


Behind Those Sad Eyes is a Smile

by acesdesire



Category: Dissidia Duodecim: Final Fantasy, Dissidia: Final Fantasy
Genre: Adventure, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-02-23 19:51:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 234,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2553500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acesdesire/pseuds/acesdesire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time Cloud looked at him, Tidus would freeze for a moment, mesmerized by the vulnerable glimmer that he could, for some reason, now detect in Cloud's eyes. Cloud may have been hard on the outside, but he wasn't on the inside. Cloud hid things, things from his past, things that upset him, and Tidus wanted to know them all. More than anything, he wanted to make them go away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reckless

**Chapter 1: Reckless**

"He's getting away!" Tidus shouted, racing after his attacker.

Cloud stood face-to-face with a manikin, a type of enemy that he had fought far too many times for it to worry him. His slim brows sank into a frown as he punished the manikin with a few heavy blows of his blade, then watched as it plummeted to the ground and vanished. Cloud swung his sword over his shoulder with a satisfied nod.

It was only a second later that Cloud heard Tidus give another shout—this one, a great deal more panicked—and Cloud glanced around until he saw his companion. The younger swordsman was pinned against a tree, a Kain manikin at his side with a long spear resting in front of his neck. Cloud quickly analyzed the situation. He could tell from the look on Tidus' face that there was no way he could make a move. A quick dart of his eyes, and Cloud was on his way to devising a plan. His eyelids fell closed, and he thrust a fist out in front of him.

"Fira," he uttered.

Tidus watched as magic flew from Cloud's hand, and headed for the tree. The manikin didn't take its eyes off of Cloud. It tilted its cocky head to the side, as if to mock Cloud's poor aim. Thankfully, Tidus caught on to Cloud's plan before the enemy did. Tidus jumped out of the way as the branch above him caught fire, and the manikin let out a garbled squeal as the burning tree limb fell upon it. Cloud took that opportunity to charge at the creature, and finished it off with his Cross-Slash attack. Tidus—who was on the ground at this point—picked himself up, and brushed himself off as Cloud approached him.

"You okay?" Cloud asked, scanning his companion for injuries.

"Thanks to you. Thought I was a goner," Tidus said, throwing his arms around Cloud's neck. The sudden contact startled Cloud, and he remained still and frozen throughout the awkward embrace. Cloud quickly shrugged his comrade off of him, but Tidus continued to smile.

"We should get back to camp," the older blond said as he placed his giant sword on his back.

"Yeah, alright. Think the area's clear now?" Tidus asked.

"I hope so." Cloud turned his back and started off in the direction of the camp.

"That was a pretty smooth move," Tidus remarked, trotting after Cloud. "You thought fast."

"It's part of the job," Cloud shrugged.

"I guess I have to work on that." Tidus chuckled, trying to get at least a hint of a smile out of Cloud. He knew Cloud's smiles were rare, but he loved the challenge of trying to induce them anyway.

"Ask Cecil. He'll give you some pointers," Cloud replied, and kept walking.

Other people probably would have found Cloud's response a little strange; after all, Cloud himself seemed a perfectly fine candidate to give Tidus some training, but over the past few months of travelling with him, Tidus had learned that that was just Cloud's way. Cloud wasn't the sort to interact with people any more than was necessary, and Tidus had grown accustomed to it, despite the fact that it could be frustrating at times.

"Maybe I will," Tidus nodded, placing his hands behind his head as he followed along. From the sudden stiffness of Cloud's shoulders, Tidus got the feeling he was done talking, and he decided he would let Cloud enjoy the silence. For now.

* * *

It was nightfall by the time the two men made it back to camp. Firion looked up from the fire Cecil was preparing, and smiled when he saw his friends approaching. Tidus walked alongside Cloud with a smile on his face, and looked to be making some light—albeit, one-sided—conversation. Tidus smiled even wider when he realized they had made it back to camp, and he took off at a run towards Firion and Cecil. He stopped when he reached them, and rested his hands triumphantly on his hips.

"Hey guys. Miss me?" he asked with a grin.

"Things do tend to get a little dry without your positivity," Cecil said, tossing a few more twigs on the fire.

"That's right. We're always glad to see you two back safe," Firion added, with a smile. Tidus flopped down on his back, the grass tickling his arms as it blew in the wind. Cloud came to stand alongside Firion.

"Did you encounter any enemies?" Firion asked, looking up at his companion from where he sat.

"Manikins," Cloud replied, simply. With a light exhale, he took his sword off his back and carefully lowered it to the ground. Tidus bolted up into a sitting position, causing the others to look in his direction.

"Oh, it was so cool! One of the manikins had me cornered, and Cloud totally caught it off guard with this fire attack!" Tidus exclaimed, imitating Cloud's motions when he had cast his spell.

"Are you alright?" Cecil asked.

"Yes. It sounds dangerous," Firion stated, a look of worry on his face.

"Nah," Tidus grinned, hopping up from the ground. He slung an arm around Cloud's shoulder. "Cloud had my back."

Cloud's discomfort was quite obvious to everyone but Tidus. He scrunched his face up a little as he fidgeted under the younger man's touch. The contact was short-lived, however, as Tidus brought both arms above his head and stretched.

"So, what's for dinner?" Tidus asked, eyeing the growing fire.

"Nothing, tonight," Cecil responded. "We're running quite low on rations."

"You're kidding me," Tidus groaned, his hands dropping to his sides.

"Don't worry. We'll find something to eat soon," Firion said, beckoning Tidus and Cloud to sit by the warmth of the fire. They did so without objection, Tidus settling comfortably between Cloud and Firion. Once Cecil was satisfied with the state of the fire, he sat down on the ground with the others and watched as the flames rose and crackled.

"Seriously, no food? Not even a crumb?" Tidus asked, raising his hand and making a tiny space with his thumb and index finger, symbolizing the smallest amount of food imaginable.

"You'll survive one night," Cloud replied, monotonously.

"If you want to go take a look for something, Tidus, one of us will go with you. I just think we should hang on to the food we have for when we really need it," Firion explained. Tidus took a quick glance at Cloud, one that went unnoticed by the rest of the group. Not wanting to be a nuisance, he decided he would hold out like the others.

"No, it's alright," Tidus said, raising his hands out in front of him to let the fire warm them.

Several minutes passed and the evening sky was quickly darkening. Tidus let out an echoing yawn; Firion chuckled at his inability to suppress such a loud noise.

"Should we consider setting up camp?" Cloud asked.

"I suppose. We'll need our rest for the morning," Cecil agreed. Without another word, the white knight rose from his position on the ground, and proceeded towards the pile of travel gear they had left a few feet away from the fire.

"I'll help," Tidus said, leaping up and following Cecil's lead. Firion moved to help them, but he was stopped by a quiet request for him to wait.

"What is it, Cloud?" Firion asked, staring in confusion at the man beside him. Cloud sat almost motionless, his knee pulled up to his chest and his arm draped limply over it.

"Firion, can I ask you something?" Cloud's tone was flat, as usual, though his eyes were filled with an unusual curiosity as they rested on the blond man several feet away, fiddling with the tent along with Cecil.

"Sure," Firion answered, following Cloud's gaze.

"It's about Tidus. Is he always so... affectionate?"

Firion laughed.

"Are you referring to earlier?" he asked.

"I've just noticed him being a lot friendlier lately," Cloud replied, with a shrug.

"Yes, he _can_ be affectionate, but you should know that by now, Cloud," Firion said, with a smile as they watched Tidus analyzing one of the tent poles, as if he didn't know which way it was supposed to go. After a moment's frustration, Tidus handed the pole over to Cecil, letting him figure it out on his own.

"He's just never been that way with _me_ before. It surprised me, is all," Cloud replied, after a moment.

"He's probably just getting to know you better. What's it been now? Three months? Four?" Firion pondered.

"Four sounds right," came Cloud's response.

"Yes. Travelling together for so long probably has something to do with it."

"I guess so."

Firion decided not to reply as Tidus smiled and made his way towards them, leaving Cecil to tackle the tent by himself.

"What're you guys talking about?" Tidus asked, a grin on his face.

"Just that we should be heading out early tomorrow morning," Firion said, assuming Cloud didn't want their actual topic to be revealed. "Right, Cloud?"

Cloud nodded, still mulling over Firion's words. He'd seen Tidus being chummy with their other comrades as well from time to time, but he'd never been so touchy-feely with him before. Maybe Tidus _was_ just getting comfortable around him.

A screech from behind caused the group to turn immediately and ready themselves for battle. Cloud leapt to his feet and raised his weapon from the ground with ease. The rest drew their weapons a moment later, glancing around in what was almost complete darkness as a water spell from an unknown caster flew towards the fire, putting it out completely.

"Do you see them?" Firion asked.

"No, but I can hear them," Cecil replied. "Manikins."

"He's right," Cloud added, listening hard as crystal feet slunk through the tall grass. "I can tell from the sound."

"Well, if it's a fight they want, it's a fight they'll get," Tidus said, bouncing on the spot, eager for battle.

"Keep a level head. Until we know where they're coming from, they have the advantage," Cloud reminded the boy beside him.

"I know that," Tidus replied, his spirits dampening only slightly by his elder's words of advice.

A rustle in the trees caused Firion to spin to the left. He drew his bow and readied an arrow, waiting for their enemies to draw nearer. Cloud looked behind him as he heard clinking crystal armour. A Garland manikin swung his sword menacingly, though Cloud could only tell it was him from the size of the shadowy weapon. A surprised yelp from Tidus only further convinced the group that they were surrounded.

The fight broke out. Try as they might, the Cosmos warriors' precision suffered thanks to the darkness impairing their vision. Cecil twirled his spear in his hand, attempting to hit the manikins now coming his way. Firion shot arrow after arrow aimlessly into the dark. Cloud backed up as he held his sword in front of him, hoping to block whatever attack his enemy was about to throw at him. He spun rapidly around as his back hit another form. He mustered what he hoped was a threatening grunt as he prepared to strike the unknown being.

"Hey!" Tidus shouted, jumping out of the way as he saw the moonlight reflect off of Cloud's sword. "Careful! It's just me!"

"Sorry," Cloud mumbled, turning back around to face the Garland manikin. Unfortunately, it was one step ahead of him. Cloud fell to the ground as the enemy's large sword collided with his own, knocking him off balance.

"Is everyone okay?" Firion called out to his companions, having heard the thump of Cloud hitting the ground.

"I _will_ be," Cloud answered, attempting to pick himself up as quickly as he could.

"Up you get," came Tidus' voice, and Cloud felt a hand on his arm, helping him up.

"Thanks," Cloud replied, though there was lingering frustration in his voice from the fall.

"Fira," Cecil called out, setting their small campfire ablaze again, giving them a bit more light, and setting fire to one of the manikins standing near it.

"Oh, right! That's their weakness!" Tidus called out, watching as the Kefka manikin he had been fighting went up in flames. The other Cosmos warriors began casting fire spells towards their enemies as fast as they could, now with more accuracy. Taking down their attackers suddenly became a much easier task with their eyes to guide them once more.

"Look! Those two are retreating!" Tidus yelled, pointing off into the distance where a couple of unidentifiable manikins were slithering away.

"Let them go!" Firion called back, as he continued to fight.

"If we follow them, we can find out where they're coming from. There could be more," Tidus argued.

"Let them go, Tidus. It's dark and we are unfamiliar with the area," Cecil replied.

"They'll just ambush us in the night!" Tidus responded without hesitation, taking off at a run.

"Tidus!" Firion hollered, but the boy continued to follow the escaping manikins into the sea of dark trees. Cecil and Firion, still busy with their own manikins, glanced toward Cloud as he finished off the Garland manikin with another fire spell.

"I'm on it," Cloud said, not needing to be asked. He wiped his sweat-covered brow and broke into a sprint, racing after his reckless companion.

* * *

After several minutes of running, the woods became quiet. Only the sounds of night birds and crickets filled Cloud's ears as he listened for the runaway. Realizing he had probably taken a wrong turn somewhere and lost Tidus' trail, Cloud let out a frustrated sigh.

"Shh!" shot a voice through the darkness. Cloud stood very still, unsure of where the response had come from.

"Tidus?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah. How'd you know?" Tidus whispered.

"Lucky guess."

"Try to be quiet. I'm listening for the manikins," Tidus explained, glancing around himself. Cloud could just barely make out Tidus' form now, standing right beside him. Cloud looked around, too, his ears focused on every little sound around them.

"I think you may have lost them," Cloud spoke up, quite sure of himself.

"No, they're still around," Tidus answered, taking a few careful steps ahead.

"We should head back," Cloud warned him. "I can't see a thing out here."

"Just a minute. I'm pretty sure..." Tidus trailed off as he heard a stick crack somewhere in the distance. Cloud had obviously heard it, too, as he slowly, stealthily went to draw his weapon. There was no time to react further when a wall of magic flew their way, lighting up the sky as it approached.

"Gah!" Tidus yelled, throwing an arm up in front of his eyes to block the light.

"Look out!" Cloud shouted, giving his companion a hard nudge in the side to get him to move out of the way. It was a wasted effort.

The spell covered more ground than Cloud had been expecting, and it threw both him and Tidus backwards into the air as it hit them. They shouted as painful electric waves coursed through their bodies. They expected they would soon hit the ground, but to their surprise, they didn't. The magic quickly wore off, but the men continued to fall through the air. And fall further. And they kept falling until finally they hit something. Water.

Tidus was the first to surface, gasping as his head rose above whatever body of water they had fallen into. He whipped his head around in all directions, hoping to see his friend nearby. He panicked when he didn't.

"Cloud!" he called out. Finally, a head appeared, accompanied by flailing arms. The moon's reflection on the water was enough so that Tidus could make out Cloud's form.

Tidus held his breath and dove under the water, quickly swimming toward his companion. It was obvious that Cloud wasn't a water dog like he was. He didn't really look like he knew how to stay afloat. Tidus rose up above the water again when he had reached his friend.

"Hold on, okay?" Tidus said, wrapping an arm around Cloud's waist, then kicking his feet out behind him, hoping he would have the strength to carry both himself and Cloud to shore. He didn't have to worry. Countless years of Blitzball had made him a very strong swimmer. He easily managed to reach the bank and aided Cloud in clambering onto the land.

Cloud coughed a few times, ridding his lungs of the water that had made its way in there. Tidus shook his head fast, sending droplets flying in all directions. He watched Cloud for a moment to make sure he was okay before wrapping his arms around himself, shivering.

"That water is freezing," he groaned.

"Yeah," was the only word Cloud could muster. Tidus sighed when he noticed the hilts of his and Cloud's swords sticking up above the surface a few metres away, and he bravely waded back in. He retrieved the weapons as fast as he could, ignoring the water's biting temperature, then returned to Cloud's side. He looked up at the sky and his stomach did an uncomfortable flip.

"Um, Cloud? You don't think there's any way we can climb back up there, do you?" he asked. Cloud glanced up, suddenly understanding Tidus' point. Crystals lined the rock walls around them, giving off a green glow. It was bright enough for the warriors to see their surroundings. They were inside what looked to be a canyon.

"Not a chance," Cloud answered. "Which means..."

"Which means we're lost," Tidus sighed. "Cold and lost."

Cloud took in a deep breath, hoping it would stop his body from shaking. When it did no good, he forced himself to get up. He could feel Tidus' eyes on him as he took a good look around. There was no end to the canyon. In one direction, the deep water seemed to go on for as far as Cloud could see. In the other direction, there seemed to be some soppy land, which looked to be a more viable option, though still not an overly desirable one.

"Come on," Cloud said, lending Tidus a hand and pulling him to his feet. "Maybe if we keep walking, we'll make it out of this canyon."

"Are you kidding? Why can't we just sleep here and continue on in the morning?" Tidus asked. Cloud bit his tongue to prevent himself from scolding the man in front of him. If Tidus had just stayed put in the first place, they probably _could have_ been sleeping in their warm tents by now, but there was no point in arguing about it. They were stuck in this place, regardless.

"The ground's too wet. We'll end up catching colds if we sleep here," Cloud explained.

"I guess," Tidus mumbled, kicking a water-filled boot against the mucky ground.

"Follow me. If we get a move on, we might make it out of here before sunrise," Cloud said, placing his sword on his back and starting off at a good pace. Tidus jogged a few steps to catch up.

"Cloud?" he asked, watching his friend with wide blue eyes.

"Yeah?" Cloud asked, giving him a sidelong glance. Tidus couldn't help but smile at his water-soaked hair all draped over one eye.

"Your spikes are kinda..." Tidus trailed off. Cloud's eyes widened in horror, and he put one hand to his head to find that his hair was, indeed, as flat as a pancake.

"Ugh," Cloud sighed, as Tidus trotted along beside him. "This is going to be a long night."

* * *

A/N: Hey there, readers! Well, you made it through the first chapter, so I guess it wasn't horrible:D This is the first of MANY chapters, actually, but the good news is, this is my third or fourth time editing through this story, so I think it's in pretty good shape. That means that I'll be updating pretty frequently; I'm going to try for a chapter a week.  
  
Those of you who have read my other fics on here, or visited my tumblr blog (clidusshrine . tumblr . com) know that I am a huuuuuge fan of Tidus/Cloud, and I think this story really helps to explain how (I believe) a relationship could develop between them. I realize it's not a very common pairing, but my hope is that this will give the boys some new fans:D  
  
Reviews aren't necessary, but they really help my motivation, and make me feel that my two years-that's right, I've been writing this beast for two years-of work has been worth it. That's it for now. Hope you enjoyed Chapter 1, and hope to see you again for Chapter 2!


	2. Waterlogged

**Chapter 2: Waterlogged**

The going was slow as Tidus and Cloud tried to find their way in the dim light. Unfortunately, the soggy route they had chosen contained much deeper water than they had anticipated, and the grassy terrain that Cloud had hoped for was nowhere to be found. Instead, the stones beneath their feet were slippery, and they struggled to keep their footing in the murky water. Their clothes, still wet from the lack of breeze, clung uncomfortably to their skin. To their dismay, even after hours of travel, the sun was still far from rising.

"Careful," Tidus warned, pointing out to Cloud a particularly slippery rock that he had almost slipped on himself.

Cloud nodded a thank you, and avoided the dangerous path. He glanced at the sky for what seemed like the millionth time that night. It was just as dark as it had been when they had first landed in this treacherous canyon.

"Tidus, I think we're going to have to sleep here after all," Cloud spoke up. Tidus halted in his tracks and spun around to face him.

"Huh?" Tidus asked, a look of disappointment appearing on his face. If Cloud was giving up for the night, it could only mean one thing: their way out was much farther away than Cloud had expected.

"There's no end in sight," Cloud admitted, heading for the enormous stones that lined the canyon walls. He brushed a hand over one of the rocks' damp surface before sitting down.

"We're gonna sleep on the rocks?" Tidus asked, watching Cloud from where he stood, still ankle-deep in water.

"We don't have much choice," Cloud replied, removing his sword from his back and setting it upright beside him. He grimaced at the sight of the blade's tip resting in the water like that; he hoped one night wouldn't cause it to rust. Tidus waded his way to Cloud and sat down on one of the rocks next to him.

"What about Firion and Cecil? They're probably worried about us," Tidus said, hanging his head low as he thought back to his friends.

"They shouldn't be worrying. They know we're together," Cloud answered, simply. Tidus' head snapped up at the comment, his world starting to spin a little.

"T-together?" he asked, uncertainly. Cloud stared at him, looking confused.

"Yeah. The two of us off on our own? I chased after you, remember?"

"Oh!" Tidus replied, playfully slapping himself on the head. "Duh. _That_ kind of together," he added, with a chuckle. Cloud looked away, and Tidus took a moment to swallow his embarrassment. It wasn't the first time he'd been caught thinking about a relationship with Cloud, and he doubted it would be the last.

Tidus took a deep breath, and spoke up again.

"They might not know if we met up or not, though. It took you a few minutes to find me, after all," Tidus added, managing to get his thoughts back on track.

"That's true," Cloud replied, tilting his head so he could glance once more at the sky above. "I'm sure they're fine, though. They shouldn't worry too much." Tidus saw Cloud shiver out of the corner of his eye. Cautiously, Tidus turned his head to get a better look at his companion.

"You're frozen," Tidus spoke up, observing the goosebumps covering Cloud's arms.

Before Cloud realized what he was doing, Tidus had an arm around his shoulders, and his hand began to rub gently at his skin. Cloud's arm was cold beneath Tidus' palm, but Tidus hardly had any time to warm him as Cloud shrunk away from his touch. Tidus pulled away, too, letting his arm fall back down to his side. He gave Cloud a timid glance, worried he'd gone too far, that Cloud hadn't liked the contact. Cloud shook his head.

"Sorry. I'm just tired," he mumbled.

"That's okay," Tidus replied. "It's been a long day."

Tidus looked down at the rock he was sitting on, and patted it, as if he were fluffing a pillow. He proceeded to lie down, sprawling himself over several of the misshapen stones, then fidgeted until he became satisfied with the smallest amount of discomfort he could achieve. Cloud soon followed his example and lay down, trying his best to get his body in a position comfortable enough to sleep in.

"It's not the best, is it?" Tidus joked.

"I doubt we'll find much better," came Cloud's reply, which was accompanied by another shiver. Tidus could feel Cloud's shoulder tremble against his foot.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" he asked, bringing his head up high enough to see Cloud lying on the rocks further down.

"I'm sure," Cloud promised him. Tidus settled for that answer, but he would make sure to check on him throughout the night, just in case.

* * *

Cloud awoke to the bright sun flickering against his closed eyelids, the orange glow so harsh that he didn't have to open his eyes to see it. He sat up and felt his back protesting from a bad night's sleep on his bed of rubble. He shook his head and put a hand to his hair, relieved to find it had returned to its usual spiky state; at the very least, it meant no more teasing from Tidus.

Cloud glanced at his comrade, still a-snooze on his pile of rocks. The boy looked so peaceful—albeit, a little silly—with one hand draped over his forehead, his body sprawled out over his makeshift bed. Cloud felt a little sorry for having to wake him—it was obvious he was still enjoying his sleep—but he didn't have much choice. He wanted to get moving again while they still had lots of daylight for travelling.

Cloud got up from the rocks—his boots immediately becoming soaked once again as he stepped down—and slung his sword over his back before proceeding toward his companion. He placed a hand on Tidus' shoulder and shook him gently.

"Tidus," he said, softly. He watched Tidus' brows twitch and furrow a little; he seemed reluctant to break out of his slumber.

"Tidus," Cloud repeated. With another gentle shake, he was able to get Tidus to open his eyes, though it lasted only a moment. Tidus smiled when he saw Cloud's face, then closed his eyes and let out a loud yawn.

"Five more minutes?"

"Only if you want to get left behind," Cloud replied.

"Aw, you're no fun," Tidus responded with a sleepy chuckle, forcing himself to sit up. He let out a small groan and ruefully rubbed his backside.

"Rocks are not so comfy, are they?"

"Not so much," Cloud answered, with a shake of his head. Tidus yawned once more and stood up, before collecting his sword and tying it at his side. He glanced down at his feet, the water coming up to his ankles once again.

"Seems like we just got dry," he sighed.

"Not much we can do about it," Cloud said, moving past him. "But the sooner we find a way out of here, the better."

"Yeah, I know. How long do you think that'll take?" Tidus asked, following after his friend. The water sloshed inside his boots, and he tried not to cringe.

"Don't know," Cloud replied with a shrug.

"Do you think the guys will have a meal ready for us when we get back?" Tidus asked, glancing up at the canyon surrounding him as he walked. Cloud suddenly halted, his hands jolting out in front of him in a defensive stance. He stayed perfectly still and listened. He was sure he'd heard something.

"Like, maybe some fish or something," Tidus continued, as he walked straight into Cloud's back, and bounced off of him.

"Whoa. Why'd you stop?" he asked, rubbing his head, and feeling rather silly for having been so oblivious to Cloud's actions. Cloud didn't answer, but Tidus clued in when he realized Cloud was on the alert. Several long seconds passed, and Cloud let down his guard, deciding he must have been wrong.

"I thought I heard something," he said, staring ahead. Tidus took a couple of strides forward to stand beside him.

"I don't _see_ anything," Tidus replied.

"Guess I was wrong," Cloud frowned, reluctantly placing the Buster Sword on his back once again. "Sorry, you were saying?"

"Uh, I don't remember," Tidus chuckled. "It probably wasn't important anyway." Cloud nodded, and continued to trudge through the water with his companion at his heels. Tidus released a sigh.

"So, on a scale from one to ten, how hard do you think it's gonna be to find a way out of here?" he asked.

"I'd rather not guess," Cloud answered, monotonously. Tidus shrugged. He was used to Cloud not playing along with his games.

"Well, judging by how long we've been walking with no luck, I'm gonna say at least a five." Tidus' words were cut short when Cloud's gaze shot upward.

"Tidus, look out!" he shouted, drawing his sword and turning toward the right wall of the canyon.

"Huh?" Tidus blurted out, brows raised. Then he saw it: a manikin climbing its way down the rocky wall.

"Oh, great," he groaned, readying his own blade, eyes locked on the enemy. Cloud closed his eyes, and held a fist out in front of him, quickly summoning a fire spell. The manikin screeched, and plopped down into the water as the attack connected with it. Now, the men could clearly make out the manikin's form: the creature was a shimmering representation of their companion Terra.

"Just wait. Don't attack until I say so," Cloud warned, not wanting to move forward due to the slippery footing. He waited instead for the enemy to approach, hoping to eliminate the risk of falling.

"Right," Tidus agreed, holding a firm stance. That didn't last long, however, when Tidus heard another sound from behind him. He quickly turned to see an Ultimecia manikin approaching from the left wall.

"Um, Cloud? We may have a problem," he said, taking a step backward. Cloud didn't reply. He was too preoccupied with the Terra manikin that was closing in on him.

"Whoa!" Tidus shouted, as the Ultimecia manikin threw a bolt of lightning magic his way. He ducked just in time, the blow just narrowly missing him. The creature didn't hesitate in following that spell with several more, and before Cloud could do anything to stop him, Tidus had charged off into combat. Cloud cursed under his breath, and began casting magic at his own attacker, knowing they wouldn't stand a chance if they both risked the wet rocks underfoot.

The sounds of battle were loud as they echoed throughout the canyon, and Cloud hoped they wouldn't attract more danger. He forced that worry to the back of his mind, and released one final spell. That was all it took for the Terra manikin to shriek and shatter, disappearing before Cloud's eyes.

Cloud whipped around, his gaze moving to watch Tidus slash away at the manikin of Ultimecia.

"Remember to watch your footing," Cloud reminded his companion.

"Ow!" Tidus yelled, as the enemy's ice spell came crashing down on him. He fell to one knee, and Cloud cautiously took a few steps forward through the water. He was near enough now for his own sword to be of use.

Cloud swung at the manikin, but was thrown off balance as another spell bounced off his blade. He stumbled backward, his foot slipping off the rock it had been on. He somehow managed to remain standing, but by the time he had regained his balance, the Ultimecia manikin had summoned two crystalline blades that hovered hauntingly above her head. Tidus was clambering to his feet when the manikin sent those blades flying.

Cloud ducked, successfully avoiding the attack. Once he was sure the danger had passed, he stood and opened his mouth to warn his companion, but he was too late. The blade headed for Tidus, spinning and spiraling rapidly as it moved. Cloud's breath caught in his throat as the weapon hit Tidus in the chest. The Ex-SOLDIER didn't exhale until he confirmed Tidus had merely been hit with the hilt of the blade. Still, the force of the impact threw Tidus backwards into the water, causing his head to collide with the rocks below.

"Tidus?" Cloud called out, but his companion didn't move. Tidus lay limp, eyes closed as the shallow water bubbled over his body. Quickly, Cloud summoned all the strength he could to finish off the manikin on his own.

Tidus could feel the water around him, and knew he was just barely managing to keep his face above the surface. He could feel the pain pulsing through his head. He blinked a few times through heavy lids, the sounds of battle growing fainter as he felt himself being tugged into unconsciousness.

* * *

"Tidus? Tidus, are you with me?" Cloud's voice was hazy in Tidus' mind, but Tidus managed to follow that voice and open his eyes.

He saw a look of relief wash over Cloud's blurry face, and he blinked a few times in hopes that that face would come into focus. He felt Cloud's hand under his neck, cradling it. He could sense the water running over his skin again.

"Are you okay?" Cloud asked.

"What happened?" Tidus frowned, raising a shaky hand to his forehead.

"That manikin hit you with its blade, remember?"

"Oh, right," Tidus nodded, letting his hand fall back down into the water when he realized he was too weak to hold it up. Had he not been so out of it, he would have been thrilled to have Cloud kneeling here with him, holding him like he was. Right now, it hardly even registered in his brain.

His eyes fell closed again, and Cloud's brows twitched with worry.

"Tidus, you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, but my head feels kinda funny," Tidus admitted.

"I'm not surprised. Looked like you hit the rocks pretty hard."

Tidus released a shaky breath, his eyes still closed and his head lolling to the side, toward Cloud's body.

"Tidus?" Cloud asked again.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Tidus assured him, but his pale face and closed lids were not convincing.

Cloud reached a hand into his pocket, hoping he hadn't left _all_ of his belongings back with Firion and Cecil. When his first pocket was confirmed empty, he checked the other, and was relieved to find the emergency supplies he'd been searching for.

"Here," Cloud said, bringing a blue potion bottle to Tidus' lips. "Drink this. It might help."

He propped Tidus up a little higher, and helped him consume a swig of the medicine. Tidus remained still for another long moment as Cloud continued to gaze down at him.

"Any better?" Cloud asked, sounding hopeful.

"A little," Tidus nodded, the pounding in his head lessening slightly.

He forced his eyes open, and for the first time, his brain realized how significant this moment was. Tidus felt his heart leap into his throat, and he swallowed in hopes of sending it back down as he stared up at Cloud's gentle expression. Those vibrant blue eyes were full of concern, and Tidus couldn't help but feel a little pleased that that concern was for him, but he knew better than to let himself stare. He knew if he did, he would get lost in a heartbeat.

"Actually, I'm okay now," Tidus said, quickly, pushing himself to sit up on his own. Cloud leaned back a bit to give him some space, but kept his arm out behind Tidus' back, just in case he collapsed again.

"Are you sure?" Cloud asked.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine," Tidus nodded, a little dizzy as he hastily got up from the ground. He brushed himself off to distract himself, but it was a useless effort as most of the water droplets still clung to his clothes.

"Okay," Cloud said, slowly, still looking hesitant. "Just let me know if it starts hurting again."

Cloud stuffed what was left of the potion back into his pocket, keeping a watchful eye on his injured companion as he did so. Tidus let out a shaky sigh as he tried to steady his trembling legs and pounding heart; Cloud had been having that effect on him a lot lately. He looked around until he found the direction in which they'd been heading before the manikins had attacked, and after a moment, he felt Cloud at his side.

"We should get moving," the elder blond spoke up. "Who knows when we'll make it out of this canyon."

"Cloud? Tidus?" called a voice from above.

Tidus met Cloud's wary gaze for a moment before they turned their attention to the ground above. Peeking over the top of the canyon were two familiar faces who were quite a welcome sight to the weary travelers. Tidus put a hand above his brow to block the sun and give himself a better view.

"Zidane! Bartz! Great timing!" Tidus shouted, his lips curving into an unrestrained smile.

"What are you doing down _there_?" Zidane asked.

"Let's just say it wasn't planned," Tidus answered, inducing a chuckle from Bartz.

"Any ideas on how to get out of here?" Cloud called up, his tone far more serious than those of his companions—not that his friends expected any different.

"I take it you've tried walking?" Bartz asked.

"Walked for hours. Didn't seem to do any good," Cloud replied.

"Well, what goes down must come up," Bartz said, with a smile, turning to dig in his bag.

"Huh? That's not how the saying goes," Zidane frowned.

"It is _today_ ," Bartz grinned as he pulled a rope out of his bag. He lay it out on the ground and stretched it out as far as it would go. He shook his head when he determined it wouldn't do.

"Zidane, do you still have any?" Zidane glanced behind him, and recognized what Bartz was doing.

"Oh, I'll check," he nodded, rushing to his own bag of supplies and rummaging through it.

"What are you guys doin'?" Tidus called out. There was no response for several moments, nor was there any sign of the two boys up above. Cloud and Tidus exchanged glances once again, beginning to worry their companions would be of no help to them after all.

"Try this," Zidane shouted.

Tidus and Cloud watched as a rope—or rather, a few ropes tied together in places—was lowered down to them. It hung against the canyon wall, swaying slightly side to side as it awaited its first courageous passenger.

"It's worth a shot, right?" Tidus asked, casting another glance at Cloud.

"I guess so," Cloud replied, as he followed Tidus over to their potential escape route. "Are you sure you feel up to climbing?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Tidus assured him, flashing another smile.

Tidus was the first to test the rope. He tugged on it a few times, making sure it was secure.

"What did you guys tie this to, anyway?" he asked, sounding a little uneasy.

"A tree," Zidane answered, glancing at the tall oak a few feet behind him.

"Don't worry. It won't budge an inch," Bartz promised.

Tidus, with his hands gripped tightly around the rope, carefully began climbing onto the rocks protruding out of the water. Then, he started to walk up the canyon wall. Cloud's heart pounded as he watched. He wasn't sure what scared him more: the possibility of Tidus falling, or having to make the climb himself.

"That's good. Keep coming," Bartz encouraged.

"Yeah. You're almost... Well, no, you're not even close, but keep trying anyway," Zidane chimed in.

"You're a real help, Zidane," Tidus snarled, trying not to look down. Heights didn't normally bother him, but the jagged rocks below were certainly making him nervous now.

Tidus took his time, though all he wanted was to get to the top as fast as he could. Step by step, he continued to climb, keeping his fingers locked tightly around the rope.

"Easy does it," Cloud said, gently.

"Yep, I— Ahh!" Tidus yelled as his foot slipped, sending several pieces of rocks tumbling down into the water. Everyone gasped. Cloud felt like his heart might have fallen into his stomach. He watched in terror as Tidus attempted to get his footing again.

"Come on, Tidus!" Zidane encouraged, his heart pounding as Tidus dangled on the rope. Finally, Tidus managed to hook his foot on a piece of rock, and from there was able to climb up the rest of the way.

"You scared us, man," the genome said, swishing his tail as he and Bartz pulled Tidus up onto solid land. Tidus collapsed onto his back, limbs outstretched, breathing hard and fast.

"Sorry," Tidus grumbled. "Next time, I'll try not disturb any rocks, for your sake."

"You're next, Cloud," Bartz called down, peeking over the edge of the canyon. He threw the rope down once more and Cloud eyed it warily before taking hold of it.

"A word of advice, Cloud. Watch your footing," Tidus said, half jokingly, peering over the edge of the canyon.

Cloud swallowed his fears and started up the wall, mimicking Tidus' movements in hopes that it would get him, too, safely up the wall. Perhaps it was to be expected that Tidus would have an easier time tackling the wall than Cloud would; Tidus was an athlete after all. Of course, Cloud's tangled nerves weren't helping, nor was the massive Buster sword dangling from his back.

Cloud could hear his friends encouraging him, but he tried to block them out and concentrate instead on his steps. He watched his feet carefully and made a strong effort to avoid looking down. Before he realized how far he'd come, he felt arms pulling him up the rest of the way. Cloud collapsed on the land and lay with his face in the grass for a moment, making sure he didn't feel queasy from the climb before he stood up. When he finally began to push himself up off the ground, he felt an arm helping him.

"I've gotcha." There was Tidus at his side again.

Cloud once again thought back to what Firion had said. The joking around, the physical contact... Maybe they _were_ getting closer. It was kind of nice knowing someone had his back, but Cloud wouldn't let himself get attached; it never seemed to end well when he did.

"Thinkin' 'bout something?" Tidus asked, cocking his head to the side, innocently, as he looked Cloud in the eye. Cloud rapidly shook his head, realizing he had been in a daze.

"Just a little dizzy," he said, and it wasn't a complete lie, either.

"Well, let's get somewhere safe so you can rest a little," Tidus replied, with a smile, his arm still linked with Cloud's to support him. The lingering contact was making Cloud feel a little uncomfortable.

"I'm fine. We should keep moving. Don't want to burn daylight," Cloud said. He tugged a little to break free of Tidus' grasp, wanting to further prove the point that he didn't need rest. Tidus tried not to be offended, but it wasn't easy.

"You guys, your feet are soaked. We need to get you both warm and dry," Bartz said, concern in his grey eyes.

"Bartz is right. We should find a spot to settle down for a bit. Get a fire going," Zidane added, his tail waving a little as he spoke.

"Cloud?" Bartz asked, when Tidus remained surprisingly silent. Cloud glanced down at his wet boots. His feet would certainly be thankful for the warm fire.

"Alright," Cloud eventually replied. "But after that, we get a move on."

"No problem, boss," Zidane smirked, as he and Bartz led them away from the canyon.

Cloud glanced at Tidus as they walked, and his attention was caught by the young man's abnormal posture. Tidus' body had become stiff, his shoulders were slouched, and the smile was gone from his cheery face. Cloud normally didn't question such things, but such a solemn appearance was out of character for Tidus. Why the boy's smile had disappeared, Cloud couldn't help but wonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: End of Chapter 2! Hey, readers! Hope you're enjoying the story so far. If you wanna leave a review, feel free:) Just no flames, please. Don't forget to check back in a week's time for a new chapter:D I should also mention that this story is rated M for later chapters (MUCH later, haha). And there will also be some mention of previous Cloud/Zack. If that all floats your boat, please, stick around for more! Tidus and Cloud will love you for it:D


	3. Distracted

**Chapter 3: Distracted**

The group walked for half an hour or more before they settled on a place to rest. By this time, Tidus' and Cloud's wet feet had become partially dry, but once they had a fire going, they had no complaints about drying off the rest of the way. Despite his focus on warming himself up, Cloud still took notice of Tidus' unusual presence; there was still a certain tautness in his shoulders that looked like the result of some mental tension. Knowing it was rare for the young man to be so uptight, Cloud decided to sit down beside him while Bartz and Zidane were off collecting water.

Normally, Cloud wasn't the type to involve himself with someone else's problems, but with the others gone and Tidus looking as out of sorts as he did, Cloud felt obligated to make an exception. After all, it didn't seem right to ignore him when he was obviously suffering.

"You look pretty tense," Cloud said, causing Tidus to momentarily look up from the fire.

"I guess climbing up a canyon wall will do that to you," he answered, casually, but Cloud thought he sounded a little off; the usual chipper tone was missing from his voice.

"You didn't get hurt, did you?" Cloud asked, with a slight frown.

"Nah. I'm fine."

"And your head feels okay? From when you fell?"

"Yeah, it's good," Tidus replied, grateful—and a little surprised—that Cloud sounded worried about him. Cloud nodded, and turned his gaze to the fire. Tidus frowned a little, wishing he hadn't let their conversation end so easily. Quickly, he sucked in a breath and spoke up again.

"Actually, I guess I'm a little shaken up about that manikin that knocked me out earlier," he lied, just for a chance to continue talking to his aloof companion.

"A lot can happen in battle. It's easy to feel concerned after an attack like that," Cloud replied, his eyes on the fire in front of him.

"Guess I messed up, huh?" Tidus chuckled, weakly.

"Just remember to keep a careful eye out for your surroundings, and you'll do fine."

"Right. I'll try and remember that," Tidus said, managing a smile. He felt a little better now that he'd gotten a few more words out of Cloud—he would consider it a small victory for now—and he tried his best to put aside the remains of his frustration that had refused to let go throughout the afternoon.

"Hey, guys!" Zidane called out. Tidus and Cloud turned to see their friends emerging from a nearby opening in the trees, both of them carrying small pails of water.

"We found a stream a little ways off," Zidane told them, setting his bucket down and taking a seat on the ground beside Tidus.

"It doesn't look like the best drinking water, but we can probably use it to wash up," Bartz explained.

"Sounds good," Cloud said.

"So, you guys don't have any gear at all, do you?" Zidane asked.

"No, just our weapons. The rest of our gear is with Firion and Cecil," Cloud answered.

"We might run into a moogle shop or something along the way. Maybe you can stock up on some other supplies," Bartz suggested.

"We might have to if we can't find our own. I'm not even sure where we were before we ended up in that canyon," Cloud admitted. Bartz and Zidane gave him a sympathetic look. Cloud's gaze darted to Tidus, who was staring blankly into the fire.

"Well, you're welcome to travel with us for the time being," Zidane offered.

"Under the circumstances, we may have to. Tidus?" Cloud asked, bringing the warrior out of his trance.

"Huh?" Tidus asked, perking his head up.

"Did you hear us?" Cloud asked, frowning slightly.

"'Course. Every word," Tidus smiled. "I'm gonna go freshen up, okay?"

With that, he got up from the ground and brushed himself off before heading for the trees. The others watched him as he walked out of sight. Cloud glanced at the pails of water that Bartz and Zidane had brought back. Strange. Had Tidus not realized he could have just washed up here?

"Is it just me, or is that guy getting weirder every time I see him?" Zidane asked, pointing his thumb in Tidus' direction.

" _You_ must be rubbing off on him," Bartz teased, as he sat down beside his friend.

"Oh, shut up!" Zidane yelled, elbowing Bartz hard in the side. Cloud ignored them as they erupted into a fit of laughter, and stared at the spot where Tidus had disappeared, a shred of concern surfacing in his already weary mind.

* * *

Tidus had no trouble finding the stream that Bartz and Zidane had mentioned. He'd headed straight from where they had set up their fire, and eventually his ears had led the way. Now, he was crouched next to the stream, the sounds of its soft bubbling soothing his busy brain. Tidus' gloves lay on the ground beside him while his bare hands rested in the cool water. He closed his eyes, and listened to the sounds of nature around him, trying hard let go of the thoughts swimming around in his head, but he couldn't. It wasn't the manikin attack that was bothering him, though he'd managed to lie about it; it was Cloud, and Cloud didn't seem to stray very far from his mind these days.

Even now, as Tidus tried to push Cloud out of his mind, the man somehow managed to fight his way back in even harder. Tidus sighed, and splashed some water on his face, hoping it would liven him up, and distract him for the time being. The past few weeks had been tough. Tidus had finally come to understand and accept the feelings that he had been trying so hard to sort out for months now, and it was becoming harder and harder to stop himself from acting on them. He was falling for Cloud, and it was a feeling that was too familiar to be mistaken for anything else.

Tidus remembered what it had felt like falling for Yuna: how his heart used to flutter when he was near her, how he longed to be next to her, how excited he would get when she laughed, or spoke, or smiled. The same was true of Cloud—though Cloud's smiles and laughter were far more rare—and Tidus found himself taking advantage of any opportunity he could to offer his friendship to Cloud, but Cloud didn't acknowledge Tidus' small kindnesses the way Yuna had. Unlike Yuna, Cloud didn't talk much when Tidus tried to have a conversation with him. Cloud was hesitant to accept a helping hand when someone offered it, whereas Yuna had always welcomed Tidus' aid. Tidus tried his best not to let it bother him, but sometimes he felt like he wasn't making much progress at all. Cloud was still detached—from Tidus, _and_ the rest of their companions.

Cloud made Tidus feel hopeless and determined at the same time. In fact, Cloud made Tidus feel a whole lot of contrasting emotions, and Tidus had grown quite accustomed to them over the past couple of months. Happiness and frustration. Fear and excitement. They were all things that Cloud had made him feel at one time or another, and even though it was hard for Tidus to be around Cloud and not let his feelings be known, it was also exhilarating. It was a test to see how close he could get without having Cloud turn away or realize his true intentions, but it was a test that Tidus didn't take lightly.

Tidus thought back to when it had all started, to when his romantic sentiments for Cloud had first surfaced. They had been sitting around the campfire one night, just the two of them. Firion and Cecil had turned in early, but Tidus and Cloud had decided to stay up a bit longer, hoping to see the first glimpse of sunrise. Tidus couldn't really remember why they had come up with that goal, but he did remember one thing: Cloud's smile.

Tidus had made Cloud Strife smile. Unfortunately, that smile had wiped Tidus' mind of everything leading up to that moment, and he desperately wished he could remember what he'd said or done to spur on that smile. Regardless, it was one of the most spectacular things he had ever seen. He remembered how his heart had leapt into his throat, and how his own smile had grown about a million times bigger. He could recall how genuine it was, not one of those forced smiles Cloud usually gave people. No, this had been sincere, and it had been only for him. Even now, Tidus got goosebumps thinking back to that moment.

At first, Tidus had pushed thoughts of that night aside, thinking it had been a momentary attraction, and that the feeling would pass. 'Attraction' wasn't even a word he really wanted to use, because, at the time, he wasn't even sure that's what it was. After that night, he had gone on his merry way, but every time Cloud glanced at him, or said something to him, Tidus would freeze for a moment, mesmerized by the vulnerable look that he could now, for some reason, detect in Cloud's eyes. Cloud may have been hard on the outside, but he wasn't on the inside. Once Tidus had realized that, he became determined to get closer to him.

Cloud was an enigma, a riddle that Tidus couldn't put aside until he figured it out. He soon discovered that the more time he spent with Cloud, the more he needed to know about him. The desire to learn about Cloud only became deeper, and those moments when Tidus got lost in Cloud's eyes or entranced by his voice became more frequent, and more powerful. Tidus began to realize that this wasn't just an inclination to get to know Cloud. Tidus wanted to be someone Cloud could rely on, someone who could always make him smile. He hoped to become Cloud's confidant, his friend, and as time went on, hopefully even his _more-than-friend,_ but one thing always stood in the way: Cloud didn't open up to people easily.

Tidus knew Cloud had caring tendencies; he had seen evidence of Cloud's kindness a hundred times, whether it be aiding an injured companion, or helping out with battle preparations. He knew that Cloud's soft side wasn't something that showed itself often, but Tidus hoped to find what was blocking it from coming out, and kick the crap out of it until it no longer stood in the way. Cloud hid things, things from his past, things that upset him, and Tidus wanted to know them all. More than anything, he wanted to make them go away. He wanted Cloud to _trust_ him, but how could he do that when Cloud kept himself at a distance?

Every time Tidus tried pry answers out of him, Cloud shied away from his questions. Whenever Tidus touched him, it seemed like Cloud pulled away, just like he had at the top of the canyon. Perhaps anyone would have reacted the same way, but it still hurt. Sometimes, Tidus wished he could give up. It would have been easier if he wasn't so damn determined to get Cloud to open up, but those feelings of want and need refused to go away. He was beginning to doubt they would _ever_ go away.

Tidus splashed some water onto his arms, momentarily interrupting his thoughts. He scrubbed at the few dirt spots that had been caked onto his skin at some point during the day, and let out a sigh. He knew he had to let go of his frustration. He was sure Cloud hadn't meant to offend him earlier, and to be fair, Cloud had no idea how much it meant to him just to be that close. Besides, Tidus knew that sooner or later he would find himself falling for Cloud all over again, and all his frustration would seem insignificant as he started anew, trying to gain Cloud's trust and affection.

"Hey," came Cloud's voice, as if on cue. Tidus tried to ignore his suddenly pounding heart and reddening cheeks as he shoved his hands back into the water.

"Hey," he greeted, somehow managing to sound like his usual cheery self. He splashed some water on his face, then rubbed it dry with his sleeve before hopping up from the ground and tugging his gloves back on.

"I wanted to make sure you're alright, so I can get you back to Firion and Cecil in one piece. You... don't seem yourself," Cloud commented, and Tidus had become so finely attuned to Cloud's expressions that he could see the smallest hint of concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine," Tidus replied, giving Cloud a smile. "I'll admit, I was a little scared after that fight, but I'm okay now."

"Good to hear," Cloud nodded, though he kept his watchful eye on the boy as he adjusted his gloves.

"So, it's alright with you if we travel with Bartz and Zidane for a while?" Cloud asked. Tidus looked up at him, his attention now fully on Cloud. His heart felt like it had fallen into the pit of his stomach. Sadly, it looked like their alone time was over.

"Huh? When did we discuss that?" Tidus' brows were furrowed in confusion.

"Back at the campfire. You were _there_."

"Oh."

Silence took over. Tidus rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed that he had been caught not paying attention.

"So, travelling with the others, huh? Y-yeah, that's fine," he said, after a moment's hesitation, though it hurt to do so. Tidus may have been hurt when Cloud pulled away from him earlier, but they'd had their moments down in that canyon. Part of him wanted to beg Cloud not to travel with the others, but he knew he couldn't. His intentions would be too obvious.

"You're sure?" Cloud asked.

"Of course. Zidane and Bartz are our friends, aren't they?" Tidus gave Cloud a half-smile, then walked briskly past him, heading once again in the direction of the campfire. He could hear Cloud following behind him, but he didn't dare say another word. He had to calm down before he said something he would regret. His advances, no matter how subtle, would have to wait.

* * *

After putting out the fire and hiding the evidence of their camp-out location, the group moved forward again, proceeding mostly in silence. Tidus was still abnormally quiet as he took up his position at the rear. Cloud led the way, and Bartz and Zidane walked side-by-side in the middle. Cloud wasn't the only one who had noticed Tidus' solemn disposition; Zidane was also surprised by the man's lack of enthusiasm. Normally, Tidus was the one still shining even when the sun wasn't.

After too many hours of dealing with a quiet Tidus, Zidane slowed his pace and fell in step with his friend at the back of the line. Tidus' eyes darted up only for a moment to acknowledge Zidane, then they fell to the ground where they had been a minute prior. Zidane gave a sigh and rested his hands behind his head as he walked.

"Alright. Enough with the silence. What's eatin' ya?" he asked.

"Nothing," Tidus answered, almost immediately.

"Don't be like that. You know I can see right through you."

Tidus knew his friend was right. He and Zidane had hit it off as soon as they'd met each other. For the longest time, wherever one would go, the other would follow. They shared a similar happy-go-lucky personality, they laughed at the same stupid jokes, and they both had a way of turning people's frowns upside down.

"Zidane," Tidus finally said, keeping his eyes on the road ahead as he continued to walk behind the others. He knew Zidane would keep pestering him if he didn't speak up.

"Yeah?" Zidane asked.

" _You're_ nosy..." Tidus paused, as if there was more he wanted to say. Zidane gave a coy smile, looking awfully proud of that little fact.

"Come to me for info, did you?" Zidane asked, grinning. Tidus hesitated, not sure if he wanted to spill the beans. He knew for a fact that Zidane wasn't the best at keeping secrets. Tidus drew in a long breath, and chose his words carefully before opening his mouth.

"What do you know about Cloud?" Tidus asked.

"Cloud? Not a whole lot. _You've_ been travelling with him for longer than I have," Zidane reminded him. Tidus looked up ahead. Bartz was alongside Cloud now, practically talking his ear off. Cloud looked uninterested—that was the standard result of Cloud's conversations with people he didn't really know—but perhaps Bartz just wasn't talking about the right things. Maybe Bartz couldn't make Cloud smile like Tidus could.

"I know," Tidus replied, regaining his focus. "I just thought you might have the inside scoop."

"Well," Zidane started. "I talked to Tifa about him, but she didn't tell me a lot. Rough childhood, lost his father as a kid, has sort of a dark past. I don't know much beyond that," Zidane admitted, wishing his investigation skills had proven more useful. Usually, he was an information guru.

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know," Tidus said, lowering his voice. "He's just so distant."

"Yeah? And?" Zidane asked, brows raised.

"I wish I could help him get over... whatever it is that makes him so sad," Tidus tried to explain. There was a detectable solemness in his voice, and a narrow frown appeared on Zidane's face as he tried to understand why his friend was so perturbed. Zidane analyzed Tidus for a moment or two, before he gave up trying to find an answer. Tidus was an oddball. If he wanted to help the cold and distant Cloud, why question it?

"Maybe he's havin' a bad hair day," Zidane teased. "You know, every day for the past four months."

"Oh, come on," Tidus groaned, sounding a bit irritated. "You know it's something deeper than that."

"Yeah, well, whatever it is, I doubt he's gonna tell you about it," Zidane sighed. "If he wanted to talk about his problems, he's got plenty of friends here who would listen. He just chooses not to take advantage."

"Hey, you make him sound like a bad guy," Tidus said, nudging Zidane in the arm. "Maybe he doesn't _know_ we would listen. Ever think of that?"

"No," Zidane said, quietly, after a long pause. "I don't know why you're so concerned about him anyway," he continued, with a shrug.

"He's our _friend_ ," Tidus reminded him. "Friends help each other."

"I guess," Zidane rolled his eyes.

The two grew quiet, Tidus deep in thought, and Zidane shrugging off his friend's odd behaviour. Tidus watched Cloud up ahead; he was still ignoring Bartz's conversation which had turned into something about chocobos. Tidus thought hard. What was Bartz doing wrong? What did Cloud _like_ to talk about? Tidus spoke up again when his brain started to hurt from all the thinking.

"So, if I were gonna get Cloud to talk, where would I start?" Tidus asked, putting a hand to his chin, pondering. Zidane rolled his eyes again, and heaved a sigh.

"Oh, for the love of— If you wanna say something, get up there and say something, you weirdo!" Zidane groaned, giving Tidus a gentle whack on the rear, causing Tidus to trip and fall forward a couple of steps.

"Hey!" he yelled, turning around to glare at the boy. Zidane shrugged his shoulders innocently as Bartz and Cloud turned to stare at him as well.

"What's going on?" Bartz asked. Tidus tried his best to regain a calm expression as he turned to face the rest of the group.

"I... I just tripped," Tidus lied, rubbing the back of his head as he walked up to meet the others. "Well, let's go, my buddies!" he shouted, grinning as he threw an arm around both Bartz and Cloud.

They each cast him sidelong glances. Cloud was looking at him as if he were crazy, and Bartz was giving him a confused half-smile, but Tidus ignored them, just as he tried to ignore the sudden pounding in his chest. Here was Cloud right beside him. Here he was touching him. He wondered if Cloud was as nervous as he was right then, or if Cloud could hear his heart racing. He wondered if Cloud felt anything for him at all.


	4. Sour

**Chapter 4: Sour**

The sky soon turned from orange to deep violet, and the four warriors began to tire. Zidane and Bartz were taking up the rear now, and Tidus followed a few feet behind Cloud, sluggishly dragging his feet through the short grass. Tidus stopped in his tracks when he heard a sigh emerge from the man ahead.

"We should probably set up camp before it's completely dark," Cloud said, coming to a halt and analyzing the sky.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Tidus agreed. He was kind of thankful that Cloud had finally spoken. They had been silent for a while now, neither one of them quite knowing what to say while the other two men chatted up a storm behind them.

"Where should we set up?" Zidane asked. Cloud glanced around. A small pond lay to their left while more open field lay ahead. Cloud's eyes finally came to rest on a cluster of trees a few metres to their right.

"Maybe over there. It'd give us a bit of shelter," he answered, pointing to their destination.

"'Kay," Bartz joined in.

They followed Cloud over to the trees and set their gear and weapons down on the ground. Zidane let out a noisy yawn and raised his arms above his head. Bartz brushed himself off before taking a seat in the grass.

"Is anyone hungry?" he asked, turning his attention to his bag, which lay beside him.

"You bet, I am!" Tidus replied with excitement as he crouched down beside Bartz, peeking to see what kind of food was hiding in his knapsack.

"Bread?" Bartz offered, unfolding a cloth to reveal a loaf that was almost completely intact.

Though it went unnoticed by Bartz, Cloud saw the small wrinkle of Tidus' nose, indicating his displeasure. A smile quickly replaced that look, however; Tidus didn't want to look ungrateful, but Cloud could certainly understand his frustration. They had eaten enough bread to fill a flock of chocobos back when they had been travelling with Cecil and Firion. Nevertheless, neither Cloud nor Tidus was in a position to complain.

Each of the two men accepted a small portion of bread from Bartz, and began nibbling away at it. It was bland, but it did help to settle their growling stomachs. Bartz looked up from his snack to take in the sight of his tired companions. Tidus and Cloud looked like they'd been through the wringer; they were both a little pale, and their eyes looked like they wanted to droop closed.

"You guys look like you could use a good rest. Why don't you two use mine and Zidane's sleeping bags?"

"No, that's alright, Bartz. We'll be fine on the ground," Cloud replied, shaking his head. Tidus discreetly glanced up from his bread, hoping Cloud might change his mind about that.

"Don't be silly," Zidane said. "We don't mind. We have a tent."

"He's right," Bartz nodded. "It's not like we'd be sleeping on the ground."

Cloud cast a glance to his left to look at Tidus. Tidus gave him a quick nod, his mouth hidden behind his morsel of bread. Cloud turned his gaze back to Bartz once more.

"If you're sure you don't mind," he sighed.

"Not a bit," Bartz assured him.

"So, T?" Zidane spoke up between bites of bread. "Haven't talked to Yuna lately have, ya?"

"Yuna?" Tidus asked, raising a brow. His heart twinged anxiously, the familiar ache of their separation stirring within him. He swallowed hard, but managed an innocent smile.

"No, I haven't. Why?"

"Ran into her a few weeks back, but she was awful quiet. Didn't even mention you. Must've been a rough breakup, huh?" Zidane inquired, sounding a little too chipper.

"C'mon. Do we have to talk about that?" Tidus asked, forcing a weak chuckle.

"Just curious, man. Friends tell," Zidane replied, stuffing some more food into his mouth.

Tidus stared down at his half-eaten piece of bread, and bit his lip. He could feel Zidane's stare boring into him, making him feel ever so guilty for withholding information, and before he could stop himself, he found himself opening his mouth to speak.

"I guess... people change when they're apart for a while."

"How so?" Zidane tested.

"I don't know," Tidus replied, rubbing his arm, uncomfortably. "She acted differently, she dressed differently."

"Dressed differently?" Bartz asked.

Tidus hesitated, not exactly liking that he'd piqued another person's interest in such a personal affair. He was just thankful that Cloud didn't seem to be paying much attention, his eyes on the ground as he ate the remains of his bread.

"Yuna, she, uh... She wore a lot less," Tidus chuckled, timidly.

"Wait!" Zidane spoke up, shooting a hand up into the air to silence him. "So, she strips down, and you like her less? What the hell is wrong with you, T?"

"W-well, you know," Tidus stuttered, cheeks reddening. "The Yuna I knew before was just so soft-spoken, so innocent. I never pictured her turning into..." He trailed off, not knowing how to explain his feelings.

He rubbed his arm a little harder, feeling ashamed. Maybe he _was_ crazy for losing interest in Yuna, but he'd known from the moment he'd returned to Spira after his two years' sleep that she was different, that _things between them_ were different. Ever since then, Tidus had felt the distance between them growing wider and wider, to the point where he had to break things off. And once he'd developed feelings for Cloud, there was no turning back.

"Never mind," Tidus spoke up, shaking his head, and pushing forth a strained smile. "Guess... I was stupid for breaking up with her, huh? I don't know what I was thinking."

Zidane got to his feet and stretched his arms above his head, obviously growing weary of Tidus' ceaseless babbling. He gave a smirk.

"Well, unlike you, I'm easy to please if they dress to tease," Zidane grinned. He walked over to give Tidus a hard pat on the back before proceeding toward their pile of gear. He grabbed his and Bartz's tent from the assortment of bags, and headed a few feet away from the group to begin setting it up.

Tidus' gaze wandered to each of his remaining companions, warily. He opened his mouth a few times, but nothing came out. It took a full six attempts before he was able to form a sentence.

"That wasn't the only reason why Yuna and I—" Tidus started, but Bartz was quick to speak up.

"We know that, but do you think _he_ cares?" Bartz asked, nodding his head in Zidane's direction. He gave Tidus a gentle smile, and rose to his feet. Tidus watched as he strolled over to help Zidane with the tent, then his gaze fell toward the ground.

Tidus' hands entwined themselves, his fingers nervously knotted together. Tidus bit his lip again to try and hide the hurt. He hadn't expected Zidane to understand; he wondered why he'd agreed to divulge in the first place.

Tidus was startled when a gentle hand fell upon his shoulder. He turned his head slightly to see the Ex-SOLDIER behind him. He was surprised by Cloud's display of comfort, enough so that it distracted him from his embarrassment.

"Don't let what Zidane said bother you. People change. They grow apart. It happens all the time," Cloud told him, gently. Tidus was speechless; he wished his mouth would form a thank you, but his brain could only focus on Cloud's words.

Before Tidus could grow used to the feel of Cloud's touch, the man lifted his hand, and turned toward the supplies pile. Cloud gathered his friends' sleeping bags and got to work setting up for the night, while Tidus simply sat and watched. Tidus' shock lasted only a second or two, then a soft smile appeared on his face as his shoulder continued to give off a perpetual warmth.

* * *

Nightfall quickly arrived, and Tidus and Cloud said their good-nights to their friends as fast as they could, hoping to get in as many hours of sleep as possible. Tidus lay down and wriggled his way into the sleeping bag he'd borrowed from Zidane. He breathed in deeply, and stole a glance in Cloud's direction, just so he could memorize this moment. He thought back to the kind words that Cloud had spoken to him earlier, and yearned to close the distance between them. If he were just a few inches closer, he probably would have been able to rest his head on Cloud's shoulder.

"You comfortable?" Cloud asked, bringing Tidus out of his embarrassing thoughts.

"Yeah, fine," he replied, with a smile. His mind flickered back to the night before, down in the cold, wet canyon. "It sure beats last night's bed of rocks."

"That, it does," Cloud agreed, forcing a light chuckle. Tidus loved the sound of it, even though it _was_ strained.

"I kinda like sleeping under the stars anyway," Tidus smiled, placing his hands behind his head as he stared up at the sky above.

Memories threatened to fill Cloud's mind. Cloud wanted to smile, but part of what made him want to smile also made him hurt. He didn't want to think about the past. It was too painful. He shoved those memories as far away as they would go, and stared up at the sky along with his companion. He focused, trying hard to see the beauty that Tidus saw—the beauty _he_ used to see.

The dark sky was sprinkled with glimmering white dots, each giving off a different amount of light. Clearly, some burned brighter than others, but each held an element of beauty that Cloud couldn't help but admire.

"Sleeping outdoors _is_ sort of nice, isn't it?" Cloud eventually said.

"Yeah, once you get used to all the bugs and stuff," Tidus chuckled. Cloud hummed in agreement.

They lay there for several minutes, staring at the tiny lights above before Cloud felt his eyelids start to fall closed again. He yawned and rolled onto his side.

"Goodnight, Tidus," he said, closing his eyes. Tidus glanced over at him, feeling soothed by how relaxed Cloud looked in that moment.

"Goodnight, Cloud," he answered, a smile tugging once again at the corners of his mouth.

Tidus tried to settle, but within seconds, he felt his stomach growling. He put a hand over it, trying to mute the sound a little, but it just grumbled even more loudly a minute later. Tidus heard Cloud stifle an amused noise.

"You hungry?" Cloud asked.

"Unfortunately, yeah," Tidus sighed, removing his hand from his stomach. Instead, he flopped it over his forehead. "Guess I shouldn't have tossed the rest of my supper."

"You threw it out, huh? A little tired of bread?" Cloud asked.

" _Little_ would be an understatement," Tidus grinned.

"To be honest, I'm hungry, too," Cloud admitted. "All we have is Bartz's bread, though."

Tidus' hand flew back to his stomach, his face twisting into a look of disgust.

"And suddenly, I'm not hungry anymore," he mumbled. Cloud looked slightly amused, though it lasted only a moment.

"If you want, I can try fishing over there," Cloud suggested, nodding his head toward the pond on the left. Tidus lifted his head off the ground to glance at the pool of water. It was perfectly still, not a ripple to be seen, but Tidus hoped there might be more activity underneath the surface.

"Would you mind?" he asked, timidly.

"Not at all," Cloud assured him, sitting up and unzipping his sleeping bag. "Like I said, I'm hungry, too."

* * *

"Mm, good fish," Tidus smiled, leaning back on his elbows as he sat in front of the fire. The flames crackled as they rose into the air, but the sound wasn't nearly loud enough to wake Zidane and Bartz, something for which Tidus was grateful; he would never complain about having alone time with Cloud. In fact, the past hour or so had been incredible—the two of them trying to catch fish with nothing but their hands, weapons, and eventually a couple of makeshift spears. He was glad Zidane and Bartz had slept through the splashing water, Cloud's occasional curse word, and Tidus' nearly constant laughter.

"I can't tell you how happy I am to have eaten something besides bread!" Tidus beamed. Cloud felt his lips form an almost-smile.

"I'm glad you liked it. I wasn't quite sure how it would turn out since I didn't have the proper seasonings. I had to make due with what I could find nearby," Cloud said.

He shyly averted his gaze when he saw the look of gentle surprise Tidus was giving him. His embarrassment didn't go unnoticed by Tidus; in fact, Tidus thought it was quite adorable.

"You know a lot about cooking?" Tidus asked, a small, curious smile on his face.

"Not really," Cloud said, shaking his head. "My mom taught me some stuff, but... that was quite a while ago now."

"Well, I guess it paid off. That was delicious," Tidus grinned, sincerely.

"Thanks," Cloud replied.

Tidus settled into a peaceful silence, but Cloud felt abnormally warm. He couldn't deny that that little compliment had gone a long way. He knew it was simple, but it had touched something inside him, something he hadn't felt in a long time: he felt appreciated.

Tidus cast quick glances Cloud's way, hoping he wouldn't notice, but Cloud seemed to be lost in thought. Tidus hid a smile. It was hard not to smile when all he could think of was their time together. His brain replayed memories in his head, each one containing a special moment with Cloud. Eventually, his mind reached one of their last campfires alone together, the one where the little spark had started.

That little spark—that's all it took. A little flicker of light that told Tidus he felt something for this other man. Tidus could only hope that his spark would take hold of Cloud, too. He knew from experience that even tiny sparks had a tendency to grow.

* * *

Morning came much too early for everyone—especially Cloud. He awoke with a lump in his throat, and though he tried to put aside thoughts of his horrible night's sleep, it was difficult. He turned his head toward the boy beside him, envious of Tidus' ability to sleep soundly. Tidus' soft snores had accompanied Cloud as he'd drifted in and out of nightmares, something for which Cloud was thankful; the sounds of the real world had kept that ounce of distance between him and his vivid dreams, protecting his fragile emotions, even if only a little bit.

Despite the warriors' desires for more rest, they quickly got up, packed up their gear, and headed out once again, hoping that the day ahead might bring them closer to Firion and Cecil, or even more importantly, their crystals. Tidus stared ahead at Cloud and Bartz as he walked, and Zidane strolled lazily at his side.

"Feels like I hardly slept," Zidane groaned.

" _You_ feel like you hardly slept?" Tidus asked, incredulously.

"Yeah. What, were you up late or somethin'?" Zidane questioned. Tidus bit back a smile as memories of the night before danced happily in his brain.

"No, no. It's just that _you_ didn't spend a couple of days in a soggy old canyon. _I_ should be more tired than you," Tidus grinned, glad that he'd conjured up such a quick explanation.

"Well, I'm sleepy anyway. Hey, Bartz! Will you piggy-back me?" Zidane asked, running up to his friend and jumping onto Bartz's back without awaiting his permission. Bartz let out a surprised yell, which was followed by laughter as he somehow managed to keep himself standing with Zidane securely on his back. Zidane chuckled as Bartz adjusted him.

"Ready?" Bartz asked.

"Ready!" Zidane cheered, throwing a fist into the air. His other arm was wrapped tightly around Bartz's neck.

"Here we go," Bartz grinned, taking off at a run towards Cloud who was once again leading the way. Tidus stopped to watch them, and chuckled as they charged past their unsuspecting leader.

"I'm slipping!" Zidane shouted.

Within seconds, he toppled off sideways and fell to the ground, causing Bartz to tumble along with him. They lay in shock for a moment before they both burst out laughing. Tidus ran ahead to catch up, and joined in the hilarity as he watched the two rolling around in hysterics. He quickly shut up when he heard Cloud sigh beside him.

"I'm going on alone," the man uttered, causing Bartz and Zidane to cease their laughter. Tidus held his breath.

"What? Why?" Zidane asked, quickly pushing himself up off the ground and brushing himself off. Bartz followed his lead.

"It might be best to split up to look for the others. We're all good fighters. Besides, I doubt we're going to find our crystals in the same place," Cloud replied.

"What you mean is we're annoying you, right? Sorry, Cloud. We were just having a bit of fun," Bartz said, hanging his head low.

"Yeah, sorry, Cloud," Zidane said, solemnly. "We'll behave."

"It's not just that," Cloud said, his brain scrolling through possible excuses to rid himself of their company. After such a miserable night of unrest, the rambunctiousness of those two was too much to take.

"Travelling in a large group is time-consuming, and it makes us an easy target for enemies. The rest of you can stick together if you want, but I'm going on alone," Cloud announced.

He dropped the sleeping bag he'd borrowed from Bartz before turning away from the group. The three watched him take off, disappointed and a little confused by his sudden urge to leave. Bartz made a move to follow him, but Zidane put an arm out to stop him.

"We've annoyed him enough," Zidane told his friend, frowning as he glanced in Tidus' direction.

"Is it just me, or is he especially moody this morning?" Bartz asked, watching the blond who had gone off ahead.

"It's not just you," Tidus replied. He was glad someone else had noticed. His Cloud-radar was off the charts, after all, and couldn't be trusted.

"Why don't _you_ go with him, T?" Zidane asked, his eyes darting back to the figure in the distance. When Tidus didn't move, Zidane gave him a nudge with his elbow. Tidus gave him a worried glance, but Zidane winked at him, letting him know that this was his chance to talk to Cloud, though Zidane still couldn't fathom his reason why.

Tidus' heart pounded against his chest as he debated whether or not he should be the one to follow. Had Cloud wanted to escape the fun-loving Zidane and Bartz, or had he wanted to travel without Tidus, too? Tidus rocked back and forth nervously on the balls of his feet, but his thoughts of last night put him at ease. Cloud had been kind to him, and Cloud certainly hadn't seemed to mind his company. Maybe this _was_ his opportunity.

"Alright, I'll go," Tidus announced, finding his confidence. "Can't let him go off on his own. It's too dangerous."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Bartz asked. "I mean, you guys don't have any supplies or anything."

"Yeah, it'll be fine. We'll find a moogle or something," Tidus smiled.

"You'd better hurry. The guy sure knows how to make a quick exit," Zidane interjected, holding a hand above his eyes so that he could see Cloud disappearing into the brilliant sun. Tidus glanced behind him, shocked by how far Cloud had travelled in such a short time.

"Whoa!" he shouted, taking off at a run. "Cloud, wait up!"

"Bye!" Zidane called. "Good luck!"

Tidus proceeded toward Cloud, jogging in large strides so that Cloud wouldn't get too far ahead of him. His mind raced with possibilities of what he might say to Cloud to justify his following him, like _'Cecil and Firion will wonder what happened if you go back without me'_ and _'I don't want you to get hurt on your own_. _'_ His thoughts were interrupted when he saw a shimmering figure fly past Cloud.

"Cloud! Look out!" Tidus shouted, causing Cloud to look up and see the manikin in front of him. Just as he did, more started to emerge from the surrounding trees.

"We're a-coming!" Zidane called from behind. Tidus could hear his two companions running to help. Cloud tried not to panic when he counted and realized they were greatly outnumbered. Eight manikins surrounded them.

"Tidus, you take that one!" Cloud ordered, referring to a spell-caster up ahead.

"Right," Tidus agreed, charging toward his target. Cloud suddenly found himself regretting sending Tidus away when he realized the other seven manikins were now focusing on him. Cloud frowned and held his ground until one of the manikins came his way. Cloud cringed as he found himself face-to-face with a Sephiroth clone, the first Sephiroth manikin he'd seen. He tried not to let his loathing for this man hamper his judgement. Instead, he tried to focus on his strategy before attacking. After all, this wasn't the real Sephiroth. The real Sephiroth was probably waiting for him somewhere down the line, and this was the perfect opportunity to learn his weaknesses.

Cloud released a small groan when he felt another manikin to his right, its blade cutting through his right arm. He looked to see the Gabranth manikin that had caused the damage. Cloud cursed as he was knocked down by a blast of magic from a Kefka manikin. Yes, he was certainly surrounded.

Bartz and Tidus arrived only seconds later and began hacking away at the manikins around him, giving Cloud time to get back on his feet. They worked on ridding themselves of the manikins, too preoccupied with their own battles to think about what anyone else was doing. It wasn't until they heard Zidane's cry from behind that they realized their friend was in trouble.

"Zidane!" Bartz yelled, abandoning the partly wounded manikin he'd been fighting, and hurrying to Zidane's aid. Tidus and Cloud made quick work of the remaining manikins, and ran to catch up with Bartz and Zidane. By this time, Bartz had finished off the last two manikins and was kneeling next to Zidane. As Cloud and Tidus approached, they could see Zidane clutching his leg. The boy trembled as Bartz tried to remove his hands and take a look.

"C'mon, Zidane. I've gotta see it," Bartz said, gently.

"You're gonna use a damn potion on it, aren't you?" Zidane asked, his eyes scrunched up in pain.

"Depends on how bad it is. Let us see," Cloud said, kneeling down as well. Bartz managed to pry Zidane's now bloodied gloves away from the wound. Tidus bent over to get a better look. A blade had obviously penetrated Zidane's calf muscle, causing blood to pour out of the deep gash in his leg.

"We're gonna have to try and stop the bleeding," Bartz said, looking a little nauseous. Cloud was the first to notice his pale face.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Sometimes I don't do so well around blood," Bartz admitted, putting a hand to his head.

"I'll tend to this. Do you have a potion?" Cloud asked, moving into Bartz's spot and pressing his hands tightly to Zidane's leg, causing the younger man to curse. Bartz moved to search his bag. Tidus crouched down beside Cloud and Zidane, and placed a gentle hand on Zidane's shoulder.

"It'll be okay," Tidus promised.

"I'll keep looking, Cloud, but so far I can't find a potion. Could you check Zidane's bag?" Bartz called from behind.

"Okay, I'll be right there," Cloud answered. "Tidus, will you...?"

Tidus looked up at Cloud and realized what he was being asked to do.

"Oh, yeah. Of course," Tidus agreed, moving in a bit closer and hesitantly putting his hands over Cloud's.

Cloud slowly and carefully pulled his hands out from underneath Tidus', allowing Tidus to continue holding pressure to Zidane's leg. Cloud then proceeded to where Zidane's bag had been haphazardly tossed aside before the fight had begun.

Zidane let out a heavy breath and hung his head back. Tidus glanced up at him, looking apologetic.

"Sorry, bud. This'll be over soon," Tidus said.

"Easy for you to say. Your leg wasn't skewered," Zidane muttered, through clenched teeth.

"Here's the potion," Cloud said, returning to Zidane's side along with Bartz.

"I don't think I've stopped the bleeding yet," Tidus announced, turning to Cloud for further instruction.

"Maybe there's not enough pressure on it," Cloud said.

He knelt beside Tidus, raising his hands, then hesitating. He felt shy to do so, but he knew he needed to help if they wanted to stop the bleeding. Cloud bravely placed his hands over Tidus' and helped press on the wound.

"Geez, you guys. That hurts," Zidane grumbled.

"Sorry, but it has to be done," Cloud told him, earning a scowl from his injured companion. Tidus looked up to see Bartz collapsed on his back, his limbs stretched out in all directions.

"This is too much for me," Bartz said, breathing deeply.

"Don't pass out on us," Tidus teased.

"I'll try not to," Bartz replied, with a half-smile.

Minutes passed, and both Tidus' and Cloud's embarrassment grew, though neither noticed the other was feeling the same way. Finally, Cloud released his grip and instructed Tidus to carefully do the same. The bleeding had stopped.

"Where did I put the potion?" Cloud asked. Tidus reached behind him and grabbed the vial.

"Right here," he replied, handing it to his companion.

"This will probably sting," Cloud informed Zidane as he began pouring the bottle's contents onto the cut.

"Gah! _Probably_?!" Zidane yelled. "News flash, fella! It _does_ sting!"

Cloud ignored Zidane as he continued to pour out complaints, and instead watched as Bartz moved to look in his bag again.

"What are you looking for?" Cloud asked. Bartz turned around with the newly retrieved items in his hand.

"Bandages," he replied, returning to Cloud and Zidane.

"Oh, no, you don't! You can't torture me anymore," Zidane protested.

"Cool it, kiddo. We're just trying to help," Tidus cut in, ruffling Zidane's hair as Bartz wrapped the bandage around his leg.

"Kiddo?! I'm hardly any younger than you!"

"I think we're almost done here," Bartz said, with a weak smile, trying not to focus on the blood that threatened to seep through the freshly applied bandage.

"Can you walk?" Cloud asked, getting to his feet. Tidus offered Zidane a hand, which he reluctantly accepted when he was unable to push himself off the ground on his own. Zidane wobbled a bit as he stood. He tried to take a step, but felt his leg go limp.

"Ow!" he yelled, starting to fall, but Tidus caught him. Bartz got to his feet now, too, and proceeded to Zidane's side.

"You sure you can't walk? Try again," Bartz encouraged. Zidane shot him a dirty look, then huffed as he tried to take another step with Tidus' help.

"Ouch! No, there's no way!" he yelled.

"Okay. It's okay," Bartz said, gently, slipping Zidane's free arm around his neck to help hold him up.

"What do we do now?" Tidus asked. "Should we try and carry him?"

"I don't know. We'd probably be an easy target if we were travelling that slow," Cloud frowned, looking pensive.

"You and Tidus should go on ahead," Bartz suggested. "Zidane and I will set up camp and rest until he can move."

"I don't think we should leave you two when he's in this state," Cloud replied, shaking his head.

"Cloud's right. If a big group of manikins showed up like that again, you'd have to take them on by yourself, Bartz," Tidus added. Bartz looked thoughtful.

"That's true," he admitted.

"I hate to lose a days' worth of travel time, but I think letting Zidane rest is our best course of action right now," Cloud said. "Let's find a safe spot to set up camp, then we'll call it a day."

"Okay," Bartz reluctantly agreed, sorry for slowing Cloud down again.

* * *

Tidus and Bartz helped Zidane walk until Cloud found what he figured would be a safe enough place to settle down for a bit. They discovered a deep alcove in the side of a rocky mountain, accompanied by a large waterfall to its left. Once Cloud had explored the recess to make sure it was safe, he allowed the others to enter and set up their bedrolls inside. Tidus was thankful that the cave provided them enough shelter to avoid setting up a tent, and hoped the lack of work would put Cloud in a better mood.

Once Bartz had gotten Zidane situated comfortably on his bedroll, he looked up at Cloud and Tidus who were standing at the entrance of the alcove.

"What are you going to do now?" Bartz asked. Cloud pondered for a moment, looking up at the sky. It was still fairly early in the afternoon. They had lots of time before nightfall.

"I'm going to go take a look around. Clear the area of any possible threats," he replied.

Tidus' heart leapt as he dared to ask the question. "Can I go with you?"

Cloud turned to look at him, then gave him a nod.

"Sure," he answered. Tidus hid a smile.

"Will you be okay here?" Cloud asked, quieting his voice when he realized Zidane had already fallen asleep. Bartz glanced at the figure lying beside him and smiled.

"We'll be fine, but if you could find some food while you're out...?" Bartz started. Cloud nodded, understanding.

"I'll see what I can do," he replied. He led the way out of the alcove, getting his boots a little wet as he passed by the waterfall, and Tidus followed him closely.

They walked for a few minutes through the forest, keeping their eyes peeled for movement of any sort. Fortunately, they didn't see any, though Cloud wouldn't have minded a distraction. He hated the thought of wasting a whole day here. Perhaps it would be even longer than a day. He wasn't quite sure how he would cope if that were the case. His mind always seemed to wander to dark places when he wasn't keeping busy.

"Hey, Cloud?" Tidus asked, keeping his voice fairly low in case there were enemies about.

"Yeah?"

"That was really nice of you back there." Cloud paused in his tracks and turned to look at his companion.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you don't like staying in one spot for too long, but I think you did the right thing. Bartz and Zidane need our help right now. It was good of you not to leave them," Tidus said, smiling.

"Oh, that. It was nothing," Cloud replied, not quite knowing how to respond to the compliment.

"Now, come on. There might be something over this way," Cloud went on, waving for Tidus to follow him. Tidus watched with a smile before tagging along after the man he secretly adored.

* * *

Cloud and Tidus made it back to the alcove by nightfall. Cloud volunteered to take the first shift of night-watch and Bartz had promised to take over partway through, but Cloud was doubtful he actually would; he was out like a light, and Cloud couldn't be bothered to wake him.

The campsite was quiet except for the gently streaming waterfall and the soft breathing of Cloud's sleeping companions deeper within the alcove behind him. Cloud was tired, but he didn't want to sleep. Lately, sleep had been making him feel worse than if he hadn't rested at all. Cloud stared at the waterfall, his eyes blurring from fatigue.

"You fallin' asleep out here?" came Tidus' voice. Cloud's head popped up in surprise, not realizing how strong a hold his drowsiness had on him. He blinked a couple of times as Tidus sat down beside him.

"Sorry," Cloud said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Didn't think I'd be this tired."

"It's okay. I'll take over if you want," Tidus offered, with a smile.

"No, it's fine. I'd rather stay out here," Cloud replied.

"Works for me," Tidus grinned, pulling his knees up to his chest.

Silence set in, a silence they were used to. Much to Tidus' surprise, Cloud was the one to eventually break that silence.

"You couldn't sleep?" Cloud asked, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. He knew insomnia was odd for Tidus; Tidus was usually the first asleep, and the most difficult to wake. Tidus shook his head.

"Nah. Stuff on my mind, I guess," he replied, after a moment.

"I know what that's like," Cloud said, staring off into the distance.

Tidus' gaze darted to the side and lingered there as he tried to imagine what sort of thoughts usually filled his friend's head. It didn't take long for him to decide the question was one he couldn't answer without asking Cloud directly; there were just too many possibilities.

"What kind of stuff do _you_ think about?" Tidus asked, cautiously, knowing Cloud might not respond well to such an intrusive inquiry. Cloud turned his head, and their eyes met for a moment. Tidus was caught off guard when Cloud gave him a small smile.

"Too much. I wouldn't even know where to begin. What about you?" Cloud ventured.

Tidus sighed and turned his gaze back to the waterfall.

"I don't know," Tidus said, uneasily; he didn't want to go there. Thankfully, Cloud didn't coax him to explain further.

They were consumed by another period of silence, and Tidus could see Cloud starting to nod off again. Several times, Tidus almost spoke up, then debated just letting Cloud rest. Eventually, he decided Cloud didn't look comfortable enough to sleep in that position, with his back all slumped over against the rocks.

"Cloud, why don't you go in and get some sleep?" Tidus suggested, placing a gentle hand on Cloud's shoulder; he tried to ignore the way that touch made his pulse race. Cloud brought his head up again, and shook it to try and wake himself up.

"No, I'm okay," Cloud promised.

"Okay..." Tidus said, though he sounded uncertain.

"Hey, why don't we play a game to keep us awake?" he asked a moment later, enthusiasm popping into his voice.

"I don't know about—" Cloud started, but he was interrupted.

"Oh, come on. It'll be fun!" Tidus grinned. Cloud looked uneasy, but Tidus just shrugged it off as he tried to come up with a game. He rested a hand on his chin as he thought, and within seconds, an idea formed—a perfect idea.

"We'll ask each other questions, 'kay?" Tidus asked. He tried to ignore the look of hesitation on Cloud's face. This was a brilliant opportunity to learn more about Cloud, and by golly, he was going to take it.

"I guess so," Cloud finally replied, though he dreaded what he was about to do. He could only hope Tidus would bore quickly from his little game.

"Okay, I'll go first. Have you ever... eaten chocobo meat?" Tidus asked, and he could tell what the answer was going to be from the way Cloud turned up his nose.

"Of course not," Cloud replied, looking disgusted.

"Me neither," Tidus laughed. "Your turn."

Cloud eyed him for a moment, looking a little precarious, but Tidus gave him a nod, encouraging him to come up with a question. Cloud pondered for several seconds before opening his mouth.

"Have you ever... fought a Behemoth?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah. Man, those things are tough!" Tidus gave an exasperated sigh, and rubbed the back of his head.

"I agree."

"Okay. Have you ever made your parents so mad you got grounded?" Tidus asked, his hand forming a fist. Cloud gave a light chuckle.

"No, but it sounds like you have." Tidus gave a huff, then laughed.

"Lots of times," he smiled. It had never taken much to get on Jecht's nerves, and for some reason, getting in trouble had never really bothered Tidus. To be honest, sometimes Tidus had acted out of line just to get his parents' attention.

"My turn?" Cloud asked. "Have you ever run away from home?"

"Ooh, good one. But no, I haven't," Tidus replied. He paused a minute, eyeing Cloud with a smirk. "Wait. Have _you_?" he asked.

"Yeah," Cloud answered.

"Didn't see _that_ coming," Tidus admitted, with a grin. "What happened?"

"It was just time to leave," Cloud said. "Being at home didn't feel comfortable anymore."

"Oh," Tidus nodded slowly, taking in every word and locking the information away in his brain.

"Your turn," Cloud reminded him, when Tidus looked like he might want to ask more questions about the uncomfortable subject.

"Right. Hmm... Have you ever been in love?" Tidus asked, the words rolling casually off his tongue. He honestly didn't know how he'd kept so calm.

Tidus held his breath, hoping Cloud would reply in some way, just enough to give him a hint of what the answer would be. He watched as Cloud's mood immediately shifted. His head lowered, and his eyes focused on the ground.

"That... That was a long time ago," he eventually answered.

"Cloud, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—" Tidus started, his brows curving upward, apologetically, and his heart racing a mile a minute. He hated to think he'd hurt Cloud in any way.

"What about you?" Cloud cut in, wanting to move past the incident as quickly as possible. Tidus knew what he was trying to do, and he decided to go along with it. He had crossed a line, no matter how unintentional it had been, and he didn't want to upset his friend further, even if part of him wanted to plead for more answers. Tidus paused a moment, and sucked in a deep breath before replying.

"Yeah, I have been," he nodded, wanting so desperately to smooth over the tension that had set in between them. "Yuna. She was a summoner, and I helped her complete her pilgrimage, even though that was a lot more complicated than it sounds."

"What happened to her?" Cloud asked, trying to distract himself from his memories, the ones that were on the verge of rising up and swallowing him. It didn't occur to him that his own question could have been hurting Tidus just as much.

"Like I told Zidane, we grew apart. At the end of our journey, I kinda... disappeared for a while. These things called the fayth, they were sort of the reason for my existence in Yuna's world in the first place. I was a dream. The fayth's dream. After I disappeared, Yuna prayed to the fayth and begged them for my revival. When I came back, she was just... different," Tidus tried to explain. Cloud was drawn in by the distant sadness in his companion's eyes.

"Must have been tough," Cloud said. Tidus shrugged his shoulders.

"It was _really_ tough, but you have to move on, right?"

Cloud's muscles tensed at that statement, and Tidus immediately regretted his words. Tidus bit his lip for what seemed like the millionth time that day as Cloud averted his gaze. Their little game was over.

Cloud mulled over those words, those words that seemed to stab his heart with each beat. _Move on_ , Cloud repeated to himself. Sometimes that was easier said than done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And there's Chapter 4 for ya! I just want to point out the ages in this story: I chose to have Tidus come to Cosmos' world after the events of X-2, which I think would make him 19 (if not, he's still 19 in this story), and Cloud come to Cosmos' world at the end of his journey in FFVII, but he's still 21. Just thought I'd throw in that little bit of detail for you, readers! Please, feel free to leave me a nice review, and hope to see you back for Chapter 5!


	5. Rainfall

**Chapter 5: Rainfall**

Cloud rolled over, the fabric of the unzipped sleeping bag beneath him making noise as he moved, disturbing his slumber; Zidane and Bartz had graciously unzipped their two sleeping bags and spread them out to serve as blankets so everyone would have something to sleep on. The comfort of the decent bed, and the knowledge that his companions were by his side allowed Cloud to gain a better sleep than the night before, but he probably still could have used another hour or two to feel properly rested.

Bartz walked out of the morning sun and into the alcove, the sound of his footsteps rousing Cloud even further from his sleep. Cloud rolled over again, and furrowed his brows as his arm hit the empty space beside him. Even in his half-conscious state, he knew someone was missing. Blue eyes opened and confirmed that only two of his three companions were present. Zidane turned his head at the sound of Cloud's motion.

"Finally awake, sleepy head?" he teased.

"You slept longer than Tidus, and that's saying something!" Bartz laughed. Cloud blinked a couple of times and sat up, running a hand through his hair. He glanced at the empty space beside him.

"Where is Tidus?" Cloud asked.

"He said he was going to blow off some steam. Personally, I hope he comes back with breakfast," Zidane smiled.

Cloud didn't reply; he simply continued to stare at the empty spot on his sleeping bag. He still felt a little uneasy from his question session with Tidus the night before. Cloud had said very little, and yet, he felt he had revealed too much. Tidus certainly had a curious side, and it was starting to become a nuisance. Cloud didn't like questions. He had many things to hide, and Tidus had come dangerously close to uncovering them. So, why was it that _Tidus_ was the one blowing off steam when _Cloud_ was the one stressing?

Bartz must have seen the concern in Cloud's face, as he was the next to speak up.

"I'll go look for him," he offered. "He probably didn't go far."

With that, the brunet scurried out of the alcove with a smile. Cloud grew immediately uncomfortable as he was left alone with Zidane. Cloud wasn't good at filling up awkward silences with people he knew well, let alone with those he didn't.

"Chin up. Bartz'll be back in a jiffy," Zidane assured his quiet companion.

"Right," Cloud nodded.

"You had a rough go down in that canyon, huh? You still look like hell."

"Thanks," Cloud muttered, pushing himself to stand up. Irritated, he grabbed the sleeping bag off the ground and started to roll it up.

"Sorry, man. I didn't mean it like that. You just look like you could use some more rest, that's all," Zidane spoke up again. Cloud didn't reply. It was unfortunate that his stress was showing.

"So, you and Tidus have been travelling together for a while, huh? You good pals?" Zidane asked, desperate for some conversation that would make Cloud forget about his previous comment.

"I don't know if I'd say that," Cloud said, giving a fleeting glance in Zidane's direction.

"Well, he certainly worries about you. And from the look on your face, you worry about him, too," Zidane said, in a matter-of-fact manner. Cloud frowned.

"What look?" he tested, his patience waning a little. His façade must have been awfully weak these days what with the lack of sleep.

"You've had a knot between your brows ever since you woke up and realized that T wasn't here," Zidane explained, giving Cloud a nod to emphasize his point. Cloud wrinkled his nose.

"I didn't realize," Cloud admitted, monotonously. He swallowed hard. How long had it been since Cloud had actually, sincerely, and consciously, cared about someone? He couldn't say for sure. Ever since he had learned the truth about his muddled memories, caring had seemed to come at a price. It was easier—safer—not to feel anything.

"It's not a bad thing," Zidane tried to convince him when he saw the stoic—or maybe even frighted—look on Cloud's face. "It's good to have someone watching your back, especially in our risky line of work."

"Speaking of which, how's your leg?" Cloud asked, seizing whatever opportunity he could to change the subject.

"Huh? Haven't looked at it yet today. Feels fine. Doubt I'll be walking anytime soon, though," Zidane answered, obviously a little unimpressed at Cloud's smooth topic change.

Cloud could tell from the sudden tension in the air that he had annoyed Zidane. He was sort of used to people reacting that way to him; communication was not one of his strengths. It didn't make him feel any less guilty, though.

"I'm gonna go wash up," Cloud said, getting up from his spot and heading for the mouth of the alcove where the morning sun was still shining in.

"Fine," Zidane muttered, folding his arms. "Not like I'm going anywhere."

* * *

The sun was hot on Cloud's back, despite the dampness in the air around the alcove. He knelt at the base of the waterfall and dipped his hands in the water. He waited a moment as they cooled, then he splashed his face and arms, hoping to rid himself of some of yesterday's dirt. He flinched as his arm began to sting. He glanced down at yesterday's wound, now a thin red line, though he could tell from the redness and swelling around it that it was probably infected. He splashed a bit more water on the cut and hoped that would help clean it out at least a little bit.

"What'cha doing?" Tidus asked, from behind him. Cloud turned his head enough to see Bartz and Tidus approaching. At least Tidus _looked_ okay. Maybe he'd simply needed to clear his head.

"Just washing up," Cloud replied, pushing himself up off the ground and brushing a hand over his wounded arm, feeling a little embarrassed after handling himself so poorly in such a simple battle. To his relief, the others didn't notice the injury.

"Bartz, get in here!" came an angry shout from inside the alcove. The three standing outside turned their head in that direction. Bartz gave a sigh.

"The patient doesn't sound happy," he said quietly, as he entered the recess in the rocks. Cloud hesitantly looked up at Tidus. Their gazes met only for a second, and they gave each other a polite nod. Cloud could feel a new wave of uneasiness growing inside him, a tangible tension lingering from the night before.

"Hey, guys!" Bartz called out. The two didn't hesitate in entering the alcove.

Zidane still sat in the corner, now with Bartz kneeling at his side. The younger boy's pant-leg was rolled up to the knee, revealing what used to be a white bandage; clearly, it had bled through. Tidus' expression turned to one of concern.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Apparently, the bleeding won't stop," Zidane answered, his voice sounding a little shaky. Bartz put a hand on his shoulder, and glanced back at the others.

"Listen, this is going to sound crazy, but I need you guys to find a Malboro for me," Bartz said.

"What? I've hardly seen anything but manikins since we've come here!" came Tidus' expressive reply.

"Zidane and I encountered one out in the forest a few days back. The tips of its tentacles are supposed to be good for clotting the blood," Bartz explained.

"I don't think our odds of finding a Malboro are very good," Cloud frowned.

"Can you guys at least look? I don't know what else to do," Bartz begged, his brows creased with worry.

"Cloud?" Tidus asked, glancing in the man's direction for a response. Cloud closed his eyes for a long moment, then gave a sigh.

"Fine. But don't get your hopes up," he said, as he turned and left the alcove. Tidus gave his other two friends an encouraging smile before taking off after Cloud.

* * *

The woods were thick with fog, adding a damp smell to the air. Every few minutes, Tidus and Cloud would encounter a patch of mist and would get a little wet every time they had to go through it. It didn't take long for them to feel a little chilled, but they were determined to keep walking.

"Malboros, huh? They're such a pain," Tidus spoke up, his hands rising to rest behind his head.

"You had them back in your world?" Cloud asked, though he didn't much care.

"Sure did. You?" Tidus asked, sounding as perky as ever. He was doing his best to act normally, but he was monitoring himself closely, making sure to avoid any more conversations that would make Cloud uncomfortable—he'd spent the early hours of the morning trying to figure out how.

"Yeah," Cloud replied. "And one thing I learned is that weather like this attracts them."

They walked a few more steps and came to yet another sprinkling of mist. Cloud huffed, and proceeded through the pocket, small droplets of water making his skin and clothes just a little damper than they had been moments before. Tidus shivered as he watched Cloud move through the mist patch, just the sight of it making him chilly. With a deep breath, he gathered the energy he needed to run through the patch as quickly as he could. He shook his head when he got to the other side, sending small, wet speckles flying out of his damp hair.

"It's freezing out here," Tidus exclaimed, as he followed behind his fearless leader. Cloud didn't bother to look back at him.

"Try not to let it slow you down," he replied.

Tidus paused in his steps and watched as Cloud walked a few paces ahead of him. He couldn't tell if Cloud was still upset about the night before, or if something else was bothering him. Cloud was usually pretty detached, but something was a little off. Even Bartz had noticed it, but Tidus wondered if he had made things worse with his little questionnaire the night before. He jogged a few steps to catch up with Cloud again.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?" Tidus asked. Cloud still didn't meet his gaze. He seemed quite preoccupied with analyzing his surroundings, and trying to choose the correct path through the forest.

"If you can walk and talk at the same time," Cloud answered, without hesitation.

"Right," Tidus uttered, softly, hanging his head low. He followed Cloud as he chose a new direction, even though, according to Tidus, every tree in the forest was identical, and there was no clear indication of right or wrong turns.

"I want to apologize. About last night," Tidus said, somewhat solemnly, hoping Cloud would hear in his tone how truly sorry he was.

Cloud felt a tightness rise into his chest. He couldn't believe Tidus was bringing up the topic again after he had so obviously been made uncomfortable by his questions the night before. Why couldn't Tidus understand that there were some things that should be left alone? Tidus spoke on when he realized Cloud wasn't going to reply.

"I shouldn't have asked about... you know. I didn't realize it was so personal."

This time, Cloud turned to face him, and Tidus' expression was so sad and so sincere that Cloud couldn't help but want to accept his apology. Cloud absentmindedly placed a hand on Tidus' shoulder; had he thought about it, he probably would have backed down.

"It's okay. You couldn't have known," Cloud replied, causing Tidus to look up at him. A small smile returned to Tidus' tanned face and Cloud felt slight satisfaction in knowing that he had set at least one thing straight in his mixed-up life.

"Cloud, behind you!" Tidus shouted. His smile fell from his face and a look of fear replaced it. Cloud cautiously turned around and drew his sword. The Malboro towering over him looked like it was in a feisty mood.

* * *

"Really? This little thing'll stop the bleeding?" Tidus asked, poking at the small, green tentacle tip that lay in his palm. A translucent, purple fluid was seeping from the end where it had been removed from the defeated Malboro.

"Careful. It'll probably still sting if you get any of that venom on you," Cloud warned, casting a quick glance behind him to make sure Tidus was still following him.

"So, how's it supposed to help Zidane? Won't it hurt him?" Tidus asked. Cloud paused and turned to face Tidus. Tidus watched as Cloud pointed to a part on the tentacle.

"See that?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah," Tidus nodded.

"That suction cup is what's gonna clot the blood," Cloud explained, before turning and starting on his way again.

"Aha. So, that's how it's done. Sounds kinda gross," Tidus admitted, with a chuckle. He stopped walking when he bumped into Cloud's outstretched arm. He looked up to see that Cloud had come to a halt, and looked to be listening hard.

"Do you hear that?" Cloud asked. Tidus looked around, warily.

"No. What is it?"

"Thunder," Cloud stated. "If it starts raining, I doubt we'll make it back to the alcove tonight. It'll make the trek too slow."

"Ugh, you mean we'll have to spend the night cold and wet _again_?" Tidus sighed.

"Hopefully not, but I'm not ruling it out," Cloud replied. He waved a hand, coaxing Tidus to follow him again. Tidus looked up at the grey sky above them, and silently prayed to Yevon that it would not pour down on them.

* * *

Either Yevon couldn't be reached in this world, or Yevon just didn't care about such trivial matters. Either way, rain began to pour down in heavy drops, drenching both men even under the cover of the forest's tall trees. Tidus ran to keep up with Cloud, but even with their speed, they were still nowhere near the alcove. Cloud wasn't even sure which way the alcove was anymore, no thanks to the thick fog. Cloud finally gave up on proceeding forward, and Tidus hung his head back in frustration when he realized what they were going to have to do.

"I know you don't want to, but we don't have much of a choice," Cloud told him, almost having to shout over the loud rain.

"There's hardly any shelter!" Tidus reminded him. Cloud nodded.

"We'll have to make do. And make sure you keep that tentacle safe." Tidus nodded back and patted the tentacle in his pocket before charging off after Cloud who was headed for a nearby tree.

The older blond settled down on the ground, and forced himself to lie down on the sopping wet grass beneath him. Perhaps the tree above prevented _some_ of the raindrops from reaching Cloud's body, but Cloud was so drenched by this point, he could hardly tell.

"Come on, Tidus," Cloud beckoned. Tidus hesitated, but finally lowered himself to the ground and lay down beside Cloud. They stared at the sky above them for a moment, then rolled onto their sides when raindrops began to sting their eyes. Tidus stared at Cloud's back, and knew it was going to be a long night.

"Goodnight, Cloud," he said. There was a long pause, then a hesitant, "Goodnight." Neither could wait for morning.

* * *

_"It's so cold on the ground," Cloud complained, looking down at the man beside him. This man's appearance would certainly stand out in a crowd, even in a place like Shinra where most wore identical uniforms. He had something. Striking, spiky black hair. A scar in the shape of an x on his left cheek. A smile that was contagious. A heart that could draw anyone in, woman or man._

_The black-haired SOLDIER patted the blanket he'd laid out on the grass, encouraging Cloud to sit down with him._

" _Come on. You'll only be cold for a minute," he promised. Cloud reluctantly gave in and sat beside his partner, quickly feeling the man's arms wrap around him. Cloud smiled at the warmth._

" _Okay, so, you see that one?" the SOLDIER asked, pointing at one of the stars above them._

" _Yeah?"_

" _I name that one after my hometown, Gongaga, 'cause it's soooo far away from all the other stars," the man smiled._

" _Nibelheim could fit into that category, too,"Cloud laughed._

" _That's right! Forgot you're a country boy, too." The older man gave the blond's hair a good ruffle. "And let's see... That little circle of stars is what Angeal always called the 'Dumbapple constellation'," the SOLDIER explained, causing Cloud to chuckle._

" _I know. I always thought it was a little silly. Oh, but we haven't gotten to my favourite one yet."_

" _What's that?" Cloud asked._

" _Right there. I call it 'Cloud.'" The blond turned his attention to the other man, looking skeptical._

" _Zack, that's the moon," Cloud groaned._

" _I know, but it's bigger and brighter than all the other stars," Zack said, shooting his hands up into the air in excitement. When Cloud continued to stare at him with curious eyes, Zack gave a sigh. He needed another approach, some way that Cloud might better understand him. He smiled, and ran hand along Cloud's cheek. "It was the only one incredible enough to be named after you."_

_Cloud's mouth popped open in surprise, then he smiled, hoping the sky was dark enough to hide the blush that had suddenly flourished on his young face._

" _You're a goofball," Cloud laughed, giving Zack a playful punch in the arm. Zack released a hearty chuckle._

* * *

_Cloud wasn't quite sure how he had gotten his body to move, or how he had managed to lift that giant sword up with him. He stared at the lifeless body on the cold, hard stone. He wished he'd been able to warm Zack up. He'd tried lying up against him all night, holding him tight in his arms, trying to get some warmth back into him, but it hadn't worked. Death had taken away his warmth... for good._

_Cloud didn't want to walk away. Even with that smile on Zack's face, Cloud couldn't believe that his partner was comfortable. That cliff was so hard, and the smell of blood was still so strong. He wished there was something, anything he could do to make Zack—or Zack's body—more comfortable as he waited for the Lifestream to accept him, but there was nothing else he could do. He knew he had to leave Zack as he was. If he didn't get out of here soon, Shinra would find him, and Zack's efforts would go to waste. He couldn't let that happen._

_Cloud turned slowly, finding it hard to even_ look _away, let alone_ walk _away. Finally, he managed to tear his eyes away from his beloved partner, and stood with his back to him. He paused for a long moment, trying to come up with something to say to him. 'Goodbye' sounded too sad. 'Farewell' sounded too permanent. He thought back to all those nights they had spent together. Whether they had been parting for the night, or lying down to sleep, they had always said the same thing. Cloud mustered up all the courage he could and hoped his voice wouldn't fail him._

" _Goodnight... Zack," he whispered. Then he walked off, dragging the precious Buster sword behind him._

* * *

"Cloud."

Cloud groaned, throwing his arm up over his eyes. Tidus sighed before repeating his name and shaking him gently. Cloud opened his tired eyes, and was surprised when they focused on Tidus.

"Where am I?" Cloud asked. Tidus hesitated for a moment, surprised by Cloud's sudden disorientation.

"In... the woods? The rainy woods from hell? Remember?" Tidus answered, with a half smile, hoping to jog Cloud's memory.

"Oh. Right," Cloud sighed, sitting up. He glanced up at the morning sun, trying to determine the time of day based on its position. Obviously, the storm had passed, but Cloud hadn't been aware of it ending. He had fallen into a much deeper sleep than he would have liked.

"It's probably about ten o'clock. We lost quite a few hours of travel time. We'll have to try to make up for it," the elder blond said, quickly getting himself up off the ground, his wet clothes sticking to him.

"Are you okay?" Tidus asked, watching Cloud with a look of concern.

"Yeah. Why?" Cloud asked, adjusting the sword on his back.

"That's two days in a row now. You hardly ever sleep later than I do," Tidus said, glancing at the sun, then back down. "Especially _this_ late. And you were—"

"I was just tired," Cloud replied, simply. Tidus heaved a sigh, and tried not to worry too much.

"Let's move," Cloud said, taking up the lead once more.

Tidus watched as he started to walk away. He held his breath, hoping that might stop him from asking the question that rose to the tip of his tongue. He almost knew Cloud wouldn't react well, but he had to know. He couldn't stop mulling over what Cloud had repeated over and over again in his sleep.

"Who's Zack?" Tidus asked, biting his lip once the words were out. Cloud felt like he'd been kicked in the gut.

He halted immediately, and turned his head only slightly. Tidus wasn't even sure whether Cloud could see him through the corner of his eye or not.

Tidus waited for an answer. He was met with a long silence, until Cloud finally continued on his way, not saying a word, a frigidness forming in his heart. Tidus clenched his fists, and cursed his curious side for always having to rise to the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, there you have it. Chapter 5. A bit of FFVII Crisis Core thrown in there, for those of you who aren't familiar with it. It's an incredible game! Play it, if you haven't already! Poor Tidus. He has a hard time keeping his mouth shut, even when his intentions are good in the long run. Anyway, I could ramble on all day, but I'll spare you. Hope you enjoyed! Please, review if you have the time:)


	6. Caught

**Chapter 6: Caught**

Tidus stayed quiet as they travelled, regretting having brought up the subject of 'Zack'... whoever he was. Cloud hadn't said a word ever since, and although Tidus knew it was normal for Cloud to be silent for long periods of time, he was almost positive that Cloud was giving him a special dose of _super_ -silent-treatment. Tidus wanted to apologize—he must have opened and closed his mouth a hundred times—but he didn't want to bring up the topic again to do so. Instead, he kept a smile on his face and kept trekking along, hoping that things would smooth over if he remained in good spirits.

Cloud could hear Tidus' footsteps behind him, and he tried his very hardest to keep several steps ahead, just so Tidus couldn't see his face. Cloud couldn't have felt more stupid, or more embarrassed, or more distraught. He had dreamed of Zack again, and apparently, this time, he had uttered his name in his sleep. He didn't want to know how many times that sweet name had passed through his lips, or how loudly he had called for him. He couldn't bear to imagine the ideas Tidus might be coming up with, ideas of what sort of relationship he and Zack had had.

Cloud put a hand to his stomach, suddenly feeling like he wanted to throw up; Cloud couldn't think of Zack at all without feeling like his insides were being torn out.

"Hey, you look awfully down, kupo!" came a high-pitched voice. Tidus and Cloud looked up from the ground, and glanced around wildly for the source. Suddenly, a small moogle with a scepter emerged from the trees.

"Oh!" Tidus remarked, as the little guy flew towards him, his red bobble bouncing as he travelled. Tidus poked him in the stomach, making him squeal a loud 'kupo' before he took off towards Cloud and hovered in the air in front of him, purple wings flapping in a blur.

"Did you lose your way, kupo?" the moogle asked.

Tidus came up to stand beside Cloud so he could get a better look at the creature. He cocked his head to the side and smiled, watching the little white monster intently. This was only the second moogle he'd ever seen; they were mostly just myths in Spira, and he hadn't even known about their existence while living in Zanarkand.

"Actually, we could use a little help. Did you see a waterfall in your travels?" Cloud asked. The moogle spun around in the air a few of times, then stopped and pointed his wand in between a couple of trees.

"That way, kupo," the creature answered.

"Thanks," Cloud said, with a nod. Tidus honestly didn't know how Cloud could look at that thing and not smile, but somehow he was managing.

"Do you need supplies, kupo?"

"Actually, we do," Tidus spoke up. "We left our stuff with our friends, and who knows when we'll see them again."

Cloud started digging in his pockets, hoping he had stuffed something useful in them somewhere along the way, but withdrew only ten gil and the potion from a few days ago. He heaved a sigh, and turned his attention toward Tidus. The younger man immediately reached into his own pockets, but only the Malboro tentacle lay in his palm when he revealed his hands again.

"No gil here," he sighed.

"Oh, but you defeated the Malboro, kupo! That calls for a reward, kupo!" The moogle twirled around in the air again, waving his scepter, and Tidus and Cloud jumped back a little when two bedrolls, two item bags, and a potion materialized in a neat pile on the ground.

"So cool!" Tidus shouted excitedly, a grin on his face. Cloud knelt down to examine the objects that had just appeared, and confirmed that they were, in fact, real. He rose to his feet again and gave the moogle a nod.

"Thank you," he said.

"No problem, kupo!" the moogle smiled, before flying out of sight.

"Wait! What can we buy for ten gil?" Tidus called out, standing on his toes, as if that would make his voice project farther. When there was no response, nor sign of the creature returning, Tidus returned his weight to his heels and sighed.

"It was a long shot anyway," he shrugged, giving Cloud a small smile.

"Come on," Cloud encouraged, kneeling down to gather up his newly acquired gear. He slung the straps over his shoulders and grabbed the potion off the ground, tucking it into his pocket as he stood. Tidus strapped on his own bedroll, stuffed his empty item bag into his pocket, and looked to Cloud for instruction.

"The moogle said the waterfall was that way, right?" Cloud asked.

"Uh-huh," Tidus answered, with a nod.

"Then let's go."

Tidus knew Cloud was still avoiding conversation as much as he could, and maybe Tidus deserved to be ignored. Maybe he had been prying into Cloud's affairs a little too much lately. He had to keep reminding himself that they had only met a few months ago. To Cloud, they weren't much more than acquaintances yet, but to Tidus, they were _friends_ ; that made it all the more devastating to have Cloud ignore him. Tidus knew he wouldn't feel right again until he fixed things between them. He just wished he knew how.

* * *

Bartz was lying on his back when the men entered the alcove. Zidane sat in the corner with a smirk on his face. He stared up at Tidus and Cloud, watching in amusement as their expressions turned to those of confusion.

"Poor Bartz got a little woozy," Zidane snickered.

"I should have known I couldn't handle all that blood," Bartz spoke up, an arm draped over his eyes. Tidus let out a burst of laughter, his hands falling onto his knees as he doubled over in hysterics.

"Thanks, Tidus," Bartz muttered. "Thanks a lot."

"Sorry," Tidus chuckled, panting to get himself under control. Cloud took a few steps forward and knelt down beside Zidane, analyzing the reddened bandages, then he met Zidane's gaze.

"We got the Malboro tentacle," he announced.

"Oh, really? Great!" Bartz exclaimed, sitting up.

"Yeah. Great," Zidane groaned.

"Tidus?" Cloud asked. Tidus nodded and stepped forward, crouching next to Cloud and Zidane. Cloud began to unwrap the bandages on Zidane's leg. He could feel the boy grow tense beneath his touch.

"Tidus, be ready with the tentacle, okay?" Cloud asked.

"'Kay," Tidus nodded, pulling the tentacle out of his pocket. Cloud pulled off the last of the bandages, causing the wound to bleed freely again.

"Okay, now," Cloud calmly instructed. Tidus pressed the tentacle to the gash in Zidane's calf, causing Zidane to growl.

"That stings!"

"There could still be some venom in the tentacle," Cloud explained. "Don't worry, though. It should only hurt for a minute. You'll be okay."

Tidus cast a subtle glance in Cloud's direction. Moments like that, when Cloud spoke so softly and calmly, made him see Cloud in that light that no one else seemed to see. Cloud _did_ care about people; Tidus could hear it in his voice, detect it in his eyes. He wondered why no one else could see Cloud's heart the way he could. Maybe he was crazy.

"Does it feel okay, Zidane?" Bartz asked from his position a few feet away; no way was he getting close enough to see.

"Kinda sore. You get used to it after a minute, though," Zidane answered.

"Good," Bartz said, managing a weak smile.

The group fell silent as they waited for the tentacle to work its magic. Tidus and Cloud took turns holding the tentacle in place, and Zidane was surprisingly patient with the procedure. Finally, Cloud cautiously lifted the tentacle off a small area of the wound, and to his relief, the bleeding had stopped.

"You were right, Bartz. It worked," Cloud said, removing the tentacle completely and setting it aside. With a satisfied expression, he began wrapping the clotted wound again with some clean bandages out of Zidane's bag.

"I'm so glad," Bartz smiled. Zidane stretched his arms above his head and let out a sigh of relief.

"Man, it's good to have that over with," he said.

"I can imagine," Tidus replied, with a light chuckle.

"There you go," Cloud uttered softly, finishing with the bandages.

"Thanks, Cloud," Zidane smiled, then his face fell a little. "Hey, you're hurt, too," he said, eyeing Cloud's arm. Cloud's jaw dropped a little, and he tried to hide his injury with his hand.

"It's fine. Just a scratch," Cloud lied.

"Looks like more than a scratch," Zidane frowned.

"Let me see," Tidus insisted, his heart leaping into his throat as he felt himself reacting on impulse. Before he could tell his brain to stop, he was placing a gentle hand on Cloud's shoulder.

Cloud fidgeted under his touch, and Cloud could tell in that instant that Tidus was offended; the look on his face spoke volumes. Cloud quietly apologized and allowed Tidus to take a look at the cut. The thin slice was surrounded by red, puffy skin, and Tidus had seen enough injuries to know this didn't look like it was healing properly.

"It looks a little infected. I could—er... Maybe _someone_ should clean it up for you," Tidus corrected himself. He knew he should keep his distance, and give Cloud time to recover from his earlier intrusion, even though he would have been more than happy to take on the role of medic himself.

"It'll be fine," Cloud insisted.

"It does look pretty bad, Cloud," Zidane cut in.

"Yeah. And I knew this guy who lost his whole arm because of an infection," Tidus said, quickly, grasping at whatever straws he could to get Cloud to take proper care of himself.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tidus saw Zidane throw his arms up in the air to question his odd little story, but Tidus simply held his breath as he awaited Cloud's response. Cloud was staring at him—hard, incredulously. Tidus fidgeted under his stern gaze.

"You made that up, didn't you?" Cloud tested.

"I, uh..." Tidus started, but he gave up his little fib quickly, and let out a sigh instead. "You know me so well."

His fingers nervously knotted together. He wasn't used to Cloud picking up on his quirks so easily.

"Okay, I didn't actually _know_ a guy, but that kinda thing happens. Infection's a nasty thing, you know? You should take it seriously."

Zidane cleared his throat loudly, bringing Tidus out of his own little world with Cloud. Tidus held his breath again, realizing he had been talking for too long. He let out a nervous chuckle and looked to the brunet man.

"Bartz, you want to bandage this up for him?" Tidus asked. He saw Zidane give him an urgent look out of the corner of his eye, like he couldn't believe he was giving up an opportunity to talk to Cloud, after he'd expressed such an interest in getting to know him better.

"Are you making fun of me? No, thanks. No blood," Bartz responded, shaking his head like a madman.

"Zidane?" Tidus asked, sounding a little desperate as his eyes shot toward the boy in the corner.

"I ain't moving. _You_ should wash it out in the waterfall, T. Here's some bandages," Zidane said, tossing his bag towards Tidus. "Knock yourself out, buddy," he grinned, as Tidus just barely caught the backpack. Tidus gave him a glare, then turned to leave the alcove.

"C'mon, Cloud," he coaxed. Cloud was reluctant, glancing at his remaining companions in hopes that they might give him a way out of the awkward situation, but they only sat in silence, and Cloud felt he had no choice but to follow his chipper companion.

* * *

The water pooling at the bottom of the waterfall was cool to the touch. Tidus tore off a small piece of the bandage Zidane had given him and soaked it. Now, he held it to Cloud's arm, and tried to ignore the fact that Cloud was hating every second of this.

Despite Cloud's embarrassment, he allowed Tidus to continue. The cold water was soothing on the hot and inflamed wound. Every few minutes, Tidus would wet the bandage again and reapply it to the injury, easing Cloud's pain a little more each time. Once Tidus felt confident that he had thoroughly cleaned out the cut, he asked Cloud for the half-used potion from a few days ago, and poured a little on it.

"Zidane was right. This does sting a little," Cloud said, his closed eyes emphasizing his slight discomfort.

"Sorry," Tidus responded, softly.

"It's okay."

Silence struck as they waited for the potion to work. Tidus knew this might be his only chance for a while to be alone with Cloud. Since the opportunity was here, he decided he should use it to try and get back in Cloud's good graces.

"Cloud?" Tidus spoke up. Cloud looked up at him, and he could tell what he wanted to say from his expression.

"Just let it go, Tidus," Cloud replied. He closed his eyes again, and Tidus didn't know whether it was caused by the pain in his arm, or if he was trying to avoid further conversation.

"I just have to say I'm sorry. What you said in your sleep... It was none of my business. I shouldn't have asked about it," Tidus confessed. He could feel himself shrinking down, as if he were expecting Cloud to scold him or something.

"Forget about it," Cloud insisted. Tidus looked up at him. He still sat with his eyes closed, but he didn't look angry. Maybe a little perturbed, but not angry.

"Okay," Tidus said, in a small voice. He wasn't about to push his luck.

Once the potion had taken its effect, Tidus rooted in Zidane's bag for more bandages. He took them in his hands, ready to tackle the next stage. He hesitated when he saw how uncomfortable Cloud still looked.

"Do you want to do it?" he asked, offering the bandage to Cloud.

"Yeah, I can do it," Cloud nodded, looking slightly relieved as he accepted the cloth from his companion. Tidus watched as Cloud tucked one end of the bandage into his mouth, and tried to tighten the cloth around his arm using his free hand.

"Can you get that?" Cloud asked, somewhat timidly when the cloth fell from between his teeth.

"Sure," Tidus obliged, his hands capturing the free end of the cloth. "I would have done it, but you just seemed sort of uncomfortable, so I..." Tidus trailed off. He was talking so fast, he was shocked he hadn't stumbled over his words.

"That's my fault," Cloud said, shaking his head. "Guess I can be a little stubborn sometimes." Tidus wasn't quite sure what to say next, so he simply flashed a shy smile and offered Cloud the bandage once more.

"Do you want to finish it, or will I?"

"You, if you don't mind," Cloud replied.

"Not at all," Tidus smiled.

Tidus took a deep breath to relax himself as he began wrapping the bandage properly around Cloud's arm. Cloud watched as he worked, and focused on keeping himself calm. He knew there was no reason to be at unease—Tidus was one of the most easygoing people Cloud had ever known—but being in the presence of others always seemed to have that effect on him regardless. Ever since he'd lost… No, he didn't want to go there.

Cloud brought his head up, breaking out of his thoughts. He found himself staring at Tidus' boyish face—so innocent, so kind. He remained still as he felt his temperature increase; their faces were much too close. He hoped Tidus wouldn't notice. Unfortunately, for Cloud, he did. Just as Tidus went to pull away, their eyes met... and lingered. Tidus' head fell to the side, his brows twitching a little, silently questioning the look they were sharing.

Cloud was the first to turn his head the other way, feeling sure that Tidus had just discovered his not-so-straight sexuality. Tidus cleared his throat and looked up at the sky. His heart was pounding hard. And was it him, or had Cloud's cheeks looked unusually pink?

Neither of them had enough time to try and analyze the situation further as they heard something off in the distance. Both turned in the direction of the sound and got themselves into battle stance, though they had regretfully left their weapons inside the alcove. They were still, silent, just waiting for someone or something to approach.

"Hey, Yuna! Looks like we found some company!" Laguna shouted, as he and the beautiful brunette strolled out from within the trees.

* * *

"Well, I'll tell ya, I sure am excited to find some more guys from team Cosmos!" Laguna cheered as he took a large bite out of his—as he called it—'chicken' wing. No one had asked what kind of meat Laguna had actually presented them with. They were all too hungry to risk losing their appetite, and eating meat, no matter what kind, was a privilege they didn't want to throw away.

"We're glad, too," Zidane smiled, from his spot around the campfire. With Cloud's help, Laguna had gotten Zidane situated near the fire, his leg resting comfortably on a small, rounded rock. Bartz sat beside him, keeping a close eye on him as they ate their supper.

Tidus sat across from Yuna. His stomach turned every time his eyes flickered up and met with hers. The last time they had been together, things had ended so badly. Yuna had been devastated, and Tidus had been left with this nagging feeling, like he had done something wrong. He just didn't understand why it felt so wrong when all he had done was be honest with her.

"I take it things have been a little rough around here. I see bandages on half of ya," Laguna teased.

"Two out of four, yeah," Bartz replied, with a chuckle. "We could be better."

"So, Laguna. How did you end up out here?" Cloud asked, taking a momentary break from eating his sketchy meat.

"Funny story. We were tracking a bunch of munchkins when all of a sudden, we heard this waterfall. So, Yuna, here, thought she'd like to check it out. That's when we found you lot," Laguna explained, enthusiasm in his voice, as usual.

"You mean _manikins_? Not _munchkins_?" Bartz laughed.

"Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah," Laguna nodded.

"Did you catch up with the manikins?" Cloud asked.

"Sorry, kiddo. They're probably still nearby," Laguna answered. He smirked a little when he saw Cloud make a face at that little nickname.

Tidus looked up again to see Yuna's Al Bhed eyes staring back at him. Finally, he nodded his head toward the trees behind him, beckoning her to follow him as he got up and headed for the forest. Yuna stood a moment later, drawing all eyes toward her.

"Excuse me a moment," she said, politely, before making her way into the woods. Everyone watched the two walk off, and returned to their meal.

Cloud concluded that this must be the Yuna that Tidus had been talking about before. He couldn't imagine what they might be talking about, but if there was a possibility of them patching things up, then he hoped they could make it happen. Despite their differences, Cloud couldn't stand the thought of a heartbroken Tidus. It surprised Cloud that he still felt that way after all the tension and awkward conversations that had occurred between them, but sometimes that smile of Tidus' was the one thing that brightened up Cloud's dreary days in this foreign world.

* * *

The forest was quiet except for the chirping of crickets, making Tidus feel confident that he and Yuna were alone. He could hear her quiet footsteps behind him, but he didn't turn around until he felt they were deep enough into the woods to have a private conversation. Finally, he stopped and faced her. Her blue and green eyes shimmered in the moonlight, wordlessly begging him to speak. It took Tidus a moment to find his voice, but when he did speak, he almost wished he hadn't.

"Yuna, I'm sorry about... you know. The last time we were together, I know I hurt you," he said, his voice solemn, and his eyes focused on the ground. The girl stared at him for a long moment, then folded her hands in front of her.

"Do you... still feel that way?" she asked. Tidus looked up at her, shocked that she had asked such a thing. He didn't want to have to break her heart all over again.

She certainly looked different than the last time he had seen her. When Tidus had awoken from his sleep at the bottom of the ocean, and had met up with Yuna in Besaid, she had seemed like an entirely different person. At first, he had been so overwhelmed by being revived by the fayth, and coming home to see his friends again, he had just embraced this new Yuna before him: Yuna the sphere hunter.

But as time went on, and Tidus got to know this new Yuna, he realized that it was the old Yuna—the gentle, innocent Yuna—that had really taken hold of his heart. It was Yuna the summoner who he had fought alongside, who he had protected, who he had loved with all of his being. Though this new Yuna had many of the same qualities, she just didn't touch that place inside of him that had made him feel like they were meant for each other.

Now, she stood before him in her old summoning clothes, and Tidus felt more confused about her than he ever had. Maybe she could be the same Yuna from two years ago. Maybe she _wanted_ to be that girl again, but did it really matter anymore? Was it Yuna that Tidus was yearning for right now?

When he thought about that, everything became painfully clear. Getting closer to Cloud felt like something he had to do, and until he could sort things out with him, and figure out if there was even a possibility of Cloud reciprocating his feelings, he couldn't be with Yuna. He needed to obtain Cloud's utmost trust. He needed to be free of personal ties. And quite honestly, he wasn't sure how in love with Yuna he was anymore. He couldn't lie to her, and he certainly couldn't lie to himself.

"I do. I'm sorry," he told her. She turned her back to him and took a few steps away.

"There's someone else, isn't there?" she asked, tilting her head back to stare at the starry sky.

Tidus watched her. She was so still, like she thought any movement might affect his answer. He didn't want to reply to her question. After all, back when they had broken up, there hadn't been anyone else at all.

"Even if there was, you and I are different people now. We've grown up, and we've chosen some different paths for ourselves," Tidus tried to explain. He walked forward until he reached her, and he touched her pale shoulder.

"Yuna, you've got to believe me when I say I love you, but this... This isn't going to work out," he said. He didn't know how he could tell with her back to him, but he knew she was crying. There were probably tears running down her cheeks as he spoke.

"So, that's it, then," she replied, softly, her voice effectively hiding her tears. Tidus didn't know what else to say. Instead, he brushed some hair away from the side of her face, and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

"I won't get in the way," she said. "I want you to be happy."

She turned to face her beloved Tidus, and raised a hand to brush away a tear just under her eye. Tidus' heart lurched a little, seeing her like that, but he stood by his answer.

"Goodbye, Tidus."

Yuna offered him a small smile, then turned away once more, heading back to the others. Tidus stood there for a moment, wanting to say more, but couldn't to think of anything worthwhile. He eventually followed after her, keeping a few steps behind her all the way.

* * *

By the time they got back, Laguna and Bartz were working on setting up Laguna's tent near the waterfall, and Cloud was helping Zidane back into the alcove. Laguna eyed Yuna carefully as she emerged from the woods. The man dropped the tent pole he was working with and rushed over to meet the girl.

"What's with the misty eyes?" Laguna asked her, his voice rather quiet for once. She shook her head.

"I'd rather not talk about it," she replied, forcing a small smile.

"Well, if you change your mind, you know I'm here to listen," the man reassured her. Tidus walked out of the woods a moment later, and Laguna refrained from confronting him, knowing that some things were better left alone.

"Need any help?" Tidus asked, approaching the men working on the tent.

"I think we're okay. Cloud might want a hand getting Zidane settled in there, though," Bartz said, nodding in the direction of the alcove as he fiddled with the tent.

Tidus nodded, and walked into the alcove to find Cloud and Zidane; they had hardly made it past the entrance. The boy's arm was draped around Cloud's neck as Cloud helped him limp toward his corner of the cave. Tidus rushed to Zidane's other side to help support him.

"Thanks," Cloud uttered. Tidus ignored the worried look Zidane was suddenly giving him as he helped him walk. He was sure Zidane would want to hear all about his talk with Yuna, but he wasn't ready to disclose that information. It hurt too much.

"Whew," Zidane sighed, as the men lowered him to his sleeping bag. "That's enough movement for one day."

"Good, 'cause we're all ready for bed, here," Bartz announced, as he entered the alcove. The others followed behind him.

"Yuna and I are gonna turn in, if that's cool," Laguna smiled.

"That's fine," Cloud replied. "I'll take night-watch, if no one minds."

"No one _minds_ , but you don't have to stay up by yourself. I'll help," Bartz volunteered. Tidus wouldn't object under the circumstances. After their last night-watch together, he figured it might be best if he and Cloud didn't make a habit of it.

"Fine," Cloud answered.

"Well, g'night, all," Laguna grinned, putting a gentle hand on Yuna's back and helping her out of the alcove. Cloud and Bartz said their goodnights to Zidane and Tidus, then made their way to the mouth of the alcove and sat down.

Cloud was relieved to be on night-watch again. The last thing he wanted was to get caught talking in his sleep again. He had been dreaming of Zack more frequently lately, turning his mood into what he knew was even more touchy than usual. The safest thing to do was to busy his thoughts with other things. He was sure that if he were idle for too long, Zack would fill his thoughts, and when that happened, Cloud started losing all desire to fight, to move, to even speak.

He couldn't say what had spurred on the recurring dreams of his deceased partner, but they had been disturbing his sleep for several nights now. The dreams he'd had the night before, however, when he and Tidus had slept out in the rain, had been the most vivid. Cloud wasn't even sure he could call them dreams. They were more like memories—re-enactments of events that had actually taken place. He felt like he had actually been there with Zack, under those stars with Zack's warm arms around him. In a way, the dream had been comforting, but the dream that had followed had killed any lingering warmth, and Cloud had instead been greeted with a cold reality that he just wasn't ready for. Seeing Zack's body lay frozen on the blood-smeared cliff... Cloud couldn't bear to think of it again.

He shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts, half-afraid he might even doze off and start dreaming where he sat. Bartz, still sitting beside him, glanced over at the sudden movement.

"You okay?" he asked, cocking his head to the side to get a better look at his obviously perturbed friend.

"Yeah. Just a bit tired, I guess," Cloud replied, running a hand through his spikes to try and make himself more alert.

"I can take over if you want to sleep," Bartz offered.

"No," Cloud said, quickly. "That's not necessary." Silence cut into their conversation only for a moment before Bartz could no longer suppress his worries.

"Has something been bothering you lately?" Bartz queried.

"No."

A knot quickly formed in Cloud's stomach. He didn't want to lie, but he figured it was better than explaining his dreams about Zack, even if Bartz had been understanding about their relationship in the past. Not long after they had met, Cloud had unintentionally alluded to his feelings for Zack, but Bartz had just smiled and told him it was okay for him to feel that way. Cloud appreciated Bartz's support, but it was certainly an awkward conversation he'd rather not repeat.

"Okay," the brunet replied, simply, giving Cloud a small smile.

Bartz wasn't surprised when their night-watch turned out to be a silent one after that, and he fell asleep within the hour, leaving Cloud to keep guard by himself. Cloud couldn't say he minded. Fending for himself was one thing he was pretty damn used to.

* * *

"Tidus!"

Tidus frowned and rolled over, trying to ignore the noises disrupting his sleep. Zidane rolled closer to the sleeping bag next to him and gently punched Tidus in the shoulder.

"Tidus, are you awake?" he whispered. Tidus reluctantly opened his eyes.

"I am now," he moaned, laying a hand over his eyes. "What are you doing up?"

"My leg's kinda sore. I couldn't sleep. Can you talk for a bit?" Zidane asked. Tidus momentarily lifted the hand from his eyes to see Zidane's pleading expression, then he sighed, his arm flopping back down to block out the moonlight.

"You've gotta be kidding me," he grumbled. "Fine."

Tidus yawned and rolled onto his side, rubbing his eyes before letting them focus on his friend. Zidane continued to lie in his sleeping bag, but he propped his head up on one elbow, enthusiastically.

"What's up?" Tidus asked.

"You tell me. What happened with Yuna?" Zidane inquired, raising a curious brow. Tidus swallowed hard.

"I don't want to talk about it. We talked. We're still broken up. That's all."

"Fine," Zidane sighed. He sucked in a breath as he pondered another topic of interest. Tidus looked like he might fall asleep again if he didn't speak fast.

"Alrighty. Then, how are things going with Cloud?" Tidus' eyes widened, and he glanced to the mouth of the alcove, expecting Cloud to be right there beside the sleeping Bartz.

"Don't worry," Zidane answered. "He went to scout the area."

"Man, I don't wanna talk. You woke me up for this?" Tidus whined, burying his head against his sleeping bag.

"Come on, talk to me," Zidane groaned.

Tidus glanced up at his friend, but was quick to avert his gaze, embarrassment getting the better of him. He let out a heavy breath before reluctantly opening his mouth.

"I'm getting nowhere fast," he admitted. "Half the time, I feel like he's mad at me."

"He acts mad around everyone," Zidane reminded him.

"Yeah, but not everyone butts into his personal life like I do."

"Well, that could be true," Zidane laughed.

"I just can't tell how he feels about me," Tidus said, with a shrug.

"Why do you care so much?" Zidane asked.

"I don't know." Tidus' gaze was fixed on his sleeping bag, and he rubbed restlessly at his arm, like he was ashamed. Zidane frowned, analyzing him carefully.

"What?" Tidus asked, defensively. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Zidane's eyes opened wide as he realized he may have misunderstood Tidus' intentions from the start.

"Wait a sec. Do you _like_ him?" Zidane asked, cocking his head to the side. Tidus' gaze flew toward Zidane, then back down.

"I dunno," he replied, rubbing his arm even harder.

"You _do_!"

"No," Tidus shook his head, wildly.

"T? You're a terrible liar," Zidane said, frowning slightly. Tidus eyed his friend for a second or two before his gaze fell away again. His heart was pounding again. He'd been caught. No way could he lie his way out of it now.

"Okay," he sighed. "Maybe I do, but it might not even matter. He probably doesn't... swing that way," Tidus mumbled, sheepishly. Zidane sat up, now thoroughly intrigued—and a little shocked—by the conversation's turn of events. Tidus had never shown an interest in guys, himself. Zidane had never considered it a possibility until now.

"So, since when do _you_ swing that way?" Zidane tried, creasing a brow. Tidus shook his head timidly, not quite knowing how to answer that question. Zidane waved a hand dismissively.

"Never mind. It doesn't matter. You know, you could ask him about his ol' gal-pal, Tifa. Maybe he'll let something slip about his _preferences_ ," Zidane said. He saw Tidus gulp.

"You know, you're really good at starting awkward conversations," Tidus groaned, trying to hide his face against his sleeping bag again.

"Come on, man. I'm just trying to help," Zidane spoke up. Tidus still looked uneasy, his eyes fixed on the floor of the tent, so Zidane gave him a playful nudge. Tidus reluctantly looked up. Zidane didn't look like the news had fazed him.

"He let you bandage his arm, didn't he? And he let you tag along on the Malboro hunt. You might have a chance with him," Zidane grinned. Tidus sighed, and released a strained chuckle.

"Thanks. I think," he replied, nervously.

Cloud stood frighteningly still alongside the outside wall of the alcove. His heart was pounding, his stomach sinking. He wondered whether he had misheard, or misunderstood, but the more he thought about it, the more plausible it seemed. Tidus suddenly being so nice to him, and always being right beside him whenever he was in a pinch. Tidus asking him questions, and following him around. Cloud put a hand to his chest and tried to steady his breathing, but his fear was making it impossible. Did Tidus feel something for him?

 


	7. Break

 

**Chapter 7: Break**

Cloud sat stiffly against the outside wall of the alcove. Morning had arrived, yet Cloud still hadn't slept a wink. For once, he couldn't blame his insomnia on thoughts of the past; instead, his mind was fixed on the uncertain present. Over and over, hundreds of times, Cloud mulled over the words he had heard the night before. Tidus.

Tidus had an interest in him, but for what, Cloud couldn't be sure, even after the night's seven or eight hours of think-time. Was Tidus seeking his affections for a chance at sappy romance? Experimentation with another male? Maybe even a sensual affair? Or a deep and meaningful relationship? Cloud didn't want to come to a definite conclusion; it was impossible to do so, anyway, but considering how kind and helpful Tidus had been all along, Cloud wanted to believe it was the latter.

The recent dreams of Zack only seemed to make the situation with Tidus worse. It just reminded Cloud of the things he'd had and lost. He felt confident that no relationship would ever be as comforting or rewarding as the one he'd had with Zack. Cloud worried that if he even considered opening up to someone, he would lose that safe distance he kept between himself and others. He felt that accepting another person's comfort would weaken him, and Cloud didn't trust himself not to give in to such comfort.

What really scared Cloud was the realization that Tidus wasn't about to leave him alone. Tidus wanted to pry even further into his life, to discover if Cloud could, in fact, requite what Tidus felt for him. There would be more awkward moments when Tidus would offer help that Cloud didn't want to accept. There would be times when Tidus would follow him, and stare at him, and worst of all, ask more questions. How Cloud hated his questions.

Cloud was puzzled, confused, not knowing how to react to the situation. He valued his companions—he'd always valued Tidus—but he had never gone so far as to _care_ about them. Caring was much too dangerous, as Cloud's heart just couldn't take another beating if something were to happen to someone close to him. Cloud liked Tidus, but not enough to want to take a risk with him; he'd never thought about him as anything more than a companion before, and when it wasn't clear what Tidus' intentions were with him, Cloud figured the safest thing to do was to keep his distance. Cloud couldn't give Tidus the chance to imagine them together because, in Cloud's mind, there was no possibility of it ever happening.

Cloud let out a sigh. He would run. Perhaps it was the only way. It was the way he'd always dealt with things. He'd run away from home when it was too hard to take. He'd run from his friends when they tried to help him, or convince him that the tragedies that had taken place were not his fault. And now, he would run from Tidus.

Cloud pushed himself up off the ground in a hurry, knowing he would have to act fast before he changed his mind. He glanced at the sky. The sun was coming up. Bartz and the others would be awakening soon.

With quick, but quiet steps, Cloud entered the alcove, heart racing as he gathered up his few belongings as fast as he could. He felt confident in his decision now; he couldn't face a confrontation with Tidus. Even if Tidus did have feelings for him, there was no way Cloud could reciprocate those sentiments, no matter what Tidus' intentions were. He would have to let Tidus know that, and he definitely wasn't ready to have that conversation, regardless of which one of them started it. He hated himself for leaving his friends without a word, but he didn't see another option. He didn't want to break Tidus' heart.

"What are you doing, Cloud?" Bartz asked, yawning as he heard Cloud's footsteps. He was still collapsed against the outside wall of the alcove, but when he looked to see Cloud emerging from within the recess, his bedroll slung over his shoulder and his weapon in hand, his eyes widened.

"You can't leave!" he shouted.

"I'm sure Laguna will stay with you and the others until Zidane is healed. You'll be fine," Cloud assured him.

"But I don't get it," Bartz started, rushing to his feet. "Why leave now?"

Cloud hesitated. He glanced behind him to where Zidane and Tidus were still sleeping soundly. Tidus was curled up with his knees tucked up nearly to his chest, mouth parted slightly as he slept. He looked so innocent, so unaware of the pain he was causing. Cloud met Bartz's eyes for a moment, then slung the Buster sword onto his back.

"I just can't stay here. Take care of yourselves," Cloud said.

"Come on, Cloud, wait!" Bartz begged, reaching out to take Cloud's arm.

"Wha's going on?" Zidane asked, tiredly, rolling over in his sleeping bag.

"Cloud's trying to make a getaway!" Bartz yelled.

"What?" Zidane shouted, pushing himself into a sitting position. He gave Tidus a good shove to wake him up, too.

"Hey," Tidus moaned, raising his head up to search for the cause of his interrupted sleep.

"Cloud's trying to leave," Zidane frowned.

"Huh?" Tidus sat up immediately, his puffy, sleepy eyes snapping open as his gaze shot toward Cloud. The man was standing at the mouth of the alcove, looking ashamed. He shook his arm, trying to get Bartz to let go, but it did no good.

Tidus scrambled out of his sleeping bag and stood with his eyes locked on the Ex-SOLDIER, a frantic look on his face. Cloud wished he could escape Tidus' pain-filled stare, but he couldn't look away. He was too afraid of what might happen if he did.

"Why?" Tidus asked. Cloud could easily identify the hurt in his weak voice.

"There are some things I need to take care of. It's better if I go on alone," Cloud replied, managing to break free of Tidus' gaze and lowering his head.

"I'm going with you," Tidus said, immediately.

"You can't," Cloud answered, just as quickly. Tidus stared at him for a long moment, the expression on his face growing more bewildered by the second.

"I thought we were going to find Firion and Cecil together."

"That's no longer my priority. I'm going to find my crystal so we can get out of this world as soon as possible," Cloud said, his heart aching a little. The look on Tidus' face punched his insides with guilt.

"Come on, Cloud. We can _help each other_ find our crystals," Bartz spoke up, when the others seemed to be lost for words.

"Look, I have to do this on my own," Cloud said, finally pulling his arm free of Bartz's hold. He quickly strode away from the alcove, and this time, no one bothered to stop him. Not even Tidus.

Tidus moved a foot forward, but caught himself. Cloud seemed pretty determined to escape. He'd had a perturbed look on his face that Tidus had never seen before. Maybe Tidus could help ease his mind, but then again, maybe he couldn't. Cloud had made it quite clear that he didn't want to be followed.

The three left behind remained still for a minute, exchanging defeated glances. Tidus made his way back over to his sleeping bag and slumped down onto it. He sat campfire-style, his shaking hands clutching his ankles tightly.

"Guess he really got tired of us," Tidus sighed, shakily, as he stared down at his bedroll. There was a hint of a chuckle in his voice, but Zidane could hear how sad that laughter was. Zidane carefully scooted closer, and slung an arm around Tidus' shoulder.

"Hey, man. It'll be okay," he encouraged. Bartz walked deeper into the alcove and sat down with the others.

"He'll be back. He'll get bored without us," he smiled.

"Somehow, I really doubt it," Tidus said, shaking his head. "I don't think he'll be back."

* * *

"Why so glum, chum?" Laguna asked, from his position around the fire, as the group chowed down on their breakfast that morning. Tidus was lacking his normally huge appetite, and his solemn mood was showing big time. Zidane took a bite of his bread, and gave Tidus a brotherly pat on the back.

"His pal ditched 'im," he answered, mouth full. Tidus knew Zidane was just trying to make light of the situation for his sake, but it didn't make the words hurt any less; they were the truth, after all.

"I'm sure he'll be back," Yuna spoke up in her gentle voice, causing Tidus to look up in surprise. It was just like her, to be so sweet like that even after he'd hurt her so much. Her eyes flickered away when she saw Tidus' gaze rest on her, and she took a small bite of her bread to preoccupy herself.

"That's what I keep telling him, but will he listen? No," Bartz smiled, giving Tidus a friendly nudge in the arm. Tidus forced a tiny smile, but his eyes remained on the ground.

"So, Zidane. How's that leg?" Laguna asked.

"Getting better. I limped my way out here on my own, so that's progress," he smiled, pounding his fists together. He heard Tidus sigh beside him, and he watched as his posture fell even further into a slouch.

"Tidus, man, why don't you just go after him?" Zidane whispered, as the others broke into another conversation. Tidus glanced in his direction.

"Because he doesn't want me to," he replied.

"Who cares?" Zidane smiled. "If you want to go after him, go. Any good friend would do the same," the boy continued, almost making Tidus want to reconsider.

"But, what if—" Tidus started, but Zidane wouldn't have any of his questions.

"He can't stop you from tagging along. Besides, he'll thank you later when you're saving his ass," the boy smirked. Tidus let out a small chuckle, but quickly lowered his eyes to the ground again.

"Thanks, Zidane, but I don't think it's a good idea. I'll just end up annoying him more."

"It's your choice, bud, but if I were you, I know what I'd do," Zidane told him.

Tidus stared down at the barely eaten bread in his hands. If Zidane would have followed, did that mean Tidus should do the same? Certainly, Tidus was every bit as brave as Zidane, every bit as determined. And Tidus sure didn't want to give up on Cloud, not yet. It was too early in the game to call it quits.

"Do you think I should?" Tidus asked.

"He's gonna need back-up when the manikins show up again," Zidane shrugged. "Use that as your reason for following him."

Tidus nodded slowly, sort of liking the sound of that.

"Fine," he reluctantly agreed. "But I'm blaming you if this turns out to be a bad idea," he whispered, getting up from the ground and brushing himself off.

"Yeah, yeah. Now, go get him," Zidane grinned.

* * *

The cool breeze was refreshing as Cloud walked through the field, a nice contrast to the warm sun on his skin. Cloud was thankful to have more time on his own to think. Everything had happened in such a blur. Cloud felt like a wrench had been thrown into his heart. Now that he had succeeded in placing a distance between himself and the others, new thoughts began to fall into place, and he took a deeper look into the situation. Everything was different now.

Tidus had been a loyal companion for months, and Cloud had trusted him in and out of combat, but the thought that Tidus might never have been looking for a mere companionship scared Cloud. It wasn't Tidus' feelings for him that he found so unnerving; it was the fact that Tidus had somehow managed to fall for him when he didn't feel like he'd done anything to deserve it. Cloud had closed himself off, and he thought he'd done it well enough to prevent anyone from slipping in, from _seeing_ him. Apparently, his walls weren't as strong as he'd thought they were.

Cloud felt vulnerable. Someone had penetrated his shield, the one thing protecting him from hurt and heartache and everything that came with getting close to people. Being with Zack had been different. Back then, Cloud hadn't needed to be afraid. He hadn't known what kind of dangers came with giving his heart to someone. Zack had embraced everything he was, and had loved him with everything he had, but perhaps they had been _too_ in love. Perhaps Zack could have lived if he and Cloud hadn't...

Cloud shook his head. He couldn't think of such things. There was nothing he could do that would change any of that anyway, and no matter how badly things had ended, he couldn't bring himself to regret his time with Zack. Still, he wasn't about to risk falling for someone again. There was no way he could handle such a great loss a second time.

"Cloud! Cloud, wait up!" Tidus yelled, as he ran. Cloud felt his heart sink as he heard his comrade behind him. He pushed his thoughts aside and kept his eyes on the road ahead, hoping he could walk quickly enough to escape Tidus' pursuit. Unfortunately for him, Tidus reached him much faster than he'd anticipated, and Cloud felt obligated to halt.

"Man, you walk fast," Tidus panted, his hands on his knees as he stood beside Cloud. Cloud tried his hardest to form some sort of sentence, but his nerves crept up on him. His brain kept telling him that things had changed between him and Tidus. Tidus _wanted_ something from Cloud, something that Cloud couldn't give him.

"I don't need you to follow me," Cloud managed, watching the young man as he stood up straight again, looking as good as new after his long run.

"I know, but I'm following you anyway," Tidus said, forcing a confident smile, which earned a small look of disappointment from Cloud. Tidus tried not to let it bother him. He knew he would have to play it cool from here on out if he wanted to get close to Cloud; he couldn't take everything so personally.

Cloud ignored Tidus, and tried to regain his composure as he started on his way again. Tidus jogged a few steps to catch up with him again.

"Stop trying to run away, will ya?" Tidus said, walking backwards in front of Cloud so he could keep him from running off.

"The others will need your help more than I do," Cloud mumbled, sounding more convincing this time, but Tidus shook his head, not buying his lie.

"Nice try, mister, but there's four of them and only one of you. I'm staying right here."

Being with Tidus shouldn't have felt as strained as it did, after travelling together for so long. Tidus had no idea that Cloud had overheard his conversation with Zidane. Nothing should have felt different, but it did.

"Look, I left so I could be alone. I'm telling you, go back to the others," Cloud spoke up again.

"But why? I don't get why you just up and left like that. What happened?" Tidus asked, desperation in his voice.

"I don't want to talk about this," Cloud insisted, walking faster. Tidus only trotted ahead of him and stopped him in his tracks.

"Cloud, come on. I can see not wanting to travel in a group of six, but I thought you and I were a team," he said, his brows creased upward in dismay.

"That's just it."

"What?"

"We're not a team, Tidus," Cloud frowned, his voice harsh and stern. "We were never a team. We ended up in that canyon together _by accident_ , not by choice." Tidus had no idea why Cloud would say such a thing. He swallowed hard, and tried not to let show just how much those words hurt.

"What, did you suddenly just get sick of me or something? What did I do to piss you off so much?" he demanded, making sure his voice was just as fierce as Cloud's.

"I realize you're hoping something will happen between us, but... I don't feel anything for you," Cloud announced, making his heart lurch along with Tidus'. He hadn't wanted to say it, but the words had rushed out before he could stop to consider another option. He paused, and watched Tidus carefully, awaiting his reaction.

Tidus stood frighteningly still, trying to let the meaning of those words settle in his brain. _Has he found me out?_ his mind panicked. Cloud was staring at him hard.

"What? What are you talking about?" Tidus asked, pretending to laugh it off.

"Last night. I heard some things," Cloud continued. Tidus instantly stopped chuckling, a look of dread appearing on his face.

"W-when I was talking with Zidane?" he asked. Cloud nodded.

"Oh..." Tidus hesitated. He could feel Cloud's eyes still boring into him, and he wished his emotions weren't written all over his face. How could he hide when Cloud knew everything? Perhaps it was easier to come clean.

"Look, Cloud, nothing has to change between us. I want to continue to be here for you as your friend. I mean, we're at least friends, right?" Tidus asked, panic bubbling up inside him. Cloud's blood seemed to go cold at those words. _'We're friends, right?'_ Cloud turned pale. _Zack..._

Suddenly, Cloud was lost for words. He didn't know how he felt. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how he felt about Tidus at all.

"Are we even friends?" Tidus asked quietly, feeling defeated when Cloud didn't answer.

"Friendship isn't what you're after, is it?" Cloud tried, still not fully facing Tidus. He could just make him out in the corner of his eye.

"Cloud..."

"Is it?" Cloud repeated, fiercer this time.

"I didn't want you to find out this way... and so soon," Tidus whispered. After a moment, he forced some volume into his voice, hoping to sound confident. "I feel something for you. I do."

"How does Yuna fit into this?" Cloud asked, causing the shocked look to reappear on Tidus' face.

"Yuna?" Tidus practically choked out. He paused for a long moment, then he hung his head low, looking as if he were ashamed to continue.

"I loved Yuna. I loved her so much, but things changed. _She_ changed, and I... I wasn't sure how I felt about her anymore..." he trailed off. Tidus was silent for a moment, and continued to hide his face as he tried to figure out what to say next.

"But, she and I are over, Cloud." The older man watched the younger silently, unable to come up with a reply.

"Cloud, I want to be part of your life. I guess I'm just not sure where I fit in," Tidus said, quietly, his gaze flickering from Cloud to his surroundings.

"You don't," Cloud uttered. Tidus felt cold.

"What?" he asked, though his voice was starting to fail him now.

"You don't fit in," Cloud repeated. Then he walked off ahead, leaving Tidus standing shaking.

Cloud had to believe he was doing the right thing. Letting Tidus down now would hurt a lot less than if he waited until later. Tidus watched Cloud's figure grow smaller and smaller as it went off into the distance. This time, he didn't have the strength nor the will to follow. _I'm sorry, Tidus,_ Cloud thought as he walked, each step like ice beneath his feet. _I just don't want you to get your hopes up._

* * *

Tidus kicked a rock, hard enough to send it flying several metres away from him. He sighed and put a hand to his head, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. He felt helpless, like all his efforts had been useless. Why was it that he had even tried to get close to Cloud? He thought back to that night at the campfire, when he and Cloud had stayed up to watch the sunrise. It was all because of that one stupid smile, and from there, everything had grown. Tidus wondered why that one smile had drawn him in, but it didn't take him long to come up with the answer. He had thought about it a hundred times.

That had been the first real smile Tidus had ever seen Cloud give. It wasn't one of those false half-smiles that always left Tidus feeling empty and longing for more. No, this one had filled his heart, had made him see Cloud in a different light. Before that night, he'd never seen Cloud happy; he hadn't even known he was capable of the emotion. Since then, all he had wanted was to help Cloud find and sustain that happiness that was buried inside of him. He wanted to be there for him every step of the way as he healed from whatever it was that made him so cold and distant.

Maybe none of it mattered now. Cloud didn't think of him as anything more than a fellow warrior. They weren't friends. They weren't a team. Cloud wasn't interested in him tagging along with him any longer, and maybe that would have been the case even if Cloud hadn't found out about his true feelings. What was the point in fighting for him? Cloud didn't want to be saved.

Tidus heaved another sigh as he approached the alcove. Bartz and Zidane were still sitting around the fire, but Laguna and Yuna were nowhere in sight, their tent empty and silent. Tidus assumed they were out collecting food or something, and was thankful not to have the extra pairs of eyes on him as he gloomily trudged forward. Zidane's head shot up at the sound of his friend approaching. His expression immediately turned to one of concern. It was obvious from the look on his face that Tidus was distraught. Zidane tried his best to push himself up off the ground, and Bartz helped him to stand.

"What happened?" he asked, limping over to where Tidus was approaching. Tidus shook his head.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I think I'm just gonna get some rest," he replied, forcing a false smile as he brushed past his companions. Bartz and Zidane exchanged worried glances.

Tidus entered the alcove and leaned his sword against the wall before pulling the bedroll off his back. He swiftly set it up and squirmed his way into it, curling into its warmth. He closed his eyes and tried to push thoughts of Cloud out of his head, but the image of him remained in the front of his mind. His shining gold hair, his stunning blue eyes, his fair skin and small smile. Tidus shut his eyes even tighter and pulled his sleeping bag over his head, then waited until the warmth of his cocoon made him drowsy enough to fall into a light sleep.

* * *

The smell of the same sketchy meat from the night before woke Tidus from his slumber. He cast a glance outside and saw Laguna preparing supper, his companions all around him. He regretted looking out when he saw Bartz catch his eye. Tidus ran a hand through his hair and pretended to adjust himself for sleep again. To his dismay, Bartz politely excused himself from the rest of the party and entered the alcove. He sat himself down in the corner, his legs sprawled out in front of him and his weight on his hands behind him.

"Good sleep?" he asked.

"Not the best," Tidus replied, cynically.

"Something on your mind?"

"No," Tidus grimaced.

"I talked to Zidane," Bartz began, but was interrupted by a loud groan.

"He told you?" Tidus whined.

"You were acting so strangely, I just had to ask. And Zidane isn't so good at keeping secrets," the brunet confessed.

"Dammit," Tidus muttered.

"Hey, I just want to help," Bartz told him. Tidus eventually looked up, and the sincere expression on Bartz's face actually made him want to start talking. Finally, he sat up, pushing his sleeping bag down to his ankles, and tugging his knees up to his chest. He was silent for a long moment, but Bartz sat patiently waiting.

"I don't know what to think," Tidus said. "I mean, Cloud seems so lonely sometimes. You'd think he'd want someone with him, you know? And I thought he at least thought of me as a friend, but... he doesn't even seem to feel that," Tidus went on. He could feel his arms tightening around his knees, the awkwardness of the conversation making it hard to relax.

"Maybe I'm not his type."

"You don't have to worry," Bartz spoke up. "He plays for your team." Bartz felt Tidus' gaze travel in his direction.

"What? How do _you_ know?" Tidus asked, blinking in surprise.

"We talked about it once."

"Cloud... opened up to _you_ about something like _that_?!" Tidus felt like he might topple over from the shock.

"Don't be mad. It just kind of slipped out. He didn't mean to tell me," Bartz smiled, waving his hands up in a surrendering motion. Tidus was speechless for a moment, completely baffled by how a topic like that could possibly come up between the two.

"I can't believe it," Tidus almost whispered, his face twisted into a confused expression at first, then it saddened. Bartz realized what must have been going through his friend's head.

"No worries, Tidus. _I'm_ certainly not his type," he promised, flashing an encouraging smile.

"How do you know that? He talked to you about something really personal. With me, he's hardly ever..."

"He's quiet, yeah, but he likes you. You two have always been kind to each other."

"If he likes me, then how come he's pushing me away?" Tidus asked, sighing.

"I think you just need to take your time with him. He'll come around," Bartz assured him. Tidus was quiet again, thinking hard. It certainly didn't seem like Cloud would change his mind about him. The things he'd said before he'd walked off... It was obvious he didn't want Tidus anywhere near him.

"I don't know," Tidus eventually sighed.

"Well, don't worry about it now. Come get something to eat. It might be a good distraction," Bartz said, pulling Tidus to his feet.

"Fine, but you better keep this to yourself," the blond replied.

"Cross my heart," Bartz smiled.


	8. Battered

**Chapter 8: Battered**

Morning came, and Tidus still felt as miserable as he had the day before, the pain of Cloud's words still dragging him down like a weight. In some ways, he wished he could let it all go, all the anger, all the sadness, and all the feelings he'd ever had for Cloud in the first place. In other ways, he felt even more determined to tear down Cloud's cold exterior, and make Cloud realize that things could be better with someone by his side.

At the moment, though, Tidus was unsure of the correct option, and with Cloud nowhere nearby, he couldn't really settle for either one. He was as torn and confused as ever, and although he tried hard to force a smile for his friends, his despondency was still painfully obvious.

By mid-afternoon, Laguna had become a little restless hanging around the campsite, and he convinced Yuna to go with him in search of food. Zidane whined and begged to tag along, but with his leg still on the mend, everyone insisted he stay put. Now, he sat in front of the unlit fire, arms folded and a frown on his face.

Tidus came to join him after freshening up at the waterfall, and he almost wanted to laugh at the pout on Zidane's face, except he was sure he had worn the exact same expression earlier that day.

"I'm sure it'll heal soon," Tidus said, linking his hands around his knees as he sat beside his friend.

"Yeah, sure," Zidane groaned, rolling his eyes. Bartz emerged from the alcove, and sat down with the other two, his dependable smile on his face.

"You two sure look cheery," he teased, glancing between his two solemn companions.

"I wanted to go with them," Zidane muttered, his frown increasing.

"I know, bud," Bartz sighed. "And what about you? You're not feeling any better, are you?" he asked, turning his attention to Tidus. The young man's gaze flickered up, and fluttered away just as fast.

"I dunno," Tidus uttered.

"I'm sure Cloud'll come around," Bartz said. Zidane's interest had obviously been piqued by the change in conversation, as he immediately perked up.

"What happened yesterday?" he asked.

"I still don't want to talk about it," Tidus answered, his eyes fixed on the grass in front of him.

"Did he say something when you went after him?" Zidane pressed on.

"He heard us talking the other night. He knows how I feel," Tidus admitted, causing Zidane's jaw to drop. "And he didn't take it well. That's all I'm gonna say."

"I'm sorry, Tidus," Zidane said.

"It's not your fault," Tidus replied, though part of him did want to blame Zidane for opening his big mouth that night. Not that it would have made things any better. Cloud was gone.

"What are you gonna do now?" Bartz asked, eyes full of concern.

"No idea," Tidus answered, getting up from his spot on the ground and brushing himself off. "I just feel so useless sitting here doing nothing. And it's really bothering me to think that Cloud's out there on his own. I don't wanna go charging after him again, but..." he trailed off, starting to pace back and forth in front of the campfire. Bartz put a hand to his chin, looking thoughtful.

"Maybe you need some time on your own. Cloud's probably had lots of time to think. Maybe that's what you need, too," Bartz said.

"What are you suggesting?" Tidus asked, continuing to pace.

Bartz got up and grabbed Tidus by the shoulders, bringing him to a halt. Tidus widened his eyes, clearly confused by Bartz's actions. Bartz handed him his sword off the ground, and started herding him in the direction of the forest.

"Go. Take a walk. Think. Breathe," he smiled, giving Tidus a gentle shove toward the trees, making him trip a few steps forward. Tidus rubbed the back of his head once he caught his footing.

"You could have just asked. I'm not a cow," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry," Bartz smirked. "Just go and take your time. Weigh out your options. You'll feel better if you have time to clear your head."

"Okay, okay. Seems like you really wanna get rid of me," Tidus smirked back.

"Just go," Zidane and Bartz laughed in unison.

* * *

The walk turned out to be somewhat useful, as Tidus was able to relax more than he had since he'd last talked to Cloud, but he regretted taking Bartz's advice as soon as the fog began to roll in. It was thick, just as it had been when he and Cloud had gone off in search of the Malboro. Unfortunately, finding his way back was proving to be far more difficult than he had anticipated, and he was sure evening would soon be on its way.

His mind had been filled yet again with thoughts of Cloud, this time with the possibilities that they could have had, or the times when Tidus could have done something to avoid the situation they were in now. He knew it was stupid to be thinking about other ways he could have confessed his feelings for Cloud, especially now that there was no way to go back and change it, but he couldn't help but wonder if Cloud's reaction would have been different if he'd found out under different circumstances.

No matter how hard or long he thought, however, he had no clear indication of what he should do next, or even what he _wanted_ to do. He had no idea how well Cloud would accept his advances, were he to make any more. He didn't know if he should even try to find Cloud again. Perhaps he'd ruined their chances already.

Tidus stopped walking for a moment and folded his arms, trying for what seemed like the millionth time to find the right way to the waterfall. It was no use. Even if his brain hadn't been so muddled, he wouldn't have been able to find his way back. The fog was too thick and everything in the forest looked the same, just as before. Frustrated, he plopped himself down on the ground, sitting campfire-style, as was a habit of his.

He let out a huge sigh as he contemplated his best course of action. Wait until the fog let up? Who knew how long that would take. Keep trekking along in hopes of reaching his destination? That didn't sound like a viable option either. It could end up leading him farther away.

Tidus broke out of his thoughts as he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He rose to his feet, swiftly drawing his sword. He scanned the area, but saw nothing. He jumped as he caught another glimpse of motion, and his eyes came to rest on a young woman standing a few feet away. Her hair was a combination of mixed blonds, like Tidus'. Her blue eyes met those of the young man and she smiled softly at him. Tidus felt his mouth go dry, and he felt so unsure, so naive as he asked,

"Mom?"

The woman simply smiled and strode toward him, her long yellow dress billowing unnaturally around her ankles. Tidus felt hesitant to let down his guard as she approached, but the woman didn't look threatened. She stepped, closer, closer. She looked so familiar that Tidus didn't stop her when she fearlessly put a hand to his cheek.

"You sure have grown," she smiled. Tidus swallowed hard, unable to react. His mother was dead, yet here she was, talking to him, touching him. A ghost, perhaps?

"Mom?" he repeated. She smiled softly, her eyes wrinkling into small slits as a chuckle emerged from her throat.

"What's wrong, Tidus? Surprised to see me?" she asked. Tidus blinked a couple of times and turned his head to break away from her touch, reality sinking in that this couldn't be real. He backed away so he could analyze her more carefully. He felt as if his words might get stuck in his throat.

"Well, yeah, actually," he eventually replied.

"I know it's been some time," she said, looking guilty as she stared at the ground.

"You're not supposed to be here. You died," Tidus said, his face scrunched into a look of confusion and distrust. The woman only smiled at her son once again.

"I came to tell you something," she said, taking another step towards her son, causing Tidus to take one step back, wanting to maintain a safe distance between them.

"What?" Tidus asked, feeling more and more unsettled by the second.

"I need you to join your father. I need you to fight alongside him with Chaos," she whispered. Tidus' blood ran cold.

* * *

Tidus felt like his heart might explode from running so fast. His lungs felt like they had been overfilled with air. He could taste the blood from his busted lip, the sickly metallic taste making him want to throw up. Still, he ran through the thinning fog. He was shocked when he didn't see anyone around the campfire. He swallowed hard, dread overtaking him.

"Guys!" Tidus shouted, in hopes that his friends would appear. He let out a small sigh of relief when Zidane and Bartz emerged from the alcove, along with Yuna and Laguna. Their faces bore a few cuts and their clothes were a little torn. Obviously, they had also been found.

"Did you see... ghosts, too?" Tidus asked.

"We saw _something_. Are you okay?" Bartz asked, looking Tidus over quickly to make sure he wasn't seriously injured. He noticed Tidus' few minor injuries, but he didn't look nearly as beaten as he and Zidane were.

"I'm fine," Tidus replied.

"Those people... They were..." Yuna spoke up.

"With Chaos, I know," Tidus answered, sensing the sadness in the girl's voice. She had seen Braska; Tidus was almost positive. Knowing that made him feel a little better. If she'd seen her long deceased parent, it probably meant Tidus wasn't going mad. Or if he was, at least he wasn't the only one.

"Cloud... didn't come back here by any chance, did he?" Tidus started, but trailed off when the majority of them shook their heads.

"He's not with us," Zidane answered, concern spreading across his features, for he was sure Tidus would start to worry.

"Dammit," Tidus muttered, glancing around once again.

"You thought he might come back if there was trouble?" Laguna asked.

"I _hoped_ he would," Tidus said, through gritted teeth, the anxiety driving him crazy.

"He's probably okay. They might not have found him," Bartz tried to convince him, but Tidus had already turned to leave.

"I can't take that chance!" he shouted, his feet feeling far more sure than his mind did.

"Be careful," Zidane warned, as Tidus took off at a run. Tidus didn't know where to start looking, but he hoped his legs would carry him fast enough to find Cloud before it was too late.

* * *

Cloud froze at the sight of the figure before him. The grip on his sword loosened. He tried to keep himself steady, attempting to at least _look_ threatening.

"Why the long face, partner?" Cloud felt his heart begin to race at the sound of that familiar voice. Without even thinking, he felt his lips start to form that name.

"Z...Za—"

"That's right. You remember me, don't you?" Zack asked, hands on his hips, a soft smile on his face. Cloud's mind tried to rationalize what he was seeing. This had to be a trick.

"You're not real," Cloud said, voice firm. He kept his sword raised, steadier now than he had been seconds before.

"Not real?" Zack repeated. He took a few steps forward. Cloud's heart leapt. Zack reached for Cloud's hair, but Cloud stepped back before Zack could give it a ruffle. He smiled, but Cloud found himself unable to smile back.

"You're dead," the blond said. Zack frowned.

"Dead, yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm not here." Cloud was silent, his brows furrowed. Something about this wasn't right. Why would Zack come and find him here? _How_ could he?

"Zack?" Cloud repeated.

"Yeah, it's me," Zack smiled, proceeding toward the Ex-SOLDIER. Cloud closed his eyes when he saw Zack reaching out for him again. He felt that familiar hand at the side of his face. Zack's fingers stroked his hair, then ran down his cheek and jaw, causing a plethora of memories and emotions to rush through Cloud's brain. His body felt weak with the familiarity of it all.

"I don't understand why you're here," Cloud uttered, not wanting to break this precious moment, but knowing he had to. He couldn't let this continue until he knew what his partner was doing here.

"You wanted me here, didn't you?" Zack asked.

Cloud swallowed. Of course he wanted him here. He wished for it every day, but that was what didn't make sense. He had prayed so many times for Zack to come back to him, but why would he decide to come back now? Cloud wasn't even in his homeworld. But if there was even a chance that this was real, how could Cloud possibly ruin this moment?

"I did. I mean, I do," Cloud whispered. He didn't know how else to respond.

"You're exactly how I remembered you," Zack whispered, stroking Cloud's cheek once again, causing Cloud to close his eyes and just soak up the feeling of Zack's touch.

"So are you," Cloud replied, his voice so very meek.

* * *

 

Tidus continued to run, his breath getting stuck in his lungs and causing his heart to pound. His chest hurt from breathing so hard. Still, he only stopped for a few seconds at a time, just enough for him to let out a few good exhales before taking off again. Even now that the fog had thinned, it was hard to tell which paths he had already crossed. Every time he paused for a breath, he listened carefully to the sounds around him, hoping to catch even a slight rustle that could possibly be caused by his companion. Cloud had only had a day's worth of travel time; Tidus just hoped he would still be near enough for him to catch up.

Tidus was finally forced to stop running. His legs were killing him. His chest was burning. His arms felt weak. He fell to his knees, and focused on taking long, deep breaths. Even if he found Cloud, he needed to be ready to fight. He knew it would be beneficial to take a few minutes to recover before charging into what he suspected might be the midst of battle.

 _Inhale. Exhale._ Tidus repeated the words slowly in his head, breathing steadily in and out. Suddenly, he found himself wondering why he had, without a moment's hesitation, followed after Cloud when their last conversation had gone so poorly, and when Tidus had been so unsure whether or not pursuing Cloud would be a smart move. Tidus didn't know what he would do or say when he found Cloud. _It doesn't matter_ , Tidus thought, shaking his head. It didn't matter if Cloud didn't want anything to do with him. It didn't matter if he wanted Tidus to stay away from then on. Cloud was still Tidus' friend, whether he wanted to be or not. And if Cloud was in danger, then, hell, Tidus would be there to help him.

Tidus held his breath. He could hear something off in the distance. He listened hard, his eyes closed so he could focus. He could hear voices. They were distant, and muffled, but yes, there were definitely voices. Tidus pushed himself up off the ground and adjusted the sword at his side before taking off at a run once again.

* * *

 

"Zack, I'm so tired," Cloud said, weakly.

"Tired? Then, let's find somewhere for you to sleep," Zack replied, a small smile on his face. His response was so childlike, so much like the Zack that Cloud remembered. It was so calming to Cloud.

"No, I mean... I'm tired. Weary of this constant fighting," Cloud tried to explain. Zack's mako blue eyes watched him carefully for a moment, then the SOLDIER sighed.

"Maybe your fight is over," he said, gently. "Maybe it's time you came with me."

"With you? To... the Lifestream?" Cloud questioned, cocking his head to the side. His face twisted into a nervous expression.

"Yeah. I mean, you did what you set out to do. You saved a lot of people back home, Cloud," Zack reminded him.

"I did, but I have a mission here, too," Cloud replied. His mind flickered back to his companions, to Cosmos, to where he thought he'd find purpose, but instead, he found the opposite. Cosmos had plenty of warriors. Sure, Cloud could certainly help with the fighting, but he doubted he would be the determining factor in them winning or losing this war. And when he considered the situation with Tidus, it just made things clearer; it was so much easier to run.

"Things are better where I am. We'd be together," Zack went on, when Cloud had nothing more to say.

Cloud looked up, a little startled. Zack was serious about this, and those words were an instant red flag in Cloud's brain, but Cloud tried not to focus on it. Deep in his heart, Cloud knew Zack would never say those things, but right now, his emotions were running far too high to think rationally. Part of him ignored the fact that this couldn't be Zack; the other part of him didn't care.

Zack never would have wanted Cloud to give up his life. Of course, he would have wanted Cloud alongside him, but in due time. Cloud could live his life first, and join him later. Zack would still be waiting for him in the Lifestream when his time came, but having Zack here right now, allowing him to give up the fight... It was so comforting. Cloud welcomed it.

So much time had gone by when all Cloud wanted was to give up, but he couldn't be so selfish. He couldn't just die after Zack had so valiantly given his life to save his. But if Zack said it was okay to join him now... How could Cloud possibly say no?

* * *

Tidus stopped running when the trees began to clear. Up ahead, he could see where the forest ended and the land protruded into a cliff. Out near the end of the cliff, Tidus could see two figures. The dark-haired man, Tidus didn't recognize, but the other...

Tidus' heart leapt as he watched the dark-haired figure walk off the cliff, as if on air. He was clearly a foot or two off the edge, but was perfectly, though inexplicably stable as he turned to the man behind him. He stretched out a hand, offering it to Cloud. Cloud hesitated, but Tidus soon saw him reaching out to accept that hand—the hand that would lead him to his death.

"Cloud!" Tidus shouted, unable to restrain himself any longer as he ran toward his friend. Cloud glanced behind him, but quickly looked back at the other figure.

"Follow me," the man instructed. Cloud took a step forward.

"Cloud, don't!" Tidus yelled, closing the distance between himself and Cloud now.

"I have to," Cloud replied, simply, his voice sounding like he was in a trance.

"Cloud! You'll die if you take another step!" Tidus' voice was panicked now, but it didn't seem to have any effect on Cloud.

Tidus didn't understand what was wrong, why Cloud wasn't terrified that a grave of water and rocks were all that would greet him once he proceeded into that sixty-foot drop. The dark-haired figure held Cloud's hand tightly within his own, but Tidus grabbed onto Cloud's free hand.

"Let go," Cloud ordered, tugging away from Tidus. "I need to go with Zack." Tidus froze.

"Zack?" he repeated, softly. So, this was him.

"Come on, Cloud," Zack said, a smile on his kind face. That smile made Tidus furious.

Tidus shook off his shock, and let go of Cloud's hand, drawing his sword instead. He felt Cloud moving beside him, trying to stop him, but Cloud wasn't fast enough. Tidus raised his sword and swung it several times, watching as it went through the figure. Cloud's hand was left empty, and he opened and closed it a few times in confusion, feeling for the contact that had been warming his palm just seconds ago.

Every time Tidus' blade looked like it would hit the ghostly form, it turned to a smoke-like substance, and the weapon would pass right through the figure before it re-assembled itself. Cloud tugged at Tidus' clothing, trying yet again to stop him from attacking his dead lover, but Tidus pushed Cloud backwards onto the ground.

"Get outta here, you!" Tidus yelled, summoning all his strength and swinging his sword once more through the ghost, careful not to fall off the edge of the steep cliff. Cloud looked up from his position on the ground, watching as Zack's one last smile disappeared as Tidus' blade entered and shattered the form.

"Zack?" Cloud asked, quietly. Tidus turned to him, watching him. Cloud's eyes were wide, looking expectant at first, as if he were waiting for the figure to reappear.

"Zack?" he repeated, softer this time. Those wide eyes changed, looking shocked, then devastated.

"Zack!" he shouted now. "Zack!"

Tidus knelt down in front of him, preventing him from getting any closer to the cliff. Cloud merely struggled against him, trying to break free. Tidus tried to ignore the repetitions of Zack's name, Cloud's calls that were nearly screams now. Tidus knew Cloud's mind was somewhere else, somewhere far from the Cloud he knew. Cloud would hurt him if he continued to stand in his way, but he couldn't let him near that cliff. He would jump if he did.

Cloud continued to fight against Tidus, but the younger blond wrapped his arms around Cloud's body, holding his arms still so he could no longer struggle. Cloud continued his attempts to move, but Tidus managed to keep him still in his embrace.

"Shh... You're okay," Tidus whispered into Cloud's ear, hoping it would calm him. Cloud continued fidgeting, but after several long, silent moments, his struggles died down.

"I'm here. You're okay," Tidus murmured. He was shocked when he felt Cloud relaxing. He didn't expect his voice would soothe him when he was so worked up, but he decided not to dwell on that success. It could be short-lived, after all. Cloud could still bolt if given the chance.

Several minutes passed, and Tidus continued to whisper comforting words to his friend. The man had ceased to move, and Tidus could tell from the change in the way Cloud's head rested limply against his shoulder that he was coming back to his senses. The Cloud he knew was returning to him.

Cloud could feel Tidus' arms around him now. He closed his eyes, tried his best not to let his emotions show, but tears fought hard against him. Those tears had been fighting to break free for months, and not once had he let them go. Still, he wouldn't let himself cry. Not now, not ever.

"Chaos is toying with us," Tidus whispered. "They tried to trick us, too."

Cloud stayed quiet, motionless in Tidus' arms. He thought about how the scene might have appeared to someone else, what he looked like being held by his younger companion. They might have looked funny; Cloud wasn't quite sure. It felt okay, though. That small comfort might have been the only thing helping him keep it together.

"Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Tidus asked.

Cloud wanted to answer, but he was afraid to. He was scared his voice would only come out a sob. Perhaps he couldn't fight anymore. He opened his mouth to reply, but he closed it again as tears brimmed in his eyes.

"Dammit..." he whispered.

Tidus pulled away only enough to see Cloud's face. When he saw those tears, he understood. Cloud didn't want to break down. Cloud _never_ wanted to experience emotions this strong, to feel this helpless.

Tidus wished he could understand just how hard this was on Cloud, but he doubted he would ever know the pain Cloud was going through. The only thing he could do was hold him. That was the only way he knew how to help.

"Dammit," Cloud repeated, his body trembling. Tidus just held him tighter, gently coaxing his head back down onto his shoulder. Those tears were still shining in Cloud's eyes, but Cloud wouldn't let them fall. Tidus wondered how he could be so strong, why he felt he had to hold back when all he wanted to do was cry.

Tidus let out a soft breath as his hand lightly rubbed Cloud's back.

"Everything will be fine," he promised, the feeling of Cloud's quivering, vulnerable form in his arms seeming so surreal to him. "I know you're scared, but it's going to be fine."

* * *

The walk back to the alcove was quiet and uncomfortable. Tidus refrained from speaking, and from the look on Cloud's face, he was just as glad to have the silence. Everyone was quiet within the alcove as the healing and bandaging of wounds took place. Bartz fidgeted as Zidane and Yuna tried to bandage up his torso. With Laguna bandaging his own wounds, Cloud had been left to tend to Tidus.

Tidus was abnormally still, allowing Cloud to dab at his bleeding lip with a cloth. They avoided eye contact as much as they could, a feeling of unease swirling around in their stomachs. Somewhere deep inside both their minds, they knew something had changed on that cliff. Something had fallen away when Tidus had seen Cloud at his weakest, looking so very vulnerable. Tidus had seen a side of Cloud that he knew he was never supposed to see.

Cloud tried to suppress his emotions, but sometime between the journey back to the alcove and the encounter with the false Zack, his sorrow had turned to rage. He threw the cloth down once Tidus' lip was clean again.

"We're not strong enough," Cloud said, his voice raised more than the others were used to hearing. The others turned their heads to look at him, their weary faces full of disquietude.

"We weren't _ready_ ," Bartz spoke up. "They caught us off guard. We didn't expect to see the people we saw."

"He's right. Seeing people close to us, people who've died... That's quite the shocker. Hard to be ready for that," Laguna said, eyeing Cloud.

"Well, we just have to _be_ ready," Cloud muttered.

"Hey, you can't go blaming us! You weren't even here! Maybe we would have been strong enough if we'd worked as a team," Zidane shouted, the word 'team' causing both Tidus and Cloud to flinch a little.

"I'm not having this conversation. We were played. It's not going to happen again," Cloud retorted, his voice fierce as he stormed out of the alcove.

The others eyed each other in confusion and disbelief. No one was used to seeing Cloud in such an upset. Tidus watched Cloud go, and though it terrified him, he knew he was the only one who could possibly comfort Cloud at this point; he was the only one who knew what had happened on that cliff.

Tidus followed Cloud out of the alcove, but Cloud kept his back to him as he strode off toward the forest.

"You're not leaving again, are you?" Tidus asked, his voice firm enough that he hoped Cloud would answer.

"I just need a minute alone," he replied, stopping in front of where the woods opened up.

"What happened in there?" Tidus asked, referring to Cloud's sudden outburst. His brows arched as he awaited an explanation.

"We were all too weak. I just had to make that clear," Cloud answered, coolly, stopping in his tracks.

"It's not that," Tidus stated, softly. "You're shaken up, Cloud. Like Bartz said, you weren't expecting Chaos to pull a stunt like that. No one was."

"And we all ended up hurt. What does that tell you? We're not strong enough," Cloud repeated, turning his head just enough to see Tidus in his peripheral vision.

"Cloud, what you just went through wasn't easy. I get that. And I also understand that it wasn't easy... for you to cry in front of me," Tidus said, slowly, though he started to regret it when he saw the change in Cloud's expression. He looked so taken aback, almost insulted that Tidus had brought up such a thing.

"Don't expect it to happen again," he replied, but Tidus could hear the significant change in his tone. It was weaker now. His strength was gone.

"Back there in the forest, I saw my mom. I know how hard it is to see someone that you've lost, but I just wanted to let you know that if you want to talk about Zack—"

Tidus had barely gotten the name past his lips, and Cloud had reacted, his hands taking a strong hold on his shoulders. Cloud's glowing eyes pierced Tidus' sea blue ones. The younger man wondered if he had misjudged just how important this 'Zack' person was to his friend.

"Ow... Cloud, you're hurting me." Tidus' brows twitched from the pain of Cloud's tight grasp.

"Cloud..." Tidus whined again, when the other man seemed to be frozen. This time, his voice managed to reach Cloud, causing him to blink a few times. Cloud realized what he was doing, and he immediately let go of the younger man's shoulders.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize... I'm really sorry," he said, backing away a few steps. Tidus frowned and clutched the shoulder that was aching the most.

"Go take a breather, Cloud. You're not thinking clearly." Cloud looked guilty, ashamed for having hurt his companion, but Tidus looked so frustrated with him in that moment, he wasn't sure if he should bother apologizing. He turned towards the woods, but paused before walking off.

"Just don't... Don't say his name anymore. Okay?" Cloud asked, softly.

"Okay," Tidus whispered, weakly, as Cloud disappeared into the trees.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey, readers! It's been a few chapters since I left a note, so here it is. Just want to give out a big thank you to EVERYONE who has been sending me comments! It's been so great to hear your thoughts, and I'm glad so many people have been enjoying the story so far. I'm really pleased with the attention this story has been getting, especially since I sort of expected it to be a flop. It's hard to find Tidus/Cloud stuff on the web, so I sort of figured this story wouldn't be too popular. Clearly, I was wrong:) I'm glad to see people are enjoying this pairing, both those who are new to it, and those who have liked it for a while! So, thanks once again to everyone who's been reading!
> 
> So, now Tidus has seen Zack, huh? And Cloud is pretty upset about it. Ooh, so suspenseful. What will happen next? Please, stay tuned for Chapter 9:)


	9. Sunlight

**Chapter 9: Sunlight**

The bright sun rose over the alcove, and the tired, wounded bunch were far from being in the best of moods. Everyone was silent as they ate their breakfast—which consisted of wildberries and their standard dried out bread—around the unlit fire. Heads were hung low, and only the sound of slow chewing could be heard over the sound of the waterfall. Finally, someone decided to break the silence.

"What did those ghost things want?" Bartz asked. He knew everyone was thinking about yesterday's attack; he was just the only one brave enough to mention it. Laguna looked up, a frown on his face.

"I'll bet you they were manikins. Chaos wanted us to fall for their tricks," he said, his voice serious for once.

"Just waiting for us to slip up, huh?" Zidane asked, worry lines showing between his brows.

"Did _everyone_ see... someone they lost?" Yuna asked, softly, her hands resting in her lap with a tight grip on her food.

Everyone nodded, except for Cloud, who simply averted his gaze. Tidus' heart ached for him; he assumed Cloud was trying to block out yesterday's incident as best he could.

"And was everyone asked to join Chaos?" Bartz asked.

Tidus started to nod in response, but halted as he remembered Cloud's encounter, and the way the Zack manikin had so fearlessly tried to lead Cloud to his death. Quickly, Tidus shook his head—partly in disagreement, and partly to rid himself of the chilling memory.

"Not everyone. I was asked to join Chaos, but Cloud's manikin tried to get him killed," Tidus spoke up.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cloud recoil, but he felt he had no choice but to disclose the information. He couldn't keep details like that to himself when it might mean something to the rest of the group. After all, each of their lives depended on how ready they were to fight Chaos.

"Hey, so did mine. I saw... my love. She wanted me to die so I could be with her," Laguna said. The sadness in his tone was almost tangible.

"Sounds like they want some of us out of the picture altogether," Zidane said, tossing the last of his food away and folding his arms in front of him.

"Who did you see, Cloud?" Bartz asked, without thinking. He backed off when he saw Cloud's hurt expression. Cloud's mouth parted slightly, his lips and eyes twitching as he tried to hide his pain.

"It doesn't really matter anyway," Tidus spoke up, trying to divert the attention away from him.

Cloud caught his eye. He hesitated, then slowly gave Tidus a thankful nod. Tidus responded with a half-smile to let him know he understood.

"What matters is that Chaos knows us. They know what and _who_ our weaknesses are. Right now, they have a big advantage," Tidus went on.

"Tidus is right. If they can create manikins of whoever they want, then we have a problem," Laguna sighed.

"You're wrong," Cloud spoke up, his courage returning. His companions turned to look in his direction. "We now know what Chaos is capable of. Like I said before, the next time it happens, we won't fall for it," he told them.

"That's easier said than done," Zidane argued, his arms still folded.

"Yeah, Cloud. When we see people like that... We can't help but react a certain way," Bartz tried to explain.

Cloud's eyes glimmered with sadness, and he lowered his head so no one would see. Despite that sadness, he felt better knowing that he hadn't been the only one to lose his ability to think clearly. Cloud shook his head softly and regained his composure, though his voice was gentler now.

"I know, but we can't. We can't afford to let it happen again," Cloud said.

Even with the sternness gone from his tone, he still sounded like he had given more of an order than a mere piece of advice. Everyone remained silent. They couldn't blame Cloud for being upset; they all were.

Cloud sighed, realizing he may have once again said too much. He hadn't meant to let his frustration show, but when it came to Zack, his emotions tended to run extra high. He didn't think he could stand it if Chaos were to mislead them like that again. Seeing Zack, with every detail recreated so perfectly, terrified him. One touch, and Cloud had lost all his strength, and with it, his good judgement.

"I'm sorry," he finally spoke up. "Yesterday was just sort of surreal."

"It's okay," Yuna said, forcing a half-smile. "We're all scared."

Cloud wished she hadn't said that. Was it that obvious he was scared? Could everyone tell?

"Look, maybe we just need to train a bit more. Cloud's probably right. We should be better prepared next time because we know what Chaos can do," Laguna said, nodding in Cloud's direction.

"We should try to avoid travelling alone. If manikins like that show up again, the more level heads we have, the better," Bartz added. The others nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm up for training. How 'bout you guys?" Zidane asked, pushing himself up off the ground.

"If you promise to be careful on that leg o' yours, then I'm in," Laguna agreed, getting up as well.

"Right now?" Cloud asked.

"You're the one who said we needed to be ready, weren't you?" Laguna reminded him. He gave Cloud a sturdy pat on the back before heading into the woods with Zidane. Yuna quickly followed behind them.

"You guys coming?" Bartz asked, walking backwards toward the trees so he could keep an eye on his friends.

"In a minute," Cloud answered. Bartz nodded before jogging off after the others.

Tidus became instantly uncomfortable as he realized he and Cloud were alone, and he quickly got up from the ground. He faked a stretch, and pretended he hadn't noticed it was just the two of them. Cloud could sense his discomfort; it was pretty easy when he was feeling it, too.

Cloud watched Tidus from his spot on the ground, and tried to gather the courage to speak. The night before, Cloud had been so angry. He had gone off into the woods, his thoughts in a flurry of rage, and in that moment, he had hated Tidus.

He had hated Tidus for mercilessly cutting down the false Zack, for preventing him from freeing himself of his life of torment and misery. Little did Tidus know, that Zack had been the only thing in months that had been able to calm and comfort Cloud's weary mind. But as the rage died down, and Cloud's rationality returned, he realized what a mistake it would have been if he had accepted the manikin's hand.

He would have died, and it wouldn't have been a hero's death, like Zack's. No, it would have been a death symbolizing weakness. Cloud would have given in, accepted death, even when in the depths of his mind, he knew it wasn't his beloved lost companion offering it to him. Tidus had saved him not only from death, but also from disappointing the real Zack. Most importantly, Tidus had saved him from breaking his precious promise to Zack to keep living, the promise he had made on the rocks outside Midgar as Zack lay dying before him.

Cloud didn't want to mention what had happened on the cliff the day before, but he couldn't deny now that he was thankful for what Tidus had done for him. Even after Cloud had said such hurtful things, Tidus had still come back for him, had held and comforted him in his weakest of moments. Cloud couldn't let that go without acknowledging Tidus' kindness.

"I wanted to thank you. For saving my life yesterday," Cloud spoke up.

Tidus' brows twitched a little in surprise. He had never expected Cloud to show any gratitude for yesterday's events. If anything, he'd expected Cloud to be angry with him for showing up. Tidus stared at Cloud, whose eyes were fixed on the forest in front of him, but Tidus could still detect the sincerity in his expression. After a moment, Tidus looked down and gave Cloud a small smile.

"Oh, that? It was no problem," he replied, honestly. Cloud nodded, and forced the tiniest smile he could manage as he turned toward Tidus. He waited a second, then opened his mouth again.

"This... doesn't change anything, though," he said, firmly, not wanting to give Tidus the wrong idea.

"I know. It's okay," Tidus answered, simply.

His soft smile remained on his lips, and Cloud relaxed as he realized he may have underestimated Tidus' maturity. Tidus wasn't pushing for them to be anything more than companions; knowing that made Cloud feel safer than he had in days.

"Are you okay?" Tidus asked, suddenly. "I mean, I know you don't want to talk about yesterday, but..."

"I'm okay," Cloud said, with a quick nod. He was lying, of course, but Tidus didn't have to know that.

"I think I knew from the beginning that it wasn't Zack, but the more he talked, the more I..." Cloud trailed off, not quite sure why he had begun to elaborate on the uncomfortable topic.

"Believed him?" Tidus asked.

"No," Cloud solemnly replied. "The more I _wanted_ to believe him."

"I know how you feel," Tidus said, his half-smile returning to his face.

Cloud didn't want to pry for further details about Tidus' manikin encounter; he knew what it was like to be the victim of such intrusions, and he didn't want to force it on anyone else. Instead, he let out a sigh as he rose to his feet.

"We should go train with the others," he announced.

"So, you and I... We're okay, right? We're cool?" Tidus asked, holding his breath, eyes curious.

Cloud stared at him. There was a hopeful gleam in his eyes, and Cloud didn't have the heart nor the will to disappoint him. Cloud's lips curled into a small smile for Tidus' sake.

"Yeah, we're good," Cloud uttered, trying to hide the hurt that still played in the back of his mind. Tidus returned the smile as they followed their friends into the forest.

* * *

The group felt confident that there were no manikins nearby, as the loud clanging of their weapons surely would have attracted an onslaught otherwise. Laguna and Zidane were the first to spar while the rest of the group stood back a few metres, watching their every move in hopes of learning something.

Laguna was quick on his feet, but Zidane still wasn't back to his usual energetic self. He was favouring his injured leg and it seemed that in no time flat, Laguna had pinned him to the ground, his gunblade pointed at his comrade's neck.

"You'd better take it easy, little man," Laguna said, removing his blade from its threatening position, and stretching out his hand to Zidane, who grudgingly accepted the help.

"Just you wait..." Zidane mumbled. Bartz elbowed Zidane playfully as the two returned to the sidelines.

"Alright, Tidus, how 'bout you and me?" Bartz asked, with a grin. He strolled out into what had become the designated training space, spinning his sword with playful confidence. Tidus smirked at him.

"If you're taking on an ace," he started, swiftly removing his shirt and pauldron and letting them fall to the ground. "You'd better be prepared to lose." Tidus entered the makeshift battle ring, giving Bartz a cocky grin as he began to bounce on the spot, sword in hand.

Cloud was slightly taken aback by Tidus' sudden removal of clothing, and he glanced around uncomfortably to see if anyone else was as surprised as he was. When no one seemed to think anything of it, Cloud decided he was probably just over-thinking things thanks to Tidus' recent interest in him. But as Cloud watched him move, the sun gleaming over his speckled bronze skin and his muscles tensing and twitching with each quick manoeuvre, he started to wonder if that interest would always remain one-sided.

After a few minutes of an equal duel, Bartz thought up a way to best his opponent. His sword flashed and changed into a weapon identical to Tidus'. Tidus' jaw dropped as he eyed the duplicate Brotherhood blade, its brilliant shade of blue shining brightly in the sunlight.

"That's no fair, Bartz," Tidus whined, prepping himself for even more action.

Bartz charged at him, grinning as he went to make his attack. Thinking quickly, Tidus stuck his foot out in front of him. Apparently, Bartz wasn't prepared for such a simple technique. He immediately tripped and landed face-first on the ground, his blade vanishing from within his grasp as his power dwindled. He looked up to hear Zidane laughing from the sidelines.

"Good one, Tidus," the genome smiled, giving Tidus a high-five as he approached.

"Yeah, good one, Tidus," Bartz smirked as he got up, giving Tidus a smack in the back of the head. Tidus groaned and rubbed his poor skull, then chuckled.

"You wanna go, Yuna?" Tidus asked, offering the girl a hand.

"No, that's alright. Someone else can go first," she replied, with a small smile, thankful that he had been kind enough to ask her.

"Cloud, what about you?" Cloud looked up in surprise when Tidus said his name, and he gave a quick nod as he followed Tidus into the training circle.

The elder of the two removed his sword from his back and got into battle stance, watching Tidus carefully as he started to circle him. Cloud parried as Tidus lay three strikes against him, then he spun around backwards, giving himself an opportunity to strike once at Tidus. Cloud shouldn't have been surprised when his athletic opponent easily dodged his attack, but he was.

Tidus grinned when he saw the look of shock on Cloud's face. Cloud was obviously impressed by his abilities. Tidus watched as Cloud recovered and took another swing at him. This time, Tidus raised his sword to block the attack, and as their blades locked, so did their eyes.

They pushed their weight against their swords in an attempt to disarm one another. Tidus sustained his cocky grin, hoping it would somehow wear Cloud down. That was when he noticed it—a competitive gleam in Cloud's eye. Cloud was actually enjoying himself.

Tidus couldn't help but smile even more, and Cloud took that opportunity to give a good shove against his sword. Tidus lost his balance and went tumbling backwards onto the ground. He stared up at Cloud for a moment, obvious shock on his face. Cloud tried to fight the sprightly smile that wanted to break free as he offered a hand to his companion. Tidus smirked and yanked the proud winner to the ground with him.

Cloud was stunned by the unexpected tactic, and landed on his hands and knees above Tidus with a grunt. He shook his head, and opened his eyes only to have them meet with Tidus' again.

Tidus stayed extremely still. Cloud wasn't moving, so neither was he. Cloud looked so mesmerized, Tidus was sure he might startle him were he to move. It was for that reason he stayed put, just watching Cloud's eyes as they stared into his own. He thought he should feel scared, trapped beneath Cloud's frozen body like that, but he didn't—that kind of scared him more.

Cloud's hands were just inches above Tidus' bare shoulders. His knees were on either side of Tidus' legs. They weren't quite touching, but Tidus felt as if they were. They were certainly close, and the way Cloud was staring at him only made him feel closer. Tidus did his best to keep calm—to steady his thumping heart, still his adrenaline-filled limbs, maintain his tranquil gaze.

"Are you hurt, Cloud?" Laguna asked, proceeding forward and placing a hand on Cloud's shoulder. Cloud jumped as he was thrown out of his trance. He tried to suppress the heat that was suddenly rising to his cheeks as he clambered off of Tidus and rose to his feet.

"Yeah, just a little," he lied, clutching his shoulder as if he'd injured it. Cloud avoided his gaze, as well as the gazes of everyone else, but Tidus watched him intently, wishing he could make sense of what had just happened.

He and Cloud returned to the sidelines, and the next competitors entered the ring, but Tidus couldn't focus on their battle. He could still sense Cloud's strong discomfort, even though he stood a few feet away. Tidus wanted to talk to him, but feared their conversation would once again end in hurt. Instead, he averted his gaze and attempted once again to concentrate on the duel between Bartz and Zidane. Maybe he was analyzing the incident too hard. Maybe Cloud really was hurt and he had misread him, but if that was the case, then why was Cloud so flushed?

* * *

Evening came, and everyone was pretty exhausted after the long day of training. By the time they had finished, everyone had had a turn sparring with everyone else. Now, Yuna sat by the waterfall with Bartz and Zidane, healing Zidane's leg as much as she could with her magic. It would probably consume the rest of her strength for the day, but she didn't mind if it would take Zidane one step closer to a full recovery. Laguna, Cloud, and Tidus sat around the fire, trying to let their meal settle in their stomachs before they turned in for the night.

Tidus was still fixated on what had happened earlier in the training session with Cloud, and he had since spent every hour thinking about what it could have meant—the way Cloud had frozen over him, the way their eyes had remained so deeply locked. Could Cloud have felt something for him? Tidus wished so badly for that to be true, but he wouldn't let himself get his hopes up because it sure didn't seem likely.

At the same time, it was hard _not_ to be just a little optimistic. The events of the afternoon had renewed Tidus' determination, and he found himself wanting to try yet again to make a move with Cloud. He knew it was risky, but if he were to proceed with caution...

Tidus was scared of making a move that might send Cloud spiralling away from him once again, but waiting around was difficult. Besides, Tidus seemed to be back in Cloud's good books. Leaving opportunities untouched seemed like sort of a waste.

Tidus' thoughts flip-flopped back and forth. One minute, he thought he might just ask Cloud what had happened during the training session. The next minute, he was telling himself to back off completely and give Cloud some time on his own, but it was Zidane's earlier advice that won out in the end.

Tidus wanted to try to pursue Cloud once again, but didn't want to make any more advances until he found out all he could about Cloud's relationship past. Perhaps if he asked Cloud about Tifa, then he would be given some clue, some morsel of information that might point him in the right direction. He needed to know how Cloud felt about her, how he felt about this Zack person—which, let's just say, Tidus had his fair share of suspicions about—and how he felt about love in general. Maybe if Tidus asked the right questions—the ones that would give him answers without upsetting Cloud—then he would figure out whether he was wasting his time hoping that, by some miracle, things might work out.

Tidus wasn't the only one trying to figure out the afternoon's events. Cloud's nerves remained in a tight bundle, and no matter how hard he tried to relax, he couldn't shake the unsettled feeling. He was ashamed for having hovered so long above Tidus' body, and the more he thought about why he had paused there, the less it made sense. He honestly couldn't understand why he'd found himself unable to pull away. Was it because he missed Zack? Because he missed being close to someone? Or had he found comfort in Tidus' eyes?

To be honest, he _had_ seen something. As he'd gazed into those sea blue irises, he'd discovered how gentle they were, how pure. Unlike Cloud's own, Tidus' eyes were a natural blue, untouched by the dangerous effects of mako. Those eyes, though still an extraordinarily vibrant color, were innocent. Safe. They had never been near the horrors of Shinra. Cloud felt that if he weren't careful, he could get easily get lost in them again.

So, had he felt something for Tidus? Cloud certainly didn't think he felt anything. Tidus could be really sweet sometimes, but Cloud had never thought of him _that_ way, even after he'd learned of Tidus' feelings for him. That didn't mean Cloud had never thought of Tidus as being attractive. He most certainly had.

Tidus was undeniably beautiful. Sure, sometimes he ruined it by opening his loud mouth, but he also had qualities that would make even the finest of men envious. Cloud was ashamed that so many of those qualities he'd noticed were physical: Tidus' blond hair that had been so perfectly highlighted by the sun, all those light browns mixed in with blonds; his tanned skin which reminded Cloud of a sandy beach, and of course, those eyes—his safe, extraordinary blue eyes.

Cloud dove deeper into his thoughts. He felt as if he were cutting away at fragile pieces of his mind as he tried to knife through his emotions. Tidus. How did he really feel about Tidus? All he knew was that their rapport was the most confusing one he'd ever tried to sort through. Tidus had done so much for him: cheering him up as best he could when things were bad, saving his life from time to time, and just smiling when Cloud didn't have the strength to do the same. Zidane had been right; Cloud _did_ care about Tidus. Cloud just wasn't sure what that meant for them.

Cloud wasn't even sure how he would continue to act normally when he was so befuddled by the unnamed bond between himself and Tidus, but he found his thoughts wandering back to something his mother used to say. _Try to act normally if something is wrong. That way, things might just blow over._ Cloud hoped that would be the case here _._ The best he could do was try.

Tidus looked up when Laguna got up from the ground and stretched his arms above his head. He yawned and ruffled both Tidus' and Cloud's hair as they sat on either side of him.

"Well, I'm off to bed, kiddos," he smiled. Tidus and Cloud sheepishly patted their hair down, hoping Laguna hadn't messed it up too badly.

"Think I'll hit the hay, too," Bartz said, standing up and helping Zidane to his feet along with Yuna.

"Yeah, it's been a long day," Zidane yawned. Laguna headed for his tent, and Yuna followed him after imparting a quiet goodnight to everyone.

"You guys turning in?" Bartz asked, as he and Zidane approached the two by the fire.

"I think I will," Cloud said, getting up from the ground.

"Actually, Cloud, can I talk to you for a sec?" Tidus asked, feeling his heart flutter even at such a simple request. He saw Bartz and Zidane exchange small, knowing smiles.

"We'll get your bedroll set up for you, Cloud," Bartz said, pulling a reluctant Zidane into the alcove with him.

Cloud tried to ignore the feeling of dread that swirled around inside him. He stood awkwardly beside the fire for a moment, and Tidus patted the ground beside him, hoping Cloud would relax enough to sit down again. Eventually, he did, but left a sizable space between them. Cloud kept his eyes on the fire as he opened his mouth to speak.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, um, just wanted to make sure you weren't hurt too badly today," Tidus said, though he honestly didn't think an injury was Cloud's reason for hovering above him for so long.

"I'm fine," Cloud answered quickly, hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

"And your wound from the other day, is that okay?"

Cloud put a hand over the bandage that Tidus had applied himself.

"Yeah, it's better."

Tidus didn't speak again right away, but Cloud felt confident that if he were to try and leave, Tidus would stop him.

"Cloud, can I ask you something?"

"I guess so," Cloud answered, but felt so hesitant.

"About you and Tifa. The way Zidane tells it, you two go back a ways," Tidus started.

He paused, waiting for a response from Cloud. The elder sighed, slightly confused by such a question. He was also a little relieved, considering the circumstances—at least Tidus wasn't asking about Zack.

"The way Zidane tells it? He's not always the most reliable source," Cloud speculated.

"Is it true, though?" Tidus asked. Cloud hesitated, honestly having no idea why Tidus would want to know such a thing.

"We _did_ grow up together," he eventually replied. Tidus expected him to elaborate, but he remained silent.

"But you two never... You were never a couple?" Tidus asked, carefully, still iffy about prying. He was almost positive Cloud would catch on.

"We were just friends," Cloud shrugged. Tidus suppressed a sigh of relief. So, Zidane had been right about that.

"You didn't like her that way, or what?"

"Things changed after I joined the army," Cloud explained.

"Oh yeah? Didn't want a long distance relationship, huh?" Tidus asked, hoping he was getting somewhere. A long pause followed, and when Cloud couldn't stand Tidus' eyes on him any longer, he opened his mouth again.

"There was someone else," he reluctantly admitted. Tidus swallowed hard, afraid to ask who that someone was. He was quiet for a moment, choosing his next question wisely.

"Was she pretty?" Tidus asked.

Cloud didn't respond. Tidus cast a few darting glances Cloud's way, waiting for an answer, while Cloud kept his eyes on the ground. He hesitated, his suspicions growing by the second.

"Tidus, you remember what I said before, right? Nothing's going to change between us," Cloud answered, feeling yet another uncomfortable knot forming in his stomach as he dodged Tidus' question. Tidus looked at him once more, his spirits dampening a little, but he didn't let it show.

"Oh, I know. I was honestly... just curious, that's all. Sorry," the younger man smiled.

"It's okay," Cloud said, pushing himself to stand. Tidus watched as Cloud stood there, staring up at the sky. As soon as Tidus' gaze fell back down, Cloud placed a gentle hand on Tidus' shoulder.

"I'm sorry things worked out this way," Cloud told his companion, softly. Tidus turned his head to stare at the hand on his shoulder, surprised by Cloud's act of compassion. He smiled, but it hurt.

"Me, too," he said, slowly, honestly, though he was unsure of the proper response. Cloud seemed content with his answer, and he forced a hint of a smile before giving Tidus' shoulder a pat.

"Goodnight, Tidus," he said, making his way toward the alcove. Tidus closed his eyes and tried his very hardest to soak up the lingering warmth of Cloud's touch.

"Goodnight, Cloud," he whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I forgot to mention this in the beginning, and thought I should point it out: I know that in Dissidia, the characters don't have any (or very few) memories of their homeworld, but for this story, I thought it would be better to have it so they did. I wanted to see how Cloud would deal with his feelings for Zack while going through this whole thing with Tidus, and I didn't know how that would work if Cloud got his memories back after the fact.
> 
> That could be something I explore in the future—Cloud slowly falling for Tidus (but is hesitant because he has these fragments of memories from his homeworld, but can't remember clearly), then getting his memories back and feeling guilty about Zack. But, that's off-topic.
> 
> Can't wait to hear your thoughts on this chapter's new developments! Thanks for reading/reviewing!


	10. Patched

**Chapter 10: Patched**

"Well, there's the sleepy head," Laguna greeted, as Cloud emerged from the alcove the next morning. Everyone was sitting around the fire pit, and Cloud ran a hand through his dishevelled bed-hair as he proceeded toward the group.

"Sleeping late again, huh?" Bartz smiled, as Cloud sat down between him and Yuna. Cloud swallowed the memories of his dream-filled slumber, and nodded.

"Guess I needed the rest," he replied, simply.

To be honest, Cloud had slept a little more soundly than he would have liked, and although he'd still dreamed of Zack, the visions he'd seen were at least peaceful ones. For once, the most painful part of his slumber had been waking up.

"Cloud, we were talking about exploring the places where you and Tidus encountered the manikins," Yuna spoke up, bringing Cloud out of his thoughts.

"Oh?" Cloud asked, trying to keep himself still, though his body fought desperately to tense up.

"Yeah, our ghosty-manikins showed up here at the campsite. I searched for any remains of them this morning, but didn't find anything. You and Tidus encountered your little munchkins out in the forest, so maybe there's something there," Laguna replied, a hand resting leisurely on his thigh while the other waved expressively in the air.

"And what exactly are you expecting to find?" Cloud frowned.

"Proof that it really is manikins we're dealing with? It just seemed like a strange encounter. We thought there might be more to it," Laguna explained.

Cloud showed his agreement with silence. He shuddered at the thought of going back to that dreaded cliff, but he did want answers—anything that might tell him what that Zack figure was, and what his intentions were.

"When do we head out?" Zidane asked.

"After breakfast, I guess," Laguna replied, reaching into a small pail in front of him and gulping down a handful of berries.

Tidus dared a glance in Cloud's direction. Cloud's lips were pressed hard together, and there was a line between his brows which was obviously caused by stress, but Tidus could understand why; he felt the same way. Digging up the past wasn't always pleasant.

"You want something to eat, Cloud?" Bartz asked, with a glance at his companion. Cloud snapped out of his disquieting thoughts, and managed a small nod.

"Guess I should."

"Here ya go, Cloud," Zidane announced, as he got up from his spot.

Cloud could tell from his stance that his leg had improved some since the day before. Zidane collected something from the pail at his own feet, then strolled over to Cloud's side the fire, hand full. As he approached, he nodded for Cloud to open his hand, and Cloud did as requested.

"Breakfast," Zidane explained, as he passed over the contents. Cloud stared at the few squished raspberries that had landed in his palm and grimaced.

"Raspberries. Perfect," Cloud mumbled.

Most people couldn't tell Cloud's sarcastic voice from his usual one, but Tidus was pretty sure he could detect it. Tidus leaned his head forward to peek past Yuna, and noticed the red fruit, confirming his suspicions.

"Hey, Zidane, don't give him those. Cloud doesn't like raspberries, remember?" he spoke up, voice light and playful.

Cloud lifted his head enough to catch a glimpse of Tidus' boyish smile. Needless to say he was surprised by Tidus' not only out of the blue, but also _accurate_ observation. Zidane rolled his eyes at his Cloud-obsessed friend.

"Sorry, don't remember," Zidane sighed. Cloud looked up timidly as Tidus got up and approached him, offering him a palm full of blueberries.

"Go ahead," Tidus smiled. "I'll eat the squishy ol' red ones."

Laguna and Bartz began to chatter away about the manikin search, and with the attention now off of him and Tidus, Cloud felt comfortable enough to make the trade. Cloud gave Tidus a nod, and Tidus poured his blueberries into Cloud's hand, while collecting the raspberries for himself.

"How did you know?" Cloud asked, startling even himself when he felt a hint of an amusement dancing on his lips.

"You told me months ago," Tidus fibbed, his smile twitching slightly. Cloud had told him no such thing; Tidus just remembered the way Cloud's nose had crinkled up in disgust when Cloud had eaten those bittersweet, red berries.

"I don't remember," Cloud shrugged. "But, anyway, thanks."

"No problem," Tidus grinned, as he headed back to his seat by the fire.

Cloud eyed the berries in his palm, then gracefully popped a couple into his mouth, revelling in the sweet and delicious taste. He felt a foreign feeling of contentment from the simple gesture of kindness. Cloud had never expected his fellow Cosmos warriors to notice such trivial things about him, as Cloud made a point of saying and doing very little in order to avoid attention, but right now, he was thankful for it. He knew Tidus probably paid a lot more attention to him than others did, but it still made Cloud's insides warm to know he was noticed, even for something as quirky as a dislike for those horrid little berries.

When Cloud looked up from his breakfast, he found Tidus staring back at him from across the fire. Tidus offered a gentle smile, and Cloud nodded once more in a silent thank you. Tidus averted his gaze then, recognizing that any lingering eye contact would most likely make Cloud feel awkward, but he was comforted to see that the signs of distress that had been etched into Cloud's features were now gone. He secretly prayed they would never return.

* * *

Tidus led the way to where he'd fought the figure of his mother. At least, he was pretty sure this was the place; the forest was as disorienting as ever, but he was quite certain he recognized his surroundings. The group spread out to search the area, analyzing every plant, rock, and tree for any remains of the ghost that had been there, but found nothing. No strands of blond hair, no scraps of clothing, not even any dust or crystalline remains from where Tidus had eliminated her.

Tidus had been unusually quiet as they explored the area, and although it shouldn't have come as a surprise that he would be upset, the other warriors were still half-expecting him to be upbeat about the situation. They didn't ask who he had seen—they simply left him alone to his thoughts—but Cloud knew, and he found himself keeping a careful eye on Tidus as they wandered. Whether he was doing it out of concern for Tidus, or simply to see if Tidus responded as emotionally as he had after facing his ghost, Cloud wasn't absolutely positive.

"Cloud?" Laguna spoke up.

"What is it?" Cloud asked, casting one last look at Tidus as he scoured some rocks, before proceeding to meet Laguna. Laguna stood between two trees, his eyes fixed on the path ahead.

"Tidus said you met your manikin on a cliff?" Laguna inquired. Cloud quietly gulped.

"Yes."

"Pretty steep, right? And no land visible on the other side?"

"Not that I could see. Too much fog on the other side."

"Right. I think Yuna and I came across it a few days ago," Laguna nodded. "Pretty sure I can find it again if I try."

"Oh. Good," Cloud lied.

"Well, will we head out then?" Zidane sighed, pushing himself up out of the thick clump of grass he was investigating.

"As long is Tidus is ready to go. Want to give him a minute if he needs some extra time to... Wait, where is Tidus?" Laguna frowned.

"Huh? He was just here. Tidus?" Bartz called out, giving up his fruitless search, and wiping his sweaty forehead as he got up from the ground. He raised a brow when the blond didn't reply.

"Tidus!" Yuna shouted from her position at a nearby tree. Cloud frowned and glanced around. The pile of rocks where Tidus had been mere minutes ago lay abandoned.

"Want me to go look?" Bartz asked, drawing everyone's gaze to him.

Cloud eyed Yuna as she stood by Bartz's side, her face twisted up in worry. He knew either one of them could comfort Tidus just as well—probably even better—than he could, but something was stirring inside him. Tidus had witnessed Cloud's reaction to his manikin, and had consoled him. Now Cloud wanted to do the same. He wanted to make sure Tidus was stronger than he was; he _hoped_ he was.

"It's alright," Cloud replied. "I'll go."

The others mumbled startled words of agreement, but Cloud ignored their surprise as he headed past Tidus' rock pile, and through the trees that lay ahead. He only had to walk for a minute or two before he found Tidus crouching down by a small stream. Cloud proceeded quietly, not wanting to alarm him as he approached from behind. He watched as Tidus delicately brushed a hand over a white-petalled flower that lay in his hand.

"This is for you, mom," he whispered, setting the lily afloat. "Hope you like it."

"Tidus?" Cloud spoke, voice soft. Tidus' head whipped around to look at him. His bewildered expression quickly faded, and he gave Cloud a shy smile.

"Oh, it's you."

"We didn't know where you went," Cloud told him.

"Sorry. I just needed a minute," Tidus replied, lightly dragging his gloved fingers back and forth through the water in front of him. His eyes followed the white lily as it floated slowly down the stream, and Cloud found himself staring after it. It was certainly a beautiful way of remembering someone, a ritual filled with such sentiment.

"I know, looking for traces of these manikins—or whatever they are—isn't easy," Cloud acknowledged.

"I know she wasn't real," Tidus spoke up, his eyes still on the water. He couldn't look at Cloud right then. He couldn't bear for him to see such a vulnerable side of him, not yet. Luckily for him, Cloud didn't see him as showing any weakness.

Cloud could hear that his comrade's voice contained sadness, but unlike Cloud, there were no tears. Cloud wondered if perhaps with Tidus, there were never any tears; maybe he simply grieved in a different way. He could set that lily afloat as tribute to someone he'd lost, smiling softly, expressing his loneliness with positivity—Cloud found it a comforting thought.

"But it was still hard to see her. And I feel like I let her down, you know?" Tidus went on. "She said she wanted me to join Chaos along with my dad, and I... I said no. I fought her instead."

"Are you doubting yourself?" Cloud asked, heart leaping into his throat as he sought the answer.

"No, not really. I know I did the right thing. Those ghosts were our enemies, right?" Tidus asked.

Cloud shivered as he thought back to his own manikin. Even if it had wanted to get him killed, it had still _looked_ like Zack, and it was hard to think that Zack could be his enemy in any way. When Cloud didn't reply, Tidus let out a soft chuckle.

"Guess it's too late to be reconsidering, anyway, huh?"

"Guess so," Cloud replied.

He turned his attention toward Tidus' lily, almost out of sight now as it made its way to a bend in the stream. Cloud released a small sigh as he sat down beside his companion. Tidus glanced at him fleetingly.

"Were you and your mother very close?" Cloud asked cautiously, hoping to offer some comfort.

"Yes, and no," Tidus replied, not seeming to mind that Cloud had posed a personal question. He thrust a hand through his hair as he gathered his words.

"She raised me mostly on her own. Dad was gone a lot of the time, and was drunk most of the rest. But whenever he came home from a long time away, he and my mom would talk for hours. When that happened, it was hard to get their attention. Even my mom, she... hardly noticed me when Dad was around."

Cloud frowned slightly; the response was somewhat shocking to him. It was hard to picture someone as seemingly cheerful and carefree as Tidus to have a tough upbringing. He'd always imagined Tidus being raised under constant sunlight and love.

"Sounds difficult," Cloud spoke up, letting Tidus know he was listening. Tidus sat back and pulled his legs up against his chest. He nestled his chin atop his knees, and let out a sigh.

"After my old man went missing, Mom was never the same. She stopped eating and didn't even speak much, and eventually she..." Tidus trailed off, but he saw Cloud nod out of the corner of his eye, letting him know he didn't need to finish that sentence in order to be understood.

"Guess that's why I hate my old man so much."

"That's right. You plan to fight him, don't you?" Cloud questioned.

"Mm-hmm," Tidus nodded.

A couple more quiet seconds passed, and the silence made Tidus realize how deep in conversation they had been. He shook his head timidly; he had given Cloud a lot of information, and he hoped he hadn't bored him.

"Sorry," he said, with a chuckle. "Didn't mean to ramble on like that."

"It's alright. I was the one who asked," Cloud reminded him, forcing a half-smile. "Besides, sometimes it's good to vent."

They continued to sit in peaceful silence as minute after minute passed. Cloud stole several glances in Tidus' direction, admiring the way Tidus maintained the soft smile that graced his lips. In moments like these, Cloud enjoyed Tidus' company. He liked listening to Tidus talk, because he knew Tidus never expected him to reply with much, and right now, he felt he was learning from Tidus. He couldn't help but envy Tidus' ability to speak so freely about his past. It seemed so easy for him, even with the memories of the false manikin encounter so fresh in his mind.

Even considering their rough patches, Cloud's thoughts kept coming back to the same point: Tidus had proven himself on that cliff. He had proven that he cared for Cloud, that he was willing to help when Cloud was in danger, even when things were less than amiable between them. Even now, they maintained a mutual bond, always making sure the other was okay, despite the complexities that lay under the surface. That was true friendship, and it was enough. If they could stay like they were now, Cloud would be content.

Their silent repose sped to an unexpected halt as a shout rang out in the distance. They exchanged nervous glances, and leapt up from their positions, leaving their peaceful moment behind, though both felt it had ended too soon.

"Sounds like trouble," Tidus huffed, drawing his sword.

"Let's go," Cloud nodded, darting into the forest.

* * *

"Watch out!" Zidane shouted.

The gigantic Malboro opened its wide mouth and unleashed a breath of sickly green air. The group did their best to guard against the attack, then jumped back into action, hacking away at the giant beast. Tidus jumped into the air, and bounced off the enemy's head before releasing Energy Rain. Beams of white light shot into the creature, making it screech.

"Get it now!" Cloud yelled. Bartz and Zidane charged in, finishing the creature off in a few slick movements. They backed off as it squirmed and collapsed in a smelly mound in front of their eyes.

"Whew!" Bartz sighed, falling down on his backside. "What a fight."

"You're telling me! You sent Cloud and I to fight one of those on our own, remember?" Tidus smirked, flicking Bartz in the back of the head. "Thanks for that."

"Oh right. You're very welcome," Bartz teased, smiling sweetly. Cloud released a heavy breath as he slung the Buster Sword onto his back.

"Where are the others?" he asked.

"Laguna went to check out the cliff along with Yuna," Zidane replied. Cloud nodded, stomach flipping with concern, fearing they might find something there. The only blessing was that he wouldn't have to investigate the cliff himself.

"I take it you didn't find anything else here?" Cloud asked.

"Nope, nothing," Bartz replied.

"Figures," Tidus sighed, though he was just as relieved. Too many reminders of home, and he probably wouldn't be able to hold it together so well.

Bartz turned his head when he saw Cloud flinch out of the corner of his eye. Cloud frowned as a sharp pain shot through his head, like a needle. It was gone as quickly as it had come, but Cloud rubbed gingerly at his temple where the initial sting had been. The others noticed his discomfort.

"You okay?" Zidane frowned.

"Yeah. Sudden headache, but it's gone," Cloud announced.

Laguna and his summoning companion came into view, making their way through the maze of trees.

"Anything?" Tidus asked.

"Yep. You're never gonna believe this," Laguna answered, sounding serious.

He headed straight for a clump of small flowers that they had only quickly analyzed during their little hunt. He waved his friends over, and they hunched in a circle around him.

"See this?" Laguna said, pointing to one of the flowers.

Its thick green stem was long, and the bottom of the flower was hugged by large green leaves. The blossom itself was purple, with big petals and yellow pistils and stamens growing from the centre.

"Don't touch it," Laguna instructed, putting a cautioning hand out to the others. "If it's disturbed, its pollen will disorient you."

"Disorient?" Zidane questioned.

"Make your head all funny," Laguna replied.

"It makes it hard to think straight," Yuna added.

"How do you know?" Tidus asked, leaning his head forward to get a better look, though it was a little difficult to do without bumping heads with someone else.

"Before I started travelling with Yuna, I ran into Onion Knight and Terra. They warned me about these flowers. They release a pollen that can temporarily alter your way of thinking, or meddle with your perceptions," Laguna explained.

"In other words, make you a little loopy?" Bartz asked, raising a brow.

"That's the idea," Laguna agreed. "Can't believe it didn't occur to me 'til now, but I'll bet these are the flowers they were talking about."

Cloud bit his lip as the significance of the information sunk in.

"Were these flowers on the cliff?" Cloud asked.

"There were a few, yes," Yuna replied.

"And did they look like they had been... disturbed?"

Laguna glanced across the circle of heads, and could clearly see the look of disdain on Cloud's face. Unfortunately, he wasn't sure which answer Cloud was hoping to hear. Laguna pushed himself to stand up, and the others followed his lead, leaving the flower patch alone. They dispersed, talking amongst themselves, and glancing around the woods once more—this time, looking for the correct direction back to camp. Cloud's eyes were still on Laguna, waiting for an answer. Laguna simply tossed an arm around Cloud's neck.

"Don't you worry about those munchkins," he grinned. "They probably won't show up again for a while anyway."

"Laguna," Cloud said, sternly, shrugging the man off of him. "I want to know." Laguna let out a heavy breath, and his head fell to the side in dismay, like he really didn't want to speak up, but Cloud sure didn't look like he wanted to be sheltered from the truth.

"The plants did look like they'd lost some pollen. A couple of flowers looked like they'd been brushed through," Laguna explained. Cloud's face twinged as his expression threatened to sadden.

"Hey, don't feel bad. You weren't the only one. There are trampled flowers over there, too," Laguna said, pointing a finger toward another clump of flowers that lay a few feet away. Cloud swallowed hard, knowing those must have been the ones Tidus had run into.

"And I'll bet you anything, there are some back at camp, too," the brunet finished. He gave Cloud's shoulder a pat as he strode off. Cloud hoped Tidus hadn't heard the conversation, but when he looked behind him and saw Tidus staring at the patch of disarrayed flowers, he knew he had.

Tidus caught Cloud's eye only for a second, then he lowered his head and rubbed his arm timidly. Cloud recognized his nervous habit immediately, and took a few steps towards him. Cloud opened his mouth, searching for words of comfort, but he couldn't think of any. They were all in the same boat, had all fallen for the same trap. Cloud, for the life of him, couldn't think of anything to say that would make the situation better. Thankfully, not everyone was as speechless.

"Guess we'll just have to stay on the lookout for more of those stupid geraniums," Zidane muttered, loudly.

"Right. Let's just be on the alert for next time," Bartz agreed, but his attention shot toward Cloud as Cloud's hand flew to his head once again.

"You sure you're okay?" Bartz asked him.

"Oh, yeah," Cloud assured him, frowning as he rubbed tenderly at his head again. "I'm fine."

"Should we head back?" Yuna asked, eyeing her companions.

"Guess we should. Need to formulate a new plan," Laguna agreed, giving a wave for her to follow him as he headed back in the direction of the camp.

The four remaining warriors followed suit, but Tidus and Cloud lagged behind. They needed that extra minute to put their lingering emotions to rest, emotions caused by those dreaded battles with their beloved ghosts.

* * *

Things were quiet once the warriors made it back to the campsite. Zidane admitted his leg was aching a little, so Yuna took him into the alcove to heal him for a while. Laguna and Tidus were getting the fire ready to cook up something for lunch, and Cloud and Bartz sat at the edge of the bank, watching the waterfall.

"Hope Zidane's doing okay in there," Bartz said, quickly scanning the alcove before looking back at the water.

"I'm sure he's fine. He seems pretty resilient," Cloud said. Bartz smiled.

"Yeah, he is."

A frown fell upon Bartz's face as Cloud's eyes scrunched closed.

"Something wrong?" Bartz asked. It took Cloud a minute to recover, and he looked a tad pale when his eyes finally opened again.

"Yeah, I'm just... not feeling the best," he reluctantly divulged.

He'd been feeling sicker and sicker ever since that headache had struck him earlier, but as always, he didn't want to let on. His companions had enough on their plates without having to worry about him, too, but this feeling of malaise was getting hard to ignore.

"You don't look the best either," Bartz observed. "Your face is pretty white."

"I'm sure I'll be fine," Cloud tried to convince his friend, but Bartz wasn't so easily persuaded.

"Hey, Laguna. Come here a sec, will you?" he called. Laguna and Tidus looked up from their half-completed tinder pile. Laguna wiped his forehead on his sleeve and proceeded toward his companions by the waterside.

"What's up, guys?" Laguna asked, but he didn't need a response once he'd caught a glimpse of Cloud.

"Oh, you don't look so good."

"That's what I thought," Bartz agreed.

"I'm sure I'm okay. It'll probably pass," Cloud tried once again, but his words were followed by a shiver. Needless to say, no one seemed convinced.

"Are you sick, Cloud?" came Tidus' worried voice. He walked up and peeked around Laguna to see Cloud's pale face. Cloud briefly met Tidus' eyes.

"It seems so," Cloud sighed.

"When did you start feeling sick?" Laguna asked, the knees of his pants getting a little wet as he knelt in the water in front of Cloud. He inspected Cloud's face once more, before reaching for his wrist and pressing his fingers hard against it.

"Pulse is strong. That's good," he announced.

"This afternoon. I started feeling sick after fighting that Malboro," Cloud informed his companions; they exchanged suspicious glances.

"Malboro?" Bartz repeated.

"Maybe you were poisoned, Cloud," Tidus spoke up. Cloud opened his mouth to deny it, but the more the information settled in his brain, the more it made sense.

"Yeah," Cloud said, quietly. "Maybe so." His stabbing headaches, his pale face and shivering body—the symptoms added up.

"Alright, antidotes, anyone?" Laguna asked.

"We're all out," Bartz replied, with a sorry shake of his head.

"I'll check our supplies, but I think we're out, too," Laguna added. Tidus was quick to speak up.

"I can make one." All heads turned toward the young blond.

"You can? How?" Bartz asked.

"My dad taught me years ago. I'll have to find some ingredients, but I know I can do it," Tidus promised them. Cloud stared up at his companion.

"You don't need to trouble yourself. I'm sure some rest will cure it," he assured him.

"It's no trouble," Tidus smiled. "I just need to grab a few things from the forest, and it'll be made in no time."

"Okay," Cloud hesitantly agreed. Tidus gave him a thumbs-up before grabbing his sword from beside the fire. Bartz got up and brushed himself off.

"I'll go with him. Don't want him getting lost," he grinned, as he took off after Tidus.

"Those are some great friends you have," Laguna laughed, standing up and giving Cloud a pat on the shoulder. Cloud turned his head to see Bartz and Tidus disappear into the forest.

"Yeah, they are," he nodded, softly.

* * *

It took an hour for Tidus to get the antidote ready. Cloud sat against the outside wall of the alcove now, his head resting limply against the rock. When poison spread, it spread fast. The aches in Cloud's head had travelled downward through his body, making his arms and legs throb as well. He was cold, yet he sweat hot beads of perspiration. By the time Tidus knelt at his side with his medicine, Cloud was more than thankful that he had agreed to letting him prepare the treatment.

"Here, drink this," Tidus said, softly, holding a teacup out to Cloud. Cloud reached out and accepted the cup, eyeing the plant residue that was caked around the outsides. The beverage's deep green colour would have turned his stomach if Cloud hadn't already been feeling sick.

"I know, it looks gross," Tidus laughed.

"That's an understatement," Cloud uttered, staring into the cup.

"Do you trust me?" Tidus asked, causing Cloud to look up at him. Tidus held his breath, awaiting an answer. He hoped Cloud couldn't see how much that question meant to him.

Cloud paused, repeating the question over to himself in his head. Did he trust Tidus? He was a little surprised by his answer, but he went with his gut. The past few days had made it clear.

"Yes," Cloud replied, truthfully.

"Then drink up," Tidus smiled, hiding the extent of his joy.

Cloud nodded, and brought the cup to his lips. Under the circumstances, he was willing to try anything to rid himself of the illness. To his surprise, the antidote tasted a lot better than he thought it would. Obviously, Tidus had added a sweetener to the mix, probably for his sake.

"Wow. I'm... shocked," Cloud admitted, a tiny smile forming on his lips.

"Doesn't taste too bad, does it?" Tidus asked.

"No, it doesn't."

Tidus continued to smile, and turned his head to watch the waterfall as Cloud downed the rest of the medicine, not wanting to stare too long at his poor, sick companion; he looked uncomfortable enough as it was. Cloud set the teacup down beside him once he had finished, and turned his attention to Tidus.

"You said your father taught you to make that?" Cloud asked.

"Oh, yeah," Tidus nodded, his gaze fluttering back to Cloud. "I started playing Blitzball at an early age, and the rules aren't exactly clean."

"You mean, you're allowed to poison other players?" Cloud frowned.

"Yep. That's why you gotta know how to heal," Tidus explained. He grinned a moment later, and Cloud couldn't help but release a small smile in return; Tidus' optimism sure was amazing sometimes.

"Guess your father wasn't all bad," Cloud commented. Tidus smirked.

"He had his moments, I guess."

"Well, thanks for the antidote, Tidus," Cloud spoke up again, raising the empty teacup once more to emphasize his point.

"No problem. It usually works pretty fast, so don't be surprised if you start getting better within the hour," Tidus said, pushing himself up from the ground. "Feel better, Cloud."

"Thank you," Cloud whispered.

He watched as Tidus headed into the alcove—probably to check on Zidane's progress—then drew his gaze to Laguna as he emerged from his tent, a small box tucked under his arm. He approached Cloud with a gentle smile on his face.

"How's the patient doin'?"

"I drank the antidote. Tidus said it shouldn't take too long to kick in," Cloud explained.

"Good," Laguna said, kneeling down in front of Cloud. "Look, I found this when I was checking through our stuff. Healing supplies. You name it, it's probably in there. Aside from antidotes, that is," he chuckled. "Yuna and I found two of these med kits, so you should take this one."

"Is this a hint?" Cloud smirked, slightly. "I'm getting hurt too much?"

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that," Laguna laughed, waving a hand in the air. "Just in case Yuna and I decide to go our separate way, I thought I should leave this with you four, and word has it, you're the best healer in the group."

"I'm not bad, I suppose," Cloud shrugged, his shoulders feeling slightly heavier than usual from the weight of the poison. "Are you and Yuna thinking of leaving?"

"Well, no. Nothing's set in stone. I just know she finds it hard being here. With Tidus, and all," Laguna said, nodding his head in the direction of the alcove.

"Oh, of course. The breakup."

Cloud suddenly found his heart aching for Yuna and Tidus. Yuna was such a sweet girl. Cloud would never blame Tidus for breaking things off if the feelings just weren't there anymore, but Cloud couldn't help but want the best for his friends, for _Tidus_. A normal relationship. A normal life. That's all Cloud wanted for him.

He felt sorry that Tidus had fallen for him. He felt sorry that he might have had even a small part to play in keeping Tidus away from Yuna, but he forced himself to remember what Tidus had said. Even when he and Yuna had first reunited, he had known she was different, that things had changed between them. Maybe even if Tidus had never met Cloud, his relationship with Yuna wouldn't have lasted. Even so, he felt sorry for both of them. For Tidus, chasing after someone he couldn't have. And for Yuna, being forced to let go of someone who was so close and yet so far from being with her.

"Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you guys have all the supplies you need, just in case we take off soon," Laguna went on. "You want me to throw this in your bag for ya?"

"Mm, yeah, if you wouldn't mind. Thanks," Cloud said.

"Yeah, no problem," Laguna grinned, getting up from his position, and taking the white medical box inside the alcove. Cloud leaned his head back against the rock wall once more, and stared up at the sky. He drifted off to sleep within minutes as the soothing sensation of the antidote began to spread through his heavy limbs.

* * *

Nighttime came before they knew it. Bartz and Zidane were settling down for the night in the alcove. Laguna and Yuna were arranging some of their belongings in their tent. Tidus was tired, and debated turning in, but with Cloud still outside by himself, Tidus knew he wouldn't be able to relax enough to sleep. With quiet steps, Tidus made his way outside. He strolled toward the burning fire and sat down beside his silent companion. Cloud didn't need to look to know who it was.

"How are you feeling?" Tidus asked.

"Much better. Thanks," Cloud said.

After his afternoon's nap, Cloud's energy had returned, and his pain had left him. He continued to shiver from time to time, so Bartz eagerly got a fire going for him, and practically ordered him to stay beside it and warm up. Cloud did just that, busying himself with odd tasks like repairing the tear in his bedroll, and sorting through his supplies bag, but Cloud let the knapsack fall to the ground beside him as he settled into Tidus' company.

"You're welcome." Tidus smiled, and flopped down on his back to stare up at the black, starry sky. It was a beautiful sight, accompanied by the tranquil sounds of the waterfall.

"Tidus?" Cloud spoke up, surprising Tidus by breaking such a short silence.

"Yeah?" he asked. "What's up?"

Tidus could just make out the pained expression on Cloud's face from where he lay, and he propped himself up on his elbows to show his interest. Cloud was biting his lip, hard. It looked like he wanted to speak, but was trying hard to hold back.

"Cloud?" Tidus tried, when Cloud seemed to be having trouble forming any words.

"The other night. After what happened on the cliff, you said you would listen if I..." Cloud started.

"Yeah?" Tidus asked, gently. "You wanna talk?"

Cloud's gaze wandered, and he caught a glimpse of Tidus' face. Cloud could tell from Tidus' soft expression that he was more than willing to help, not that Cloud expected any different. Cloud cleared his throat, and laced his fingers tightly together. He hesitated, but forced himself to speak.

"Tidus, when you fought that manikin of your mother... You said you found it difficult, right?" Tidus was taken aback by the question, but he recovered as quickly as he could, and formed an answer.

"Yeah. I mean, it did look like her, and it hurt to disappoint her like that. But when she turned against me, I knew I had to fight," Tidus explained. Cloud nodded slowly. It was a satisfactory response, but it made Cloud feel small, powerless.

"I wonder... why I couldn't fight mine," Cloud said, voice quiet. Tidus watched Cloud's face carefully, taking in each sad twitch of his mouth.

"I don't know," Tidus admitted. He honestly didn't know enough about 'Zack' to come up with a good explanation; the best he could do was try. "Yours did try pretty hard to lead you on. He didn't turn on you, he was just..."

"Kind," Cloud finished, though he hated himself for it. He was sure Tidus was going to catch on soon if he wasn't careful, but somehow knew Tidus wouldn't think any less of him for his feelings.

"Kind," Tidus agreed, giving a nod. "But remember, those battles were hard on everyone, Cloud. You don't have to beat yourself up over it."

"I guess so." Cloud gave him a grateful nod. "I worry about that pollen, too. Our minds were most likely affected by it, but what does that mean?"

"That's been bothering me, too," Tidus admitted, and Cloud was a little relieved to hear it. "I wonder if that's what made us see... those people. Who knows? Maybe they were just plain old crystal manikins, and our brains made us think they were something else."

"I guess... that would make sense," Cloud said, voice low. If his mind was able to see what it wanted, then no doubt it would have created that image of Zack. There was nothing Cloud wanted more than to hear that voice, those words that would set him free from his misery.

"I know it's a little scary, but at least we're not the only ones who saw things. Means we're not crazy," Tidus reminded him, with a playful chuckle. Those words put Cloud at ease, and he managed a small smile, but his soft expression was quickly replaced with a frown as he rose to his feet, standing perfectly still.

"What's wrong?" Tidus asked, getting up just as fast, and glancing around. When they heard the sound of someone approaching, they swiftly drew their weapons and got into battle stance.

"I've got your back," Tidus promised. Cloud nodded again, knowing he shouldn't have to worry about Tidus in battle; he was one of the most skilled fighters Cloud knew, and after seeing him handle that manikin on the cliff...

Both waited for someone to approach, hoping the light of the fire would be enough for them to see during the fight ahead. Both froze as Kuja floated around the corner, a smirk on his face.

"And where is little Zidane tonight?"

Tidus was thankful when Bartz and Zidane immediately emerged from the alcove, weapons drawn. Zidane wore a ferocious scowl, but it only increased Kuja's smirk.

"Just walk the hell away, Kuja!" Zidane shouted, spit flying out of his mouth with his words.

"Aw, what's the matter, Zidane? Feeling under the weather?" the older genome asked. Obviously, he had noticed Zidane's injury.

"Doesn't matter. He's not fighting alone!" Laguna warned him, emerging from his tent with Yuna.

Laguna's gunblade was pointed toward Kuja, and Yuna wore a stern expression, staff clutched tightly in front of her. Kuja didn't look threatened. Everyone held their ground for what seemed like an eternity, then Kuja bolted forward to begin the fight.

The battle was disorienting and unsystematic thanks to the darkness and numerous fighters. Blurs of light and flashes of swords whirred in and out of the warriors' lines of vision. They haphazardly attacked, hoping to land some blows on the Chaos minion, but it was nearly impossible when so much was happening so fast.

Zidane cursed every time he missed the minion, and he kept catching glimpses of the man's evil smirk, making him even more furious. He heard Bartz give a groan, and he turned to look for him, knowing he'd been hurt.

"Yuna! Help Bartz!" Zidane shouted.

"Right," the girl replied, casting a healing spell in Bartz's direction. It was weak—Yuna had used up most of her energy healing Zidane earlier—but it was enough to keep Bartz fighting.

"Thanks!" Bartz called out.

The battle raged on, as disorganized as ever. Tidus caught sight of Kuja, and he panicked as he saw him head for Yuna, mustering a spell as he flew. The summoner held her staff in front of her, hoping it would shield her from the attack, but she knew it would not be of much help. She was the weakest of the warriors on a good day. She heard a sickening cry, and fell backwards as something collided with her. When the impact didn't hurt, she knew it hadn't been Kuja's magic that had hit her.

A loud popping sound pierced the darkness—most recognized it as an explosion of magic. Another cry followed, and Yuna quickly identified the voice. She felt sick as she concluded who had jumped in the way to save her.

"Tidus?" she asked, fearfully, feeling the ground beside her to try and find him. Bartz sent a spell spiralling into the campfire, making the flames fly higher, giving them more light. Cloud glanced over to where Yuna was, and he frowned when he saw blood sprinkled on her clothing.

"Tidus?" Yuna asked again, but the man beside her only howled in response. He was clutching his shoulder, and with all the blood covering it, Yuna couldn't even tell what had happened.

"Get him out of here!" Laguna shouted, repeating himself over and over again just to be sure he'd been heard.

Yuna held her breath when someone knelt down beside her, but she was relieved when she discovered it was Cloud. The strap of Cloud's supplies bag was slung hastily over his shoulder, and he pushed the Buster Sword onto his back before his hands reached for Tidus.

"I'll keep him safe," Cloud promised Yuna, as he pulled Tidus' good arm around his neck and hoisted him to his feet.

The girl nodded uncertainly, and watched as Cloud rushed away from the battlefield and into the woods. The summoner got to her feet and began healing her friends once again, while trying to ignore Tidus' bloodcurdling screams as they carried off into the distance.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ...Such suspense! Don't hate me! And sorry for the delay in updating; it was a busy couple of weeks, and I wanted to get this chapter nice and polished before I uploaded it because I really like this one. It's a long chapter, so hopefully it makes up for the longer wait this time:) Thanks as always to all readers/reviewers. You are a huge motivator for me to continue tweaking and uploading this story!
> 
> I hope everyone is enjoying the past Cloud/Zack references because, as you can probably tell, I am a Clack fan as well. But don't worry. Tidus isn't giving up on Cloudy yet. <3 Also, I'm a little amused that no one has been sad so far about Tidus breaking up with Yuna. I guess if people were, they wouldn't be reading this, huh? ANYWAY, hope to see you all back for Chapter 11!


	11. Weakened

**Chapter 11: Weakened**

"Stay with me, Tidus," Cloud whispered as he carried his companion as far as he could from the battlefield. Tidus continued to groan and pant, but Cloud could tell he was tiring. He wasn't even sure if he was still fully conscious or not. Cloud didn't know how far they had travelled, but he was certain they were a safe distance from the campsite now. Honestly, he'd been so focused on running that he'd lost track of time.

Up ahead, Cloud could see the shimmer of what he assumed was a lake, and he only paused long enough to adjust Tidus' arm around his neck.

"Just a little farther," Cloud promised.

One step at a time, Cloud helped Tidus to the lakeside. The moon's reflection on the water was bright enough to light the way. Finally, Cloud was able to lay Tidus down on the grass, his item bag tumbling to the ground beside him. He took a deep breath to prepare himself; the hard part was still ahead.

Cloud pulled Tidus as close to the lake as he could, and began splashing his bloodied shoulder with water. For as much blood as he cleaned off, an equal amount emerged. Frustrated, Cloud began feeling Tidus' shoulder, trying to find the cause of the ceaseless bleeding. It didn't take long for Cloud to discover the problem.

The joint was dislocated and bone was sticking up through torn skin; it must have happened when the magic had hit and exploded—Cloud remembered hearing that dreadful sound. Cloud inhaled deeply again, hoping he could stomach the sight of the injury as he did his work. He didn't waste any time ridding himself of his gloves and getting to the task at hand.

"O-ow..." Tidus moaned, as Cloud tried to move his shoulder back into its proper position. His eyes were closed tightly, his mouth barely moving as the word passed through his lips. Cloud's stomach flipped at the thought that he was hurting him, but knew it couldn't be helped.

"Shh... you're okay," Cloud whispered, softly.

When he realized he couldn't see well enough to position the joint properly, he heaved a heavy breath, and quickly, but carefully, unbuckled Tidus' suspenders and let them fall off of his shoulders. Next, he removed Tidus' pauldron while cursing the blasted piece of armour for not fulfilling its purpose. With gentle hands, Cloud supported Tidus' back, and pulled the young man in against him. Tidus whimpered a little, but Cloud murmured comforting words as he slowly freed him of his shirt and tossed it aside.

Cloud lowered Tidus back down to the ground and tried a second time to reposition his shoulder, this time succeeding in getting it back where it should have been and forcing the joint back into place with great pressure. Tidus moaned again, his face scrunched up into what looked like the result of major discomfort, and Cloud whispered to him once more in hopes of soothing him.

Cloud threw his hands back into the water, cleansing them of most of the blood before starting his healing spells. He closed his eyes to increase his concentration as he cast. In between each spell, he looked up to check on his companion. By the third spell, he was sure Tidus had passed out, and Cloud only hoped that he had found some relief in that unconsciousness.

The bleeding was still going strong, and Cloud soon feared his healing spells wouldn't be enough. With trembling hands, he rummaged through his bag, his fingers quickly discovering the medical kit Laguna had given him. He withdrew it from the bag and hauled it open. The med box contained a few more green healing materia, two potions, eye drops, some ointment, and bandages—nothing of which Cloud thought would be of much use to him at this point.

He was about to toss the box aside when he caught sight of something glistening in the moonlight. A thin, silver needle gleamed in a clear package, atop of a full spool of thread. Cloud released a breath of relief, and grabbed the items, then set the box aside. Cloud searched his mind for memories of his army days. Suture—a part of basic medical training that all infantrymen had to complete upon joining Shinra. Hopefully he would remember how to do it.

Cloud unwound a long length of thread, and removed the needle from the package. He raised both items up to the moonlight, and after a few attempts, was able to force the thread through the eye of the needle. He looked back down at Tidus' open wound, and prayed he would be able to complete his task without difficulty.

One stich. Two stiches. In the end, it took twelve to close up the wound, but Cloud was proud of his neat work. Cloud cleaned his hands in the lake once more, then wet a piece of bandage. He dabbed lightly at Tidus' shoulder and cleaned away the remaining blood, but the area still looked quite red and painful, so Cloud returned to his healing. He took in long, steady breaths. His eyes were closed and his mind was focused as he held the materia to Tidus' skin, but he knew he would have a long while to go before his spells began to dull his poor companion's ache.

* * *

 _So much pain. Why?_ Tidus forced his eyes to open, and when he felt the searing discomfort in his shoulder, he remembered. _Right. Kuja._ He didn't dare try to move on his own. He was thankful to see Cloud sitting a few feet away, his knees tucked up to his chest as he stared into the lake beside them.

"Cloud?" Tidus spoke up, causing Cloud to look in his direction. Relief spread across Cloud's features, and he moved closer to his companion.

"How are you?" Cloud asked.

Tidus fidgeted a little, looking like he wanted to sit up, and Cloud placed a hand cautiously under his back to help him do so. Tidus flinched a little, but the pain was nothing compared to what it had been earlier.

"Kinda sore," he admitted.

"I'm not surprised," Cloud replied. He didn't want to worry Tidus by telling him how bad the injury had been. He didn't have to. One glance at his shoulder, and Tidus discovered the severity. His eyes widened as he observed Cloud's repair work.

"Stitches?" Tidus asked.

"Twelve of them," Cloud said, apologetically.

"Kuja played pretty rough, huh?" Tidus half-chuckled, though it came out as more of a painful grunt.

"Yeah," Cloud agreed, watching Tidus carefully for any signs of major pain. Luckily, he didn't seem like he was hurting too badly.

"Is this the worst of it?" Tidus asked, eyeing the stitches.

"Well, you should probably rest your arm for a bit. Your shoulder was dislocated, too, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's sore to move it. Thankfully, it's not your sword arm."

"Mm, true enough," Tidus nodded, lifting his shoulder an inch or so upward, only to let it fall back down. "Dislocated, huh? Never had that happen befo—"

Tidus halted mid-sentence, shocked when his eyes made their way to Cloud's face. Cloud looked exhausted. His eyes were ringed with dark circles. His complexion was paler than usual—it may have even been a little on the green side—and Tidus was sure it wasn't from his earlier Malboro poisoning; Tidus had witnessed the antidote working like a charm.

"How long were you healing me?" Tidus asked, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"A few hours," Cloud said, with a shrug. "Took a while for me to stop the bleeding, and I wanted to make the pain more bearable for you."

Tidus averted his gaze for a moment, feeling slightly embarrassed. He figured his pain must have been fairly obvious and pretty extreme if Cloud had felt the need to heal him long enough to look like he hadn't slept in days. He felt it was his fault Cloud was so worn out now, but he was certainly touched by the man's valiant efforts.

"Thank you," he finally said. Cloud responded with a nod.

Tidus glanced at the ground to find his shirt lying drenched beside him, a faint blood stain still visible on the left sleeve. Obviously, Cloud taken it off to get a better look at the wound. It didn't stop Tidus from feeling a little exposed under the circumstances, though.

"I'm sorry. I tried my best to wash it out," Cloud said, eyeing the yellow shirt.

"No, it's okay. Probably a lot cleaner than I coulda done," Tidus smiled. Cloud gave a non-committal nod, and turned his gaze toward the sky. Tidus took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

"Are the others okay?" he asked.

"I hope so," Cloud answered. "Are you okay to move?"

"I can probably make it back," Tidus said, moving his arm again to test the amount of pain he would feel. It hurt, but he could tolerate it, at least for a little while.

"I'm kinda worried about _you_ , though," Tidus admitted a moment later, taking another look at Cloud. He looked so drained, like he might fall asleep where he sat.

"I'm fine. All that magic just... took a lot out of me," Cloud replied, his voice so weak that Tidus had a hard time being convinced he was alright.

"Maybe we should catch a few hours' sleep before we try and head back," Tidus suggested.

"Really, I'm okay," Cloud tried to assure him, forcing a tired half-smile.

"Cloud, you're a wreck. You've got dark circles under your eyes, you've got a twig in your hair..." Tidus exclaimed, earning a horrified look from Cloud.

With a chuckle, Tidus closed the distance between them and reached for Cloud's blond spikes with his good arm. He withdrew the twig, and showed it to Cloud with a smile before tossing it aside. Cloud shook his head and forced a small chuckle. When he looked up again, he immediately noticed the way Tidus was staring at him.

Tidus' heart pounded, the sound of Cloud's laughter—even as brief as it was—heightening his senses. He and Cloud were so close, their faces just inches apart. He was close enough to make a move, and damn, he sure wanted to, but did Cloud want him to?

Tidus' uncertain gaze darted between pale lips and glowing eyes. His own lips slowly parted, and he waited for Cloud to give him a signal to back off. Cloud gave him no such sign, and Tidus felt every fibre of his being tug him forward, toward the Ex-SOLDIER. Cloud's stomach flipped at the realization that part of him wanted what he believed was about to happen.

He felt warm breath on his chin as Tidus leaned in. Cloud's lips involuntarily parted in a soft sigh as he revelled in that unfamiliar warmth. Tidus was still giving him the chance to back out, and Cloud felt he had to pull away before he let something happen, something he would end up regretting. Tidus retreated just as quickly when he realized his advance had been unwanted.

"I'm sorry," Tidus spoke up. "I shouldn't have tried that."

"It's okay," came Cloud's fast reply.

He wished he could think of something else to say, but an awkward silence was all that followed. Tidus sat with his eyes on the ground, wringing his hands uncomfortably. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it again when he couldn't find the right words. A minute or more passed before he summoned the courage to try again.

"Was I completely out of line? I mean, I tried to figure it out, but do you even...?" Tidus trailed off. Cloud clued in, and raised a hand to stop Tidus from saying anything more. He was shy to speak up, but felt he needed to explain things to Tidus in his own words.

"I've only ever been with..." Cloud started, then bit his lip. Tidus knew what Cloud was trying to tell him, and a wave of relief crashed over him as he was finally able to confirm the answer to that nerve-wracking question. Bartz had been right.

"Oh! So, uh, no girlfriends, then?" Tidus tried to laugh awkwardly. Cloud's face felt warm, but he appreciated Tidus' efforts to lighten the mood. He shoved a hand nervously through his hair.

"No," he replied, forcing a small chuckle, though it sounded awfully strained. Thankfully, Tidus had always been good at easing the tension.

"Well, that makes you the expert here, then," Tidus grinned. "I should have let _you_ make the first move."

Cloud gave him a nervous smile, but it was a tiny one. He debated asking Tidus about his own relationship past—if he had ever been with anyone besides Yuna—but he didn't want to invade, nor did he want to lead him on. The last thing he wanted to do was give him the wrong idea.

Silence filled the gap between them, and after several seconds, Cloud found himself opening his mouth once more. Part of him wanted to get matters out in the open, before Tidus came to his own false conclusions; Cloud was terrified, but at the same time was convinced things would be easier between them if he just came clean.

"Tidus, I have to be honest with you," he started, his eyes fixed on the ground. "Zack was more than just a friend. He and I were..." Cloud faltered as tried to find the right word to describe his and Zack's relationship.

"You don't have to explain," Tidus spoke up, causing Cloud to look in his direction. "I think I... might have figured it out. You were in love, right?"

Tidus had said it so simply, so casually, as if the information hadn't bothered him in the slightest. Cloud blinked a few times, trying to let his comrade's words register in his brain.

"Um, yeah. Was it obvious?" he asked, furrowing his brow. Tidus gave him a small smile, answering Cloud's question. Cloud let out a light chuckle, and felt the corners of his lips timidly curl upward.

"I see," Cloud quietly replied. Tidus waited a moment before speaking again.

"So, why tell me this now?" he inquired. Cloud's gaze fell to the ground, and he rubbed his arm nervously.

"I don't know," Cloud admitted, and it was the truth. He brushed the back of his head with his hand as he searched for an explanation. "I guess I felt that... after everything, you deserved some answers."

Tidus didn't question the matter further. He simply paused for a minute, watching Cloud's features intently in hopes of catching even some minor expression that would tell him what to do next. Eventually, he chose to speak again, and hoped Cloud wouldn't consider his question too intrusive.

"Is it him? Is he what's stopping you? From being with me?" he asked, slowly, carefully. Cloud didn't want to reply—he knew Tidus wouldn't like what he had to say—but felt he had to.

"Tidus, I just don't want to be in a relationship right now."

"You didn't exactly answer the question," Tidus said, timidly averting his gaze. Cloud sighed, but said nothing.

Tidus hesitated another moment, feeling so unsure of himself as Cloud continued to sit silently. He felt like he was walking on ice. One wrong question and everything beneath him could break, making him fall further away from Cloud once again.

"We can take our time, if that's what you need," Tidus said, cocking his head to the side, hoping to read his companion better.

"It's more complicated than that," Cloud replied, his discomfort growing by the second.

Tidus was pushing to know more, but Cloud was reluctant to educate him much further. It was obvious Tidus cared for him, that he wanted so badly to be with him, but Cloud just couldn't think about a relationship. It was too soon.

Tidus sighed as he tried to come up with his own answers. He knew from the manikin encounter that Cloud had lost his previous love somehow. Cloud was quiet, and chose to keep people at a distance, yet he seemed lonely. Did Cloud really just not feel anything for Tidus? Or was there something deeper going on? Was Cloud scared of the risks?

Tidus dared to move in closer so that he could kneel in front of Cloud. He caught Cloud's gaze, his eyes begging Cloud to trust him.

"I won't leave you, Cloud. If you're worried about me in battle, don't. You know I'm a good fighter, and besides, you're always right there backing me up," Tidus said, forcing a smile, though he didn't know if it would convince Cloud or not.

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep. I could have lost you tonight if we weren't careful," the man replied. Tidus hesitated again, dumbstruck; Cloud had a point.

"Yeah, I guess, but sometimes you've gotta take chances," Tidus said, after a minute.

Cloud remained quiet. He couldn't bear to meet Tidus' gaze because he couldn't stand to see the disappointment on his face. Cloud wasn't ready for a commitment, and probably never would be.

"I'm sorry, Tidus. I still don't feel that way about you, and even if I did, I don't think I'm ready for this," he eventually explained. Tidus stared at him a second longer, then let his head hang down with a quiet nod.

"Alright," Tidus replied. "That's okay. I shouldn't have expected you would. I just thought that lately you were kinda... leaning my way. We were getting along."

Tidus forced a half-smile, and Cloud wished he couldn't see so much hurt in his expression. Cloud released a soft breath, and averted his gaze, seeking an end to the awkward conversation.

"If it's alright with you, I think I'm gonna take you up on your offer and sleep for a while," Cloud said, feeling more exhausted now than ever.

"Sure," Tidus agreed, not wanting to pressure Cloud into any more undesired conversations, even when he wanted more than anything for Cloud to keep talking, to continue helping him understand what it was that plagued his wary mind.

Cloud gave Tidus a grateful nod in return and lay down on the grass beside him, rolling onto his side to face away from him. Tidus watched him for several long minutes before he, too, admitted defeat and lay down for a few hours' rest.

* * *

"You guys had us worried sick!" Bartz shouted as the two warriors entered the alcove. Tidus' good arm was slung around Cloud's neck as Cloud helped the young man walk.

Everyone else was sitting throughout the cavern, hoping to be hidden from more of Chaos' minions. The fire outside had been extinguished, and Laguna's tent had been dismantled in an attempt to disguise their location. The centre of the alcove was lit by a yellow, glowing materia.

"Tidus!" Yuna shouted, getting up from her spot on the ground and running to greet him. She analyzed his faintly bloodstained shirt, and gave him a sad smile.

"It doesn't hurt so much anymore," Tidus assured her. She gave his good shoulder a gentle pat before returning to her place beside Laguna.

"Where's Kuja?" Cloud asked, helping Tidus sit down with the others, and taking a seat beside him.

"He ran off, but I think we gave him a few good hits that'll slow him down for a while," Zidane answered.

"Are you okay, Tidus?" Laguna asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks to Cloud," Tidus said, casting a quick glance at the man next to him. Cloud lowered his head, not exactly enjoying the attention.

"I'm sorry you got hurt, T. Kuja was only here because of me," Zidane said, his face twisted up in guilt.

"Don't worry about it, buddy. I'll be fine," Tidus replied, with a smile.

"So, what do we do now?" Yuna asked.

"I think we should split up. Zidane's strong enough to move on out of here now, and as a group this big, we're an easy target. Plus, Kuja's probably on his way back to report our location to the rest of the Chaos troops," Bartz said.

"The kid's got a point," Laguna agreed. "I don't love the idea of breaking up the team after a battle like that, but it's probably the safest thing for us right now."

"I'll stick with Bartz for now," Zidane spoke up.

"Of course," Bartz grinned, giving Zidane a high-five.

Cloud felt his throat tighten, like he needed to speak up. The options for travelling partners were limited, and Cloud couldn't deny that he would prefer Tidus' company over that of those he didn't know as well. Cloud's thoughts raced. There could be more awkward conversations, and more advances, but Cloud didn't have time to change his mind; his mouth was already opening to speak.

"Tidus will come with me," Cloud affirmed, watching out of the corner of his eye. He saw Tidus' shocked expression turn into a shy smile.

"That's fine. Yuna and I've been making a pretty fine team so far," Laguna said, giving the girl a gentle nudge.

"Then that's that. Let's get some rest and head out in the morning," Bartz announced, earning the agreement of his fellow companions. Cloud was too timid to catch Tidus' eye, but he knew the boy's smile wouldn't be fading any time soon; Cloud wished he knew how to feel about it.

* * *

Tidus rolled over in his sleeping bag, still snoring softly. Cloud glanced at him as he adjusted the large sword on his back. He knew Tidus was a late sleeper anyway, but after the events of the night before, he wasn't surprised that he was still a-snooze even with all the hustle and bustle going on around him. All the sleeping bags in the alcove were rolled up and ready to go.

Bartz and Zidane were just stuffing the last of their belongings into their knapsacks when Tidus released a tired sigh. Bartz and Cloud exchanged accordant glances. If no one woke him up soon, it would be a while before they could hit the road. Cloud would have been content to let him sleep if there wasn't a chance that Kuja or another Chaos minion would show up, but he wasn't in the mood to tempt fate.

"Tidus," Laguna said, giving him a nudge with his foot. The boy didn't budge.

"Hey, Tidus!" he repeated, kicking a little harder this time. Tidus whimpered, and Cloud felt sick at the thought that Laguna had disturbed his injured shoulder.

"Careful," Cloud warned. "Let me."

Cloud knelt down beside the young blond, practically shooing Laguna off, and Laguna was sure Cloud was a little pissed at him. He couldn't have been more right. After the painful night Tidus had had, Cloud couldn't blame him for needing the extra rest; the poor boy deserved a more peaceful awakening. Cloud gave Tidus' uninjured shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"Tidus?" Cloud asked. Tidus stirred slightly.

"Tidus?" he tried again. Even his half-conscious state, Tidus recognized Cloud's voice and decided it was worth opening one eye.

"Time to get moving," Cloud told him, getting up from his kneeling position. Tidus smiled, his face still half-buried in his pillow as he lay on his side.

"You sound like my mom. On a school morning," Tidus teased.

"Your mom must've had a deep voice," Bartz laughed, from the corner of the alcove. "You guys almost ready?"

"We're just waiting for..." Laguna started, then nodded his head in Tidus' direction. Tidus sat up in his sleeping bag and stretched his arms up above his head, momentarily forgetting about his sore shoulder. He groaned uncomfortably as he lowered his hands back down.

"Geez, you need more beauty rest than I do," Bartz laughed. "Get up already!"

"Yeah, yeah," Tidus said, scrambling out of his sleeping bag and rolling it into an unmanageable ball. The others eyed him. Yuna raised a hand to her mouth to try and hide a smile.

"You don't seriously think you can carry it like that, do you?" Zidane asked, his hands on his hips.

"You know I'm no good at rolling it up," Tidus said, dropping it to the ground, prepared to start over.

It was obvious from the way he was carrying his shoulder that he was guarding it, trying to prevent pain. That only made his task more difficult, one arm hardly moving as he raced to fold up the bedroll. Cloud was beside him in a second, kneeling down to tend to it himself.

"You've just got to be patient. Go slow," Cloud said, taking the edges of the material and beginning to roll it up.

Tidus watched him, almost mesmerized, as Cloud managed to wrap the sleeping bag enough to put the straps on it correctly. _Is that the key to you, too?_ Tidus silently wondered.

"Just like that," Cloud said, pushing the bag towards Tidus. He couldn't explain the sudden ache in his heart as his eyes met Tidus'. How could those blue eyes still be filled with so much cheer and innocence, even when he was suffering on the inside and out?

"Thanks," Tidus smiled. Cloud simply nodded and got to his feet once more, shrugging off the feelings that were too complicated for him to sort out just then.

Tidus rushed around the alcove, finding pieces of his armour and clothing that he had discarded haphazardly before settling down to sleep the night before. He found a glove and tugged it onto his hand. The others began taking their belongings outside so they would be ready to take off as soon as Tidus was ready.

Before long, Tidus met the group outside the alcove. He dropped his sword and sleeping bag on the ground, then paused a minute to fix the button on his glove.

"I'm all ready," Tidus said.

"Honestly, that was relatively quick for you," Zidane smirked. Tidus gave him a playful smack in the back of the head.

"Hey, I'm not _that_ slow," he grinned.

"You guys wanna give me a hand with the tent?" Laguna asked, once he'd removed the last few of his and Yuna's belongings from it.

Zidane proceeded toward the tent with Cloud at his side. The two began to dismantle the tent, and Tidus moved to join them, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Eat up," Bartz said, handing him a small bun of bread.

"Why me?" Tidus asked, with a frown.

"Because you were the only who slept through breakfast."

"I'm sick of this bread," Tidus whined.

"It might be all you get for a while," Bartz said. "Better than nothing."

Tidus accepted the bread from Bartz and took a large bite before handing it back to the brunet and scurrying off to help the others. Bartz just rolled his eyes and smirked. He was sure Tidus would be hungry later, but at least he'd _tried_ to feed him.

"You know what we need?" Tidus said, as he began helping the other men with the tent.

"No, what's that?" Laguna asked.

"A tent that will take itself down. _And_ it should set itself up, too," the blitzer grinned.

"You could use qualities like that in a sleeping bag, too," Zidane teased. Tidus swatted him again.

"You missed a pole on that side," Bartz said, pointing with one hand while stuffing the last of Tidus' discarded bread into his mouth with the other. Yuna giggled in response.

"I'll get it," Tidus and Cloud answered in unison, both proceeding from their respective sides of the tent towards the remaining pole. They reached for it, their gloved hands touching for only a moment before both of them pulled back.

"Sorry," they both quietly apologized, before Tidus allowed Cloud to reach for it again.

"Sexual tension you could cut with a knife," Laguna said loudly, as if he wanted to induce a reaction from the others. Yuna coughed. Cloud tried to hide his face, while Tidus averted his gaze. Zidane and Bartz exchanged amused looks.

"It was a joke. Geez! Lighten up, you guys!" Laguna laughed. A joke like that normally wouldn't have fazed Cloud, but with Tidus' interest in him growing so strong, it was the last thing he wanted to hear. Tidus couldn't agree more.

Laguna continued to be ignored while the others finished with the tent. It wasn't long before the campsite was cleared, as if they had never been there at all. The group stared at their surroundings with longing. It had been a pleasant place to rest their heads, probably the nicest they had found during their journey so far, and it saddened the group to think it wasn't safe anymore.

"Well, I guess this is it," Zidane spoke up, as everyone began to load up with bags and weapons.

"For now, at least. I'm sure we'll meet again," Laguna answered, with a smile.

"Everyone, watch your backs," Bartz said, glancing around at his friends, trying to put aside his worry for them.

"Hopefully, we'll find our crystals soon," Yuna spoke up.

She was startled when Cloud released a sigh, and turned on his heel. Laguna frowned, finding it to be a little rude, but he would never understand how much Cloud hated goodbyes. Even if all of the warriors were good fighters, there was always a chance someone wouldn't survive, and Cloud didn't want to lose any of them, no matter how brief their companionship had been. Goodbye sounded like the end, and Cloud didn't want any part of it.

"We should get a move on," Cloud said, walking out of the circle of warriors and heading for the trees. Tidus gave an apologetic smile to the rest of the group.

"I'd better go," he said with a shrug, before taking off after his companion, leaving the others behind to bid more proper farewells.

* * *

The afternoon's walk was slow due to Tidus' discomfort. His throbbing shoulder made it hard to maintain his usual pace, and after a while, Cloud decided he wouldn't worry about how far they travelled that day as long as they found a safe place to spend the night. They hadn't made it far past the lake they had visited the night before when Tidus admitted he couldn't take the pain anymore. Cloud didn't hesitate in settling down and healing Tidus' wound for a bit.

When the pain had been dulled again, they sat back in the grass, both feeling relieved to have a break. Cloud was more than a little drained, having used so much magic over the past couple of days, and he could tell from Tidus' face that he was growing weary as well. Eventually, Tidus lay down on his back, limbs sprawled out to the sides as he stared at the sky.

For hours now, his head had been filled to the brim with thoughts he couldn't sort on his own. Questions were piling up in his mind, and he felt exhausted from carrying around the uncertainty of them all. He knew the answers lay only with Cloud, and he hoped he could seek them without causing trouble.

"Cloud?"

"Hmm?"

"Why'd you decide to let me tag along even after what happened last night?" Tidus asked, cautiously.

Cloud hesitated. In all honesty, he'd taken Tidus with him because he still felt comfortable with him. He knew maybe he shouldn't; he knew it was possible that Tidus' feelings for him might still cause him to act in ways that Cloud wasn't fond of, but that didn't change the fact that he could count on Tidus in and out of battle.

"Last night didn't change anything. We're companions, just like we have been all along," Cloud replied, simply. Tidus was a little disappointed. He wished that after all this time, Cloud would admit they were more than that.

"And that won't change, right?"

"What?" Cloud questioned, looking confused. Tidus sighed. He dreaded diving deeper into the conversation, but he couldn't take it any longer—not knowing where they stood with one another.

"Well, last night you said that even if you did feel something for me, you're not ready to get involved."

"What about it?" Cloud asked, looking down at the man beside him, but met his eyes only for a moment before his courage failed him. He could sense this conversation was headed in an undesirable direction.

"Well, what did you mean? That someday, we might be able to...?" Tidus trailed off when Cloud cleared his throat, uncomfortably. He watched Cloud carefully, but the man hardly moved after that.

"Being with you would complicate things," the elder man eventually said.

"Why? Because of your feelings for..." Tidus paused again, choosing his words carefully. "You-know-who?" He saw the sudden tension in Cloud's body, how rigidly he was suddenly holding himself.

"Because of a lot of things," Cloud replied, pulling his knees up to his chest and holding them there, as if curling up like that might keep his emotions from seeping out. Tidus stared at him, trying so hard to figure out what was going on in his mind, what horrible events had caused him to be so distrusting and closed off.

"Like what?" Tidus tried. Cloud seemed to be turning colder by the second. He kept holding himself tighter, like he was shielding himself from Tidus' questions.

"Why do you want to know?"  Cloud sounded far too defensive for Tidus' liking, so he let out a gentle breath, and started again—this time with a lighter, less intrusive approach.

"Listen, I don't know what went on in your past, but you have to remember you're not alone. We all have burdens to carry. And to be honest, you're pretty lucky. You've got lots of friends, and a nice warm bed waiting for you back home, right? A lot of people don't have that," Tidus said, his voice growing softer the more as he spoke.

"If you're implying that I don't realize what I have, you're wrong. I'm grateful for everything I have. For all my friends. For all of you. I just don't like to let myself get too attached."

Tidus decided not to dwell on that last sentence, and instead shook his head.

"No, no, no. I'm not implying anything. I was just reminding you that, um..." Tidus trailed off, lost for words.

Cloud was staring at him, as if he were waiting for Tidus to attack him with more words. Tidus could tell his shields were up now. Cloud wouldn't be affected by anything he had to say. Regardless, Tidus decided to keep trying.

"I just wanted to give you some perspective, I guess. I thought there might be something weighing you down, that's all. I thought it might be getting in the way," Tidus explained.

His voice was soft, like he was afraid Cloud was going to dislike what he was saying. Cloud watched Tidus oh so carefully. Tidus continued to casually stare up at the sky, but Cloud could see his tension from the way he was biting his lip.

"What are you getting at, Tidus?" Cloud asked, his tone firm. Tidus slowly sat upright, his stomach churning and heart thumping hard as he forced himself to speak.

"I guess what I really want to know is... Do you feel _anything_ for me?" he asked, brows creased. Cloud pondered. Did he feel anything?

Sure. He felt lots of things for Tidus—positive things, even—but all of them came back to reach the same point: they didn't necessarily translate into love. Feelings of comfort, yes, but Cloud was _not_ in love with Tidus.

"There might be _something_ between us," Cloud spoke up, hesitating a little as he spoke. "But even I don't understand what that is."

He wasn't sure if he should have said anything at all. He just didn't know how long he could take Tidus' sad eyes boring into him.

"So, you like me, but—"

"I like _being_ with you," Cloud corrected. "Knowing that you care makes things easier. But right now, I'm afraid all I can offer you is friendship."

Tidus was silent for a long while, his eyes finding their way to the ground and staying there even when he found his voice again.

"Will friendship... prevent you from being lonely?" Tidus slowly asked.

Cloud frowned, feeling utterly shocked by the question. How had Tidus known he was lonely? How long had he been studying him, figuring out all his feelings that sometimes even Cloud couldn't pin down? Cloud wasn't sure he wanted to think about it. Who knew how long he had been the focus of Tidus' attention and not even been aware.

Cloud hung his head low, and swallowed hard. He could feel a sudden surge of emotion, but he suppressed it. It took him several long seconds to figure out what to say.

"No, but... It would certainly help," he said, bringing his head back up to meet Tidus' gaze. Tidus stared into his eyes, and found the sincerity he'd been looking for. The sad look that had been on Tidus' face quickly dissipated, and Cloud was thankful he had finally said something to lessen the tension.

"Then that's what we'll do. We'll be friends," Tidus smiled, releasing a light chuckle. He gave Cloud a gentle pat on the shoulder before flopping back onto the ground. Cloud stared up at the sky and almost managed a smile. Friends. He could live with that.

Cloud dared a glance at Tidus once more, but Tidus didn't look to be feeling the same amount of ease that he was. Tidus' eyes were closed now, and the smile was slowly fading from his face. His lips were soon pressed hard together, like he was agitated. Cloud frowned, and debated whether or not to inquire about it, but felt it would be too rude to ignore his sudden change in mood.

"Something wrong?" Cloud asked. Tidus' eyes flew open, but his mouth remained tightly shut. He glanced fleetingly at Cloud, afraid to speak up, but the suspense was killing him.

"Cloud?" Tidus started. "Do you ever... talk about _him_?" Cloud's insides seemed to curl up at the mention of Zack, but he tried to maintain a level head.

"No. Not really."

"Why not?" Tidus tried. Cloud fidgeted uncomfortably, knowing where this was headed.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, warily. Tidus was getting dangerously close to buried memories, ones hat would surely hurt if Cloud were to speak of them.

"I dunno. How did you meet? What was he like?" Tidus suggested, impressed that Cloud was even debating discussing such matters. It didn't really matter to him what Cloud told him, as long as it would help him better understand his dark past.

"I don't know if I'm comfortable with that," Cloud shook his head, his courage failing. Tidus averted his gaze.

"Oh. Okay." Tidus' gaze was on the grass beside him. He was motionless, just watching the green blades blow back and forth. Back to square one. So much for being at ease.

Cloud took in a deep breath, and held it. He was afraid he would regret talking about his past; he'd never talked much about Zack to anyone. The only reason he was even considering it was because he wanted to keep the peace between Tidus and himself. In the end, that was enough.

"We met after I joined the Shinra army back home," Cloud reluctantly spoke up, startling Tidus, but Tidus immediately perked his head up, cocking his head to the side, watching and listening carefully. Cloud was thankful he seemed so appreciative. It almost made it worth dragging himself through the memories.

"We were assigned to the same mission, and we hit it off right away. He was quite a few ranks higher than I was, but that didn't stop him from hanging around with me," Cloud paused, and to Tidus' surprise, released a small chuckle. "Even when it got him in trouble with the higher-ups."

Tidus rested a hand behind his head as he continued to lay in the grass. The sound of Cloud's voice, of his laughter... It relaxed him, as it sounded like Cloud had been in need of that laugh for far too long.

"How long were you together?" Tidus coaxed gently. He kept his voice quiet, not wanting to scare Cloud off; he actually seemed to be fairly relaxed for once while lost in his thoughts.

"Four or five years? It's... a little fuzzy to me now," Cloud lied. He didn't want to talk about the experiments, the time he and Zack could have spent together, had they not been trapped in Hojo's lab.

"And how did he...?" Tidus trailed off. He knew he wouldn't have to finish that sentence in order for Cloud to understand.

"That's personal," Cloud told him.

"I'm sorry. I just... wondered if that's what made you so lonely," Tidus said, quietly. Cloud turned his head to stare at him.

"Why are you so convinced that I'm lonely?" Cloud asked, his defensiveness returning. Tidus rubbed his arm, sheepishly.

"Cloud, you admitted it yourself."

"When?"

"'Bout five minutes ago," Tidus replied, voice small.

Cloud frowned a little, and Tidus shied away from his gaze, realizing he may have been acting a little insensitively. He decided to keep his mouth shut for the time being. Probably a wise move. Cloud was silent for several long seconds before he found the will to speak again.

"Even if I am lonely, a relationship won't necessarily fix things. I know that's what you're hinting at," Cloud said, firmly. It was Tidus' turn to frown; Cloud had pegged him. Cloud felt Tidus' eyes shoot towards him again as Tidus rose to his feet.

"I can help you. I don't know what you're keeping bottled up, but you've gotta let it out!" Tidus' eyes were practically pleading.

"This is _my_ problem," Cloud said, with a huff. " _I'll_ deal with it." Those words should have been enough to end the conversation, but Tidus was too exasperated to let matters go.

"Why won't you let me help?" Tidus demanded.

"What's really on your mind, Tidus?" Cloud shot back. He couldn't remember the last time he'd raised his voice like that, but that boy was really starting to drive him crazy. Tidus' mouth snapped closed, and he stood there looking timid. He'd said too much, and yet, there was still more he needed to say.

"I almost kissed you last night, Cloud," he announced, loudly, then felt his voice grow quiet as Cloud tensed up at the words. "It feels weird if we don't talk about it." Cloud managed to keep his cool and clear his throat.

"What is there to say?" he asked.

"Well," Tidus started, breathing deeply. "When I went to kiss you, for a minute there, I thought you were going to let me go through with it."

"Tidus, just let it go," Cloud nearly whispered. He knew he would have a harder time saying what he needed to say if Tidus was upset with him, but Tidus' annoyance only grew.

"It's just frustrating..." Tidus' tone was so feeble now. "I spend four months by your side, and I'm still nowhere near you."

"That's not true," Cloud spoke up, needing Tidus to know that. "We've come a long way."

"Sometimes, yeah, I think we have. Other times, not so much," Tidus sighed. "I mean, I've done what I could, but I don't know how to help you anymore. Maybe, if you just tried to get over Zack—"

Apparently, that was the last straw. He had gone too far. Tidus was alarmed when Cloud stood up so fast he'd hardly had time to blink.

"You just don't get it, do you?" Cloud demanded, his face dangerously close to Tidus' as he spoke. Tidus recoiled, his brows crinkling into some sort of sad expression.

"Zack didn't just die. He was murdered. He was shot down. Protecting me. He _died_ protecting _me_ ," Cloud said, fiercely, enunciating each word so that he was sure Tidus would understand. Tidus stayed as still as he possibly could, remaining silent as his frightened eyes continued to search Cloud for answers.

"If I don't live for him, and do everything I can to remember him, then he's just gone. I can't let that happen," Cloud said, turning to leave. Tidus watched him walk a few steps away, his mind madly trying to comprehend what the man had just said.

"What does that even mean?!" he yelled, but Cloud refused to turn around and answer.

"How can I understand if you just walk away?!" Tidus shouted, but it was no use.

Cloud only quickened his pace to make his escape, and Tidus, feeling defeated, dropped to his knees. He felt tears stinging his eyes and he wrapped his arms around himself, hoping it would be of some comfort. Tears only fought harder to break free, and Tidus shut his eyes tightly, his head dropping toward the ground.

"I don't understand..." Tidus whispered to the darkness.

He tried to ignore the hurt, but it was impossible. Maybe he and Cloud never would be together, perfectly happy like he had imagined. Maybe Zack had had a connection with Cloud that Tidus could never even come close to replicating. Tidus blinked as tears reached his cheeks. Maybe Jecht was right. Maybe he was a crybaby. Little did he know that a little ways off in the distance, Cloud was crying, too.


	12. Enlightened

**Chapter 12: Enlightened**

The moonlight was bright enough to guide Cloud back to the lake he had visited with Tidus the night before—the place where Cloud had stitched up his wound; the place where they had had their almost-kiss. Cloud purged the thought, and knelt down at the edge of the water. The lake was cool to the touch, but Cloud didn't waste any time in cupping his hands and splashing some water onto his face. He couldn't bear to think how upset Tidus must have been just then. Cloud hadn't even had the strength to look back at him once he'd stormed off.

Cloud plunged his hands into the lake once again, this time gently wetting his arms, as if that might wash away the things he'd said. He hadn't wanted to talk about Zack's death, but he had reached a breaking point, and the words had come pouring out. He honestly didn't know how he would ever face Tidus again. He didn't know how to explain to him just how deeply embedded Zack was in his heart, in his memory. He liked being close to Tidus, but the need to cling to memories of Zack outweighed that desire. He needed Zack to know that he would never let him down again, and to do that, he had to keep on travelling this lonely road alone. Or, at least, that's what he believed.

Cloud took a deep breath, and let his hands fall into the water again. When it came to sorting out his feelings for Tidus, he didn't even know where to begin. Tidus was always right there at his side, and most of the time, it was comforting. It made Cloud feel just a little safer, knowing someone cared about him. Cloud liked the way Tidus could smile at just about anything, and how he could cheer people up like it was second nature to him; it was something Cloud was sure he would never be capable of doing. There was also a physical attraction that couldn't be ignored, even though Cloud wished he could push those thoughts aside.

The more he thought about Tidus caring for him, the more at ease he felt, but that feeling couldn't last. He was afraid that if he wasn't careful, he might end up taking advantage of Tidus' advances towards him, and just accept the comfort. He couldn't use Tidus like that, and he couldn't betray Zack either.

In some ways—a lot of ways—Cloud wished he could just let go and accept someone new into his life. He wished he could let down his walls long enough for someone to creep through, and sweep him off his feet in a whorl of unexpected happiness. There was just one problem: he was still scared, scared of so many things.

He'd been only sixteen when he'd been together with Zack, and things had been so exciting and new that Cloud hadn't even thought about what he had to fear. He'd put everything he had into that relationship, given his heart, body, and soul to Zack, which only made it that much worse when he'd lost him. Cloud had never considered having to find anyone else. At the time, it just seemed like things would work out. Zack's death was never something that had crossed Cloud's mind, and why should it have? They had both been so young.

Perhaps putting so much into that relationship was the main cause for Cloud's aloofness now. He had placed so much faith in having a future with Zack that he had made himself vulnerable;he couldn't have been more devastated when he realized that that future would never pan out. Now, the thought of even risking another relationship was sickening to him. He had worked so hard to learn how to fend for himself, to be okay with being alone. He had managed to close himself off from the world around him, just enough to live in it without getting hurt, but maybe his shield had never worked at all, because he was sure as hell still hurting.

Cloud held in a sob as he heard movement behind him. He reached for his sword and stood up. He hoped the water on his face would conceal his tears.

“Oh, my. Look what I've found.”

Cloud's heart seemed to stop at the sound of that low, mocking tone. He spun around to see Sephiroth step out from within the trees, sword drawn. Cloud tried to look aggressive, but he was sure his body language was telling Sephiroth everything he needed to know: that he was in no shape to fight.

“What is it, Cloud? Are your emotions getting the better of you? Are those pesky memories too much to handle?” Sephiroth taunted.

“If it's a fight you want, then let's just get to it,” Cloud muttered, summoning the fiercest scowl he could muster.

“What fun is that? You didn't put up much of a fight against that manikin,” the silver-haired man said, his lips curling into a malicious smile.

Cloud was confused at first, trying to recall to which manikin Sephiroth was referring, but as Sephiroth continued to smirk, Cloud's brain reached the conclusion. He froze as he thought back to the encounter on the cliff, the one with the manikin of his precious Zack. He pushed hard for words to make it past his icy throat.

“ _You_ made that manikin?” Cloud demanded.

“Don't be foolish. It was made from your own memories. That goddess of yours... it's a shame she doesn't protect those memories better,” Sephiroth replied, seeming pleased when Cloud looked to be falling to pieces.

Cloud didn't understand what Sephiroth was saying, and with his mind growing more frantic by the second, there was no hope of even trying to figure it out. Cloud wished he had the willpower to wait and react when he saw an opportunity, but all his confusion, hurt, and rage bundled up into one unpredictable action. He felt himself leap into the air, sword raised, ready to come down and split Sephiroth into what he hoped would be a million pieces. Instead, he let out a cry as he found himself on the end of Sephiroth's masamune. Again.

* * *

Tidus jumped to his feet when he heard footsteps coming his way. Of all the times for company, of course, it would be now when he was an emotional wreck. He drew his sword and wiped away the last of his tears with his arm. Fortunately, he was pretty quick to recognize the figures coming his way, and lowered his weapon when he confirmed they were friend, not foe.

“Tidus!” Vaan shouted, jogging towards him, his silver vest falling clumsily off one shoulder as he ran. Behind him walked Lightning, her pink hair shining in the moonlight.

“What's up?” Tidus asked, just barely managing to sound like his usual chipper self. He rubbed a hand over his eyes once more, just to make sure his tears were truly gone.

“We were supposed to meet up with Tifa a day ago, but she never showed up. We've been looking for her ever since,” Vaan explained, rubbing a finger under his nose as he spoke, as was a habit of his.

“Are you travelling alone?” Lightning asked. Tidus shook his head.

“I'm travelling with Cloud, but he went off somewhere a few minutes ago. He'll _probably_ be back,” Tidus replied, though he sounded doubtful.

“Did either of you find your crystals yet?” Vaan asked.

“Not yet,” Tidus answered, shaking his head again. “Did either of you?”

“No, and I'm not getting my hopes up,” Lightning said, turning away from the others and folding her arms. Vaan rolled his eyes when Tidus raised a brow, questioning Lightning's pessimism. Tidus took that as a sign not to ask.

“Well, Light. We might as well stick around here until Cloud and Tifa show up,” Vaan said, dropping his bags and weapon, and sitting down in the grass, hands resting leisurely behind his head.

Tidus hesitated before sitting down as well, worried he might get in trouble with Lightning if he slacked off, too, but he didn't have the energy to try and impress anyone. Finally, Lightning turned to face them again.

“I guess it's not a bad idea,” came the woman's unexpected response. “You look like you're low on supplies,” she went on, addressing Tidus.

“Yeah, Cloud and I lost our belongings a while ago. We haven't been able to completely restock,” Tidus replied, glancing at the extent of their equipment—two bedrolls, Cloud's semi-full item bag next to his completely empty one, and his own blade.

“Light and I found some extra gil a while back,” Vaan said. “We could help you two out a bit.”

Tidus didn't have time to reply, as a loud whistle echoed from somewhere deeper in the woods. Tidus was up from the ground in a second and he stared in the direction of the sound, his heart beginning to race. Vaan and Lightning readied their weapons.

“That's... That's gotta be Yuna,” Tidus told them, his own voice sounding coming out shaky. The whistle rang out again, this time weaker, and shorter.

“Let's go. Doesn't sound like we have time to waste,” Lightning said, charging off ahead. Vaan ran a few steps after her, then stopped and turned back to Tidus who seemed to be frozen on the spot.

“You coming?” Vaan asked. Tidus blinked a couple of times as he regained his ability to move, and he gave a nod as he took off after the others.

* * *

 The sickly stench of blood was strong and uncomfortably familiar as Cloud lay wounded on the ground. He stared at the sky above him, his vision coming in and out of focus, and all he could think about was Zack—if Zack had felt this way, if Zack had been this scared when he'd died. Cloud could feel blood dripping down his side, soaking his skin and the material of his shirt. He was sure there was blood seeping from underneath him as well from the hole that Sephiroth had so neatly put through him.

Tidus' legs refused to carry him any further when he and the others reached the clearing. He was shocked when his eyes came to rest on not Yuna's, but Cloud's wounded body. He glanced around, wondering if the girl was somewhere nearby, but he couldn't see her. Frightened, he drew his eyes back to Cloud, but couldn't find the strength to get any closer. Cloud looked bad. Someone had certainly done a number on him.

Lightning and Vaan rushed to Cloud's aid, and knelt down beside him, identifying the source of the bleeding almost immediately. Vaan was quick to support Cloud's upper body while Lightning began her healing magic.

“Don't... bother,” Cloud uttered when he felt the initial sting of the healing magic taking effect.

“Don't talk,” Lightning shot back, focusing on her healing. Cloud tried to make out the figures around him, but he couldn't. The pain was making his mind too hazy.

“Light, he doesn't seem good,” Vaan said, worry clear in his voice and face.

“Quiet,” Lightning hissed.

Tidus continued to watch from afar, his anxiety building. It only increased when Cloud's heavy eyelids fell closed, and Vaan and Lightning exchanged concerned glances. Cloud was growing weaker by the second.

“Vaan, I need your help healing _now_ ,” Lightning instructed.

“Tidus, get over here!” Vaan shouted. The urgency of Vaan's voice was enough to get Tidus to rush forward. He knelt to the ground and took Vaan's position supporting Cloud's body, then Vaan began healing along with Lightning.

“I-I don't understand,” Tidus spoke up. “That whistling sound we heard. I was sure that was Yuna.”

“It was definitely coming from this spot. It was Cloud,” Lightning shook her head, brows crinkled into a frown as she tried to ignore the break in her concentration.

“But, why?” Tidus whispered.

Terrified, he let his eyes travel down to Cloud's pale face. His light blond brows were furrowed, and Tidus figured he must have still been half-conscious. He was obviously still feeling some pain. While keeping one arm underneath Cloud's back to support him, Tidus brought his other hand up to Cloud's dishevelled hair and gently brushed it away from his face. He hoped Cloud could feel him there, that he knew he wasn't alone.

Time passed slowly; Tidus thought almost an hour could have gone by, but it felt even longer—like an eternity. Finally, Vaan withdrew his arms from Cloud's chest. He heaved a sigh and let his hands fall to his sides. His eyes went immediately to Lightning, who was keeping up with her healing, though she looked to be wearing a little.

“I need a minute,” Vaan said. The green glow illuminating Cloud's chest went out as Lightning dropped her arms as well. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

“We don't have a minute,” she admitted, quietly.

Tidus forced himself to look at Cloud's injury for the first time that night, and instantly wished he hadn't. There was a slit in Cloud's chest, and blood seeped out from beneath the tear in his shirt. Although the wound was thin, it looked deep.

“Guys, keep healing, please,” Tidus said, his voice giving out as he spoke.

He swallowed in order to moisten his dry mouth, but it did him no good. He would have tried healing Cloud himself, but he knew Light and Vaan were both much better medics than he was. Besides, he was sure his hands would be too shaky at the moment to do a good job.

“We'll try,” Vaan spoke up, as he and Lightning put their hands to Cloud's chest once again.

* * *

 Once Cloud was in stable condition, the group carried him back to Tidus' previous location. They set up Lightning's tent, and got Cloud settled in his sleeping bag. Vaan set up his own tent for him and Lightning to sleep in when the time came, and Tidus agreed to stay with Cloud. Now, Vaan, Lightning, and Tidus sat around the fire that Lightning had made, trying to calm their nerves after the evening's stressful events.

Vaan poked at the fire with a stick. Tidus was sure he was doing it as more of a distraction than for the purpose of stoking it; he was also sure that it was driving Lightning a little bit crazy. Tidus couldn't stop glancing at Lightning's tent. He wanted so badly to be in there by Cloud's side, to make sure he was okay, but he knew it wasn't necessary. The bleeding was under control, and Cloud was asleep anyway, but Tidus couldn't take the tension any longer. He got up from his seat by the warm fire with a sigh.

“You alright?” Lightning asked.

“Just tired. I think I'll head to bed,” Tidus answered with a fake yawn, his arms stretched up above his head.

“You're going to check on Cloud, aren't you?” Vaan asked. Tidus' head fell a little.

“I just don't like the thought of him being alone when he's like this,” Tidus admitted. Vaan could clearly detect the sadness in his tone.

“You go. We'll keep watch,” Lightning told him. Tidus thanked her with a gentle nod, and proceeded toward the tent.

Cloud fidgeted a little in his sleep when Tidus stepped in, and zipped the tent closed behind him. For a minute, Tidus just stared. His first instinct was to hurry to Cloud's side, but he couldn't help but think Cloud wouldn't have wanted him here, were he awake. After a short period of thinking, however, Tidus concluded that he didn't have the heart to leave him on his own. Cloud had hurt him, yes, but if their positions had been reversed, Tidus believed he still would have wanted him beside him in a time like this. Such dire circumstances pretty much required a friend's support.

Tidus tried to be especially quiet as he made his way to the centre of the tent and sat down on his own bedroll beside Cloud's sleeping form. He withdrew a materia from his pocket—one that Lightning had given him on the way back in case they ran into enemies—and set it down beside him. Its yellow glow gave just enough light for him to see Cloud's face.

For a long while, Tidus simply sat and watched, his arms resting casually on his knees. He watched the little twitches of Cloud's brows, the violent tremors that shook his body every few minutes. He listened to the pain-filled whimpers, the unsteady breathing, and Tidus found himself blinking through watery eyes again because he felt responsible for all of it. He felt he should have been there to protect Cloud; if he'd been there fighting alongside him, perhaps Cloud wouldn't have been hurt. He shouldn't have said those things to make Cloud storm off.

Tidus inhaled shakily. He couldn't stand to see the poor man suffering like that anymore, tortured by such a restless sleep. He moved forward, then stopped himself. He didn't want to intrude. This was Cloud, the Cloud who didn't want Tidus acting as anything more than a friend, but he looked so weak and helpless. Tidus would feel worse were he _not_ to offer him a bit of comfort.

With a deep breath, Tidus moved in a bit closer to his friend and lay down beside him, propping himself up on one elbow. His shoulder protested a little, but he ignored the pain. He summoned his courage and carefully wrapped his free arm around Cloud's waist and pulled him in closer until Cloud's back was pressed against his chest. Cloud shivered at first, but Tidus soon felt him relax and settle into the warmth.

Tidus had pictured this moment many times, but never like this. Never with Cloud wounded and unconscious. Never with things so rough between them. But despite all that, all Tidus could do was breathe him in. He loved the feel of Cloud's back against his beating heart. He loved knowing that Cloud was safe under his protective wing. He loved pretending that Cloud was simply sleeping, and that when he awoke, he would greet Tidus with soft smiles and glowing blue eyes. Tidus knew that was a distant dream, but in his heart, he still wasn't ready to give up on it.

“I know you're mad at me, and you can tell me to leave if you want to, but... I'm here to help, okay?” Tidus whispered, weakly.

Cloud remained silent, motionless in Tidus' arms. Tidus hadn't expected him to reply, but he was still relieved that Cloud wasn't shying away from his touch. Bravely, Tidus pressed a gentle kiss to Cloud's messy hair.

“I'm here for you.”

* * *

Tidus awoke to the sound of voices outside the tent, and he was embarrassed to find that he had fallen asleep with Cloud still pulled in against him. He propped himself up again and briefly shook his head to wake himself up. He listened closely to the voices outside, and recognized those of Vaan and Lightning. The third voice, he didn't immediately recognize, but it sounded panicked.

Tidus scrambled to untangle himself from Cloud's body when he heard someone unzipping the tent. He managed to sit himself back on his sleeping bag just in time, and tried to look completely indifferent when Tifa threw open the tent door. She stepped inside, her eyes locking on the man beside Tidus.

“Cloud!” she shouted, rushing toward her unconscious companion.

She dropped to her knees beside him, and wrapped her arms around his unconscious form. Tidus was awkwardly pushed out of the way, and he suddenly felt so uncomfortable—so unneeded, even—that he scooted a few inches away, just to give them a bit more room. Tidus was shocked when Tifa spoke up again—this time directly to him. She had been so focused on Cloud, Tidus didn't think she had even noticed he was there.

“How long has he been like this?” Tifa asked.

“A few hours?” Tidus guessed. He'd lost track of time after he'd fallen asleep.

“And the others healed him—?”

“As much as they could.”

“Oh, Cloud,” the girl whispered, unravelling her arms from Cloud's body, and pulling away so she could analyze his face.

Tidus silently got to his feet and made his way out of the tent, leaving Cloud to the distraught girl. He just hoped she wouldn't notice the spot in Cloud's sleeping bag where his arm had so obviously been for so long.

“How is he?” Lightning asked, when Tidus emerged from the tent, looking a little perturbed.

“Um, don't really know,” Tidus admitted, glancing back at the tent.

“Do you want a hot drink? You look like you need it,” Vaan asked, withdrawing a cup from his bag. Tidus was a little envious when he saw that he and Lightning were already sipping away at the soothing beverages.

“Sure, that'd be great, actually,” he replied, then paused. “When did Tifa get here?” Vaan gave him a slightly amused grin.

“'Bout two minutes ago. We could hardly keep her from tearing the tent down to see her old buddy,” he laughed.

“Are you alright? You seem distracted,” Lightning spoke up, when Tidus hadn't reacted.

“Nah. Just a little worried, is all,” Tidus replied, as he forced himself to walk toward his companions.

He took a seat beside Vaan and watched as the boy poured him up a drink from a small cauldron of water that, judging by the steam, had recently boiled over the fire. Tidus accepted his drink once Vaan had sprinkled a bit of seasoning into it. He brought it to his lips and cautiously took a sip, being careful not to burn himself.

“Mmm... This is pretty good. What's in it?”  
  
“Dried apple. Turns out Lightning's cooking isn't as dull as she is,” Vaan teased.

“Watch it, kid,” Lightning muttered. Vaan just laughed, and Tidus was pretty sure that Lightning didn't hate being teased as much as she pretended she did.

Tidus took another sip of his drink and couldn't help but be reminded of himself and Cloud when he thought about how Vaan and Lightning interacted with each other. Like Lightning, Cloud was distant, and most people were sort of nervous to communicate with him, but Tidus had a way of looking past his standoffish personality. He could smile and joke around with Cloud like it was nothing. Not just anyone could do that.

Looking at it from a distance like that made Tidus understand it a little better; bonding with Cloud really wasn't something he could just give up. He and Cloud had a connection—even Cloud hadn't denied that—and if he was the only one who could really talk to him, then he had to try to be there for Cloud whenever he needed him. But there were still barriers they would have to work through: the argument that he and Cloud had had mere hours ago, Cloud's reluctance to let go of the past, and now... his protective guard, Tifa.

“How long is Tifa gonna stick around?” Tidus asked.

“I doubt she's going anywhere soon,” Lightning replied.

“Yeah, not until Cloud's feeling better,” Vaan agreed.

“And even then, I'm not sure she'll leave his side,” Lightning added, causing Tidus to stare longingly at the tent where Cloud still slept.

“She _has_ been looking for him for a while,” Vaan said, with a nod.

Tidus could feel his face tensing up with worry. What if Tifa and Cloud did decide to travel together after Cloud had healed, and what if Tidus got left behind? Tidus didn't know how he would cope. His mission with Cloud wasn't over.

“Do you have another one of those cups handy?” Tidus asked.

“Yeah, why?” Vaan asked, offering him one. Tidus accepted the cup and filled the cup with water and seasoning before hurrying toward the tent.

“I'm gonna take one to Tifa,” he answered, leaving his own drink abandoned on the ground without another thought.

* * *

The glow of the yellow materia continued to light the tent when Tidus entered. Tifa sat with Cloud's head on her knees, and she repeatedly ran a gentle hand through his hair. Tidus tried to put aside his feelings of discomfort and jealousy as he took a few more steps inside and sat down beside his companions.

“Here,” he said, offering the girl the drink.

“Thank you,” she replied, forcing a smile and accepting the cup; Tidus felt a little relieved when she withdrew her hands from Cloud's hair to do so. The girl took a sip of her drink, and brought her gaze over to meet Tidus'.

“So, you said he's been unconscious for a while?” Tifa asked.

“Yeah, ever since we found him earlier this evening,” Tidus told her.

“I can't stand seeing him like this,” she sighed. “And I don't know what I can do to help him.”

“I know. I feel so useless in situations like this,” Tidus agreed, his eyes moving to rest on Cloud's sleeping face. Tifa did the same, and scrutinized her friend's unsteady breathing.

She didn't want to think about how scared she was for him. The only time she'd been this worried about him had been the time he'd been taken into care at the Mideel clinic, when he'd he'd lost all ability to think.

“Tifa...” Tidus started, bringing the girl out of her thoughts. “Cloud has a hard time trusting people, doesn't he?” he asked, cautiously, as if he were afraid he might be overstepping his boundaries by asking about her dear friend. Tifa took in a deep breath and let it out, staring at the ceiling of the tent for a moment before she spoke.  
  
“That's a good question.” Tidus waited patiently for her to go on, and eventually, she did.

“I don't think it's so much a trust issue as it is a fear of letting people around him get hurt,” she explained.

“You mean, because of Zack?” Tidus asked. Tifa's brows twitched in surprise for a second, but she quickly regained her composure.

“So, you know about Zack,” she said.

“Only a little,” Tidus replied, briefly averting his gaze. “What happened to him?”

Tifa didn't want to invade Cloud's privacy by disclosing this information, but she'd been acquainted with Tidus long enough to know he was only trying to help.

“Zack died saving Cloud's life,” Tifa explained, tossing a section of her dark hair over her shoulder.

“Yeah, that's about all he told me,” Tidus sighed, looking mournful. Tifa watched him for a minute, a sad smile on her face, then she took a breath and began to speak again, immediately catching Tidus' attention.

“Six months ago, when Cloud and I were on a journey in our own world, Cloud got sick. He started to lose his mind. He couldn't function. He could hardly speak anything but gibberish. Long story short, we ended up in the planet's Lifestream, and I had to help Cloud piece together his memories. Turns out the life he'd been living, the person he'd thought he'd been, was all wrong,” Tifa tried to explain. Tidus frowned.

“What do you mean, 'all wrong'?”

“He and Zack had undergone horrible experiments a few years prior, and it finally took a toll on Cloud. That's what jumbled his mind. Ever since Zack died, Cloud's memories just became more and more muddled. He created a persona for himself that, in many ways, resembled Zack, but the Zack that he knew disappeared from his memories,” Tifa told him. She realized the information was confusing, but she hoped Tidus would at least get the gist of what she was saying.

“You mean, he forgot about Zack?” Tidus asked, his eyes widening. He really didn't know how that was possible from the way Cloud talked about him. “I thought they were...” Tidus hesitated, not quite sure how to word it when he wasn't sure how much Tifa knew about them either. “I mean, I heard were really close.”

“They _were_ close, but the mako that poisoned Cloud during the experiment caused him to forget,” Tifa divulged.

Tidus paused for a minute, rethinking the information, then he recalled something important.

“Oh, yeah. When Cloud was talking about Zack, he said something about remembering him? Or, living for...? I can't really remember,” Tidus said, scratching his head as he tried to remember Cloud's exact words. Tifa nodded, knowingly.

“In Zack's dying moments, he told Cloud to live for the both of them. Now, Cloud feels guilty for those years when he didn't remember Zack, and feels it's his responsibility to make up for it now.”

“That's crazy,” Tidus said, his voice weak. “Being asked to live for someone else is a huge burden anyway, but I can't imagine... I can't imagine what he must be feeling.”

“I know,” Tifa said. “I saw Cloud's memories. I know it doesn't always seem like Cloud handles things well, but I give him credit for coping as well as he does. Not just with Zack, but with everything he's lost.” Tidus looked up at her.

“Everything?” he questioned.

“Our hometown, his mother, our friend Aerith... Cloud feels responsible for all of them. Zack is just one piece of the puzzle,” she explained. Tidus sat silently for a minute, and tried to let all of the information fall into place. He wished he hadn't pressed Cloud so hard for answers. If he had only known how much pain he must have been causing him...

“You know so much about him,” Tidus said, quietly.

“Years of friendship will do that,” Tifa replied, with a small smile. “But it's not like he willingly shares these things with me. I can't connect with him.” Tidus brought his eyes up to meet hers.

“What do you mean?” he frowned.

“You know. The way Zack did. From the way you've been talking, I assume you know that he and Cloud were...”

“Oh, y-yeah,” Tidus admitted, embarrassment pushing some color into his cheeks. “I know.”

Silence fell upon them, both feeling somewhat ashamed for talking about Cloud's personal life when he was right there, unable to defend himself. Tifa's hands hugged her mug tightly, one finger tapping anxiously on the side. After a moment, Tidus got up and stretched his arms above his head. Tifa watched him curiously.

“I'll let you get back to your nurse duty,” he said, forcing a smile.

“You don't want to help?” she asked.

Tidus hesitated a moment, but he eventually shook his head. Things were so much clearer now. He understood why Cloud acted the way he did, why he hurt, and frowned, and mourned. It made sense that Cloud would try and protect himself, to keep Tidus at a distance.

Yes, maybe Tidus _could_ help, but maybe doing so would hurt Cloud more than it was worth. He wasn't sure he wanted to keep trying unless Cloud gave him the go-ahead. He and Cloud would probably never be more than friends, and if that was the case, then why not let Tifa be the friend to comfort him? She knew him better than he did, and could take care of him just as well. She had been the one by his side for most of his life. She deserved to be here with him now.

“No, I'm gonna take night-watch so the others can sleep,” Tidus told her.

“Okay,” she said, taking another gulp of her drink, then giving him a smile. “See you in the morning.”

“Yeah, see ya,” Tidus replied, with a forced grin. “Oh, and, uh, just keep an eye on Cloud, okay? Make sure to keep him warm if he starts shivering again. I... think he likes that,” Tidus timidly informed her, before quickly turning and heading for the door of the tent.

“Hey,” Tifa called, making him stop in his tracks. “Do you think... Cloud might feel something for you?” she asked.

Tidus' breath caught in his throat, and it took all of his strength to make himself turn around and face her again. For the longest time, he couldn't think of what to say. He stood there dumbfounded while Tifa watched him with curious eyes.

“No,” he finally managed. “I don't think so.”

“Hmm, I wish he could find someone,” Tifa admitted, hugging her knees. “Someone he could confide in.”

She had said it so calmly that Tidus wasn't sure how to react for a minute. A long, silent moment passed, and eventually Tidus sighed and sat back down.

“So do I,” he softly agreed. “He keeps too much bottled up, and I know it bothers him sometimes.” It took a few seconds for Tifa to speak again.

“Tidus, you care about him, don't you?” she asked. After all the questions he'd asked tonight, it was obvious he showed an interest in Cloud's well-being.

Tidus tried to hide the feeling of panic that was rushing into his lungs. Could Tifa see how deep his feelings were for Cloud?

“Um, yeah. Of course, I do. He's my friend,” Tidus answered, a weak smile on his face that he was sure Tifa could see through.

Tifa stared at him for a long time before she smiled and looked away. She regretted making Tidus feel awkward, but there was an inkling in the back of her mind, telling her that he could help. If he hadn't shied away from Cloud after learning about Zack, if he was still here inquiring about and showing compassion for Cloud, then did he have what was necessary to cut Cloud away from his desolation? Could he bridge the gap between Cloud and the brighter side of life?

“Tidus, if there's some way you can reach him better than I can, please do,” she said. Tidus pretended he didn't know what she meant, what she was really implying. In fact, he half-suspected he had misunderstood her. Would she really try to set him up with Cloud?

“You bet. I'll try talking to him mano-a-mano,” he replied, with a grin.

Tifa smiled, but wore a look of defeat, like she thought Tidus still didn't understand. She breathed in, willing to give it one final attempt—this time, a more indirect approach. She hoped it would at least lessen the tension she had created.

“Tidus? Just take care of him, okay?” she asked.

Tidus hesitated again, but when he saw the desperation in her eyes, he gave a sigh and let go of the lies. Tifa seemed at ease with all of this—something for which he was very grateful—and he figured he'd might as well be, too. Finally, he flashed her the sincerest of smiles and opened his mouth to speak once more.

“I will,” he said, his gaze returning to his sleeping friend. Tifa smiled contentedly as he continued to fondly stare. “I promise.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of notes: I find it sort of funny how badly I portrayed Vaan in this chapter, when actually, I adore Vaan. haha. Oh well. Also, Tifa? Yes, she knows a lot, but I figured she would after having been in Cloud's memories. I like that she cares about Cloud enough to try and get Tidus to help him out. I think that's all I needed to mention for now. Enjoy, and please stick around for more!! Thanks for reading!!


	13. Acquiesced

**Chapter 13: Acquiesced**

Tidus' night-watch was uneventful, and he spent the next day catching up on his missed hours of sleep. It wasn't until that night that he got to be by Cloud's side again. As soon as he awoke, he rushed out of Tifa's tent and into Lightning's. There lay Cloud, eyes closed, sleeping bag pulled up to his chin. At least he appeared to be in a more peaceful slumber than the last time Tidus had seen him.

To the right sat Tifa, her hands working efficiently to mend what looked to be Cloud's shirt. She looked up when Tidus entered, and gave him a gentle smile. Tidus smiled shyly back, looking almost afraid to come in any further for fear of intruding, but Tifa waved him forward. Tidus crossed the tent and knelt down in front of her.

"What'cha up to?" he asked, curiously, eyeing the material in her hands.

"Just fixing this tear. It must have ripped when Cloud got hurt," she explained, carefully slipping her sewing needle in and out of the hole in the material, closing it a little bit more with each stitch.

Tidus glanced to the side, taking in Cloud's static expression, his quick breaths. He frowned, wishing so badly there was something he could do to take away his pain. He fought to keep his gaze from lingering.

"How's he been?" he dared to ask.

"He's been coming in and out of consciousness," Tifa replied. Tidus stifled a sigh of relief.

"Is he talking?" he asked.

"A little."

Tidus' gaze returned to Cloud, and he silently searched that sleeping face for answers. Like, what had happened to get him hurt the night before, and would he ever explain to Tidus the things that Tifa had revealed to him instead?

"Tidus?" Tifa spoke up again, immediately grabbing his attention again. "I think it was Sephiroth who hurt him."

"Sephiroth. He's sort of Cloud's nemesis, isn't he?" Tidus inquired. He'd heard bits and pieces about the man, enough to know that Cloud loathed him, and longed to defeat him.

"The two go back a ways," Tifa nodded.

Tidus watched as she pulled her sewing needle through Cloud's shirt a final time, successfully closing up the tear. She knotted it a few times to secure it, then she leaned over and gently tugged Cloud's sleeping bag down toward his abdomen. Cloud shivered at the cool air, and Tidus' eyes were drawn to his shakily rising chest, all covered in bandages that looked to soon be in need of a change.

"I guess those should be tended to before putting his shirt back on," Tifa sighed. Tidus eyed her carefully. She looked exhausted, and it was no wonder; she'd been watching over Cloud non-stop since the night before.

"I can do it if you want," Tidus offered. "You should rest for a bit."

"Would you mind? I am pretty tired," Tifa admitted.

"I don't mind. Just tell me what to do," Tidus nodded. Tifa smiled softly in agreement. She grabbed her bag from behind her and set it down in front of the younger man.

"There's water and cloths in here. Just clean up the wound a bit before applying the new bandages. They're in there, too."

"Will do," Tidus grinned, saluting her, playfully. Tifa smiled again before her gaze returned one last time to her childhood friend. She wouldn't feel right leaving him with just anyone, but Tidus' willingness to help put her at ease. Tifa brushed a hand over Cloud's hair, and hoped that by some miracle, Tidus might put Cloud at ease, too.

"I won't be far," the girl promised, as she got to her feet. "Let me know if you need some help."

"Gotcha," Tidus smiled, watching as she slipped out of the tent. Tidus drew in a deep breath and let it out as he focused his attention on Cloud once more. The poor man was still shivering, and Tidus didn't want anything more than to see him warming up in his bedroll again; he would have to work fast.

Tidus pushed his sleeve up past his elbow, ready to get his hands—or rather, his gloves—dirty. He pulled open the drawstrings of Tifa's bag and dug through it until he found her canteen and the cloths she had mentioned. He set them aside, and brought his hands to Cloud's chest with some uncertainty; he had to admit he was a little nervous. His eyes darted toward Cloud's face to make sure Cloud—conscious or not—wouldn't have any objections to his medical duties.

With no watchful eyes on him now, Tidus found his gaze lingering longer than he'd intended. Cloud really did look peaceful. And... beautiful. Tidus swallowed hard as he continued to stare—at those long dark lashes that concealed his luminous sky-blue eyes, such a contrast to his golden hair; at his long, pointed nose, and thin, downward-turned brows; at his jawline that had probably gained its strong appearance from a lifetime of tension.

Tidus breathed in deeply, his eyes following that jaw down to a rounded chin, which rested just a couple of inches below a set of faded pink lips. They were parted ever so slightly, and Tidus wanted more than ever to lean into them. They were practically begging for him.

Tidus shook his head, and mentally scolded himself for thinking such things. He redirected his thoughts, hands working to undo the pin that held Cloud's bandages in place. Within seconds, Tidus undid it, and carefully slipped a hand under Cloud's back. His movements were slow as he brought Cloud's upper body in against him, but even such gentle manoeuvres couldn't keep Cloud in the depths of his slumber.

Tidus was startled when he saw Cloud's brows crinkle, like he was in pain, and Tidus desperately hoped he hadn't been the cause of it. He continued to support Cloud's back and shoulders, and after a second or two, those sky-blue eyes that he so admired flickered into view. Cloud released a small grunt as he struggled to bring his world into focus.

"Tidus?" he choked out.

"Hey, buddy. How are ya doin'?" Tidus asked, gently. Cloud briefly closed his eyes before speaking again.

"I... mm... Pretty sore."

"Not surprised. That was quite a nasty cut you got," Tidus nodded, mustering a half-smile for Cloud's sake. Cloud hardly seemed to react.

"Tifa wanted me to change these bandages for you. That okay?" Tidus asked, heart pounding harder than it should have been in that moment, but he needed that permission to continue. He needed to know that Cloud was okay with him being there. Since their fight, he hadn't been so sure.

"Yeah," Cloud nodded, and it seemed that even that small movement of his head had taken quite some effort. Tidus fought back what would have been a rather wide smile due to Cloud's approval, but his contentment didn't last long as he realized how weak his comrade truly was. He was taken aback when Cloud's head lolled in against his chest, those glowing blue eyes falling closed again.

"Whoa, you okay?"

"Mm-hmm. Just... need some more rest," Cloud replied, dozily. Tidus stared down at him; he was out like a light again. Unable to keep from worrying, Tidus pressed two fingers below Cloud's jaw, feeling for a pulse. It was fast, but not noticeably faster than it had been the night before. This time, Tidus let a sigh of relief slip past his lips, and he got back to work.

With one arm, he continued to hold Cloud up against him, while the other unwrapped the bloodied bandages from around Cloud's torso. One-handed—and not without difficulty—he undid the cap on the canteen, and wet one of the cloths. Being mindful of Cloud's discomfort, he used limited pressure as he dabbed at Cloud's back and front, but still managed to clean away the dark, dry blood.

His hands yearned to remain on that pale skin, to caress it, to heal the deep, reddened cuts. Tidus wished he was a more talented medic, like Lightning, and that he could lend Cloud his energy. He longed to diminish that searing pain, but he couldn't. The best he could do was watch over Cloud, and make him as comfortable as he could.

Once more, he pulled Cloud in close, this time a little closer even as he wound the fresh bandages around his chest and back. It took a while to complete on his own, but he remained focused. With nimble fingers, he inserted the pin, and clasped it closed, successfully securing the bandages in place. He was about to lay Cloud back down when the man shivered again, and fidgeted slightly to fall in closer to Tidus' warmth.

Now, his shoulder was flush against Tidus' chest, and his head rested against Tidus' neck. Tidus knew he shouldn't bask in it, but at the same time, he couldn't help it. He had asked for Cloud's permission to help, and Cloud had given it. And if Cloud was allowing his aid, then couldn't warming him up count, too?

"It _is_ kinda chilly in here, isn't it?" Tidus said, softly, as Cloud continued to sleep. He eyed Cloud's shirt which lay a foot or so away. He debated trying to reach for it, but even if he could reach it, he probably wouldn't have been able to get Cloud into it by himself. Tidus wrapped his arms around Cloud's cold body, and rubbed gently at his arms, trying to warm him, but after a moment, he stopped himself. This just wasn't right.

It wasn't right to take advantage of Cloud this way when he wasn't aware of his surroundings. It wasn't fair to either of them. Tidus could hold Cloud, and talk to him, and pretend things were perfect between them, but in the end, that would only make Tidus hurt more. Tidus didn't want any part of their relationship to be imaginary; he wanted Cloud's feelings to be as real and sincere as his were, and right now, that just wasn't the case.

With a sigh, Tidus lowered Cloud to his sleeping bag, and pulled it up around his shoulders once again. Cloud settled into its warmth just as easily and comfortably as he had with Tidus', and Tidus wasn't sure whether he was relieved about it or not. It didn't matter what he felt. He refused to act further until he was sure he was doing the right thing.

"I want to help you. I do," Tidus told his dormant friend. His fingers twitched, just dying to reach out and offer some comfort—a pat on Cloud's shoulder, a hair ruffle, perhaps—yet Tidus kept them still at his side.

"But I need you to let me."

Cloud continued to sleep, deaf to the words directed at him, but Tidus hoped that somewhere in his unconsciousness, he could hear them, and that one day, he might actually contemplate them. Tidus closed his eyes, unable to stop his brain from imagining beautiful possibilities.

"Please," Tidus whispered. "Just let me."

* * *

That night was a long one. Even after having caught up on his sleep, Tidus still found himself dozing off now and then as he watched over Cloud. It wasn't that he was bored—he wasn't—but hours of anxiously staring at that sleeping face, wondering if Cloud was going to recover, certainly took its toll after a while.

"Rough night?" Tifa asked, noting the dark circles under the boy's eyes. Tidus blinked a few times to perk himself up, and gave a reluctant nod, a little disappointed that his stress was showing.

"Just worried about him, that's all," he replied. A sad, understanding smile appeared on Tifa's face as she sat down.

"I'll take it from here, if you want," she offered. Tidus yawned, and stretched his arms above his head.

"That's alright. I'll stay for a bit longer," he smiled. Tifa nodded, grateful for his kindness, and smiled back softly as they turned their attention toward their sleeping friend. Lightning broke the momentary silence as she entered the tent with confident strides.

"You wanted me to take another look?" she asked.

"Oh, of course," Tifa said. She got to her feet, and took a few steps back, giving Lightning some room. Tidus figured he should do the same, and he hurried to stand at Tifa's side.

The two watched carefully as Lightning knelt down next to Cloud. She lowered the sleeping bag away from Cloud's neck, and pressed her fingers to the side of Cloud's throat, feeling for his pulse, as Tidus had. An obvious frown came over her already stern features.

"What is it?" Tifa asked, tension clear in her voice.

"His heart-rate is faster. Way too fast," she observed. "And his skin is freezing. Have you been keeping him warm?" Both pairs of eyes turned to Tidus, who rubbed the back of his head, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"I, uh, I mean I kept that sleeping bag on him, but..." Lightning cut his sentence short with a loud sigh as she reached into her pocket. She withdrew a potion, and wrapped an arm around Cloud's shoulders, sitting him up high enough that he wouldn't choke on the liquid.

"He needs to be kept warm, or he's not going to make it," she said, and she swore she heard Tidus choke on his breath. Tifa rushed over to Cloud's other side and knelt down. With a surprisingly steady hand, she squeezed Cloud's shoulder gently.

"Come on, Cloud. Come on," she coaxed. She shook him slightly, and his eyes opened lazily.

"Tifa?"

"That's it. Come on. You need to drink."

Tidus watched as Lightning brought the potion bottle to Cloud's mouth. He hated the way she was practically force-feeding him the stuff—such a rude awakening—but it only made Tidus recognize the urgency of the moment. Cloud was fading. And why? Because Tidus had kept his distance? Because he had told himself that holding Cloud close was wrong? That it was just a selfish desire? If he'd only known.

Tidus felt his hands clench into fists.

"I-I'm sorry. I should have realized. I should have checked to make sure he was okay," he said, but the girls were too preoccupied to hear his apology.

"Will the potion help?" Tifa asked, as Cloud successfully swallowed a mouthful. He coughed a little after it had gone down, but he nodded in approval as Lightning attempted to bring the bottle back to his lips a second time.

"Hopefully, it will improve his vitals. Should at least help with the pain," Lightning replied, voice firm. "You and Vaan should gather up our bedrolls. We'll need them to keep him warm."

"Right," Tifa nodded. Once she was satisfied that Lightning had the potion situation under control, she rushed to her feet, and scurried out of the tent.

"You just gonna stand there?" Lightning asked, tone almost mocking. Tidus shook his head, finally finding his will to move.

"Here. Let me do this. You start healing," Tidus said, kneeling beside Lightning, and outstretching his arms.

Lightning eyed him curiously, but quickly decided to place her faith in him. Tidus moved in close, and Lightning allowed him to support Cloud's shoulders in her place. She handed Tidus the potion bottle, then moved down towards Cloud's chest. She retrieved her materia from her pocket, and placed a hand on the bandages that Tidus had applied. Thankfully, they hadn't bled through like the last ones. She closed her eyes, and began her healing, palms filling with a bright green glow.

"Can you take another drink?" Tidus asked, gently. Cloud stared up into those calming blue eyes, and nodded.

"Yeah."

"Mm-kay," Tidus said, tilting the potion bottle against Cloud's lips. Cloud gulped down another mouthful, but Tidus could see him growing weaker, sleepier. It was no wonder. Healing magic sometimes had that effect anyway, and with all the shivering and pain on top of that...

"Good job," Tidus smiled, softly, effectively hiding his concern. "Can we go again?

"Yeah," Cloud agreed. Tidus maintained a brave face as he fed Cloud another swig of the potion, but Cloud's paling face and freezing skin made him fear that they were in for another long day.

* * *

The day was indeed a hectic one, but their healing efforts had proven to be worth it. With the pain in his chest reduced for a while, and a new bundle of sleeping bags to warm him up, Cloud remained conscious for the majority of the afternoon. Tifa and Vaan each took a turn staying with Cloud, engaging in only brief conversation with him, and encouraging him to rest the remainder of the time.

No one wanted to ask Cloud about his encounter in the forest, fearing it might upset him, but it was a little unnerving to them, not knowing who had so brutally attacked him. They also didn't know how the fight had ended, and whether Cloud had been successful in defeating whatever opponent had harmed him. To be on the safe side, Lightning decided to keep watch outside, in case the enemy chose to show up again.

Tidus still felt he was running low on sleep—he'd only caught a few hours in the afternoon while Tifa and Vaan had taken over—but he wasn't about to decline a night by Cloud's side, especially after Tifa had declared Cloud's health to be deteriorating again, and asked Tidus specifically to take the next shift.

After saying goodnight to the others, Tidus settled down with the now sleeping Cloud, his arm falling into place around the layers of bedrolls that protected his friend's cold body—Lightning's orders, not that he minded having an excuse to hold Cloud so close.

He felt his mind start to wander. He thought about what might happen when Cloud woke up. Cloud had been a little delirious, even when Vaan and Tifa were talking to him earlier; whether that was from the remaining pain, the large doses of healing, or the lack of blood, no one was certain. Tidus' wary mind automatically assumed the worst, but the boy forced the negative thoughts out of his brain as he pulled himself in a little closer to Cloud's weak, trembling body; he knew Cloud's symptoms were normal for people who suffered from blood loss, but it didn't stop him from worrying.

Tidus let his chin fall gently onto Cloud's shoulder. He watched Cloud's chest rise and fall quickly as he lay on his side, and listened to his rapidly beating heart. Tidus knew that was normal, too, but he wished their earlier healing session had been able to take away these awful symptoms, not just the pain.

Cloud groaned weakly in his sleep as his body shook with a violent tremor. Tidus just adjusted his arm around his middle, letting him know he was there.

"I know," he whispered. "You feel awful, don't you? I'm sorry."

Tidus cast a glance at the tent door. He listened hard. It was quiet. Probably everyone had gone to bed now except Lightning, and he doubted she would have a reason to enter now. His eyes returned to Cloud's languid form, and though his mind told him not to act, his heart couldn't help it.

Tidus' fingers reached for the top of the sleeping bag, and he tugged it down ever so slightly. Tidus' insides filled with adrenaline as he pressed his lips to Cloud's shoulder in a long, drawn-out kiss. That skin felt so soft, and so right against Tidus' lips, but its cold temperature only reminded Tidus of the dire situation they were faced with. Cloud's life was in danger. He couldn't forget that.

He would have at least liked for Cloud to fall into a more comfortable sleep—like he had the night before—but after learning so much about Cloud's tragic past, Tidus wondered if Cloud was _ever_ able to get a gratifying sleep, one without nightmares.

Cloud started to stir in Tidus' arms, and Tidus instinctively pulled his lips away, his arm loosening its firm grasp around Cloud's waist; he didn't want to make his friend feel crowded. He watched Cloud's face scrunch up, like he wasn't sure what was going on.

It took a minute for his surroundings to register in his mind, but Cloud soon felt the familiar warmth of the person next to him. He knew who it was. None of his other companions would ever embrace him this way. Not even Tifa who had held him most of the afternoon. Cloud knew those arms. He had been in their strong, but gentle embrace before.

Cloud grunted as he came to, the ache in his chest worsening as his tired mind awoke. He tried to move a hand to the wound, but it was too heavy. Cloud's eyes flickered open, and searched until he found Tidus' gaze behind him.

"You're okay. Go back to sleep," Tidus told Cloud, gently. He went to scoot backwards, to give Cloud some more space until he dozed off again, but stopped the second he heard Cloud's quiet voice.

"Tidus... Stay." Under normal circumstances, Cloud probably would have objected to Tidus' embrace, but right now, he couldn't reject the comfort. That comfort distracted him from the harsh reality of the situation.

Tidus blinked in confusion. He wasn't sure if Cloud had given him a request or an order. He hesitated, reluctant to make a move unless he was sure Cloud truly wanted him to. When Cloud turned his head to look for him, he obliged, his heart pounding as it filled with an incredible warmth.

He lay down once more, and brought Cloud in against him. He felt Cloud trembling under his arm for a few seconds before he started to relax again. Tidus pulled the sleeping bag higher up onto Cloud's shoulder in hopes of fighting off his powerful shivers.

"I thought you were mad at me," Tidus said, softly. Cloud shook his head, weakly.

"I'm not mad at you," he said, his eyes falling sleepily closed again. Tidus hesitated, realizing that was probably as close to an apology as he was going to get. After everything, he was more than willing to accept it.

Tidus watched in sorrow as Cloud shuddered again, but still forced himself to speak. "In fact, I... I thought _you_ were mad at _me,_ " Cloud went on. There was a mocking sort of bitterness in his tone, and Tidus sensed that Cloud was regretful for what had happened between them in the woods. That only made Tidus' heart ache more.

"Cloud, I was _frustrated_ with you. Doesn't mean I was mad at you," Tidus gently explained. Cloud nodded, tiredly, eyes still closed.

"How do you feel?" Tidus asked, his brows furrowed in concern; Cloud didn't have to look to detect Tidus' worry.

"Sort of like I'm on the way out," Cloud admitted, his body emphasizing that point with another powerful shiver.

"Don't say that. You'll be fine," Tidus promised. Cloud said nothing more. He honestly doubted he would pull through. He could only get stabbed through the chest so many times before his luck ran out, but having Tidus beside him now made him feel better. If he was going to die, at least he wouldn't be dying alone. He would die knowing he mattered to someone.

They were both quiet for several seconds after that, and Tidus worried that if he didn't speak soon, Cloud would drift off again. Normally, he wouldn't have minded—in fact, if Cloud needed the rest, Tidus certainly wanted him to receive it—but there was something on his mind, and he couldn't hold back the question any longer.

"Cloud, after you were hurt, did you... whistle?"

Cloud's eyes practically flew open, and his gaze refused to settle on any one spot; it was certainly nowhere near Tidus'. He wouldn't dare turn his head, for fear of Tidus catching a glimpse of his embarrassment.

"Whistle?" he asked, playing dumb.

"Yeah. It was quite a few minutes after you took off, I heard this... whistling coming from the woods. And I was surprised when it led us to you," Tidus explained, slowly. Cloud blinked a few times through heavy lids, but said nothing.

"Cloud, did you know that Yuna and I used to use that as a code? A way to find each other when we're in danger or get separated?" Tidus tried, brows creasing in desperation for an answer. Cloud sighed, and waited for his tongue to speak the truth.

"Yeah, I... I heard you two talking about it once."

"So, why?" Tidus asked, voice fading. He waited, but Cloud still didn't speak, and Tidus came to his own alarming conclusion. "Cloud. Did you think I wouldn't come find you if you just called for help? You thought you had to trick me into thinking it was Yuna who was in trouble?"

"I don't know," Cloud admitted, voice low. "I guess... I was just afraid you wouldn't come." He felt Tidus' arm grip him a little tighter, and he tried to ignore how comforting it was, how safe it made him feel.

"You're my friend," Tidus spoke up, confidently. "Above all else, you're my friend. You can always count on me, okay?" Cloud felt the slightest twitches of a smile. Tidus may have had a knack for corny clichés, but he had a good heart. He _most definitely_ had a good heart.

"Okay," Cloud agreed, his eyes falling closed again.

"And Cloud? I'm, um, I'm really sorry for saying that thing about Zack. I shouldn't have."

"It's alright. Storming off wasn't my finest moment, either," he said, coughing a little through the pain in his chest.

"Who was it who attacked you?" Tidus asked, cautiously.

"Sephiroth."

"That's what Tifa was afraid of. Did he get away?" Tidus asked.

"No. He's dead," Cloud said, his voice gruff.

"You killed him?" Tidus asked, a little surprised.

"Just barely," Cloud answered, his head lolling to the side, weakly; the conversation had obviously worn him out.

"I'll let you get back to sleep if you want," Tidus said, absentmindedly stroking his thumb across the fabric of the sleeping bag where his arm was wrapped tightly against his companion's body. Cloud must have noticed, but didn't seem to mind.

"Is Tifa still around?" Cloud asked. Tidus felt all his confidence slipping away with that one question.

Of course, Cloud would want Tifa near. Of course, he would choose her over him. Tidus had to ask himself: who was he in Cloud's eyes, anyway? Just Tidus—clingy, over-protective, persistent Tidus.

Tidus swallowed hard as words began frantically pouring out of his mouth.

"Yeah, she's in the other tent. You want me to get her? I'll get her," he babbled, as he started to move away from Cloud once more.

"No," Cloud answered, turning his head to make sure Tidus wasn't leaving. Tidus turned back slowly, making sure he had heard right.

"No," he repeated, his eyes—which looked even a tad fearful—locking with Tidus'. When Tidus still didn't move back to his previous position, Cloud withdrew a cold hand from his sleeping bag and gently tugged on Tidus' arm. Their gazes remained entwined for a long moment, Tidus silently begging Cloud for answers, while Cloud's gaze simply tugged Tidus toward him. Tidus decided Cloud didn't need to explain himself; if Cloud wanted his comfort, he would receive it.

"Get that arm back under there. You're freezing enough as it is," Tidus said, with a small smile as he pulled the sleeping bag around Cloud once more.

Cloud seemed to relax as Tidus lay down with him again, one arm snaking its way around his middle. This time, Tidus slipped his other arm under Cloud's head to support him a little better since there were no pillows to break the contact between Cloud and the hard ground beneath the tent. The Ex-SOLDIER whispered a 'thank you' as he settled down to resume his slumber.

Tidus just watched him, and knew exactly when Cloud had fallen asleep again as the tension in his face vanished. His breathing became slower and heavy. Tidus wanted to stay in this moment and never let go. Here he was with Cloud in his arms, his knees tucked up behind Cloud's and their bodies pressed together into the same shape for maximum warmth. It still wasn't under the circumstance he had hoped for, but Cloud needed him now, and that meant something. With a soft smile on his lips, Tidus closed his eyes, and promised himself that he would never forget this moment.

 


	14. Moved

**Chapter 14: Moved**

Tidus' sweet dreams were interrupted when he felt himself being nudged gently in the chest. As he continued to wake, he heard Cloud's quiet repetitions of his name. With a relaxed yawn, Tidus opened his eyes and gave Cloud a gentle squeeze in his arms.

"What's up?" Tidus asked, with a sleepy smile.

"Tidus, I feel weak," Cloud replied, his eyes travelling back to look at the man behind him. Tidus immediately shook his head, freeing himself of the last of sleep's grasp, and propping himself up to get a better look at his friend.

"Like, worse than you were before?" Tidus asked, words stringing together nervously.

"Yeah." Cloud's eyelids fell closed, which only increased Tidus worry. Reluctantly, he pulled away from his companion.

"Okay, listen, I'm gonna go get Lightning. Maybe she can help with some healing magic," the younger man said, getting up from his position and heading for the door of the tent. He glanced back at Cloud in concern when he didn't respond.

"You okay?" Tidus asked, just to make sure.

"Mm-hmm," Cloud uttered, his scrunched up mouth and tightly shut eyes displaying his obvious discomfort. Tidus' stomach turned as he realized he didn't have much time.

Cloud heard Tidus unzip the tent and leave, and all that remained was a painful, empty silence. The warmth of Tidus' body had already begun to fade, and Cloud felt frightened at the thought of being left alone in such a state. He could feel himself continuously growing colder, feebler, and he feared Tidus might not make it back in time to help him. Or to say goodbye. For some reason, Cloud really didn't want to go out without telling Tidus goodbye.

Cloud felt like he should be welcoming the end—he may have been well on his way to Zack—but now that he was here, dying for real, he wasn't so sure he wanted it. This still wasn't the hero's death he longed for. Yes, Sephiroth was gone, but Cloud's heart still felt empty, like his efforts still held no meaning. And that wasn't all.

His mind flickered to the future. There were still so many things he hadn't done, so many unturned stones and unexplored paths. There was still a battle to be fought with Cosmos, even if Cloud sometimes had trouble seeing a reason to fight it. There were still people he cared about back home—his friends and little Marlene. There were his fellow Cosmos warriors who still might need his aid. And once again, his mind travelled back to Tidus—Tidus that he had hurt time and time again. He hoped he would at least have time to make things right. After all, Tidus had stayed with him until the end.

Just as Cloud tried to figure out what he would say when and _if_ Tidus returned, he felt his mind shutting down. Tiny dots danced in his vision. He thought he called out a name, but he wasn't sure whose, or even if he had managed to make a sound loud enough to be heard. He could just barely hear people rushing to his side as he fell once more into unconsciousness.

* * *

"Light, I can't—" Vaan protested, withdrawing his tired, weakened hands from Cloud's chest.

The night seemed to be going on forever. Even with both Vaan and Lightning doing their best to bring Cloud back to them, they couldn't get him to regain consciousness. Tidus wanted to be comforted by the fact that Cloud was still breathing, but each breath was quicker and unsteadier than the one before.

"Guys, c'mon, keep going," Tidus pleaded, his throat sounding so tight, like he was trying not to be sick. He stood a few feet behind the healers, along with Tifa, who was fidgeting anxiously. To their dismay, Lightning followed Vaan's lead, and pulled her hands away from their injured companion.

"Why'd you stop?" Tifa choked out.

"Because this is useless. He's too far gone," Lightning admitted, shaking her head.

For the first time, Tidus detected a look of sympathy within Lightning's blue-green eyes. Under the circumstances, it only made him feel worse. If she was upset, there was a reason for it. Their efforts were in vain. Tidus felt his body freeze, his heart sink into the pit of his stomach.

Tifa squeaked out a sob, and covered her mouth with her hand. She felt Tidus clench his fists hard beside her, his body starting to shake.

"There's got to be... _something_ you can do," he said, slowly, taking a step toward the healers. He tried to not to let his gaze linger on Cloud because he knew it would hurt too much. This was Cloud. _His_ Cloud. He couldn't let this end before it even began.

Vaan stared up at him, biting his lip. He understood as well as anyone—perhaps even better than most—the pain of losing those he held dear, and if he had believed there was a chance of saving Cloud, he certainly would have continued to try. Vaan knew in his heart, however, that this was beyond his abilities, and Lightning's. He couldn't help but think back to brother, when he lay dying three years ago. Like in Reks' case, Cloud's cuts were gone, but no amount of healing could ever fix the damage on the inside.

"Tidus? Tifa? I'm sorry," Vaan spoke up.

"As am I. Truly sorry," Lightning agreed, her head hanging low. She got to her feet, and walked with quiet steps toward the door of the tent. She unzipped it, and paused there, giving each of her companions one last apologetic glance before dismissing herself from the tent.

"Vaan, please?" Tifa begged, as Vaan got to his feet. He merely shrugged.

"Guys, I can't," he said, voice trembling. He looked so worn, and so defeated, that when he went to leave the tent, Tifa and Tidus felt too guilty to stop him.

The tent was silent except for the remaining warriors' shaky breaths. Bravely, Tidus turned his head to meet Tifa's gaze. She simply shook her head, hand clasped over her mouth. They stared into each other's terrified eyes, but found no comfort—only despair. With a deep breath, Tifa let her hand fall.

"Tidus, I... I need a minute," Tifa whispered, weakly, stepping quietly out of the tent.

Tidus watched her go, then pulled his gaze back to the dying man before him. Tidus shivered, and hugged himself, rubbing his arms in an attempt to stay calm, but he couldn't. That four-foot distance between him and Cloud was begging to be closed, and Tidus couldn't ignore it. If he waited much longer, his chance could very well be gone.

Tidus fought tears as he curled up alongside Cloud, pulling his familiar, cold body in against his warm one. This time, he turned Cloud to face him and tucked Cloud's head in against his neck. He pulled Cloud's sleeping bag up over his shoulders once again, hoping that by some miracle, the warmth might bring Cloud back to him.

"I'm sorry, Cloud," Tidus whispered. "I wish I knew how to help you."

Tidus closed his eyes, and drowned in the moment. He counted each of Cloud's quick breaths as they warmed his neck. He memorized the feeling of Cloud's heart rapidly pounding against his own chest. He pressed a kiss to Cloud's hair, and rubbed a thumb over the small of Cloud's back through the blankets. So, this was it. This was goodbye.

He didn't bother to move when he heard someone unzipping the tent; he could tell from the footsteps that it was Tifa returning. The girl slipped inside, closing the tent behind her, and she stared down at Tidus with a tender look that Tidus couldn't identify. He wiped at his face when he suspected some tears may have escaped him.

"I was just trying to warm him up," Tidus scrambled to explain, but Tifa didn't seem bothered by the way he was holding Cloud so close. She proceeded further inside the tent and knelt down beside Tidus.

"Is it helping?" the girl asked, with a delicate voice. Tidus shook his head.

"I don't think so. I think we're losing him," he replied, weakly.

His eyes met Tifa's. Both could see that the other was trying not to break down. Tifa eventually shook her head and lay down on Cloud's other side, a hand coming to rest on his side. Tidus forced a weak smile to thank her, and together, they hoped for the best.

Several long, silent moments passed before commotion could be heard outside the tent. Tifa and Tidus exchanged glances when they heard Lightning arguing with someone. With a frown, Tidus got up from his position beside Cloud and went to unzip the tent to take a peek. When he did, he found himself staring at a familiar face.

"Firion!" he exclaimed, apparent surprise etched into his features.

"We've got a cure. Move out of the way, okay?" Firion said, giving Tidus a gentle pat on the shoulder as he made his way into the tent.

"Cecil?" Tidus gave a half-smile to the man who followed behind Firion.

"Good to see you again," he replied. Tifa got to her feet, and moved to stand beside Tidus near the door. Vaan entered the tent a moment later.

"Where's Lightning?" Tidus asked him.

"Keeping watch. Says she doesn't believe this'll work anyway," Vaan answered.

He and Tidus turned their attention to what the newest arrivals were doing. Firion uncovered Cloud from his sleeping bag, then held out his hand as Cecil presented him with what looked to be a glowing ball of white light. Firion stayed still, letting it rest in his palms for a moment.

"What is that?" Tifa asked.

"A gift from Cosmos," Cecil replied.

"You met Cosmos?" Vaan asked, his loud voice full of surprise.

"Shh. I need to concentrate," Firion told him. Everyone went silent.

With a deep inhale, Firion thrust the shining light against Cloud's chest, causing Cloud's back to arch off the ground. He looked like he was in pain, and Tidus instinctively rushed to stop whatever Firion was doing to him.

"Hey, you're hurting him!" Tidus shouted. Cecil put an arm out to stop him.

"It's alright," he assured the younger man.

Tidus was reluctant to let Firion continue, but he glanced at Tifa, who he'd expected would be as panicked as he was. Instead, she met Tidus' eyes with a certain calmness. She was trusting them, and she wanted Tidus to do the same. Tidus bit his lip as he forced himself to stand back and watch.

Before long, the glow went out of Firion's hands, and Cloud fell limply back onto his bedroll. Firion withdrew his hands from Cloud's chest and turned his palms over to stare at them; they were burned bright red. He rushed away from Cloud, and Cecil moved in to start healing his injured hands. Meanwhile, Tidus, Tifa, and Vaan crowded around Cloud, watching, hoping that his eyes would flicker open.

Cloud was dreaming. Or, he was pretty sure he was dreaming, at least. He could see a lot of puffy white fluff. Maybe they were clouds. Or pillows. Finally, the white substance—whatever it was—started to fade in the middle, leaving a narrow circle in which Cloud could see other things. Forms. People. Cloud felt himself blink a couple of times and he tried to focus on those people. The white border around his vision made it so hard to make them out.

He focused on the one on the left. Long dark hair. Red-brown eyes. Tifa. Cloud's spirits fell at the thought that he might be back home. Home, where everything hurt so much more.

Cloud coughed, and closed his eyes. This time when they opened, they examined the figure on the right with white-blond hair. He recognized the face, but it was like a vague memory. That face belonged to someone that Cloud's hazy mind couldn't identify at the moment.

Cloud dragged his eyes over to the figure in the middle, and allowed his gaze to rest there. Before him were blue eyes, sandy blond hair, and familiar pink lips that looked to be repeating his name. Cloud struggled to remember who it was. Whoever it was seemed important. Whoever it was cared about him; he remembered that much. He felt relieved when his brain started to piece together the name that belonged to that face.

"Ti...dus?"

"He's okay!" Tidus said, quickly, his eyes widening a little as he glanced around at his companions. "He's okay!" he shouted this time, throwing an arm around Tifa and pulling her into a quick embrace as she smiled widely along with him. Cloud's eyes still looked a little dazed, but when Tidus put a gentle hand on his shoulder, their gazes seemed to lock.

"Tidus?" Cloud asked again.

"Yeah, it's me," Tidus said softly, unable to stop a grin from settling on his lips. Cloud watched that smile so carefully, and felt himself relax.

"You're going to be fine now," Tidus smiled. "I promise."

* * *

"So, Sephiroth is really gone, huh?" Tifa asked. She was kneeling in front of Cloud, hands clenched together in her lap. She still wasn't able to rid herself of the worried look on her face. Cloud nodded.

"Yeah. Managed to finish him off after he stabbed me. He vanished into this purple smoke. I don't think he'll be back."

"Well, that's good, I guess," Tifa said, still eyeing Cloud with a clear look of concern.

"Tifa, I'm fine. I promise," he said, forcing the smallest flicker of a smile. He knew her worries wouldn't be wavering anytime soon.

The two looked up when soft footsteps were heard outside. Thanks to the morning sun, Tidus' silhouette could be clearly seen against the tent door.

"Knock, knock," Tidus said. "Is this a bad time?"

Tifa hid a smile as she glanced at Cloud—Cloud who seemed to perk up at the sound of his companion's voice. He looked almost eager to see him.

"No, come on in," Tifa called out, before turning to Cloud and lowering her voice. "He hardly left your side the whole time, you know?"

Cloud tensed a little, lowering his head in embarrassment as the memories of Tidus holding him played in his mind. Tifa just smiled, and rushed to help Tidus with the tent door when he seemed to be struggling; she realized why when she opened the door and saw him holding a cup of tea in each hand.

"I'm not interrupting, am I?" Tidus asked, as he entered the tent. His eyes went to Tifa first, then shyly to Cloud who gave him a polite—and possibly even a little timid—nod.

"No, you're not," Cloud assured him.

"Tea?" Tidus smiled, offering Tifa one of the cups in his hand. She shook her head.

"That's alright. You keep that one. I'll get one for myself. I could use some fresh air anyway," she said. She hid a coy smile as she left the two to talk on their own.

Tidus and Cloud let their gazes meet only for a second before fluttering away. Tidus' eyes darted all around the tent, but when they came to rest on Cloud again, Cloud looked a little calmer—maybe even curious, like he was waiting to see what Tidus would do next. Tidus pulled himself together, and found his voice.

"Hey there," he greeted, as if he had just entered the tent.

"Hey," Cloud replied, giving him an amused look from where he sat.

Tidus courageously proceeded to Cloud's side, and knelt down beside him. Cloud still looked a little sleepy, especially with his bedroll still pulled up to his waist, but seeing him sitting up with a rosy color back in his cheeks made Tidus feel better than he had in a while.

"Do you want this now, or...?" Tidus asked, raising one of the tea-cups.

"Sure," Cloud told him.

Tidus gave him a smile before carefully handing it over to him. He instinctively placed a hand behind Cloud's back as Cloud titled his head back for the first swig of his drink, making sure he was strong enough to do so on his own. Cloud took a few more sips of his tea, and Tidus eventually felt confident that his strength had returned. Tidus moved to his own spot and swallowed a mouthful of his hot drink before speaking.

"How're you feeling?"

"A little tired, but fine, otherwise," Cloud shrugged.

"So, Tifa was here with you all morning, huh?"

"Yeah," Cloud said, with a nod, placing his cup down beside him. He'd done that just in time. Before he could get another word in, Tidus moved in against him, his arms shooting around his neck. Cloud froze, wondering how to react as Tidus buried his face in against his ear, but Tidus soon spoke again.

"I was so worried about you," he said, weakly, closing his eyes.

Cloud relaxed a little. It had been a while since Tidus had thrown his arms around him like this so casually, like when they had faced that Kain manikin together. Cloud liked to think that the awkwardness between them had passed sometime after his battle with Sephiroth, during his lengthy recovery.

"Thanks," was all Cloud could think to say.

"Just don't make me go through it again, okay? It was scary there for a while," Tidus murmured, his face still nestled in close.

"I'll try not to," Cloud nodded, expression soft. "But... I _do_ appreciate you staying with me all that time."

"No problem."

"But, Tidus, even though we were close, I still don't— I mean, I can't—" Cloud went on, but Tidus interrupted.

"I know," Tidus hurriedly replied, not wanting Cloud to spoil the moment with those dreaded words; Cloud didn't mind not having to say them.

Cloud could feel himself settling further into the embrace. Having Tidus' arms around him was something he'd gotten pretty used to over the past seventy-two hours, and he couldn't deny it still felt pretty good. But was it really fair to let the comfort continue when all he had given Tidus was heartache in return?

Tidus was dismayed when he felt Cloud shrugging him off. He raised his brows as he let his arms fall from Cloud's neck, ending the embrace. When he looked at Cloud now, any trace of his contentment was gone. His expression had become solemn, his gaze downward-cast.

"Why are you still being so nice to me? I don't deserve your kindness," Cloud said, lowering his head, and turning Tidus' expression to one of concern.

"What do you mean?" Tidus asked, sitting back to give Cloud some space, though he feared his gaze would still make Cloud feel crowded.

"The way I've treated you..." Cloud replied, trailing off. "Doesn't seem right that you're still here after all the awful things I..." Tidus watched Cloud carefully, recognizing that look of guilt in Cloud's sad eyes.

"You're not a bad person, Cloud. You've just had a rough life," Tidus interjected, a soft half-smile on his face.

"That's no excuse for me treating you the way I did," Cloud said, sternly. Tidus paused and lowered his eyes. He knew Cloud wasn't going to meet his gaze anyway.

"No. Maybe you're right," Tidus agreed. "But it's enough to make me want to cut you some slack," he added with a smile.

"You shouldn't," Cloud said, causing Tidus to look up at him in surprise. Cloud kept his head low, but glanced up when he felt Tidus scoot in closer to him.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Tidus told him in a near whisper.

He hesitated in placing a hand on Cloud's leg, still covered by the sleeping bag, but when Cloud didn't look threatened by him, he decided to go ahead with it. Cloud didn't show any signs of objection. They stayed like that for a moment, and Cloud's head fell even lower, making Tidus think he was trying to hide his emotions.

"I just don't think it's fair to you. To be so kind, and not get anything in return," he said, slowly. Tidus tried his best to meet Cloud's eyes, but they were still nowhere near his. Instead, he took in a deep breath, and hoped he could soothe Cloud with his words instead.

"I get lots in return. I like being around you. That's enough for now," Tidus said, finally making Cloud look up.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Tidus nodded. Cloud watched him carefully. Tidus' eyes were focused on the sleeping bag below him, and he was biting his lip, as if there were more he wanted to say. Cloud debated asking him, but he opened his mouth again before he got the chance.

"Cloud, I have to tell you, um..." he hesitated. Cloud remained focused on him, silently hoping the attention might tug Tidus' gaze toward his own. Tidus continued to sit there, twisting his nervous fingers together, looking like a lost puppy.

"What is it?" Cloud tried, gently. It wasn't like Tidus to be so speechless.

"Cloud?" Tidus asked, with a deep inhale. "I love you."

Cloud's breath caught in his throat. He thought for a moment that he may have misheard. Slowly, Tidus brought his head up, looking so uncertain when he met Cloud's eyes.

"What?" Cloud asked, his voice almost failing him. Tidus exhaled heavily, hoping he would have the courage to say what he felt he needed to. His gaze fell away again as he began to speak.

"I know, it's crazy, and I get that I shouldn't keep feeling this way. I know it may never work out, but taking care of you over the past few days, and holding you, and protecting you... I don't know, I just..." Tidus trailed off, glancing up toward Cloud, figuring Cloud would be giving him some sign to stop. Instead, Cloud's expression was anything but stern. Tidus wasn't even sure he could describe it. Sad? Curious? Stunned?

"You just... what?" Cloud asked, when Tidus remained silent. Cloud's head was cocked to the side slightly, watching Tidus with a vulnerable look in his eyes. He looked a little scared, but he still genuinely looked like he wanted answers. Tidus bravely continued.

"I just feel really close to you, Cloud. And the more time I spend with you, the more real that feeling gets. I guess, the past few days made me realize how important it is to act before it's too late, so now that you're okay, I just... I want you to know that. That I love you," Tidus rambled, hands waving expressively, and his eyes falling away from Cloud's as he finished his rather long explanation.

His heart pounded hard against his chest. He was terrified of Cloud's response. He was just waiting for the fireworks, for the fighting to start all over again, but Cloud only sat there, looking dumbstruck.

Cloud couldn't even begin to fathom how Tidus could feel this way about him. All along, he had been so cold toward Tidus, even when he'd learned of Tidus' feelings for him. hose sentiments had been confusing enough for him to understand, but to think that Tidus could actually _love_ him? It seemed impossible.

How had Tidus managed to look past all the hurt, all the disagreements? How had he been able to embrace Cloud's indifference? How could Tidus _love_ him? If those words had come from anyone else, Cloud wouldn't have believed them, but Tidus was so sincere, and had been so persistent in his advances all along. Maybe it didn't matter _how_ he had come to love him; what mattered was that he _did_.

Knowing that Tidus felt that way made Cloud feel something, too. He felt warm, safe. He felt _needed_ , and that wasn't something he'd felt in a long, long time. Maybe it was nothing compared to what Tidus felt, but it was something, even if Cloud couldn't fully explain it yet.

"Are you okay?" Tidus asked after a minute, his brows furrowing in concern. Cloud still looked so shocked, his mouth open slightly, his eyes on his lap.

"I... can't return those words," Cloud said, almost instinctively, even though Tidus could hear hesitation in his voice. Tidus tried not to look hurt; he'd been expecting as much, but still couldn't help but be a little disappointed by Cloud's response. At least Cloud hadn't lost his temper.

"You don't have to," Tidus quickly reassured him, forcing a shaky smile.

"But, for you to say them... That means something," Cloud almost whispered.

Tidus' expression softened, and after a few emotional twitches of his lips, he managed a smile. He sat there timidly after that, fidgeting slightly like he didn't know what to do with himself. He met Cloud's eyes, and widened his smile a little before averting his gaze.

"Tidus? It's okay," Cloud said gently, heart pounding as he placed a hand on Tidus' shoulder. Tidus released a breath as he stared at that hand. He moved to embrace Cloud, but hesitated, waiting first for the go-ahead.

Cloud felt his lips fighting against a smile. Tidus' words had touched him, reached a part of him that had been closed off for a long time. That embrace that Tidus so desperately wanted to give him, Cloud would have once shied away from, but right now, he welcomed it. Cloud gave him a nod, and Tidus' face lit up, making Cloud feel so rewarded. Cautiously, Tidus wrapped his arms around him.

"I'm here for you, okay?" Tidus promised, knowing for certain this time that Cloud could hear him loud and clear. He felt Cloud nod against him. _Always here for you_ , he silently promised.

* * *

Cloud lay awake with a knot in his stomach. The day's earlier events with Tidus had been shocking, no doubt about it. No matter how hard he tried, Cloud couldn't get it off his mind, and to be honest, part of him _didn't want_ to stop thinking about it. Cloud quickly glanced at the sleeping face beside him—Tidus had fallen asleep after telling Cloud a long story about chocobo racing in Spira's Calm Lands—and heaved a sigh, rolling onto his other side so that he wouldn't have to face him. It was too much right now, and Cloud didn't know how he should feel. His emotions were stuck in a constant battle—happiness against fear, all because of those three words that Tidus had said.

The night Cloud had been attacked by Sephiroth, he had been so sure of himself. He hadn't wanted a relationship. He hadn't wanted to let his guard down to anyone, but Tidus' words made him feel like everything had changed. Tidus' confession had sent his thoughts into disarray, and Cloud wasn't quite sure _what_ he wanted anymore.

Many things remained the same. There was Zack, and Cloud didn't want to do anything that would take his heart any further from Zack. There was the risk of heartache. Cloud had built walls around his fragile heart to keep himself and others safe. If those walls were to come down, who knew what consequences might arise. But the truth was, Cloud was lonely. He knew it, Tidus knew it, and it was starting to become a strenuous fight to keep himself trapped in that loneliness where he felt he belonged; it was all because of Tidus.

The more Cloud thought about Tidus, the more he suspected he might be developing feelings for him in return. His kind actions, his loyal friendship, his cheerful disposition, his warm embraces—all of them made Cloud feel something deep inside his broken heart. If those feelings were to continue, it would surely become less and less reasonable to keep away from him.

Tidus made Cloud not want to be alone. Cloud had already confided in Tidus, told him things that he thought he would never be able to say aloud. Cloud knew it might be crazy, but those three words had taken him off guard, made him see everything in a new light. Crushes, Cloud could ignore, but Tidus _loved_ him; he couldn't take that lightly.

When Cloud seriously considered letting Tidus into his life, however, he felt scared. Terrified, really. He was filled with horrifying thoughts of what might happen if Tidus were to get close to him. Danger was something that always seemed to follow Cloud wherever he went, and if Tidus were to get caught in the crossfire... Cloud shut his eyes tightly. He couldn't let his mind go down that road.

There was also the fear of letting Tidus down, the fear that he wasn't the person Tidus had been hoping for. _What do I possibly have to offer that he can't find somewhere else?_ Cloud kept asking himself. Maybe Tidus was the only one with an answer to that question, but it didn't keep Cloud from trying to figure it out.

He wanted to make Tidus happy, to give him a safe, satisfying relationship—were he to pursue one, that is—but part of him worried he had lost his ability to love. If Cloud wasn't capable of giving Tidus every ounce of love he needed, then perhaps Tidus would leave him. Cloud didn't want to lose him that way either. So, the best solution seemed to be to avoid getting tangled up in a risky situation.

With a yawn, Cloud got up from his sleeping bag and pushed his heavy thoughts aside. It was too much to deal with at the moment—he didn't even know why he'd allowed himself to dive so deep into his thoughts—and his growling stomach wasn't making concentration any easier. Cloud exited the tent and proceeded outside where the smell of campfire smoke greeted him. His companions were seated around a small fire, preparing what looked to be meat and berries.

"Here, Cloud. Take a seat at the fire," Firion smiled, standing and waving a hand for Cloud to sit down beside him. Cloud gave a gracious nod and did as Firion suggested.

"Breakfast?" Tifa asked, walking towards him and offering him some food on a wooden plate.

"Thanks," Cloud answered, accepting the meal and beginning to dig in. Tidus emerged from the tent a moment later, his sleeping bag in hand.

"'Morning, all," he smiled, then proceeded toward Cloud.

"Good morning!" Vaan greeted in a sing-song voice.

"Don't get too cold, 'kay? You're still not at your strongest," Tidus said, stopping behind Cloud and draping his sleeping bag around the older blond. Cloud lowered his gaze when felt the others watching them, but managed to give Tidus a quiet 'thank you' as he took a seat beside him.

"How are you feeling, Cloud?" Cecil asked, glancing across the fire at the other man.

"Tired, but alright," Cloud answered, looking grateful for the concern.

"How 'bout you, Firion? How are your hands?" Tidus asked, leaning forward to get a look at Firion's reddened palms.

"Sore, but they'll heal," Firion said, with a smile. Cloud gave Tidus a confused glance, not understanding how Firion had gotten injured, but Tidus whispered to him that he would explain later.

"Enough smalltalk. Let's tell them," Lightning spoke up, causing everyone to look up at her, though her own gaze remained on the fire.

"What's she talking about?" Tidus asked, glancing around at his fellow warriors who remained silent. Finally, Firion stood up and walked to the centre of the group, near the fire pit, where he was most easily visible by the others.

"Chaos troops have picked up on our trail, and are sending out their leaders," Firion explained.

"Were you recently attacked?" Cloud asked, adjusting the sleeping bag around his shoulders which earned a shy smile from Tidus.

"Yes. By Golbez," Cecil answered.

"You okay, Cecil?" Tidus asked, glancing at his friend.

"I'm fine," Cecil replied, as if he were completely untouched by the incident with his brother, though Tidus doubted that was the case. Lightning stood up, obviously wanting to get straight to the point.

"Vaan, Tifa, and I were attacked a few days ago as well. Garland gave us one hell of a fight," she announced, folding her arms in front of her chest.

"Kuja turned up looking for Zidane not long ago, too," Tidus added.

"What Lightning's trying to say is that we should stick together. Fight Chaos' leaders as soon as Cloud and Firion are better," Tifa explained, gaining the attention of her companions.

"I'm ready to go anytime," Cloud spoke up. Tifa's gaze immediately flew toward Cloud.

"No, you need a few more days to rest," she replied.

"Tifa, I'm fine. The pain's completely gone," Cloud tried to assure her.

"But—" the girl started, but was cut off when Tidus opened his mouth.

"If he says he's fine, he's fine. He'll be okay to fight." Tifa tried not to look offended. Cloud glanced in Tidus' direction for a fleeting moment, just long enough to silently thank him, then his eyes met Firion's.

"If I can have a few more hours of healing, then I should be fine to head out this afternoon," Firion told the rest of the group. Lightning twirled her sword around in her hand before slipping it into her scabbard.

"Sounds like a plan," she said, turning away from the others. "With a group this big, we should have no problem taking 'em down."

"I sure hope she's right," Vaan whispered, as she walked off.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, there you have it. The words have been said! Good job, Tidus! I really tried to capture that moment where he says those words, and how shocked/emotional Cloud would be about it. I hope that moment made an impact, as I really wanted it to come sort of out of the blue--I feel like that's the way Tidus thinks and acts sometimes anyway--and for Cloud to have a strong reaction to it, since no one has really felt that way about him since Zack died. Hopefully I got that across!
> 
> I just want to thank everyone who has been continuing to read/follow this story. It's nice to see the hits keep going up, and know it's still getting some attention, even though I wait a couple of weeks between updates now. I'd love to get them up sooner, but I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so they take me a while before I'm satisfied enough to upload:)
> 
> Anyway, just wanted to remind everyone again that if you're enjoying the story, please send me a comment. I'd love to hear from you! I like hearing other peoples' take on the events/characters! Until next time!


	15. Try

**Chapter 15: Try**

"Try to pick up the pace," Lightning huffed at the warriors behind her. They exchanged irritated glances when she turned her back to them again.

This was their third day of travelling, and with the determined pink-haired woman taking up the lead the entire time, everyone was becoming more than ready for a little rest, but knew that such a luxury wouldn't come for a while. Dirt paths were rough underfoot, and the lack of trees and greenery made for a visually boring trek. They hoped, however, that this kind of lifeless environment would attract Chaos warriors, and that they would be able to start taking down the enemy's numbers.

"How're you doing, Cloud?" Firion asked, patting Cloud's shoulder with an extreme tenderness to avoid hurting his still throbbing hands. Cloud gave him a nod, silently thanking him for checking on his state.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry you're still in pain, though," Cloud replied, giving Firion the sincerest of expressions.

"A small price to help a friend," Firion smiled.

Cloud nodded again, then glanced up ahead at Vaan and Tidus who looked to be quietly making fun of Lightning behind her back; they kept glancing up ahead at the Guardian Corps Soldier, whispering a few things, then trying to hide their laughter. Cloud kept thinking Tidus would glance back at him with that glowing smile of his, and every time he didn't, Cloud found himself disappointed.

Since the night that Tidus had told Cloud he loved him, Tidus had backed off, as if he knew that his words had made an impact, and that Cloud would need the time and space to think things through. They hadn't talked much at all since that night, aside from Tidus' daily check-in to make sure Cloud was still feeling okay. But truth be told, Cloud's desire for Tidus was growing stronger by the day, and he found himself wanting Tidus with him now more than ever.

The shield around Cloud's heart was breaking down; Tidus' light was seeping through its many cracks. Ever since Tidus had said those words to him, Cloud had felt his walls growing thinner. Now, he wanted Tidus to attack those damaged walls and keep knocking until they came crumbling down. He wanted Tidus to take down the last of his defences, to finally reach the side of him that he kept so far from the surface. Only then would Cloud feel he could make his decision—to maintain a friendship with Tidus, or to let him into his life as something more.

So, for Tidus to be shying away from Cloud now, at such a pivotal point in their relationship... It seemed almost dangerous. Cloud knew he would crawl right back into his shell if left alone too long. If Tidus didn't get to him now while his guard was down, then perhaps there wouldn't be another chance for them. And although Cloud couldn't explain why, he _really_ didn't want to risk that.

"Lightning. Wait a moment," Cecil called from the back.

The rest of the group halted and turned around to see what Cecil had found. A smile rose to the faces of a few of the warriors when they caught sight of a tiny moogle standing just behind Cecil's foot. Its tiny paws were linked together in front of its body, and it wore a timid look on its tiny face.

"He looks like he's only a baby," Tifa said, unable to keep from beaming at him.

"Hey, little fella. Are you lost?" Tidus asked, bending over a little to get a better look at the creature.

"Maybe _a little_ lost, kupo," the moogle replied in a weak, high-pitched voice.

"Aw, poor guy. We came from back that way. Maybe your home is back there? Where the trees are?" Vaan asked him, kneeling down beside him, just far enough away that he wouldn't scare the little thing.

"Yes, yes, the trees! That's where I live!" the moogle cried, an excited smile taking over its face.

"Vaan's right. It's back that way," Tifa smiled, pointing out the proper direction.

"Thank you, nice people. Kupooo," the moogle said, shyly, half-turning his body away from them to hide his embarrassment.

"Hurry up," Lightning told the others. "Who knows when Chaos warriors might show up. We need to stay on our toes." This caused the little moogle's expression to dampen again.

"Chaos? Oh, yes, they're near here, kupo! You'll need supplies, kupo," the moogle cried out. The warriors exchanged glances.

"Might not be a bad idea," Vaan shrugged.

"I agree. Could you show us your wares?" Firion asked.

The creature smiled in response, and summoned his scepter. As he waved it, a piece of parchment appeared, hovering before him in midair, containing a list of his supplies. Lightning, Tifa, and Firion moved in a little closer to get a better look, unintentionally pushing Tidus and Cloud out of the circle. Tidus groaned as he stared at his friends' backs.

"That's fine. We'll just look after you're done!" he called out, sarcastically, as his friends crowded around the moogle.

Tidus walked a few steps away from the group and Cloud hesitated only a moment before following after him. Tidus heard his footsteps, but promised himself he wouldn't turn around until he was sure Cloud wanted him to. To his surprise, Cloud immediately spoke up.

"Why haven't you been talking to me?" Cloud asked, the urgency in his voice startling Tidus.

Now, Tidus willingly turned to face his companion; Cloud actually looked worried. Panicked, even. Tidus frowned a little, then rubbed the back of his head, suddenly fearing that he was in trouble. Perhaps his little 'leave-Cloud-alone' plan had been a mistake.

"Well, I thought you might need a little time. You know, to think, and stuff," he explained, nervously. Cloud swallowed; he had been right.

"I just... wondered," Cloud replied, trying his very hardest to make his voice sound normal again—calm.

"I missed you, too," Tidus said, with a smirk. When Cloud only reacted with the aversion of his gaze, Tidus figured he'd better stop teasing him.

"How's your shoulder?" Cloud asked.

"Oh, it's okay. You know, still sore, but it's healing," Tidus smiled, softly, thankful for Cloud's concern. Cloud's eyes wandered back up to where the injury was hidden beneath Tidus' shirt.

"I'm glad it's improving," Cloud replied.

"Thanks. And what about you? You still doing okay?"

"Yes. Cosmos certainly possesses some powerful magics. Really, I feel perfectly fine."

"Good to hear," Tidus grinned.

When silence took over, awkwardness set in. Cloud's gaze returned to the ground while Tidus' darted all around. Tidus wanted so badly to ask what Cloud was feeling, but he refrained. To his relief, Cloud spoke up anyway.

"Tidus, just so you know, you don't have to stay away anymore. I've had my time to think about what you said."

Tidus swallowed hard, pushing his hopeful feelings back down into his stomach before they reached his all-too-excited brain.

"Oh yeah?" was all he asked. He bit his lip after that, and kept himself from prying any further than that, even though his heart was screaming at him to get some answers—like, what Cloud had thought about, and whether anything had changed between them.

"Guys!" Vaan shouted, forcing Tidus to turn his head away from Cloud. "Wanna come take a look?" Vaan gave them a wave, coaxing them to join up with the others.

"Can we talk later?" Tidus asked, turning back to Cloud with a timid look on his face. Cloud gave him a gentle nod.

"Of course, we can," he promised, feeling a little thankful himself. The time apart was causing far too much tension. With a half-smile, Tidus turned to join the group, and Cloud followed close behind him, wanting to keep that little bit of Tidus' comfort as near to him as he could.

* * *

Lightning refused to let the troops rest until nightfall, which, to their dismay, meant having to assemble their tents in the dark. With the light of their materia and magic, they were able to set up fairly quickly. Lightning, Vaan, and Tifa opted for sharing a tent, and when Firion asked Tidus if he wanted to bunk together for the night, Tidus didn't know how to object without seeming rude. So, he watched in dismay as Cloud—though he seemed to give Tidus a reluctant look as he did so—followed Cecil into the last tent.

Now, Tidus lay on his back, half-expecting Firion's soft snoring to lull him into his own quiet slumber, but he was so concerned about Cloud that he couldn't relax. Cloud had honestly seemed a little distraught by the fact that Tidus had been avoiding conversation with him, and Tidus couldn't get it off his mind. _What if he wanted_ _me near him? What if he needed_ _me over the past few days and I wasn't_ _there for him?_ Tidus kept asking himself. Those questions only made the knot in his stomach grow tighter.

Tidus rolled over and reached a hand into the bag lying beside him. He withdrew the blitzball he'd gotten from the moogle earlier, a friendly reminder of home. With a sigh, Tidus turned onto his back again and began tossing the ball up into the air and catching it, but even the distraction couldn't stop his thoughts from wandering.

Although there was still a clear distance between Cloud and himself, Tidus felt like Cloud trusted him now, at least enough to be honest with him. He wanted to talk to Cloud. He wanted to know everything that was going through Cloud's mind—his doubts, his fears—but talking privately had become harder since their group had become so big. Tidus glanced to the side to stare at the peacefully sleeping Firion. Surely the others were asleep by now as well. Perhaps this was a good a time as any.

Tidus gave another sigh, officially deciding to give up on sleep. There was no way it was going to come to him anyway. Being careful not to wake Firion, Tidus slipped out of his sleeping bag and grabbed his blitzball, sword, and knapsack before heading for the door of the tent.

He walked a few feet outside before he came to Cecil and Cloud's tent. He unzipped the door and poked his head inside. He could see Cloud's glowing blue eyes from where he stood, even through the darkness of the tent. Cloud sat up quickly.

"Tidus, is something wrong?" he whispered.

"Can you come here?" Tidus asked.

He glanced at Cecil to make sure he was still snoozing before giving Cloud a wave to follow him. Cloud felt his heart give a jolt as he debated whether or not he should take this opportunity to talk to Tidus alone, but when Tidus gave him a smile and another wave, he couldn't say no. He grabbed his sword before following Tidus outside.

"What's going on?" he whispered, zipping the tent closed behind him before turning to his companion. Tidus shook his head.

"Nothing, really. I just thought it might be a good time to talk." Cloud gave a nod, then his eyes widened a little when he felt Tidus take hold of his arm.

"Come on," he smiled. "Let's get out of here." Cloud tried to remember how to breathe as Tidus' slipped his arm through Cloud's, linking them at the elbows. Then, Cloud followed like an obedient puppy as Tidus pulled him along.

* * *

"Aha! I knew I'd caught sight of this place earlier," Tidus said, setting his gear down with a satisfied sigh. He rested his hands on his hips as he glanced around. Cloud took this opportunity to breathe deeply and try to get his heart back down to a normal rate, now that Tidus had finally let go of his arm.

They were at least a twenty minute's walk from the campsite, and Cloud was a little surprised that Tidus had been paying attention enough during their travels to spot this place at all. Normally when they were travelling, he was either gabbing away with one of his fellow warriors, or dragging his feet along looking bored.

Regardless of how he had noticed it, the place did have a certain amount of beauty. They were standing on a small hill that led down to a glistening lake. The moon shone upon it, lighting the way into its deep blue water. Despite the fact that there was still hardly any greenery to be seen, it was still a rather inviting location.

"Why did you want to come all the way back here?" Cloud asked, once he'd regained his ability to speak.

"'Cause I love to swim, and this was the only speck of water we'd seen in miles," Tidus said, as he picked up his blitzball from the ground.

"What about your shoulder? You probably shouldn't get it too wet," Cloud spoke up, brows crinkling in concern.

"Oh, right," Tidus nodded, expression saddening.

"Here, let me see," Cloud offered, coaxing Tidus toward him.

Tidus took a few steps away from the water until he reached Cloud. Cloud's eyes flickered up to meet Tidus', silently seeking his permission. Tidus gave him a gentle nod, and Cloud reached for the fabric covering Tidus' shoulder, pulling it down a little to get a look at the wound.

"Looks like it's healing well," Cloud observed, taking in the sight of the stitches, still holding together the skin that had fortunately returned to a normal color. "You can swim for a few minutes. Just not too long, okay?"

"Okay," Tidus said, smiling softly. He tried not to focus on the small distance between his and Cloud's faces. "I'll make sure to take care of it when we go back to camp."

"Alright," Cloud agreed. He looked up to meet Tidus' eyes again, and immediately took a step back. Apparently, he'd just noticed that small distance, too.

Tidus flashed a grin at Cloud, then started down the bank, stepping carefully so he wouldn't slip. Cloud watched as Tidus reached the bottom of the slope. Cautiously, Tidus waded into the small, round lake that lay before them, and Cloud scolded himself for noticing how gracefully he moved—how his shoulder blades moved as his hands pushed through the water, how his every stride was strong and effortless, as if he were walking on land.

"It's nice," Tidus called, turning back for a second to meet Cloud's eyes.

"Good," Cloud replied, gently. He hesitated for a minute, not quite sure what to do with himself, but he soon decided to look around for a good place to watch. The bank leading down to the lake consisted mostly of dirt, but Cloud found a place to sit on one of the terrain's small patches of grass.

As he watched Tidus swim, he felt himself relaxing little by little. He liked situations like these, where he could be in Tidus' company, but not feel pressured to say anything. Cloud adjusted himself on the bank, kicking one leg out in front of him while the other stayed tucked up near his chest, his hands on the ground behind him for support.

"You're quite the swimmer," Cloud marvelled. Tidus touched the bottom of the lake, and turned enough to see Cloud giving him a small smile, which he figured he'd managed for his sake. Tidus gave him a wide smile back.

"Yep, thanks to years of practice. I used to be a star blitzball player back home, you know?" Tidus said, raising his eyebrows to emphasize his point.

"I know," Cloud said, forcing another smile. Tidus grabbed the blitzball that was floating in the water beside him.

"How did you know?" he asked, cocking his head to the side, curiously. It was actually a little cute, not that Cloud would ever admit it, even to himself.

"You told me when we first met. And several times since then," Cloud replied, looking a little amused.

"Oh," Tidus chuckled when he couldn't recall the memories at all. He gave a sigh, and flopped onto his back, easily staying afloat on the water.

Cloud continued to sit for what must have been ten minutes or more, watching the moon glistening on the water. It was so peaceful, Cloud didn't want to leave. He drew his eyes to the man in the water, floating on his back as if it were second nature to him. Tidus looked so relaxed—even sort of beautiful—in that moment. The whole scene, Cloud thought, was picturesque. The water so still, the moon so bright, Tidus so reposed.

Cloud blinked as Tidus rolled over and dove under the water. He stayed under for several seconds, then popped his head up, the blitzball popping up a second later a few feet away from him. The more Cloud watched, the more he observed Tidus' brilliant skill as a swimmer. He was amazed at how long Tidus could stay under water and not come up gasping for air. When they had first met, Cloud had worried about him drowning, but had eventually come to realize that Tidus was very capable when it came to water.

"Aren't you cold?" Cloud asked, eyeing the lake.

"Nah. It's actually really warm," Tidus answered, swimming towards the bank where Cloud was sitting.

"Why don't you come in?" the younger man asked.

"I can't swim that well," Cloud admitted, lowering his head a little, looking ashamed.

"I won't let anything happen to you. Come on. It's really nice," Tidus promised, offering a hand to the man on the bank. Cloud looked into those calm blue eyes, and reminded himself that getting closer to Tidus was something he wanted—at least, he was pretty sure it was.

Cloud gave a small nod and an ever-so-slight smile as he stood up and took Tidus' hand. He took a few steps down the bank, feeling water quickly seep into his boots, but he didn't care. They would dry, as would the rest of his clothing. He made his way fully into the water with Tidus' help, and was thankful that he could stand where they were now, still next to the bank.

"See? Warm, isn't it?" Tidus asked, letting go of Cloud's hand and swishing his own around to make patterns in the water.

"Yeah, it is," Cloud answered, dipping his own hands into the water..

"Watch this!" Tidus grinned, collecting the blitzball into his hands once more.

He gave Cloud a nod, encouraging him to watch, then he tossed the ball high into the air, and launched himself up into the air immediately after it. Cloud couldn't believe his eyes when Tidus spun in the air and managed to kick the blitzball hard enough to send it flying back onto shore. Tidus plummeted back into the water feet-first with a splash. Cloud turned his head to avoid getting sprayed in the face, but when he turned back toward Tidus, they were both bearing a grin.

"That was incredible," Cloud awed.

"It's one of my old man's moves. Calls it 'The Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III'," Tidus explained. Cloud could sense the irritation in his voice.

"You really don't like him, do you?" Cloud asked.

"Nah, the guy's a jerk. Thinks he's better than everyone," Tidus replied, flopping onto his back once more and continuing to float.

"Some people are just like that, I guess," Cloud sympathized, skimming his hand through the water again, and watching ripples form. "But I'm glad you didn't inherit his attitude," he added. Tidus' lips parted slightly in surprise, and he smiled, even though Cloud didn't look up to see it.

"Nope, just his skills," he laughed.

"Mm-hmm," Cloud agreed.

"So, um, Cloud? Before when you said you thought about stuff..." Tidus started. He examined Cloud carefully, watching for any signs of tension, but the man's expression hardly changed. Tidus wished he could catch Cloud's eye, but Cloud was focused on his hands as they continued to brush through the water.

"What exactly did you think about?" Tidus felt himself asking. He couldn't hold back the question any longer. Cloud was silent for what seemed like a long while, eyes never leaving the lake.

"The past. The future. A lot of things, I guess," Cloud replied, calmly. "I'm sorry, Tidus, but this whole thing is just sort of... confusing for me." Tidus' expression softened a little and he waded through the water to stand at Cloud's side. Not wanting to make Cloud feel crowded, he turned his gaze toward the starry night sky.

"It's okay. It's a little confusing for me, too," Tidus smiled, softly; that was enough to drive Cloud's gaze toward him.

"It is?" Cloud asked, timidly, head still lowered a little. Honestly, he was surprised Tidus felt that way. He always seemed so calm and confident about the whole thing.

"Yeah, I mean, you're the first guy I ever had feelings for, and I'm never quite sure when I should make a move, or back off," Tidus explained. Cloud released a hum in response, still in slight disbelief.

"Guess it's not so easy when _I'm_ not sure what I want you to do either," Cloud said, quietly. His gaze fell back down to the water, but Tidus refused to let that damned awkward silence take over.

"Cloud, what I told you the other night... I didn't say it because I thought it would change your mind. You know that, right?" Tidus asked. Cloud looked up again, but he didn't say anything. His curious eyes simply coaxed Tidus to continue.

"I just thought you should know how I feel. I wanted you to know that you're still important to me, despite the rough patches," Tidus went on. He released a sigh, his mouth opening and closing as he debated saying more. Eventually, the words escaped.

"Cloud, I still feel close to you."

Cloud was glad that Tidus' eyes were on the sky; otherwise, he probably would have seen Cloud's embarrassed expression and his flushing cheeks. Cloud swallowed, and dared a quick glance up at Tidus' small, sincere smile. _I feel close to you, too_ , was what Cloud wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut. He wasn't ready to admit those feelings aloud; he wasn't sure his damaged heart would allow him to admit them at all.

"So, you're not _expecting_ anything to change between us?" Cloud queried.

"No," Tidus replied, slowly and honestly, tearing his gaze from the sky and meeting Cloud's eyes.

"But you wouldn't be disappointed if something _did_ develop?"

"Well, no." Tidus rubbed his arm uncomfortably. "But... I didn't know if that was even a possibility." Cloud remained silent for a moment, and turned his own gaze toward the sky now.

"I don't know either," he sighed. Tidus could feel the pleasant atmosphere slipping away, and he felt himself grasping at whatever he could to get it back.

"Well, I guess, in time, we'll figure it out," he said, forcing a grin and pushing his legs off the ground to float on his back again.

Cloud turned to watch him, his arms outstretched, his body appearing so relaxed, even after such a personal conversation. Cloud let out a shaky breath, and released the tension that had seeped into his body sometime while they'd been talking. He needed to relax. He _wanted_ to relax. After all, opportunities to be alone with Tidus could become more scarce as they continued to travel with their companions, and Tidus had a way of making Cloud feel... happier.

"You really are a good swimmer," Cloud spoke up, dragging himself out of his thoughts, and admiring the way Tidus floated so effortlessly.

"Hey, do you want to try?" Tidus asked, bringing his head up high enough to see his companion. Cloud's eyes widened and he shook his head.

"No, I don't think so."

"It's not that hard. You've just gotta practice," Tidus encouraged, rolling over and swimming back towards his friend.

"I... don't want to drown," Cloud said, timidly, his gaze far from Tidus'.

"You won't drown. I'm right here," Tidus chuckled. He gave Cloud a thumbs-up before diving under the water again. When he reappeared, he shook his head to rid his hair of the excess water, then swam toward Cloud again, and stood beside him.

"Swim with me?" he asked.

"I can't," Cloud said, shaking his head apologetically.

"I'll help. I promise, nothing will happen to you."

With a pounding heart, Cloud reluctantly allowed Tidus to lead him further away from the bank and tried not to panic as water rose above his waist, up his chest.

"I can't," he repeated.

"I've got you," Tidus smiled.

Tidus let go of Cloud's hands and instead wrapped an arm around his waist—unfortunately, feeling Cloud's body tense as he did—while moving his other arm around to keep himself afloat. Cloud reluctantly lifted his feet up off the ground, and was relieved to find that he was floating along with Tidus.

"See? You're fine," Tidus assured him. Cloud gave him a tiny smile before his fear took over again. He kicked his feet around until they touched bottom, throwing Tidus off balance. Tidus waved his arm in attempt to stay afloat, but ended up making a giant splash. Finally, he recovered, and planted his feet firmly on the sand below.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I just panicked. Sorry," Cloud replied.

"It's okay," Tidus said, half-smiling. "Oh, looks like I got you a little wet."

He grinned as he raised a hand to brush a few droplets out of Cloud's hair. Their eyes met as Tidus made the contact. Their gaze was steady for a moment, and Cloud realized from his tender expression how much that touch meant to Tidus; he could see it in his eyes.

Cloud quickly averted his gaze, and Tidus concluded that even that small amount of contact had been too much. He let his arm drop to his side, feeling defeated, though he tried not to let it show.

"I'm cold," Cloud whispered, eyes fixated on the water.

"What? But the water's so warm—"

"Can you help me in? Please?" Cloud asked. Tidus sighed. Perhaps he was going too fast again. He figured his best move now was to just do what Cloud wanted.

"Yeah, sure," he answered, quietly, as he helped Cloud clamber back onto the bank.

"I'm gonna head back," Cloud said. "See you in the morning?"

"Yeah," Tidus answered, as he watched Cloud gather his sword and head off. He sighed, and lay backwards once again, watching the moon as he floated. His mind was full of disbelief; such a small action had sent Cloud into a fit of uncertainty. Figuring Cloud out was no easy task. That was for damn sure.

* * *

Rain started to pour down in heavy droplets as Cloud made his way back to camp. He felt like his thoughts were set on fast-forward. They whirled around so rapidly in his head that he could hardly make sense of them. With a few deep breaths, he was able to start breaking them down, and he asked himself why he had shied away from Tidus' touch.

He'd _wanted_ Tidus to make more advances, ones that took him off guard and overwhelmed him—in a good way—like the night he'd told him he loved him. He thought he'd wanted Tidus to finally break him down enough so that he would have no choice but to let him in. So, why was it that when Tidus had reached out to him, Cloud had immediately pulled away? Was Cloud not ready for him to be more than a friend? Even if he wasn't, that time of innocent friendship had surely passed. Tidus felt too strongly for him now, and quite honestly, Cloud's own feelings were...

Cloud shook his head. He felt like he was caught in the middle of a tug-of-war. Part of him wanted so badly to cling to the past, to his memories, and what he felt were his obligations to Zack; part of him wanted to forget all about those things, and give into those growing feelings for Tidus, explore this new road. The two just had a hard time meeting in the middle, and that was exactly where Cloud wanted to be. Was there a way to achieve it? Cloud wasn't sure, and he wasn't sure if he'd ever find out. It was just too hard to find the middle-ground without feeling guilty about _something_.

"Hey, Cloud! Wait up! Can we talk?" Tidus called from behind him.

Apparently, he had given up on his mid-night swim once the rain had started. Cloud reluctantly halted and turned to watch Tidus racing to catch up with him. Tidus gave him a smile when he reached him—his standard, casual smile that made Cloud feel like he hadn't done anything to upset him, though he doubted that was true.

"You walk fast," Tidus laughed, trying to catch his breath as he did so. "You know, you—"

"Tidus, let me apologize," Cloud said, raising a hand to stop the man's chatter. Tidus instantly shut up, and hung his head low.

"Cloud, don't. It's my fault. I'm pushing too hard," Tidus replied, solemnly.

"No," Cloud said, quickly. "No, you're not."

Neither chose to speak, and with both heads facing the ground, eye contact was out of the question as well. After a minute or two, Cloud brought his gaze up to rest on Tidus.

"We should really head back. I don't want to risk running into any Chaos warriors when we're on our own," Cloud announced, adjusting his sword before continuing on his way back to camp. He didn't hear Tidus' footsteps behind him, but didn't have much time to question it when Tidus spoke up.

"Tifa said it's been six months since you got your memory back," Tidus announced, causing Cloud to stop in his tracks again. Cloud's heart pounded. He stood frozen.

"She said you had some sort of sickness that caused you to forget... about _him_."

Cloud remained silent for what seemed like forever. He didn't have the courage to turn around and face Tidus; he was too shocked, too hurt. Obviously, Cloud didn't have to explain the memories that held him back. The answers were clear, but for Tidus to hear them from Tifa... It felt wrong on so many levels.

"I can't believe she told you," Cloud whispered, his mouth dry.

"She only wants what's best for you," Tidus explained. He paused a few seconds before continuing. "And so do I."

Cloud felt himself unable to speak. He merely listened as Tidus took a few more steps toward him, his boots crunching against the rocky ground. He heard Tidus take a deep breath, but it was shaky; he sounded nervous.

"Listen, Cloud, I think you need to be with someone, and maybe that someone isn't me, but I don't think you should be alone anymore."

Finally, Cloud turned to face the man behind him, though he still wasn't sure he'd regained the strength to speak. Tidus stared deeply into his eyes, his brows creased into a look that begged Cloud for a response.

"If it's not you, then it won't be anyone," Cloud eventually answered.

"Huh?" Tidus asked. His brows were upward-turned, his emotional expression mixed with curiosity.

"If you can't get me to open up, then I don't think anyone— I mean, I don't _want_ anyone but you to..." Cloud trailed off before he further embarrassed himself, but as he reflected on those words, he knew they were true.

If Cloud was going to have someone by his side, it had to be someone who wouldn't turn tail after learning of his past, of his demons and weaknesses. He needed someone who knew and understood his fears and flaws, and was still willing to stick by his side. So far, Tidus' efforts to do so had been admirable. Maybe Tidus _was_ strong enough to endure with him the pain that Cloud struggled to manage on his own.

Tidus found himself speechless, which was a rarity for him. He felt like he owed it to Cloud to free him from his own imprisonment, to help him escape those memories that always held him back. And for the first time, he felt like Cloud _wanted_ to be saved. Tidus swallowed, and took a step forward, his mind quickly finding the words he wanted to say.

"He asked you to live for him. Didn't he? And you feel like being with me would... betray him somehow?" It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement.

Cloud still couldn't believe his ears, but his aching heart still pounded with gratitude. Tidus understood him better than he'd ever expected, and he couldn't begin to express how much it relieved him, how much he appreciated it.

"Yes," Cloud managed. Tidus took another step closer. There were only a couple of feet between them now.

"But, do you think Zack would have wanted you to live like this? Alone?" Tidus asked, carefully, hoping he'd asked the question with enough grace to avoid an argument. Cloud frowned, looking a little startled that Tidus had called his deceased lover by name, especially considering the way he had reacted last time.

"I... I don't know," Cloud mumbled, his lips turning downwards as if he might break down. Tidus doubted Cloud would let that happen again, though.

"Cloud," Tidus murmured, approaching him until they were finally at a more appropriate talking distance.

"If Zack loved you as much as you loved him, and I'm sure he did, then he would never have wanted this for you. For you to feel so alone."

Cloud brought his eyes up to meet Tidus', and found that those blue eyes were full of sympathy _and truth_. Cloud knew Tidus wasn't making this up to make him feel better. Tidus honestly believed what he was saying, and frankly, Cloud did as well.

"Sometimes..." Cloud started, but he felt himself start to choke up. Thankfully, this went unnoticed by Tidus.

"Sometimes I try to put myself in his position, and you're right. He would never have wanted this for me. _I_ wouldn't want _him_ to live the way I do, either. But then I start thinking about the afterlife."

"The afterlife?" Tidus repeated, raising his brows.

"Yeah, and I think about how he's waiting for me. When this long, dark tunnel is over, he'll be at the end of it." Cloud swallowed hard, and averted his eyes. Saying those words aloud felt so strange. Cloud felt like he should feel worse than he did as he spoke them, like those words belonged trapped inside him, living as a painful secret. Instead, he felt nothing as he released them. No guilt, no regret, but definitely no happiness either.

Tidus fell silent, the gears in his mind rapidly turning. If the afterlife was what Cloud thought about, then was it possible to get close to him? Maybe Cloud didn't care whether or not he was alone in this life as long as he spent the eternity after it with Zack. But that didn't seem right, not with the way Cloud acted around him sometimes.

"When I think about that," Cloud continued, though he wasn't quite sure why. "I start to wonder whether I _would_ want Zack to fall in love with someone else. I know it sounds selfish, but I would want to be his light at the end of the tunnel, and know that I was the only one for him. I feel like... if I'm unfaithful to him, he won't be there. He won't be waiting for me."

"You... never promised not to fall in love again, did you? He didn't ask that of you, did he?" Tidus asked, sounding nervous.

"No, he didn't. I just, even now— Tidus, I can't stand the possibility of hurting him," Cloud said, closing his eyes for a second or two. When he opened them again, Tidus looked like he didn't understand at all what he was feeling.

Cloud started to think maybe he was crazy. Did everyone act this way after the loss of a loved one? When Tidus still didn't speak, Cloud felt he had to break the silence again, though the conversation was becoming uncomfortable.

"It's okay. I've gotten used to being alone," Cloud admitted.

"You don't have to be," Tidus quickly reminded him. "You've got lots of friends. You've got _me_ ," he said, quietly. The way he'd emphasized his last word _had not_ gone unnoticed by Cloud.

"I just feel so guilty sometimes. Because Zack..." Cloud paused and closed his eyes, as if saying his partner's name aloud was causing him pain. "Zack died for me, and every day I ask myself why." Cloud's voice was so weak; it made Tidus ache for him.

"Cloud, he loved you. He wouldn't have died for you if he didn't think you were worth saving," Tidus said, and he knew by the way Cloud's eyes had widened a little that his words had made an impact. Tidus took a breath before continuing on.

"Look, it's okay to grieve for Zack. It's normal, but it shouldn't hold you back. And from the way you talk and act sometimes, I _know_ you don't want to cut yourself off from everyone."

Cloud hesitated a moment. Tidus was right on so many levels. How was it that he could hardly know him, yet know everything at the same time? Cloud let out a shaky sigh.

"I just don't know how to get over this," he whispered, his eyes finding their way to the ground.

"Just one day at a time," Tidus replied with a smile, a smile that Cloud could hear in his voice without having to see it. Cloud felt a little better when he felt Tidus' hand fall upon his shoulder. "As far as the afterlife goes, it's too hard to plan for that when we're not even sure what it is, or what it's like."

Tidus' hand rose from Cloud's shoulder and brushed some raindrops out of Cloud's spiky blond hair without thinking. When he realized what he'd done, he withdrew his hand, and let it fall back down to his side. He sighed softly, thankful Cloud hadn't reacted like he had back at the lake. Cloud just calmly met his gaze, looking almost curious, and Tidus felt a feeling of contentment creep up inside him; Cloud really hadn't minded the contact.

"I'm surprised your head hasn't exploded from thinking about such deep stuff all the time," Tidus teased, successfully distracting them both. Cloud felt a chuckle break free, and he hid a smile as he stared down at the ground in embarrassment.

"Guess you think I'm crazy."

"Na-uh," Tidus shook his head. "I think I get why you feel that way. At least, I'm trying," he said, honestly. Cloud felt his expression grow softer.

"You're very kind, Tidus," Cloud replied. Tidus met him with a glowing smile.

"Look, I really don't think Zack would hold it against you if you fell in love with someone else. Everyone needs a little comfort, you know?" Cloud nodded in response, hoping that somehow his mind might find the truth in those words; he was starting to think his heart already had.

"I hope you do get to spend the afterlife with Zack. You two deserve that. But, remember, if you need someone by your side before then..." Tidus trailed off. He felt his nerves creep up on him, and he simply flashed a shy smile before brushing past Cloud, heading back down the road to camp.

"Race ya!" he yelled. His heart pounded with anticipation, but he promised himself he wouldn't get his hopes up. He stopped in his tracks when he heard Cloud's voice.

"I'll think about it," Cloud spoke up.

Tidus turned around slowly, and met his eyes. He wore a look of shock at first, but it didn't take long before a soft, gracious smile rose to his lips.

"I'll really think about it," Cloud said again, feeling even more sure of himself this time. Tidus' smile grew wider, and he let out a small chuckle.

"Shall we?" Tidus asked, pointing a thumb in the direction of the campsite. Cloud nodded in agreement, and walked a few paces to catch up.

They trudged through the wet terrain, and when Tidus' rain-soaked hand accidentally brushed up against Cloud's, Cloud nervously accepted it into his own. His heart was quickly overwhelmed with a sense of comfort, and he inwardly congratulated himself on his courage. Tidus gave him a bewildered smile, which Cloud returned with a soft one. That look of pride on Tidus' face... it made Cloud's spontaneity completely worth it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's about time they got together, huh? Well, there you have it! Cloud is finally trying to open himself up to the blitz ace we know and love so much. There's quite a lot of sappy moments in this chapter, but it also contains some of my favorite lines in the whole story. Like, "If it's not you, then it won't be anyone." Yup. Love it. Anyway, hope you enjoyed Chapter 15!


	16. Lulled

**Chapter 16:** **Lulled**

The early-risers of the party were gathered outside the tents the next morning, quietly chomping away at some small breakfast rations and making light conversation, to which Cloud contributed very little. Vaan and Tidus were the only two not present, and Cloud couldn't keep his attention from wandering to the tent where Tidus still slept. His insides were full of excitement from the night before. Of course, that feeling also contained shreds of fear and uncertainty, but mostly, Cloud felt content. _Good_ , in fact.

Speaking with Tidus the night before had allowed him to get a lot of things off his chest, things he never thought he'd have the confidence to say. Thankfully, Tidus had just tried his best to understand Cloud's fears, despite the fact that they could have been completely irrational. Cloud was becoming more aware of how lucky he was to find someone like Tidus, and that encountering someone so non-judgemental and genuinely caring was a rarity. Tidus was a gem, and his kindness stood out above that of so many others. Cloud couldn't overlook that anymore. Being near Tidus... It made Cloud believe that one day he could be happy. Truly happy. With life, and possibly with Tidus.

During the walk back to camp the night before, Cloud had promised Tidus that he would think about letting him in, and think he had, but it didn't take him long to realize that his over-thinking things had been his downfall from the beginning. It was what stopped him from taking chances. It was easier, and he even felt better, when he didn't think at all, like when he'd taken Tidus' hand as they walked through the rain. It was those spur-of-the-moment choices that he felt he needed to take more often.

For now, Cloud would give his mind a break. He would ignore its foreboding voice for a while and let his heart lead the way, just as he believed Tidus always did. He wanted to at least try. His dark and troubled thoughts would still be waiting for him if his trip toward the light didn't work out.

“Your hands look to be improving, Firion,” Lightning observed, catching Cloud's attention. Firion gave the girl a gentle smile before glancing down at his palms. The reddened blisters were nearly gone.

“Yes, they're much better,” he said.

“That's good. We'll probably be fighting again soon. It's best to have your strength back,” Lightning replied. Cloud nodded in agreement, still feeling a little guilty that he'd been the cause of Firion's lost strength, but his troubles were forgotten when Tidus strolled sleepily out of the tent. Cloud felt the corners of his lips twitch upward, and his heart beat just a little faster at the sight of him.

“Tidus,” he whispered to himself, merely because it felt good to speak his name.

“'Morning, guys. And girls,” Tidus greeted, blinking through heavy lids, but managing a grin and a wave despite his fatigue. The others bade him a good morning in return as he plopped himself down on the ground beside Cloud.

The two immediately turned their heads toward one another, exchanging soft smiles as memories of the night before danced in their minds.

“Hey,” Tidus murmured, as the others broke into another conversation.

“Good morning,” Cloud answered, softly. “Did you sleep well?” He eyed Tidus' bed-mussed hair. It looked a little ruffled on top, slightly frizzy from tossing around while he dreamed. Cloud gulped. Sandy blond strands lay every which way, but despite it, Tidus still managed to look a mix of cute and... maybe, possibly, sort of, a little bit gorgeous.

“Yup, did you?” Tidus asked, eyes gleaming.

“Yeah,” Cloud nodded. He debated telling Tidus that he should tidy that dishevelled hair of his, but decided against it; regrettably, he was enjoying the view too much.

“Better sleep than usual?” Tidus asked, with a wink. Cloud was glad to know that last night had made an impression on him, too.

“Yeah,” came Cloud's sincere reply. Tidus watched his face so carefully. He loved that hint of a smile that was playing on Cloud's lips. He adored that slightly timid look he wore, and the way he was practically flirting with his eyes. It was this kind of expression he'd been dying to see for so long, and truth be told, it was better than he'd ever imagined.

“Breakfast?” Cloud asked, offering a palm full of a variety of dried berries.

“Thanks,” Tidus grinned. He chose carefully, picking out a couple of the raspberries he knew Cloud didn't like, and eating them himself. Cloud smiled, grateful for his continuing kindness.

“There's bread over here, too, Tidus,” Cecil spoke up, raising up a morsel of a loaf.

“No thanks. I'm good here,” the boy smiled, popping a few more red berries into his mouth.

“I suppose we should awaken the other sleepy-head,” Firion spoke up, chuckling. Lightning sighed.

“Yeah. Sun's almost up, and by the time we pack up, it won't be early morning at all,” she said, heading for her tent. Cloud and Tidus looked up to watch her go, but were drawn to Tifa instead. It was hard not to notice the small grin she was wearing; she looked like she'd been watching them.

She quickly averted her eyes when she realized she'd been caught, and Cloud did the same out of embarrassment. The fact that she seemed to be enjoying watching him and Tidus together... It made him feel downright awkward, like he was on display. Tidus, on the other hand, just smiled in amusement, grateful that Tifa was on his side. He liked knowinghe wasn't the only one who loved seeing Cloud in good spirits.

“I suppose we should prepare for departure,” Cecil announced, standing up and brushing himself off.

“Guess so,” Tifa nodded, casting one last smile at the boys across the way. The group stood up, and headed for their tents. Tidus trotted alongside Firion, glancing back to make sure Cloud was out of earshot before he spoke.

“Firion?”

“Yes, friend?” Firion asked, smiling as he and Tidus began to take down their tent. Tidus' hands became shaky as he tried to figure out how to speak without saying too much.

“I've got a little project in mind, only I think I need some help. Sometime soon, could you give me a hand?”

“Certainly,” Firion agreed.

“Oh, and uh, don't tell the others?” Tidus asked. Firion stared at him curiously. Tidus' brows were creased with concern, his body tense, but out of courtesy, Firion didn't ask why.

“Alright,” Firion promised, momentarily raising a suspicious brow beforehis attention returned to the tent. Tidus glanced back at Cloud, who was eagerly assisting Cecil in gathering up their belongings. Their eyes met only for a second, but Tidus could see that tender, contented look on Cloud's face. Tidus returned the expression, revelling in the fact that they were making progress together, and happily got back to work.

* * *

By mid-morning, the Cosmos warriors had packed up and were ready to hit the road again, but were especially tired from being under Lightning's strict command. As they walked alongside each other, Cloud and Tidus exchanged quick, contented glances. Even Cloud managed to throw a few small smiles Tidus' way, which made Tidus have to fight back grins that were big enough to make his friends suspicious.

The afternoon passed rather uneventfully as they continued their trek. Still, there was hardly any vegetation to be seen, and the warriors started to wonder if they were in the right place. They hadn't encountered anything for miles.

“How much longer?” Vaan whined from the back of the line, just behind Tidus and Cloud.

“We won't know until we're there,” Lightning replied, monotonously. Vaan heaved a sigh and continued to walk with his hands behind his head.

“Um, Light, do you want someone else to take the lead for a while?” Tifa spoke up, feeling the tension of the surrounding warriors rise as she asked the question. Lightning looked almost insulted for a minute, then she shrugged it off, realizing maybe these people weren't as cut out for the army as she was. It didn't make her any less irritated, though.

“Be my guest,” she uttered, as she walked to the very back of the line, leaving the role of leader empty.

“Oh, I didn't mean _me_ ,” Tifa said, her eyebrows creased into some sort of embarrassed smile.

“I'll lead!” Vaan jumped in, raising a hand high in the air. Tidus laughed.

“Come on, little man. Even _I'm_ hardly ever allowed to lead. I doubt they're gonna let _you_ do it,” Tidus said, turning around to face Vaan, and throwing a friendly arm around his neck. Vaan pushed him away with a scowl.

“I saved the world once, you know. And I was the _leader_!” Vaan shouted, then let his voice fall softer as he went on. “Although I can just hear Balthier now, laughing at me,” he muttered.

“What are you talking about?” Firion asked, a hint of amusement on his face.

“Ugh, never mind,” Vaan said, shaking his head.

“Let's move. We should not waste time,” Cecil spoke up, moving to the front of the line.

“He's as bad as she is,” Vaan whispered, just loud enough so only the people nearest to him could hear; Tidus stifled his laughter, as he was sure Lightning was one of those people.

“Well, isn't this a surprise.” Cloud's stomach turned as he was the first to recognize the voice. At least, he _thought_ it was her voice. He halted in his tracks so abruptly that the others stopped along with him.

“Did you hear something?” Firion asked, turning toward Cloud. Tifa and Cloud exchanged confused glances, shocked that Firion had missed the sound.

“Draw your weapons,” Cloud hissed, voice low. Everyone obeyed. Tidus could feel Cloud's tension increase, and although he didn't know what was causing Cloud's anxiety, he moved in a little closer to let Cloud know he was there to support him.

“Show yourself!” Cloud shouted fiercely, but everyone could detect the fear in his voice.

“What's going on?” Tidus asked, raising a brow as he sought Cloud's answer.

“You didn't hear that?” Tifa questioned, worry rising to her face. She could feel the memories pouring back, memories of the girl whose life had been ripped away from her far too soon by none other than Sephiroth.

“Cloud? Tifa?” came the voice from behind. The two whipped around to gaze upon the petite brunette walking toward them, her green eyes and pink dress launching them deeper into their painful memories.

“No,” Cloud whispered, his voice breaking. “It _is_ you.”

“Aerith? But you're—” Tifa asked, weakly. The other warriors turned to take in the girl before them, but only worry and confusion fell upon their faces.

“Dead,” Cloud said, giving a quick glance in Tifa's direction. Tifa nodded, though she still looked torn.

“She's not... one of those ghost-manikins, is she?” Tidus spoke up, though his voice remained quiet, so he wouldn't upset Cloud or Tifa.

“If she's dead, then perhaps she is,” Firion agreed.

“Of course, she is,” came a new, shrill voice.

“Who's there?” Cloud yelled, looking around wildly for some glimpse of the intruder.

“Ah, cool yer jets. We're right here,” came another voice, this one quite gruff. That tone immediately sent anger shooting through Tidus' body.

The warriors spun around again, and spotted two forms coming up the path towards them. The warriors adjusted their weapons as Jecht and Kefka approached, but were surprised when neither of the enemies attacked. Instead, Jecht slammed his sword into the ground, causing the dirt to rise up into a small bump and travel forward in a wave. It rushed past the group of Cosmos troops, and crashed into the figure of Aerith, causing her to vanish in a wisp of smoke. Tifa and Cloud jumped back, startled, and a little enraged.

“That was fun, that was fun,” Kefka sang, as he jaunted toward the Cosmos warriors.

“Fun?” Lightning demanded. “Well, too bad. Playtime's over,” she said, swinging her sword, and holding it out in front of her, threateningly.

“Yeah. Why are you here, anyway?” Tidus glared, his eyes piercing his father's.

“To give you a warning,” Kefka replied, sticking a long, crooked finger into Tidus' face, causing Tidus to lean back a little. “You may have taken down Sephiroth, little one,” he said, turning to Cloud. “But there are still many of us left.”

“So, Sephiroth really is gone,” Tifa stated. It was a comforting fact, yet she couldn't relax.Cloud stared down at the ground for a moment, frowning as he tried to figure things out.

“Our friend. The girl that was just here... You created her, didn't you? From our memories?” Cloud asked, a scowl on his face. The other warriors exchanged glances and remarks of mutual confusion.

“What? From your memories?” Tidus asked, looking to Cloud for answers, but Cloud's gaze was now firmly on the enemies.

“It's just something that Sephiroth said. When I fought him,” Cloud replied, monotonously.

“Oooooooh, thinks he's smart, doesn't he?” Kefka laughed, rubbing his hands together maniacally. His devil-may-care attitude was rapidly irking Cloud.

“Tell me,” Cloud ordered, teeth clenched. Two strides, and he was close enough to haul Kefka in by the collar. “How do you do it? How do you make them appear?” he demanded.

“Cloud. Cloud, hey,” Tidus said, gently, his hand reaching for Cloud's shoulder, and snapping the man back to reality. Cloud careened under Tidus' touch, and allowed himself to be drawn back a safe distance from the Chaos minion. Kefka adjusted his collar from where Cloud had ruffled it, and smiled evilly as Jecht began to speak.

“You guys cause half the damage,” Jecht chuckled.

“Chaos takes _your_ memories from Cosmos to make the crystal skeletons. Theeeeeeeennn we use this,” Kefka grinned. He reached behind his back, and pulled out a purple flower—the same type of flower they'd seen in the woods while investigating the ghost-manikins. A couple of the Cosmos troops gasped. Cloud's mouth parted slightly in disbelief as he eyed the flower, its yellow pollen gone from its centre. Kefka had already disturbed it, set it free.

“And that messes with our heads. Makes us see them as more than regular manikins,” Lightning spoke up.

“But what I don't understand...” Cloud trailed off, frowning as he turned his gaze toward Tidus.

“You saw my manikin, right? In human form? Even though he was made from _my_ memories?” Cloud asked. Tidus nodded, brows creased with confusion. Yes, he remembered every detail of Cloud's manikin. The spiky black hair and glowing blue eyes, like Cloud's. He'd looked as human as anyone else, despite the fact that he had floated out over the cliff.

“That's your doing,” Jecht explained. “Once you see or imagine those manikins in human form, that form solidifies. Becomes real. That's why y'all could see the girl just now, too.”

“Gah, I'm confused!” Tidus shouted, shaking his head rapidly. “So, Chaos has been stealing our memories from Cosmos, right? Then he uses those memories to create people from our past in the form of crystal manikins. The pollen from those purple flowers confuses us, and makes us imagine those crystal forms as the people we knew, just as detailed as they were in our memories. And seeing them like that makes them real for other people to see?” Tidus asked, waving his hands as he spoke.

“You must've grown smarter, kid,” Jecht smirked. Tidus scowled.

“That's a pretty complex scheme,” Lightning frowned, placing a hand on her hip. “I'm almost impressed.”

“Those manikins talked to us. Tried to persuade us to join Chaos, or to end our own lives,” Firion spoke up. “Was that Chaos' doing?”

“Brilliant, isn't it?” Kefka beamed, clapping his hands.

“I'll bet Chaos doesn't think it's too brilliant that you just spilled the beans to your enemies,” Vaan grinned, folding his arms in front of his chest, proudly. Jecht and Kefka exchanged disgruntled looks, but regained their composure within seconds.

“Too bad your goddess caught us red-handed. Has all your memories under lock and key now. Can't play our games for too much longer,” Jecht said, rotating his shoulder in its socket.

“Because you can't go through our memories anymore, right? You can't make new manikins based on people we once knew,” Tifa speculated, fists clenched.

“Too bad. Chaos enjoys torturing you lot almost as much as I do,” Kefka cheered, as he briefly leaped into the air.

“Why? What do you get out of this anyway?!” Tifa shouted, taking a step forward, her forehead creased into a frown.

“What? Satisfaction's not enough?” Jecht smirked.

“Don't forget torture. All those memories. All those voices and faces that render you all speechless. Such priceless torture!” Kefka screamed.

“Enough talk!” Tidus interjected, drawing his blade.

“Yes. If it's a fight you want...” Firion started, taking a step towards the Chaos warriors, raising his sword up in front of his face.

“Not here. Not today,” Jecht said.

“Whaaaaat?!” Kefka screeched, turning to Jecht, jaw agape.

“I didn't expect there to be this many of 'em. Even I'm not eager to go up against those odds,” Jecht told Kefka, causing the jester to roll his eyes in disgust.

“What? Are you scared?” Tidus taunted.

“You, kid,” Jecht said, placing a hand on Tidus' shoulder, the weight almost making Tidus buckle beneath him. Cloud was shocked to see Tidus' courage retreating.

“We're going to fight one-on-one another time,” Jecht told him.

“Of course, we are,” Tidus said, trying to sound brave. He had always been eager to fight his father, but now that he was here before his eyes, looking so big and strong, Tidus wasn't as courageous as he thought he should be.

“The rest of Chaos. Where are they?” Cecil asked.

“Sorry to tell ya, but you're headin' the wrong way. Nothing but rocks up ahead,” Jecht told the group. Suspicious glances were exchanged between the troops; all felt a little reluctant to believe him.

“Why aren't the other Chaos warriors showing themselves?” Tifa asked, her voice firm.

“Oho, they're not as impatient as we are. They like to plan their moves more carefully, catch each one of you when you're alone,” Kefka informed them, with a conniving grin and a pointed finger.

“Catching us when we're alone,” Cloud repeated. His stomach turned as he was reminded of his recent battle with Sephiroth. So, that was Chaos' ultimate plan: to get them when they were alone, to fight them when no one was nearby to help. It seemed he really had been lucky to survive.

“Well, that's not gonna happen. We're sticking together,” Vaan announced, a triumphant look on his face.

“Don't get cocky, kid. We'll get you one way or another,” Jecht warned. He turned, and started to walk off, but he heard his son's quiet footsteps behind him.

“Dad?” Tidus started. Jecht stopped in his tracks and turned his head just enough to catch a glimpse of his son.

“Whenever you're ready. Meet me at Dream's End,” Jecht replied, not needing to have heard the questions. Tidus grew silent and lowered his head as his father and Kefka walked off. Cloud wanted to comfort him, but he was so upset himself, he wasn't sure how much good it would do.

“What is our next move?” Firion asked.

“We keep going,” Lightning replied.

“But you heard what Jecht said. We're going the wrong way!” Vaan exclaimed.

“Tidus, you know Jecht better than we do. Do you think we can trust him?” Tifa asked. Tidus remained silent, then brought his hands up to his head and ran them frantically through his hair.

“I... I don't know,” he answered, with an exasperated sigh.

“Well, I'm going on ahead. Those in favour, follow me,” Lightning said, starting to walk off.

“Wait, Lightning! We shouldn't split up,” Tifa called out, but she was ignored.

“Tidus, what do you want to do?” Firion asked.

“Gah! Just give me a minute to think, will ya?” Tidus shouted, taking a couple of strides away from the group. The others watched him go, startled by his sudden outburst.

“Um, I should probably...” Vaan spoke up, pointing towards Lightning before running off after her.

“Me too. Cloud, will you be okay if I—” Tifa started, placing a gentle hand on Cloud's shoulder, only to have Cloud jump beneath her touch.

“I don't know either! I don't know what we should do,” Cloud replied, hurriedly, not sounding at all like himself. Tifa backed off, letting him know he didn't have to say anything more. She knew the conversation with the enemies had upset him, and she recognized that he needed his space in times like these.

“I should go with Lightning. I'll see you soon, okay?” Tifa half-smiled, pulling Cloud into a quick embrace before hurrying off after her companions. Cloud watched her go, then dragged his gaze back to Firion and Cecil, where he remained still and silent.

“I do not think it would be wise to continue after them. Jecht's words worry me,” Cecil spoke up.

“And me as well. Perhaps we _are_ headed the wrong way,” Firion agreed. He glanced toward Tidus who still stood a few feet away, his back to the remaining members of the group. Firion took a deep breath and proceeded to Tidus' side. Tidus quickly glanced to see who was there, then his gaze returned to the ground.

“Even if Jecht is our enemy, I don't believe he would try to deceive his own son,” Firion told him. Tidus shook his head and sighed.

“You obviously don't know my old man very well, Firion.”

“What do you want to do now?” Firion asked. Tidus glanced behind him to where Cloud was standing, still as a statue. He wanted some time alone with him; he thought it might be the only thing that would calm his frayed nerves at this point.

“Can we set up camp?” Tidus asked, quietly.

“It's only mid-day,” Firion said.

“I know, but... I just need some time to think, okay?” Tidus' conflicted expression was enough to make Firion give in. He gave his friend a gentle smile.

“Of course,” he replied, before walking off to prepare the tents with Cecil.

* * *

“How are you holding up?” Cloud asked, as he entered the tent that he and Tidus had agreed to share that night. Tidus sat campfire-style on his sleeping bag in the middle of the tent, his eyes on his boots. He was glad Cloud had finally come in. He had heard him outside setting up the second tent with Firion and Cecil, and then preparing food around the fire. Tidus had been worried he might not be in to check on him until he was already a nervous wreck.

“I'm, uh... I'm okay,” Tidus replied, not bothering to look up. Cloud zipped the tent closed behind him, and knelt down in front of Tidus' slumped form. He analyzed him for a long time, taking in his slouched posture, his downward-pointed face.

“You don't have to pretend,” Cloud told him, tilting his head to the side, hoping to catch his friend's eye. He wasn't used to seeing this vulnerable side of Tidus, and he hoped he would be able to comfort him as well as Tidus always seemed to comfort him, though he was feeling more than a little shaky himself.

“I'm not pretending,” Tidus told him, shaking his head. The downward curl of his lips was enough to tell Cloud otherwise, and Cloud poked his head in a little closer to try to make eye contact.

“Tidus?”

“Fine. I'm scared, okay?” Tidus said, looking up for a minute, long enough for Cloud to catch the fear in his expression. Cloud pondered for a moment, a little surprised to see such anxiety in Tidus' eyes. Perhaps Tidus' dislike of his father was not built on hatred alone.

“Of fighting Jecht, right? I don't blame you,” Cloud said. He timidly reached for Tidus' thigh, and let his hand rest gently upon it. Tidus tried not to stare at Cloud's hand there, thinking if he paid too much attention to it, Cloud might pull away, but the contact gave him the courage to meet Cloud's lingering gaze.

“Fighting takes courage. Fighting family... Well, I imagine that takes even more,” Cloud sympathized. “It's only natural to be afraid.”

“I guess. I mean, I've fought him before. Just... not alone,” Tidus spoke up again. His words seemed to cause a tension within Cloud's body; he felt the hand on his leg twitch. Cloud got up and began to pace back and forth in front of the door of the tent. Tidus' eyes moved to watch him.

“That's just what they want, isn't it? We shouldn't have split up,” Cloud uttered in a low voice. Tidus shrugged.

“Probably wouldn't have mattered. My old man wants to fight me on his own, and I think I just have to go along with it... 'cause I sort of feel the same way,” he explained, causing Cloud's head to whip around in his direction.

“What?” Cloud asked, his brows furrowed.

“I kind of feel like I need to settle the score, you know? That I need to do this by myself. I think it'll help me put a lot of things to rest,” Tidus replied, though the look on Cloud's face was making him think he wasn't making any sense.

“You could get hurt, you know?” Cloud said.

“Yeah, I know, but—”

“What if one of those manikins shows up? What if they show you someone you lost? You can't risk losing your concentration,” Cloud said, quickly. Tidus could have sworn Cloud was trying to talk him out of this fight.

“Cloud, it'll be fine. Those manikins don't really bother me anymore. I know they're not real,” Tidus replied, calmly, which only seemed to make Cloud even more upset.

“Besides, if I understood right, they were only making those manikins from our memories, right? The ones Cosmos collected when we first came here?” Tidus asked.

He thought back to when they had first arrived. Cosmos had been awaiting her warriors at Order's Sanctuary, each still unconscious from the travel between worlds. Meanwhile, Cosmos had recorded each warrior's memories, and stored them in a vortex of magic which she called 'the vault'. If something were ever to happen to one of her warriors, she would easily be able to restore their memories. Little did she know that such a precaution could backfire.

“If what my old man said is true, then she's protecting the vault better now. That means Chaos can't get any more memories, and there's no reason to worry, right? I've already seen the worst they can do,” Tidus said.

“But, Tidus, they can manipulate us so easily. Or, at least... they can manipulate _me_.”

Cloud ceased his pacing. His eyes fell closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. Tidus stood up slowly and stared at Cloud's rigid form.

“Those manikins... They really get to you, don't they?” Tidus asked, carefully.

“They don't make things easy, that's for sure,” Cloud answered, after a long silence. He let his hand fall back down to his side, and his eyes drifted open.

“Are you upset about seeing your friend?” Tidus paused to think of the name. “Aerith?” Cloud averted his gaze, and found himself lost for words.

“I think Kefka just wanted to freak you out 'cause you were the first to kill one of Chaos' bunch,” Tidus explained, with a shrug.

“I know, but I... I hate it. I see my friends, and I freeze.” Cloud's voice died off.

“Hey,” the younger man cooed, proceeding forward and reaching for Cloud's hands, calmly bringing them down to rest between their bodies. Cloud allowed his fingers to link with Tidus' when Tidus' eyes silently asked him for the contact.

“It's gonna be okay,” Tidus promised.

“Is it? I don't feel so sure,” Cloud replied, his gaze falling to rest on the floor of the tent. Tidus stifled a sigh, and let go of Cloud's hands, pulling him into an embrace instead. Cloud was startled at first, but he closed his eyes and for the first time really let himself soak up the comfort he felt when he was in Tidus' arms. There was a certain warmth there, one that was entirely different from Zack's, but soothing nonetheless. And safe. He couldn't explain why, but he certainly felt safe.

“You okay?” Tidus asked, when he felt Cloud was ready. He felt Cloud sigh against his neck before he began to speak.

“I'm just so tired of fighting. Sometimes I feel like fighting's all I've ever done.”

“If you didn't want to fight, why'd you come here in the first place?” Tidus asked, cautiously, pulling away a bit so he could see Cloud's face. “When Cosmos summoned you, why didn't you just say no?”

“Because... Back then, I needed a distraction. Being at home was too painful. I needed to get away,” Cloud explained. Tidus nodded gently, encouraging him to continue when he looked like there was more he needed to say.

“Little did I know that all those memories that haunted me there... would just be tossed in my face again here,” Cloud said, lowering his eyes. Tidus hesitated, watching Cloud with a pained expression, not quite sure what to say. He couldn't stand it, seeing Cloud so hurt, and so lost.

“Well, don't worry. We've got a lot of strong warriors on our side. Hopefully all the fighting will be over soon,” he said, forcing a half-smile.

“Not until we fight Chaos. Not until you fight your father,” Cloud reminded him. Tidus almost wanted to ask whether Cloud was worried about him fighting Jecht—it certainly _seemed_ like he was—but he decided against putting Cloud on the spot like that.

“We'll handle it,” Tidus told him, keeping his expression serious in hopes that Cloud would believe him. He just wished he could believe himself. Cloud stared into Tidus' eyes and was soothed by how calm they were. Cloud released a bitter chuckle, and shook his head.

“I'm sorry. _I_ should be comforting _you,_ but here you are, comforting me. Again,” Cloud said, a bit ashamed under the circumstances. How was it that the conversation had turned, that Cloud had gone from giving the comfort to receiving it? He didn't have any longer to ponder that when Tidus shook his head.

“It doesn't matter. You're here for me, too, right?” Tidus whispered, his saddening eyes and trembling smile desperately seeking Cloud's answer. Cloud didn't have to think twice.

“Of course,” he nodded, and it was the truth. He _wanted_ to be there for Tidus. He wanted to make this a two-way street, where they could both rely on each other for soothing words and kind gestures.

Cloud's arms found their way to Tidus' waist for the first time. They were uncertain at first, not quite sure where to rest, but they eventually nestled above Tidus' hips and relaxed. Tidus smiled, weakly, and Cloud felt his hand travel to the back of his neck, gently coaxing him to rest his head on his shoulder. Cloud sort of wished he had the strength to resist, to man up a little, but he knew Tidus would never judge him for his weaknesses. Tidus was one of the only people who _knew_ of his weaknesses, who embraced and accepted them. Why would he want to pull away from that?

They remained still in each other's gentle hold, Cloud's chin resting lightly on Tidus' shoulder. Seconds turned to minutes, and Cloud's shaky hands began to rub lightly at Tidus' back. Cloud didn't think about it at first, but once he did, he made sure that each small circle was as tender and soothing as the last.

As the minutes continued to add up, Cloud began to feel small, wet droplets on his face, and when they were immediately followed by quiet sobs, he realized Tidus' fears had piled up within him again. Cloud just tightened the embrace and raised his head. Gently, he coaxed Tidus' head against his shoulder instead, wanting to comfort him even if it was only in a small way.

“We're kind of pathetic, aren't we?” Cloud eventually said, feeling Tidus' gloved fingers clutch him a little tighter.

“Kind of,” Tidus agreed, forcing a tearful chuckle.

The tremors of Tidus' sobs eventually brought the men to their knees, yet they continued to hold each other. Tidus brought his head up off of Cloud's shoulder, and pressed his forehead to his companion's. Their eyes met, and for a long while they just stared while Tidus steadied his breathing, and got himself back under control.

“Cloud?” Tidus whispered.

“Yeah?” Cloud breathed.

Eyes met again—curious at first, then absolutely certain. No more words were spoken. No more sobs emerged. Instead, they silently agreed upon their next move. Tidus tilted his head just a smidgen, and Cloud parted his lips, ready for contact. Then they leaned together the perfect amount, their lips meeting with a meticulous tenderness that each hoped would soothe the other. They stayed there for several seconds while the event registered in both their minds.

The contact was broken only for a moment while eyes met eyes again. They didn't need words to agree that in this moment, this was right for them. They leaned in again, their lips meeting in gentle, considerate caresses. Neither fought for dominance; they were both in perfect equilibrium with each other, accepting and giving kisses in turn.

Both hearts were pounding now, the thrill of finally getting to this point making their blood run faster. Cloud was currently having a hard time forming any thoughts, but he knew one thing for sure: he was happy. Tidus loved him, and he was content knowing that he was giving Tidus what he'd been seeking—what he'd deserved—for a long time. He was happy to know he was filling Tidus' heart with joy.

Cloud felt Tidus' hand at the nape of his neck, stroking him, and Cloud found the courage to raise his own hand to Tidus' face, his thumb brushing away the last of the young man's tears. Cloud felt Tidus' lips tighten into a small smile as they kissed, and Cloud was filled with an immediate warmth; he was elated that they had made it this far.

Tidus could practically hear Cloud's heart pounding along with his own, and he couldn't even begin to describe how wonderful he felt in that moment. Cloud was kissing him back, was holding him close—two things that, at times, Tidus was convinced would never happen. Cloud's lips were soft and moist against his own, and Tidus made a point of memorizing every detail of them.

Cloud was amazing, and he deserved amazing in return. Knowing that, Tidus took the plunge, and deepened the kiss, his hand pulling Cloud in a little closer. His tongue ran along Cloud's lips, tasting them, and committing them to memory, then he let Cloud caress his bottom lip between his own two. He was a bit thankful that he'd had this experience with Yuna first, so he knew how to make Cloud enjoy every second of this kiss. Maybe it was because this was his first guy-on-guy kiss, maybe it was because Cloud was finally reciprocating those feelings that Tidus had had for him for so long, but Tidus didn't know if he'd ever felt so ecstatic.

Finally, they parted, ending the embrace as well, and Tidus opened his eyes so he could search Cloud's. He was relieved when he saw no signs of fear or regret. Cloud simply stared at him, a soft expression on his face.

“Well, that was new,” Tidus said, gently, cracking a smile. Cloud released a light chuckle, and lowered his head a little.

“Yeah, it was,” he replied, with a small smile. “But it was good.”

“It _was_. Really good,” Tidus agreed, his grin increasing a little.

They proceeded to sit in awkward silence, glancing around the tent as they tried to steady their rapid heart rates, and attempted to put aside the blasted question that kept repeating in their heads, screaming ' _What next?'._ Eventually, Tidus drew his gaze back to Cloud, and he gave a gentle smile, one that he hoped would keep Cloud's worries at bay.

“Will you lie down with me?” Tidus asked, patting the sleeping bag next to him. Cloud watched him for a minute, trying to decipher his intentions, but figured that with Firion and Cecil in the next tent over, those intentions had to be innocent.

“Sure,” Cloud replied, following Tidus over to the sleeping bags and flopping down on top of them. Tidus lay on his back, and Cloud lay on his side so that he could still get a good look at Tidus' face. Cloud silently sought Tidus' permission before draping an arm around his waist, then he moved in a little closer so he could rest his head next to Tidus'. Tidus rested his hands atop Cloud's, and he released a quiet sigh of relief.

“Are you okay now?” Cloud asked him. Tidus glanced down in his direction.

“Yeah. I feel better,” he nodded. “How about you?”

“Mm-hmm. Better,” Cloud agreed. They lay in peaceful silence, taking the time to let the memory of the kiss settle in their minds. In some ways, it was hard to believe it was even real, but it brought them both a feeling of amazement and utmost happiness to know that it was.

“Cloud?” Tidus spoke up, voice dream-like.

“Mm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“Do you think your friends are at peace?” Cloud frowned, stomach tightening a little as he tried to figure out why Tidus would bring up such a topic at a time like this.

“You mean Zack and Aerith?”

“Yeah,” Tidus nodded, eyes on the tent ceiling. Cloud breathed in deeply, considering the question.

“I don't really know. I _hope_ so,” he eventually replied. “Why?”

“I've been thinking about that manikin we saw today, and that talk we had last night. All those things you said about the afterlife just made me wonder... I mean, what do they say about it in your world?” Tidus asked, glancing at Cloud. Cloud gave a sigh.

“Where I come from, when people die, it's said that they go to the Lifestream. It's basically the planet's energy. It gives life to the world, as well as everyone and every thing in it,” Cloud explained. Tidus must have known Cloud didn't particularly like talking about the subject, as he began gently stroking Cloud's gloved hand.

“So, when you said you wanted to be with Zack in the afterlife—?”

“Yeah, I guess I just want to find his energy, and travel alongside him in the current,” Cloud went on. He wasn't surprised to find his stomach was quickly becoming a bundle of knots, but Tidus just gave his hand a squeeze.

“It's a comforting thought, isn't it?” he smiled, gently. Cloud didn't know how Tidus could understand all this, and not feel slighted, but somehow, he was doing it; either that, or he was faking it awfully well.

“What about in your world?” Cloud asked. Tidus nodded, as if he'd been expecting the question.

“To be honest, I don't remember much about what it was like in my Zanarkand, but in Spira, we have the Farplane. Sort of a gathering place for the dead. You can see the people you lost there, but trust me, it's not as nice as it sounds,” Tidus explained. Cloud frowned a little, detecting the pain in Tidus' voice.

“You saw someone?”

“My mother.”

“Could you talk to her?”

“No. Conversations are kinda one-sided there,” Tidus sighed. He glanced over again to see the saddened look on Cloud's face.

“Oh man, look what I did,” Tidus groaned. “I went and depressed you.”

“I'm fine,” Cloud replied, but his tone wasn't very convincing.

“I'd better fix that,” Tidus chuckled, softly, the corners of his mouth curling upward as he leaned in toward Cloud. Lips met again, eyes closing softly. They shared only one kiss this time, but when they pulled away, the tension of the conversation was gone.

“Good move,” Cloud said, lips nearly curving into a smirk.

“Thanks,” Tidus beamed, playfully.

He settled back down, closing his eyes as Cloud breathed softly next to him.

“Tidus, I liked what you said yesterday. About having someone by my side until the afterlife...”

“Yeah?” Tidus asked, eyes fluttering back open to catch Cloud's expression.

“I mean, I certainly don't want to rush things, but in this moment... Being with you feels okay,” Cloud explained slowly. His eyes looked uncertain, like he wasn't sure how Tidus would react, but he should have known better than to fear. Tidus' smile grew a little, his brows creasing upward into a soft expression.

“Really? So, we're... going to try this? Being a couple?” he asked, voice light. Cloud paused, giving himself the time to reflect, to back out if he had to, but he didn't. He didn't _want_ to. Cloud gave a nod, and a flicker of a smile.

“I'm glad,” Tidus grinned, widely. Glad. What an understatement.

A long while passed while hands caressed hands, and Cloud eventually noticed Tidus' breathing growing heavier. Every few minutes, his eyes would close, then he would awaken with a little jolt. After that, his eyes would remain open for a few seconds before drooping closed again.

“You can sleep, if you want,” Cloud told him, gently.

“I might have to,” Tidus replied. “Sorry.”

“It's okay,” Cloud said, expression soft. Tidus smiled.

“Maybe if I sleep now, I can take night-watch later and give Firion a break.”

“Sounds like a good idea. Maybe I'll do that, too. Keep you company,” Cloud replied.

“I'll go tell Firion,” Tidus said, moving to get up, but Cloud stopped him with a gentle hand on his chest, coaxing him to lay down again.

“I'll tell him. You rest,” Cloud gently instructed. Tidus was reluctant at first, but decided to take advantage of Cloud's kindness towards him.

“Mm-kay. But you'll come back?” Tidus asked, lying back down and watching Cloud as he headed for the door of the tent.

“I'll come back,” Cloud promised, giving him a nod before he exited. Tidus settled down with a contented smile on his face, and fell asleep to the pleasant memories of aqua eyes and soft, pink lips on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Happy? :) Yes, the boys are really getting somewhere now! I made a lot of edits to this chapter, but hopefully their first kiss was everything you all hoped it would be. I really like how in this chapter, Tidus' feelings for Cloud make him want to be able to fall apart when he's with him (he chooses Cloud as his shoulder to cry on), and for Cloud to accept and want that, too... I don't know, I think it's just a nice connection between them. I hope you enjoyed this little present from me at the end of the long week-end! Nothing like a little T/C cuteness to start the week!
> 
> Just a little note. 'The vault' was just something I made up so Cosmos could store their memories somewhere. It's not really in Dissidia. That's all for now! Thanks to the people who reviewed last time! I loved/love hearing from you, new readers!


	17. Chance

" _Look, Zack. Look who I found." It was Aerith's voice, Cloud was sure of it, even though he couldn't see anything through the blackness that surrounded him. Cloud heard what sounded like wind; maybe it was just his ghostly friends rushing to his side._

" _Cloud, hey, buddy. How've you been?" Zack's voice resonated through the darkness._

_Finally, the blackness started to lift, and Cloud's vision started to return, leaving black only around the edges. He was surprised when it wasn't Zack or Aerith that he saw in front of him. Instead, he saw Tidus smiling at him. Before he knew it, they were leaning towards each other, their lips meeting in another perfect kiss like they had shared just hours before, but this time, Cloud could feel something tearing at his insides. Was this... Zack's pain?_

" _What? Cloud, why?" Zack asked, sounding like he'd just lost his best friend; perhaps, in his head, he had._

_Cloud wanted to give Zack an answer, to reassure him that he loved him, but he somehow knew that if he broke the contact he had with Tidus, he would lose him forever in that darkness that still threatened his vision. He couldn't let Tidus go; he refused._

" _He's moved on. Can't you see?" Aerith asked her companion._

" _I guess he has," came Zack's solemn reply._

_Cloud felt Tidus' hand on his neck, deepening the kiss, and Cloud felt something else rip inside him. It hurt so badly, a searing pain, tearing him down the middle, and tugging at his aching heart. It only hurt worse when he heard Zack mumbling words of hurt and betrayal under his breath; his voice was so sad, so quiet. Cloud knew Zack was keeping his voice low in an attempt to spare Cloud's feelings, but every few seconds, Cloud would catch an audible word, and was stabbed with the pain Zack was experiencing._

" _Tidus," Cloud tried to utter, but it came out a mere murmur as their lips moved together. Part of him wanted to push Tidus away, but part of him screamed not to._

" _Zack," Cloud tried to say instead, but he could no longer hear Zack nor Aerith around him. Tidus finally broke the kiss, stared at him a moment, as if questioning Cloud's hesitation, but before Cloud could respond, his mind was once again taken over by blackness before a new scene presented itself before him._

_He was in a field—a green field in what must have been early spring. Birds were chirping off in the distance. It was beautiful, peaceful. Small blue flowers were just beginning to bloom, their bright colors popping up above the green blades of grass, still sprinkled with morning dew._

" _Tidus, what are you doing?" Cloud asked, with a half-chuckle. He watched the young man from where he stood. Tidus was sprawled out on his back in the grass, arms and legs out to the sides, leisurely._

" _Shouldn't we be heading out soon?" Cloud tried again. When Tidus refused to open his tired eyes, Cloud took a few steps forward._

" _Tidus?" Cloud said again, hoping Tidus would give up the joke. "Are you asleep? Or just pretending?"_

_Cloud continued forward, but when his eyes caught sight of the boy's body, his feet brought him to a dead halt. Tidus was pale. Far too pale. Cloud felt his heart plummet when he discovered why Tidus wasn't responding. Cloud didn't remember closing the distance between them; he only remembered the crimson blood pooling around Tidus' body as he knelt beside him. Cloud searched for a wound, for some opening from which the blood was seeping, but he found none._

" _What happened?" Cloud asked, as if he thought Tidus might answer._

" _Are you surprised, Cloud? Aren't you used to this sort of tragedy?" came Sephiroth's voice. Cloud turned his head as little as possible, not wanting to see the man he loathed so much unless he absolutely had to. Once he confirmed it was indeed Sephiroth's shadowy form behind him, he turned back to Tidus._

" _What are you talking about?" Cloud spat, though he honestly didn't care what Sephiroth's answer was._

" _You know exactly what I mean, Cloud. Trouble will always follow you. Wherever you go," Sephiroth sneered. Cloud didn't have to look to feel those evil eyes digging into him._

" _That's not true," Cloud said, shaking his head madly as he gathered Tidus' broken body into his arms. His hands roamed endlessly, searching once more for the source of the bleeding, but it was futile. There was no wound; he'd simply been cursed with misfortune._

" _Of course, it's true," Sephiroth replied. "You will always be surrounded by loss, and heartache, and death. Why not accept the fact that you should be alone?"_

" _No. Things can't always end this way. They can't," Cloud argued. "They can't. They can't. They can't," he continued to repeat, over and over until Tidus' body had bled dry._

* * *

Cloud awoke with a start, springing into a sitting position, breathing hard. He glanced around the tent. He was alone.

"Tidus," he mouthed, finding his voice was momentarily gone.

His hand fell upon Tidus' empty sleeping bag, left in disarray. His fingers curled into the fabric, clutching it tightly. Cloud tried to catch his breath, but had trouble getting air into his lungs, which suddenly felt too small for his ribcage. He raised a hand to his forehead to find that he was drenched in a cold sweat. Even his hair and clothes were damp. He shook his head to try and calm himself.

"Tidus, where are you?" he tried to whisper, his mind assuming the worst, but as the nightmare faded, his rationality returned. Tidus was probably just out on night-watch; that had been his plan, anyway.

Cloud swallowed, his stomach tying itself into a tight knot as he tried to comprehend what he'd seen in his dreams, to break down the haunting images that only moments ago had tormented his mind. Sure, they were only dreams, but there was always a possibility that they could come true. To think that he could be hurting Zack, his dear Zack who he hoped was watching over him. To think that Tidus could be in real danger if he stuck next to him... No, he wouldn't let himself think such things.

Cloud shook his head again, trying to rid himself of the last of his fears. With a sigh, he clambered off of his sleeping bag and exited the tent at a speed that was uncharacteristically fast for him.

"Hey," Tidus smiled, as Cloud scrambled out of the tent. He was sitting by the fire, drawing patterns in the dirt with a stick, looking as content as ever. Cloud couldn't describe how thankful he was to see him in one piece.

"Hey," Cloud replied, forcing a quick smile, and pushing his nightmare further back into his mind as he approached. "What are you up to?" He hoped Tidus wouldn't notice that his voice still sounded a little off.

"Battle techniques," Tidus grinned, eyes on his drawing. Cloud looked down at the ground to see a misshapen manikin that Tidus had scrawled in the dirt.

"You? Strategizing? I'm kind of impressed," Cloud said. He knew his attempt at humour was probably overcompensation for his horrible nightmare, but he had to do something to keep Tidus from worrying. Tidus' mouth popped open when he realized Cloud had actually teased him, but shook off his surprise with a wild grin.

"Okay, you got me there. But that's the point. I was thinking you and I should do some training."

"Training? What kind?" Cloud asked, raising a brow, a little intrigued.

"Well, it's no secret that you think about what you're doing in battle _a lot_ more than I do, and I think maybe that's what I need to do in order to take down my old man. You could give me some pointers, and in return, I could give you some tips on how to deal with those ghost-manikins," Tidus explained, looking proud of himself for coming up with such a plan.

"Not a bad idea, I guess," Cloud shrugged, though he wasn't exactly keen on the manikin part; if he were to start thinking about Zack now, he wasn't quite sure how he would handle it. "When do we start?" he spoke up again, distracting himself.

"Well, Cecil's supposed to take the last few hours of night-watch. Maybe we could slip away for a bit then?" Tidus asked, looking up at Cloud with those innocent blue eyes. "Or, maybe you're still too tired."

"No, not at all," Cloud said, words rushing out to form a beautiful lie. "I... had a good sleep."

"Good. So, we'll head out in a bit, then?" Tidus smiled.

"Yeah," Cloud replied, his own smile falling short.

* * *

"No. Your left arm. Your right arm is your sword arm, so the convenient thing to do is use your left arm for casting. That way, you don't have to drop your weapon," Cloud instructed.

"Oh. Y-yeah," Tidus mumbled, raising his left arm.

"Try a spell, but keep your sword at the ready, 'cause if I'm coming at you like this—" Cloud charged forward, Buster Sword out in front of him, pointed at Tidus' chest.

Tidus closed his eyes, trying to focus, but he could hear Cloud's footsteps coming at him fast, and to be honest, he wasn't totally confident that Cloud would avoid hitting him. Right now, Cloud seemed more than a little touchy. He'd been shouting out orders since they'd started training, his advice coming out sounding more like criticism than help. Tidus wouldn't have been surprised if one of them ended up hurt, even if it was by accident; Cloud was just too intense at the moment.

"Fira," Tidus uttered, eyes fluttering open in time to see Cloud run past him; he let out a breath of relief, as Cloud had been a little too close for comfort. His relief was short-lived, however. A small puff of smoke shot out from his fingertips, and he stumbled backwards as pain shot up his arm and into his shoulder.

"Owww!" he shouted, clutching his injury ruefully. "Time out. My arm... I-I need a break," he groaned, carefully lowering himself to the ground.

Cloud turned to watch him, and felt his frustration rise. If this was the best of Tidus' abilities, then he sure as hell wasn't ready to fight Jecht. Or _anyone_ , for that matter. As Tidus gingerly peeled his shirt away from the wound, however, Cloud's impatience dwindled, and it was replaced by a feeling of sympathy. Cloud let the Buster Sword fall to the ground, and he took a seat beside Tidus.

"You okay?" he asked, voice soft now.

"I think so. Sort of felt like it short-circuited or something. Like the spell went back to the wound." Tidus' attention was on his shoulder, where his stitches were now surrounded by burned, red skin.

"Oh, that's probably what happened. Tidus, I'm sorry. I didn't think of your shoulder when I got you to do that spell."

"It's okay," Tidus mumbled, a little frustrated, but he tried not to let it show.

"No, here," Cloud said, reaching into his pocket. He took out a potion that he'd gotten from the young moogle, and poured a little onto his gloved fingers. "Let me," he offered.

Tidus' lips curved into a brief, soft smile, and he gave Cloud a nod, allowing him to move in closer. Cloud shuffled forward, and reached for Tidus' shoulder, fingers gently rubbing circles over the damaged skin, allowing the potion to sink in. His eyes remained on the injury, even when he felt Tidus' adoring gaze on him.

"Feel any better?" he asked, tipping the potion bottle once more, and spreading a bit more of its contents on the burn.

"A little," Tidus nodded. He watched Cloud's hand carefully, as it travelled over his skin, like it belonged there. He _yearned_ for it to belong there. He cleared his throat, and diverted his thoughts before he got too caught up in the moment.

"So, are you missing home?" he asked, causing Cloud to frown in confusion.

"That's out of the blue. Not really. Why?"

"You just seem a little on edge tonight, that's all," Tidus replied, giving a small smile. "I was hoping something like that was making you all grumpy. Not our kiss."

Cloud couldn't stop his eyes from fluttering up to meet Tidus' as the memory of that blissful moment replayed in his mind.

"It wasn't our kiss," Cloud assured him, though he couldn't say the same for the dream version. "And I'm not... _grumpy._ "

"Okay," Tidus chuckled, softly. "So, what _is_ your home like? I mean, what do you do there?"

Cloud eyed him suspiciously, wondering why he was choosing his homeworld as their conversation topic, but Tidus' curious eyes and innocent smile convinced him that he sincerely wanted to know more about him and where he came from. Besides, Cloud wasn't about to object to a distraction.

"Well, after my journey with my friends, I started a delivery service."

"Delivery service? Like, delivering babies, or—?"

"No," Cloud said, quickly, his nose scrunching up in disgust. "Mail," he corrected, managing a strained chuckle.

"I figured," Tidus grinned. "I just wanted to see you make that face."

Cloud caught his eye again, and felt the corners of his mouth lift up in amusement. He sort of liked the way Tidus teased him like that. Not everyone took that kind of risk with him, but truthfully, it just made Cloud feel normal.

"It's still pretty dangerous back home with the monsters running around, so I thought it would be a good way to help people out." Cloud paused to analyze the look of admiration Tidus was giving him, but he was quick to lower his head when the attention became a little embarrassing. "Besides, it keeps my mind off things. What about you?"

"Back in Zanarkand?" Tidus asked, sighing. "It was all about the game. I spent all my time training, trying to become the best blitzer out there. I wanted to be ten times better than my old man. Then, when I ended up in Spira, a lot of things changed," Tidus explained.

"How so?" Cloud tried, his interest piqued now. His head was tilted to the side, slightly, waiting patiently for Tidus to continue.

"I realized there were bigger things at stake. I became one of Yuna's guardians, learned how to use a sword, saw for myself how people suffered in Spira, and swore I would help Yuna and the others bring the Calm. Then, near the end of our journey, I found out that Yuna was planning to give up her life for the sake of peace in Spira. That's when I became determined to save her, too."

"And you did," Cloud said, lips forming a small smile.

"Yeah, I did," Tidus replied, softly. He turned his head slightly to meet Cloud's eyes. The Ex-SOLDIER's gaze was so gentle, but still contained that hint of curiosity that made Tidus want to tell him everything about his life right then and there. Cloud _wanted_ to know about him, and Tidus felt rewarded just knowing he cared.

"Sounds like you've grown because of it," Cloud went on.

"Yeah, I guess so," Tidus sighed. "I don't know. Sometimes it's hard to tell. I don't always take a step back and consider whether I've changed. I'm usually more attuned to what other people are going through."

"I've noticed," Cloud said, releasing another flicker of a smile. Tidus picked up on it, and his heart jumped with excitement at the mere sight of the man's contentment.

"But from what you've told me, it certainly _sounds_ like your journey made you stronger," Cloud finished.

"Thanks," Tidus smiled, sheepishly, eyes fluttering back to his shoulder.

Cloud's fingers were still at work, even though the potion had long since been absorbed into Tidus' skin. Tidus regretted staring when it made Cloud realize what he was doing. Cloud cleared his throat, and let his hand fall away from the wound.

"So, tell me about those manikins," he said, quickly screwing the top back onto the potion with nervous hands. He'd been desperate for another distraction, and unfortunately, the manikins had been the first thing to pop into his mind; to be honest, they were the last thing he wanted to think about.

"Huh?" Tidus asked, brows raised.

"That was part of the deal, wasn't it? I train you, you train me?" Cloud asked, brushing himself off as he stood.

"Oh, yeah. Well, where do you want me to start?"

"I guess I just want to know..." Cloud started, swallowing his emotions. "How you dealt with yours, and how come the thought of fighting more manikins like that doesn't bother you anymore."

"Well," Tidus started, getting to his feet. "I think the key is staying focused. Grounded."

"Grounded?" Cloud questioned.

"Yeah," Tidus nodded, gathering his sword off the ground. "Like, when I fought mine, the second she mentioned my old man, I knew she wasn't real."

"How?" Cloud frowned, collecting his own blade from the dirt. Tidus swung his sword in circles as he began to side-step.

"My mother knew how much I hated him. She would never have asked me to fight alongside him with Chaos. Hate to say it, but... my old man's probably what saved me. Or, my hatred for him, at least," Tidus shrugged.

"So, for me? What should _I_ do?" Cloud asked, beginning to step side-ways across from Tidus; they circled each other, weapons held at the ready.

"The same. You have to find something that grounds you. Something that helps you separate those manikins from what's real," Tidus explained.

"Right."

"So, if I was a manikin, and I was right here..." Tidus started.

He charged at Cloud, but stopped right in front of him, their faces only inches apart. Cloud swallowed, cheeks warming at the closeness; the slight smirk on Tidus' face made him suspect that Tidus was enjoying that small distance between them.

"Mm-hmm?" Cloud managed.

"And I look and talk like someone you know, what are you gonna do?" Tidus tested.

Cloud closed his eyes, and reached into the depths of his mind for some memory that would help him were he faced with another clone of Zack or Aerith. His mind raced through their times together, through good and bad. He thought of their laughter, and of their death, but neither the pleasant nor dreadful memories stood out to him as a definite trigger. There was nothing strong enough to drag him away from the lies that those manikins would tell him. He knew he wouldn't stand a chance if they were to speak to him the way the false Zack had, with his endearing words and offers to end Cloud's suffering.

"I don't know," Cloud spoke up, eyes drifting slowly open, and meeting Tidus' with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I don't know."

"Come on. There's got to be something," Tidus smiled, gently. "Maybe you could ask them a question? And if they don't know the answer, then you'll know they're not real."

Cloud thought about that for a second, and pondered what he might ask, but his gut told him such methods wouldn't work.

"I don't think so," Cloud shook his head, shamefully. "I'm... I'm afraid I'll freeze up. Forget how to speak. Besides, I'm not totally sure if the manikins' voices come from Chaos, or our own heads."

"That's true," Tidus frowned, a hand on his chin as he thought about it. "Alright, then, let's try some improv. If I'm Zack, and I'm here saying—"

"No, stop!" Cloud nearly shouted, turning away. Tidus stumbled back a step or two, startled by Cloud's sudden movement.

"Y-you're not him," Cloud uttered, voice low. He stood with his back to Tidus, and slowly raised a hand to his forehead.

"I-I know. I wasn't actually trying to— Cloud, are you okay?" Tidus tried, voice quiet and cautious. It took a moment or two before Cloud released a heavy breath, his arm falling wearily back down to his side.

"I'm just not ready."

"Oh. Alright," Tidus said, voice barely above a whisper. "Well, we can try again some other time if you—"

"Some other time. Maybe," Cloud nodded.

He could feel the tension in the air behind him. He knew he'd scared Tidus a little, and it was no wonder. It wasn't often he lashed out like that; it seemed it was only ever when Zack was involved that he lost his cool. _Damn_ , Cloud muttered to himself. _Why can't I just let go?_

"I'm sorry," Tidus said, slowly. "I shouldn't have said—"

"It just hurts," Cloud replied, before Tidus could finish. He turned his head slightly to catch a glimpse of the young man behind him. "Sometimes it hurts too much to think about the past."

He half-expected Tidus would leave after that, to utter a soft apology and walk sorrowfully away, but instead, his footsteps grew louder as he approached; they were slow, but steady, and before long, Cloud felt a hand on his shoulder. He immediately closed his eyes, and focused on the comfort of the contact.

"I know. I get it," Tidus assured him. "I think sometimes I get so focused on trying to help you, I get carried away and end up saying too much. In the end, though, I... I'm only trying to help, and I'll try to be more careful."

Tidus' voice was so meek, like he was afraid to speak any louder for fear of upsetting Cloud. Cloud supposed he couldn't blame him.

"Okay," was all Cloud could say.

"What do you say we ditch the training for now? If we have another run-in with one of those things, I'll protect you, okay? Just like last time."

Cloud could hear the smile in Tidus' voice, but he sure didn't feel this was the time for smiling. Cloud spun around to face Tidus, the vision of the Tidus from Cloud's dream pushing its way back into the foreground. He swallowed hard, trying to ignore the image of Tidus' bloodied body that burned into his mind. As he stared at Tidus' wounded shoulder, all he could think about was his safety.

"You shouldn't take risks like that. You could get hurt," he reminded the boy. Tidus shrugged.

"Worked out okay last time."

"What about when Kuja attacked Yuna?" Cloud asked, eyeing Tidus' shoulder with a sudden fierceness. Tidus shrunk under his focused gaze, and put a hand over his injury.

"So, yeah, I got a little hurt that time, but—"

"Tidus—"

Cloud blinked as Tidus' lips pressed against his own. He tried to relax against them, just as he had a few hours before in the tent, but this time, his body just wouldn't let him. His weary mind was kicking in again, reminding him of the reasons he'd feared this relationship in the first place.

Tidus pulled away from the kiss, and stared at Cloud with an unsettled look in his eyes. He'd felt that that kiss had been different than the last, just as Cloud did. There was no mutuality, no support, no comfort. It was empty, pained.

"Cloud, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say," Tidus said, voice still dreadfully quiet.

"It's fine," Cloud said, lowering his eyes. He felt Tidus reach for his hands.

"You okay?" Tidus tried, once more, his fingers grazing Cloud's lightly.

"Tidus, if you stay with me, you might get hurt. People near me... usually do." Cloud hated having to say those words, but felt it was only right to warn him.

"I'm willing to take that chance," Tidus smiled, softly, but Cloud couldn't help but think this was just a game to him, that he didn't understand the severity of the situation.

"Well... I don't know if _I'm_ willing to _let_ you," Cloud barely whispered. He felt Tidus' hands tense a little around his own. They stood there for several seconds, their breathing the only thing interrupting the silence.

"I don't know. I don't know what to think," Cloud sighed, turning to walk away.

"Heading back to camp?" Tidus asked.

"Yeah," came Cloud's simple reply. Tidus trotted along behind him, his sword dragging in the dirt, causing dust clouds to form. Tidus glanced down at them as he followed his companion, unable to keep a sickly feeling from settling his stomach.

* * *

Cecil had taken his night-shift until Tidus and Cloud returned, but Tidus insisted Cecil go back inside and catch a few more hours of shut-eye, as Tidus was sure he wasn't going to sleep after such upheaval with Cloud anyway.

Cloud had wordlessly shut himself away in their tent, cursing himself for being such a coward. Tidus had become an irreplaceable and dear friend to him, and he cared about him in ways he couldn't fully explain, but Cloud was terrified that the good would not outweigh the bad, that the risks of loss and hurt would steer him away from Tidus.

For a long time, Cloud simply sat in the tent as the sun began to rise, and mulled over his thoughts. The pleasant ones, the sad ones, the ones that scared him, but he soon found that he couldn't settle anything on his own. He stood up, and headed outside, intending to seek out the advice of the only person who stood a chance of calming his nerves.

He was disappointed when he found Tidus curled up by the fire, asleep. Cloud bit his lip, debating his next move. He'd wished Tidus would listen to his worries, and lessen them with his soothing words; Cloud knew he would still do so were he to wake him, but he didn't have the heart to disturb his slumber. He looked so innocent, and so peaceful, and Cloud wasn't sure whether it was fair to drag Tidus down yet again with his trivial fears.

Cloud hesitated for a moment, trying to decide on his next move, but soon proceeded towards Tidus' sleeping form. He sat down on the ground next to him and let a hand slink up Tidus' back. His thumb brushed lightly over the material of his shirt, and Cloud simply stared at his companion's sleeping face. He looked so relaxed, his blue eyes concealed beneath his lightly shut lids, his lips curled into the softest of smiles. Cloud didn't know how easy it would be to look away, even if he'd wanted to, but part of him feared it would be the right thing to do.

He knew it would hurt Tidus were he to leave. Tidus would be devastated, but at least he would be safe—safer than he would be if Cloud was around. Even with the manikins and lingering feelings for Zack aside, Chaos most likely had an eye on Cloud now, a wish to take him down since he had defeated Sephiroth. There were still several Chaos warriors out there, just waiting to destroy them. They were surrounded by danger.

It wasn't even that Cloud wasn't used to danger—he most definitely was—but his concerns were for Tidus, because to be frank, Tidus was reckless. He ran into situations without thinking. Cloud had always trusted him in battle, but accidents happened easily, especially with people like Tidus who had a tendency to jump into the fray. Cloud thought back to the night when Kuja had attacked, and he'd had to prevent Tidus from bleeding to death. Something like that could easily happen again, and Cloud didn't want to be the one hampering Tidus' judgement, like Yuna had been that night.

It was risks like that that Cloud couldn't stand Tidus taking. It would only take one slip-up to make Cloud's sickening dream a reality. He didn't want Tidus to get hurt protecting him; after what had happened to Zack, putting himself in harm's way for Cloud's sake was the most painful thing Tidus could ever do to him.

Cloud tried not to let himself dwell on the negatives, but they kept spreading through his mind like wildfire, illuminating deterrents that he didn't normally consider. Like earlier, when Tidus had mentioned Zack so carelessly during their training; it was fairly common for Tidus to say things without taking the time to contemplate their effect. Cloud knew Tidus was trying his best to figure him out, and provide the support Cloud needed, but right now, those attempts to dig into Cloud's past were too painful.

Yes, in time, perhaps Tidus could provide comfort—he already did—but there would also be times when he said the wrong thing, when he would set Cloud off with a word about his deceased friends or a question about a past Cloud didn't want to discuss. If that was the case, then Cloud would hurt. And wasn't he hurting enough already?

Hurt. That was what love was all about, wasn't it? If Cloud let himself get further involved with Tidus, he wouldn't be the only one experiencing such pain. The closer they became, the more it would hurt to let go. And what if they had to? What if the relationship didn't work out? Or worse, what if something more dire separated them?

And what about Zack? Cloud just couldn't forget his earlier nightmare, the searing sensation of Zack's heartache. If there was even a chance that Zack truly did feel betrayed by him being with Tidus, then surely he couldn't continue down this road. And the words Sephiroth had spoken to him during his sleep... Cloud hated that they held some truth. Trouble did follow him. He feared it always would.

There were so many things that could go wrong were he and Tidus to stay together, and Cloud felt he was barely touching the surface of the threats they faced. The closeness had been amazing, but there were risks involved that Cloud felt he just couldn't take.

Cloud rose to his feet and headed for the tent again, hating himself as he began to wrap up his bedroll. He bit his bottom lip to stop his emotions from spilling out. He thought back to how kind Tidus had been all along, to his comforting smile, to the kisses they had shared earlier that evening. Those kisses. Had Cloud known they would be their last as well as their first, he would have made a better point of memorizing them.

Once he'd finished with the bedroll, he gathered up his bag and sword, placing them on his back before leaving the tent once more. He glanced at Firion and Cecil's tent, knowing they would be disappointed to know he had left. Cloud walked over to Tidus once more and knelt down next to him. He trailed a hand through Tidus' hair, and leaned over him, bravely planting a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Thank you, Tidus," he whispered. "And, I'm sorry."

Cloud clambered to his feet once more, giving one last glance at his most valued companion before turning away. Four steps, and he heard a quiet voice behind him.

"Cloud?" Tidus asked. Cloud turned around to see Tidus prop himself up on one arm, watching curiously. Cloud suppressed a sigh, not wanting to have to face a confrontation with him. He hoped he could avoid it, but didn't think it was likely.

"What's up?" Tidus asked.

"I was just checking on you," Cloud replied, returning to Tidus' side, and staring down at him. His smiling face only made Cloud's heart ache more—apparently, it took more than a little kerfuffle to stop Tidus from flashing that gentle grin, even when Cloud deserved his anger.

"Thanks. Guess I shoulda let Cecil finish his shift after all. I just didn't think I'd fall asleep again, so I— Wait," Tidus said, and Cloud knew he had noticed the gear on his back.

"Where are you going?" Tidus asked, a look of concern growing on his face.

"For a walk," Cloud replied.

"A walk? With all of your gear?" Tidus' incredulous look immediately convinced Cloud that he would have to tell him the truth, though he dreaded it. He heaved a sigh and crouched down beside his friend.

"Tidus, I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Go? Go where?" Tidus asked, bolting to sit up, and giving Cloud a worried look.

"I'm not really sure yet," Cloud answered, shaking his head.

"Okay, let's try another question. _Why_?" Tidus' voice was shaking slightly.

Cloud hesitated, trying hard to figure out how to break the news to Tidus without completely shattering him. Several seconds passed, and Tidus spoke before Cloud had come up with an answer.

"This is about the kiss, right? You regret it?" he asked, swallowing hard.

"No," Cloud answered quickly, shaking his head. "I don't regret it at all."

"What then? You just changed your mind? Thought about it some more and decided you don't want this?" Tidus' voice was growing fierce.

"No, that's not it. I... I had a dream, and it just... brought everything back. All those worries I had," Cloud tried to explain, but he knew how naive he sounded in that moment.

"So, you're leaving because of a dream?" Tidus asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"It's not just that. Please, I need you to listen," Cloud said slowly, and Tidus immediately backed off, shutting his mouth and letting Cloud have the floor.

"I'm thankful for having you by my side all this time, but I think there's always going to be a part of me that's too scared to let anything more happen between us. Getting over Zack, putting you in harm's way... These are things that still terrify me," Cloud explained.

Tidus sat up and took Cloud's hands in his own, and Cloud almost looked like he was in pain when he did so.

"I get it. You're scared, but I'm right here. Let me help you," Tidus said, his blue eyes begging Cloud to trust him, to stay with him.

"Tidus, I can't."

"Cloud!"

"I can't," Cloud insisted. "I think it's better if I just... go it alone."

Tidus stared into Cloud's shining blue eyes; they were so full of pain. He understood what Cloud was saying, but something in those eyes made him think Cloud didn't fully want this. He didn't want things to end so soon.

"But if you're alone... What kind of life is that?" Tidus asked, weakly.

"A safe one," Cloud replied, his voice surprisingly confident. Too confident. It broke Tidus' heart to hear how serious he was, how he didn't even have to think about his response.

Tidus shivered at the cold that seeped from his heart, through his veins, down his arms. He stared at Cloud for a long moment, and let Cloud's hands fall out of his own. Cloud watched him as he rose to his feet, his lips curling downwards as if he might cry, but Cloud knew he was stronger than that.

"Tidus, I wish I had the strength and the courage to be with you. But right now, I just don't," Cloud said, voice weakening as he spoke. "I thought I did, but... Maybe we were just moving too fast." His head fell, eyes far from Tidus'. A soft, bitter chuckle escaped Tidus' lips.

"Do you realize that after every fight, you come back and let me get just a little closer to you?" Tidus asked, his eyes flickering up to stare at the sky. "I just kept thinking it would work out if I kept waiting." His gaze came back down and met Cloud's.

"But if you're serious about leaving now, then I can't keep waiting," Tidus told him, his voice firm, though his stern expression was weakening. Cloud swallowed hard before replying.

"That's probably a good thing."

"What?" Tidus asked, weakly, stumbling back a few steps.

"You should move on," Cloud told him.

He could feel his heart breaking, and Tidus' along with it. He knew he had to be harsh, otherwise Tidus would follow him to the ends of the earth. Tidus looked so taken aback, so shocked that Cloud would actually let him go. It took him a while to regain some sort of composure, and when he did, he stuffed a hand into his pocket and withdrew something, keeping it concealed in the palm of his hand.

"You know, I was going to give you this in honour of us finally getting along so well, but forget it. Keep it as a goodbye present instead," Tidus muttered, whiffing the object in Cloud's direction. Cloud put an arm up to block it, causing it to fall to the ground as Tidus stormed off.

Cloud knelt down and carefully collected what turned out to be a silver earring. He stared as it as he stood back up, and his heart sank. It was crafted into the same symbol that Tidus wore around his neck and on his clothing. Cloud could tell he had made it himself, as its metallic edges were full of tiny imperfections. He figured Tidus must have had some help making it, as he doubted he would have learned those sorts of skills in the modern city of Zanarkand, or even in Spira.

Cloud closed his eyes and clenched his fist with the small earring inside it, wishing with all his heart that the heavens would open up and swallow him; at the very least, he wished they would tell him whether or not he was doing the right thing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ...Please don't hate me! Aren't you glad I gave you a nice long break between the last chapter and this one? So you could enjoy their togetherness for a bit? Awww, I'm sorry Cloud's being such a coward! And some other colorful words that I'll avoid using;D But, don't give up hope yet. Their journey is far from over!
> 
> So, as a way to ease the pain for this awful chapter ending, I've created a little present. I got XPS/Xnalara last week and have been experimenting a bit with them/Photoshop/Unity. I decided to try and recreate Tidus & Cloud's first kiss from the previous chapter:) You can see it on my tumblr blog (dedicated to the wonderful Tidus and Cloud, of course) here: clidusshrine.tumblr.com/image/118318959299
> 
> Enjoy, and feel free to leave a comment about the chapter/picture. It always helps to keep me motivated, and I love hearing from fellow T/C fans! We are few, but strong!


	18. Wrecked

**Chapter 18: Wrecked**

The dirt felt harder than usual beneath Cloud's feet. Even the night's warm breeze seemed to send a chill through him. He wrapped his arms around himself as he walked, hoping to take the edge off the cold, but he knew this feeling was all internal. Every step he took brought him one step further away from Tidus, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it.

He'd lost count of how many times he'd almost turned around, intending to return with a string of his sincerest apologies, and he had to keep reminding himself why he'd left in the first place—reasons that seemed more and more like excuses the more he thought about them. With a deep breath, Cloud forced himself to trudge forward, his grip tightening around himself for extra warmth, but thoughts of Tidus continued to fill his mind, piercing him with an even more penetrating cold.

Cloud wanted Tidus to be safe and sound, far away from the dangers that he had to face, but now that the initial trauma of his nightmare had worn off, he found himself questioning whether his reasons for leaving were good enough. There was danger everywhere, dangers that Tidus would have to face alone now, without Cloud's aid. Not to mention, even if he kept his distance, Cloud's guilty conscience would never let up; whether his heart belonged to Zack or to Tidus, Cloud feared he would always be hurting someone, and that he would feel sorry for whoever he left in the dark. And as much as it pained him to admit, wouldn't it be better to share his love with the living?

To be quite honest, Cloud felt a bit stupid after having taken off the way he had, especially when it seemed he had started to figure out how to be okay again, how to live with Tidus beside him and not have regrets, but of course, that victory had been short-lived. It was mostly the dream that had scared him away, that had made his worries resurface. A horrible dream, but still...

Cloud felt his mind travel back to the first part of his vivid nightmare, the part with Zack and Aerith. He knew what it meant; it was his brain reminding him that getting involved with Tidus could sever his ties to Zack, and Cloud still felt he owed Zack so much. He had forgotten Zack once, and he'd sworn—to himself, to Zack, to the whole damn planet—that he would never let it happen again.

Cloud would never let Zack stray too far from his mind because he refused to let his existence become a memory, lost and forgotten with time, but Cloud tried to convince himself that that would never happen. Zack would always be a part of him, a part of his heart and his very being. Regardless of what happened in this life or the afterlife, whether Zack was aware of it or not, he would always remain Cloud's beloved partner and friend. And when Cloud thought back to what Tidus had said—when he'd told him that Zack wouldn't have wanted him to be alone in this life—he found himself wanting so badly to believe it; he'd believed it once. Could he do it again?

Cloud released a sigh of defeat. So many entangled emotions, so many doubts and dreams, but no clear sense of direction. He wanted to return to Tidus. He did, and yet, he didn't. He thought it would be the right thing to do, but at the same time, he doubted it.

"Heya, Cloud!" Cloud spun around to see who had interrupted his thoughts, and was a little relieved to see Bartz and Squall strolling up behind him. Bartz was waving at him, wildly, a sprightly grin on his face. Squall looked as stoic as ever as he walked alongside his cheery companion.

"Good to see you again, Bartz," Cloud greeted, though his voice remained as monotonous as ever.

"Cloud," Squall greeted, giving him a nod.

"Squall," Cloud nodded back.

"You sure don't like keeping company, do you?" Bartz asked, hands on his hips, bending over as if he were looking for some small companion that Cloud was hiding. Cloud lowered his head, ashamed that he had been caught on his own.

"I was... actually going to head back to camp," Cloud lied.

"Are you set up near here?" Squall asked.

"Well, it's a bit of a distance," Cloud told him, glancing back in the direction he'd come. Bartz caught his eye when he turned back, and Cloud was sure Bartz suspected something was off.

"Where's Zidane?" Cloud spoke up again, hoping to divert attention away from himself.

"The little guy went off on his own. Kuja showed up again, and Zidane said he had to fight him before someone else got hurt," Bartz answered.

Cloud swallowed hard, remembering what had happened to Tidus that night, then of Chaos' intentions to defeat each of Cosmos' warriors when they were alone. He found himself suddenly sick with worry for Zidane, and it showed.

"Don't worry, Cloud. We've just got to have a little faith in 'im," Bartz grinned. Cloud forced a nod and a strained half-smile, but it quickly dwindled.

"Bartz, we should think about setting up camp," Squall spoke up.

"Yeah, you're right," Bartz said, giving his friend a nod, then he turned his attention to Cloud, who was glancing at the early morning sky in confusion. "We were walking all night," Bartz explained.

"Oh. Why?" Cloud asked.

"We spotted Jecht and Kefka a little ways back and figured we'd better put as much distance between us and them as we could," Bartz replied, then his mouth perked into a quizzical smile. "Why are _you_ travelling so early?" he queried. Cloud's head fell a little and he gave a shrug.

"I needed a little space, but I was about to head back, like I said," Cloud told him.

"If it's far, you shouldn't head back right now. You look frozen," Bartz said, eyeing Cloud's posture. That was when Cloud realized he was still hugging himself. He let his arms fall to his sides.

"I'm fine," he assured his companion.

"Why don't you use one of our tents? Squall and I can share," Bartz smiled.

"No, I should really get back," Cloud said, casting another glance down the path that would lead him back to Tidus. Still, he wasn't sure if he actually _wanted_ to take that path, but he didn't want to have to explain why he'd run off in the first place. It was easier to pretend he hadn't been leaving for good.

"Fine, then we're going with you," Bartz announced, triumphantly, his hands rising to rest on his hips once more. Squall frowned at him.

"We are?" he asked.

"Of course, we are. I'm not letting Cloud outta my sight when he looks like _that_ ," Bartz said, making Cloud's head fall even further towards the ground. Cloud figured he must have looked as bad as he felt. He stared at Bartz and Squall for a long moment, and when he accepted that Bartz wasn't about to change his mind, he let out a sigh and turned around.

"Camp is back this way." The words had barely escaped Cloud's mouth when the first droplet of water fell from the sky. He blinked as it landed on his nose, and he glanced upward. The sun was tucked behind white-grey clouds.

"Let's hurry," Cloud said, leading the others as the rain continued down.

* * *

It wasn't long before the rain prevented them from going any further. They were becoming too cold and soaked, and with Bartz and Squall already tired, they decided to turn in. Cloud couldn't complain too much. He was in need of a good sleep himself. They assembled the tents as quickly as they could, and Cloud excused himself as he took shelter from the downpour.

As Cloud lay inside the tent, his thoughts wandered back to Tidus, and he decided that this time apart might not be a bad thing. It would give him some time to think about what he would say when he faced Tidus again, and it would give Tidus some time to cool down. He hoped that when the rain cleared off, and they were able to face each other again, they would both have some clarity about the situation.

Cloud heard movement outside the tent, and he lifted his head up, expecting to catch sight of one of his companions' silhouettes, but with the sun nowhere in sight, it was impossible. His only clue was a light tapping on the outside of his tent. Cloud assumed it was Bartz. He was right.

"Can I come in?" Bartz asked.

"Sure," Cloud replied, sitting up as his companion entered. Bartz zipped the tent closed behind him with slender hands, and took a couple of steps forward before kneeling down.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and analyzing Cloud as best he could. Cloud frowned a little.

"Fine. Is Squall...?"

"He's asleep. Don't worry. So, everything's alright with you and Tidus?" Bartz asked. Cloud's eyes widened at the question, and he cleared his throat, uncomfortably.

"What? Um, what... do you mean?" Cloud questioned, trying to avoid jumping to conclusions.

"You two are getting along?" Bartz tried again.

"D-do you know something?" Cloud asked, hesitance in his voice, eyes wary. Bartz fidgeted a little, his mouth turning upward in short bursts.

"I _might_ know something," he shrugged, innocently. Cloud gave a sigh, and proceeded to lower his head. He sure didn't want to admit what he'd done, how he'd messed things up. When he was unable to form an answer, Bartz spoke again.

"Last I saw you, you were telling everyone you wanted to travel with him, and the fact that he's not here with you kinda worries me."

"I told you I was heading back to camp. Tidus is there," Cloud spoke up, but his head remained so low that Bartz couldn't make eye contact.

"You're sure everything's alright?" Bartz attempted again, his grey irises focused so hard on trying to decipher Cloud's closed-off expression. Cloud was silent, and Bartz gave a sigh before standing up.

"I'm sorry. It's none of my business. I was just sort of hoping it would work out, for both your sakes," he said, and Cloud could hear how genuinely he cared.

" _It_?" Cloud repeated, raising a suspicious brow. He wanted to make sure he and Bartz were on the same page before he ended up revealing too much.

"Tidus really likes you. You know that," Bartz smiled, softly. "I would have liked to see something happen between you two, that's all."

There was so much honesty in Bartz's eyes. Cloud was stunned by how non-judgemental he was. Bartz shrugged again, looking a little apologetic for invading. Cloud watched as Bartz headed for the tent door, and he summoned the courage to speak.

"Actually, Bartz, I— I'm a little lost when it comes to sorting out— I mean, I think I might have made a mistake, but I..." Bartz turned back around to face Cloud, but didn't feel welcome to sit down again until Cloud had motioned for him to do so.

"What happened?" Bartz asked, sitting down, and tucking his knees underneath himself. His eyes fixed themselves once again on Cloud, whose gaze flew restlessly around the tent. Cloud's hands were clasped tightly together, and it took him a long time to force any words out.

"It's a long story," Cloud sighed, not knowing where to begin, or how much he wanted to say. "Bartz, have you ever tried to be something... that you just don't know how to be?"

"Um, I'm not sure," Bartz said, with a sheepish smile, his shoulders rising and falling in one quick motion.

"I just feel like Tidus is expecting me to be there for him, and I don't know how to do it. I don't want to let him down, but I don't know if I'm even still capable of caring for someone that way, and I'm scared of what will happen if I do. Scared for me, scared for him, and..."

Cloud trailed off before Zack's name made its way into his explanation. He knew better than anyone how vulnerable one could become when under love's spell. He'd come to intimately know that feeling that day outside Midgar, when it felt as if his own very heart had stopped beating the second Zack's had.

"Yeah?" Bartz's eyes were sad, yet they silently pleaded with Cloud to continue on.

"I guess what it comes down to is I'm not strong enough."

"What do you mean? You like Tidus, but something's stopping you?" Bartz asked, recognizing that Cloud was having some trouble explaining.

"Well, yeah. Something—er, _lots_ of things. And I still don't think I know... how I feel about him, exactly."

"Really? Even after all this time?" Bartz asked, cocking his head to the side with a slight frown.

"I-I mean," Cloud stuttered. "I know I _care_ for him. I know I _worry_ about him, especially when it comes to Chaos' forces. But more than that? I'm not sure. I think I do. But maybe, more than anything, I'm just lonely."

"Cloud," Bartz said, softly, eyes even more melancholy than before. Cloud looked up just long enough to notice his expression.

"Don't give me that look. I'm fine," Cloud assured him, pulling his knees up to his chest. Bartz scooted forward a little, showing Cloud he was still devoted to the conversation.

"I don't know what happened in your past, Cloud. I don't think many of us do, but you've been hurt, right? I can imagine how hard it must be to ignore that little voice in your head, always telling you that bad things are gonna follow, but I don't think you can let that stop you," Bartz said, pinpointing Cloud's thoughts without even having to be told. Cloud gulped back a shocked noise, and bit his lip.

"Good stuff's gotta find you sometimes too, right?" Bartz smiled, gently.

"Who knows. Bartz, I don't want anyone to get hurt. And with me, it wouldn't really be such a surprise. All my life, I haven't had such good luck," Cloud divulged, swallowing hard in hopes of pushing those horrid memories back down inside himself. After a few seconds, he let out a sigh, and a sad chuckle.

"I'm a coward. Feels like no matter what I do, I'm gonna let someone down. Maybe I should have at least explained that to Tidus," Cloud said, his voice getting softer and softer, knowing he'd probably lost Bartz somewhere along the way. Bartz tried to catch Cloud's gaze, but couldn't.

"What happened?" Bartz tried once more. Finally, Cloud looked up.

"I told Tidus I had to leave. And I did."

There was a moment of silence before either one came up with anything more to say. Bartz tried hard to think of some advice, but couldn't come up with anything good. He gave up trying to plan ahead, and just started talking.

"Well, maybe it's not too late. Maybe you can patch things up," Bartz grinned.

"Part of me wants to, but I just... I feel so stupid for running off like that. I can't imagine what Tidus must think of me right now," Cloud replied, shaking his head in frustration.

"I'm sure Tidus will understand if you talk to him," Bartz told him, trying to give him another encouraging smile. Cloud didn't reply.

"What's wrong?" Bartz asked.

"I don't know how he'll react. I know I really hurt him," Cloud explained, closing his eyes.

"Well, if you're serious about going back, then you just have to make sure he knows that you care about him and want to give this another try," Bartz replied. Silence struck again, but Cloud was the first to break it this time.

"Bartz?" Cloud asked, voice uncertain.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that going back is the right thing to do?" Cloud's words were coming out so very slowly.

"If you think you feel something for him, then yeah," Bartz answered. His expression was serious, which was a sight Cloud wasn't used to. Cloud released a heavy sigh, and shook his head, tiredly.

"Despite the risks? If something bad came out of this, I don't know what I'd do," Cloud replied, weakly, his tone solemn. He shoved a hand through his hair, out of embarrassment and distress.

"Well, what means more to you? 'Cause the way I see it, you've got two options. You could risk the possibility of danger while keeping Tidus in your life, or you could close yourself off to keep your heart safe," Bartz stated.

Cloud looked up and stared at Bartz for a long moment. He was shocked that Bartz had figured him out so well. Perhaps Tidus had told him something about him a while back. Or maybe Cloud didn't hide his emotions as well as he thought he did. He certainly seemed to be off his game lately, with Zidane and Tidus effortlessly pinning down his emotions as well. Cloud let out a deep breath, and stared down at his sleeping bag for several long seconds before speaking up again.

"Even when I try to close myself off... some things still manage to get through. Tidus is one of those things that seems to be able to reach me, and for some reason, I no longer mind. I'm glad he can," Cloud explained, his heart pounding as he said these things aloud.

He was thankful that Bartz was such a compassionate person. He wouldn't have talked about this with just anyone, but he trusted Bartz; he had ever since Bartz had learned of his feelings for Zack, and had responded only with the sincerest of support and praise.

"Well, it sounds like you have your answer right there," Bartz beamed.

"But, if I lose him..."

"You won't if you're there to protect him. I don't really think that'll be necessary, though. You and I both know that Tidus is smart, even if he is a bit of a goof sometimes. And he's a pretty handy swordsman, too," Bartz grinned, standing up and brushing the invisible dirt off his clothes. Cloud's gaze was nowhere near his own now, and he gave a sigh. Cloud sure wasn't easily convinced.

"In the end, it's your decision, but guys like Tidus don't come around every day. Years from now, are you gonna regret it if you don't take this chance with him?" Bartz asked.

Cloud's eyes widened, and he immediately looked up to meet Bartz's gaze. It was obvious to him now why he actually liked talking to Bartz: Bartz had a way of making everything so clear.

"Bartz, you sure know how to make a guy think," Cloud half-smiled, his head falling timidly downward. "Thanks."

Bartz simply smiled.

"No problem. See you in a bit, pal. We'll have you back in Tidus' arms before you know it," he promised, his grin increasing. Cloud forced an awkward chuckle as Bartz exited, then he lay back down and took several deep breaths as he stared at the ceiling of the tent. _Yeah, maybe everything will_ _be fine._

* * *

"I know it was around here somewhere," Cloud frowned, glancing around in all directions for some sign of his companions' tents. With the area being as open as it was, though, Cloud was beginning to worry that the group had moved on; otherwise, he would have been able to see evidence of their campsite.

"Don't worry. We'll keep looking," Bartz assured him, taking a few steps to the east and looking around as far as he could see. Unfortunately, the fog had rolled in early that afternoon, which had only made searching for the others a more difficult task.

Cloud had had butterflies in his stomach the whole walk here. He was returning to Tidus without a plan of what he would say, or a decision on what he would do even if they could patch things up. If it wasn't for Bartz's incessant nudging, he wasn't sure if he would have even made it this far.

"Do you hear something?" Squall asked, causing the other two men to stay very still. After a few seconds, they heard a metallic sound, like armour, or weapons.

"Hello?" Bartz called out, but Squall immediately threw a hand over his mouth to silence him. Bartz stared at him with wide eyes, obviously confused.

"Do you want all of Chaos to know we're here?" Squall muttered. Bartz pulled Squall's hand away from his mouth and opened and closed his jaw a few times to make sure it was still working properly.

"Sorry," Bartz whispered.

"Bartz, is that you?" a voice asked, from somewhere within the fog. Cloud recognized it immediately.

"Firion?" he asked, just to make sure.

"Yes, I'm here," Firion replied. Both parties followed each other's voices until they reached each other. Bartz and Squall were relieved to have come face-to-face with Firion, but Cloud still looked distraught.

"Are you troubled, Cloud?" Firion asked, but Cloud ignored the question completely.

"Where are Tidus and Cecil?" Cloud questioned, eyeing a pile of gear a few feet behind Firion—too much gear for Firion to be carrying on his own.

"Tidus and Cecil went to dispose of the logs from last night's fire. We didn't want to leave any trails."

"And you stayed behind?" Squall asked.

"Yes, so we would not lose our way. This place is like a wasteland," Firion explained, eyeing his barren surroundings.

"When will they be back?" Cloud asked, sounding so serious that Firion was a little concerned.

"I expect they will return any minute. They were only going far enough to throw off any pursuers were they to find the remains of the fire," Firion replied.

"Don't worry, Cloud. They'll be fine," Bartz grinned, throwing an arm around Cloud's neck. He could feel Cloud's tension, his desire to shake him off, but Bartz chuckled to himself for a moment before letting go of his friend.

"Have you seen any enemies nearby?" Squall asked.

"None so far," Firion replied, with a shake of his head. The group turned around to stare into the fog as voices began to emerge from the north. They didn't fret, as the sound of Tidus' voice carried well, assuring them that there was no danger.

"Why did the chocobo cross the road?" Tidus asked.

"I am not sure I understand the question," Cecil replied.

"To get to the other side! Get it?" Tidus laughed, as the two emerged from the fog.

"Hey, guys!" Bartz shouted, waving to them. Tidus stared at him, then at Squall and Firion, then at Cloud. The smile fell from his face, and he tried not to be bothered by the sudden dread that filled his body as he and Cecil proceeded toward the rest of the group.

"Good to have you back. Were you successful?" Firion asked.

"Yeah, no problem," Tidus replied, an unusual solemnness in his voice that everyone could detect.

Firion suspected that Cloud had somehow caused this sudden change in his mood. After Cloud had just disappeared—at least, that's what Tidus had told him had happened—Tidus had seemed distant and sad, but as the day had gone on, he had bounced back to his usual self. So, Firion could only assume that they had had a falling out, and that his now melancholy mood was caused by Cloud's return.

"Are we ready to head out, Firion?" Cecil asked.

"I believe we are," Firion nodded. He, Cecil, and Tidus gathered their belongings from the ground, and adjusted them on their backs.

"Do you mind if we travel with you guys for a while?" Bartz asked.

"Not at all. The more the merrier. I imagine, at this time, it's safer as well," Firion smiled. He saw Tidus give a quick look in Cloud's direction; if he didn't know better, he would have sworn it was a glare.

Cloud caught the look Tidus was giving him, and he suddenly felt so small. He knew he had to fix things. He couldn't stand the possibility that he had fallen from Tidus' good graces, that Tidus had developed a hatred for him.

Bartz and Squall helped the others with their gear, offering to carry some of it themselves. When Cloud saw Tidus struggling to get the straps of his bedroll on his shoulders correctly, he rushed to his side and helped him straighten them out. He could see Tidus' piercing gaze out of the corner of his eye.

"I don't need your help," Tidus muttered, in a voice so low only Cloud could hear it.

"Tidus, can we talk?" Cloud asked him, his hand lingering on the strap that covered Tidus' strong shoulder.

"Yeah, whatever. Just not right now. We need to get moving," Tidus replied, clearly annoyed. With that, he pulled away from Cloud's touch and fell into marching order with the others. Cloud watched him for a moment, a pang in his heart as he ran to catch up with the rest of the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks soooooo much for the feedback/favs, guys! You make my day! Glad so many of you are sticking with and enjoying the story! Until next time:D


	19. Faithless

**Chapter 19: Faithless**

It took the group three days to make their way out of the barren terrain and back into a more luscious environment. They quickly found themselves in familiar surroundings. Tidus was the first to recognize that they were near the lake where Sephiroth and Cloud had duelled, but Cloud had no desire to approach the area any further. Ready to call it a day, the troops set up camp. Tidus managed to slip away unnoticed, and it wasn't until the tents had been fully assembled that the group realized they were short a party member.

"Where's Tidus?" Bartz asked, looking around for some sign of him. Cloud's heart sunk at those words, and he, too, began scanning the area for him, albeit a bit more frantically than Bartz.

"He probably just needed a little space. He's not been himself lately," Firion spoke up; it certainly didn't help to calm Cloud's nerves, especially when he had been so violently attacked during their last visit to the area.

"Should someone go look for him?" Squall asked, though it didn't sound like he was eager to volunteer.

Cloud felt the words leap into his mouth, and he wanted to say he would be the one to search, but he wasn't sure it was a wise idea. When Bartz caught his eye, however, Cloud thought twice about it. Bartz gave him a wave, coaxing him a few steps away from the others as Cecil and Firion discussed the matter amongst themselves.

"You should go," Bartz said, voice quiet. "It's a good opportunity to talk."

"I know," Cloud said, swallowing hard.

The past few days had been devastating. Having Tidus act so coldly toward him made Cloud's heart ache in ways he had never even known were possible. He felt hollow without Tidus, sad and alone, and those feelings that he'd been uncertain about were becoming clearer and clearer to him. He most definitely did feel something for Tidus—his pulse raced when their eyes met, his stomach flipped with excitement when Tidus spoke, and there was a constant desire in his heart for Tidus to speak to him gently and hold him like the night he'd told him he loved him. Ever since Tidus had become angry with him—now that he knew he couldn't have Tidus for his own—those feelings had grown stronger.

There was a gap in Cloud's heart—there had been for years now—but Cloud had realized something over the last three days: he wanted that gap to be filled, but not by just anyone. He wanted _Tidus_ to fill it. He knew it would be painful, and it wouldn't be easy by any means, but he didn't want to spend his life wishing he had given things another try. Tidus cared about him, deeply and unconditionally, and Cloud didn't want to risk losing that; instead, he wanted to reciprocate it, and make Tidus feel just as special as he did whenever they were together.

"I'll go," Cloud finally announced. "I have a hunch where he is," he said, catching the attention of the others.

"Sure thing," Bartz answered, with a wink.

"Do be careful, Cloud," Firion added.

Away went Cloud, the Buster Sword heavy on his back as he made his way toward the foreboding lake. He suspected Tidus would come here. It was where Cloud had stitched up his shoulder, where they had had their almost-kiss, where Cloud had broken his heart once before.

Cloud was able to relax some when he approached and saw Tidus sitting peacefully with his back to him, his gaze fixed on the rippling water in front of him. The grass crunched beneath Cloud's feet as he walked forward; he was sure Tidus could hear him, yet the young man didn't bother to turn around and face him. Mentally preparing himself for the conversation ahead, Cloud took a seat on the bank beside Tidus. Tidus' eyes flickered to the side for a moment, just long enough to take Cloud in, then they returned to the water.

"I thought you'd be here," Cloud announced.

"How'd you know?" Tidus sounded uninterested.

"You love the water, don't you?" Cloud asked, though it was more of an affirmation than a question. Tidus didn't answer.

"Look, Tidus, I know you're upset with me. You have a right to be, but I'm here now, so please... Talk to me," Cloud begged him, gently.

When Tidus didn't react, Cloud felt the instinct to heave a dejected sigh. The old Cloud would have given into that instinct, but the new Cloud—the one that wanted so badly to make a change—raised a hand and reached to touch Tidus' shoulder, but Tidus immediately stood up to avoid the contact.

Tidus sighed, and began to pace in front of the lake. He could feel a fire burning in his stomach, filling him with anger. How dare Cloud try to make advances after Tidus had tried and tried to make things work! How dare Cloud be so kind and soft-spoken when he was the one who'd done so much wrong!

"Tidus, come on," Cloud said, softly, his voice weakening. Tidus shook his head wildly.

"You can't just come back here and pretend everything's okay!" Tidus shouted as he paced, his gaze as far away from Cloud's as he could manage.

"Please, don't get upset. I left because I cared," Cloud calmly explained.

"You _cared,_ " Tidus repeated, looking as if the words were toxic to him. "Do you remember what happened the other night? You left. You told me to move on, and you left."

"Because I didn't want you to get hurt!" Cloud jumped in.

"Oh, right! Like, that makes sense! What am I supposed to think when we kiss for the first time, and then you take off? I think you're afraid _you're_ going to get hurt," Tidus spat. Cloud fidgeted.

"I won't lie. I fear that, too, but Tidus, I think I made a mistake in leaving," Cloud told him, standing up to emphasize his point. Tidus decided to stop pacing and face Cloud properly. He stared at Cloud through cold eyes. Slowly, he stepped toward Cloud, but kept a distance between them that was too wide for Cloud's liking.

"The dream I had that night scared me. It was my fears bundled up into one horrific nightmare, fears that you're already aware of. Tidus, you know me. You know what scares me. Despite all those fears, I came back for you. You have to know that I care about you. And these feelings I have... They keep getting stronger," Cloud tried to explain. He wasn't used to having to use so many words to get Tidus to understand him, but right now, he knew they weren't communicating well.

"Maybe you do care," Tidus said, his voice returning to a normal volume. "But I'm not sure how I feel about you anymore." Cloud's expression flickered from one of sadness to deep hurt.

"I mean, yeah, I thought you and I would be great together, but after everything, I'm not so sure. Maybe someone else would be better for you," Tidus said, and although he was serious, the pain in his voice was audible to both of them.

"But, Tidus... I think I want _you_ with me. Only you," Cloud said, his eyes wide, and his heart pounding. He hoped Tidus could hear the desperation in his voice, the fact that he wanted, and possibly even _needed_ , his forgiveness.

Tidus' mouth opened a little, surprised and also touched by Cloud's confession, but he quickly closed it. His throat felt tight as a memory surfaced in his mind, of that night when he and Cloud had trudged through the rain. _"If you can't get me to open up, then I don't think anyone— I mean, I don't want anyone but you to..."_ Cloud did want him. He had meant those words back then, and the ones he was speaking now were just as sincere. It made Tidus want to give in, but he couldn't.

Cloud had wrecked him. He didn't want to put himself through those false hopes again. He couldn't let himself experience that same hurt. First with Yuna, now with Cloud. It was just too much.

"Maybe you should have realized that before you left," Tidus eventually muttered, summoning the strength to leave, though part of him was dying to stay put. He told himself yet again that he couldn't give into what could only end in heartache.

"Tidus, wait!" Cloud called out, reaching an arm out for Tidus' shoulder and holding him so tightly that he couldn't escape.

"Dammit, Cloud, what do you want?!" Tidus demanded, spinning around to face him. His face was full of so many emotions, Cloud wasn't sure which one to focus on. The sadness? The anger? Or that underlying love that Tidus was trying not to show?

"Another chance," Cloud sputtered out, causing Tidus' eyes to grow wide.

"Cloud..." Tidus mumbled, his voice weakening. Cloud hoped he was getting somewhere, that he was wearing Tidus down enough to change his mind.

"Please," Cloud pleaded, his eyes locking with Tidus'. Those turquoise irises were filled with so much fear. Tidus didn't know how much longer he could take that look. "Another chance." Cloud's grip on Tidus' shoulder tightened, but his fingers trembled anxiously.

"Cloud," Tidus said, again, before his voice was reduced to a volume just above a whisper. "I'm sorry, but you've lost my trust."

Tidus gave Cloud a pat on the shoulder, and Cloud released his grip on him, allowing him to break free. As Tidus headed back toward the camp, Cloud stood motionless. Seconds passed slowly, and Cloud cupped a hand over his mouth, breathing deeply. He massaged his tense jaws tenderly, hoping to ease them out of their locked position, but it did no good.

Clearly, Cloud hadn't focused enough on the possibility that Tidus might not take him back. He'd always feared the relationship wouldn't work out on his end, but the thought that _Tidus_ would reject _him_ was never one that had lingered in his mind. He hadn't fully considered the chance that Tidus wouldn't welcome him back with open arms, and he certainly hadn't prepared himself for the pain of that rejection, or how he would handle the situation if Tidus did push him away. Cloud could feel his emotions rising into his throat, but he gulped them back down and suppressed them. He wouldn't cry about this. He'd made his bed; now he had to lie in it.

* * *

"Cloud?"

"Wha...? Tidus?" Cloud asked, through grogginess and closed eyes. He heard a chuckle after that, and realized he must have said the wrong name.

"No, it's Firion. We're planning to head out soon," Firion replied. Cloud opened his eyes and saw Firion peeking through the door of the tent. Apparently, he had fallen into a deeper sleep than usual, as Firion, who'd been bunking with him, had already packed up his sleeping bag and supplies without disturbing his slumber.

"Sorry to have to wake you," Firion apologized.

"That's alright," Cloud said, with a yawn as he sat up. He ran a hand through his bed-hair, which he could immediately tell was particularly bad this morning.

"Lemme talk to him for a sec!" came Bartz's voice. He appeared beside Firion, practically bouncing on the spot, as Firion chuckled and walked away. Bartz entered the tent, and closed it behind him. He tried hard not to laugh at the state of Cloud's hair.

"What's going on?" Cloud asked. Bartz took a few steps forward, then crouched down beside him.

"I should be asking _you_ that question! How did things go with Tidus?" Bartz whispered, looking so optimistic that Cloud hated to answer him. Apparently, his face spoke volumes before he could form any words.

"Not good?" Bartz frowned. Cloud solemnly shook his head.

"Not at all," Cloud told him. Bartz cocked his head to the side, hoping for a bit more detail. "He... didn't want me back," Cloud explained, trying to ignore the dull ache that seemed to penetrate his very being; the truth seemed to hurt even more now that he'd actually said it aloud.

"Oh." Bartz's smile faded.

"Said he couldn't trust me anymore."

"Well, don't fret. I'm sure he just needs some time," Bartz replied, hoping some encouragement would help; it had always been his trademark way of assisting his friends.

"What if he doesn't? What if I've really lost him?" Cloud muttered, head low. It was strange. He hadn't realized how much he missed Tidus until he knew he couldn't have him, until he knew that Tidus wouldn't always be there for him whenever he wanted him around. He'd never imagined that losing Tidus—someone that for the longest time he had fought with himself to avoid—could hurt as much as it did. So many times, Tidus had made him feel he was worth something, and Cloud missed that feeling more than he cared to admit.

He closed his eyes and wished he hadn't said so much. He knew he probably sounded like an idiot, but Bartz had probably heard him say a lot of stupid things over the past couple of months. Bartz put a hand up to silence him.

"No, I _forbid_ you to talk like that," he announced, holding his head high as if he were Cloud's teacher.

"Huh?" Cloud asked, mouth popping open as he stared innocently up at Bartz.

"No negative thoughts, okay? You two are gonna get past this. You're a good match," Bartz smiled.

"How do you figure?" Cloud tested, scoffing; he wondered what someone on the outside could see. Cold as a stone Cloud, and bright as the sun Tidus? Yeah. What a match.

"You're different in a lot of ways, but I think that's what makes it work, you know?" Bartz grinned. Cloud stared at Bartz for a moment, then let a small smile cross his lips, though it fell away just as quickly as it had come.

"Find a way to earn back his trust, okay? Just remember, Tidus has his fair share of baggage, too. He _wants_ to confide in you, so make sure you're there for him. I know you'll figure it out," Bartz consoled, clambering to his feet, and Cloud found himself immediately reflecting on those words.

Tidus _had_ seemed awfully thankful that Cloud had been there to comfort him the night they had kissed. Cloud knew bits and pieces of Tidus' past—about his family, about Yuna—but still, Cloud never thought of Tidus as someone with darknesses. He always managed to remain so happy. Cloud knew that his positivity was sincere, but he supposed that when Tidus _did_ need some time to show his more emotional side, there weren't many in front of whom Tidus would let himself break down. Cloud swallowed as he realized that Tidus did need him just as much as he needed Tidus. They were the same in the way they hid their emotions from everyone but those they felt close to.

Cloud nodded, feeling a little better, but it was obvious that Bartz had a lot more faith in him than he had in himself. Perhaps that was the problem.

Bartz exited the tent, and Cloud rose from his sleeping bag with a sigh. He rolled it up, thinking of Tidus as he did so, and smiling a little when he remembered Tidus' difficulty with this simple task, but it hurt to smile. It eventually hurt so much he had to stop.

When he'd finished with the sleeping bag, he proceeded toward his backpack and retrieved his pauldron from within it. He quickly equipped it, then found his gloves and tugged them onto his hands. As he stared into the open mouth of his knapsack, he thought of something that he'd put in there several days ago, something that could possibly be his first step to getting Tidus back. Cloud's hands dove into the bag, searching for the earring that Tidus had made for him. He knew he had tucked it safely away near the bottom. _When you feel you've earned my trust again, give this back to me;_ that's what Cloud would say to him.

Cloud searched and searched, but was puzzled when he had no luck finding the piece of jewelry. With a frown, he dumped all of the knapsack's contents onto the floor of the tent. Scattered in front of him were potions, materia, bandages, gil... But no earring.

Cloud sat back in defeat, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach when he realized it must have fallen out of his bag sometime when he was rooting through it. He'd lost Tidus, and now he'd lost the one thing that tied them together. He'd lost his aid in making things right.

"Cloud, you almost ready to head out?" Squall asked, gently knocking on the side of the tent.

"Yeah, almost," Cloud replied. He swallowed hard as he scanned the array of items that were spread out on the floor and confirmed yet again that the gift from Tidus really wasn't there. He ran a hand through his messy hair once more, remembering he would have to fix it at the lake before they left. He already knew it was going to be a hard day.

* * *

"So, here's our location right now. Right next to the lake," Firion said to the group gathered around him. They were huddled around a sketch of a map that Firion had drawn in a round patch of dirt near their campsite. He pointed a stick at the small circle he'd drawn, the one that symbolized the lake.

"This is where we just came from, that barren land where we ran into Jecht and Kefka," he went on, drawing his stick a little to the north.

"This way leads back to the alcove," he said, moving the pointer again to another spot on the scribbled map.

"My thought is that we should travel in this direction. I don't believe we've explored it yet."

"Sounds fine to me. Are we still going to travel in such a large group?" Cloud asked. He felt Bartz nudge him in the side as if to say they weren't going anywhere.

"Well, if we're listening to what Jecht and Kefka told us, then we should probably avoid splitting up," Cecil reminded them.

"Yeah, seems like the more fighters we have, the less likely they are to attack, and the less likely we are to get hurt," Tidus spoke up.

He felt Cloud's eyes flutter toward him, and it took all his strength not to meet his gaze; he knew he would only feel guilty if he looked into those sad, blue eyes. How the tides had turned. Not so long ago, Tidus had been the one stealing glances, just hoping that Cloud would return them with a smile. Now, he hated that he was missing Cloud. He hated that he still wanted them to be something more than friends. He wanted to trust Cloud, but knew he couldn't. There was still no guarantee that things would work out differently this time, that Cloud really was ready for this relationship.

"I believe we're getting closer to Chaos. Everyone, be on the alert when we head out," Firion warned.

"It's unlikely that Chaos troops will attack a group this big, unless they have a large group as well," Squall added.

"Anything is possible. It's best to be on the offensive," Cloud reminded his allies.

They all nodded in agreement, ready to move out. As they collected up their gear, Tidus bravely met Cloud's gaze. Their eyes lingered on each other for a moment, full of apology, their lips curling into the saddest, softest smiles possible. The anger had passed. Things were far from perfect, but for now, they would have to be okay.

 


	20. Missed

**Chapter 20: Missed**

The group travelled for four long days, during which time they quickly became hungry and fatigued. They were running low on food, and were having no luck hunting anything worth eating. There was no water nearby, which meant fishing wasn't an option either. Despite their discomfort, they somehow managed to keep their spirits up—Cloud honestly thought it was only because of Tidus' jokes and Bartz's perpetual optimism. The warriors had to admit, however, that at least the grass underfoot was a welcome change from the dirt paths and soggy wetlands that they had had to cross to get here.

"Hey, guys, wait a minute," Bartz spoke up, causing everyone to stop in their tracks.

"What is it, Bartz?" Cecil asked, turning to face the man at the back of the line. Bartz stood still, his face pointed toward the sky.

"The air here... It _smells_ familiar," he replied. No sooner had he said the words, than the ground beneath them began to shake.

"What the hell did you do, Bartz?" Tidus yelled, as he tried to keep his footing on the trembling ground.

"I didn't do anything!" Bartz called back.

Firion fell to his knees, unable to stand any longer. Cecil, Squall, and Cloud managed to stand their ground, and Cloud's eyes remained on his friends, making sure they were okay. Keeping an eye on them soon proved to be impossible as a thick, white fog instantly overcame them.

"Guys! You all okay?!" Tidus' voice shot through the blinding clouds.

"I'm still here," Cloud assured him.

"Yeah, still hanging on," Bartz added.

The other three didn't have time to assure their comrades of their safety before the fog lifted. The troops glanced around, relieved to see that everyone had made it through the odd phenomenon, then they realized where they were; they had been transported, and they appeared to be trapped.

"Hey, I know this place! They call it the Rift," Bartz told them, fixing his gaze on the large, grey castle before them.

"You've been here before?" Firion asked, taking in his surroundings.

The group was standing on a large, square platform along with the castle, but the platform appeared to be in midair. All around, the warriors could see clouds, as well as a few smaller chunks of land dispersed throughout the sky, but there didn't look to be an exit of any kind. Jumping didn't seem like a good idea. Who knew where they would land. It didn't look like moving to any of the other platforms would help either since they were still in the middle of nowhere.

"Yeah," Bartz answered.

"This has gotta be the work of Chaos, right? But, why would they want us to come here?" Tidus asked, walking a few steps toward the castle to admire it, his hands resting casually behind his head.

"Don't know," Squall answered.

"It could be a trap. Keep your guard up," Cloud warned the others, before taking a few steps in Tidus' direction.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice low enough so only Tidus could hear. "You didn't get hurt in that earthquake, did you?" Tidus turned his head to look at Cloud, and he felt a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Nope, I'm fine. Thanks." It was nice to know that Cloud still cared, even if he wasn't ready to forgive him for leaving. Cloud walked back toward the others, and Tidus followed.

"I do not think we ended up here by accident," Cecil spoke up. "We should find a way out as soon as possible."

"I dunno..." Tidus said, taking in a deep breath and staring up at the sky. "It's actually kinda nice here."

Tidus' words caused a few of the other warriors to eye their surroundings more thoroughly. Fresh grass surrounded the beautiful castle, and Tidus pointed out the tiny yellow flowers peeking out from beneath green blades. The air was fresh and clean. It was actually quite peaceful. Sometimes it was nice just to 'stop and smell the roses' as Firion always said, and Tidus still had this deep-rooted desire to get Cloud to slow down and enjoy the world around him. He knew it was silly, but something in him still cared; he still wanted the best for Cloud.

"We need to keep moving. We should fight Chaos as soon as possible," Cloud reminded him, deflating Tidus' enthusiasm.

"I know, but..." Tidus started, but shut his mouth in a hurry.

He didn't want to argue with Cloud again, regardless of the circumstances. He couldn't bear to increase that sad look that Cloud had never seemed to stop wearing since their fight. Tidus didn't want to be the one causing another crease in the man's forehead; he was just too damn beautiful to be cursed with more worry lines.

"I'd have to disagree with the Blitzer, here," came a voice from above, causing the crew to look up. On top of the castle sat a smiling Zidane, who quickly made his way to the ground with a swift jump.

"Where did _you_ come from?" Squall asked, with a frown.

"Up there," Zidane smirked, pointing up at the building.

"I know that. I meant... Never mind," Squall muttered, when he realized he was being teased.

"Good to have you back, buddy," Bartz grinned, slapping Zidane's eager hand in a high-five.

"Good to _be_ back. I've been trying to catch up with you guys for a while, but I got held up," Zidane explained, with a shrug.

"With what?" Tidus asked, looking curious.

Zidane glanced around to make sure there were no other onlookers, then reached into his pocket and withdrew a shining orange crystal. Bartz and Tidus gasped.

"You found it?!" Bartz asked, excitedly.

"Yep," Zidane replied, tucking the crystal back out of sight. "Kicked Kuja's ass into oblivion, and got this thing out of the deal."

"Good for you," Tidus grinned, not noticing the slight frown that had appeared on Cloud's face. Cloud shook his head, attempting to purge his concerns for now.

"I was on my way back to help you guys out with finding _your_ crystals when I ended up getting stuck in this place," Zidane explained, placing his hands on his hips. "What a boring few days, let me tell you."

"I wonder how we can get out," Firion pondered, taking a good look around once more for some indication of what they were supposed to do.

"Trust me. I've tried," Zidane said, rolling his eyes in disgust.

"Gah! That's just great," Tidus sighed, flopping down on his back into the grass. "We're stuck in the middle of nowhere. And, as if we weren't hungry enough, we're stuck without food!"

"What? I've got all kinds of food," Zidane said.

" _When_ were you planning on telling us this?" Bartz asked, suddenly coming to life and darting toward Zidane. The genome shrugged again.

"You didn't ask. I found a ton of food in that castle," Zidane explained, pointing to the building with his thumb. All eyes were on him as he knelt down and opened up his knapsack.

"Supper, anybody?" he smiled.

* * *

The warriors wasted no time in stuffing their faces with a mixture of fruit and rolls. Even the more reserved men ate with a little more intensity than usual, eager to fill their growling stomachs. Tidus was the first to finish, and he sat back leisurely, hands resting behind him in the grass.

"You look full, Tidus," Bartz smirked.

"Yeah. I think I ate a little too fast. It was good, though," he simpered.

"Yep, yep," Zidane grumbled, as he dug through his bag, both hands rummaging thoroughly. "You've officially managed to eat _all_ of my food, Tidus."

"Oh, come on. They all helped, too," Tidus laughed, pointing to the rest of his companions.

"Sorry, Zidane. We didn't mean to eat so much, but we were all more than a little hungry," Firion said, with an apologetic smile.

"Whatever. I'll stock up again somewhere else," Zidane replied, with a roll of his eyes.

"Cloud, Squall, you know there's no prize for the slowest eater, right?" Bartz teased the two still munching away at their meal.

"Sorry. I just don't want a stomach-ache like _someone_ over there," Cloud said, nodding his head briefly in Tidus' direction; it wasn't like him to make a joke, but he felt he needed to break the tension somehow. His heart seemed to immediately race when he saw the look of surprise Tidus gave him, and he anxiously awaited Tidus' response.

"He's right. I should probably try and walk it off," Tidus said, with a chuckle, easing Cloud's nerves, if only a little. With that, Tidus got up off the ground and stretched, starting around the corner of the castle.

"Don't stray too far," Firion warned him.

"Uh, Firion, did you forget where we are? I couldn't wander off if I tried," Tidus laughed.

"I'm gonna walk with him. I'm bored outta my wits here," Zidane sighed, trotting after Tidus.

When they had made it to the opposite side of the castle, Zidane grabbed Tidus' arm and pinched him, causing him to stop in his tracks. A glare was directed at Zidane when Tidus spun around.

"Ow! What was that for?" Tidus whined, rubbing his tender bicep.

"Just my way of sayin' hi," Zidane grinned.

"I forgot what a pest you were," Tidus groaned, giving Zidane a playful swat in the head. "So, you got your crystal, huh? How'd you do it?" he continued, raising a brow as he continued to massage his arm.

Zidane's face lit up at the question. Tidus began to stroll again, and Zidane remained at his side, hands waving eagerly as he dove into his story.

"Oh, man, I ended up stumbling into this gate, and it brought me to this Crystal place. I remembered it from my homeworld. Kuja was waiting for me there," Zidane announced.

"Yeah? And what happened?" Tidus asked, apparently intrigued.

"I toasted his ass! Gave him a good beating. He deserved it after the way he tried to hurt you guys," Zidane said, folding his arms.

"Thanks for that," Tidus laughed, before his voice returned to a more serious tone. "But, listen, you think defeating Kuja was the key to getting the crystal?"

"I think so. Seemed to work, anyway," Zidane grinned.

"Good to know," Tidus nodded. He came to a halt, gaze turning toward the sky. Zidane paused along with him, eyeing him, suspiciously. Tidus looked a little off—more serious than usual.

"Everything okay?" Zidane asked, watching his friend, worriedly. Tidus shook his head, and pinched the bridge of his nose—a habit he'd picked up from Cloud.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he lied.

"Come on. Something's up," Zidane frowned, giving Tidus a nudge with his elbow.

"I don't wanna talk about it, okay?" Tidus sighed, turning away, and continuing his walk. Zidane jogged to catch up.

"No, what is it?"

"Nothing. It's not important," Tidus shook his head, but Zidane caught on.

"Ah, no way! You still having trouble with Mr. Choco-crank?"

Tidus made a face at the nickname, which was followed by a full-on frown.

"He's not a crank. He does have quite a few issues, though," came Tidus' quiet reply.

"What's been going on with you two?" Zidane tried, though he was having a hard time catching Tidus' eye.

"What makes you think anything's been going on?" Tidus asked.

"Well, _you_ won't even look at _him_ , and _he's_ joking around with _you_ , two things that I find to be _totally_ out of the ordinary," Zidane pointed out. After a minute, a frown appeared on his face. "Wait a sec. You two slept together, didn't you?"

"What?!" Tidus demanded. He hurriedly lowered his voice when he realized that a shout that loud might be audible from the other side of the building. "No, of course, we didn't," he replied, his eyes still wide from the initial shock of his friend's assumption.

"Really? You didn't?" Zidane asked.

"We really didn't. Actually, it's... pretty much the opposite," Tidus answered, his shoulders slumping a little. The younger man gazed up at the elder one for a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"We had another fight. And just when it looked like we might actually be a couple, we... Well, we're not together anymore," Tidus said, his gaze falling to the ground. He didn't want to get into a full explanation if he didn't have to.

"A fight about what?" Zidane pried, still grimacing.

"Ugh, it's complicated," Tidus grunted, teetering back on his heels.

"Enlighten me," Zidane tested him, folding his arms and looking ready to take in the rest of the information. "If you don't, I'll start asking around, and I'm betting you don't want that."

"Man, you're annoying sometimes," Tidus sighed. He spun around slowly, beginning to pace as he went on with his explanation, speaking quietly enough that he wouldn't be heard by the others.

"Well, things really were starting to happen for us. They were, but I... I guess Cloud got scared of the commitment, 'cause he left."

"What did you do?"

"I let him go. What choice did I have?"

"Uh, duh! Stop him! Talk him out of it," Zidane said, as if it were the most obvious course of action.

"But he _wanted_ to leave. If he'd cared enough about me, he would have stayed," Tidus sighed, leaning back against the wall of the castle, and resting one foot against it. His gaze turned back toward the sky, and Zidane found himself speechless. It was clear to him now just how badly Tidus was hurting. Zidane hated seeing his friend like that.

"Wish I knew what to tell you," he said, apologetically.

"It's okay. I mean, I think he wants to make things right, but I can't keep going around in circles with him. One minute, he wants me near him, the next minute, he's pulling away from me. I can't even count how many times it's happened, and I can only take so much," Tidus tried to explain, and Zidane could hear his mournful tone. It was so unlike Tidus. Zidane wasn't used to seeing him—he who'd even given Zidane a run for his money with his everlasting energy and cheery ways—so solemn.

"I'm sorry, T. I didn't realize things were so bad. But, if Cloud does want to make up, don't you want to give him another chance?" Zidane asked, his voice gentler now.

"Part of me wants to, but I still feel like we might never get anywhere." Zidane was silent for a minute as he thought about Tidus' words. Eventually, he opened his mouth again.

"I'll admit, I don't know much about Cloud. Hopefully this will not tarnish my name as gossip-master." Zidane paused and smirked, which caused Tidus to smile a bit. "But I'm sure you know lots about him by now. If you were in his position, what would you do? How would you feel?" Zidane finished.

Tidus fell silent, and he lowered his gaze to the ground as his mind started to wander. Zack was easily the biggest obstacle Cloud had to overcome, the hardest thing to get over. He was the main barrier that prevented Cloud from reaching out to Tidus, but for the first time, Tidus put himself in Cloud's position. If Yuna had died during her pilgrimage, if she had sacrificed her life to save Tidus', then Tidus surely wouldn't be coping well either.

If Yuna had died, Tidus would have been overwhelmed with emotions—guilt, devastation, anger, sadness. He'd never thought about it that way before, but doing so made him realize just how well Cloud had been dealing with the situation all along. He had come a long way in a short amount of time, and perhaps he needed more credit than Tidus was giving him; Cloud _was_ trying his best, after all.

"Now that I think about it, I don't know if I could ever be as strong as Cloud is. It would be so hard to let someone in after all he's been through. I..." Tidus trailed off. For once, he was at a loss for words.

Cloud headed around the corner of the building in search of Tidus and Zidane, but the sound of those words brought him to a dead halt. His legs turned to jelly. He stood still, silent, holding his breath so he would not be discovered.

"Yeah, he's definitely strong, but maybe he was right when he said we were moving too fast. It takes time to move on after you lose someone, right?" came Tidus' voice again.

Cloud shivered. He could feel his pulse pounding forcefully through his veins, and couldn't decide whether his heart wanted to break or be made whole by Tidus' confession. _Strong_. That was certainly a word he would never use to describe himself. Why was it that Tidus could see things in him that he couldn't see on his own?

"I'd say, it takes time," Zidane agreed, giving Tidus a half-smile.

"Guess I'll have to think on it some more," Tidus nodded, pensively. "No promises, though."

Cloud cleared his throat, and made his way around the corner, startling both Zidane and Tidus. He saw the astounded expression jump onto Tidus' face, and watched as the pink crept into his cheeks. Zidane was rocking forward onto his toes, biting his bottom lip; Cloud couldn't tell if he was nervous or amused.

"We think we found a way out. You guys coming?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah, we're coming," Zidane replied, nodding repeatedly. He somehow appeared very nonchalant as he walked around the corner, and headed back to the group.

Tidus remained at a standstill. His shocked expression fell and turned into one that Cloud could only identify as empathy. Those sad blue eyes stared into Cloud's own, and Cloud could feel himself yearning for the young man's touch, for his gentle embrace, but perhaps he no longer deserved that sweet contact.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Cloud dared to ask, his voice weak. Tidus shook his head gently.

"I just... I miss you. That's all," he said, forcing a half-smile as he brushed past Cloud and headed for the rest of the group. Cloud swallowed hard and followed a few feet behind Tidus.

"I miss you, too," he whispered, but the words never reached Tidus' ears.

* * *

"Phew. That sure was lucky," Bartz sighed, when they landed back in the forest through which they'd previously been trekking. He glanced behind himself, making sure they weren't about to be sucked back into the Rift, but he didn't see any signs of portals, nor did he feel any earthquakes coming on.

"Yes. Apparently, we just had to wait until one of those portals showed up," Firion said, referring to the image of the forest that had appeared in the sky when they had been in the Rift. It had seemed risky to venture through it, but it wasn't like they'd had a lot of choice if they wanted a chance to escape.

"I think Bartz means we're lucky we all ended up back here in one piece," Zidane smiled.

"That is true as well," Firion chuckled, lightly.

"We should move away from here as quickly as possible," Cecil spoke up.

"He's right. Wouldn't want to end up getting sent back there," Squall agreed.

"Okay, let's move out, troops!" Bartz cheered, taking up the lead. Zidane jogged to catch up with him, and together they led the way through the woods.

Cloud took up the rear, and Tidus found himself wanting to slow down and fall into step with Cloud, but he wasn't sure whether or not it was a good idea. He wasn't quite sure yet what he wanted to do, or what he wanted to say. He was still upset with Cloud, yet to some degree, he could understand Cloud's anxiety, even if he didn't agree that Cloud's leaving had been the right choice. He would consider giving Cloud one more chance, but he wasn't ready to do so yet.

Realizing he still had too much uncertainty about their situation, Tidus decided against talking to Cloud right now. He tried to convince himself it was for the best; maybe more time apart would be beneficial for Cloud, as well.

"Why do I feel like we got out of there too easily?" Squall spoke up.

"I know what you mean," Firion agreed. "It's strange that we were able to escape without a fight."

"Don't say stuff like that, Firion. You're only gonna encourage trouble to find us," Tidus sighed, giving his friend a nudge in the side.

"Do you feel like we're being watched?" Bartz asked, glancing up into the trees around him.

"Oh, you guys are freaking me out! Let's hurry up and get out of here," Zidane whined, grabbing hold of Bartz's and Squall's arms and tugging them along behind him.

"It would not be unwise to keep moving," Cecil agreed, coaxing the others to follow. When Tidus no longer heard footsteps behind him, he turned to see what was keeping his companion.

"You coming, Cloud?" he asked, but his friendly smile quickly fell away when his eyes came to rest on Cloud's trembling form.

"Hey, you okay?" The others heard the commotion behind them, and turned to see what was going on.

Cloud was doubled over, his arms wrapped around his torso. His legs were shaking beneath him. Tidus was at his side in a second, and he put a hand on his shoulder. A sharp current jittered up Tidus' arm, and he pulled away with a woeful holler.

"What's wrong?" Bartz called out.

Tidus stared at his hand, trying to identify what had caused the pain he had experienced the second he had touched Cloud's body. A small burn-mark in the material of his glove gave him a good hint, though.

"Magic? I think he's being attacked!" Tidus yelled back. Zidane and Bartz ran to Cloud's side while Squall, Cecil, and Firion began scanning their surroundings.

"Cloud, answer me! Are you okay?" Tidus asked, sheer panic in his voice. Cloud managed to raise his head, just enough to meet Tidus' worried gaze. That concerned look of Tidus' only increased when he saw Cloud's trembling jaw and bloodshot eyes.

"Hang on, okay?" Tidus said, voice desperate, before turning his gaze toward the trees above him. His eyes scanned the foliage frantically, and his heart seemed to jump when he saw a figure on one of the branches, partly concealed by leaves.

"Firion, up there!" Tidus shouted, pointing a finger in the right direction. Firion immediately drew his bow, and released an arrow into the trees. He heard a grunt before the figure made its way gracefully to the ground. Whatever magics had been holding Cloud suddenly let go, and Cloud fell forward into Tidus' arms, breathing hard.

"Chaos is losing his patience with you lot," the intruder announnced, approaching the battle-ready group. Several of the Cosmos warriors recognized the gold-clad man as the Emperor.

"What do you want?" Firion demanded, his tone fierce, bow drawn. Squall, Cecil, and Zidane drew their weapons as well while Bartz and Tidus stayed protectively at Cloud's side.

"I wouldn't bother trying to fight me, if I were you," the Emperor warned, a small, conniving smile on his face. "I would summon more manikins than you can imagine, and they would take you down in a matter of seconds."

"We're not scared of you!" Tidus shouted, and Cloud could feel his friend's body shaking with rage.

"Oh, really? Then I would suggest you prove to Chaos you're not a bunch of cowards and start fighting us. We're not going to wait forever," the Emperor told the group.

"You guys are the cowards! You always show up and talk big, but you never dare to take us on!" Bartz yelled from the sidelines, keeping a gentle hand on Cloud's back.

"You're all fools. If you want a fight so badly, it's a fight you'll get. You had all better watch your backs," the Emperor warned, with a scowl. Before anyone could stop him, he raised a hand and disappeared into a cloud of smoke. The Cosmos warriors stood still for a long moment, keeping their guard up, but when they heard Cloud groan in pain, they lowered their weapons and rushed to his side.

"Where does it hurt?" Bartz asked.

"E-everywhere," Cloud answered, weakly.

"I think he got burned. Same thing happened to my hand when I touched him," Tidus explained, still holding Cloud safely in his arms. He felt Cloud nod his head against him.

"I can heal him for a while, if you want," Firion offered.

"Should we really stop to rest here? It seems sort of risky when Chaos knows where we are," Zidane spoke up.

"I don't think Cloud can move, as it is now," Tidus said. "Can you?"

"I don't... I don't think so. I'm sorry," Cloud whispered.

"I'll help with the healing. Speed up the process," Cecil offered, approaching Cloud along with Firion. They knelt down and each wrapped one of Cloud's arms around their shoulders, helping him stand. Tidus watched carefully, making sure Cloud looked comfortable as they manoeuvred him, then he stood up as well.

"Try not to take too long, okay?" Tidus said, his eyes fixed on his friends as they led Cloud over to one of the nearest tree trunks, and got him sitting with his back against it. They quickly began their healing spells, and Tidus heaved a nervous sigh as he made his way toward Zidane and Squall.

"This doesn't seem good, does it? Chaos attacking us out of the blue like this?" Zidane asked.

"No, it doesn't," Tidus agreed, glancing in Cloud's direction. He felt unsettled, and he was sure the others did, too. "And something tells me this is just the beginning."

* * *

Cecil and Firion spent about half an hour healing Cloud's injuries before Zidane convinced them that they were probably sitting ducks in the middle of Chaos' trap. The group hit the road again, and with Firion and Tidus' aid, Cloud was able to walk. Night fell upon them more quickly than they had anticipated, which led them to believe that time passed more slowly in the Rift than it did here. Before long, they were forced to set up camp once again, and though Tidus knew it was probably for the best, he was a little envious that Cecil was bunking up with Cloud for the night. No matter how upset Tidus was with Cloud, he still didn't like the thought of someone else taking care of him when he wasn't at his strongest.

"See ya in the morning, Tidus," Zidane yawned, as he crawled into his tent with Squall. Tidus smiled and gave him a wave, then walked over to where Firion was fiddling with the last of his tent poles.

"Need any help?" Tidus asked, eyeing the slightly lopsided tent. Firion adjusted the pole a little more, and the tent straightened out.

"I think I've got it. Thanks," Firion smiled. Tidus glanced over at the tent that Cecil and Cloud were currently occupying, and he let out a sigh, which Firion noticed, but decided not to question.

"Hey, Tidus. Would you wanna bunk with me for the night?" Bartz asked, emerging from his own tent and approaching Tidus and Firion. Tidus gave Firion a glance.

"Think you can stand a night without my snoring, Firion?" he smirked.

"Oh, I'm sure I'll manage," Firion replied, with a light chuckle. Tidus gave Bartz a pat on the shoulder as they proceeded toward his tent.

Bartz flopped down on his bedroll as soon as they got inside, but Tidus took a minute to unroll and adjust his sleeping bag. He could feel Bartz's eyes on him as he did so, and he was sure he was about to be bombarded with questions about Cloud. Bartz rolled onto his side a second later, and propped his head up with his hand, making Tidus even more uncomfortable.

"What's up, Bartz?" Tidus asked, with a nervous smile.

"When are you two gonna make up?" Bartz asked, causing Tidus to bring his eyes back to his sleeping bag. He was quiet for a moment.

"Talked to Zidane, did you? Or, was it Cloud?" he eventually asked.

"Both, actually," Bartz chortled.

Tidus was silent again, just trying to piece together enough thoughts to produce a sentence. He finished with his sleeping bag as quickly as he could, then he lay down on his back, his eyes focusing on the small raindrops that were beginning to splatter the outside of the tent.

"I don't know, Bartz," Tidus sighed. "I'm really not in the mood for this. Zidane already interrogated me today."

"Come on. I know Cloud feels awful about taking off like that," Bartz told him.

Tidus fidgeted, uncomfortably. He was a little surprised that Cloud had told Bartz anything at all; the fact that he did made Tidus think Cloud really was suffering. Maybe he did regret leaving, more than Tidus had even realized.

"What did he say to you?" he asked, cautiously.

"He wants to make up. I know it scares him, too, but I think you do make things easier on him in the long-run," Bartz explained. Tidus forced a half-smile, and as he thought about Cloud—about Cloud's smile, his laughter, and finally, those longing looks he'd been giving Tidus a lot lately—he felt words rush to the tip of his tongue.

"I do miss him. And sometimes when he looks at me, I know he misses me, too," he said, his gaze still fixed on the ceiling of the tent. "But, honestly, I don't know if it'll ever work out."

"What do you mean?" Bartz asked, with furrowed brows.

Tidus bit his lip to fight back a sigh. The questions were definitely starting to get to him, but he knew Zidane and Bartz. They would keep pestering him until they got the answers they wanted. Yes, they were nosy, and sometimes Tidus thought they butted into other people's business just to fight the boredom, but he knew they cared, too. They were all friends, and friends wanted the best for each other. Knowing that made Tidus willing to continue on.

"Cloud lost someone he loved, and for a while, I thought I might be able to reach him, but, honestly... I don't think I even compare to what he had back then," Tidus confessed. He raised a hand to his forehead, and closed his eyes.

"Oh, come on. That's not true. I mean, I think Cloud's really changed since you've been with him. Besides, why would he want to get back together with you if he didn't like you?" Bartz tested.

"I know he's trying, but I don't know how long it's gonna take him to let go of the past, or even if he can."

"You've come so far. You shouldn't give up on him yet."

"I know, but it's not really fair that _I_ should have to keep trying to reach out to him when _he's_ the one who walked away," Tidus said, dropping his hand from his face and looking Bartz in the eye. Bartz could sense the sudden anger in Tidus' voice, and he realized that that was the real problem here. Tidus was still hurt. He felt betrayed by Cloud.

"I get it. And you're right. It's not really fair. But I think Cloud is kind of afraid to try and make nice with you right now. So, if you want to make this work, you might have to be the one to step up and start a conversation," Bartz said.

"Why would he be afraid?" Tidus asked, his brows creasing.

"He thinks you don't want him back," Bartz told him, causing Tidus' expression to sadden.

Just then, a noise was heard outside, and Bartz and Tidus glanced at the door of the tent, then back at each other.

"You guys okay?" Tidus called out, but he bolted up from his sleeping bag when he saw a bright light flash outside.

"We're under attack!" came Firion's voice, and Bartz and Tidus escaped from the tent as fast as they could.

It took Tidus a minute to take in his surroundings, but panic took over him in a matter of seconds. There was a large fire just feet away from their campsite, and flashes of lightning spells were shooting across what was now a battlefield. Firion, Squall, and Zidane were standing outside their tents, weapons drawn, and Cecil was just helping Cloud out of their own tent. Across from Tidus stood five manikins and their leader: The Emperor.

Firion was the first to start attacking. He let several arrows fly from his bow, which the Emperor blocked with ease. Zidane jumped into battle immediately after, running toward one of the manikins and swinging his blades at it. Squall and Bartz charged into battle, too, and Tidus took a couple of steps toward Cecil and Cloud.

"Is he...?" Tidus started.

"I'll protect him. You fight," Cecil ordered.

Tidus gave Cecil a nod, and briefly met Cloud's worried gaze before launching into the fight. He, Squall, and Zidane made quick work of the manikins while Bartz and Firion took on their leader, but the Emperor didn't seem to be badly affected by their attacks. Tidus moved to help his friends with the Chaos warrior, but the man only summoned more manikins. Tidus cursed, and returned to fighting manikins with Squall and Zidane.

Bartz let out a cry when one of the Emperor's lightning spells hit his wrist, and his sword clattered to the ground. Squall was at Bartz's side in a minute, and Zidane jumped in to battle the Emperor in Bartz's stead. He was thankful that Firion was there to back him up.

Tidus continued to hack away at the manikins until they had all been defeated, then he glanced around the battlefield to make sure everyone was still okay. Squall had moved Bartz to the side, out of harm's way, and was now focusing his attacks on the Chaos warrior. The Emperor raised his staff into the air and summoned three more manikins; Tidus didn't notice them until Cloud shot a fire spell at one that was slowly slinking toward him. Tidus glanced at the incinerating creature behind him, then nodded a thank you to Cloud.

"Save your strength, Cloud," Cecil said, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder when he looked like he was about to drop.

"It's alright," Cloud assured him.

The battle continued, and it seemed that no matter how many manikins they took down, or how many attacks they threw at the Emperor, they were no closer to ending the fight. Zidane, Squall, and Firion were tiring from fruitlessly fighting the Emperor, yet Tidus knew he couldn't help them when there were still manikins to take care of, and no one to fight them but him. Cecil still stood protectively in front of Cloud, which Tidus was thankful for, but he feared sooner or later Cecil would have to join in the fight, with Bartz and Cloud already out of commission.

Once Tidus had finished with the manikins, the Emperor raised his staff once more, resulting in the arrival of another cluster of manikins. This time, ten of them appeared. The Cosmos warriors gazed upon the beings, feeling defeated, as they could surely not keep up the pace for much longer. Squall ran over to help Tidus with the manikins while Zidane and Firion kept firing useless attacks at the Chaos leader.

"Forget him!" Bartz called from the sidelines, cradling his wrist with his opposite hand. "Get rid of the manikins!"

Firion and Zidane obeyed, and ran to aid Tidus and Squall, but Tidus caught movement out of the corner of his eye. The Emperor was heading for Bartz. Bartz realized this as well, and tried to scoot himself further back from the battlefield, but he knew he'd already been spotted. Tidus turned away from the manikins, leaving his friends to take care of them, and ran toward Bartz.

"Tidus!" came Cloud's desperate call from across the field.

"Tidus, look out!" Cecil shouted, and Tidus looked around himself in confusion.

He panicked when he realized Golbez had entered the battlefield, and had already shot a ball of magic in his direction. Tidus raised his hands to block the attack, but he knew it wouldn't be enough to save him. A painful cry followed, and Tidus carefully opened his eyes to see what had happened. Cecil lay on the ground before him, magic obviously still coursing through his trembling body.

"Cecil?" Tidus asked, frantically, kneeling down beside him as quickly as his legs would permit. Firion shot an arrow at the Emperor's back, effectively ending his advance toward Bartz, and Zidane ran forward to face the Emperor once more.

"Cecil? Come on, are you okay?" Tidus asked again, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder as soon as the magic seemed to have died off. Cecil's eyes looked hazy as he gazed at the man above him.

"Are you hurt, Tidus?" Cecil asked, his voice shaking.

"No, I'm fine. But you..." he started, but his words left him as soon as he saw purple smoke emerging from his friend's body.

"Cecil, no. You can't die!" Tidus shouted, but quickly realized he couldn't stop what was happening.

"Congratulations, Golbez. You've finally succeeded in defeating your brother. Who knew it would be so easy," the Emperor praised, which only caused Zidane and Squall to release even more violent attacks on the man. The Emperor raised a hand and the two Cosmos warriors were immediately pushed backwards by an invisible force. Whatever barrier the Emperor had put between them seemed to be impenetrable from their side. If he decided to fight them now, they wouldn't stand a chance.

"Cecil, please. Hold on! Firion, heal him. Quick!" Tidus panicked, and he felt Firion approach him, but the man merely put a hand on Tidus' shoulder.

"It's too late, Tidus," Firion whispered, watching as Cecil's body continued to disintegrate into a thin purple fog. Tidus leaned forward to embrace the white knight, but his arms went right through the vanishing corpse.

"Cecil!" Tidus cried out, the first of his tears finally breaking free. Cloud's heart throbbed with emotion, with rage. He couldn't explain the feeling of devastation that overwhelmed him. Seeing Tidus like that... It made him want to destroy the thing that had caused Tidus so much pain.

Cloud let out a threatening battle-cry as he released a relentless flurry of spells in Golbez's direction. The warrior simply blocked the attacks, and the Emperor smirked. Cloud tried to stand up straight as the Emperor approached him, but his strength was certainly waning now.

"I don't know if I would try fighting, if I were you, foolish warrior. Seems to me I already took you down a few pegs. You're not looking so good," the Emperor said, so close to Cloud now that Cloud feared his breath alone might knock him over.

"Who started the party without me?" came another familiar voice. Cloud looked up to see Tidus' father walking up to join the rest of the group.

"Jecht. How nice of you to join us," the Emperor announced, turning to face the newest arrival.

Cloud fell to his knees, no longer able to hold himself up. Zidane and Squall quietly made their way to Bartz's side, and helped him to his feet, suspecting they might have to make a dash for it if the Chaos warriors wanted to continue fighting. They didn't stand a chance now. None of them did. Firion shook Tidus' shoulder, trying to coax the boy to stand up, but Tidus wouldn't move.

"Cecil," he repeated, weakly, as the last glimpse of the knight went up in smoke. Jecht glanced over at his son, and he couldn't help but feel torn when he saw the look of pure despair on Tidus' face. Jecht continued to stare at him for a long moment, then he cleared his throat, and turned to his fellow warriors.

"The boss needs us to report back to him," Jecht lied.

"So soon? I was enjoying our little get-together," the Emperor smiled, taking in the sight of the weary Cosmos troops.

"Something came up. Says he needs to talk to us right away," Jecht told him.

"Well, I guess there's no harm in postponing our battle to another day."

"You're right. This band of Cosmos rejects look like they could use a break anyway," Jecht mocked, forcing a harsh laugh.

"Shall we adjourn to The Edge of Madness? Surely the master will be there," Golbez spoke up.

"Yes, let us go. Until next time," the Emperor bade, giving the Cosmos warriors one last smirk before disappearing into a white fog with Golbez and Jecht.

"Cloud, are you alright?" Firion asked, approaching Cloud, and attempting to help him stand. Cloud glanced across the way at Tidus, still frozen to his spot on the ground. Cloud grunted a little as Firion managed to get him fully standing, his body still aching from the Emperor's earlier attack.

"I'll be fine," Cloud promised, panting a little from the exertion. "Just make sure Tidus is okay."

Firion nodded, and helped Cloud get supported against the nearest tree before rushing back to Tidus' side. Cloud watched Tidus so intently. He analyzed his tear-stained face, his slowly blinking eyes, his motionless body. Cloud wanted so badly to reach out and touch him, to comfort him the way Tidus always did for him, but it wasn't the time for that. For now, he had to leave the friendly gestures to Firion, whether he liked it or not.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And there you have it. A longer chapter, since the last two were kind of skimpy. Waah, poor Cecil. Poor Tidus. Poor everyone, really.
> 
> I do like that Jecht didn't like seeing Tidus upset like that, and lied to the Emperor so they would leave the Cosmos troops alone. Aww. I don't know why I like Jecht since he's such a jerk to poor little Tidus, but I do, for some reason, haha.
> 
> Hope you're all still enjoying the story. Kudos to all of you who have made it this far! This story was a beast to write and edit, so I'm sure it must be a beast to read, too! Thanks for the continuing positive feedback!


	21. Mending

**Chapter 21: Mending**

"Is he okay?" Cloud asked, poking his head inside Firion's dark tent. Firion shook his head as he helped Cloud limp inside. Tidus sat in the corner, facing the wall of the tent, his knees tucked up close against his chest.

"He hasn't said a word since I brought him in here," Firion replied, letting go of Cloud once he was sure the man was able to stand on his own. "How are the others?"

"They're all a little shaken up. Squall bandaged up Bartz's wrist, though, so I think Bartz is feeling a little better," Cloud told his companion.

"And you?" Firion asked.

Cloud shrugged. He hadn't really thought about his own state until now, despite his still aching body. Everything had been so chaotic. Cloud was only focused on Bartz's fracture, Cecil's demise, and the mental state of his weary comrades.

"I'll be okay. I've been through worse," he replied. His eyes flickered toward the young man in the corner, and his brows creased in concern. Tidus. Surely, he was hurting most of all.

"You can try and talk to him if you want. I don't know how much good it'll do," Firion said, with a quiet sigh, before Cloud could even inquire. Cloud nodded, and prepared himself, finding his inner calm.

"Tidus?" he asked.

The young man didn't move. Cloud watched him, his heart aching as he analyzed his posture. He just looked so wrong all curled up like that, so scared and silent. Seeing him like that frightened Cloud to the core, though he would never admit it to anyone but himself. Cloud never said anything, but he relied on Tidus' smile; it helped him press on when the world seemed too daunting, but death had a way of changing people.

It had changed Cloud, made him lose his direction and his eagerness for whatever came his way. It had damaged his heart and shaken his faith. If losing Cecil caused those things to happen to Tidus, as well, then Cloud didn't know who he would turn to. He needed to help Tidus through this; the young Zanarkand boy just didn't belong in that kind of darkness.

Cloud pushed his worries aside, and proceeded toward Tidus with careful steps.

"Tidus, you're shaking," Cloud observed, voice soft, eyeing Tidus' shoulders which seemed to rise and fall far more frequently than with each mere breath. Tidus was slow to respond, and even when he did, his gaze didn't budge; he continued to stare straight ahead at the tent's pine-green canvas.

"It's weird, isn't it? He's gone," Tidus said, sounding almost trance-like. "It could have been me. I just keep thinking it could have been me."

Cloud crouched down beside him and stared at him side-on, though Tidus still didn't attempt to meet his eyes. Cloud could feel his stomach swirling uncomfortably, but he stuck to his guns; he was going to comfort his friend, somehow.

"Tidus," he murmured. If Firion hadn't been watching, Cloud wouldn't have been able to stop himself from reaching out and brushing a comforting hand through Tidus' soft hair. He wasn't quite sure how he managed to refrain.

"It _should have_ been me. I was the one who wasn't paying attention. Cecil didn't have to... He didn't have to do that," Tidus went on, his voice weaker than Cloud had ever heard it. Cloud put a hand on Tidus' shoulder, hoping it would soothe him, even if only a little.

"I know it's hard to accept, and it's even harder to understand. Death always is. You just have to remember that it was Cecil's choice."

"To save me?" Tidus asked.

"Yes. To save you. Just like it was your choice to step in and try to save Bartz," Cloud explained, the memory flashing in his mind— the Emperor heading for Bartz, Tidus rushing to his aid, Golbez stepping in and sending magic toward the young blitzer, and finally, Cecil jumping in to take the fatal blow. Tidus didn't reply, and Cloud wasn't sure if he was reflecting on his words, or if they had even sunk in at all.

"Cloud?" Firion interjected. Cloud turned his head, and Firion motioned toward the tent door.

"Right," Cloud nodded, before turning his attention back to Tidus. "I know you feel like things are falling apart, but we all need you to be strong. We don't have time to mourn right now," Cloud said.

Finally, Tidus' head snapped around, and he gave Cloud a mighty scowl. It was the most emotion Cloud had seen him display since he'd entered the tent—not the emotion he'd been hoping for, but still...

"Oh, that's rich, coming from _you_ ," Tidus muttered, his eyes boring into Cloud's like steel.

Cloud recoiled a little as Tidus' point hit home. How awful it must have sounded, for Cloud to tell him he wasn't allowed to mourn, when all Cloud had done for months was that exact thing.

"Tidus, it's not like that. We need to get out of here before we get attacked again. You deserve time to grieve for Cecil. You know I believe that, but that time isn't now. We aren't safe here," Cloud clarified, needing Tidus to understand that he was on his side.

Tidus' expression softened, like he regretted his harsh words. Thankfully, Cloud wouldn't hold it against him; he knew the poor boy was hurting.

Cloud was glad Tidus was responding to him now, but Tidus still didn't seem eager to move. His body was still curled up tight, his lips pressed together to hold back his emotions. Cloud could feel Firion's eyes on him, encouraging him to speed things up, and get Tidus on his feet, but Cloud wasn't about to make Tidus feel pressured; it wouldn't help anything. Cloud took a breath, and gave Tidus' shoulder a gentle squeeze, ready to give it one last go.

"Cecil was brave, and he was our friend. I don't like seeing him gone any more than you do, but he knew what he was doing when he took that hit for you."

"What does that mean?" Tidus asked, looking away when he felt tears start to sting his eyes.

It was too soon to be talking like this. What had it been? Twenty minutes? And already, Cloud was talking like Cecil had been gone for months? Twenty minutes, and he expected Tidus to be okay about it? Tidus gulped back a sob. He didn't want to cry. Not in front of his friends.

"Firion, would you mind giving us a minute?" Cloud asked, hoping it wouldn't sound like too strange a request.

"Of course," Firion replied, with a courteous nod, before excusing himself from the tent. Tidus eyed Cloud only for a moment before his gaze returned to the wall of the tent.

"Tidus, do you remember what you told me about Zack?" Cloud breathed, watching Tidus' face intently for any change in expression, but he saw none. Tidus shook his head. Cloud stared at him, his own expression saddening as he watched Tidus' trembling bottom lip.

"You told me that Zack must have died for me... because he thought I was worth saving," Cloud explained, causing Tidus to meet his eyes again, only this time his gaze lingered.

"Don't you think the same must be true of Cecil? He must have thought you were worth saving, don't you think?" Cloud asked, swallowing hard as he thought of Zack.

It had taken him a long time to realize that, to accept that Zack had had a reason for what he had done, but knowing it made things so much easier. Cloud had honestly come to believe that Zack had made his choice to fight, and it was all thanks to what Tidus had said. He just hoped that that same bit of reasoning would help Tidus in his time of despair. It was the last straw at which Cloud knew to grasp.

Tidus' gaze remained on Cloud. Cloud could see the tears in his eyes, but he didn't let on.

"I think I know now," Tidus sniffed.

"Know what?" Cloud asked, softly, absentmindedly rubbing small circles on Tidus' shoulder with his thumb. Tidus closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the feel of the contact, momentarily forgetting the frustrations he felt toward the man comforting him.

"How you felt when Zack gave his life for you." Those words took Cloud by surprise—his heart felt like it had fallen into his gut—but he tried not to show it.

"Oh," he replied.

"It's awful. I feel so guilty," Tidus whimpered. Cloud nodded, his expression turning to that of sympathy and understanding.

"I know," Cloud whispered. "I know."

Tidus closed his eyes, and stifled a few sobs. Cloud simply watched him, keeping his hand on his shoulder for support, only wishing he could do more, but knew it wouldn't be wise when Tidus was so vulnerable. If they were going to get back together, Cloud wanted it to happen because they both wanted it, but he knew it might never happen. Tidus wasn't opening up to him now because he loved him; he was opening up to him because he knew Cloud understood the pain he was going through. That wasn't enough to rebuild a relationship, even one as brief as they had had.

"Tidus, I don't want to push you too hard, but the others are really hoping to get a move on. We don't think it's a good idea to stay here when Chaos knows where we are," Cloud reminded him.

"Yeah, you're right. We should go," Tidus nodded, rapidly brushing his tears away with his forearm.

"Tidus," Cloud cooed. Tidus met his gaze, cautiously and curiously, as Cloud trailed a courageous hand through his hair.

Tidus couldn't help but lean into the contact. He breathed ever so quietly, though each breath was ragged and uneven. He closed his eyes, and tilted his head so his cheek fell into place against Cloud's palm.

"Tidus, take care, okay?" Cloud whispered, his eyes tracing over each line of distress that presented itself between Tidus' brows.

"Huh? Why are you saying that? You're not leaving the group, are you?" Tidus asked, panic written across his face. Cloud shook his head, gently.

"Not unless you want me to."

"I don't," Tidus whispered, his gaze falling away from Cloud's.

"Then I won't," Cloud assured him, unable to keep an ounce of satisfaction from rising within him. Tidus wanted him nearby right now, and regardless of what the reason might be, Cloud wanted to give him some peace of mind and stay by his side.

"Come on," Cloud coaxed, giving Tidus a small smile as he stood up and offered him a hand.

Cloud thought he might have seen the tiniest flicker of contentment as Tidus accepted his hand and was pulled to his feet, but that sign of happiness quickly vanished. They stood facing each other now, but Tidus' gaze rested on the floor.

"Are you sure you're okay to go?" Cloud asked, cocking his head to the side in hopes of catching Tidus' eye.

"Nothing would change if I said I wasn't," Tidus answered, voice low.

"Like I said, just take it easy, alright? Let the others handle the fighting if we run into trouble," Cloud told him, giving him a quick pat on the shoulder before heading for the exit of the tent.

There was suddenly so much Tidus wanted to say, but his frayed nerves wouldn't let him open his mouth. Perhaps it was for the better. There was no sense in mending something if it was just going to fall apart again.

* * *

"You okay, Cloud?" Zidane asked, glancing behind him when he heard his companion's footsteps stop. Cloud was bent over, hands resting on his knees. He looked up at Zidane, his expression apologetic.

"Sorry. I'm still sore from the Emperor's attack," Cloud told him.

"Do you need a rest, Cloud?" Firion asked, turning to meet Cloud and Zidane at the back of the line.

"Just a little breather. I'll be fine in a minute," Cloud assured his friends.

Firion gave him a wave and returned to the front of the line with Squall, where they began discussing their destination. Zidane's gaze rested on the obviously exhausted Cloud for a moment before he placed a hand on his friend's back.

"You gonna be okay, buddy?" Zidane asked. Cloud momentarily glanced up at him, his brow popping up in confusion, then he chuckled a little.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks for your concern," Cloud replied, amused by Zidane's sudden friendliness toward him. He assumed Zidane's close friendship with Tidus had something to do with it. He could hardly remember the last time he and Zidane had even had a conversation.

"I gotta say, Tidus isn't looking so good himself right now," Zidane spoke up again, glancing at Tidus who was ahead with the rest of the group. "He's pretty upset about Cecil, huh?"

"Yeah, he is," Cloud agreed. "Losing an ally is never easy."

"I hate this. Chaos troops showin' up out of nowhere, and causin' hell for all of us?" Zidane huffed, voice nearly at shouting volume, but it dwindled with his next sentence. "We should have fought harder. Why weren't we strong enough?"

"I don't know," Cloud admitted, a sigh escaping his lips.

He felt his nerves tangle up into one big knot—a knot that he had been trying to ignore since they'd met up with Zidane again. There was a question he'd been dying to ask, and although he'd planned to discuss it with Tidus, the timing didn't seem right. He and Tidus were at loose ends, and Tidus himself was falling apart at the seams. Zidane probably knew more about the matter than Tidus did, anyway; he just couldn't give Cloud the consolation he'd desire if the answer wasn't one he wanted to hear.

"Zidane?" Cloud asked, pushing himself to stand up straight.

"Yeah?" the genome asked, perking his head up.

"Your crystal. Do you think it made you stronger?" Cloud asked, voice cautious.

"Hard to tell, so far," Zidane answered, raising his palms up with a shrug. "Why?"

"Cosmos said they would make us stronger, right? So, we probably need them for the final battle. So far, most of us seem to be useless against Chaos' attacks."

"Yeah..." Zidane frowned, folding his arms across his chest. "Not sure I'm following."

"Zidane, when you fought Kuja, you immediately obtained your crystal, correct? But, when I fought Sephiroth... Nothing," Cloud explained, his voice dropping to a whisper with his final word. His stomach felt tight as that fear of his was set free, yet he forced himself to remain calm as he awaited Zidane's response.

"Well," Zidane started, as one of his hands travelled up to rest on his chin. "We don't know for sure that defeating our—let's say, nemeses—is the key to getting the crystals. How many of us have actually gotten our crystals so far?"

"Just you, I think," Cloud replied.

"So, not enough to make an assumption. Don't start fretting yet, okay?"

"Okay," Cloud agreed, hiding his hesitance.

His mind certainly wasn't at ease, but Zidane's advice did make sense. Perhaps there were other ways to obtain the crystals that they just hadn't discovered yet. Trying to imagine those possibilities, however, seemed too grand a task at the moment, and Cloud found himself feeling weary again. His hands fell back down to his knees, and he took in a few more long breaths, trying to prepare himself for the continuing journey ahead.

"Listen, about T—" Zidane started, catching Cloud's attention. "I'm worried about him. I think you should talk to him. Make him feel better about Cecil," Zidane suggested, giving Cloud an encouraging pat on the back. Cloud shook his head.

"Why don't _you_ talk to him? I think I've bothered him enough for one day."

"You mean, you've already talked to him?"

"Yeah. I mean, I tried to comfort him a little. I don't know how much good it did," Cloud answered, sounding dejected. With a deep breath, he gathered his strength and pushed himself to stand straight again. Zidane kept his hand on Cloud's back to make sure he was steady.

"Why don't you run on ahead? Let the others know I'm okay to keep going," Cloud said. Zidane remained where he stood, eyeing Cloud, looking like he was biting his tongue to keep from talking. Finally, the words escaped.

"Keep trying, okay?"

"What are you talking about?" Cloud asked, frowning a little.

"With Tidus. I know he's pretty pissed at you, but, honestly? You're all he thinks about lately," Zidane announced. Cloud lowered his head slightly as his cheeks warmed up. _So, Zidane_ does _know_ , he concluded.

"Keep trying, and I think he'd give you another chance," Zidane said, his normally playful face so serious in that moment. Cloud stared at him for a long time, then he released a heavy breath.

"Zidane, I don't know if it's that simple," Cloud practically groaned, not feeling too keen on discussing his love life with someone as nosy and blabbermouthed as Zidane.

"It _is_ that simple. I know Tidus. You don't need some grand gesture to make things right. Just let him know that you care. You _do care_ , don't you?" Zidane asked, with a frown. Cloud swallowed hard, his heart telling him the answer to that question with each pounding beat.

"Of course, I care," he replied.

"Good. Then do what you can to fix this," Zidane told him, his voice and face still so stern that it took Cloud by surprise. Cloud managed a nod, and Zidane looked like he was finally satisfied with his lecture.

"Thanks, Zidane," Cloud said, forcing a small smile.

"I do what I can," Zidane said, turning his palms up, innocently.

With a small smirk, he took off at a jog toward the warriors at the front of the line, the two glowing materia strapped to his side lighting the way as he ran. Cloud took another deep breath and let it out, then walked to catch up with Bartz and Tidus who were at the middle of the line.

"What are they discussing?" Cloud asked, when he reached them.

"Squall thinks we've probably travelled far enough tonight. We're probably out of the danger zone," Bartz answered.

"Might not be a bad idea to catch at least a few hours' sleep. We're all tired," Cloud agreed, casting a quick glance in Tidus' direction, but making sure he didn't let his gaze linger.

He didn't need to. He could see even from that brief glance at his grief-stricken face that Tidus was exhausted. His eyes were empty and emotionless, and the dark circles below them only emphasized his fatigue. Even the blackness of the night couldn't disguise it.

"I'll go see if they've reached a verdict," Bartz said, rubbing his bandaged wrist with his good hand before walking off to meet the others. Cloud and Tidus stood in silence, a silence that was much more awkward than it should have been.

"How are you holding up?" Cloud tried, his gaze darting toward Tidus' tired, yet charming, face.

He looked away again before Tidus could make eye contact with him. He didn't know why he was so nervous, but he could tell Tidus felt the same way. Perhaps it was because they knew the others were probably watching, particularly Bartz and Zidane. Or perhaps they knew they were falling back into old habits, looking out for one another.

"I've been better," Tidus replied, with a shrug.

"I know. It's been a hard night," Cloud said, giving him a look of sympathy.

"Okay, guys. I guess we're gonna set up the tents," Zidane called, from up ahead.

"Okay, we'll be right there," Cloud replied, but he was distracted by the frown that had appeared on Tidus' face.

"Cloud?" Tidus asked.

"Yeah?"

"Does the ground feel... kinda shaky to you?"

Cloud frowned along with him as he became aware of the slight vibration beneath his feet. His eyes travelled down to his boots, and he could just make out the faint glow of some sort of white pentagram in the grass. The magics within it seemed to be building up, and Cloud felt a spark of adrenaline take over him.

"Tidus, move!" he shouted, launching himself toward Tidus in an attempt to push him out of the way.

Their bodies collided, and they fell to the ground, but Tidus could feel Cloud's arm still wrapped protectively around his waist. They rolled onto their sides, facing each other, their bodies still and relaxed, despite the circumstances. Their eyes met and locked as they found themselves in the midst of a rather intimate moment.

"You okay?" Cloud asked, gently, staring into Tidus' startled eyes, but there was no time for an answer.

"Guys, get over here, quick!" Bartz shouted.

His call was followed by several similar ones from the rest of their companions, but neither Tidus nor Cloud had enough time to react before the land began to tremble even more violently. They could feel the ground crumbling beneath them, but could do nothing to stop it.

"It's a trap! Get them out!" Firion hollered, but even those on solid land had no chance of saving the two others. They watched while Tidus and Cloud fell helplessly with the crumbling ground around them as a wide, circular mouth opened up in the earth.

Tidus was the first to hit the water below, and he gasped as he surfaced. It was pitch black. He couldn't see a thing, but when he heard splashing in the water nearby, he knew he wouldn't have to rely on vision to find his companion.

"Ti—" Tidus had heard Cloud's voice only for a moment before it had been swallowed; the water had probably gone over Cloud's head.

"I'm here!" Tidus called out to reassure him, but he wasn't sure whether or not Cloud would hear him if he was indeed underwater.

Tidus followed the sound of gurgling bubbles and quiet splashing before diving under. Relief washed over him when his arm bumped into Cloud's sinking form. He quickly pulled Cloud in against him and swam to the surface once more. Cloud coughed and gasped for air, and Tidus tried to fight the emotions he felt for Cloud when the man let his head fall limply on his shoulder. Tidus continued to swim, searching desperately for land.

"Are you guys okay?!" Bartz shouted from above.

"We'll let you know in a minute!" Tidus called back, trying to keep his voice as calm as he could for Cloud's sake. He bobbed in the water for a moment, keeping himself afloat with his legs and his one free arm, but he knew he was going to tire quickly if he had to keep this up for long.

"Hang on to me, okay? I don't want you slipping back in," Tidus told Cloud, gently.

"Okay," Cloud whispered back.

Tidus felt Cloud's arms weave around his neck, making his struggle to stay afloat a little easier since he didn't have to hold onto him so tightly. Tidus swam in a different direction, and was thankful when his feet hit the ground below him. Cloud groaned a little as pain set in.

"Tidus, I think I'm bleeding," he said, weakly.

"Oh, okay, just hang on a minute, alright? I think we reached land," Tidus whispered, still trying his best not to panic.

He proceeded up what he discovered was a slight incline, and waded his way out of the water. He kept one of Cloud's arms around his neck, while the other one rested on his waist. Carefully, he helped Cloud walk onto the shore. Once Tidus felt they were a safe distance from the water, he lay Cloud down on the grass. He wished he could see better through the darkness; he could just barely make out Cloud's form.

"Guys, we need healing!" Tidus called up to the others, the fear in his voice starting to show through. "And some light would be good, too!" he added.

"In my bag," Cloud spoke up. "There's fire materia in my bag."

"Okay," Tidus replied.

He reached out, and Cloud took his hands in his own, guiding him to the straps of his knapsack that were still securely around his shoulders. Tidus gently slipped the straps off of Cloud's arms and lifted him up just enough to remove the bag from beneath his back. Tidus didn't waste any time in digging through Cloud's knapsack, and he quickly retrieved the materia from within it.

"Fira!" he uttered, casting a hand out to the side, and causing a small fire to ignite a few feet away from them, giving them enough light to see each other.

"And... potions. In my pocket," Cloud instructed. Tidus was a little hesitant, but he carefully slipped a hand into Cloud's front pocket, only to pull out two cracked bottles. Tidus held them up to his eye, but the blue vials were empty.

"'Fraid not," Tidus said, biting his lip, nervously. Cloud lay his head back in defeat, and pressed a hand against his paining abdomen.

"Tidus, I'm dropping down a healing materia, okay?" Firion shouted from above.

"'Kay!" Tidus shouted back. After a second or two, he heard a plop in the water and he plunged himself into its depths once more to retrieve the item. He surfaced a moment later, and rushed back to Cloud's side.

"Tidus... Hurry. I don't know how badly I'm bleeding here," Cloud whimpered, his hand still on his abdomen. Tidus' eyes went straight to the blood seeping from under Cloud's fingers. He took a deep breath to prepare himself for the work that needed to be done.

"I know. I'm ready," Tidus assured him.

He reached out with one hand and gently removed Cloud's trembling fingers from the wound while he pressed the green materia to it with the other. Cloud's head lolled to the side, his eyes closing as he waited for the pain to subside. Tidus knew he wasn't the best healer, but he could tell by Cloud's face he was doing well enough to ease the discomfort at least a little.

"What's going on? Is everything alright?" Zidane called down.

"Cloud's a little hurt, but he's going to be fine. We'll both be fine," Tidus hollered back.

He let his eyes fall closed as he concentrated on sending all of his energy to his fingertips, hoping to give Cloud the best dose of healing he could. When he felt Cloud's hands move to rest on his own, he knew Cloud appreciated it.

"You okay?" Tidus asked, softly.

"Mm-hmm," Cloud murmured.

"What happened?"

"I think I hit rock when I fell."

"But it feels better?" Tidus asked again, just to make sure.

"Yeah. Just... don't stop yet," Cloud whispered, his eyes still closed. Tidus felt Cloud's hands tighten around his own, and he couldn't stop the warmth that invaded his heart.

The bleeding stopped within a few minutes, but knowing Cloud was still sore from the injury motivated Tidus to keep up his gentle healing, much to Cloud's contentment. Closed eyes and linked hands continued to give the men solace as the healing continued, and only when the others called down to them again was the blissful silence broken.

"We don't know if we can get you guys out tonight. It's too dark to see," Squall told them.

"Are you okay to stay here 'til then?" Tidus asked Cloud, gently.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Cloud replied, but his voice was still weak. Tidus believed it might be for the best not to move him so soon, anyway.

"We can make it 'til morning," Tidus called back.

"Do you have your supplies with you?" Firion asked.

"Our supplies is pretty wet, but it's here. And our weapons..." Tidus trailed off, glancing around until he saw their handles protruding from the water a few feet away.

"Oh, well, they're here, too. I might have to dig them out of the sand, though," he sighed.

"But you're sure you're okay? If you need us to, we'll do our best to get you out right now!" Zidane shouted. Tidus glanced at Cloud for an answer, but Cloud just shook his head.

"We'll be fine. It'll be easier in the morning when we can see again," Tidus assured his friends. He looked up, hoping he would see them, but it was much too dark. Judging by the sound of their voices, though, he and Cloud were probably at least twelve feet below.

"Okay. If you need anything, just holler!" Bartz called.

"Will do," Tidus agreed. When he heard no more responses from his friends, he brought his attention back to Cloud.

"How does it feel now?" Tidus asked.

"Much better," Cloud answered.

"Can I take a look?"

Cloud was hesitant at first, but he eventually let his hands fall from Tidus' and allowed Tidus to put aside the materia and examine the injury. There was a tear in Cloud's shirt, but only a barely visible red mark remained on Cloud's pale skin.

"Looks okay," Tidus told him.

"Feels okay," Cloud added.

"Then it must be okay," Tidus said, with a small smile. Their eyes met in a long stare, and Tidus was eventually the one to break it. He cleared his throat and got to his feet before heading for the water again.

"I should get our weapons back. Yours'll get pretty rusty if it stays in there," Tidus said, forcing a chuckle as he waded into the pool.

Cloud carefully sat up to watch him, his hand falling upon his recent injury. His eyes crinkled a little from the discomfort, but the pain was small enough to handle.

"Do you want me to set up a tent?" Cloud asked.

"Nah, that's alright. I think it would be too soaked anyway," Tidus replied, shaking his head.

He began to tug at the handle of the Buster Sword; it took a few pulls before it came loose from the sand. Tidus dragged the weapon back onto the land before returning to the water to retrieve his own blade. He pulled it from the sand with only one swift tug, and gave a triumphant grin. Cloud spoke up as he returned to shore.

"That's a nice blade. It's a lot more practical to be carrying something so light," Cloud said, eyeing the blue sword as Tidus lay it down beside the large Buster Sword. Tidus chuckled, looking in Cloud's direction.

"Yeah, my friend, Wakka, gave it to me. It belonged to his brothe— Wait, seriously? We're talking 'bout weapons?"

"Sorry. I was just trying to make conversation," Cloud replied, feeling a little embarrassed that Tidus had recognized he was dodging the subject they usually discussed.

Things quickly became awkward again, and he wished they could go back to how they were moments before. They had been so close, and so at peace with each other. Cloud hoped he wasn't the only one who still felt something between them; he just wished he had felt it so much sooner.

"It's okay," Tidus said, with another small burst of laughter as he sat down beside Cloud, legs sprawled out in front of him. "I was just teasing."

Silence struck again as they gazed out over the bit of water they could see. The glow of the fire was growing dimmer, making it harder to see things in the distance. They could still hardly make out where they were. The only surroundings they were aware of was the water before them and the grass they were sitting on. Tidus' mind wandered back to moments before as he stared out over the glistening ripples.

"Your shirt... Want me to—?" Tidus tried, nervously, his gaze returning to Cloud. Cloud glanced down at the bloodied and torn material. His attire _was_ quite a mess, and he wasn't sure he felt well enough to tackle mending it himself.

"Would you mind?" Cloud asked, just as anxiously.

"No, not at all," Tidus half-smiled.

Cloud nodded, and slowly, carefully removed his shirt before handing it over to Tidus. Tidus took it with gentle hands, eyes low towards the ground—he didn't want to make Cloud feel like he was on display—and scooted forward to kneel at the water's edge. He lay the fabric down in the cool water, and watched through the dim light as the blood began to rise up from the material, and swirl in the ripples. Both sets of eyes focused on Tidus' hands as they began to scrub the shirt clean.

Luckily, having tended to it right away, the stain came out effortlessly, and Tidus withdrew the cloth from the water. He wrung it out with strong hands, and watched as the excess water dribbled back down to where it belonged. Next, Tidus removed his own backpack, and dug through it to find a needle and thread that he kept in a small kit.

"Thank goodness for moogles, huh?" Tidus grinned, peeking at Cloud out of the corner of his eye.

"Yes, they definitely keep us stocked up," Cloud agreed, forcing a small smile as he watched Tidus begin to mend the small rip.

He looked so focused, and he took his time—something that was unusual for him when he performed most tasks—but Cloud recognized that look. He wore that look whenever he was deep in thought, usually right before he posed a difficult question that would uncover something about Cloud. Cloud used to resent that look, as it meant Tidus was about to intrude, to ask him something he probably didn't want to answer, but Cloud realized that it had only been because Tidus had cared. Now, he _missed_ the way Tidus cared.

Cloud was so focused on watching Tidus that he hadn't realized how much time had passed. He was shocked to see Tidus sewing the last stitch, and pulling the last of the tear together again.

"Good as new," Tidus announced, snapping off the excess string with his teeth, then he handed the shirt over to Cloud.

"Thank you."

Cloud held the mended, wet fabric on his lap, his fingers mindlessly tracing over the spots where Tidus' had been just seconds before. It was still too damp to wear, but it still managed to be of comfort to him—it was a symbol of Tidus' kindness, after all.

Cloud wanted to speak, to say something that might bring them closer, but he refrained. Thankfully, Tidus broke the silence for him.

"Cloud, I'm not ready to talk about... the battle tonight," Tidus started, making a point of leaving out Cecil's name. "But, thanks for what you said in the tent. It... did help."

Cloud looked up, hoping to meet Tidus' gaze, but Tidus' eyes were pointed toward the ground.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad."

Tidus opened his mouth again, but pressed it closed just as quickly. He thought about what Bartz had said, when he'd told Tidus that he might have to make the first move when patching things up with Cloud. Maybe Cloud _was_ still nervous to bring up the topic of their situation, but Tidus still wasn't sure if he was ready to make things right. After all, would they _ever_ really be right? What had changed between them that would make the relationship go differently this time around?

When Tidus said nothing more in response, Cloud let out a sigh, knowing they needed another distraction.

"I guess we should get some sleep," Cloud suggested.

"Yeah, I guess so." Tidus lay back in the grass, staring up into the blackness above him. Cloud sighed.

"I suppose this is it. No blankets, no tent," he said, pulling his damp shirt over his head.

"Hey, it's better than that bed of rocks, though. Do you remember that?" Tidus asked, as Cloud lay down beside him, easing himself to the ground so as not to hurt himself further.

"In that canyon? Yeah, I remember," Cloud replied, with a tiny smile, glancing over at his friend. Tidus smiled back before returning his gaze to the ebony sky.

"We gotta stop falling into holes and almost drowning," Tidus teased.

"I agree."

Cloud heard Tidus breathe in a couple of times, like he was opening his mouth to speak again, then stopping himself. Eventually, he gained enough courage to open up. Maybe he wasn't ready to risk fixing things, but he at least wanted to understand what had gone wrong.

"Cloud, why did you leave that night?" Tidus watched as Cloud's expression turned to an unsettled one, filled with both shock and guilt. It took him a minute to recover.

"I told you. I dreamt about some stuff. I got scared," Cloud replied, simply, feeling Tidus' eyes on him.

"Scared of what? Whatever it was, I could have helped you," Tidus told him, and Cloud was thankful that Tidus' tone was gentle, not fierce like he'd been expecting.

"Scared of disappointing Zack. Scared of hurting you. It doesn't really matter anymore, does it?" Cloud asked, softly, giving Tidus the opportunity to object; he hoped Tidus would take that chance, and tell him that it _did_ matter, that it was time they made amends, but the boy did no such thing.

"Yeah, maybe not," Tidus replied, with a sigh, but his heart was suddenly screaming at him not to dismiss the matter. If there was any hope of _ever_ repairing what they'd had, then he needed Cloud to be honest with him. Tidus needed to know Cloud's concerns before he could work on taking them away.

"Is there anything I could have done to help you?" Tidus tried.

"No," Cloud answered, quickly, shaking his head. "You were as supportive as you could be. The problem was with me. It was all along."

"I'm sure I was part of the problem, too. It takes two people to make a relationship work," Tidus tried to convince him, giving him a small smile of reassurance. Cloud stared at him a moment, before a sigh and a half-smile broke free.

"You're too kind, Tidus," he whispered.

They were quiet again, silently soaking up the night air. The fire was growing dimmer by the minute, but Tidus wasn't going to bother lighting it again when they were going to sleep anyway. Tidus listened to Cloud's soft breathing beside him, and he wished he didn't feel so comforted by it. His lingering feelings for Cloud only made it that much harder to let go. He felt he _should_ let go, but his heart begged him not to. He still cared for Cloud. Maybe he still even _loved_ Cloud, but was that enough?

"Tidus?" Cloud spoke up.

"Yeah?"

"The night I left... It wasn't because I didn't care about you."

"I know. You've said that before," Tidus replied, glancing in his companion's direction.

"Well, you should know I never wanted to hurt you. And... I'm sorry for letting you down like that," Cloud said, meeting Tidus' gaze. Cloud was surprised when Tidus' reaction was first shocked, then serious.

"That's the first time you actually apologized for it," Tidus replied, catching Cloud off guard.

"Really?" Cloud ogled.

"Yeah." Silence again.

"Hmm. Maybe I thought apologizing wouldn't help," Cloud said, drawing his eyes back to the black sky above him. He heard Tidus give a light chuckle.

"Sorry can go a long way with me," he smiled. Cloud wasn't sure how to reply, so he decided to keep his mouth shut. He felt Tidus shiver beside him, and he turned his head to look at him once again.

"You cold?" he asked.

"Yeah, aren't you?"

"I guess I wasn't in the water as much as you were."

"That's true," Tidus nodded, his words accompanied by another shiver. Cloud somehow gathered the courage to open his mouth again.

"I don't mind if you— I mean, if you're cold, you can... I'm here, okay?" Cloud fumbled. Tidus managed a quiet laugh before scooting in a little closer and rolling onto his side, his face pressing up against Cloud's chest.

"Wow, you're really good at this flirting thing," he smirked.

"I-I'm not flirting," Cloud stuttered.

Tidus snorted a laugh as he settled in close to Cloud, a few more mild shivers going through him before they began to die down, thanks to Cloud's body heat. Cloud felt Tidus' hand move to his chest, his fingers gently curling to clutch the material of his shirt. He sensed the tension return to Tidus' body, and he knew his mind was on Cecil again.

Cloud wanted so badly to fix things, to take away the pain. Tidus _deserved_ all the comfort in the world, but Cloud just didn't know how to give it. Eventually, he went with the only words that came to mind, the ones that hadn't left his mind in days.

"I've missed you," Cloud breathed, causing Tidus to immediately look up at him.

The sincerity in Cloud's voice, in his eyes—it was enough to make Tidus want to surrender, to let go of all the pain Cloud had put him through, and just start over. Tidus stared into Cloud's vibrant eyes, their gazes locking. All they wanted to do now was drown in each other.

Cloud raised a hand and delicately ghosted his fingers down Tidus' face. Tidus remained motionless, too shocked by the event to even react. Cloud remembered what Zidane had said: _just let him know you care_. It took all of Cloud's courage to make his next move, but he was thankful he did. He moved his face in a little closer to Tidus', his breath so warm on Tidus' lips that it caused the younger man to tremble. Cloud felt Tidus' free hand move to his waist, and he took that as a sign of consent.

In an instant, he captured Tidus' soft lips. Those lips returned his own sweet caresses, and Cloud couldn't deny he loved every second he spent in contact with them. It tore him apart when after only a few seconds, he felt Tidus pushing him away. Tidus sat up, a hand rushing up to cover his mouth. Cloud sat back in the grass, dumbfounded. He didn't move, didn't speak.

"What are we doing, Cloud?" Tidus asked, with a sigh, letting his hand fall to his side. Cloud swallowed.

"What do you mean?" he asked, though his voice was dreadfully weak.

"Is this ever going to work?" Tidus' brows were furrowed in concern, and Cloud suddenly felt like he had been kicked in the gut.

Perhaps he had underestimated the hell he had put Tidus through, but just moments ago, Tidus had seemed to accept his apology. All the mixed signals were beginning to give him a headache, but he knew he needed to sort them out now while they had the chance. They were alone together; that didn't happen too often anymore.

"I don't know. I'm _trying,_ " Cloud promised, voice low. "I don't know if I can heal as much as you want me to, but I'm doing the best I can." Tidus paused, frowning.

"As much as _I_ want you to?" he questioned. Cloud nodded.

"Cloud, I never wanted to _change_ you. I wanted to help you heal because I thought that's what _you_ wanted," Tidus told him, his face full of concern. It disturbed him that Cloud had thought that was his intention all along.

"You did?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah, I knew you were sad, and I thought you wanted to get over it. I thought you might just need a little help," Tidus said, his brows still creased with worry. Cloud was quiet for a minute, his gaze wandering to the ground.

"You weren't wrong. I _was_ sad, and sometimes, I _did_ want to get over it. I still do, but... there are still so many things that make it hard for me to do that."

"Like Zack?" Tidus bravely asked. Cloud nodded.

"Like Zack," he softly agreed, but for once, the hurt tone in his voice was gone.

The only times the hurt seemed to lessen were the times when he was with Tidus; Cloud realized that now. There were moments when letting Tidus in was painful, too—no doubt about it—but Tidus soothed Cloud; it was as simple as that. It hadn't always been that simple, but right now, that was all Cloud could see.

"The night I left, and so many times before that, I thought that being with you would only cause hurt. But ever since that night, I don't know..." Cloud trailed off, attempting to collect his thoughts. Tidus watched him so very carefully.

"I think I realized I was only hurting because you were _healing_ me. The things you said about Zack, they made sense, and I think I was coming to terms with those things without even realizing it. _You_ _are_ changing me, but I think it's for the better," Cloud explained, his eyes staring deep into Tidus', his brows curved into some sort of sad, yet honest, expression. "So, please, don't give up."

Cloud looked so helpless in that moment, defeated, like some part of him was dying, and Tidus hated to think he was the cause of it. Tidus opened his mouth again, but didn't say anything for the longest time. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to feel. All he knew was that he longed for that damaged look to disappear from Cloud's face, hopefully forever. That was all he'd wanted for months, and apparently, that goal hadn't changed.

"I want to help, Cloud," Tidus started, the words escaping him before he'd hardly thought them. "But only if you think it's possible to let me in."

"I _want_ to let you in," Cloud assured him. The quiet solemness took over once more, gazes flitting in every direction, but finally, Cloud found the words he really wanted to say.

"I have no idea if I can be everything you need, Tidus, but I know that I... I want to at least try," Cloud trailed off, hoping he didn't sound too sappy.

The road to healing _would_ be a long one, he was sure, and he didn't want to travel it with anyone but Tidus, but he didn't want to ask Tidus to take on a burden so great if he wasn't ready for the journey.

"I'm just scared that we'll end up like we did before. I can't take losing you over and over," Tidus admitted, his face twisted up into so much despair.

"One more chance. That's all I ask," Cloud requested, his eyes pleading with his companion to take him back. Tidus eyed him for a long moment. Cloud twitched under his unrelenting gaze. Those sea blue eyes that Cloud had adored for so long now held so much sadness, and so much doubt.

In that moment, Cloud knew that Tidus really was heartbroken. When he'd walked away that night, he'd known he had to. He had feared it, but now he _knew_ it. _He had_ broken Tidus' heart, every piece of it. He could still remember the day Tidus had taken Yuna into the woods to break off the relationship once and for all, and hoping that whatever happened between them would not cause Tidus any heartache. Now, Cloud had done that very thing, had caused Tidus the same pain that Cloud experienced every day. That was the pain he'd never wanted Tidus to suffer, and he would have to put every ounce he had into making Tidus trust him again.

"Let me sleep on it, okay?" Tidus asked, lying back down on the ground. When he felt Cloud trying to meet his gaze for what seemed like the millionth time, he let his eyes fall softly closed. Cloud swallowed hard and watched him for a minute before joining him in his position on his back.

"Okay," Cloud whispered, recognizing their conversation was over.

He knew Tidus was conflicted, probably dealing with about a hundred emotions at once. Cloud suppressed a sigh and rolled onto his side, silently damning himself. He was so close to getting Tidus back, but part of him feared he never would. Cloud realized the saying was true: sometimes it just wasn't possible to see a good thing until it was gone. How many times had Tidus made Cloud feel he was worth something, and Cloud hadn't even noticed?

Cloud's thoughts were interrupted when he felt Tidus roll in against his back, his familiar hands gripping the back of his shirt. He didn't question it, didn't comment or react. Maybe Tidus still needed the comfort for losing Cecil, maybe he was lonely for Cloud—or for _anyone_ , really—but Cloud didn't need an explanation. Knowing he was there for Tidus, regardless of why, was more than enough.

"Goodnight, Cloud," Tidus whispered. Relieved, Cloud felt an upward tug at the corners of his lips.

"Goodnight, Tidus."

Several silent minutes passed before Cloud heard quiet snores from the man behind him. Who knew what the morning would bring. Cloud simply focused on the way Tidus was curled in against him, and hoped it was a good sign of things to come.

 


	22. Accede

**Chapter 22: Accede**

"Rise and shine, sleepy head."

Cloud slowly opened his eyes, Tidus' chipper voice bringing him out of unconsciousness. Ocean blue irises met glowing turquoise ones. Cloud smiled softly as Tidus' face came into focus above him.

"Good morning," he whispered, voice groggy.

"The others are waiting for us. They've got a rope all ready," Tidus told him.

Cloud suppressed a sigh and pushed himself into a sitting position, feeling a little disappointed that their time alone was coming to a close. He couldn't believe morning had already arrived. It didn't seem that long ago that he had been so peacefully falling asleep with Tidus' warm body pressed close against him.

"No pain today?" Tidus asked, glancing at the small patch he had mended in Cloud's tattered clothing, and remembering the cut below it.

"No. It feels fine. Thanks," Cloud replied, his lips displaying a flicker of contentment; it was almost a smile, but it fell short.

Tidus nodded and flashed a grin before taking a few steps away to collect their supplies. His good mood came as a pleasant surprise to Cloud, and Cloud wanted to think that their time together had brought Tidus some peace, but he didn't let himself dwell on that possible success.

"Here you go," he said, tossing Cloud's bag over to him, which Cloud caught with little effort. Tidus buckled his sword to his side as Cloud stood up and threw his knapsack over his back.

"How's it going down there? Almost ready?" Zidane called down.

Tidus took a few steps forward and stared up at the opening that he and Cloud had fallen through the night before, holding a hand above his brow to block the sun's harsh rays. It was a relief to actually see his friends on the ground above, now that the daylight had come.

"Yup. Just about ready!" Tidus shouted back, eyeing the opening in the earth above, roots and small pebbles hanging down from the dirt, just waiting to fall into the water's depths.

Tidus turned to look behind him, and stifled a chuckle when he saw Cloud kneeling at the water's edge. Cloud dipped his gloved hands in the water, and brought them to his hair, smoothing out his spikes which were only a tad more tousled than usual.

"You look fine, you know?" Tidus smiled, and it was the truth. Of course, Tidus thought he looked far better than just 'fine'. Cloud's head shot to the side to look at him, obviously startled.

"I-I didn't realize you were watching," he mumbled, his gaze returning to the water. Tidus continued to grin as he took a few strides toward him, and offered him a hand. Cloud accepted it and Tidus pulled him to his feet.

"C'mon. They're waiting," Tidus smiled, swallowing the urge to brush the remaining droplets out of Cloud's hair, a motion that had actually become familiar to him over the past few weeks. Tidus turned to walk back into his companions' line of vision, but he felt Cloud's hand on his shoulder.

"Tidus... I hate to pester you, but—" Cloud started, but stopped when Tidus turned to face him.

"Just wait a little longer, 'kay? I... haven't made up my mind yet," Tidus replied, looking timid, or maybe just apologetic. Cloud backed up a little, as if Tidus' response had put an immediate distance between them.

"Of course. I'm sorry," Cloud uttered, his voice barely above a whisper, and his eyes darting toward the ground. He could feel his heart sinking, and his mind wandering.

His thoughts brought him back to that moment on the cliff with the Zack manikin—probably one of his most painful, yet favourite memories with Tidus—when for the first time, Tidus had provided Cloud with a genuine sense of comfort. He'd recognized in that moment that Tidus was someone who could truly be trusted through thick and thin. If Cloud could have started over from that moment now, he would have done things so differently. He would have tried to be stronger, braver. He would have let Tidus in from the very beginning.

"Hey." Tidus' voice brought Cloud's gaze back to meet his own. "Don't worry about it."

Cloud forced a smile when he saw Tidus' sincere one, and he tugged the Buster Sword out of the ground before following Tidus over to the hole in the ground above them.

"Finally. They're here," Bartz teased.

"Oh, shut it," Tidus groaned, rolling his eyes. Bartz laughed.

"Squall and I have a good hold on the rope," Firion announced, though neither Tidus nor Cloud could see him from where they stood. "Zidane and Bartz will grab on, too, whenever you're ready to climb."

"Okay!" Tidus shouted up, before turning to Cloud. "Do you want to go first, or will I?"

"You can go."

"'Kay."

Tidus waded into the water and grabbed the rope that dangled in the middle of the pool. "I'm coming up." Firion and Squall tightened their grip on the rope when they felt Tidus' weight on the other end. Bartz and Zidane hurried behind the other two and took hold of it as well, ready to do their part.

"This is kind of a déjà vu, isn't it?" Cloud voiced.

"Yeah, except this time there's no rock wall to climb up!" Tidus replied, with a chuckle. That was when Cloud realized how difficult it was going to be to reach the ground above. He tried to memorize the way Tidus was shimmying himself up the rope, and only hoped he would be able to do the same.

It took a few minutes for Tidus to reach the top, and after several minutes more, Cloud was relieved to find himself safely at the top as well. It was a rigorous climb, but thankfully, the two had athleticism and mako enhancements on their side.

"You didn't have much trouble getting up here," Tidus said, grinning.

"I guess not," Cloud replied, with a small smile. "I learned from the best."

Tidus beamed a little from the praise, and shyly averted his eyes. How much easier his decision would have been if Cloud had shown the same amount of kindness during their _entire_ journey.

Cloud turned and glanced down into the hole from which they'd escaped, and repressed a shiver.

"Must have been a pretty crumby night down there," Bartz said, with a sympathetic smile.

"It wasn't so bad," Tidus answered, shrugging his shoulders. He peeked at Cloud for a reaction, his lips almost in position to pout, his eyes curious.

"Mm-hmm," Cloud agreed, his face growing a little warm; he hoped none of their friends could see through him. "Not so bad." He was sure he saw Bartz hide a smile at his response.

"Okay. Ready to get a move on?" Zidane asked, practically bouncing on the spot, looking eager for the next battle.

"Just wait. Tidus and Cloud might need a minute to rest," Squall said, monotonously, as he placed a hand on Zidane's head, effectively ceasing his motion.

"I'm fine," Cloud spoke up.

"Yeah, me, too," Tidus nodded. Bartz somehow managed to stifle a laugh when Zidane stuck his tongue out at Squall without Squall's knowledge.

"Alright then. Let's keep moving. Hopefully we can find somewhere safe to rest up. I'd like to rethink our plan of action," Firion said, as he moved to the front of the line.

"I'm with you on that one," Zidane huffed. "Something doesn't feel right about Chaos' late night ambushes and crazy magic traps that send our friends tumbling into water pits!"

"Calm down, bud. They're okay," Bartz smiled, patting Zidane on the shoulder.

"Yeah, Tidus and Cloud are. But Cecil's not," Zidane harshly reminded him.

Cloud saw Tidus flinch, any ounce of ease vanishing from his face. His contentment transformed into sorrow in a matter of seconds, as if his smile had never been there at all. Tidus could feel Cloud watching him, and he feared that if he met his sympathetic gaze, he might break down again.

"Chaos is not going to get any more of us," Cloud announced, taking a step forward and catching everyone's attention. "We're going to fight them, and we're going to win."

Tidus caught Cloud's eye and he knew Cloud was trying to protect him from an uncomfortable conversation. Cloud could see a hint of Tidus' gratitude written across his solemn face.

"Cloud is right. Chaos can't break our spirits as long as we have our dreams," Firion agreed.

"So, chin up, Tidus. We'll get through this," Bartz smiled, as he threw a comforting arm around Tidus' shoulders. Normally, Tidus would have pushed him off and teased him for being such a goofball, but under the circumstances, he didn't feel like playing around.

"Thanks, guys," Tidus said, pushing forth a smile, though he was sure if anyone could see through it, it was Cloud, the one he least wanted to see him in a time of weakness.

If they had still been together, he wouldn't have minded—like the night they had first kissed, when Cloud had tried his best to soothe him, but that night had so many painful memories. Tidus couldn't risk losing Cloud again; it wasn't worth a momentary comfort. It was safer not to let his guard down only to be disappointed.

Bartz let go of Tidus, and followed behind Firion, Squall, and Zidane as they began their trek. Cloud hung back for a moment, keeping a watchful eye on Tidus.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," Tidus replied, a little too quickly.

"Tidus, I meant what I said. We're going to get back at Chaos, okay? You'll get your chance to fight for Cecil," Cloud told him, his tone firm and honest.

"Yeah," Tidus solemnly nodded. Cloud forced a tiny smile for Tidus' sake and gave him a quick pat on the shoulder.

"Cloud?"

"Mm?

"Does it help?" Tidus asked. Cloud frowned, clearly confused.

"Does what help?"

"Revenge. I mean, did you ever get a chance to fight... for _him_?"

Cloud swallowed, knowing Tidus meant Zack, and recognizing he was too nervous to say it. Images flashed in Cloud's mind. He'd taken down Shinra, he'd defeated Hojo, but had it really changed anything? Had he felt better?

"I guess, in your mind, it helps a little," Cloud answered, somewhat reluctantly.

He didn't want to give Tidus the wrong idea; he didn't want to make him hellbent on defeating Golbez, but when he thought back on things now, _he_ was relieved that _Hojo_ was gone. Hojo's demise meant that there wouldn't be more experiments, no more innocent victims like he and Zack had been. That alone let him sleep better at night.

"Just remember that even if you defeat the enemy, it won't bring back what was lost," Cloud said, slowly, making sure Tidus understood.

"I know," Tidus nodded; Cloud had taught him that much already. If there had been a way to revive the dead, then surely, Cloud wouldn't have been living his life in such solitude.

"Let's go. Speak up if you need a break," Cloud said, before turning to follow the others, but Tidus saw him pause a minute, like he was doing a double-take. They both hesitated a moment.

"What is it?" Tidus asked, looking around for some sign of what had caught Cloud's attention.

"I thought I saw..." Cloud started, but he trailed off, forehead creasing as his eyes remained fixed on a certain section of trees. "Never mind." Tidus watched Cloud walk off, and he shrugged off the event, too preoccupied with other thoughts to pay it any mind.

Tidus followed a few steps behind his companion, all the while staring at Cloud's strong back. It was hard to let go of the heartache that Cloud had caused him, but Cloud was obviously going to keep looking out for him, whether he wanted to be more than friends or not. Tidus felt safe knowing Cloud had his back, and he honestly felt a whole lot better when he was watching out for Cloud as well. They were at war with Chaos, and loyal comrades were essential in battle.

Tidus knew it probably wasn't the best time to make a decision about forgiving Cloud. His emotions were still running high from witnessing Cecil's death, and he knew if Cloud were too kind to him, he would be inclined to give him that second chance he so desired. Having Cloud care for him was all Tidus had wanted for months, but now that it was here, he was scared. He still needed convincing that Cloud wouldn't break his heart again. Last night, however, _had_ convinced him of one thing, and that one thing was for certain: he _did_ still love Cloud.

He loved Cloud's voice—the sound of it, the way he talked, the words he said that made Tidus uncustomarily calm. He loved Cloud's strength, and his loyalty to his companions, new and old. He loved how gentle and quiet Cloud could be when they were talking, or kissing, or even just sitting in silence, and how they could always be each other's rock, no matter what obstacle they were facing. And, of course, nothing made Tidus' heart beat faster than when Cloud smiled, and lately, Cloud's smiles—though usually still small—were more frequent, and directed at him. That was an accomplishment that Tidus still couldn't help but be proud of.

Yes, he loved Cloud. Desperately. Hopelessly. Maybe he always would. He just had to decide whether or not Cloud was worth the risk.

* * *

The group continued to walk for eight long hours before coming to a clearing in the trees. On the far side of the clearing was a long stretch of rock wall. It appeared to be a safe place to rest, despite reminding Cloud a little too much of a place he'd visited back home: that dreaded spot where Zack had left him when he'd gone to fight his final battle. Cloud ignored those thoughts to the best of his abilities while he and Bartz worked on getting a small meal cooking on the fire.

Meanwhile, Firion and Squall started to discuss their next move. Zidane convinced Tidus to relax for a bit by the fire, and the two of them watched silently as their friends prepared their supper. Everyone ate mostly in silence before setting up the tents for the night. Once the camp was assembled, they regrouped around the fire, ready to debate their plan of action.

"I know it's hard to talk about, but after what happened to Cecil, we need to be especially cautious," Firion announced, starting the meeting. This time, Tidus managed to keep himself calm at the mention of Cecil's name. Still, Cloud could see the pain in his eyes, even from across the burning fire.

"Obviously, the Chaos troops are no longer concerned about our numbers. They're going to attack us whether we're alone or not," Squall spoke up.

"What are you thinking, you guys? That we should split up?" Bartz asked, looking worried.

"Well, we're uncertain of what the best course of action might be. We're certainly more easily detected in a large group," Firion said, a hand resting pensively on his chin.

"On the other hand..." Squall started.

"It's dangerous if we're alone and we get attacked," Zidane cut in.

"Right," Bartz nodded.

"It's a constant dilemma, isn't it? We flip-flop between large groups and small ones, but we're never completely safe. So, what are you all thinking now? That we might try travelling in smaller groups again?" Cloud asked.

He felt Tidus' gaze flicker toward him, and his stomach flipped at the possibility of travelling with Tidus again. He immediately hushed that part of his brain that was becoming far too hopeful.

"It's certainly an option. I feel so uneasy. I am hesitant to suggest something that might put someone in danger," Firion answered.

Tidus dragged himself up, his arms feeling like lead at his sides as he stood. His eyes wandered to the ground and stayed there, far from the gazes of his companions.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault Cecil's gone," he announced, his voice steadier than any of his friends could have imagined, though his closed fists trembled violently at his sides. Firion stood a moment later and gently touched Tidus' shoulder.

"No one is blaming you, Tidus. It was an accident."

"Yeah, I know that. And I know I shouldn't dwell on it, but I won't feel better until I apologize, anyway," Tidus spoke again, this time his voice weakening a little.

"Tidus, you don't have to," Bartz told him. "You didn't do anything wrong." Cloud was unspeakably thankful that someone else was assuring Tidus of that.

"But, I did!" Tidus protested, shaking his head, gaze still too low to be met by anyone else's. "I should have been watching for other attacks before I tried to help you!"

Zidane was the next to stand up. _Wh_ _ack!_ Tidus' eyes grew wide with shock as the boy's fist collided with his face. Silence struck the rest of the group; they were as startled as Tidus was.

Tidus put a hand to his tender right cheek and precariously met Zidane's gaze; when he did, Zidane's eyes were fierce, burning with emotion.

"You have to snap out of this right now, Tidus! We all miss Cecil, but if you let the guilt swallow you, then it's like we lost you, too!" Zidane shouted, somehow managing to keep those damned emotions from forming tears.

Tidus' jaw fell a little, making him look more lost than ever. Cloud eyed him intently, watching as his chin trembled, just praying he wouldn't cry; he was pretty sure Tidus hated crying in front of people.

"What are you talking about?" Tidus asked, voice meek.

"You're one of the only ones here who manages to smile when things get bad. And right now, we really need that," Zidane answered, his words quieting the more he spoke.

"I think what Zidane means is..." Bartz started, standing up. "Your optimism gives us hope, Tidus. We just want to see you get over this as quickly and as easily as possible."

"It's just hard when... when Cecil jumped in to save _me_ ," Tidus reminded them, his head hanging low. Cloud's arms rested on his knees, and he folded his hands in front of him, taking in a deep breath before speaking.

"Grief and guilt... Those feelings are to be expected when something like this happens. Tidus will need some time to recover." Cloud's words seemed to catch everyone's attention, and while Zidane looked a little put off by them, Tidus' teary eyes appeared thankful.

"Cloud is right, Zidane. It may take a few days before Tidus starts to feel better. That goes for all of us," Firion explained. Zidane folded his arms, and stared downward.

"Come on, Zidane. Let's get some rest," Bartz gently offered, forcing a smile and trying to coax Zidane away from the rest of the group. Zidane shrugged Bartz's arm off of his shoulders.

"I can walk on my own," he muttered, heading for the tent. Bartz gave an apologetic sigh to the others, and followed after Zidane.

Tidus remained with his gaze on the ground, and he rubbed his arm awkwardly in hopes of distracting himself from the situation. Cloud stood up, and pushed forward a soft half-smile.

"Come on. Sit down by the fire," Cloud murmured, his gentle voice making Tidus give in.

Tidus allowed Cloud's hand to guide him to the rock beside him and they sat down together. Firion watched them carefully, feeling relieved that he wasn't the only one who liked to keep a watchful eye on Tidus, especially when he was feeling out of sorts.

"So, what's our plan?" Squall asked, looking up from the fire.

"Perhaps we _should_ try breaking into smaller groups. What do you think, Cloud?" Firion asked, taking a seat once more. Cloud silently pondered before answering.

"Smaller groups does give us the advantage of moving faster. Plus, there's less worry of getting spotted, like you said."

"Agreed," Squall added.

"Tidus, do you want to travel with Cloud again?" Firion asked, his gaze flickering toward his somber friend. Tidus managed a nod.

"Yeah, that's fine," he answered.

"Cloud?" Firion asked, just to make sure.

"Of course, that's no problem," Cloud assured him.

"I imagine that leaves you and I, Squall. I assume Zidane and Bartz will want to travel together as well," Firion said, waving toward the boys' tent. Squall replied with a nonchalant nod.

"Well, I guess I'll turn in for the night," Firion spoke up. He stifled a yawn as he glanced at the moon that shone between the few tiny clouds in the sky.

"Yeah. We could use some rest," Cloud agreed, rising to his feet. Squall and Tidus followed their lead after a moment. Cloud reached for the water bucket and quickly extinguished the fire.

"Goodnight, everyone," Firion smiled, before retiring to his tent along with Squall.

"Goodnight," Cloud bade in return. He could hear Tidus' quiet footsteps behind him as he headed for their own tent, and he smiled gently as he unzipped the tent door for his friend.

"Thanks," Tidus said, softly, as he entered, ducking under Cloud's arm as the canvas was held out of the way. Cloud followed him in and closed the tent door behind them. Tidus quickly flopped onto his back and sprawled his limbs out on his sleeping bag. Cloud was quick to sit down beside him.

"Rough day?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Yeah," Tidus replied, sounding drained. Cloud adjusted his sleeping bag a little before wriggling his way inside it. He lay staring up at the inside of the tent for a moment before turning his head toward Tidus.

"What Zidane said to you... He was just upset. Everyone has a different way of dealing with this sort of thing."

"Yeah, I know," Tidus sighed.

"You okay?" Cloud asked, his eyes scanning Tidus' stony face for some change in expression, but saw none. He wished Tidus would just look at him. Maybe then he could read him.

"I will be." They fell silent, and Tidus hesitated for a long time before continuing to speak.

"Thanks for standing up for me back there," he managed. "It meant a lot."

"Oh," Cloud smiled, softly, a little surprised by his friend's vocal display of gratitude. "You're welcome," Cloud nodded.

Several more wordless moments passed before Cloud turned his attention back to the tent walls. With a heavy exhale, he folded his hands on top of his sleeping bag. He heard Tidus release a tired sigh as he, too, clambered into his sleeping bag. He tossed around a few times before settling on his back. It pained Cloud to see him so restless.

"Cloud?" Tidus whispered.

"Yeah?" Cloud felt Tidus' fingers searching for him, and a warmth came over him when Tidus found his hand.

"Is it okay if I...?"

"Sure," Cloud said, softly, a sad smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.

Tidus' fingers linked with his own, and they let their hands fall softly into the space between their sleeping bags. Tidus let out another sigh, but this one contained relief. Cloud was here for him, and maybe there was no point in holding back anymore; Tidus was tired of trying anyway.

"Cloud, that second chance you wanted..."

"Hmm?" Cloud turned his head toward Tidus in anticipation, his stomach turning with worry.

Tidus met his eyes; they were so scared, and were asking Tidus for so much, but all Tidus wanted to do was give him what he sought. Even after discovering Tidus' feelings for him, even through all their rough patches, Cloud had never stopped trusting him. It was time Tidus returned the favour. He could see the desperation in Cloud's eyes; Cloud wanted the chance to prove himself, and Tidus wanted to see what he would do with that opportunity. He wanted to find out if their story could have a happier ending this time.

"You can have it," Tidus said, finally meeting Cloud's gaze.

Cloud's heart fluttered with excitement, then pounded with relief. Their eyes stayed locked for a long moment, and they relaxed as the faintest, softest smiles crossed their weary faces. Tidus squeezed Cloud's hand, and Cloud let out a timid chuckle as his eyes wandered back to the ceiling of the tent.

"Thank you, Tidus," he whispered, brushing a thumb over the back of Tidus' hand.

"Don't let me down," Tidus peacefully sighed, as his sleepy eyes fell closed.

"I won't," Cloud promised.

He breathed in deeply, and summoned his courage. His fears and concerns would have to lie in the past from now on. The world was giving him a second chance for happiness; Tidus was giving him a second chance to make things right, and he would give it his all not to let it go to waste.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yay! The boys are together again! Don't blow it this time, Cloud!
> 
> Well, it's been a while since I left a note, so here it is! Just wanted to point out that the little hints of Firion/Tidus that I left along the way (there are a few in this chapter) are in here for my friend, samulett! Hope you're enjoying the Tirion, pal:D She and I were also talking about how cool it would be to do some little oneshots about what happens off-screen between Zidane and Bartz (particiularly as they disappear into the tent together in this chapter). Haha, I'm a fan of them as well. Can't you tell?
> 
> Sorry for the slight delay in this chapter, also. It took me a little longer to get it up than I originally planned, but life's been more than a little hectic lately. Anyway, thank you to everyone who has been PM-ing me, leaving comments, kudos, and likes on the shrine! You all rock, and thank you so much for all your support! I love hearing from fellow Clidus fans, so please, keep it up:D


	23. Repair

**Chapter 23: Repair**

The next morning flew by. After eating a small breakfast, the warriors packed up their gear, and headed in their separate directions. Tidus was full of anticipation as he set out once more on his journey with Cloud. Part of him couldn't stop wondering what might happen between them now that they were starting anew. Another part of him was terrified things might be awkward between them, but he promised himself he would do whatever it took to ease the tension.

So far, things had gone smoothly. Even without Bartz's constant chattering, and Firion's strategy planning, Cloud and Tidus had managed to make some light, pleasant conversation. As morning passed, however, and a warm afternoon set in, the small smiles and timid glances soon became less frequent.

"Did we already come this way?" Tidus asked, scanning the trees around him, a slight frown on his face as he tried to decipher where he was. The sun was hot as the two travelled, making the voyage all the more frustrating. Their sweat-soaked clothes stuck to them uncomfortably as they walked.

"I don't know," Cloud answered, with a sigh. His eyes darted around the surrounding area, but he was unable to find any sign of the way they had travelled.

"Ugh, let's take a break," Tidus groaned, letting himself fall onto his back. He took a few deep breaths before pushing himself to sit up. Cloud took another good look around before opting to join Tidus on the ground. He hugged his knees and turned his head toward his companion.

"I saw you talking to Zidane this morning before we left. What did he say to you?"

"He apologized for hitting my face," Tidus explained, with a very slight smirk.

"Oh. So, you two are okay?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah, I guess we're okay."

"That's good to hear."

A breeze blew past the two, and they both let out sighs of relief as it momentarily cooled their overheated bodies. Tidus closed his eyes and leaned his head back, wishing that breeze would linger, but it didn't. Cloud glanced over at him, his eyes analyzing that beautiful form. Tidus' golden brown skin glistened in the sunlight, his eyes concealed behind his thick, dark lashes. Even with his hair and clothes damp with perspiration, Tidus still managed to take Cloud's breath away, and Cloud suddenly found himself wondering how he had kept himself from falling for him long ago.

Tidus opened his eyes as another small gust of wind ruffled his hair. He looked in Cloud's direction and raised his brows when he saw the way Cloud was looking at him.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Cloud smiled, bashfully.

Tidus smiled back, a suspicious look on his face, like he knew Cloud had been admiring him. Cloud averted his gaze as embarrassment got the better of him.

"Shall we hit the road again?" he asked.

"Probably," Tidus sighed.

Cloud was the first to stand, and he helped Tidus to his feet. Tidus yawned, throwing his arms up towards the sky. Cloud wasn't surprised he hadn't slept well; how could he with so many thoughts going through his head?

Cloud brushed himself off while Tidus looked around the forest again, hands on his hips.

"Well, we might as well just pick a direction and get going," Tidus said, turning around to face Cloud. "Which way do you wanna go?"

"I don't know if it matters," Cloud replied, with a shrug. "If I had to guess, I thought we were headed that wa—"

Cloud immediately stopped talking when he saw the change in Tidus' expression.

"Look out!" Tidus shouted, pushing Cloud to the side and raising his sword to block the fire spell that was coming their way. He was thankful when his blade extinguished the flame.

"Good reflexes, kid," came Jecht's gruff voice. Cloud turned toward the voice, and watched as the hefty man approached. Cloud didn't even have to look at Tidus to sense the tension that had suddenly filled his body.

"You again," Tidus scowled, though his voice was a little weaker than usual, his heavy emotions weighing on him more than he would have liked.

"What? No hug for your old man?" Jecht mocked. The grimace on Tidus' face increased. When Jecht was met only with silence, he spoke up again.

"What's been taking you so long? Why haven't you come to fight me yet?" Jecht asked, adjusting his heavy-looking sword so that it rested on his muscular shoulder. Tidus seemed to be avoiding his father's gaze.

"I've had a lot on my mind," Tidus replied, softly.

"Like your friend dyin'?" Tidus' head snapped upward at the sound of Jecht's harsh words. His jaw dropped a little, his brows curving into a sorrowful look as he finally met Jecht's crimson eyes.

"How did you know about that?" Cloud demanded, when Tidus seemed unable to speak.

"I was there, remember? And I saved your asses that night, too," Jecht replied, smirking.

"What do you mean?" Tidus demanded, clenching his fists as his courage returned.

"Golbez and the Emperor were ready to terminate you guys. I lied to get 'em to come back to Chaos for a bit. Gave you all a chance to escape," Jecht went on.

"Why would you do that?" Cloud asked, a fierce look on his face to make sure Jecht knew he wasn't afraid.

"Ah, what does it matter?" Jecht sighed.

Tidus' scowl dwindled a little. That night was a blur to him—a big, messy, horrible blur—but he did have some memory of his father showing up. Perhaps ol' Jecht still had some good in him after all. Not much, but maybe a smidgen.

"Thing is, Chaos wants us to fight soon. He'll have my hide if I don't get you to Dream's End as fast as I can," Jecht said.

"Dream's End. I don't even know how to get there," Tidus told him, shrugging his shoulders, voice weak and defeated. Jecht began to walk toward his son, and Tidus held his breath as Jecht rested a heavy arm on his shoulder.

"That way," Jecht instructed, pointing in between two of the trees that Tidus and Cloud had been analyzing earlier. "Walk until you come across a gate. That portal will take you there."

Jecht lifted his hand, and Tidus sank a little, even with the weight of his father's arm gone. He let out a sigh of relief when Jecht walked away from him, heading toward the opening in the trees that he had just pointed out. The man halted a moment, and turned back to his son.

"Remember. As soon as you can. I don't want one of those other Chaos lackeys killin' my target before we get a chance to fight," he said, walking backwards and pointing once again toward their destination with his thumb. He turned back around and headed on his way, and neither Tidus nor Cloud made any motion until the enemy had fully disappeared from sight.

"Tidus?" Cloud eventually asked.

Tidus didn't move, didn't speak. Cloud took a few steps forward, and turned to stand in front of Tidus so he could look him directly in the eye. Tidus eventually blinked and his gaze fell to the ground.

"It had to happen sometime, huh?" he shrugged.

"You okay?" Cloud asked, frowning as he analyzed Tidus' expression, hoping to figure out what was going on in his head.

"Yeah, let's go," Tidus answered, pressing forward into the trees where his father had disappeared. Cloud was startled by his sudden determination, and had to jog a few steps to catch up.

"Tidus! Tidus, you don't have to do this right away. Do you even have the strength to fight right now?" Cloud queried, continuing to run so he could keep up with Tidus' brisk pace.

"I'm fine, Cloud. You're the one who got hurt the other night," Tidus replied, still walking, and refusing to face his partner. Cloud grabbed his arm and effectively brought him to a halt. Tidus was forced to look at him.

"You know that's not what I meant," Cloud said, voice stern.

The sadness returned to Tidus' face. Cloud let go of his arm, and Tidus ran his hands through his hair, looking distressed. He closed his eyes, and Cloud thought he might be fighting back tears.

"I don't know what to do," Tidus admitted, weakly. Cloud bravely proceeded toward him and gently lowered his hands from his hair. Their fingers remained linked for a few seconds before drifting back down to their sides.

"You don't have to rush into this. Let's just take our time and find the gate. Who knows how far away it is. We may have lots of time before you have to fight," Cloud told him, a hand coming to rest on his shoulder. Tidus looked up and met Cloud's gentle eyes, and soon gave a small nod.

"Okay," he replied, softly.

"Okay," Cloud answered, equally gently. "Now, let's just take a breather."

Tidus obeyed as Cloud led him over to a tall, shady tree. They sat down together, and Tidus leaned back against the tree trunk, fanning himself emphatically. Cloud could tell he was still pretty exasperated, and obviously uncomfortable from the heat.

"Of course, he would show up at a time like this," Tidus muttered.

"Tidus."

"I'm _so_ not in the mood to deal with—"

"Tidus," Cloud tried again, catching Tidus' flailing wrist in midair. Tidus stopped fanning himself, and met Cloud's tranquil eyes.

"You'll make yourself warmer if you do that," Cloud explained, gently. "Just relax."

Cloud lowered Tidus' hand back down, and Tidus nodded as he attempted to regulate his breathing, making it come out less like panting and more like normal exhaling. Cloud tugged his knapsack off of his back, and opened it up. He rooted through it leisurely, wanting Tidus to know it was okay to take their time.

"It _is_ awfully warm," Cloud affirmed, taking a drink from his canteen when he finally retrieved it. He passed it over to Tidus, who gratefully took a swig of it as well, before Cloud tucked it away in his bag again.

"Are you alright?" Cloud asked again, just to make sure.

"I will be. It's just... all a little hard to take in," Tidus sighed. He reached for his suspenders, and pushed them off of his shoulders. He carefully slipped his shirt off, and stuffed it into his knapsack, far too warm to wear it at the moment.

"With Cecil, and the group splitting up, and my old man..."

"Your shoulder," Cloud interjected, eyeing the line of stitches that he had placed there a couple of weeks ago.

"Oh, yeah. No one took them out yet," Tidus answered, glancing down at Cloud's handiwork.

"May I—?"

"'Course," Tidus nodded, and Cloud scooted forward, inspecting the spot where the sickening injury had been. A long, narrow lump remained under the black threads—a bit of a nasty scar, but it could have been far worse without Cloud's level of medical training—and Cloud silently praised himself for a job well done.

"It healed pretty well. They should probably come out," Cloud said, digging in his bag once again.

"Fine by me. They get kind of annoying after a while," Tidus agreed, watching as Cloud found his med kit. Cloud placed it on the ground, and dug inside until he found some small clippers. Tidus hated to admit he was a little nervous when Cloud raised them to his shoulder.

"H-hey, you sure you know what you're doing? Where'd you learn this stuff?" he asked, voice playful, but Cloud could hear the hint of anxiety. Cloud was just glad Tidus had been unconscious when he'd had to perform the suture on his bleeding skin.

"At Shinra. Back in my army days," Cloud answered, calmly, an unusual look of contentment on his face.

Tidus watched his eyes carefully; he actually looked sort of proud in that moment, happy to be of assistance. Tidus was so focused, he didn't realize the first stitch had even been clipped until he felt Cloud tugging it free of his skin.

"Huh. I thought it would hurt," Tidus commented, brows raised in amazement.

"This was one part of training I was pretty good at," Cloud smiled, softly, continuing his work.

Tidus' gentle gaze remained on Cloud's face, so deep in concentration, and Tidus found himself wondering what Cloud had been like back in his days at Shinra. Had he been youthful and innocent? Had he been eager for battle, ready to learn anything the more experienced soldiers could teach him? Most importantly, had he been happy?

"Listen, Tidus," Cloud spoke up, grabbing Tidus' attention. "Don't focus on too many problems at once, okay? Deal with them one at a time."

"Yeah. I know," Tidus replied, letting his head fall tiredly onto his good shoulder—partly with the intention of giving Cloud more room to work. At least three stitches must have been gone by now. Maybe more. He was trying not to focus on them.

"Don't think about your fight with Jecht until we reach the gate. And as far as Cecil goes—"

"Do you think he's happy? Wherever he is, I mean?" Tidus quickly interjected, catching Cloud by surprise. Now it was Cloud's turn to look at Tidus, but as he did, Tidus' gaze tumbled downward. Cloud stopped his work, and lowered his hands from Tidus' shoulder.

He paused there, just watching Tidus' expression. He knew things were different now. Losing Cecil had definitely put him and Tidus on the same page. The advice that Tidus had once given Cloud, the words that had made Zack's death easier to cope with, was now the same advice Tidus was seeking in return. Maybe Tidus was testing Cloud, hoping to see if Cloud really did see things the same way as he had.

Tidus was disappointed to find Cloud speechless. Turquoise eyes fluttered open and closed as Cloud searched his mind for answers. Tidus merely shook his head.

"I miss him," he whispered.

"We all do," Cloud managed. "Loss brings about loneliness."

"I'm sick of loneliness. Yours, mine. Everyone's," Tidus mumbled.

Cloud cocked his head to the side as he was hit with that revelation. Cloud had never been the only lonely one. Tidus had been seeking an end to his loneliness maybe even as long as Cloud had. Cloud realized that now.

Tidus had endured so much loss and pain of his own. He'd grown up with a family that hadn't given him the appreciation he deserved. He'd lost his father to Sin, watched his mother as death took her, and afterwards was raised by someone who was hardly more than a stranger to him. He'd been torn from his home in Zanarkand, he had discovered the fragility of his own existence and disappeared, only to be brought back and grow apart from the woman he'd loved. He had been rejected—for a time—by the next interest he'd laid eyes on, and finally, he'd been the reason why a dear comrade had taken a fatal blow. Only if he were made of stone could he endure all that and come out unscathed.

As Cloud looked at him now, he saw so much more than before. Tidus always had been better than most at dealing with hardships, but at the end of the day, he was still human. If anything, knowing that made Cloud appreciate him even more. There were some things that even Tidus couldn't shrug off with a mere smile and encouraging words. Cecil's death was one of those things, and Tidus _trusted_ Cloud enough to let him see his vulnerable side that had emerged because of it. He knew he didn't _always_ have to be the strong one. He had helped Cloud become stronger, and now, Cloud was ready to return the favour; he could help Tidus carry those cursed weights upon his shoulders.

" _You're lonely_ ," Cloud said, barely above a whisper.

"Yeah. Sometimes," Tidus nodded, weakly. "I just don't want to lose anyone else."

"Well, a while ago, you got me thinking..." Cloud started, breathing deeply as he carefully chose his words. "If I believe my friends are okay, wherever they are, then maybe I can be at peace, too."

He raised his hands again, eyes asking Tidus' permission before he continued clipping yet another stitch, and gently pulling it free of Tidus' skin.

"I think you have to believe Cecil's okay, as well, because I know he wouldn't want to see you suffer," Cloud finished. Tidus eyed him curiously.

"Believing your friends are at peace. Is that what made you change your mind... about us?" he queried, the dark tone in his voice fading a little.

" _A lot_ of things you said made me change my mind."

"Yeah?" Their eyes met, and Cloud smiled gently, pleased to know the new turn in the conversation was becoming a good distraction for Tidus.

"You were right about a lot of things. The way I was before, when I was alone... That... just wasn't living. It wasn't what my friends would have wanted for me. Besides, if I start cutting myself off from the people who care about me—the people who are in my life _now_ —then I really _will_ be alone."

"And that's why?"

"That, and... Well," Cloud said, chuckling softly. "What else can I say? You grew on me."

The look in his eyes when he said that was one that Tidus would never forget; Cloud meant every word he said. His eyes gleamed with admiration, the corners of his mouth were pulled up into a relaxed smile. Tidus really did mean something to Cloud, and it was the first time Tidus knew it for sure; it wasn't often that Cloud opened up with a statement as honest as that one.

"Oh. Oh, I—" Tidus started, but realized he didn't have an equally captivating response. Instead, he decided humour was more his style.

"You sayin' I'm an acquired taste?" he teased, eyes half-lidded, pretending to be unimpressed.

"No," Cloud shook his head, though visibly amused. "It just takes time for me to warm up to people."

Tidus mulled over those words while Cloud finished with the last of the stitches. Cloud tenderly grazed a finger over the newly exposed skin, brushing it clean; Tidus' eyes were glued to that spot. It wasn't the remaining evidence of damage that held his attention; it was the way Cloud's thumb had become so used to resting there on his shoulder, it was like second-nature.

"All done," Cloud announced, pulling his hand away, much to Tidus' disappointment. He swiftly tucked his supplies back in his med kit, and returned the kit to his bag.

"You're kind of inspiring, you know that?" Tidus spoke up, mustering a small smile. Cloud's surprised eyes met Tidus' serene ones, and the Ex-SOLDIER lowered his shy gaze.

"I don't know about that," he chuckled, lightly, but he felt Tidus' hand on his chin a second later, pulling him back to face him. Their eyes met—Tidus' so confident, Cloud's uncertain. Tidus started to lean in, but Cloud managed to turn his face enough to avoid the kiss.

"Are you sure? You're sure you want to give me that second chance?" Cloud asked.

Tidus bit his lip, and pushed aside the lingering ounces of hurt. Cloud had been backing him up ever since they had separated the last time. He had been so kind, he had offered so many encouraging words, and tender smiles. Cloud had proven himself. He deserved another try.

"I'm sure," Tidus grinned. He leaned in again, but Cloud dodged him.

"Someone might be watching," he whispered, his eyes darting around to take in his surroundings. Tidus lightly pressed his forehead against Cloud's—close contact that he'd been wanting for so long, it was actually a relief to have it—but Cloud's head was turned just enough to avoid his lips.

"Forget about them," Tidus breathed.

Cloud shivered at the feeling of Tidus' warm breath on his chin, even despite the heat of the sun. He had won back Tidus' trust; he had earned this reward.

Cloud's eyes flickered up to meet Tidus', silently giving him permission to proceed. Tidus understood the sign of consent, and hurriedly pressed his lips up against Cloud's. He felt Cloud's hand come to rest once more on his healed shoulder, and he thought he might drown in his happiness as Cloud's soft lips kissed him back.

The kisses they had shared two evenings ago paled in comparison to this one. All the tension that they had been feeling for so long instantly fell away. They had been avoiding this all morning, thinking it might be awkward or ill-timed, but right now it was perfect, and it was necessary. Their lips stayed locked for several seconds before Tidus broke the contact. They stared at each other after they parted, both smiling gently as Tidus' fingers trailed their way down Cloud's face.

"A make-up kiss?" Cloud asked, face glowing with joy as he took in the sight of Tidus' contentment—all traces of unease and discomfort were gone. They were finally here, together, and _wanting_ to be so. Most importantly, they were happy.

"Was it good for you?" Tidus teased. Cloud gave a small chortle.

"Yeah, it was."

"C'mon," Tidus laughed. "Let's keep moving." He hated to end the moment, but if they didn't concentrate on their mission, they would never get anything done. Tidus stood and helped Cloud up from the ground.

As Cloud stood, his hand slowly wandered down to Tidus' back and helped turn him around in the right direction—the direction in which Jecht had pointed them. Cloud kept his hand there for a minute, guiding Tidus as they began to walk again, this time at a more reasonable pace. Cloud's hand eventually fell away, but Tidus could still feel Cloud's warmth, his constant benevolence toward him. Tidus' stomach began to swirl with anxiety as he imagined the upcoming battle. He couldn't quite manage a smile, but it was okay. For once, Cloud was smiling for him.

* * *

"This must be it, huh?" Tidus asked. There was dismay in his voice that couldn't go unnoticed. A large archway constructed of grey stone stood before them. From its centre came a purplish glow, streaks of white and pink throughout it. Cloud took a few steps forward to better examine it.

"Must be," Cloud nodded.

It was almost dusk now, and Cloud was thankful that they had eaten earlier in the evening so that their only nighttime prep was to set up the tent— _if_ he could convince Tidus not to duel with Jecht tonight.

Cloud dropped his gear on the ground, and walked over to a spot a few feet away that looked like it would be a good campsite. There were a few trees around which would give them a bit of shelter. Cloud glanced back at Tidus.

"This looks like a good spot for the tent," he said. Tidus still stood by the gate, staring into it as if it held his entire future. Perhaps it did.

"Come on, Tidus. You'll be better off fighting him after you've gotten some sleep," Cloud tried to persuade him.

"What if I can't sleep?" Tidus asked. Cloud watched him carefully, trying to come up with some way to convince him whilst still showing empathy. Cloud walked forward and Tidus reluctantly turned to face him.

"Just try, okay? You're tired, you're overheated, _and_ you're still upset about Cecil, which is making everything seem a lot worse," Cloud reminded him, letting a hand travel up to Tidus' hair and brush gently through it.

Cloud was suddenly aware of the fact that Tidus stood a few inches taller than him. Under the circumstances, it made him feel a little powerless, like he couldn't comfort Tidus as well as Tidus always seemed to comfort him.

"I don't know, Cloud. I feel like I have to do this," Tidus tried to explain, turning back to face the gate.

Cloud was behind him in a second, his hands gently holding Tidus' arms, keeping him still. He could feel Tidus' muscles twitching beneath his fingertips, like he was going to bolt through the gate at any second. Cloud felt himself start to panic, and he quickly wracked his brain for some way to prevent Tidus from hightailing it out of there.

"Please," Cloud begged.

Tidus froze as he felt Cloud's face behind his ear, his body pressed against his back. He wasn't used to such advances from his reserved companion, but he couldn't say he didn't enjoy it. His body twitched with excitement as he felt Cloud move even closer against him, pressing forward until he was close enough to touch his lips to Tidus' cheek. They lingered there for a whole three seconds before pulling away with a soft caress.

"Wait until morning. I don't want you getting hurt," Cloud whispered, heart pounding in his surprisingly fearless chest. He ended his bold move by letting go of Tidus' now frighteningly still body—he had confidence that his surprise kiss would be enough to make Tidus stay put for now.

Cloud turned to pick up his gear from the ground before walking over to his spot under the trees. Tidus waited another minute or two, gaze dashing between Cloud and the gate. He eventually gave in and tore his eyes away from the dreaded gateway, deciding to give Cloud a hand with the tent. Cloud was right. Jecht would still be waiting for him in the morning.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Heyo! First of all, yes, Tidus is taller than Cloud, and it is canon, haha. Not that anyone cares about canon here. Google it if you don't believe me, though:)
> 
> And, as always, I want to give a big thanks to everyone who's been sending me feedback, kudos, PMs, etc. I'm so excited to hear from some new people who have started reading this story, and of course, the old faithfuls who have been with me since the beginning! Thank you, thank you!
> 
> I'm really looking forward to uploading the next chapter. It's one of my favourites, so make sure you're back here in two weeks for the update! YAY! Thanks for reading, fellow Clidus fans!


	24. Forward

**Chapter 24: Forward**

Cloud awoke with a start. A feeling of dread pulsed through his veins as he realized he was alone in the tent. He glanced over at the dent in Tidus' sleeping bag and sighed, mind rushing back to the night before. Once they'd made it inside the tent, they hadn't said a word. They'd simply discarded their boots and armour and lay down on top of their sleeping bags, finding it still too warm to bundle up in them.

Cloud remembered how Tidus had rolled in against his back and draped an arm over his waist. He'd held him like that for most of the night. After being so close, Cloud had been confident that Tidus would have alerted him before he went off to fight his father, but perhaps this was something he wanted to do alone.

Cloud got up and exited the tent, mouth popping open with a mix of surprise and relief when he saw Tidus sitting campfire-style on the ground, his back to the gateway. He was clothed in his usual shirt again, his gauntlet back in place on his arm. Obviously, he'd been wasting no time in preparing for the fight ahead.

Tidus looked up at Cloud and gave a smile as he stuffed a piece of bread into his mouth; he was thankful Firion had provided him with some rations before parting, even if it _was_ only bland old bread. Cloud smiled fondly and moved to sit by his side.

"You're looking good."

"Aren't I always?" Tidus teased. Cloud's head dropped down and he let out an embarrassed chuckle, though silently happy that Tidus' good mood had returned.

"I mean, you look well rested," Cloud corrected him.

"I know what you meant," Tidus smiled, when Cloud met his gaze again. Tidus stuffed a hand into the knapsack that lay beside him, and pulled out another piece of bread for Cloud, which Cloud gratefully accepted.

"You feeling better? I haven't seen you smile this much in days," Cloud acknowledged.

It was refreshing—comforting, even—to see the upward curl at the corners of Tidus' mouth, to see the light back in his eyes, and his shoulders relaxed. That grin of his was wide and natural, as it normally was—so unlike the strained one he had worn only now and then over the past few days—and it filled Cloud with an ease that he hadn't felt in what seemed like far too long.

"You know, I _do_ have a good feeling about this fight. I was really scared leading up to this moment because I've never fought him on my own, but now that I'm here..." Tidus said, trailing off.

Cloud tilted his head a little, waiting for the rest of his response. When Tidus only replied with a small smirk, Cloud smiled.

"Last night wouldn't have improved your mood any, would it?" he inquired, and Tidus picked up on the slight playfulness in his tone.

Tidus shrugged, grinning. It was hard to finally spend a night with Cloud in his arms and not feel better. Nights like that had been a long time coming, and knowing that Cloud felt close enough to him to let him hold him like that... It made Tidus feel like a million gil.

"Maybe," Tidus pouted, earning an adoring glance from Cloud. "I just... I feel like maybe I can do this, you know?" Tidus beamed, catching Cloud's eye again. Cloud nodded and gave him a small, proud smile.

"I believe you can, too."

They continued to eat their bread in comfortable silence. The chirping birds around them made up for the lack of conversation. The sun was beating down on them again, but it wasn't as warm as it had been the afternoon before. It seemed like a perfect day, which significantly boosted Tidus' confidence. The change in his demeanor was nice, but Cloud still couldn't help but feel it was a little odd.

"You're sure you're okay? Before, you seemed pretty upset about going into this fight," Cloud reminded him.

He couldn't forget that night, after encountering Jecht and Kefka, when Tidus had broken down before his eyes. Tidus had been terrified back then, and for the life of him, Cloud couldn't figure out what had changed to make that fear go away.

"I'll be okay. I mean, yeah, I'm nervous, but not really because I think I'll lose." Tidus looked up to see the confused look Cloud was giving him.

"Last time was just... kind of emotional."

"Because you defeated him?"

"Well, yeah," Tidus said, and Cloud could tell he was hesitating—maybe holding back. Tidus released a sigh, and raised a hand to the back of his head, ruffling his hair.

"I might've, um... cried. Just a little," he admitted, sheepishly.

Cloud watched him through curious eyes. It was clear to him that Tidus was ashamed of that fact, but he wanted to let him know he didn't have to be. There were times when Cloud wished he could show a little sympathy for his rivals, but he'd trained himself too well to be made of stone.

"That's understandable," Cloud replied, grabbing Tidus' attention. Their gazes met—Tidus' ever so surprised.

"But he was an _enemy_. Doesn't that make me weak?" Tidus asked, brows creasing upward in a mix of pain and confusion.

"He wasn't entirely your enemy, was he?" Cloud reminded him, taking a seat beside his companion, whose eyes were still fixed on him. "Besides, I don't think that having compassion for someone like that is a bad thing, even if they _are_ fighting for the wrong side," Cloud went on.

"You don't think it shows weakness?" Tidus' head tilted to the side with that question, his puppy-dog eyes begging for Cloud's answer.

"No," Cloud shook his head, confidently. " _I_ don't think so."

Tidus nodded, letting those words sink in. Before long, he sighed again, leaning back and reclining with his hands in the grass behind him. Cloud watched him as his gaze turned toward the sky.

"What is it?"

"I don't know why I— I mean, I hate him. I really do _hate_ him. He said some pretty awful things to me, and I still..." Tidus trailed off. He closed his eyes, recalling those final moments after the battle against Sin.

_Jecht lay in his arms, cuts and bruises on his muscular body which now, for some reason—even though he still made Tidus look like a toothpick in comparison—seemed so fragile. Jecht looked up into Tidus' eyes, his own red ones glowing with amusement. When he spoke, his tone was condescending, almost laughing._

" _You'll cry. You're gonna cry. You always cry, see? You're crying," he mocked._

_As if Tidus hadn't heard those words before. As if he hadn't had a right to cry as a child; he'd suffered enough of Jecht's neglect to earn that right. Now, here he was ten years later, nearly a man, showing compassion for his fallen kin, and still, Jecht could show no kindness._

_"I hate you, Dad," Tidus muttered, those damned tears rolling down his face, as if on cue, just to prove that Jecht was right._

"Maybe you weren't necessarily mourning him. Maybe you were upset because you were hoping for his acceptance. Fighting him showed that you were stronger than he'd imagined, but it didn't change anything between you, did it? Maybe you were waiting for him to acknowledge you," Cloud suggested.

Tidus was staring at him hard, and Cloud thought he might have overstepped. He ducked his head slightly, but his courageous eyes remained locked with Tidus'.

"I mean, that's a shot in the dark, but... am I at all right?" Cloud asked. Tidus shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts, and breaking that intense gaze.

"Uh..." Tidus started, honestly, a little stunned. Cloud was right on the mark.

Tidus could remember those days as a child. His mother was constantly praising his father up, and telling him to treat Jecht with respect, but all Tidus could think was how unfair it was. Why couldn't he be angry with Jecht? Why couldn't he yell at him, and tell him to his face what an arrogant jerk he was? Why should he respect Jecht, when Jecht never respected him?

Now, all Tidus wanted—all he'd ever wanted—was a chance to prove himself. He wanted Jecht to recognize that he was every bit as good as he was. Maybe even better. A better Blitzer, a better ally, a better man. He wanted Jecht to know that real strength required more than muscle, and he was ready to give it his all to make sure the old man got that through his thick skull.

"Y-yeah. That's a good point," Tidus said, head bobbing slowly in agreement.

His gaze wandered toward Cloud's, and he gave Cloud a soft smile, silently showing his appreciation for Cloud's understanding. It was a little overwhelming, but exciting nonetheless, to realize that Cloud was that in-tune with him. Cloud knew what he was thinking, what he was feeling, even when Tidus wasn't totally sure himself, and it was amazing to know that Cloud had been listening to him all along. He'd been paying attention to his stories, remembering even the small details, just as Tidus had done with him. Cloud really did care.

"I don't understand his reasoning for saving us the other night, but it's a little reassuring, right?" Tidus went on.

He liked to think that Jecht wouldn't go too hard on him in the fight; it didn't seem likely when he'd saved him from Chaos' troops only a few nights ago. Maybe proving himself wouldn't be as hard as he thought. All he had to do was gather up all that anger and hatred that he'd been saving for years, and pound Jecht into the ground with it.

"I suppose. Just don't let your guard down," Cloud said, eyes cautious.

"I won't," Tidus promised. He flashed another small smile, and finally turned his attention back to his breakfast.

Once they had both finished eating, Tidus stood up and drew his sword, swinging it around a couple of times in his hand.

"You're heading in already?" Cloud asked, standing up, too, one step behind him. Tidus glanced at the portal, then back at Cloud.

"Yeah. It's time to get this done," he answered, punching his fists together.

Cloud gave a nod and Tidus took a few more steps toward the portal. Cloud paid careful attention to him, watching for any subtle motion that might indicate fear, but Tidus showed none. He looked ready.

"Cloud?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna come with me? It'd be nice to have you there cheering me on," he said, glancing hopefully back at his comrade. It took a few seconds before Cloud responded, and even when he did, he appeared sceptical.

"This isn't a blitzball game, you know? It's a serious fight."

"Yeah, I know. That's why I... Well, I'd just feel better with you there," Tidus explained.

Those words tugged at Cloud's heartstrings, warming every part of his soul. If Tidus wanted him there, then Cloud would go, of course, but Cloud still tried hard to read him; he wanted to know his reasoning.

Tidus swallowed the remains of his fears, those tiny, tiny shreds, hoping Cloud wouldn't see them. He didn't want Cloud to know that a small part of him was _afraid_ to go in alone.

"I don't need you to help me fight. Just watch me take him down, okay?" Tidus asked. His pleading eyes were enough to win Cloud over; it was a request Cloud couldn't refuse.

"Yeah. Let's go," Cloud nodded. Tidus smiled, feeling his worries fade. They didn't vanish completely, but he at least felt better knowing Cloud would be at his side.

"Alright! Time to show that bastard what a real ace can do!" Tidus grinned, bouncing on the spot. Cloud gave a chuckle, and Tidus eyed him curiously; that wasn't one of Cloud's forced laughs, he could tell. It was heartier, fuller.

"What?" Tidus asked, raising a brow.

"You remind me of him sometimes," Cloud replied, confusing Tidus even further.

"Huh? Who?"

"Zack."

"Oh," Tidus said, voice quieting, unsure of how to respond. Cloud never _ever_ talked about Zack unless he was prodded to do so, so Tidus figured he should be quiet and listen.

"His mentor used to call him a puppy because he was always so restless. Someone could easily say the same about you," Cloud explained.

"Yeah, I guess. Is... that a bad thing?" Tidus asked. Cloud gave him a half-smile.

"Not always. If someone said something was impossible, that wouldn't stop you from trying to achieve it, would it?"

"Of course not," Tidus answered, and it was the truth.

He'd tried to change the impossible when it came to defeating Sin, saving Spira, even saving Yuna's life. He'd even gotten Cloud—cold, hard, lonely Cloud—to open up to him; he couldn't help but add that to his list of accomplishments. Difficult, yes. All of those things were, but they weren't impossible.

"See? You'd still act if you thought you could change something. Zack was the same way. Sure, it was hard to keep him still, and maybe he didn't always think things through, but he followed his heart. Did what he believed in." Cloud turned toward Tidus. "I see the same thing in you. I admire it."

"Oh," Tidus said, feeling a little flustered. His hand flew up to rub the back of his head. "Thanks," he smiled. "But, um, you're not trying to say that beating my old man is impossible, right?" Cloud shook his head, looking amused.

"Of course not. You're going to do great." He followed those words with a sincere smile, and Tidus couldn't help but smile back. He spun back to face the portal once more, heart pounding with a mix of adrenaline and confidence.

"Okay, let's do this! Old man, you're going down!"

* * *

Tidus opened his eyes when he felt his feet touch ground. His breath seemed to get stuck in his throat when he realized where he was. _So this is Dream's End._ Tidus recognized it. He had been here with Yuna and Wakka and the others when they had defeated Jecht—or Sin—the first time. He knew it better as _Zanarkand;_ a distorted wreck of his former home, but it was certainly Zanarkand. And this... This was the stadium, the old blitzball stadium in which he and Yuna had defeated Jecht on their journey. The task ahead somehow seemed easier still in Tidus' mind; he had done this before, fought this fight before, right in this very location. Why couldn't he do it again?

"Where is he?" Cloud asked, from behind Tidus.

"Doesn't look like he's here yet," Tidus shrugged. Cloud took a few steps forward to stand at his side. He looked around at his surroundings, the surroundings that seemed to have a death-grip on Tidus' attention.

"You know this place?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah. This was my home. Once upon a time," Tidus explained, taking a few more steps forward into the stadium. Cloud expected there to be a solemness in his voice, but even when there wasn't, he remained reluctant to ask his next question. He still found himself opening his mouth, however, as part of him was dying to know.

"Do you miss it?"

"Sometimes," Tidus admitted. "But this... this is more like a ghost of the city I lived in." Cloud was quiet for a minute, not sure whether letting Tidus reminisce like this right before a battle was a good idea or not.

"Don't let it get to you," Cloud spoke up, hoping it would brighten Tidus' spirits.

"Don't worry. I've got this!" Tidus nodded, confidently spinning around to face Cloud. "Just gotta wait for the coward to show up!" Cloud smiled, relieved by Tidus' optimism.

"I'll be up there, okay?" Cloud said, pointing to the stands. Tidus grinned wider and punched his fists together with enthusiasm.

"Cheering me on from the stands, huh? I always loved an audience!"

"Just be careful," Cloud warned him, his smile waning a little. It wouldn't have shocked him if Tidus were to get too cocky and end up off his game.

"I will be," Tidus assured him, with another grin. Cloud gave him a nod and headed for the stands, jumping from floating rock to floating rock until he reached his destination. Tidus continued to push forth a convincing smile as he watched Cloud sit down in one of the seats. This was perfect. At least, he was telling himself it was.

Tidus closed his eyes and pictured himself entering a blitzball game. He could hear the fans cheering for him. He could feel the cool water around him. He felt that burst of adrenaline that always seemed to fill him right before a game. His pulse raced with anticipation. He told himself he was ready.

He opened his eyes again and waved to Cloud's small form in the stands, the images of the other audience members fading as he did so, but his energy level remained high. Cloud gave him a wave back, and Tidus brought his eyes back down to the ground in front of him. With steady, confident steps, he walked toward the enormous blade that was set in the ground. Its black steel would have been eerie on a normal day, but today didn't feel normal to Tidus. No, he was about to settle the score with his old man for the last time. That thought alone made him feel lighter than air. In fact, he didn't know if he'd ever felt this good.

"'Bout time you showed up, kid," came Jecht's voice, from the other side of the blade. The man walked out from behind it, the surrounding purple rays growing dim as the portal around him finished working its magic. Tidus stood tall, his stance remaining steady. He drew his sword slowly and held it close by his side.

"You kept me waiting."

"Are you gonna talk all day, or are we gonna fight?" Tidus taunted. Jecht smirked, the scars on his face twisting as he did.

"All fired up, are ya? I hope you know what you're getting into." Jecht drew his sword, his cocky simper remaining on his face as he rotated his shoulder.

"I know exactly what I'm getting into. I'm gonna beat you once and for all!" Tidus shouted. Cloud could feel his heart beating faster already. Tidus looked so feeble next to the brawny Jecht, but Cloud knew Tidus had good technique and agility on his side. He just hoped it would be enough.

"Well, then. Let's get started," Jecht announced.

Tidus readied himself, waiting for his motionless father to make the first move. He waited. And waited. But Jecht was waiting as well. Finally, Tidus launched himself forward, and at the same time, so did his father. Their swords met with a fierce clang. The two landed on the ground and Tidus ducked as Jecht took a swing at him. Tidus took that opportunity to go for the ankles, but Jecht jumped into the air, avoiding Tidus' blade. Tidus cursed and rolled out of the way as Jecht landed back on the ground. Tidus stood up again and swung at Jecht with three swift strikes, all of which Jecht was able to parry.

Tidus opted for another approach, and ran at the tremendous blade in the ground, catching Jecht by surprise. Tidus was able to get enough momentum to run a few steps up the front of the sword, then jump back off of it, giving Jecht a forceful kick in the chest before he landed. Jecht stumbled back a few steps, and Tidus smirked, pleased with himself for his quick thinking—something he'd learned from Cloud a long time ago. Jecht didn't look so pleased.

The elder of the two charged forward, but the younger rolled out of the way again. Tidus saw his chance, and struck his father once on the back before Jecht managed to push him off. Jecht turned to his son, face vicious. Tidus saw his father closing his fist, preparing a mighty punch, and Tidus—not having enough time to come up with a better strategy—jumped onto one of the rocks behind him, and bounded across them into the stands where Cloud was sitting. Jecht released the punch, his fist glowing red with whatever materia he was using, and Tidus watched as the magic stream brushed past him. He exhaled, relieved that he had avoided the attack. He glanced at Cloud, and Cloud gave him a nervous look, but Tidus simply darted over to the next row of stands. Jecht was one step ahead of him.

Tidus met Jecht head-on as he reached the section of stands adjacent to Cloud's. Jecht sneered, looking ready to attack once more. This time, Tidus beat him to it. Cloud watched as Tidus jumped up and bounced off his father's form back into the air.

"Get a load of this! And another!" Tidus shouted, beams of light emerging from his sword and heading for Jecht's body. Jecht seemed paralysed for a moment, and Tidus waited to see what kind of damage he'd done. Jecht only shook his head and looked up at his son, leaning on his sword.

"That all you got?" he jeered.

"I'm just warming up!" Tidus shot back.

Jecht leapt forward again, slashing his sword back and forth in horizontal strikes. Tidus continuously jumped backward to avoid his swings, the last of which he had to do a back flip onto the other row of stands to avoid. Jecht's annoyance seemed to increase after that, and he charged toward Tidus again, knocking him off his feet. He soared through the air for a minute, then rolled as he hit the ground, landing on his side just a few feet away from Cloud.

"You okay?" Cloud asked, obvious panic in his voice as he moved to the edge of his seat. Tidus lay dumbfounded for a second, but he nodded his head and clutched his sword tighter within his hand.

"What's this? You brought a friend with you?" Jecht asked, eyeing Cloud with a conniving smirk that made Cloud want to shrink down in his seat.

"He's not here to fight," Tidus assured his father as he pushed himself to stand again.

Jecht walked a few steps closer to his son and before anything could be done to stop him, Jecht punched Tidus so hard that he landed back on the centre platform of the stadium. Tidus let out a yelp as he hit the ground and Cloud felt himself gripping the edge of his seat so tightly that his knuckles hurt. Tidus lay on his back for a second, fighting off the sting of his freshly skinned knees before managing to sit up. Jecht rushed over to the centre platform and grabbed the collar of Tidus' shirt, hauling him up into the air so that his feet no longer touched the ground. Tidus kicked his legs, hoping to break free, but it was no use.

Jecht looked into his son's face, and all he saw was fear. A trickle of blood ran from the corner of Tidus' lip, making his jaw tremble. His body had gone limp; Tidus was no longer brave enough to attempt escaping his father's grasp. Tidus' normally sprightly eyes were now languid. They begged Jecht for mercy, but Jecht showed none.

"Comrades are a liability," Jecht scoffed, giving Tidus a punch in the chest while continuing to dangle him in the air.

"Bring them along and you'll always have a reason to lose your concentration," he went on, delivering another harsh blow.

"Besides, didn't you understand when I said we'd be fighting one-on-one?" Another punch to the gut.

Cloud closed his eyes, unable to watch his dear friend's pain any longer, but unsure of whether or not he should interfere. Tidus wasn't making a sound, even when Jecht attacked him, and that only increased the worry that filled Cloud's heart. Jecht stopped his torture for a moment and leaned in closer so he could whisper his next words to his son.

"You really are just a stupid kid," he sneered. With a final punch, he sent Tidus flying into the steel blade that rested merely feet away from them. Tidus let out a weak whimper as his back smacked against the sword, then he fell limply to the ground.

Cloud watched him from afar, his body tense as he waited for him to move. _Get up, get up_ , Cloud silently urged him, but the young man wasn't moving.

"You'll be up on your feet by tomorrow," Jecht said, walking away.

_Come on, get up,_ Cloud's mind continued, but Tidus was completely motionless. Something was wrong. Jecht paused and turned to see his son still collapsed by the blade, seeming almost surprised that Tidus hadn't had more fight left in him.

Cloud couldn't wait any longer. He jumped down from the stands and proceeded toward Tidus so fast he couldn't remember telling his brain to react. He shot Jecht a menacing glance as he knelt at Tidus' side.

"Cloud... I-I can't move," Tidus whimpered, his head resting lifelessly against the steel blade, his eyes begging Cloud for help that Cloud didn't know how to provide.

"It's okay," Cloud tried to comfort him, though his heart was racing a mile a minute.

"Hah! I told you before. You're all bones, kid," Jecht cackled, forcefully.

"Get out of here, Jecht, unless you're willing to take me on as well," Cloud muttered through gritted teeth. "And under the circumstances, I wouldn't recommend it." Jecht's smirk fell, and he rotated his shoulder with his opposite hand before walking off and running his foul mouth. Tidus gave a weak moan, and Cloud drew his gaze back to him.

"He can't win. I can't let him win," Tidus whispered, hopelessly.

Cloud could tell he was close to tears. He didn't know how he was about to keep Tidus calm when he could hardly calm himself. Cloud breathed deeply and placed his hands on Tidus' shoulders, just in case the boy found the strength to move; Cloud didn't want him hurting himself further.

"You can't fight like this, Tidus. For now, you _have_ to let him win," Cloud told him, firmly, though there was obvious sympathy in his voice.

He knew how hard this must have been on Tidus, and he wasn't surprised when he did see tears appear in his partner's eyes. Whether it was from the pain, or from having to forfeit the fight he'd been waiting to fight his entire life, Cloud wasn't sure. All he really knew was that he had to get Tidus somewhere safe where he could tend to him properly.

"When you're ready, kid, we'll fight again," Jecht said, giving one glance back at the Cosmos warriors.

His smile fell a little more as he gazed upon the damaged young man. He felt sick. Could Tidus really not move? The possibility that he may have seriously injured his own son was suddenly too much for him to handle. Part of him wanted to help, but he was sure Tidus' companion would fight him off before he got within two feet of his son. He had caused this, after all. Perhaps it was better to just leave.

With a heartfelt sigh, Jecht turned away and disappeared through the portal. Cloud watched intently until he was positive the man was definitely gone, and not going to return.

"I can't move," Tidus repeated, recapturing Cloud's attention. Cloud loosened the grip he had on his ally's shoulder, just barely touching him in case the damage was worse than he could tell. Cloud swallowed hard, a lump forming in his throat as worry surged through him.

"Just rest a minute. Take some deep breaths," Cloud suggested, trying to keep his voice steady. Tidus took his advice, though breathing steadily was easier said than done through the searing pain in his back. Cloud's face was twisted into a look of concern as Tidus struggled to catch his breath.

"I-I can't," Tidus mewled.

"Sshhh... Breathe," Cloud repeated. Tidus tried his best to listen to that soothing voice, and he tilted his head back a little, hoping it might make it a bit easier to inhale. Cloud quickly braced Tidus' neck with his free hand.

"That didn't hurt, did it?" he asked, urgency in his voice.

"No," Tidus assured him. Cloud's hand travelled carefully from Tidus' neck to his sweaty forehead, and tenderly brushed away the stray strands of dark blond hair that fell in his face. Cloud's actions seemed to relax Tidus, and he was finally able to catch some regular breaths.

Cloud took a few deep breaths of his own as he tried to mend his frayed nerves. He didn't want to focus on the possibility that Jecht had damaged Tidus beyond repair. Instead, he concentrated on what he could do to prevent it from becoming a reality.

"Tidus, I want you to stay very still for me, okay?" he asked, his voice calm, yet firm.

"Okay," Tidus whispered. He watched as Cloud slipped his gloves off and tossed them aside. Then, ever so tenderly, Cloud ran the back of his hand along Tidus' arm.

"Can you feel me?" he asked, his eyes glancing up to meet Tidus'.

"Yeah," Tidus replied. He averted his gaze when he felt tears brimming his eyes. He realized why Cloud was checking him over: there was a chance he was paralysed. Cloud noticed his tears, and he immediately felt the need to calm him down again.

"Tidus, look at me," Cloud coaxed. "Look at me." Tidus reluctantly met his gaze.

"You're gonna be fine, okay? This is just a precaution," Cloud explained, eyes scared, but gentle.

"'Kay," Tidus managed, biting his lip, tearfully.

"Okay. How about this? Can you feel me here?" Cloud asked, trailing his hand down to Tidus' right hand, and tracing over each of his fingers.

"Yeah."

"Good. That's good," Cloud said, forcing a shaky smile. "And here?" Cloud tried again, his hand moving to Tidus' leg.

"Uh-huh."

"Alright."

Cloud continued his examination until he was sure Tidus still had feeling in all his limbs. He proceeded to check for broken bones, but avoided checking his back. Cloud was afraid that even the slightest amount of movement might cause further damage to his spine. He would go for a safer approach, and not touch it until he had something to counteract any damage he might inflict.

"Tidus, do you still have that healing materia from the other night?"

"F-front pocket."

With cautious hands, Cloud withdrew the materia from the pouch of Tidus' shorts. With another deep inhale, he moved in a little closer to his companion. His hand brushed lightly against Tidus' side, and he felt Tidus hold his breath, like he was expecting Cloud's actions to cause him pain.

"It's okay. Breathe with me," Cloud instructed, eyes meeting Tidus', and begging them to lock with his own.

Tidus quickly fell under his gaze, and two shades of blue met in an unfaltering stare. Cloud parted his lips, and Tidus did the same, inhaling and exhaling in slow, united breaths. Cloud nodded his approval, and with utmost caution, slipped his hand in between Tidus' back and the enormous blade behind him.

"Ow..." Tidus sniffled. Cloud didn't like to think that contact, even contact this light, could be causing him pain.

"It's okay. We just have to wait for the magic to start working," Cloud murmured, holding the glowing, green materia close against Tidus' back. Tidus nodded, lightly, his eyes focused on Cloud's serene expression. Cloud's eyes fell closed as he concentrated on the spell, and although Tidus tried to continue breathing with him, he couldn't focus.

"Cloud? Am I... Is my back broken?" Tidus asked, his voice trembling harder than Cloud had ever heard it. Cloud opened his eyes, and stared into his comrade's terrified ones. It hurt to see him so scared, and Cloud didn't know how to take his fear away, especially when he felt the need to be honest with him.

"I don't know for certain, but I'm going to heal you until I'm sure it's fixed," Cloud replied. Tidus let his head fall back to rest against the large blade again, exhaustion evident in each of his features. With his free hand, Cloud gingerly brushed a thumb over Tidus' cheek.

"But, healing broken bones? How long can you do that?" Tidus asked. Cloud looked into his sullen face; he looked so drained, so defeated. Cloud let his thumb trail down to Tidus' lip where he wiped away the remains of blood. He ignored the ache in his heart, and forced an encouraging smile.

"As long as it takes."

* * *

Whimpers filled Cloud's ears as he helped Tidus into the tent, the younger man's arm around Cloud's shoulder. Cloud managed to get Tidus sitting on his sleeping bag before moving to zip up the tent. Cloud immediately returned to Tidus' side, and carefully reached for his shoulder.

"You might want to take your shirt off. I'll get some cold water," Cloud said, standing up and walking over to his bag which was lying in the corner.

He whipped off his gloves and dug through the bag until he found his canteen and a cloth. He also grabbed a yellow materia and set it down to give them some light. Tidus moaned again, causing Cloud to look in his direction. It was the first time Cloud caught a glimpse of his back; it was almost completely covered in red and purple patches. Cloud had seen his fair share of bruises when he was at Shinra, but this... He'd never seen anything like this.

Cloud approached Tidus again and knelt down behind him. Tidus whispered a thank-you as Cloud carefully helped free his arm from the sleeve of his shirt, allowing him to rid himself of the garment completely.

"How does it look?" the younger man asked, slipping his gloves off as well to make himself more comfortable. Cloud was silent for a moment, then swallowed hard.

"Do you want me to lie?" he eventually asked.

"That bad, huh?"

"It's not _good_."

Cloud opened his canteen and poured a bit of water onto the cloth he was holding. Gently, he pressed it to Tidus' back, causing the younger male to gasp. Cloud pulled the material away.

"Did it hurt?" he asked.

"A bit. The cold... felt good, though," Tidus replied, stifling a whimper.

Cloud was careful as he once again placed the wet material on Tidus' back. He chose a spot high up which looked to be the worst, and held the cloth there, hoping the cold would soothe it. Tidus stayed surprisingly still, which only worried Cloud more. Tidus was the type to fidget and protest to anyone tending to him, but he was still so melancholy.

Cloud suspected that broken bones _had_ , in fact, been involved for Tidus to still be this sore; Cloud had literally been healing him from dawn 'til dusk. Normally, that much healing would have exhausted Cloud, but he was so high on adrenaline, the last thing he could think of was sleep.

"Does it feel okay?" Cloud asked.

"Y-yeah."

Cloud removed the cloth from his friend's back and poured some more water on it before placing it on another spot. Tidus released a tiny moan. Cloud tried to ignore the fact that he adored those small sounds. He knew Tidus was in pain, but if the circumstances had been different... Those sounds would have been beautiful.

"Cloud, can you move it up a little?" Tidus asked.

"Here?" The elder man broke the contact only for a moment to move the cloth up.

"Yeah. That's better," Tidus replied, sighing in relief. He closed his eyes, trying to focus only on the cool sensation on his back. His chest felt funny, probably from getting the wind knocked out of him. He could only imagine how bad the bruises were.

Cloud exhaled, completely overwhelmed. The fight with Jecht had been too close a call. There had been a moment there when Cloud had thought he'd lost his Tidus, his ray of hope. He had been stricken by the terrifying fear that he might have been damaged beyond help. Cloud tried to suppress those horrific thoughts, fought to push them to the back of his mind where they could no longer torment him, but his stomach remained sick—dreadfully sick, like being in the middle of a 24-hour flu, and knowing food wouldn't stay down, even if he had tried to eat it.

He'd lost so much. If he'd lost Tidus, too... No, he _couldn't_ lose Tidus. But, did Tidus even know that? Did Tidus even know how much he cared?

Cloud paused for a moment, thinking long and hard about that. It wasn't like he often said those sorts of things out loud. Now and again, perhaps, but probably not enough. Did Tidus know that Cloud felt closer to him all the time, that Cloud's heart soared when they were together, that he treasured their private talks? Did he know that Cloud cherished his kind words, and warm skin? Did he know how much he had changed Cloud's life since he had become a part of it?

Tidus sighed again, keeping his eyes closed as Cloud wet and reapplied the cloth, thankful as the cool water continued to soothe his aching back. He breathed in, but blinked a couple of times as he felt a new sensation—a warmer one—up near his shoulder.

"Cloud...?" Tidus asked, as he felt Cloud's lips on him. Cloud lifted his head only for a moment to shush him, then continued to kiss his upper back gently, absentmindedly letting the cloth fall away.

"Of all the times to want to be intimate... You choose now, when I can hardly move? Is that some sort of turn-on for you?" Tidus asked, managing to half-tease his partner.

Cloud ignored the comment and continued his lips' gentle caress up onto Tidus' shoulder. Tidus turned his head slightly to try and watch him. Cloud brought his head up and their eyes met.

"I'm sorry. I just..." Cloud started, but he didn't know how to explain his sudden urge to show his affection. He hardly understood it himself. Tidus simply stared at him and smiled, though Cloud could tell the pain was trying to fight off that smile. Cloud moved a bit so that he could be easier reached by his partner.

"You don't have to explain," Tidus said.

Cloud raised his eyebrows, looking like he wanted to ask why Tidus was so understanding of this. After all, it was very out of character for Cloud to act in such an affectionate way. He wasn't usually the one to initiate this kind of thing, even when he'd been with Zack. But if Tidus didn't mind, then... Then they could continue, right?

Their eyes met again, and this time they knew their next move. Both leaned in, their foreheads resting against each other's for several seconds before they did anything more. They had come this far with small steps; they couldn't rush things now. Cloud could feel Tidus' breath on his chin and neck, making him more desperate for contact than he liked to admit. Sure, they had kissed before, but something about this moment was different. It had been so long since Cloud had been in a situation like this; he hoped his body would remember what to do.

Finally, they pressed their lips together. Steadily, those lips caressed each other, keeping their owners more than satisfied. Tidus didn't know how he could tell, but he knew Cloud wanted this. Cloud yearned for him in that moment, and it showed. Knowing that gave Tidus the courage to venture a little further.

Before Tidus could make his move, however, he felt Cloud's hand at the back of his neck, his fingers running over the soft skin there. Cloud pulled back a little, his lips capturing Tidus' bruised bottom one between his own. Tidus was breathless as Cloud's lips moved over his own, blessing its injuries with tiny caresses and easing the pain.

Tidus wanted to provide the same amount of enjoyment for Cloud, and pulled back, too. He tried to remain calm as he ran his tongue along Cloud's bottom lip. Cloud released some sort of sigh as he welcomed his partner's tongue into his mouth. Tidus took this chance to learn and memorize this part of Cloud that was so new to him, but it was hard not to become distracted when Cloud's free hand made its way to his lower back. Tidus was quiet at first, but groaned a little when he felt pain again. Cloud immediately removed his hand from the bruised skin.

"Sorry," Cloud whispered, when the kiss was broken. "I forgot."

"It's okay. Just be careful," Tidus said, reaching for Cloud's hand and bringing it back to rest where it had previously been. Cloud stroked Tidus' back more gently now with his thumb while Tidus wrapped an arm around Cloud's neck, his hand resting on Cloud's shoulder.

They stayed there for several seconds, kissing quietly, trying to obtain all the satisfaction they could in that position. They could soon feel each other becoming restless, however, and Tidus gathered all his courage to try something new.

He smiled softly as he continued to give Cloud's lips some more gentle kisses. Meanwhile, he got himself into a kneeling position—just as Cloud was—and shuffled forward until he was straddling Cloud's lap. This earned a pleasureful moan from the older blond, and Tidus pulled away just long enough to give him another gentle smile. Cloud managed to return the smile as he brought his hands up Tidus' back, tenderly massaging his shoulder blades. If he was causing Tidus any pain now, he certainly couldn't tell. Or perhaps Tidus just didn't care anymore.

Eyes met again. Tidus cocked his head to the side slightly, his parted lips and questioning eyes asking for Cloud's permission, and Cloud gave it with a simple nod. He sighed when he felt Tidus' lips reach his jaw and travel down onto his neck. Tidus felt Cloud's body tremble beneath him and he fed off that energy as he continued to kiss him more fiercely. Finally, Cloud succeeded in inducing a moan from his partner as his hands travelled over Tidus' shoulders and ghosted down his toned chest. Cloud took that opportunity of catching him off guard, and raised his hands to his waist, attempting to manoeuvre him onto the sleeping bag below them.

"Ow..." Tidus whimpered, as his back hit the fabric, the hard ground below him causing him discomfort.

"I'm so sorry," Cloud whispered. "Maybe we should stop," he said, rapidly scooting back and giving Tidus room to sit up.

"No," Tidus replied, his voice soft. He shook his head, looking confident. "No," he repeated. Cloud leaned back in when he saw the young man reaching for him. Outstretched arms laced around Cloud's neck. Cloud gave him a curious look, and Tidus' eyes silently begged Cloud to trust him. Cloud could do nothing but oblige.

Tidus's hands fell to Cloud's belt, and he undid it with ease, even with Cloud's eyes glued to his moving hands. Tidus tossed the belt aside, and his eyes flickered toward Cloud's for permission to continue, hands resting at the hem of Cloud's shirt. Cloud gave him an approving nod, and Tidus pulled the shirt off in one swift motion before discarding it as well.

Cloud closed his eyes as Tidus kissed his lips again, and he felt Tidus' hands on his back, gracefully lowering _him_ to the sleeping bag instead. Cloud was clearly surprised at this turn of events, but smiled as Tidus met his lips again.

Sun-kissed fingertips danced across Cloud's naked chest, making Cloud's heart pound hard. Tidus felt Cloud tremble again as he moved to straddle him once more. Cloud forced his shaky hands back up to Tidus' chest only to let them trail down his front again. Tidus seemed appreciative of this, and Cloud found himself wanting to please the man further.

One of Cloud's hands rested at Tidus' waist, stroking the skin at the hem of his trousers while the other began a new journey. Tidus pressed his lips against Cloud's again, but Cloud kept himself focused on his own task. He let his thumb snake up Tidus' abdomen, circling his navel for a moment before proceeding around his waist. His hand rubbed tenderly at the bruised skin, so gentle this time that Tidus showed no sign of discomfort.

Cloud's lips encircled Tidus' bottom one again, suckling ever so delicately, and Tidus hummed contentedly. Meanwhile, his hand travelled further south, and coaxed Tidus' hips down towards his own body. The contact was enough to make Tidus thrust hard against Cloud, and it took all of Cloud's power to stifle what would have been a rather loud moan.

"C... Cloud?" Tidus murmured.

"Mmm?"

"C-can I... get inside you?"

Cloud obviously hadn't been expecting the question, as his mako blue eyes had widened a great deal after hearing it. Thoughts quickly raced through Cloud's head. Had this been Tidus' motive all along? Was this his reason for wanting to get close to him? The thoughts dissipated as quickly as they had come. Such thoughts were ridiculous. Tidus had showed so much kindness, had gone out of his way to help, and protect, and even just listen to Cloud when he needed it. Tidus loved him, and this was simply his way of wanting to express it.

Cloud quickly regained his composure, and released a quiet sigh. It was certainly an inviting idea after five years of being alone, but truth be told, Cloud wasn't ready, and on some level, he didn't think Tidus was either. Cloud raised a hand, and brushed a piece of Tidus' hair away from his face. Tidus watched him carefully.

"Not tonight. We shouldn't rush," Cloud told him, quietly.

Tidus was a little offended at first, but couldn't help but be reassured of Cloud's adoration for him as Cloud continued to stroke his hair. That was when he realized how right Cloud was. Sure, it would be hard to stop their actions now, but Tidus didn't want this to happen until he was sure Cloud wanted it as much, and for the same reasons, as he did. Tidus loved Cloud, and he knew Cloud cared about him, but he wasn't sure if he _loved_ him yet. Tidus wanted Cloud to trust him, and to love him back with the same amount of admiration that he had had for him for so long. And until Tidus was sure this experience would mean the same to both of them, he would wait. He would wait as long as Cloud needed.

Tidus let out a soft chuckle, feeling suddenly embarrassed for his neediness. He quickly clambered off of Cloud and ran a hand through his already perfect hair.

"I'm sorry for asking. That was stupid," he mumbled, staring at the sleeping bag below him.

Cloud pushed himself up to rest on his elbows, leaving a good-sized space between his legs, as he was still quite hot from the past few minutes they had spent together. He hoped the darkness of the tent would conceal some of those more physical consequences. Thankfully, for him, Tidus was in the exact same boat.

"It wasn't stupid," Cloud answered, pushing himself fully into a sitting position. "I just don't think we're ready yet."

"Yeah." Tidus rubbed the back of his head as he spoke.

"Tidus?" Cloud asked, hoping to bring the man out of his flustered state.

"Yeah?" Tidus responded, his head snapping up to look at Cloud.

"I'm glad we— I mean, I really care about—"

"Y-yeah," Tidus shyly agreed. "Me, too."

Cloud could tell Tidus wasn't going to snap out of his embarrassment any time soon. Having no other way to reassure him that everything was alright, Cloud quietly moved toward him. Before Tidus really had time to react, Cloud's lips had met his own again, silently settling his wary mind. They quickly entangled themselves once more, and continued to exchange soft kisses and sweet caresses until the sun had begun to rise.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ...So? ...What did you think? Hee hee. Yes, I love this chapter so much:3 That's why I took a little extra time to perfect it, even though it's probably my most read chapter. I read it every so often just for fun. I love the mix of the sadness of the battle, and the kissy moments afterward. Aww, Tidus' injuries... *sniff, sniff* It gets me every time!
> 
> Whew! It's such a relief to have this chapter up. It's so nerve-wracking, since this was the first chapter when the boys really started to get sensual, so I'm anxious to see what you all think of it. Please, if you have the time, let me know! :D Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed! HAPPY CLIDUSNESS!


	25. Shaken

**Chapter 25: Shaken**

Light filtered in through the tent's canvas walls, causing Tidus to open his eyes. It was morning, but how late in the morning, Tidus wasn't quite sure. He and Cloud hadn't exactly been concerned about going to sleep at a decent time the night before. Tidus yawned, still too groggy to really wake up, but when he rolled onto his back, pain immediately roused him. He groaned a little and returned to lying on his side, frustrated by the throbbing injuries his old man had given him. This time when he opened his eyes, his irritation fell away. There in his line of vision lay Cloud. Tidus' pursed lips relaxed as he admired the sight.

Cloud was still asleep, his lightly shut eyes and rosy pink lips making Tidus envy his beauty. Those lips... They were parted ever so slightly, like they were waiting for him. They were open just enough that if Tidus had wanted to, he probably could have pressed his own lips against them and they would have been a perfect fit, but Tidus didn't want to risk waking Cloud up. He simply wanted to stare.

Despite Cloud's obvious beauty, there was still something about him in that moment that drove a disquietude into Tidus' heart. Even in sleep, Cloud couldn't hide his demons. Tidus could see it in his face, the slight twinging of his brows, the downward tug at his lips. Sometimes Tidus wished he had witnessed the hardships that Cloud had faced, just so he could understand him a little better, help him a little more, but maybe he was better off not knowing those memories that still to this day tormented Cloud. He had to believe his methods of comforting Cloud worked better when he was distanced from the things that put Cloud at such unease.

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Tidus propped himself up on one elbow, leaned forward, and pressed a light kiss to Cloud's forehead. When he broke the contact, he fondly stared at Cloud again; the tension in the Ex-SOLDIER's sleeping features briefly vanished. Tidus smiled, a warmth filling him when he realized that he _was_ capable of taking some of Cloud's pain away. Even last night had proved that. A few months ago, Cloud would never have gotten that close to him, but they were now starting down a new road. They cared about _each other_ now. Things were different. Better.

Tidus smiled again as he pressed one more lingering kiss to the tip of Cloud's nose. He drew his lips lightly along Cloud's skin as he pulled back. Along the way, he'd done something right. That much was certain.

"What are you doing?" Cloud murmured, startling Tidus and causing him to yank his head back. Cloud's eyes remained closed, which Tidus was thankful for because the falsely innocent expression that had appeared on his face probably wasn't one that was becoming of him.

"I was just... uh... There was a bug on your nose, so I was brushing it off for ya," Tidus lied, eyes wide.

"Uh-huh. A bug," Cloud repeated, a smirk ebbing at the corners of his tired mouth. His incredulous tone made Tidus want to break out in laughter, but he held back, and instead decided to keep his fib going a little longer.

"That's right." Tidus nodded enthusiastically, though Cloud still couldn't see him through closed lids.

"And you were getting rid of it with your lips?" Cloud asked, finally opening his eyes and meeting Tidus' wary gaze.

"Um... yup. You know, those are _tasty_ little critters!" Tidus playfully chuckled. Cloud shook his head and briefly closed his eyes again, visibly amused. Tidus loved that look he was wearing; he actually seemed comfortable. In time, moments like these might actually make Cloud happy.

"Never a dull moment with you around, huh?" Cloud met Tidus' gaze again, a small smile growing on his lips.

"You'll get used to my insanity. Eventually," Tidus simpered. He half-expected Cloud to laugh along with him, but the emotion in Cloud's eyes had quickly turned to a serious one. Tidus' grin vanished as Cloud stared at him, and he silently waited for an explanation. After a few seconds, Cloud opened his mouth.

"You know, Tidus, from now on, if you want something from me, you don't have to hide it. Just ask." There was a firmness, yet a sincerity, in Cloud's voice.

It took Tidus a minute to really gather what Cloud was trying to say, but when he did, he realized that Cloud's attitude about their relationship had shifted somewhere along the way. They were a couple now, and Cloud was ready to act as such. Tidus deserved some reciprocity.

"Really? So, if I want to kiss you—" Tidus asked, looking a little surprised.

"You're allowed," Cloud answered, like Tidus should have known. Tidus' mouth twitched upward a little; he felt almost giddy with embarrassment, but definite elation, too. That beautiful feeling, however, had a very short lifespan.

Even if Tidus had Cloud's permission, he knew that for both their sakes he couldn't rush things. Moving forward with Cloud, to some degree, still felt like walking on ice. Things could be great now, but Tidus knew it wouldn't take much to say the wrong thing or make the wrong move, and send them spiralling backwards.

"But last night, when I asked if we could— I mean, I went too far, and..." Tidus trailed off, head lowering and cheeks reddening as he remembered his untimely request for sex. Cloud merely held up a hand and closed his eyes, appearing unfazed.

"Tidus, you're nineteen. I'm not going to hold that against you. It's a natural urge."

"Yeah, I guess, but I..." Tidus left another sentence unfinished as his mind repeatedly told him that that wasn't the extent of what was bothering him. He'd always heard that men tended to have more of a physical relationship, but last night had made him think that Cloud was even more sensitive than he had previously believed.

It was just a hunch he had, but he thought that perhaps for Cloud, being intimate was a part of moving on. Cloud had come a long way, sure, but Tidus was well aware that he wasn't ready for such a big step forward; the past still clung to him too tightly. That was why Tidus was so nervous now. It wasn't the first time he'd tried to push something on Cloud that Cloud hadn't been ready for, and the last time he had, it had resulted in Cloud pulling away.

"Well, I'm kind of afraid to get too close. Last time I did that... I sorta lost you," Tidus said, his head dropping a little, making him break eye contact. Cloud didn't need to be told to which occasion Tidus was referring.

"Yeah," Cloud said, softly, remembering the way he had abandoned Tidus after their first kiss, the way he had broken both their hearts with one blow. "That's why I want to make sure I don't mess things up again," he finished.

Tidus could feel Cloud watching him, and he brought his eyes up to meet his gaze. There was guilt in Cloud's eyes, and Tidus suddenly felt ashamed for making him feel that way.

"Cloud, I didn't mean... I'm not _blaming_ you," Tidus assured him. Cloud gave him a soft smile.

"I know."

Tidus studied Cloud carefully, his twinkling aqua eyes looking up to stare at the tent above. He was silent, but the twitch of his mouth made Tidus think he wanted to say something else. Tidus pushed himself up on his elbow again and waited patiently, hoping Cloud would have the courage to open up to him.

"I have to apologize," Cloud eventually said, his eyes still focused on the tent.

"For what?" Tidus asked, lifting his head to give Cloud his utmost attention.

"I took you for granted for a long time. You were there for me, even when I did nothing to show my appreciation."

"That's okay," Tidus replied, softly.

It was true, there had been lots of times when Tidus had wished Cloud would acknowledge his kindnesses. There were times when Tidus felt he truly did deserve a thank you, and didn't receive one, but Cloud had long since made up for those. Tidus wasn't looking for his apologies anymore, or even his gratitude; the fact that he was now returning those kindnesses in ways of his own was more than enough.

"Even now, I'm not always that good at letting you know how grateful I am that you're with me. I just never want you to feel... like I don't care about you," Cloud said, turning to his companion.

Tidus pondered for a second or two, eyes blinking quickly as those words rushed to his Cloud-adoring brain. With a deep breath, he began to speak, his excited heart thumping against his ribs.

"To be honest, for a while, I didn't know if you would ever return those feelings I had for you. But, after you came back, and after last night..." Tidus said, trailing off when Cloud's small smile became contagious.

Tidus lowered his head, for he was sure his red cheeks were returning. Both men grew silent, but Cloud soon cleared his throat, wanting to make his point clear.

"Still, I'm sorry about before," Cloud said, his smile fading a little, but Tidus quickly shook his head to silence him.

"It doesn't matter. That's all in the past now," Tidus said, voice not much above a whisper as he once again lay down at Cloud's side. "And this time, we're gonna get this right," he went on, pausing for a second. "Aren't we?"

"Yeah, we are," Cloud agreed, leaning forward and meeting Tidus' lips in a familiar touch.

The kiss was short and sweet, and when it ended, Tidus scooted in closer to Cloud's warm body. Cloud was quickly greeted by the comfort of Tidus' forehead against his own, and he laced his arms around Tidus' bare waist to make sure his partner knew he was enjoying the contact. They closed their eyes and let the warmth wash over them.

The feel of Tidus in his arms was somewhat surreal to Cloud, but it was something he was sure he could get used to. It had always been hard for him to imagine anyone warming up to him, especially to this extent, but Tidus' persistence had given Cloud confidence; Tidus saw something in him, and maybe it didn't matter what that something was anymore. After all, Cloud saw something special in Tidus as well, even if he couldn't identify it enough to put a label on it.

"How does your back feel?" Cloud asked, adjusting his grip so that it wasn't too tight.

"It's still pretty sore," Tidus admitted.

"You're not going to fight Jecht again today, are you?"

"No."

"Good."

They lay in peaceful silence, their bodies becoming more and more relaxed the longer they held each other. Cloud's eyes eventually fell closed again, and Tidus began to trace the contours of Cloud's chest, hoping the contact might keep Cloud from drifting off. Cloud couldn't stop the corners of his lips from curving into a slight smile as Tidus' lightly calloused fingers grazed his skin.

"I've been thinking about that battle," Tidus spoke up, unfortunately bringing Cloud out of his peaceful state. Cloud didn't open his eyes, but a crease appeared between his brows as he listened.

"Yeah?" he cautiously inquired.

"A long while back, near the beginning of our journey, that guy in gold... The Emperor? He said something to me. 'Hatred alone will never yield the crystal'. I wonder what that means." Tidus' voice was quiet, but steady, as were his fingertips as they brushed over pale skin.

"Sounds to me like your motivation for obtaining your crystal needs to include more than mere hatred."

"That's the conclusion I came to, too. I don't know. I've just been thinkin' it all over. Maybe I _did_ go into that battle thinking I could beat my old man to a pulp if I was angry enough at him."

"But now you believe you need more than that?" Cloud asked, eyes drifting open and locking with those a deeper shade of blue.

"Basically, yeah. I just hope I'm right, that's all. And I hope I can figure out what else I need in order to win. I wanna be better prepared next time," Tidus finished with a sigh. He couldn't help but notice Cloud pull him in a little tighter with those words. Was Cloud as nervous as he was when it came to the fight against Jecht?

"Of course," came Cloud's reply. "But don't worry about it right now, okay? You need to rest up first. Think things through."

"Yeah," Tidus nodded, mostly to put Cloud's mind at ease. He was enjoying this moment together too much to ruin it.

He brought his attention back to his hands as they roamed Cloud's chiseled front. They travelled up to his clavicle and brushed in and around every dent and furrow before trailing down to the left side of his chest and pausing on one of Cloud's most obvious imperfections. It wasn't long before Cloud caught him staring at the old injury.

"This scar... It's from Sephiroth, isn't it? From when he attacked you in the woods?" Tidus asked, his fingertips rubbing the whitish, raised skin.

"No, that one was from the first time he attacked me," Cloud replied, with a slight shake of his head. Tidus frowned.

"The first time?"

"Mm-hmm. At the reactor in my hometown."

"And this one?" Tidus asked, his fingers ghosting their way down to the second scar that lay just about an inch below the first.

" _That_ was from the attack in the woods," Cloud told him.

"Oh," Tidus said, softly as he continued to skim his fingers over the flawed skin. "At least the fight's over. At least he's gone."

A knot instantly formed in Cloud's stomach. Sephiroth, gone? Cloud certainly hoped so, but lately, he hadn't been so sure. Events just didn't seem to be adding up.

"Yeah. Now we just need to get you safely through _your_ battle," Cloud said, brushing past the words that worried him, and holding Tidus a little tighter still. Tidus' heart sank. He knew he shouldn't feel guilty for what had happened in the battle against Jecht, but he did.

"I'm sorry I messed up, Cloud."

"That wasn't your fault. No one could have endured an attack like that and kept fighting. Jecht was too hard on you."

"But, I don't _want_ him to _hold back_ ," Tidus tried to explain. "If I can't beat him when he's at his strongest, then it's like I'm not really beating him at all."

"Mm. I know what you mean," Cloud said, nodding against Tidus' forehead, noses rubbing tenderly together. "But, what's most important is that you survive. The fight isn't as important as the outcome."

"I guess you're right," Tidus sighed.

"When you've seen as many battles as I have, you'll come to realize that fighting isn't always as glorious as it's cracked up to be."

"Cloud?" Tidus pulled his head back to properly look his partner in the eye. "You really are tired of fighting, aren't you?" Cloud's expression weakened a little. He'd been fighting since he was thirteen. Eight years was more than enough.

"Yeah," he eventually admitted. "I am."

Tidus rolled back in against him, this time tucking his head under Cloud's chin, and pressing his ear to his chest. His arms snaked their way around Cloud's middle, and locked around his back.

"It's like I can't escape it," Cloud said, softly. "Even if I'm not the one fighting, I see battles and wars wherever I go."

Cloud stopped for a moment, thinking, and Tidus listened patiently to the sound of Cloud's heartbeat. He couldn't help noticing the way it sped up as Cloud continued to speak.

"And there's always someone who doesn't make it out alive," Cloud finished, voice low. Tidus rubbed gently at Cloud's back.

"Don't you remember when you said we were gonna fight Chaos and win? I still believe we can do that. And maybe you were just saying that for the sake of me and the others, but I think some part of you still believes it, too."

"Maybe you're right," Cloud replied, with a half-smile, but Tidus could tell from his voice that he was still troubled. Tidus didn't let him worry for long.

"Hey, things might look dim now, but we're gonna get through this!" he practically cheered.

Tidus' sudden enthusiasm took Cloud by surprise. This time, Cloud was the one to pull away to gape at Tidus', and when Cloud met those blue eyes, bright and shimmering with hope, Cloud managed a smile.

"You really have a gift, Tidus. Not everyone can see things from such a positive perspective. Don't let yourself lose that way of thinking." Tidus gazed into his partner's honest eyes and smiled. He would never get tired of knowing Cloud admired him, even in small ways such as this.

"I won't," he promised. His response seemed to put Cloud at ease.

Cloud let out a light chuckle when Tidus' stomach let out a hungry growl a second later, bringing their emotional conversation to a close.

"Sorry 'bout that," Tidus laughed.

"That's alright," Cloud said, finally letting Tidus go and pushing himself to sit up. "I'll go out and look for something good to eat."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Tidus asked, picking his head up to get a better look at Cloud. The elder male reached for his shirt that had been discarded at the end of his sleeping bag the night before, and pulled it on over his head.

"You're still hurt. Why don't you stay here and rest? I'll heal you some more when I get back if you need me to," Cloud said, standing up and collecting his sword.

"Okay, but you be careful out there on your own," Tidus reminded him, a small smile on his face.

"I will be," Cloud promised, giving Tidus a soft smile in return. "Don't starve on me, alright?"

"I'll try not to," Tidus chuckled, staring fondly as Cloud headed for the exit of the tent.

* * *

Cloud stared incredulously at the red fruit in his palm. He had been nothing short of shocked to find a few apple trees not far from the campsite, and was even more surprised by how perfect the apples looked. Each one was beautifully rounded, and glistened brilliantly in the morning sunlight. Cloud felt his mouth watering just looking at them.

Before he could stop himself, he was taking a bite. Might as well make sure they tasted as good as they appeared before bringing them back to a ravenous Tidus anyway. He had nothing to worry about. The apple was sweet and juicy, just as he'd expected judging by its exterior. No doubt Tidus would be pleased.

Cloud released a contented sigh, and glanced up at the tree before him, taking in its beauty, and plucking a couple more apples for his companion. He stuffed them into his item bag, and turned to leave, but paused as he caught a blur of movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned toward the motion, letting his breakfast fall, and readying his sword instead.

He heard footsteps, but they were coming from behind. Two enemies? This wasn't good. Cloud spun toward the footsteps, only to see Firion rushing out from within the trees.

"Cecil! Cecil, wait! O-oh, Cloud!" he stuttered, ceasing his pursuit when his eyes fell upon his comrade.

"Firion, did you say Cecil?" Cloud questioned, following Firion's gaze as it turned toward the trees behind Cloud. Both men caught another glimpse of movement, and as white armour took off into the woods, the Cosmos warriors followed at a dead run.

The sound of rustling trees was ferocious as the three rampaged through the foliage—the supposed 'Cecil' up ahead, and Firion and Cloud hot on his trail. Cloud swung the Buster Sword onto his back, hoping it would allow him to run faster.

"Firion, what's going on?" he asked, through quick breaths.

"I'm sure that's Cecil," Firion replied, just as winded from the run.

Eventually, they came to a clearing, but the figure they had been chasing was nowhere in sight. Firion glanced around wildly, and Cloud stared into the brush behind him, wondering if they had taken a wrong turn somewhere. The woods were silent, and with no possible way of knowing where they had lost Cecil's trail, they had no choice but to give up.

Firion doubled over, his hands resting on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. Cloud waited for him to recover before he spoke.

"So, you've seen him, too," Cloud hummed. Firion's eyes darted upward, meeting Cloud's in a curious glance. The warrior pushed himself to stand straight.

"You have encountered him as well?" Firion asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah. At least, I think so. This isn't the first time I caught a glimpse of something and thought it was Cecil, although I don't know how to explain it."

"Yes. Witnessing his death does make it difficult to rationalize this," Firion agreed. He glanced around again, almost warily, as if making sure they weren't being watched. Cloud quickly caught on.

"Right, maybe we shouldn't discuss this here," he said, waving for Firion to follow him. Firion nodded and headed after Cloud, passing back through all the foliage they had trampled to get here.

"How goes the journey?" Cloud asked, quietly, head turning back toward Firion as they walked. Firion smiled, a hand instinctively going to his pocket to make sure all his belongings were still there.

"I've obtained the crys—" Firion caught himself mid-sentence, not wanting to say too much in case they were in fact in the presence of Chaos troops. "I should say... that which Cosmos willed us to find."

"Oh. Good for you," Cloud replied, though his congratulations sounded a little dry. He couldn't help it. Every time the issue of the crystals came up, a lump formed in his throat, and he couldn't shake that dreaded feeling that he'd done something wrong.

"How did you do it?" he dared to ask.

"Let's just say the Emperor is no longer a threat," Firion answered, a small smile on his face, but Cloud couldn't bear to see it.

So, it did seem that that was the way of obtaining the crystals. Each warrior had to fight his or her nemesis from the respective homeworlds. Cloud had done so, yet he still had no crystal. He didn't even want to imagine the reason why. He simply hoped the walk back to camp would be a short one.

* * *

The sound of voices outside the tent awoke Tidus from his slumber. He blinked a few times, realizing he must have dozed off sometime after Cloud had left. He rolled onto his stomach, knowing his back would still cause him pain if he were to lay on it. He listened hard, and immediately recognized the voices, but his stomach flipped when he heard the distress in their tones.

"But honestly, we can't be sure until we can catch him and confront him. Perhaps it was merely a manikin," Firion was saying.

"I don't think so. The way it looked and moved was identical to... Unless it wasn't your average manikin. Maybe it was like the ones Tidus and I encountered before," Cloud answered him.

"Do you want me to go investigate further?" Firion asked.

"No, I want you to stay here with Tidus. I'll go see what information I can find."

"Should we tell...?"

"No. Not until we're sure. It would only upset him," Cloud said.

Tidus held his breath for a moment, hoping to catch another word of what they were saying, but the men had grown quieter. The next thing Tidus knew, the tent was being opened, and he quickly sat up to greet his visitors, though he met them with a sour face.

"What's going on?" Tidus asked, folding his arms.

"Tidus, I thought you were asleep," Cloud answered, dropping a bag, which Tidus assumed was full of food, down beside Tidus' bedroll.

"I _was_. I'm not _now_. What's going on?" Tidus repeated. Firion moved forward and knelt down beside his friend.

"Cloud thinks he spotted something in the woods. He's going to scope it out," Firion said, gently.

"What are you doing here, Firion? Where's Squall?" Tidus asked, frowning as he got the feeling his friends were keeping something from him.

"Squall wished to continue on alone. I'd hoped I would be able to meet up with you two," Firion explained.

"Tidus, Firion's gonna stay here and heal you for a while, okay? I'll be back soon," Cloud said, nudging the bag of food with his foot. "There's a couple of apples in there for you."

"Cloud!" Tidus nearly shouted, leaving Cloud no choice but to meet his pleading gaze. "Please, tell me what's goin' on," the younger man begged, his voice weakening.

Firion and Cloud exchanged quick glances, then Cloud heaved a sigh and knelt down in front of his dear comrade. This was Tidus. Cloud couldn't keep this secret from him any longer, not with that betrayed look in his eyes.

"Listen, Tidus. I don't know what this means yet, but the other night, I was sure I spotted Cecil when we were travelling. And just now, it happened again," Cloud explained, leaving Tidus awestruck. His mouth parted in shock, his brows twisting up into a look of confusion.

"Cecil?" Tidus repeated. Cloud placed a hand on Tidus' knee.

"I know it doesn't make much sense. That's why I'm going to check it out."

Everyone fell silent. Firion and Cloud kept a close watch on Tidus, hoping for some change in his expression, but once it had gone from shock to sadness, it remained unchanging.

"Yeah, you should go," Tidus eventually said, his voice low and solemn, face drenched in anguish.

"I'll be as fast as I can. We all want answers," Cloud told him, standing up again.

"Be careful, Cloud," Firion warned, giving Cloud a friendly pat on the shoulder. Cloud gave him one in return.

"Cloud," Tidus spoke up, and Cloud looked back at him, their gazes intertwining. They could see the longing in each other's eyes, the desire for some sort of proper parting, but they couldn't act on it. Not with Firion here.

"Take care, okay?" Tidus' voice had grown even weaker than it had been. Cloud gave him the most reassuring nod he could manage.

"You, too," Cloud replied, honesty shining in his eyes. Then he turned and was gone before either could say another word. Tidus rubbed his arm, hoping it would ease the sudden chill that had gone through him.

"Do you want something to eat?" Firion asked, gently, offering Tidus the bag of food. Tidus turned away, hiding his face.

"I'm not really hungry anymore."

"Do you want me to heal you for a bit? Cloud said you were pretty badly hurt."

"Sure," Tidus sighed, rolling onto his stomach and burying his head in against the top of his sleeping bag.

He heard Firion digging through his own knapsack until he found his healing materia, then he pressed his soft fingertips to Tidus' bruised back. Tidus folded his arms out in front of him and lay his face in the crook of his elbow, hoping it would conceal the look of utter torment on his face.

What if Cecil really was back? What would that mean? If he'd had the chance to talk to Cloud alone, perhaps he could have gathered more information. Even if it'd taken some convincing, Cloud probably would have been honest with him about what he'd seen, or what his speculation was on the matter. If nothing else, he would have at least offered some comfort.

"Does it feel any better?" Firion asked. Tidus could feel the cool sensation of the magics seeping through his pores, and he knew Firion was the better of the two healers, but he yearned for Cloud; Cloud's touch was much more soothing to him. Cloud's healing powers went beyond the physical, and perhaps that was what Tidus needed most right now.

* * *

"Cecil?" Cloud called out as he walked warily through a cluster of trees. He was sure this was the place where he and Firion had spotted Cecil before. He'd caught just a glimpse of silver hair, and white and mauve armour, but it was a sight he'd also seen a few nights prior, which made him feel certain he hadn't imagined it, especially since this time, Firion had witnessed it as well. It didn't seem likely that Cecil had survived after they had watched him fade, but maybe by some miracle, he had.

"Cecil!" Cloud yelled again.

"You looking for this puppet?" came a voice that Cloud wasn't expecting. He immediately drew his sword and waited until Jecht walked out from behind one of the trees and pushed Cecil out in front of him, a strong fist clutching him by the shoulder.

"Puppet?" Cloud repeated, frowning. "What have you done to him?!"

"Quit yer yellin'. I didn't do a thing," Jecht shot back, shoving Cecil a few steps forward.

Cecil caught his footing and looked up at Cloud. When their eyes met, Cloud felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up straight. Cecil's blue eyes were now a deep shade of red, and the emotion in them was just... gone. Cloud swallowed, hoping it would wet his mouth enough to speak.

"Then what happened? This was Chaos' doing, right?"

"Using him? Hell, yeah. But it wasn't Chaos who brought him back," Jecht explained. Cloud continued to frown, unsure of whether he could trust Jecht or not, especially when he was talking in hints.

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked, slowly. He tried to ignore the way Cecil's emotionless eyes were still boring into him.

"Your goddess? Cosmos? She's the one who revived him. She's the reason he's a vegetable right now," Jecht explained, giving Cecil a hard pat on the shoulder, but the knight hardly flinched.

"What... What did she do?" Cloud asked, stunned that his voice wasn't failing him.

"Don't worry. Once he gets his memories back, he'll be fine. Just hope he'll stay on Chaos's side once he does," Jecht said, looking like he was about to turn and leave.

"Jecht!" Cloud shouted, tightening his grip on his sword.

Jecht stared at Cloud, his harsh expression fading a little when he saw the defeated expression in the Cosmos warrior's eyes. Whoever this soldier was, he looked like he was about as tired of fighting as was Jecht himself. Surely, he, too wanted to get out of this world as soon as possible.

"Please... If you know something about Cosmos' intentions, tell me. If not for my sake, then at least for Tidus'. He feels responsible for Cecil's death," Cloud explained, wishing he could muster more volume to his voice. Jecht stared at him a moment longer, then liberated a heavy sigh.

"Don't tell anyone I told ya, but seems to me, Cosmos doesn't like losing," Jecht replied, taking a few steps toward Cloud and nudging the puppet-like Cecil out of the way.

"What does that mean?" Cloud asked, lowering his sword slightly.

"When one of her warriors dies, she has a way of bringing 'em back. Doesn't matter how many times they bite the dust, she brings 'em right back into the fight."

"If that's true, then..." Cloud whispered, lowering his head. After a second, his eyes darted up to look at Jecht once more. "Jecht, does Chaos have power like this as well?"

"I'm not your ally, you know?" Jecht groaned, rubbing the back of his head, a gesture that Cloud quickly recognized as one of Tidus'.

"Just tell me," Cloud hissed through gritted teeth. "For Tidus."

Jecht swallowed, his mind wandering to his son. What kind of state was he in, he wondered. If his companion was here, begging for answers, how badly was Tidus hurt? How badly did he need to be returned to his homeworld? Jecht sighed again, unable to keep information to himself when his son was involved in this battle as well.

"They're working on it," Jecht admitted.

"Then... The fighting won't stop, will it? We're stuck in this endless cycle where no one can ever win," Cloud babbled, his words coming out in a rush. He felt like his world was crashing around him. He couldn't fight forever; he didn't have it in him.

"Calm down, kid. There are still ways to win," Jecht said, folding his arms in front of his tattooed chest.

"Like what? Wait until Chaos captures all of the revived Cosmos warriors?" Cloud demanded, casting a quick glance at the still motionless Cecil.

"That's one of 'em."

Cloud turned on his heel, fuming. Here he'd been, worried about losing this fight, terrified for Tidus' safety and the safety of his friends, when really, none of it mattered. If they were defeated, they would come back. And depending on who got to them first when they were revived, they would either fight for or against Chaos. What did it matter anyway? No matter what side they were on, in time, it would all start over again. And if Chaos was working on a way to revive his own warriors, then certainly, Cosmos didn't stand a chance. Not a chance in the world. Cloud couldn't bear to fight Sephiroth again. He just couldn't.

"Kid!" Jecht shouted, making Cloud stop in his tracks. Cloud was amazed when he'd actually managed to stop his shaking feet from moving.

"What?" Cloud snapped, refusing to turn around.

"My son..." Jecht trailed off. "Is he alright?"

Cloud's heart skipped a beat at the mention of Tidus, and he turned to face the Chaos warrior once more, his emotions freezing. He didn't know whether he should be feeling anger or sympathy. Quite honestly, right now he felt nothing.

"You know," he breathed, head falling forward sorrowfully. "It amazes me that Tidus turned out so well. To think someone could grow up in such a negative environment, and still end up being so kind... He's not like you or I."

"What are you getting at, boy?" Jecht tested, cocking his head to the side, his red eyes flaming.

"Your son has true strength. He doesn't need to fight you to prove that," Cloud frowned. Jecht appeared amused.

"You Cosmos kids sure have a sappy view o' life."

"We simply focus on emotions other than hate," Cloud explained, voice lacking the anger he expected it would hold. He turned around, heading on his way, but Jecht interrupted again.

"Hey. My kid—" Cloud reluctantly halted, and turned his head just enough so that Jecht could hear his words.

"Tidus will be fine," Cloud assured him, with a gentle nod. Then he turned back around, leaving Jecht and Cecil behind, and hurried toward the tent as fast as his body would permit.

* * *

"Cloud? Is something troubling you?" Firion asked, a look of concern appearing on his face as Cloud stormed into the tent.

"How is Tidus?" Cloud shot back, ignoring Firion's question altogether and heading for his knapsack in the corner of the tent. Firion cast a glance at Tidus from where he sat, just a few feet away.

"He fell asleep not long after you left. I believe the pain was wearing him out," Firion replied.

"Keep him safe, alright?" Cloud said, digging through his knapsack and discarding all of the unnecessary items onto the floor of the tent.

"Where are you going?" Firion demanded, standing up and approaching Cloud. He watched as Cloud tossed a couple of rings and charms out of his pockets to reduce his load.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Cloud said, removing two materia from his knapsack and drawing it closed. He removed his sword from his back and slipped the two materia into the slots on his blade.

"Cloud, slow down. What's got you so upset? Did you find something out about Cecil?" Firion asked. Cloud stopped what he was doing and slowly brought his eyes up to meet his companion's. He didn't speak, but Firion saw the answer to that question in his weary eyes.

"What happened?" Firion asked.

"Come on," Cloud sighed, placing a gentle hand on Firion's shoulder and coaxing him to follow him out of the tent. "Let's talk somewhere else. I don't want to wake Tidus."

* * *

_"Cloud, you're being reckless!" Firion argued, his expression fiercer than Cloud was accustomed to, but Cloud still remained indifferent._

" _Yeah, well, someone has to be," Cloud retorted, holding his blade out in front of him and inspecting it, making sure it was ready for combat. "Sitting around has gotten us nowhere."_

Firion lumbered into the tent with a heavy heart. He let out a soft sigh, and jumped when he realized Tidus was sitting up, staring at him. Firion shook his head to rid himself of his surprise.

"Tidus, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Did Cloud get back yet?" Tidus asked, quickly.

Firion felt his mouth go dry. Tidus' curious glance, his innocent half-smile... Firion knew he wouldn't be able to lie to him for long when he was looking at him that way.

"He had to go somewhere else," Firion explained, kneeling down at Tidus' side and placing a hand on Tidus' shoulder.

Tidus looked into Firion's eyes, and he immediately knew something was off from his friend's nervous expression. Tidus frowned a little, his heart starting to beat faster.

"Firion... What's wrong?" he asked, slowly, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Nothing's wrong," Firion said, forcing a shaky smile, but Tidus saw right through it.

"Cloud's okay, right?" Tidus' voice was weakening. Firion didn't respond. Instead, his gaze fell away from Tidus' as remorse swelled inside him.

"Where did he go?!" Tidus shouted, scrambling to his feet and staring down at Firion with penetrating eyes. Firion didn't have the courage to look at him, but somehow, he was still brave enough to declare the answer he sought.

Firion spoke. Tidus froze. Silence followed, and Firion's eyes eventually wandered upward. Tidus stared down at his once-trusted companion, his face emotionless for a second, then it twitched with anger before he grabbed his sword. He marched out of the tent without even bothering to fully dress himself again, and ignoring Firion's desperate calls for him to stay.

* * *

"Chaos!" Cloud screamed up at the sky, the Buster Sword held out to his side, clenched tightly in his hand. "This ends now! Show yourself!"

Cloud knew he was far enough from the campsite to keep Firion and Tidus safe. He was worried about what Tidus might do if he lost this fight, but if what Jecht said was true, then he would come back. Nothing he did in this world would matter unless he went straight to the source and ended Chaos for good.

Cloud could feel his hands shaking, his heart pounding. He knew that what he was doing was reckless. Perhaps it was even insane, but he didn't want to spend an eternity in this realm, fighting a war that could never really be won. And for the first time since he had come to this world, Cloud understood why he was fighting. He wanted a real life. He had spent too long on his own, too long immersed in battles. He had endured a broken heart for far too long. Cloud wanted to be free of all the pain that those things had caused him.

Cloud was fighting for liberty. He wanted freedom for Tidus and himself, a freedom that he and Zack had fought for and never gained. Cloud wanted to win this war fair and square, with no repercussions of destroyed cities or orphaned children. He wished to leave this place and start a life with Tidus somewhere it actually had a chance to flourish and grow, in a place where there were no more battles, or hate, or anger. He wanted peace.

"Chaos!" Cloud hollered again, straining his voice and hurting his throat in the process. Cloud gasped as the ground beneath him began to shake. He fell to his knees, his sword tumbling from his hand. He quickly reached out and grasped it again, pulling it closer to his body as the ground continued to rumble.

He closed his eyes as the world around him turned bright white. He waited. And waited. When the ground finally stopped shaking, he got to his feet and opened his eyes. His stomach flipped when he took in his surroundings. The sky above him was red. Meteors were falling all around him. The fresh forest air had disappeared, and Cloud's nose and throat were instead choked with the scent of smoke. Cloud looked straight ahead and stared at the figure sitting in the skull-covered throne just a few feet away from him, and shivered as he was met with the most vicious eyes and heinous smile he had ever seen.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm back! Yep, after an unexpected two-month hiatus. Sorry for such a long wait. After dealing with a death in the family, it took me a while to feel like writing again, but don't worry. I won't stop uploading until this story is done!


	26. Revival

**Chapter 26: Revival  
**

Cloud hit the dirt hard, rolling a few feet before he stopped. His arms were skinned. Blood was beginning to seep from his elbows. He lifted his head up, but the painful twinges in his back prevented him from moving any further. He let his head fall back down to the ground, disheartened as he realized his sword was lying just out of his reach.

"Is this the extent of your strength? I'm disappointed," Chaos cackled from his throne, his deep voice sending a tremor through Cloud's exhausted body.

Cloud closed his eyes. The pain made him want to cry. He was sure he'd broken a few ribs when Chaos had tossed him across the battlefield like a rag-doll. Cloud tried once more to push himself up off the ground, but his injuries prevented him from doing so. He let out a weak groan, and let himself fall back down. He had no choice but to give up. There was no fight left in him.

Little did he know that he didn't have to fight alone; two of his companions were only metres away. Tidus and Firion stood behind one of Chaos' red blades that were set in the ground, hoping the giant weapon would conceal them until they were able to make a move. Tidus waited behind the sword, his body bouncing with anxiety. There was a lump in his throat that he just couldn't swallow, and he knew he wouldn't relax until everyone came out of this rescue mission unscathed.

"Firion, we gotta get to him fast," Tidus hissed, urgently.

"I know, but we cannot move from here until we're sure Chaos isn't looking. We'll get caught otherwise," Firion reminded him, in an equally fierce whisper.

"How about another?" Chaos sneered before summoning a small meteor and sending it in Cloud's direction. Tidus closed his eyes as he heard a sickening crack and another moan from the Ex-SOLDIER. Tidus' hands formed tight fists, his heart thudding painfully against his chest.

"Firion, we gotta move." The panic in Tidus' voice made Firion even more on edge.

"Okay," Firion agreed, unable to risk endangering Cloud's life any longer.

Tidus crouched down, and glanced around the side of the blade before darting toward the next one, going unnoticed by Chaos. Firion hesitated before following, making sure he would not be spotted. Tidus was relieved when he glanced behind him and saw that Firion had successfully caught up with him.

Cloud opened his eyes, though he found himself peering through heavy lids. He searched his surroundings for some sort of escape, and hoped his body would obey him long enough to get out. Of course, he would probably be resurrected if he were to perish, but there was no guarantee what memories he would have when he awoke, and he couldn't be certain whether his allegiance would be with Chaos or Cosmos. Maybe it was futile to try to escape, but if there was one thing that mattered about his time in Cosmos' twisted world, it was Tidus. He had to make it back, for his sake. One more moment with him. A proper goodbye. That's all Cloud wanted now.

Cloud's eyes continued to scan the area, but his vision was going in and out of focus, and turning dark around the edges. Cloud let his lids fall closed for a second, and he took a deep breath, hoping it would help him muster enough strength to find his escape route. When his eyes opened this time, they came to rest on one of Chaos' blades about a foot away from him, a little to the right. His heart leapt as he caught a glimpse of a familiar form.

"Tidus?" he whispered, as his eyes fell closed again. Tidus' keen ears had picked up that weak voice, and Firion's hand on his arm was suddenly the only thing keeping him from bolting. The most he could do was poke his head around the side of the blade, and meet Cloud's hazy eyes.

"Tidus?" Cloud uttered again, fearing he might be hallucinating.

"I'm here," Tidus whispered back, further convincing his dearest friend of his presence, but Cloud was growing too weak to really make sense of anything.

Firion's tight grip on Tidus didn't falter as he rapidly ducked his head around the side of the blade, making sure they still hadn't caught Chaos' attention. The demon's penetrating eyes, however, were still focused on his first victim.

"Had enough?" Chaos tormented the defenceless Cloud. Cloud didn't move or speak. He couldn't.

"Firion!" Tidus pleaded weakly, turning to face the man. He desperately hoped his companion would realize the dire circumstances they were facing. He tried to shake free of Firion's grasp, but was unsuccessful.

"Tidus, you'll be killed," Firion whispered, wishing the urgency in his voice would be enough to scare Tidus out of doing something rash.

" _Cloud_ will be killed!" Tidus retorted, as he stepped a foot out from behind the blade. As he did, the ground began to shake as yet another meteor was summoned.

Tidus tried to catch his footing, and finally, thanks to the shaking, Firion released Tidus' arm, but there wasn't enough time for either of them to react. A meteor crashed to the ground directly beside Cloud, and its explosion sent him flying even further away from his allies. When the shaking stopped, Tidus didn't hesitate in charging toward Cloud, but Firion tugged him yet again behind the cover of another blade. His efforts to conceal them, however, were too late.

"What is this? More of Cosmos' tools?" Chaos taunted, with an evil smile.

"Cloud?" Tidus whispered, body twitching under Firion's strong hands, but the Ex-SOLDIER didn't react. "Cloud, I'm here. Just hang on, okay?"

Tidus could feel his heart sinking a mile a minute. His stomach was filled with an unshakeable nausea. His blood seemed to halt in his veins. Purple smoke was swirling around Cloud's body, and in this world, everyone knew what that meant. The same thing had happened with Cecil, even with enemies of Chaos. Cloud was dying.

"C-cloud?" Tidus choked out. Cloud thought he might have heard Tidus' voice again, but he was pretty sure it was just his mind's way of comforting him as he faded.

"Cloud!" Tidus shouted this time. It wasn't like it mattered. Chaos knew he and Firion were here now anyway.

"Tidus..." Cloud whimpered, forcing his eyes open one last time—his eyes meeting with Tidus' for a final few seconds—before his body was enveloped in fog.

Tidus felt a part of him die as he watched his beloved Cloud disappear with the smoke around him. He was frozen, trying to remember how to breathe. Firion's heart pounded as he watched Tidus' motionless form, and he gave Tidus' shoulders a gentle squeeze, letting him know he was there. The small comfort did little good. Once Tidus caught his breath, he let himself scream.

"Cloud! Cloud!" he yelled, his voice growing louder and more mournful each time.

His stumbling feet carried him out to where Cloud's body had been just seconds before, and he fell to his knees, nails grasping at the ground as if it might bring Cloud back. Firion was beside him in a second, and attempted to pull his struggling form back behind the sword. A hysterical Tidus fought him every step of the way.

Chaos smirked at the two who were so foolishly trying to hide from him. Had he wanted to, he could have eliminated them in a second, but this wasn't the final battle. He would let them escape for now, and save the rest of the fun for later.

"Firion, let me go!" Tidus hollered, but Firion merely spun him around to face him.

"Tidus, get a hold of yourself!" Firion shouted, violently shaking Tidus' shoulders. "What are you going to accomplish if you get yourself killed here, too?!" he shouted, his harsh tone making Tidus buckle under the emotional circumstances. A few seconds of deathly quiet silence passed, and Tidus started to tear up as his knees gave out beneath him.

"Come on," Firion coaxed, as he wrapped one of Tidus' arms around his shoulder.

Tidus let himself be dragged along with Firion as Chaos released one last meteor, his intentionally poor aim hitting the blade nearest them. Firion listened to Chaos' wild laughter as they ran for the exit, and prayed for Cosmos to lift them out of the dreaded wasteland.

* * *

Tidus was so still, he was hardly even blinking. He couldn't remember a time in his life when he'd felt this empty, this lost. He sat on his sleeping bag, his eyes fixed on the floor of the tent, so focused that he would have jumped had anything come into his line of vision. He felt like he should be sad, but at the moment, he couldn't feel anything. He was just hollow, trapped in some bad dream from which he hoped he would soon awaken. Cloud was gone; it was too horrible to be real.

Tidus wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there. It could have been hours. He wasn't really sure. He could hardly even remember escaping from Chaos' lair. The shock had been too great.

Firion entered the tent, and it took all his power to muster what he thought was a comforting smile for his distraught friend. He knelt down beside Tidus, the smell of the campfire wafting through the open tent door and alerting Tidus just a little bit. Still, he didn't take his eyes off the floor.

"I'm cooking up a bit of meat out here. Would you like some?" Firion asked.

"No," Tidus answered, monotonously, with a shake of his head.

"Come on, Tidus. Eat something. It will help keep your strength up," Firion said, gently, offering him the bag of food that Cloud had collected for him earlier. That was a mistake. Reality sank in a little deeper, bringing on a slew of emotions that Tidus hadn't been expecting. He slowly looked up, and met Firion with a glare.

"Firion, you knew. You knew what Cloud was gonna do and you didn't stop him!"

"Nothing I said would have stopped him. His mind was made up," Firion answered, somehow managing to keep his voice calm. Tidus wanted to slap him for even _trying_ to force a smile.

"Then you should have told me! He might have listened to me!" Tidus shouted, blood heating more with each word.

"Your attempts probably would have been as futile as mine." Tidus grew silent, and he tucked his knees up to his chest, tearing his eyes away from Firion's. He didn't know what Firion could possibly say that would keep him from welling up.

"You don't know that," he eventually whispered, letting his forehead fall against his knees.

He sucked in a shaky breath, and released it with just as much difficulty. He wanted to believe that Cloud might not have charged headlong into battle if he'd asked him not to, but there was no point in wishing. He was far too late to save Cloud.

When he thought ahead, toward the future, he honestly didn't know how he was going to recover from this. Losing Cecil had been bad enough, but losing Cloud was exponentially worse. Building a relationship with Cloud had been so rewarding, so special. He had _loved_ Cloud, and he'd thought that maybe, it was possible that Cloud might be starting to feel for him just as deeply. But if he had, then why had he left without a word?

Tidus eventually opened his eyes and turned his head to gaze upon the empty sleeping bag beside him—Cloud's sleeping bag. Just this morning, he had been lying here with Cloud, talking with him, holding him. What had either of them done to deserve such a devastating end?

"Tidus?" Firion reluctantly spoke up, his voice almost failing him.

"What?" Tidus answered, though his gaze didn't move from that empty sleeping bag.

"Was there something going on... between you and Cloud?" Firion asked, causing Tidus' breath to stick in his lungs. He almost wanted to turn and face Firion, to give him a straight answer, but Cloud would never have wanted that. He had always been a private fellow.

So, regardless of how proud it would have made Tidus to announce their relationship aloud, he couldn't do it. He couldn't do anything that would have made Cloud unhappy. Tidus tucked his knees up against him a little tighter and buried his face in his knees so quickly that Firion couldn't catch his gaze.

"Nothing you need to know about," Tidus mumbled. Firion stared at him a moment, and gave a sigh, knowing his efforts were doing no good here. He stood up and headed for the tent door, then turned back toward Tidus once more.

"I'll give you some time alone. Let me know if you need anything," Firion said, forcing another blasted half-smile as he exited the tent and headed for the campfire again.

Tidus raised his head off his lap once he was sure Firion was gone, then he crawled toward Cloud's sleeping bag. His fingers curled into it, and he sucked in a tearful breath. He wanted to stay strong, but right now, he didn't have the energy. With his next exhale, he collapsed onto the bedroll, exhausted and worn. He rolled onto his stomach and buried his nose in the soft fabric. He knew it was silly, but if he tried hard enough, he could still smell Cloud's scent deep within its fibres.

* * *

Tidus awoke to a cold sensation on his cheek. With a sigh, he raised his head and wasn't surprised when he found a wet circle of tears on Cloud's sleeping bag. His world crashed around him for the second time that day as he realized Cloud's battle with Chaos hadn't been a dream. Tidus lay back down and rolled onto his side, defeated.

His mind felt numb, dead, but somehow, it still began to wander—to the times when he'd so playfully thrown an arm around Cloud's neck, back when Cloud hadn't felt a thing for him. It wandered to each small advance he'd made, to each piece of information Cloud had released about himself, to their almost-kisses and passionate embraces. Their being together had changed Cloud. Tidus wanted to believe, now more than ever, that when they'd been close, Cloud had been happy. Not _almost_ happy. _Truly_ happy.

Tidus was sure he'd had purpose in Cloud's life, so why was he now here alone? Had it all been for nothing? He couldn't bear to think about it. He didn't have to. He could hear Firion's voice outside the tent, and Tidus lifted his head up when he heard another familiar voice in response.

Tidus reluctantly tore himself away from the comfort of Cloud's sleeping bag, and quickly exited the tent to where Firion stood, weapon drawn. Tidus followed Firion's gaze to where his father stood only a few feet away. Tidus made his way to Firion's side.

"Walk away, Jecht. No one is going to fight you today," Firion declared, a fierceness in his tone that was meant to scare Jecht away, not that it did any good.

"I'm not _interested_ in fighting today. I need to talk to my kid," Jecht replied, his eyes darting toward his son. Tidus stepped forward, but Firion put an arm out to stop him.

"Tidus, don't," he warned, but Tidus simply pushed him out of the way. His patience with Firion was wearing thin, and the last time Firion had held him back, it had ended up leaving him in this state: lost, heartbroken.

"I wanna hear what he has to say," Tidus replied.

The obvious pain in Tidus' voice was enough to make Firion back off—he knew Tidus was still furious with him—but he continued to watch Jecht carefully for any sign of hostility. Tidus approached his father until he stood in front of him, looking so exhausted and feeble that Jecht had a hard time not feeling sorry for him.

"Glad to see you're in one piece, at least," Jecht observed, barely managing a chuckle.

"What do you want, Dad?" Tidus asked, weakly. Jecht glanced at Firion, who was watching him like a hawk. Wary about Firion's intentions, Jecht pulled his son aside, keeping an arm on his shoulder as he spoke.

"You should get to Order's Sanctuary as fast as you can," Jecht explained, voice low enough that Firion couldn't hear him.

"Why?" Tidus asked, eyes on the ground.

"A few of Chaos' warriors are on their way there right now. I really think you should get there first," Jecht said.

"Why?" Tidus asked again. Jecht glanced around, worried he might be overheard by those even worse than Firion, before he turned back to his son.

"If Chaos heard me telling ya, I'd be in trouble," Jecht told Tidus. He adjusted his muscular arm on his son's shoulder.

"So what? I don't see why I should be running off just because you say so," Tidus frowned. Jecht sighed.

"Kid, if I could tell ya, I would. But just this once, I'm asking you to trust me. You can whip my ass later if I'm wrong about this," Jecht said, his mouth's firm line turning into a smirk. Tidus was silent for several long seconds, then he looked up to meet his father's red-eyed gaze.

"How do I get there?" Tidus asked, and he saw a look of relief appear on Jecht's face.

"Take this," Jecht instructed, holding his hand out and offering Tidus a small orange gem. "It's a teleport stone." Jecht went on when Tidus looked confused. "It'll get you to where you wanna go."

"Dad..." Tidus uttered, as Jecht let go of him and headed for the forest.

"Thank me later," Jecht replied, waving a hand behind him as he disappeared through the trees. Tidus closed his hand over the stone in his palm, and closed his eyes.

"What did he want?" Firion asked. Tidus didn't bother to turn and face him.

"I'm going for a walk, okay?" Tidus said, ignoring Firion's question altogether. Firion stared after him, face twisting into a frown. Wherever Tidus was going, he was going to be one step behind him the whole way.

Thankfully, Firion was able to keep up with Tidus ever since he left the campsite. He didn't make his presence known because he'd seen the way Tidus dealt with grief, and knew Tidus would push him away if he knew he was being watched. Still, Firion didn't trust Tidus' judgement right then, and he couldn't stand to lose another of Cosmos' warriors; he couldn't stand to lose another _friend_. But when Tidus used the teleport stone that Jecht had given him, Firion was forced to watch him disappear through a portal on his own. His spirits sank, and he just hoped that Tidus would have enough sense to keep himself out of trouble.

* * *

Tidus felt as if he were walking on ice. His legs were cold and shaky. He took each step with a great amount of uncertainty, like he wasn't sure if the ground beneath him would crumble or not. He didn't understand anything in that moment. He didn't understand his father's advice for him to come here. He didn't understand Cosmos' voice that had started to repeat itself in his head as he got closer to the Sanctuary, summoning him here. Yet, for some reason, Tidus had chosen to follow both Cosmos' and Jecht's words. What did it matter if it was a trap? Everything had been a meaningless blur since he'd watched Cloud vanish.

Every time Tidus even started to think about Cloud, it was like his heart shut down and left him hollow. He couldn't smile, couldn't feel, could hardly even move. So, when his father had suggested he come here, he didn't have the strength to fight it. He simply let his body lead the way. He needed a distraction, anything to take his mind off the sickening ache in his stomach, and the hole Cloud had left in his heart.

Tidus' brain finally began to register where he was: he had made it to Order's Sanctuary. He recognized the blue, water-like ground below his feet, rippling beneath him, yet holding him up as if it were solid terrain. Ahead, he could see a white pedestal. There sat Cosmos. In front of her, an even more comforting figure. Cosmos watched as the brilliant glow came back into the eyes of her dear warrior, Tidus, and smiled as the colour rose back into his cheeks.

"Cloud?" Tidus asked, his eyes scanning the body that lay on the ground.

Cosmos nodded to him, and Tidus rushed forth, kneeling beside the fallen warrior. He scanned the body—Cloud's closed eyes and parted lips, a few dirt spots here and there on his white cheeks. He raised a hand to touch him, then stopped, afraid that the body would be cold. He knew he couldn't bear it if that were the case.

"Is he...?" Tidus started, his uncertain eyes meeting those of the goddess.

"He is alive," she answered.

No sooner had she said those words had Tidus cradled Cloud's body in against him, his head resting on matted blond spikes. Tidus could feel his poor heart pounding against his chest again, unable to believe that Cosmos had somehow reversed this unbelievable tragedy.

"However, he is not yet himself," the goddess continued, causing Tidus to bring his head up and meet her gaze again.

"Not himself?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"It may take days for his memories to return. Right now, everything he was... is falling back into place," Cosmos explained.

"You mean... He doesn't remember?" Tidus asked, weakly, his eyes darting up toward the goddess once more.

"He doesn't remember you, nor does he remember anyone or anything else from his life. In time, he will, as long as you keep him safe. He is... easily influenced in this state."

Tidus gazed at her for a moment longer, not quite sure what she meant by that, but soon decided he didn't care. He brought his head back down to rest atop Cloud's as he gently rocked the body in his arms. He took this opportunity to check for injuries. He was sure there had to be some mark, some evidence of the battle that had taken place between him and Chaos. To his utmost shock, however, he couldn't see so much as a scratch. Cloud's hair was obviously less tidy than usual, and his shirt was a little torn, but whatever wounds he had suffered from were now gone. The thought triggered something in Tidus' mind, and he rose his head again to inquire to the goddess.

"Hey, Cloud said he thought he saw Cecil after he was defeated. Did you bring him back, too?" Tidus asked, looking a little hopeful. A solemn look suddenly crossed Cosmos' face.

"I did. Unfortunately, Chaos' warriors arrived before I could return him to you."

"Huh? What happened?" Tidus had barely gotten the words out when a loud boom exploded in the distance. The earth rumbled beneath Tidus' kneees, and he and Cosmos stared cautiously in the direction from which the sound had come.

"Tidus, you must run. Take Cloud. Go," Cosmos ordered, standing up quickly.

"What? Why?" Tidus demanded, wanting answers before he went anywhere.

"Chaos will take Cloud as well if you don't. Please, hurry! I will hold them off as long as I can," Cosmos urged him, raising a hand and beginning to cast what looked like a barrier spell. Tidus watched as blue and green streaks of magic fell around her.

"As well?" Tidus asked, mostly to himself, as Cosmos was clearly preoccupied now. Tidus glanced between Cosmos and Cloud, then hurried to his feet, pulling Cloud along with him. He quickly hauled Cloud onto his back, and held onto Cloud's arms to keep him in place.

"Be careful, Cosmos," Tidus warned, before taking off at a run.

* * *

Tidus was shocked to see Firion waiting for him on the other side of the portal, arms folded, a condescending look on his face. When Firion's eyes came to rest on Cloud, however, his expression softened, and he rushed to Tidus' side to help carry his unconscious comrade.

"What happened?" Firion asked, helping to lower Cloud off of Tidus' back. Each of them wrapped one of Cloud's arms around their shoulders. Tidus kept a watchful eye on Cloud as his head lolled limply forward, and with careful steps, he and Firion started to guide Cloud slowly back to the tent.

"Cosmos revived him," Tidus explained, still huffing a little from his long run back in Cosmos' Sanctuary.

"Revived him?" Firion asked, looking past Cloud's languid body at Tidus.

"Yeah, like Cecil. Only, I managed to get Cloud back here before Chaos snatched him. I think that's what happened to Cecil," Tidus told his companion.

"It is," Firion replied.

"Huh?" Tidus' curious glance made Firion want to answer him, though he knew Tidus might be mad if he did. Before long, he let out a sigh; he didn't see how Tidus could be more angry with him than he already was. What did he have to lose?

"Right before Cloud left to fight Chaos, he said he had spoken with Jecht. Apparently, Jecht admitted that Chaos' troops had captured and corrupted Cecil before he could make it back to us," Firion explained, surprisingly making Tidus' expression turn to that of hurt, rather than anger.

"So, we missed our chance to save Cecil?" Tidus' voice was weak. Firion didn't have the strength to answer.

Both men were relieved when the tent came back into sight, and they wasted no time in getting Cloud situated inside. It was dark now, and Firion rummaged in his knapsack for a materia to light the tent while Tidus got Cloud lying comfortably on his sleeping bag.

While Firion had his back to him, Tidus took the opportunity to gingerly brush some of Cloud's messy bangs away from his forehead. After that, he sat back and admired him, resting his head on the knee that was pulled up to his chest. Cloud was safe, but Tidus remained on edge, and was almost certain that feeling would continue until Cloud was himself again.

Firion retrieved a yellow materia, and moved to sit beside Tidus. He set the materia down beside them to light the dim space.

"What happens now?" Firion's eyes were focused on Cloud's sleeping form.

"Cosmos said it'll take a few days for his memories to return," Tidus answered, his lips forming a firm line as worry started to set in. He couldn't bear to think of how he would cope if Cloud somehow didn't recover from this supposedly temporary amnesia.

"It's just like Cecil," Firion mused, causing an immediate tension in Tidus' body. Tidus lowered his gaze. He was a little perturbed by how much information Cloud had been keeping from him, and even Firion, too.

"Just how much did Cloud tell you about Cecil?" he asked.

"Only what I've told you," Firion replied. He cast a quick glance in Tidus' direction, but he could tell from the look on his friend's face that he was not satisfied with the answer. Tidus fidgeted a little, but quickly found his voice again.

"What did Cloud say to you... when he went to fight Chaos?" Tidus tried.

"He simply wanted to end the fighting. Defeating Chaos was the only means he could see to achieve that," Firion attempted to explain, his thoughts returning to the moment when Cloud had run off; Cloud had been in such a rage when he had charged into battle, even _he'd_ seemed to have a hard time putting his reasoning into words.

Tidus was quiet for a minute, then he let out a sigh. His heart ached for Cloud as he thought about how much Cloud must have been suffering in silence. He knew Cloud was growing weary of a life of battles, but Tidus wished he had realized the extent of Cloud's pain. For him to take on Chaos on his own, without saying a word, he must have been desperate for an escape.

"I know he was tired of fighting. He told me that. I just don't understand why he would try to fight Chaos on his own, without even telling me," Tidus said, not really aware that his thoughts had come out aloud. Firion, however, took notice of how personally Tidus was taking the information.

He glanced at his companion again, searching for some answer written on his face, but Tidus didn't bother to meet his gaze, and without eye contact, Firion didn't have a clue what was going on in his friend's head.

"Perhaps this was something he felt he had to deal with on his own." Firion forced a smile in hopes that it might be of some comfort. Tidus, however, couldn't be soothed by the small gesture.

"Yeah, that's what worries me," Tidus sighed.

Firion was the one to fidget this time. The way Tidus was so concerned about Cloud, and Cloud's intentions... Firion couldn't help but wonder once again if there was something going on beneath the surface, but he wasn't usually one to pry.

"Cheer up, Tidus. Cloud is safe here with us. You should be proud of what you've done," Firion smiled once more. Tidus hugged his knee a little tighter; the other one was beginning to go numb from where he was sitting on it, but he was so focused on watching Cloud, it hardly even registered in his brain.

"I can't. Cloud's not out of the woods yet. I'm not gonna celebrate until he's back to his old self, memories intact."

Firion watched Tidus for what seemed like a while, his gaze so intent on Cloud, his posture so stiff. Tidus had always had a big heart, and was always ready and willing to protect whoever needed protecting. It was an outstanding quality to have in a companion, and Tidus certainly cared about his friends. Maybe his anxiety about Cloud's well-being was simply an example of that. Firion relaxed a little and drew his attention back to Cloud's unconscious form.

"I suppose it's wise not to get your hopes up," Firion agreed. "But let's not lose faith in Cloud, either. He's a strong warrior. Remember that."

Tidus finally managed to look in Firion's direction, and when Firion flashed him a gentle smile, he couldn't help but feel a little better.

"Thanks, Firion." A hopeful smile was on its way to his lips, but it fell short when Cloud let out a weak groan. Cloud's companions bolted upright, their attention caught by the sudden change in his condition.

"Cloud?" Tidus asked, leaning forward to get a better look. Cloud's face was scrunched up in what looked to be great discomfort. Firion rushed forward and raised Cloud's head just enough to ease a rolled up blanket underneath it for support.

"You're okay, Cloud," Firion whispered. "You're okay."

Firion draped a hand over Cloud's shoulder and let it linger there, and Tidus suddenly felt a little bit threatened by the way Firion had just taken over. With Firion's hand on Cloud's shoulder, what could Tidus do to provide comfort for Cloud? He wanted to help so badly, but didn't know how. At a loss, he sat back on his heels and simply watched, knowing any move he made now would border on being more-than-just-friendly, and Firion already seemed to be suspicious of them.

Suddenly, Cloud's eyes flew open, his gaze darting all around the room in a frenzy. Cloud jumped up into a sitting position, looking panicked, but his companions were quick to keep him from bolting. Firion tightened the grip he had on Cloud's shoulder, and Tidus scooted in front of Cloud, preventing him from getting up and taking off.

"Easy, there," Tidus whispered, crouching in front of Cloud's trembling body. When he looked in Cloud's eyes, a wistful sensation began to trickle through him. Those fearful, mako blue eyes... They didn't know him at all.

An emptiness filled Tidus' frightened body. For once, Tidus didn't even know how to start comforting his partner. How could he when he was nothing but a stranger to Cloud?

Cloud searched Tidus' eyes for a long time, but his lost and fearful expression never changed. Firion tugged gently on Cloud's shoulder, trying to guide him back down to his sleeping bag, but it was no use. Cloud remained stiff and still.

"I know you don't know us," Tidus started, gently, summoning his courage from the very depths of his heart. He could see Firion through the corner of his eye, looking at him like he was crazy for trying to explain something so complicated. "But you don't have to worry. We're not gonna hurt you," he went on. He hoped he would start to see Cloud's tension lessen, and he did a little, but not enough for him to feel at ease yet.

"Tidus, he might not even understand you," Firion said, voice soft so he wouldn't scare Cloud.

"I know, but it's worth a shot, right?" Firion gave a reluctant nod, and Tidus turned his attention back to Cloud.

"Firion and I, we're gonna take care of you 'till you get your memories back, okay? We've, um, got some water here if you're thirsty," Tidus explained, with a gentle grin, digging his canteen out of his item bag to show Cloud. "Oh, and there's food if you're hungry," he continued, tossing the canteen aside and smiling wider when Firion caught on to what he was doing, and passed him the bag of food.

"We've got apples," Tidus offered, pulling an apple out of the bag and holding it out in his palm for Cloud to see. Cloud glanced between Tidus and the red fruit, looking more confused than nervous now, which Tidus took to be progress. Tidus slowly lowered the apple back into the bag and looked back at Cloud.

"Or maybe you're just tired. You can go back to sleep if you want. It might help your memories come back," Tidus went on.

He was hesitant to move away from Cloud, but he made himself trust that Cloud wouldn't run away, even if he was given the option. Slowly, carefully, Tidus moved to his own sleeping bag and lay down on his side, still facing Cloud.

"See? Sleeping is nice and relaxing," Tidus whispered. "You wanna try?"

Firion let go of Cloud's shoulder, and moved back to give Cloud some more space. Cloud's curious eyes remained on Tidus, but after a silent, motionless minute, Cloud lay back down, keeping his head turned to face his strange, new instructor. Tidus gave him a gentle smile.

"Good job. Feels nice, huh? Now just close your eyes," Tidus encouraged him, closing his own eyes and hoping Firion would let him know when Cloud followed his example. Tidus waited and waited in darkness for several minutes. He didn't open his eyes again until Firion spoke.

"He's asleep."

"Really?" Tidus asked, excitement popping into his wide eyes. He sat up and gazed down at Cloud, his state of slumber evident in his slow, steady breathing and lightly shut lids.

"I'm amazed at how well you were able to calm him," Firion marvelled. "Tidus, the Cloud-whisperer."

"I'm not a Cloud-whisperer," Tidus said, shaking his head. "I'm just plain amazing." Firion laughed.

"Alright, then. I'm gonna go start a fire. I'll take the first round of night-watch if you want."

"Not a bad idea. Chaos might be on the lookout since we swiped Cloud before they could," Tidus agreed.

"You'll be okay with him?"

"Yeah, fine. I'll holler if anything goes wrong," Tidus assured him. Firion smiled and gave a nod before exiting the tent, leaving the two alone. Tidus turned his head toward his sleeping partner.

He let out a heavy breath, his eyes trailing over Cloud's body. Cloud looked so fragile; it was no wonder he did, after a fatal battle with Chaos, and being revived with memories that would only recover with time. All Tidus wanted now was to be there at his side, to aid his healing in any way he could. Gently, he reached out for him.

"Sweet dreams, buddy," Tidus smiled, weakly, trailing his fingers over Cloud's cool shoulder. Now that Firion was gone, Tidus had no reason to take his loving eyes off of him. He just hoped Cloud could feel him watching over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, this month, this story has celebrated its one-year anniversary of being online! Yay! A fun year it has been, and it's been awesome chatting with/getting comments/kudos/etc. with and from all of you. Don't worry, either. Still more chapters to come!
> 
> Too bad I've never been too fond of this chapter in particular. Ever since I wrote it (like 2-3 years ago?), I disliked it, but I don't really know how I would improve it and still have it tie in with future/past events. Anyway, I've been reading a lot of writing tips lately and one of the common things that keeps coming up is allowing yourself to write lines you don't like. Not everything you write is going to be perfect, or even all that good, but by making mistakes and noticing things you don't like, you're going to improve in the long run. There comes a time when you have to say 'enough editing' and just upload it. If I didn't do that, Chapter 1 still probably wouldn't be up, haha. Hopefully, it's not too terrible, though.
> 
> Just a heads-up, too. I've been re-reading the whole story again, and I've gone back and fixed some errors, so if you notice any remaining mistakes in the first 12 chapters, and think they should be fixed, please let me know. The more polished it is, the happier I'll be! Thank you all for sticking with me for this whole year! Hope you'll stay 'til the end!


	27. Reciprocal

**Chapter 27: Reciprocal**

Three days passed while Cloud continued on his road to recovery, but Tidus' worries never seemed to subside. At times, they lessened, but always returned with more intensity than before. The longer Cloud was unable to talk, the harder it became for Tidus to believe he would be okay. Still, he took Firion's advice, and forced himself to keep faith in his dear companion; if he didn't give up on Cloud, maybe Cloud wouldn't either.

This night was much like the last few. Tidus took the first round of night-watch while Firion looked after Cloud, then they switched. It wasn't like Cloud needed much taking care of—just a watchful eye, and a soothing voice when he was distraught. The warriors made sure to give him lots to drink to keep him hydrated, and provided him with a small snack here or there, but other than that, there was little work involved in caring for him.

Firion collected his sword from the corner of the tent, and Tidus moved to kneel on his sleeping bag next to Cloud. Firion strapped his blade to his hip, and glanced up at Tidus. He was poised and still, his hands resting gently on his knees, eyes already fixed on his unconscious companion.

"Looks like you've got this watching thing down pat," Firion chuckled lightly. Tidus broke his concentrated gaze to look at Firion.

"Yeah, well, I wanna do a good job," Tidus half-smiled, his shoulders rising in a quick shrug.

"Of course. And you do," Firion reassured him, smiling confidently in return. "You didn't see anything out of the ordinary during your night-watch, I presume."

"Not a thing. Oh, wait. There _was_ this bird that flew overhead. And, uh, if I squinted, I was sure I could see a tomato in the constellations," Tidus teased.

"You're getting me going, aren't you?" Firion asked, raising a brow. Tidus' slight smirk turned into a full-out grin.

"Yeah, I'm just joking with ya." Tidus' genuine smile made Firion feel more at ease than he had in a while. He and Tidus had seemed to be at odds lately, especially over the past few days, and he hoped this was Tidus' way of saying all was forgiven, but Firion needed to rid himself of his remaining guilt.

"Tidus, I feel I must apologize," Firion spoke up, placing a hand over his heart. His sudden change in tone caused Tidus' smile to fall away. It was replaced with a look of confusion.

"Huh? For what?" Tidus asked.

"It is my fault that Cloud went on alone to fight Chaos. I should have tried harder to stop him. I should have at least warned you," Firion went on, closing his eyes. He was obviously waiting for an onslaught of angry words in response, but none followed.

"You don't have to apologize, Firion," Tidus said, gently. He lowered his head, not because he was ashamed, but because of the ache in his heart.

Thinking about that day certainly still hurt, but it wasn't because of what Firion had done. Now that he had calmed down, he realized the problem wasn't with Firion. It wasn't even with Cloud. He figured _he_ must have missed something, some sign of Cloud's plan. He'd blind to whatever was bothering Cloud—bothering him so much that he had attacked Chaos on his own.

Placing blame was pointless. Maybe all of them deserved some of it, but it was easier to disregard it all, and focus on moving on. When Firion dared to open his eyes, Tidus' serene smile was back on his face—much to Firion's surprise—as their gazes locked.

"It wasn't your fault. Besides, it wasn't really you I was upset with. At the time, I just..." Tidus' smile faltered a little, and his eyes fell away from Firion's. "I just had to blame _someone_." Firion stared at his companion; Tidus was so still, so silent.

"In fact, _I_ should be the one apologizing," Tidus went on, but Firion held a hand up to silence him.

"No apology is necessary, Tidus. I'm just glad to know we're on good terms," Firion said, with a smile that quickly became contagious.

"Yeah, me too," Tidus replied. Firion gave him a grateful nod.

"I won't be far," Firion told his friend before slipping outside and zipping the tent closed behind him. Tidus waited for Firion's footsteps to fade, then he scooted in a little closer to his dormant partner.

"Hey, Cloud," he whispered, soothingly. "It's just you and me now, okay?"

With careful hands, Tidus propped Cloud up into a sitting position, and cautiously pulled him in against his warm body. Cloud's legs lay bent over Tidus' lap while his head drooped against Tidus' chest. Tidus raised a hand and held it against Cloud's head to steady it. His free arm hung around Cloud's waist, resting there just tightly enough to keep Cloud from falling away from him.

This position had become routine over the past few nights. The first time Firion had left them alone, Tidus had become desperate for some way to lessen the distance that Cloud's cognitive state had put between them. He knew there were other ways, like talking to Cloud while he slept, or stroking his face or hands, but holding Cloud like he was now seemed to be the thing that best comforted them both.

Tidus loved the feel of Cloud in his arms. He adored Cloud's breath warming him through the material of his shirt. He enjoyed watching the subtle twitches of Cloud's facial features, and listening to the sound of his deep inhales. And somehow, Tidus could just tell that Cloud enjoyed being this close to him, too. Maybe it was the way Cloud always seemed to gravitate toward his warmth, the way he would snuggle in just a little closer whenever he felt those arms pulling him in. Tidus couldn't say for sure, but he didn't care. It seemed like his methods of comfort were working, and that was enough.

Tidus' features curved into those of concern as he reflected on the past few days. The worst parts of Cloud's recovery where the times—and Firion had witnessed them, as well—when Cloud cried in his sleep. Tidus was almost positive that those were the times when Cloud's worst memories were falling back into place. Tidus tried to imagine that pain, the pain of Zack and Aerith's death, the pain of losing his hometown. He doubted the images he'd conjured up in his mind were anything close to what Cloud had seen. He would probably never know just how traumatic Cloud's experiences had been, but when he watched Cloud's tears and heard his cries, he could _feel_ his partner's despair. He wished he could be certain that Cloud could feel him there, holding him. He hoped Cloud knew he wasn't alone.

One night, Cloud had cried so hard, he had woken himself up. Tidus had been holding him at the time, and Cloud had stared up with him with so much fear and hatred, as if Tidus had caused those memories that haunted his dreams. Cloud had broken free of Tidus' hold, moved back onto his sleeping bag, and lay down on his side, curling up into his own warmth. Tidus had felt useless, unable to settle Cloud's nerves when he needed it the most.

"I'll be right here if you need me, okay?" Tidus had whispered, but Cloud never called for him. He'd never looked at him or beckoned for him in any way. Needless to say, when Firion had returned for his shift, Tidus took off faster than he ever had before, and once he was outside, he had cried for Cloud. He had cried for the both of them.

There were other times when Firion and Tidus thought Cloud might be coming back to them, only to realize he was further from them than ever. His eyes would flicker open, but they were emotionless. Empty, just as Cecil's had been. At these times, Cloud was jumpy. Once, Firion had attempted to drape a blanket over his shoulders to keep him warm, and Cloud had flinched at his touch. It broke Tidus' heart to see him like that, but it hurt even more when Cloud remained still and silent, his hazy, distant eyes a constant reminder that he was just a shadow of what he used to be.

As Tidus sat with him now, however, Cloud seemed content, soothed in his state of sleep. Tidus smiled down at him. He closed his eyes and began to hum a tune that he remembered from his childhood days in Zanarkand. He'd been told before that he couldn't hold a note, but Yuna had told him once that she liked his voice, and Tidus liked to sing, so he did it anyway. Cloud didn't seem to mind. Tidus absentmindedly let his hand travel through Cloud's hair. He'd been doing it so much lately that almost all the knots and matted strands had been smoothed out. Firion must have wondered how that had happened.

Tidus jumped when he heard Firion's footsteps outside the tent again, and he scrambled to get Cloud back to where he had previously been arranged on his sleeping bag. He lowered the man back down, his arms and chest immediately chilled by the surrounding air without Cloud's body against him.

"Tidus, I want you to come and look at something," Firion called. Tidus gave Cloud's shoulder an affectionate squeeze, and did his best to regain some sort of composure before he walked on out there.

"Coming," he replied, straightening out his clothes a little before marching outside, forcing himself not to look back at the sleeping Ex-SOLDIER. "What's up?" he asked, hands fumbling with the tent zipper.

"It's this gate. It seems to be glowing brighter than before, and that worries me," Firion said, motioning toward the portal with his hand. The centre of the stone archway was gleaming with a far more brilliant light than before, its purples, pinks, and whites swirling rapidly.

"I think it's only my old man who uses that gate anyway. I wouldn't worry about it, Firion," Tidus replied, with a yawn, completely unconcerned with matters of his father at the moment.

"Don't you think it might be a good idea to relocate?" Firion questioned, brows upward-turned, looking quite nervous. Tidus gave him a hard pat on the back.

"C'mon, Firion. Ease up, will ya? I'm telling you, there's no danger here," Tidus tried to convince him.

"What worries me is that Jecht didn't use that gate the last time he visited us. So, why, now, has he returned to that gate?"

"I'll bet I know why," Tidus sighed, his gaze descending to the ground. "He's waiting for me to fight him again."

Firion glanced at Tidus, his expression growing even more worried.

"You plan to fight him again? After what happened before?" he asked. Tidus frowned, and tried not to take offence to the comment. So he had messed up once; didn't mean he would do it again.

"I have to," he said, flexing his hands, "I don't have much of a choice."

"What if he comes looking for you? He might try and start a fight here," Firion said.

"He won't," Tidus replied, shaking his head. "He wanted me to fight him through that gate, at Dream's End. That place means something to both of us."

"As long as you don't think we're in danger..."

"We're not," Tidus assured him. "And don't worry. I'll fight him soon enough."

Both men fell immediately silent, and listened hard in the direction of the tent. Sounds of light shuffling emerged. They were faint at first, then grew a little louder. Both warriors eyed each other, uncertainly.

"Did you hear...?" Tidus started.

"Yes, I think so."

Quickly, the two headed inside the tent, and their mouths fell open when they saw Cloud sitting up on his sleeping bag, looking surprisingly lucid. Cloud looked up at them when they entered, and they could just tell by his eyes... He was back.

"Firion? Tidus?"

"You remember?" Firion asked, relief evident in his features. Tidus was too shocked to even react. He simply stood there, mouth agape, his brows twitching in concern.

"More or less," Cloud replied, rubbing a hand against his tired forehead.

"You remember us? Your homeworld? Your fight against Chaos?" Firion asked, just to make sure.

"All of it."

"Really? All of it?" Tidus asked, finally finding his voice and taking a step forward on shaky legs.

"All of it," Cloud nodded, giving Tidus an explanatory look that put his mind at ease. Cloud remembered him, and all they'd shared together. That was all Tidus needed to know. The young blitzer let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, good. At least that's settled," Tidus replied, with a weak grin.

"How are you feeling, Cloud? No pain?" Firion asked.

"No pain, but I am a little drowsy," Cloud admitted.

"Drowsy? You slept for practically three days straight!" Tidus teased. "Maybe we just need to get some food into you." Cloud put a hand to his stomach.

"I _am_ pretty hungry."

"Then you'll be glad to know I have a fire going outside. Why don't you come out and get something to eat, Cloud?" Firion asked.

"Sounds like a plan," Cloud smiled. Firion bent to pick up his bag of newly collected food, and turned back to Cloud.

"Come outside whenever you're ready. Tidus, you'll help him out?" Firion asked.

"'Course, I will," Tidus nodded.

Firion left the tent, and Tidus bit his lip, watching Cloud timidly. Cloud sighed, averting his eyes, knowing that look of apprehension far too well.

"Tidus, don't look at me like that. I'm fine," Cloud assured him, pushing himself to stand up.

Tidus watched as he wobbled, and he rushed forward, catching Cloud before his knees gave out beneath him. Tidus' strong hand supported Cloud's chest, and Cloud managed to stand up straight again, but not without holding onto Tidus' arm for support. He looked up and met his partner's gaze.

"Fine, huh?" Tidus asked, the tiniest smile imaginable creeping onto his face. Cloud let out a soft chuckle and let his head fall against the crook of Tidus' neck, his body trembling with a weakness he hadn't been expecting.

"G-guess I shouldn't have stood up so fast," Cloud tiredly stuttered.

He was startled when Tidus' arms laced around him, pulling their bodies even closer together, each curve fitting into each other perfectly. Cloud settled into the contact as he felt those gentle hands lock around his back, keeping him steady. Tidus' head fell forward, his eyes closing tightly.

"I should be furious with you for running off like that, fighting Chaos on your own," Tidus said, his voice muffled as he buried his head against Cloud's hair. "I sort of wish I was, but I'm not. I'm just glad you're okay."

Cloud remained still in Tidus' arms, shocked by the sudden emotion in Tidus' voice, but he soon relaxed, and brushed a thumb over Tidus' arm.

"I'm sorry," Cloud said, softly, carefully looking up at Tidus. "I didn't mean to scare you, I just— I felt I needed to do _something_."

"Tell me first, next time." Tidus smiled weakly against Cloud's forehead. "I'm here. You can lean on me, okay?"

Cloud paused, reflecting on those words. He lowered his head, solemnly, apologetically. It had been too long since he had been in a situation like this, where he _could_ depend on someone. At one time, he probably wouldn't have even felt he deserved it, but being with Tidus was different. Tidus always had that way of letting Cloud know he _wanted_ to be there, whether Cloud requested his help or not. Tidus never minded being called upon, or confided in; he actually longed for it, so Cloud had to ask himself, why _hadn't_ he let Tidus in on his plan? He didn't have to ponder for long. He knew exactly why.

"What?" Tidus questioned, knowing the man well enough to sense when he had doubts.

"I guess I'm just not used to this. Having someone I can lean on," Cloud said, softly.

Tidus suppressed a sigh, realizing that perhaps he'd underestimated just how alone Cloud had felt before he'd come to Cosmos' world. He tried not to be disheartened by those words, and quickly decided instead to do what he did best: try to make things better.

"Well, you'd better get used to it, buddy. 'Cause I'm not going anywhere," Tidus smiled. Cloud looked up again, and couldn't help but smile back as Tidus pressed his forehead against his own.

"I'm glad," Cloud breathed. He leaned forward, brushing their noses together before meeting Tidus' lips in a tender kiss. Finally, Tidus' tension fell away. Cloud was back. Really back. Cloud exhaled peacefully as they parted.

"We should go outside before Firion comes in here looking for us," he said, reluctantly pulling away from Tidus' embrace.

"Guess you're right. He might start to wonder about us, huh?" Tidus smirked, hand trailing down to give Cloud's a loving pat.

"Yeah."

Cloud led the way out of the tent. As they emerged, they were greeted by the smell of food roasting on the fire. Firion was crouched by the fire pit, twirling three sticks with several small chunks of meat on them, making sure they were thoroughly cooked on all sides. Tidus flopped down to sit on the ground beside Firion, and Cloud took a seat next to his partner.

When Firion was satisfied with the tenderness of the meat, he offered a kebob to each of his companions, and kept one for himself. Then they dug in, chewing away hungrily at their meal as the shimmering white moon hung above them. Tidus' appetite soon wavered, but he managed to smile when he peeked out of the corner of his eye and saw how eagerly Cloud was hoeing into his dinner. Obviously, the small offerings of fruit they had given him when he was recovering hadn't tided him over so well.

"Thanks, Firion. This is delicious," Cloud spoke up.

"Happy to hear it," Firion replied, with a gentle smile. "Tidus, you've hardly touched yours," he added, turning to his other companion.

"Oh, uh, sorry. I got distracted," Tidus said, shaking his head and taking another bite of his food.

He didn't know why, but his mind kept wandering. Cloud— _his_ Cloud—was alive and safe, his memories back in their places, but Tidus still felt unsettled. He couldn't take the credit for Cloud's safety; Cloud was here because of Jecht. If it weren't for Jecht's instructions to go to Order's Sanctuary, Tidus would have never even been aware of Cloud's revival.

Tidus' eyes wandered to the glowing gate to his right as his anxiety continued to grow. So many questions remained unanswered. Why had Jecht helped him save Cloud? What did Jecht have to gain from helping his son's companion? And, why did Jecht tell Cloud about Cecil and the revival of the other warriors? Was it to scare him, or help him? Providing Cloud with such valuable information was surely only helping team Cosmos.

Was it possible Jecht was just trying to get Tidus' attention so he would fight him again? If Jecht was waiting for a rematch, then Tidus wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible; his worry would only increase if he didn't.

With a sigh, Tidus got up from the ground and lay his half-eaten kebob down by the fire. Firion and Cloud watched him warily.

"What's wrong, Tidus?" Firion asked.

"It's my old man," Tidus said, nodding his head in the direction of the gate. "I'm starting to think maybe I shouldn't keep him waiting."

"You mean, he's in there? Is that why the gate is glowing stronger?" Cloud asked, with a frown.

"Yeah, me and Firion were talking about it before you woke up. I think he wants to take me on again," Tidus replied. He could see Cloud's tension rise out of the corner of his eye.

"You mean, you're really going to fight him again?" Cloud asked, concern radiating from his bright blue irises.

"I have to. Obviously, _him_ beating _me_ didn't solve anything. If it had, he wouldn't be waiting for a rematch. Remember what happened the first time? He told me we'd fight again when I was ready."

"Tidus, have you even fully recovered from your last match with him? You shouldn't go in there if you're not at your best," Cloud warned him. He remembered too well the extent of the damage.

"Well, you know, I'm still a little sore, but it's not like I'm at a huge disadvantage or anything," Tidus said, with a shrug, one that didn't convince Cloud of anything.

"It's enough of a disadvantage to get you hurt again," he argued. "You suffered a broken spine, Tidus."

"Let's calm down," Firion cut in. "Tidus, why do you feel you have to fight right now?"

"You said it yourself, Firion, and maybe you're right," Tidus started, heaving a sigh. "As long as my old man is set up next door, we're all facing potential danger." Tidus could feel his friends' gazes on him, but he couldn't bear to meet them.

"I guess anything is possible. He could have Chaos' lackeys with him, or he could be planning a way to take us all down. Most importantly, I have some things I wanna ask him, and... The thing is, I don't want someone else to get caught in the crossfire," Tidus finished, his voice weakening as he revealed more than he'd intended to.

"Tidus..." Cloud whispered. So that was it. There was more to Tidus' desire to fight than simply settling things with Jecht.

"Tidus, you can't keep blaming yourself for what happened to Cecil," Firion spoke up. Tidus swallowed hard.

"Why not? Don't you realize that we're going to have to fight him?! He's on Chaos' side now, and that wouldn't have happened if I had just been paying attention," he went on, his voice dying near the end of his sentence.

"That's no reason to charge headlong into a fight that you're not sure you can win. Trust me, I know," Cloud spoke up, catching Tidus' eye.

Tidus backed off, and his gaze fell away from Cloud's as he thought back to Cloud's futile battle with Chaos. His mind then travelled to the stories he'd heard of Zack, the way Zack had faced impossible odds to save Cloud's life. Yes, Cloud certainly did know of fruitless battles far too well. In his heart, however, Tidus felt this battle was different. He knew Jecht now; he knew his manoeuvres and techniques, and this time, he wouldn't have to worry about protecting Cloud, either. Cloud and Firion would be safe here, and their support would push him through this fight. And with a new insight on how to approach this battle, Tidus honestly believed he could win.

"Cloud, you knew since I got hurt that I was going to fight him again. It's okay. I'm not going to lose this time," Tidus tried.

"Confidence is good, Tidus. It will certainly help you in your fight," Firion smiled nervously, trying to relieve the obvious tension between the two.

"He had confidence the last time, too. Remember where that got him," Cloud muttered, but he instantly regretted it when he saw Tidus recoil. Those words had stung, and Tidus tried his best to shake them off, but it was hard when they had come from Cloud.

"Tidus, I'm sorry," Cloud whispered, the hurt look on Tidus' face too strong to ignore.

"Maybe last time I got a little distracted," Tidus sighed, easily recalling how nervous he had been the first time, how he had wanted Cloud with him for safety's sake. "But this time, I'm going in alone, and I know I'll be okay. Can you both, please, just have a little faith in me?" he asked, his brows twisted up into a worried look. Firion gave a gentle nod.

"Of course. We will await your safe return," Firion smiled. Tidus turned to Cloud next, concern in his features.

"Cloud?" he asked, timidly.

Cloud was silent for a moment, and he closed his eyes as he tried to come up with something to say. Sure, it was hard for him to let Tidus go into this fight alone, but he recognized that nothing in their relationship would work if they didn't trust each other. He had to trust Tidus' judgement right now, even if it meant fearing for his safety.

"Can I just ask one thing of you?" Cloud spoke up.

"What is it?" Tidus asked.

"Let me heal you a bit more first?"

"Cloud—"

"Cloud has a point, Tidus. You want to be ready," Firion added.

Tidus eyed his anxious companions before his gaze travelled back to the gate. He wanted to settle things with Jecht. He wanted answers. He wanted to keep his friends safe, but he didn't want to put any extra strain on Cloud if he didn't have to; Cloud deserved some peace of mind, especially while he was recovering.

"Yeah," Tidus sighed. "Okay."

"You can fight in the morning, if you want to," Cloud told him.

"Yep."

Cloud pushed himself to stand on shaky legs, and Firion was up in a second.

"Are you sure you don't want me to heal him, Cloud? You are still recovering," Firion reminded him.

"No, that's alright, Firion. I'll do it," Cloud gently insisted.

"If you're certain. Meanwhile, I will go collect more wood for the fire," Firion replied.

"Sounds good," Cloud agreed. Firion headed off with a nod, and with an arm hovering behind Tidus' back, Cloud guided the reluctant Tidus toward the tent.

"I woulda been fine, you know?" Tidus uttered, his eyes focused on the ground as he walked.

"I know, but, better safe than sorry," Cloud gently replied.

The tent was dim compared to the morning's bright light outside, but being in small dark quarters with each other wasn't something either of them was going to complain about. Cloud let out a sigh of relief as he knelt down, giving his trembling body a rest. Tidus sat down in front of him, and leisurely removed his shirt, revealing his damaged back, still sprinkled with huge dark purple patches. Cloud reached for the green materia that lay abandoned on the tent floor, and gently pressed it to Tidus' skin.

"You shouldn't wear yourself out with all this healing. You just woke up, and you still seem pretty weak," Tidus reminded him.

"I'll be alright. I want to help," Cloud replied.

"Okay..."

Cloud's eyes scanned over the injuries covering Tidus' back. The bruising had certainly lessened since he had seen Tidus last, but Cloud couldn't help but dwell on the damage that had been done on the inside. He would never forget that day at Dream's End, healing Tidus' broken body for hours on end, until he was confident he had mended every shattered bone.

"Has it gotten any better?" Cloud asked, hopefully.

"It's better. You know, Firion's a good healer, but..." Tidus trailed off.

He didn't need to finish his sentence for Cloud to know what he wanted to say. His peacefully closed eyes spoke volumes as Cloud's bare fingertips grazed over his injuries. Cloud simply released a soft smile, and revelled in the realization that he could, in fact, provide the comfort that he'd always hoped he could give Tidus.

"Say, Cloud, do you think I'll be able to do it this time? Beat my old man?" Tidus spoke up. He held his breath, awaiting Cloud's answer, praying that Cloud had confidence in him.

"If you believe you can, then I have to believe in you, too," Cloud replied. Tidus turned his head to look behind him, and attempted to catch Cloud's eye.

"That's not exactly what I wanted to hear," Tidus almost whispered. Guilt caused Cloud to bite his lip. He removed his hand from Tidus' back, and allowed Tidus to scoot around to face him. Tidus' blue eyes stared into Cloud, seeking answers from deep within him.

"I just want you to think about what you're doing. I want you to be sure you're ready," Cloud spoke up. Tidus' face tumbled into a frown.

"Hey, did you feel ready when you ran off to fight Chaos?" Tidus tested him.

Cloud blinked in surprise.

"Fighting Chaos alone was a mistake," he quietly admitted, once he had found his voice. "I was severely injured."

"That's an understatement," Tidus muttered, rolling his eyes. Cloud swallowed hard, as he realized how badly he had hurt Tidus when he'd charged into that battle. Tidus may not have been upset earlier, but he was now, and perhaps he had a right to be. Cloud had betrayed his trust.

"Cloud, it's not like I'm being reckless. I messed up last time," Tidus went on, when Cloud appeared to be speechless. "When my old man spotted you, I panicked. I didn't want him to hurt you. Especially after what happened with Cecil."

"I understand that, but I can't help but worry you'll be hurt again. Going in alone _will_ eliminate a distraction, but it also leaves you without a healer if something does go wrong," Cloud tried to explain. His eyes were slanted upward, and there were too many lines in his forehead to count; Tidus hated that look he was wearing. He looked far too distressed.

"Cloud?"

"Yeah?"

"You're really scared, aren't you?" Tidus asked, his frustration dwindling. The corners of his eyes twitched with concern. Cloud met his gaze with sincerity.

"Of course, I'm scared," he almost whimpered. "Tidus, we've lost a companion on this journey. I've lost several people who meant the world to me. I'm sorry if I don't support your decision one hundred percent, but it's only because I don't want to lose someone else I love."

Tidus looked like he'd just choked on something, and Cloud frowned in confusion as he tried to puzzle out why.

"Someone you what?" Tidus coughed out, stomach caught at mid-flip.

"Wha—?" Cloud started, but his mouth snapped shut as he realized what he'd said. His mind scrambled through ways to take it back, but it was no use. Tidus had heard it, loud and clear. The 'L' word. Probably not how he wanted to hear it for the first time.

"Sorry. That... That wasn't supposed to slip out," Cloud said, ever so quietly, his gaze meeting the floor.

"And, um, you're not ready?" Tidus asked uncertainly, ducking his head a little to try and make eye contact, but Cloud didn't make it easy.

"I care about you, but..." Cloud trailed off, and closed his eyes.

"It's okay," Tidus said, quickly, not wanting to push things. "You don't have to say it."

Cloud's focus remained on the floor of the tent, and after several failed attempts at trying to find something to say, Tidus stood up. He stretched his arms above his head, and let out a relaxed noise.

"Guess you're done healing me, huh?" he asked, catching Cloud's attention.

"Oh, sorry. Do you want me to continue?"

"No," Tidus smiled, shaking his head. "That's alright. You should rest." Under the circumstances, Cloud wouldn't argue; even that little bit had worn him out.

Tidus headed for the corner of the tent, and collected the Brotherhood blade. He swung it in his hand a few times before tucking it away at his side. He didn't know how to feel. One second, he was annoyed with Cloud, the next, he wanted all the tension to be gone between them. And then there was that word, that word that had rolled off Cloud's tongue, that word that Tidus had been longing for for months. He'd been thrilled to hear it, but it seemed Cloud still wasn't ready for that word, for the feelings that accompanied it. Knowing that caused Tidus' excitement to die just as quickly as it had come, and he tried his hardest, for Cloud's sake, not to show it.

Cloud sat in silence, his eyes closed, and his mind deep in thought. That word played over and over again in his head. It had made it past his lips without his knowledge, and his heart raced at the possibility that he really did feel that way. He and Tidus had shared more kind words, more tender moments, and even more personal conversations than Cloud had ever had with anyone. Even Zack. The world had never given him and Zack the time, nor the opportunity to get to know each other the way he and Tidus had.

Tidus, the young man from the lost city of Zanarkand, star player of the Zanarkand Abes, guardian to the summoner Yuna. Mere months ago, that was all he had been to Cloud, a stranger with a mysterious past, but Tidus had offered Cloud a place where he could be himself—scars and all—and not be judged for it. Tidus had provided him with a constant feeling of safety, and had trusted him even when he didn't deserve that trust. And somewhere along their rocky journey of ups and downs, Cloud had fallen for him. He had. Heart and soul.

Every part of Cloud's being screamed at him in this moment, telling him not to let this opportunity pass him by. Tidus was all Cloud could ever ask for and more. He was the second chance that Cloud never thought he would get, and he would forever regret it if he didn't take it now.

"So, what do you think I should take with me?" Tidus asked. "Probably some materia? Do we have any potions, or—"

"Tidus?"

"No, I guess there are no potions left, huh?"

"Tidus," Cloud said, again, with more force. Tidus turned to look behind him. Cloud was standing up, and was giving him a look that Tidus had never seen before. His expression was serious, but not dire like it usually was. His eyes. They looked like they were ready to say something important.

"What?" Tidus asked, nervously. His brows crinkled up in confusion. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he chuckled.

"I do," Cloud announced, heart pounding.

"You do what?" Tidus asked, cocking his head to the side. "What'cha talking about?"

Cloud leaned his head back and gave a heavy sigh. For so long, he had feared he would never be able to say those words. He'd feared he would never even _feel_ so strongly again, but he knew his heart was ready; those words were true, and it was time Tidus heard them.

"Tidus," he groaned. Tidus raised his brows in surprise as Cloud closed the distance between them. Cloud's hand cupped his face, and pulled him into a kiss quicker than he could blink. Tidus was startled, his eyes remaining open for the entirety of the awkward kiss. When Cloud pulled away, he stared deep into Tidus' eyes, praying he would understand, but Tidus still looked dumbfounded.

"Should I be scared?" Tidus chuckled, nervously, trying to figure out what was causing such brash actions.

"I think... I mean, I _know_ that I— I love you," Cloud breathed.

Tidus' brows turned upward, and his eyes locked with Cloud's. His heart thumped hard as he imagined what it would be like for Cloud to truly feel that way. He hesitated a moment and tried to relax himself enough to breathe steadily.

"You do?" he asked. His voice had come out sounding shaky and uncertain; he hoped Cloud wouldn't judge him for it.

"I do."

The two relaxed. A weight had been lifted for both of them. Tidus' face was overcome with emotion, and Cloud tried to decipher all the feelings that were shining behind those sea-blue eyes—surprise, relief, admiration.

"Last time I said it, I knew you wouldn't be able to say it back. That's why, ever since then, I never..."

"I know," Cloud spoke up. "But things changed a lot recently, and... I think you should know how I feel before you go into battle."

Tidus pushed past the lump of excitement in his throat, and smiled, weakly.

"I love you, too," he whispered. Cloud smiled back as Tidus reached for the back of his neck, and pulled their lips together in a kiss that felt entirely different than the one they'd shared before those sweet words had been exchanged. They _loved_ each other; they were finally on the same path, their sentiments one-hundred percent reciprocal.

"I love you," Cloud repeated, just to make sure Tidus knew how much he meant it, and he felt Tidus smile against his lips. Those words had never sounded so perfect.

Tidus kissed Cloud back a little harder, then parted with an unfaltering grin. Cloud stared at him; he knew those words had meant the world to Tidus. He could see the gleam in his eyes, the excitement in his face. Cloud's lips curled into another small smile.

"You make it awfully hard to want to leave now," Tidus practically pouted, giving Cloud one last playful peck on the bottom lip.

"Just come back in one piece, Tidus," Cloud replied, with a confident nod. Tidus' eyes widened a little in surprise at Cloud's approval regarding the battle ahead. He raised a brow, silently checking with Cloud once more to make sure he understood.

"Go on. Make us proud," Cloud smiled, and Tidus' grin widened even more, heart aflutter as revelled in Cloud's support. He nodded in return, and gave his partner a thankful grin.

"I'll still be here when you get back," Cloud added, with another smile.

"Yeah. I should get ready," Tidus beamed, eagerly turning his attention back to gathering supplies, body filled with a fresh wave of excitement. Cloud gave his shoulder an encouraging pat before silently dismissing himself from the tent.

Firion had returned to sitting by the fire when Cloud emerged. Cloud cleared his throat uncomfortably, praying that Firion had not overheard their conversation, and hoping his cheeks weren't flushed from newly exchanged words and kisses. Firion gave Cloud a courteous nod as Cloud took a seat beside him, but they remained in a momentary silence. Eventually, Cloud resumed eating his meal, but he could tell Firion was dying to ask him something.

"You two have certainly grown close, haven't you?" came the dreaded question. Cloud swallowed hard and tried to remain calm.

"He and I have been travelling together for a long time now. It was bound to happen," Cloud answered.

"Do you remember when you asked me if Tidus was affectionate with everybody? You seemed so nervous with him back then."

"Yeah," Cloud replied, with a light chuckle—a chuckle that would have been out of character for him some months ago, too. "I guess I got used to it after a while."

Cloud could feel Firion watching him, but he somehow managed to keep his eyes on the fire. He was almost positive Firion was wanting to ask more questions. Perhaps he and Tidus had dropped too many hints along the way, or gone off on their own too often, resulting in Firion's suspicions. He was relieved when Tidus exited the tent, ending the conversation between him and Firion, at least for now.

Tidus stood before them, his blue sword at his side and his shirt still discarded somewhere inside the tent. Cloud breathed deeply and tried not to stare. After all, Firion seemed to be taking special notice of how he interacted with Tidus now.

"Alright, I'm going in. Root for me, okay?" Tidus simpered.

"Of course, we will," Firion nodded.

"You can do this, Tidus. Just keep a level head, and you'll be fine," Cloud assured him, giving him the most encouraging smile he could, but his eyes spoke even louder; they shimmered with that endearing word—love.

Tidus obviously appreciated his efforts, as his own smile had increased a little upon receiving the praise. He swayed from foot to foot for a minute, looking slightly embarrassed from the confidence boost.

"I'll be back soon," he finally smiled, before taking off at a run toward the gate, and disappeared through it before anyone could say another word.

Cloud cleared his throat, and took another bite of his supper, trying to rid his mind of the image of Tidus' bruised back as he'd run through the portal. The feeling of dread that filled his stomach, however, wasn't solely caused by Tidus' upcoming fight; Cloud also hoped he would be able to avoid letting anything slip if Firion decided to throw any more questions his way.

* * *

Tidus walked with confident strides as he approached the huge black sword that had caused him so much pain the first time around. He could see his old man standing on the other side of it with his muscled back to him. Jecht didn't even need to turn around to know his son had arrived.

"You showed up, kid. I'm impressed," Jecht smirked. He turned to face his son, who was only a couple of feet away from him. Tidus stood tall, and his eyes met his father's with a fortitude that Jecht had never seen in him before.

"Of course, I showed up," Tidus replied, forcefully. Jecht began to pace a few steps back and forth in front of his son.

"I don't know if that makes you brave or just plain stupid."

"And what about you? You told me to go to Order's Sanctuary to save my friend. You were helping the enemy, so what does that make you? Brave or stupid?" Tidus asked, hoping it would throw the man for a loop. Jecht didn't seem to have a good comeback, so Tidus assumed it worked.

"Your friend. How is he?" Jecht asked, still pacing.

"He's fine," Tidus answered. "I just don't understand. Why did you tell me where he was? Why did you help me get him back?" he frowned, knowing Jecht probably didn't give a damn about Cloud.

Jecht cleared his throat. He'd seen how quickly Cloud had rushed to Tidus' aid after their last battle; he felt he owed the man who had no doubt saved his son's life. But no way was he going to admit he was helping his son out of the goodness of his heart; that just wasn't his style.

"I have my reasons," Jecht grunted, rubbing his shoulder roughly.

"And what about Cecil? You keeping your info about him under wraps, too?"

"Listen, kid. I went outta my way to help you. Now it's _your_ turn to do _me_ a favour," Jecht said, finally turning to face his son. Tidus, being as quick as he was, was able to raise his sword before Jecht's blade fell upon him. They stood there, eyes locked, blades pressed hard against each other.

"I need you to fight me, and this time, _defeat_ me," Jecht instructed.

"Why would you want me to do that? That's not much of a favour. There's got to be a catch," Tidus replied, through gritted teeth.

"I'm not tryin' to trick ya. Thing is, I don't like Chaos' new rules."

"What new rules?" Tidus yelled, pushing Jecht's blade out of the way with his own. Their swords fell to rest at their sides. Jecht was silent as he was enveloped in his thoughts.

_"Damn those Cosmos warriors," Gabranth cursed._

" _Yeah, they stole our puppet before the show even started," Kefka whined, throwing his hands into the air in a dramatic wave._

" _Do you mean Sephiroth's rival?" Ultimecia asked._

" _Yes, Cloud is his name," Gabranth answered. Jecht stood a few feet away from the others, arms folded, leaning on one of the tall pillars that stood in the World of Darkness._

" _Don't fret. It's only one loss," Ultimecia replied._

" _She's right. As long as Jecht pulls through for us when he battles his son, then we can dismiss this one mistake," Garland spoke up. Jecht stood up straight and took a step toward the others._

" _What are you talking about?" he asked._

" _Getting your son to join us, of course," Cloud of Darkness cut in. Everyone fell silent, and Jecht eyed the others critically for a moment._

" _Getting..." Jecht started._

" _Your son," Exdeath repeated, but Jecht simply laughed._

" _I think you've got the wrong kid. My son's nothing like us, doesn't have a speck of evil in him. Think that's why we piss each other off so much."_

" _It's simple, Jecht. End his life. When Cosmos revives him, we will retrieve him, like we did with Golbez's brother. They're easily persuaded when they are first given new life," Garland explained._

" _Hey, that's my kid you're talking about. He may be a pain in the ass, but I'm not interested in killing him," Jecht argued. He felt Cloud of Darkness behind him in an instant, her yellow serpents on either side of him, opening and closing their pointed teeth._

" _I smell a rat," the woman frowned. "Jecht, did you tell anyone from Cosmos of our plan to take that whelp from Order's Sanctuary?"_

" _What? No, o' course not," Jecht lied._

" _You care about your son, don't you?" Golbez asked._

" _He's a pesky runt, but I'm his dad. I'm not supposed to hate him," Jecht replied, gruffly. Cloud of Darkness flew in front of Jecht; her snakes wandered up and hovered on either side of his head. She leaned in close to Jecht's face, so close that he could feel her breath on his battle-marred skin._

" _Until Shinryu is ready and able to revive the warriors we lost, we need all the help we can get. If that means getting your pesky runt of a son on our side, so be it," the woman sneered._

" _If you do this, we will grant you eternal life. Even if you are defeated, Shinryu will bring you back," Ultimecia added._

" _Count me out," Jecht muttered. "I'm not interested in gaining eternal life." He turned to walk away, but Golbez moved into his path, preventing him from going any further._

" _Do it, or we end you_ and _your son," Gabranth spoke up, walking up alongside Jecht and Golbez._

" _If I were you, Jecht, I would fight him before one of us does," Golbez said. Jecht gave a long and tired sigh._

" _Fine. Let's get this done."_

"Dad?" Tidus asked, frowning as he stared at his father, who seemed to be in some sort of stupor. Jecht shook his head and regained focus. His eyes moved to meet his son's.

"Sorry, just thinkin'," he replied. "So, what'll it be? Will ya fight me?"

"I still don't understand." Tidus shook his head a little.

"Maybe you don't have to," Jecht said, voice surprisingly solemn. Gentle, even.

Tidus searched his father for a clearer response, but Jecht wasn't the type to give straight answers. He never had been. Tidus huffed and readied his sword, raising it up in the air, letting his father know he was ready for combat.

"I'll fight you, but you have to do me one more favour, too," Tidus said, bouncing on the spot.

"What is it _now_?"

"Don't hold back!" Tidus shouted, as he charged forward.

"Oh, not a problem!" Jecht grinned, meeting Tidus' blade with a loud clang.

 


	28. Fated

**Chapter 28: Fated**

Jecht crumpled to one knee, his breathing rough and heavy. He rested an arm on his thigh, and stared up at his son. He grunted as he eyed Tidus, standing so stiffly from afar, as if waiting for Jecht to strike once more, but Jecht was done. The fight was over.

"Boy, that stings," he sighed, his face falling toward the stony ground. Tidus' heart leapt when he realized his father was no longer a threat.

"Dad!" Tidus ran forward on an aching knee, and analyzed Jecht's strong form. He couldn't see much more than a few scratches, which could only mean most of the damage was internal. Tidus swallowed, and swore to himself he wouldn't feel guilty; Jecht had never gone easy on him, either.

"Oh, come on... You're fading already?" Tidus' voice was weak as he watched the all too familiar purple smoke swirl around his father's body. Had Jecht not been in so much pain, he probably would have scolded his son for showing his enemy mercy.

"Looks like it," he replied, instead.

Tidus felt his hands curl into fists. How was it that the man who had always been too stubborn to die, the man who was stronger than anyone Tidus had ever known... How was it he was okay with dying here and now, by his son's blade, at that? Did he really disagree with Chaos' methods that much? Was he giving up?

"I hate you," Tidus whispered.

He'd hardly even had to think the words, and there they had come, right out of his mouth. He despised his father; that had never changed. He hated him for the way he had mistreated his family, for the way he had made such a mess in Spira and left it for him to clean up, but right now, Tidus hated him most for his weakness.

"I hated you so much. I've always wished you'd be gone," Tidus went on, his voice growing surprisingly stronger with each sentence.

Jecht kept his face toward the ground. He closed his eyes and took in every bit of what his son had to say. He knew he should be hurt by those words, but he'd known for a while now just how deeply Tidus' hatred ran for him, and truth be told, Jecht knew he deserved each of his son's harsh words. He'd made his mistakes, and he was prepared for the consequences.

Tidus swallowed hard as memories of his childhood rushed through his head: glimpses of his constant attempts to get his parents' attention, and the times he told his mother just how much he loathed his father. But one memory stood out amongst the rest, and Tidus felt himself getting lost in it.

_Five hours. That's how long he had been practicing that afternoon, and that was a long time for a child as young as Tidus. Not many seven-year-olds would stick to one task for such an extended period of time, but Tidus was determined to master the Blitzball trick before Jecht got home from his game._

_Tidus stood on the deck outside his house, bouncing his favourite Blitzball off his knee._ Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four _, Tidus silently counted. Halfway there._

" _What do you think you're doing?" came Jecht's gravelly voice from behind. Tidus jumped, and the Blitzball tumbled haphazardly to the ground. Tidus closed his fists, and took in a deep breath before turning to face his father._

" _I was practicing. A little while ago, I got to 48 bounces before dropping it," Tidus proudly announced. He could see the tension appear in Jecht's face. Even at that age, Tidus recognized that Jecht was easily threatened by anyone who could possibly best him._

" _My record's fifty, you know?" Jecht said, managing a cocky smirk._

" _I know, but I'm pretty close. Wanna see?" Tidus asked, his cheery face full of enthusiasm. Jecht rubbed the back of his neck._

" _Maybe some other time," he laughed, as he headed for the house._

Tidus shrugged off the memory, and spoke on.

"But deep down... what I really wanted was just... your approval. For you to tell me that I've grown strong," he said, voice breaking. He didn't know how he'd managed to get the words out, words that he'd been wanting to say for years and had never had the courage to do so. Now that he had come this far, he couldn't hold back.

Tidus waited for Jecht's response, but he wasn't quite sure what he was hoping for. An apology? Some sign that Jecht regretted the way he'd always belittled him? Anything to let him know that he cared, but Jecht only let out a bitter chuckle.

"Looks like the kid will never grow up."

"That's not my fault." Tidus could feel emotions building up inside him, a deep sadness tugging at the corners of his lips. He wished Jecht would just look up at him, but his eyes remained downcast. "I can't help it. I'm your son, after all."

Jecht chuckled again, and after a few seconds, he raised his head. His red eyes met Tidus' with what could almost be described as a kindness. He might have even been proud.

"I guess you are," he sighed. Tidus watched the purple smoke grow denser as Jecht got to his feet. Jecht's time was growing short. His body was fading, growing more transparent by the second.

"Hey, cry-baby," Jecht spoke up, catching Tidus' eye. "You've grown strong."

Tidus' mouth fell open in astonishment. He wanted to say something—a thank you, perhaps—but with one last smirk, Jecht faded, vanishing for good this time. Tidus stood in shock as the last of the smoke dissipated. He hardly had any time to recover before a white light sparkled in the air, catching his attention. Tidus looked up, and his heart raced as the light took form. He managed a weak smile. He'd found his crystal.

* * *

A bright glow burst through the nearby gateway, and Cloud and Firion looked up toward the radiating light. Firion stood up and drew his sword, ready for any intruder that dared to come forth, but when the glowing stopped, Tidus walked out from under the archway.

"Tidus, you're alright!" Cloud said, visibly relieved as he immediately stood to greet him. Firion smiled and eagerly put his sword away.

"Yep. I'm alright," Tidus grinned.

The joy of his companions faded a little as Tidus limped toward them, favouring his left leg. Firion helped him sit by the fire next to Cloud, and Tidus lay his injured leg out in front of him in the grass while keeping the other one bent up against his chest.

"What happened?" Firion asked, kneeling at Tidus' side and applying a healing materia to his knee without having to be asked. Tidus rested a hand gingerly on the side of his knee, keeping it steady while Firion did his work.

"Haha, I fell," Tidus laughed.

"You fell?" Cloud repeated, his eyebrows rising a little.

"Well, my old man tripped me. Kinda twisted my knee, but I'm okay," Tidus explained, still smiling. He met Cloud's gaze with confidence, and was able to put Cloud's mind at ease with that glance alone. Cloud gave Tidus a gentle smile in return.

"You seem awfully chipper for someone who just got hurt," Firion spoke up, glancing up at his friend.

"Yeah, well, guess what? After the battle, I got this," Tidus said. He dug in his pocket for a minute, before retrieving a shining blue sphere. It caught his companions' attention as it shimmered in Tidus' palms, resting upon its large, silver base.

"Is that your crystal?" Cloud asked, leaning forward with piqued interest.

"Yeah," Tidus grinned, proudly holding it a little closer so Cloud could get a better look.

"Congratulations, Tidus," Firion grinned.

"Yes, congratulations. I'm happy for you," Cloud said, with an honest smile.

"Thanks," Tidus beamed.

He stared down at the crystal that lay in his hands, and let out a contented sigh. It had been a long journey to find it, but he'd earned it. Tidus smiled, and tucked the precious item away in his pocket for safe keeping.

"Firion! Firion!" a voice called out from the trees to the left. Firion and Tidus—despite his injury—stood immediately, instinctively moving in front of their weakened companion to protect him. Under the circumstances, Cloud didn't mind. He didn't feel well enough to fake his strength anyway.

The party relaxed when Onion Knight came into sight, the feathers on his helmet bouncing wildly as he ran toward them. He doubled over as he reached the group, and rested his hands on his knees, breathing hard for a moment before he stood to face his friends again.

"We've got trouble. It's Terra. She's hurt," the boy huffed. Firion rushed forward and placed a hand on Onion Knight's shoulder.

"Do you need me to heal her?" Firion asked, frowning.

"Yeah, only she's pretty far away. Can you come with me?" Onion Knight practically begged, staring up at Firion with wide eyes. Firion glanced back at his other two friends.

"Tidus, Cloud, will you two be alright?" he asked.

"We'll be fine," Cloud nodded.

"Yeah, you should go. Terra needs help," Tidus agreed.

"Hang on to this, just in case. I've got more in my bag," Firion said, tossing the healing materia he was holding. Cloud caught it with ease, and nodded as Tidus sat down beside him again.

"Alright. Take me to her," Firion said, gently, gathering his supplies bags off the ground.

Onion Knight gave a wave, motioning for Firion to follow, and he did so without hesitation. Tidus and Cloud sat in silence, waiting patiently until Firion and Onion Knight were out of earshot. After that, Cloud turned to Tidus, apprehension evident in every facial feature.

"Are you okay? You don't have any other injuries, do you?"

"Nope, just the one," Tidus chuckled, but the tender look in his eyes let Cloud know he appreciated his concern. Cloud returned the glance with a small smile.

"Do you want me to heal you for a bit?"

"Nah, I'll be fine."

Cloud still looked uneasy, but Tidus' grin assured him that he didn't need a medic at the moment. Cloud carefully tucked the materia into his pocket, and sat in silence for several long seconds. Tidus wondered why Cloud had gone so quiet, but his worries were quickly put to rest. Cloud glanced around to make sure they weren't being watched, and the next thing Tidus knew, Cloud's hand was travelling through the grass beside him. He laced his gloved fingers with Tidus' own. Their eyes met and Cloud gave a soft smile.

"I'm proud of you," he said, gently.

"Really?" Tidus rubbed the back of his head. "Thanks. I mean, I know you had a hard time trusting me to go off on my own, but—"

"A hard time trusting you?" Cloud frowned. "No, I didn't want you to go because I was _worried_ about you, not because I didn't trust you. I know you're a strong fighter. You... know I trust you, don't you?" Cloud asked, concern gleaming in his eyes again.

Tidus rubbed the back of his head for the second time and stared at the ground, his heart skipping a little at those words.

"Um, no. You never really said that before," Tidus timidly replied.

"Oh." Cloud looked away in shame. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay. I'm... glad you said it _now_ ," Tidus smiled.

Cloud's gaze was pointed downward. His lip was clutched tightly between his teeth, and Tidus couldn't tell if he was still ashamed or nervous. Wanting to settle Cloud's mind either way, he placed a hand on Cloud's face and gently guided it back toward him. Their eyes met once more and Cloud felt a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He couldn't fight it, not when Tidus was looking at him like that.

"Uh, do you wanna go inside the tent?" Tidus asked. "It is getting pretty late, and, um..."

"Yeah," Cloud smiled. "I'd like that."

Tidus gave him a grin before hopping up, though he regretted it a little when he felt pain in his knee. He ignored the discomfort, and splashed some water over the fire to extinguish it. When Cloud noticed Tidus favouring his leg again, he got up as quickly as he could and offered him an arm. They linked elbows and Tidus grinned so widely, Cloud thought it might have been the happiest moment of the guy's life.

"We're quite the pair, aren't we?" Tidus laughed, as they unsteadily made their way toward the tent.

"What do you mean? You with your knee, and me with my shaking legs?" Cloud asked.

"That's what I mean," Tidus replied, in a sing-song voice.

"We _are_ kind of a wreck, aren't we?" Cloud smirked.

"Yep," Tidus chuckled.

Tidus unzipped the tent when they reached it, and they practically tumbled inside. Cloud chuckled lightly as he lay there on the floor of the tent, and Tidus turned to close the door flap before the mosquitoes found their way inside. When he turned back around, he pressed a slow kiss to Cloud's lips as he lay there below him. They parted, and Cloud stared up at him with half-lidded eyes.

"You couldn't even wait 'till we made it to our sleeping bags?" he asked, his lips curled up in slight amusement.

"I'm sorry," Tidus said, meeting his lips again. "That battle was just kinda rough, and it's really nice just... just to come back to you. I kinda hate being away from you."

Tidus sat back and allowed Cloud the space he needed to scoot backward onto his sleeping bag. Tidus followed him and gently lowered himself back down, but not before ridding himself of his gloves. He held Cloud's hand in his own, and tenderly tugged on the leather of Cloud's fingerless glove until his hand came free of it. Tidus kissed the back of Cloud's newly exposed hand before proceeding to the next one, and freeing it from its gauntlet.

Cloud snaked an arm around Tidus' neck, while his other hand linked with Tidus', their fingers falling easily into place between one anothers'. Tidus let his free hand trail down Cloud's shirt-covered torso while pressing a few more gentle kisses to his partner's welcoming lips.

After a minute or so, Tidus felt Cloud's hand slip down his back and onto his naked waist, caressing him at first, then gently urging him to move. Tidus obeyed, and soon felt himself being tugged to the side. Before he knew it, Cloud had swapped their positions. He stared up into Cloud's glowing blue eyes and smiled softly as Cloud took over and pressed his lips against Tidus' own.

"I hate being away from you, too," Cloud whispered.

Those words, those actions, the fact that Cloud trusted him enough to do this—all of them made Tidus just want to let go and drown in the warmth that could only be brought on by Cloud. He raised his head to meet Cloud's rosy lips again. Tidus could feel Cloud's hand easing its way under his back, tenderly stroking his still bruised skin. Tidus reached for Cloud's shirt, and swiftly removed it from his body—their hands unlacing just long enough to do so—before tossing it aside.

Cloud's heart pounded. Never had he been in such control in a situation like this. With Zack, he had always been the one waiting for these things to happen, waiting for Zack to make the first move. With Tidus, however, it didn't seem to matter who was on top; things always seemed to run smoothly on their own. There was always a constant heat that burned inside them, a fire that yearned for each other, yet there was respect as well. Whenever things took a turn, whenever they switched positions or tried something new, that respect remained. There was no fear, no dominance. They were equals, and although it was new to Cloud, he already knew he loved it.

He loved the way Tidus could kiss him and take his breath away, yet leave him with such a strong desire for more that he became willing to seize it. He liked the hold Tidus had on him, this new, exciting hold that Cloud didn't quite understand. He was beginning to realize that Tidus had his hooks buried deep within him, and even if he'd wanted to, Cloud probably wouldn't have been able to wriggle free. Thankfully, Cloud didn't even want to think about letting go. In fact, he wanted to hold on to Tidus as tightly as he could.

This was the first time in years that Cloud hadn't felt lost, stuck in a world that no longer held anything of value for him. Maybe it was crazy to be thinking that way, but Cloud was beginning to believe that Tidus had put meaning back in his life, had given him back that little spark of hope that had been missing for so long. Tidus had given him the will to keep going.

Cloud's thoughts became jumbled when he felt Tidus' hand on the back of his neck. Tanned fingers danced over Cloud's skin, and Cloud let out an appreciative sigh as that hand ran over the side of his neck and slid down his chest. Tidus smiled; he liked the feel of Cloud's muscles and tendons flexing and twitching under his fingertips. He liked discovering each new little prominence, every little lump and line. It reminded him that this was, in fact, real. Cloud was here with him, body and soul.

Cloud unlinked their hands, and instead cupped Tidus' face, meeting him in yet another gentle kiss. Tidus smiled against Cloud's lips, one arm still curled affectionately around Cloud's neck, keeping him close. Cloud felt Tidus' other hand slink down his abdomen. It lingered there a moment before it travelled up his side and nestled in the small of his back. Cloud moved his lips to Tidus' jaw, and trailed kisses up to his ear before making his way down to his neck. His ears picked up on a quiet noise that Tidus made, one that was somewhere between a moan and a soft chuckle. The hand that was on Tidus' face wandered to his neck, then down his side.

"I love you," Cloud whispered.

"I have to tell you, Cloud," Tidus spoke up, pressing another kiss to Cloud's mouth, a little off-centre this time. "I'll never get tired of hearing you say that."

* * *

Neither Tidus nor Cloud knew how much time had passed. They had gotten lost in the excitement somewhere between minutes and hours. Once they were satisfied with their indulgence of kisses, they lay down on their sides, facing each other, legs entangled. Tidus' arm rested loosely around Cloud's waist, while his other hand lay entwined with Cloud's, their fingers entwined once again with one another's. Their eyes were locked, their smiles relaxed. Tidus probably could have fallen asleep had Cloud not been so damn beautiful. He just couldn't bear to close his eyes, at least not yet. Their night together had been too amazing.

"Tidus?" Cloud spoke up. He was a little afraid to break the peaceful silence, but he couldn't help but wonder about the events of the afternoon.

"Mm-hmm?"

"About earlier, are you sure you're okay? You haven't said much about the fight with your father." Apparently, Cloud had been right to worry. He could feel Tidus' body stiffening as tension filled him, a tension that Cloud had come to expect from him whenever Jecht was mentioned.

"I don't know if I want to talk about that," Tidus said, softly, lowering his gaze.

"Y-you don't have to, I just... wondered what happened, is all," Cloud replied, feeling more uncertain than ever for bringing it up.

He slung an arm over Tidus' waist, wanting to offer at least a little comfort. Tidus followed his inclination to nestle his head under Cloud's chin. Eventually, Cloud heard him give a soft sigh.

"We fought, and he faded."

"You mean—"

"Yeah, I killed him," Tidus said, quickly. Cloud was hesitant to speak after that. Luckily, he didn't have to as Tidus spoke on.

"The weird thing is, he asked me to do it. He talked like he was sick of fighting for Chaos. But he helped us a couple of times lately, and now, the thought of having killed him when he might still have had some good in him..." Tidus trailed off.

Cloud's thumb began to travel back and forth across Tidus' back; Cloud hoped the small action might comfort him if words didn't. Tidus closed his eyes.

"Are you thinking you might have done the wrong thing?" Cloud asked. "Jecht was a warrior of Chaos, no matter how you look at it. You were determined all along to fight him, and you got your crystal out of it in the end. When you look at it that way, it seems like you must have chosen the right path."

"I know. I know I did the right thing. It helped me put a lot of things to rest, and I guess I might have done what was best for him, too. He wanted a way out, and I gave it to him," Tidus tried to explain, though his thoughts were coming as fast as he could put them into words.

"It's okay to be sad," Cloud spoke up. Tidus pulled his head back, and met Cloud's eyes again with surprise. He was shocked that Cloud understood him so well.

"How did you know?" he asked. Cloud simply shrugged. Tidus released a sigh.

"I guess I'm just kind of confused about why I _am_ sad. He was always a jerk, but..."

"He was still your dad," Cloud finished. Tidus closed his eyes, and nodded, a soft smile reaching his lips as he thought back to Jecht's dying words.

"I guess he was," Tidus replied, before getting lost in his thoughts again. More like glimpses of thoughts. There seemed to be a million images swirling around in his head, but his brain was speeding through them too fast to settle on any in particular.

"What are you thinking about?" Cloud tried, when the silence became too stressful.

"I dunno," Tidus sighed. "It's strange. It's like, ever since I came here, almost everything I did was leading up to that one battle. And now that it's over, I feel kind of lost, you know?" Tidus asked.

"That's understandable. That battle was the one thing standing in the way of your future. Kind of hard to look beyond it when you know you have to fight it first," Cloud replied.

Tidus tried to hide a smile as he tucked his head under Cloud's chin once more. He loved it when Cloud talked like that; he always sounded so wise. Maybe it was the cold world that had made him grow up too fast, that had made him learn those sorts of things early on in life, but Tidus admired it. He hoped he could become equally as wise some day.

"Yeah," Tidus finally replied, then he paused, and Cloud was almost positive he knew where Tidus' mind was about to wander.

"Do you think about the future much, Cloud?"

"Now and then, I suppose. I try not to focus on it."

"What do you see in your future?" Tidus bravely asked.

"Hmm... I'll probably sleep."

"Sleep?!" Tidus crinkled his nose up in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"And I'll probably eat in the future, too. I don't want to go hungry," Cloud replied, simply. Tidus yanked his head away again to stare at him, this time with wide eyes. Cloud tried his best to keep a straight face.

"Did you just make a joke?!" Tidus practically shouted. Cloud nodded.

"Wow! Oh, man, I must be rubbing off on you!" Tidus groaned. Cloud let out a chuckle, and Tidus finally broke into laughter, giving Cloud a playful nudge in the shoulder before wrapping his arm around his waist.

"No, come on. You gotta give me more than that! What do you _really_ think the future will be like?" Tidus tried again.

"What do you want to know?" Cloud asked.

The future was a dangerous part of Cloud's subconscious; he never liked to let his mind linger there, because when it did, it always came up with scenarios of futures that Cloud would never have. A future with Zack. A future where he moved back to his hometown. A happy future.

Tidus lowered his eyes, shyly. He hesitated, swallowing a couple of times before deciding he couldn't hold back such an important question. He needed to know.

"I mean, am I a part of it?" Tidus asked, carefully.

Cloud looked into Tidus' eyes, and saw the hopeful look within them, but was saddened by how nervous Tidus obviously was about the question. Cloud found himself thinking back to his battle with Chaos, to when he had so foolishly run in on his own. For some reason, he was reminded of the thoughts that had gone through his head at that moment. He had been fighting for a future, a future that, for once, he might actually be able to make come true. He had been fighting for his chance for a life with Tidus, and Tidus needed to know that that was what he wanted.

Hoping to ease his mind, Cloud pressed a kiss to the tip of Tidus' nose and smiled softly.

"I sure hope you are," he said, his eyes locking with Tidus' once more. Tidus released a small smile, and he relaxed as Cloud met his lips in a tender caress. Tidus let out a contended sigh, and tucked his head beneath Cloud's once more.

"We are such saps," Tidus smirked. He felt Cloud's laugh rumble against his throat as his head rested there.

"I won't argue with that," Cloud smiled.

"Seriously, though... What do you think's gonna happen after we fight this war for Cosmos? Are we gonna get sent to different worlds?" Tidus asked. Cloud frowned, not liking the sound of that one bit.

"I don't know. I hope not."

The possibility that he would be separated from Tidus after finishing their mission here was something that had flickered in and out his mind before, but had never really stuck around. Now that it was settling there, he felt sick. He couldn't lose Tidus. Not now, not after everything.

"We should go to your world. I've got a lot less to lose," Tidus said, increasing Cloud's anxiety more by the second. Cloud pulled away to see Tidus' face once again.

"How can you say that?" he asked, frowning.

"Well, you know. The Zanarkand I came from is long gone. And, yeah, Spira was home for a while, but it was never really _home_ ," Tidus explained. Cloud expected his expression to be sad, but it wasn't. It was neutral, matter-of-fact. Cloud couldn't think of any way to respond, except with an apology.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Tidus."

"Ah, it's no big deal," Tidus smiled. "I came to terms with it a long time ago."

"I don't know how you can do that," Cloud said, closing his eyes, causing Tidus to frown. Cloud's voice was so low, so honest, yet it contained ounces of admiration.

"Do what?"

"How you can lose your home, your family, and keep smiling."

"Oh, that," Tidus said, thinking for a minute. "You just gotta practice."

"Practice what?" Cloud asked, tilting his head to the side, curiously.

"Practice smiling, silly," Tidus grinned. "C'mon, try it." Tidus pointed to the corners of his own mouth, pushing his lips a little further upward than they could go on their own. Cloud put on a half-smile, that was mostly caused by Tidus' foolishness.

"Do I have to start tickling you? I know you can do better than that," Tidus sighed.

"Sorry. I'm just worried," Cloud said, shaking his head and lowering his gaze away from Tidus'.

"About what?" Tidus frowned again, and propped himself up on his elbow so he could get a better look at Cloud's features.

"About how you would feel if you were to leave Spira for good. You make it sound easy, but there would have to be things you'd miss." Cloud's expression was soft, even a little sad. Tidus looked up at the tent ceiling, thinking hard.

"Well, yeah, I guess. Like, Blitzball."

"And your friends," Cloud reminded him.

"Yeah, definitely them, too," Tidus sighed, thinking of those irreplaceable friendships he had made on his journey two years ago.

He could never forget his old pals. Rikku, Wakka, Lulu, Kimahri... He stopped himself before his reminiscing became painful. Cloud's half-smile faltered a little as he eyed Tidus' fading grin, and Tidus noticed immediately.

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't leave them behind for you," Tidus assured him.

"I would never ask you to do that," Cloud replied, with a shake of his head. Yes, of course, he wanted Tidus with him, but he couldn't ask Tidus to give up everything else he loved just for the sake of them being together. He couldn't be that selfish.

"You don't have to," Tidus said, lowering his head enough to catch Cloud's eye, and then flashing a smile. "If you want me with you, I'm already there."

Cloud released a trace of a smile, but couldn't manage anything more. He let out a sigh and rolled onto his back, staring at the tent above him. Tidus' arm remained around his waist, and Tidus scooted in a little closer, still propped up on his elbow, watching carefully.

"What is it?" Tidus asked.

"It feels like we've just begun," Cloud whispered, then he turned his head toward Tidus. "But what if the end is not that far off? There's no guarantee that we'll end up together after this war is won. That's _if_ we can even figure out how to end this cycle."

"We'll be together," Tidus assured him, not even daring to let himself believe in any other scenario. "Maybe Cosmos can send us back to the same world."

"What if she doesn't have that kind of power?" Cloud asked. Tidus' lips curled downward when he saw how much sadness and fear was in Cloud's trembling eyes, but he managed to muster another grin.

"Cloud, she can bring people back from the dead. I'm pretty sure she can handle something as simple as a location change."

"Tidus—" Cloud started, but he was immediately shushed before another kiss was pressed to his lips. He relaxed as Tidus' lips wrapped around his own, his arms tight around his waist, protecting him from dark thoughts.

"Don't worry about it right now. Let's not ruin such a perfect night, okay?" Tidus smiled, trailing a hand through a strand of Cloud's hair that framed his face.

Cloud's heart fluttered, and he managed to let a smile—a real smile—escape his lips. He was overwhelmed by the respect he felt for the young man beside him, and if the world wanted to tear them apart, well, it had better be prepared for one hell of a fight.

"I love you," Cloud whispered, wanting to make sure those words stuck in Tidus' memory, no matter what the future had in store for them. If there was one thing Cloud wanted Tidus to take away from this journey, it was the knowledge that they had both gained something strong and beautiful from their being together.

"See? That right there? That's what made this night perfect," Tidus grinned, as he leaned in for another sweet kiss.

* * *

"Tidus! Tidus, you in there?"

Tidus rolled over onto his back and blinked through heavy lids. He immediately sat up when he heard the voice repeat itself. He stared at the side of the tent, hoping he would be able to make out a silhouette, but he couldn't.

"Zidane? Is that you?" he asked, cautiously. He jumped when the tent door was violently zipped open, and Zidane popped his head inside.

"Of course, it's me, dummy," Zidane replied, monotonously.

"Nice to see you, too, Zidane," Tidus sighed, as he brushed a hand through his bed-hair. He frowned when he saw the way his friend was looking at him.

"Had a nice night, did ya?" Zidane smirked, his nose giving a quick twitch.

Tidus' head shot to the side, cheeks deepening in color when he realized a half-naked Cloud was still lying on his stomach beside him. His head was flopped to the side toward Tidus, and his mouth was parted slightly as he took in sleep-heavy breaths.

"It's not what you think," Tidus muttered.

"Suuuure," Zidane said, rolling his eyes.

"Anyway, what's up?" Tidus asked, reaching for his shirt and tugging it on. He could tell even out of the corner of his eye that Zidane was having a hard time keeping the smirk off his face. He tried his best to ignore him.

"Well, it's Cosmos."

"What about her?"

"Apparently, she thinks Chaos is about to stir up trouble, and she wants us back at Order's Sanctuary with our crystals ASAP," Zidane explained.

"With our crystals? I only got mine yesterday, and Cloud doesn't have his yet. Why does she need us there, anyway? Is this...?" Tidus jumped again when Bartz ducked his head inside the tent.

"The final battle? It very well could be," Bartz said. Tidus watched as Bartz caught sight of Cloud's sleeping form, and his friendly smile soon turned into an amused one. Tidus leaned his head back and heaved a sigh.

"Nothing happened, alright?" he whined, but he was unable to keep a smile off his own lips at the mere possibility that something _could_ have happened last night. He saw Bartz and Zidane exchange smirks—silently praising each other for a job well done at getting those blond-headed goofballs together—but Bartz was the first to get himself under control again.

"Firion told us we might find you here. He's on his way to the Sanctuary along with Onion Knight and Terra," he explained.

"So, Terra's alright? And they all have their crystals?" Tidus asked.

"Yep, every one of 'em," Bartz nodded.

"Lightning and the others are headed there, too," Zidane added. Tidus gave a yawn, then stood up and started to collect his few scattered belongings from around the tent.

"Is there anyone else travelling with you?" Tidus asked. He knelt down and tucked his items safely away again inside his knapsack.

"Nope. Just us," Bartz replied. "Thought you and Cloud might like to join us."

"Unless you have other plans," Zidane said, a smirk, with a hint of evil in it this time, creeping onto his face. Tidus whipped his head around to glare at Zidane, then he released a sigh.

"Cloud and I would _love_ to accompany you," Tidus said, turning to Bartz, and flashing an irritated smile as he pretended to ignore Zidane.

"Great," Bartz grinned.

"We just need a few minutes to get packed up," Tidus said, glancing around at the remaining items in the tent—two rumpled sleeping bags, their swords, and some items of clothing that were still lying around from the night before.

"Sure. Take your time," Bartz said, tugging Zidane out the tent door behind him when the boy tried to insist on watching the rest of the show.

Tidus didn't move until he heard Bartz zip the tent back up, then he knelt at Cloud's side. He gazed down upon Cloud's peaceful-looking, sleeping face. He hated to wake him, especially when it looked like Cloud was having good dreams for once, but it had to be done.

"Cloud," he whispered, his hand gently brushing through Cloud's hair, over his ear. "Time to wake up." Cloud frowned a little in his sleep, but he woke as Tidus ruffled his unruly spikes. His eyes opened and came to rest on his partner.

"Good morning," Cloud smiled, sleepily, his eyes falling back closed for a moment.

"Zidane and Bartz are here," Tidus said, wanting to give Cloud the heads-up before he did or said anything he would regret doing in their company.

"Why? What's going on?" Cloud asked, his eyes snapping open once more.

"Cosmos wants us back at Order's Sanctuary."

"Why is that?"

"I don't think anyone knows for sure, but Bartz is getting the feeling that... this could be it," Tidus said, softly.

"The final battle?" Cloud asked, frowning slightly. Tidus nodded. Cloud swallowed hard, and broke eye contact.

"But it'll be alright," Tidus spoke up again. "We probably won't be heading into battle right away."

"I know, but, there's still room for worry. There are still a lot of things that aren't settled yet." Cloud bit his lip, nervously, as he pushed himself to sit up.

"Hey, it'll all work out," Tidus promised him, cocking his head to the side and giving him a sincere smile. Cloud forced a small smile for Tidus' sake, but the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach was making it hard for him to feel at ease.

"C'mon," Tidus smiled, standing and offering Cloud a hand. "We'd better get moving."

Cloud allowed Tidus to pull him to his feet, and they began to gear up for their continuing journey. Once they were fully and properly dressed again, Cloud knelt to roll up their sleeping bags, and Tidus couldn't help but smile as he thought back to when Cloud had taught him that the first time. He watched very carefully, analyzing the way Cloud folded the bedroll lengthwise before rolling it into its cylindrical shape. Cloud finished with Tidus' sleeping bag and Cloud gently rolled it toward him; Tidus stopped it with his foot and smiled.

"You still don't know how to do this, do you?" Cloud smirked, as he noticed the way Tidus was so carefully watching him. Tidus shrugged, innocently.

"Guess some things never change," Cloud sighed.

"But you sure have," Tidus spoke up.

Cloud stared up at his partner. He looked uncertain, like he wasn't sure whether or not Tidus' comment had been a positive one, but he didn't have to wonder for long. Tidus smiled, and bent over just enough to place a kiss on Cloud's mussed up spikes.

"Happier. Stronger. More open," Tidus paused to pat Cloud's shoulder. "I like you this way," Tidus assured him. Cloud didn't bother to question Tidus' little show of affection, and simply watched as Tidus moved away to load himself up with his gear. After a minute, he turned back and flashed a smile.

"You ready?" Tidus grinned, stepping outside the tent. Cloud let a soft smile escape.

Tidus' cheery voice and smiling eyes had finally worn him down; he couldn't suppress that feeling of relief that filled him. Maybe they wouldn't have forever, but in that moment, Cloud swore to himself he wouldn't worry about it until the time came. He took in a deep breath, and focused on ridding himself of the butterflies in his stomach.

Tidus would do whatever he had to in order to keep them together. He would fight for them, if that's what it took; Cloud knew that. And with his support, Cloud's battle-scarred body and tired mind could gather the strength needed to fight for them, too. After all, it was a cause worth fighting for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oooh, so much uncertainty about their future and the battle ahead, huh? I apologize for all the sappiness in this chapter. I've always been a sucker for sappy things, as I'm sure I've said before, and there's something about them opening up to one another that I find absolutely heartwarming. Or heart-wrenching. Sometimes both.
> 
> Also, hope you enjoyed the fact that the boys had some alone time. With the final battle ahead, things are sure to become even more heated, yeah? Hee hee. I'm sure no one will complain about that? It's been a long road for these two, after all. But I'm not revealing any more than that!
> 
> Sadly, I've been running low on motivation lately, which is the reason for much slower updates. I've been playing some Crisis Core lately, which has gotten me into a little Zack/Cloud phase, which is not a bad thing by any means, but it does get my brain away from the Tidus/Cloud goodness. And as a result, I have returned to writing a story I started quite a while back which involves Cloud, Zack, and Tidus. I've written a couple of scenes so far, but I think pretty much the whole thing is planned out. It should be pretty cool, and it's interesting trying to weave all three of their stories together. Anyway, that won't be done for a while, but it's something you can probably look forward to seeing from me in the future.
> 
> Lastly, if you've been enjoying this story, and you've got a minute, send me a comment. I love to hear from you all, and your support makes my day! It makes all this hard work all the more rewarding. As always, thanks for reading, and don't forget to tune in for the next chapter :D


	29. Fearful

**Chapter 29: Fearful**

Bartz led the way through the forest, his three companions tagging along behind him as he pressed forward. The day had turned out to be a sunny one, which made it pleasant for travelling, but even with the weather on their sides and soft grass underfoot, not all of the warriors remained in good spirits. Bartz wasn't surprised when he heard a complaint, although he'd half-expected Zidane would be the first to become restless.

"How much farther to the Sanctuary?" Tidus whined from the back of the line. His hands were resting behind his head and he let out a long yawn.

"Zidane and I passed a gate not that long ago," Bartz called back to him. "I'm suspicious that it might be the gate we're looking for."

"Not that long ago? We've been walking for hours," Tidus sighed.

Zidane jogged a few steps to catch up with Bartz who was leading the way, then he turned around and walked backwards so he could talk to Tidus face-on.

"It can't be that much farther. Keep your pants on, will ya?" Zidane called out, snickering as he turned back around to walk with Bartz. "Bet he and Cloud haven't been doing much of _that_ lately." Bartz bit his tongue to stifle a chuckle, then he nudged Zidane in the side with his elbow.

"You're a brat. Keep it down, or they'll hear you," Bartz said, with a silly grin.

Cloud, who was only a few feet behind them, _had_ in fact heard the comment, and he cleared his throat to distract himself from it. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about it, but somehow, his mind had been wandering in that direction lately anyway. The night before had been wonderful, with he and Tidus kissing each other 'til they were breathless, and holding each other like there was no one else out there. They were taking their time, pacing themselves, and Cloud believed that was a good thing—a _healthy_ thing—but still, he couldn't help but think about what might happen if this really was the final battle they were about to face. If their time together really was growing short, then would Tidus once again ask something of him? And this time, would he let Tidus have it?

It wasn't like Cloud was the needy type. Honestly, Cloud would have been content to wait a while before they made any more big steps, but ever since the night when Tidus had first fought Jecht, he had known Tidus was ready. Cloud wanted to be ready, too. He wanted to desire Tidus the way Tidus desired him, and until he felt his feelings were as strong as Tidus' were, he wanted to keep their physicality to a minimum. But being here on the road, heading toward the Sanctuary, made Cloud worry. What if he didn't feel ready before the battle? Would he be leaving Tidus disappointed?

Cloud shook his head and forced the thoughts out of his mind. He'd promised himself he wouldn't worry about the future until they knew for sure what was going to happen. For now, he had to let fate lead the way.

Bartz halted in his steps, and Cloud broke out of his thoughts just in time to avoid crashing into him. Zidane stopped walking when Bartz did, and he glanced up at his companion with a worried frown.

"What is it, Bartz?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Bartz stared at the ground for a minute, then brought his eyes up and scanned the trees.

"I think it might be this way. You guys wait here. I'll go check it out," Bartz replied, as he sprinted off and disappeared into the forest.

"Wait! I'm going with you!" Zidane called out as he ran after him.

Cloud turned to look behind him when he heard Tidus release another loud sigh. He smiled when he saw Tidus' bored look. It was kind of funny the way Tidus was so energetic, and how it annoyed him when he was stuck with one activity for too long; the way he could become so agitated when he was forced to wait around, but how he could show so much patience when he and Cloud were alone together. Sometimes Cloud wondered how he wasn't going crazy from the waiting. Tidus really was extraordinary. He was certainly unique—even an acquired taste to some, just as Tidus had previously joked about—but extraordinary; Cloud could see that so plainly now.

"What'cha smiling about?" Tidus asked, his brows rising slightly as Cloud's contagious grin made its way to his own face.

"Nothing," Cloud said, with a shake of his head.

"What? What did I do?" Tidus wrinkled his nose and took a few steps toward his partner.

"Nothing. You're just... being you," Cloud smiled, softly.

"And you looove me!" Tidus grinned, giving Cloud a playful punch in the shoulder.

"I do, but don't let it go to your head," Cloud teased, releasing a light chuckle.

Tidus smiled even wider, and he hoped his heart wouldn't explode from seeing Cloud so happy. It was a strange sight to see Cloud smiling like he was now. To hear Cloud openly admitting his feelings for him was somewhat foreign to Tidus' ears, but he loved it. His pulse raced when he thought back to the Cloud that he had fallen for a few months prior—that sad, distant Cloud who rarely cracked a smile. This new Cloud before him... Surely, Tidus had helped him become that new Cloud. Or maybe, he had just helped uncover the old Cloud, the one who had existed before the world had turned against him.

Tidus took in a deep breath and let it out. He wanted to continue revelling in this joviality that he and Cloud had achieved together, but he knew he should try to focus on his current surroundings. It was risky being on the road when Chaos troops were likely scouting for them, trying to prevent them from reaching Order's Sanctuary, but there was still one little task that he felt he had to do.

He and Cloud stood there for a minute, glancing every now and then in the direction where Zidane and Bartz had run off. They were nowhere in sight, and were far enough away that their voices couldn't be heard. Cloud was the one to give a sigh this time.

"I wonder if they found the gate," Cloud pondered, aloud. Tidus shrugged, and fidgeted as his heart thumped against his chest again.

"Um, don't look. I needa go use the bushes, okay?" Tidus announced, with a sheepish smile.

"Oh, sure. I'll stay here," Cloud said. He waited while Tidus jogged over to a nearby tree, then he turned away.

Cloud sucked in a heavy breath, turning his gaze toward the grass, and retracing with his eyes the steps that Bartz and Zidane had taken. He half wished they hadn't split up. Splitting up always seemed like a dangerous idea, and Cloud wasn't familiar with this area like Bartz was. He hoped the two would return soon. Cloud let out the breath that he finally realized he was holding in, and raised his head a little, his eyes giving a sidelong glance to where Tidus had disappeared behind the tree, then mentally scolded himself for spying as he brought his gaze back down toward his boots.

Tidus glanced to make sure Cloud wasn't looking his way, then he darted his head back in behind the tree and tugged his knapsack off of his back. He knelt down and began to dig through it, searching until his hand came in contact with the thing he was searching for. He smiled as he held the object in his hand, then he closed his palm and put his knapsack back on.

"I'm back," he announced, as he strolled out from behind the tree.

"Already?" Cloud frowned, hesitantly turning back toward him. "Did you even go?"

"No," Tidus laughed. "I just needed a minute to find something."

"What?" Cloud asked.

Tidus smiled and opened his palm, and Cloud's face lit up with surprise; all other emotions fell away as his radiant eyes scanned the small object. It was the same earring that Tidus had given him before; Cloud knew it down to its every detail. His heart fluttered like a chocobo chick in a cage as he went to speak.

"How did you...? I thought I'd lost it." Tidus could have sworn his comrade sounded a little emotional. Cloud stared up at Tidus with wondering eyes, but wonder wasn't the only emotion Tidus could see staring back at him. The other? Pure happiness.

"Sorry. I swiped it from you a while back."

"Why?" Cloud asked, evidently confused.

"I wanted a chance to give it to you properly. You know, when it might actually mean something," Tidus said, rubbing the back of his head. He was amazed Cloud wasn't mad at him for stealing back the precious item, but Cloud just continued to stand there and smile, reassuring Tidus that he didn't have to worry. He actually appeared to be touched by the kind gesture. Tidus wore a timid grin, suddenly feeling slightly self-conscious as he met Cloud's eyes.

"May I?" he asked, nodding in Cloud's direction.

"Of course," Cloud replied, smiling softly.

Tidus moved forward, his hands reaching out to cup Cloud's ear. Cloud waited patiently while Tidus removed the small stud that he was currently wearing, and slipped the Zanarkand Abes earring into its place. Cloud closed his eyes as he was soothed by Tidus' gentle touch—the way Tidus' gloved fingertips lightly grazed Cloud's earlobe as he worked, the way Tidus had to keep tucking a persistent strand of hair behind Cloud's ear when it refused to stay out of the way. The elder just couldn't keep a smile off his face. When Tidus finished with the piece of jewelry, he pressed a kiss to Cloud's forehead.

"It looks good on you," he whispered.

"Does it?" Cloud asked, touching his ear to make sure the earring was good and secure.

"Yeah." Tidus dropped the old earring into Cloud's palm with a grin, and Cloud smiled back. Cloud stuffed the jewelry into his pocket before letting his hand fall back down to his side.

"Maybe we should go after the others," Tidus said, glancing in the direction where Bartz and Zidane had run off. He gave Cloud another half-smile and turned toward the trees, but was stopped by Cloud's hand on his arm.

"Tidus, wait." A kiss was pressed against Tidus' eager lips when he turned around, and Cloud felt a hand on his waist, coaxing him in a little closer. Cloud didn't dare resist.

"Thanks," Tidus whispered, when Cloud's lips slowly drifted away from his own. Their foreheads lingered close together, and Cloud's eyelids slowly opened. Tidus stared at him, admiring each facial detail up close.

"Thank _you_. The earring. I love it," Cloud said, softly. He felt Tidus' warm breath below his nose before Tidus captured his lips again.

"It was no problem," Tidus smiled, gently.

Their moment of happiness was cut short when they heard Zidane give a loud, echoing shout from somewhere within the trees. They whipped around to stare in the direction from where the voice had come, and their insides churned with dread.

"He sounds like he's in trouble. " Tidus' voice trembled as he spoke.

"Let's go," Cloud coaxed, breaking into a run. Tidus was quick to follow.

* * *

As Tidus and Cloud went deeper into the forest, it became more and more evident that Zidane and Bartz had been forced into battle. The clangs of weapons, and the cries of what sounded like several warriors rang out through the trees, which only made Tidus and Cloud even more antsy. Finally, they reached a clearing, and they were able to see the fight for themselves. A few feet from where they stood, Squall was shooting off his gunblade, aiming at the lavishly dressed Ultimecia, and most of the time, having his bullets deflected by the shield of magic she was raising around herself. On the far side of the battlefield was a gate. Tidus' spirits sank when he looked to the left, and saw that Zidane and Bartz were fighting a familiar knight, clad in black, lance in hand.

"Cecil?" Tidus whispered, weakly. He tried to take a step ahead, but Cloud had an arm on his in a second, pulling him back.

"He's not on our side anymore," Cloud reminded him, though he knew the words would sound cold.

"I know, but, maybe if we can just talk to him—" Tidus tried to tug away from Cloud's grip, but the Ex-SOLDIER's strength prevented him from breaking free.

"Tidus, it's too dangerous. I don't want you getting hurt."

Their conversation was interrupted when a ball of magic was unexpectedly hurled in their direction. Neither had time to duck nor dodge the attack, and they fell to the ground together when an ice attack hit them. Cloud landed face-down on top of Tidus, and it took him a minute to catch his breath.

"Are you okay?" he asked, as he raised his head off of Tidus' chest, but he could tell by Tidus' scrunched up expression that he wasn't.

"It's my knee again," Tidus replied through clenched teeth.

Cloud quickly clambered off of him, eyes darting to the reddened knee that Tidus had injured when he'd fought Jecht, and scrambling to find the healing materia that Firion had given him the day before. Tidus sat up, and clutched his knee; it looked like it was starting to swell. Finally, after thoroughly rummaging through his bag, Cloud found the materia, and he pressed it to Tidus' leg as he knelt beside him. The younger man let out a noise of relief when the pain started to fade a little.

"Can you keep an eye on the battle for me?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah," Tidus nodded.

Cloud closed his eyes, hoping to focus as much of his energy on healing as he could so it would be done in a small amount of time. Tidus glanced around quickly, making sure they remained out of harm's way. Squall and Ultimecia were still preoccupied with their battle, and Zidane and Bartz seemed to be dishing out a good number of attacks on Cecil. As Tidus continued to survey the area, he discovered where the blast of magic had come from. About twenty feet to the left stood Kefka, a maniacal smile on his face as he stood with a hand on his chin. From the look of it, he seemed to be enjoying the battle as much as a kid at a circus. It was almost sickening.

"Cloud, it's Kefka. He's the one who hit us," Tidus whispered, hoping he wouldn't interfere with Cloud's concentration too much.

"Are we alright here?" Cloud asked, though his closed lids and firm expression indicated he was still focused.

"For now."

Tidus wished he hadn't spoken so soon. Kefka seemed to grow tired of watching the battle, and instead, he began walking toward the two on the ground. Tidus began rapidly tapping Cloud on the shoulder.

"Cloud, he's coming," he whispered, urgently. Cloud opened his eyes and glanced to the side to see Kefka dancing his way toward them.

"We gotta move!" Tidus shouted now, sounding panicked.

Cloud stuffed the materia into his pocket, and offered a hand as Tidus tried to push himself to his feet. Tidus let out a whimper as the pain caused his knee to give out. He fell to the ground again and landed hard on his backside, but Cloud was quick to move in front of him. He stood strong guarding his companion, sword drawn.

"You okay?" Cloud asked, giving a quick look back at the man on the ground behind him.

"Uh-huh," Tidus managed to reply.

"Well, well," Kefka sang as he approached. "I don't remember having this much fun in a very long time." Cloud adjusted his posture, and tried to look as big and threatening as he could. Tidus scooted back a little; he didn't want to get in the way if another battle broke out.

"Don't get used to it," Cloud spat. "Your fun's about to run out."

"Is that a threat?!" Kefka sneered, poking his face in close to Cloud's, but Cloud leaned away.

"And what if it is? What difference does it make?"

"Well," Kefka scoffed. "I see Cosmos was able to keep your cocky attitude intact when she brought you back." Cloud paused for a couple of seconds, then frowned.

"Brought me back?" he repeated. Tidus frowned in confusion as he stared up at his partner's back. Memories flashed through Tidus' head on fast-forward, memories of watching purple fog whisk away the defeated Cloud, carrying Cloud's revived corpse back from Order's Sanctuary, and watching over him until he was himself again. But... was it possible that Cloud didn't remember what had put him in that near-catatonic state? Tidus felt his heart skip a beat.

"Don't be ashamed. I was revived, as well," Kefka grinned, throwing his hands up as if to say it didn't matter. "Only, Shinryu does a much better job than Cosmos does. None of this _waiting-for-your-memories-to-return_ business after you're restored."

"Are you done talking?" Cloud scowled.

"Cheeky boy. I have a present for you," Kefka smiled.

Cloud remained at the ready, but Kefka stayed as still as a stone. Cloud waited, and waited, then Kefka sprung into action, launching himself past Cloud and into Tidus' direction. Tidus closed his eyes and raised his arms up in front of his face, hoping to protect himself if an attack was thrown his way. He opened his eyes when he didn't feel anything, and he realized that Kefka had gone right past him.

Both Tidus and Cloud turned to look at the harlequin, and Kefka sent another blast of magic toward Cloud. This sent Cloud spiralling a good few feet into the middle of the field, in between where the other two battles were taking place. Cloud landed hard on his back. He heard Tidus' voice calling out to him, and he let out a few hard coughs before he could push himself to sit up. Kefka followed him to where he landed. Meanwhile, Tidus managed to get back on his feet.

"Not quite there yet," Kefka sighed. He grabbed Cloud by the collar and pulled him to his feet. Cloud coughed again.

"Let's see how high you can fly!" the demon screamed.

Cloud was helpless to stop him, and he cursed as Kefka's icy fist was pressed to his chest. As the clown released his magic, Cloud felt himself being tossed into the air for a second time, and he hit the ground with such force that it made him want to vomit. Cloud put a hand to his injured chest; he was sure the ice magic would leave burns on his pale skin. Tidus limped his way toward the two, and drew his sword, praying that he would be able to attack Kefka from behind. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to keep his position a secret.

"Tidus, look out!" Bartz shouted. Tidus turned to look in Bartz's direction, and he held his breath when he saw Cecil charging at him. Kefka spun around to see Tidus only a few steps behind him, and he grinned wildly.

"Oh, what a show!" he cried.

"Cecil, don't you remember us?" Tidus whispered. He closed his eyes as Cecil came toward him, lance pointed at his chest. Tidus fell to the ground when Zidane crashed into him.

"Tidus, don't be so stupid!" Zidane screamed, giving Tidus a good slap across the face as he lay there on the ground.

Tidus was motionless, stunned. Zidane looked so frantic to knock some sense into him, but Tidus couldn't understand why. This was Cecil. Their friend. If there was a chance of getting him back, shouldn't they at least try?

"Cecil's gone! You've gotta let go already!" Zidane shouted. There they were. The accusations again. Zidane's words sent Tidus over the edge, and he shoved the boy off of him. He pinned Zidane to the ground instead, and punched him in the jaw.

"It's not that easy! You weren't the one who let him die!" Tidus yelled.

Kefka laughed in amusement at the Cosmos warriors' argument, but his attention was diverted from them when he heard a soft rustling in the grass behind him. He spun around, and saw Cloud trying to crawl his way out of his reach. Cloud's jaw trembled when he realized he was going to be caught again. He closed his eyes and whimpered when Kefka pulled him up by the collar once more, and he could do nothing but hang there as Kefka carried his weakened body over to the gate.

"This one should do it," he whispered into Cloud's ear. Then, with one last burst of magic, he sent Cloud crashing through the gate. Kefka smiled as the Cosmos warrior disappeared through the archway. Releasing a contented sigh, he dusted off his hands and made his way back into the centre of the battlefield to continue his observation.

Bartz had Cecil pinned to the ground now with his arms behind his back. He tugged the lance out of his former companion's grip, and tossed it aside.

"Zidane, a little help?!" Bartz called out, frantically. Zidane was up off the ground in a second, leaving a bruised Tidus to try and compose himself. Zidane hit Cecil with a few strikes and slashes of his blade, but he and Bartz fell backwards when Cecil broke free, and took off at a run.

"Come back here, you bastard!" Zidane yelled, getting up off the ground as quickly as he had fallen, but Bartz pulled him back.

"It's no use. Let's just help Squall for now," Bartz said, softly, as Cecil disappeared into the trees. Zidane reluctantly agreed, though his scowl implied that he didn't want to.

Tidus got up from the ground, and pulled up his suspender that had fallen off his shoulder sometime during his kerfuffle with Zidane. With a sigh, and a heavy heart, he looked around for his closest companion. When he didn't see him, panic set in.

"Cloud! Cloud? Guys, did you see where Cloud went?" he shouted, but his friends were too involved in the battle with Ultimecia to pay him any mind.

His stomach flipped as he looked around a few more times, and couldn't see so much as a trace of Cloud. His eyes came to a dead halt when he caught sight of Kefka. The Chaos warrior stood there in the middle of the battlefield, a smirk on his face. He gave a wave. Then, with his thumb, he pointed in the direction of the gate, and bounced his hand there a few times. Tidus felt a new burst of fury rise up inside him, and he raced past Kefka and into the gate before his friends or the pain in his knee could stop him.

* * *

_White walls. There were white walls everywhere, or perhaps there were no walls. Perhaps white nothingness was all there was. Cloud lay there, in midair, on his blanket of white. His eyes were closed, but somehow, he didn't have to open them to see. He knew who was beside him. Warrior of Light, Firion, Onion Knight, Cecil, Bartz, Terra, Squall, Zidane, and Tidus—his friends._

_He felt a hand fall upon his forehead, and he knew it wasn't any of them. It wasn't Aerith or Zack, either. No, it was Cosmos. Her touch was somehow familiar. He had probably been here before.  
_

" _My dear warrior, Cloud. I give to you the power you need to defeat Chaos, an energy that will rest inside you until your strong will is proven in battle. Only then will it take its necessary form: a crystal. Your crystal, and the crystals of your comrades, are what will help us win this war. Cloud, please, awaken, and begin your journey."_

_The scene shifted, and Cloud spun around a couple of times before coming back to lie in the same position on his back. His eyes were still closed, but he could feel a familiar, uncomfortable heat around him. He was in Chaos' lair. He remembered what it felt like. He twitched a little when he felt Cosmos' hand on his chest, but he settled into her touch after a second. He realized as Cosmos began to revitalize him that he had been in a great deal of pain. As she continued to hold her hand on him, the discomfort lessened, and Cloud could feel himself being transported back to the room with the white walls._

" _Let me remind you once more," Cosmos said. "Your crystal..."_

"Cloud! Cloud!" Tidus shouted, shaking his sleeping companion's shoulders. Cloud woke up with a start, and he sat up quick, breathing hard. He put a hand to his chest, and felt his heart pounding against his fingers.

"What's wrong?" Tidus asked, kneeling in front of Cloud, and trying to catch his eye.

"I feel... like I can't breathe," Cloud said, though he seemed to be taking in air just fine, despite the heaviness of his breathing.

"Hey, easy," Tidus murmured, as his hand crept up to rest on Cloud's back. He scanned Cloud's chest for injuries, and although he couldn't see any scrapes, burns, or bruises through the dark fabric, the shirt itself looked undamaged; he could only hope that was the case underneath, too.

"Where are we?" Cloud asked, his voice shaking.

His eyes darted around erratically, and he felt uncertain of whether or not he was still in a dream. The white walls that had previously surrounded him were gone, and a forest was in its place. Dark, fluffy conifer trees were laid out in a circle around him, and the air smelled piney and damp. Cloud hoped his mind wasn't clever enough to conjure up this whole forest.

"Through the gate. Kefka shoved you through," Tidus replied. He squinted a little, trying hard to analyze Cloud's odd behaviour. He hoped it wasn't the result of a concussion or something.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Tidus..." Cloud trailed off. His throat felt tight as he merely thought about asking the dreaded question. It didn't make sense. All his memories seemed to be in place. Except for... whatever had happened in his fight with Chaos, after he had lost consciousness.

"Did I die?" Cloud asked, his eyes still not meeting his partner's.

"What?" Tidus frowned. "Of course not. You just passed out for a second, that's all."

"No," Cloud said, voice trembling, shaking his head. "I don't mean now. After I fought Chaos."

Cloud dared a glance at Tidus, and he saw how his companion's eyes had widened, how his lips had parted a little. Cloud's heart started to pound, and though he tried to prevent himself from seeking the truth, he just couldn't.

"I... I _did_ die, didn't I?"

"W-when you woke up, you said you remembered everything," Tidus said, his expression softening as he tried to understand.

"I thought I had," Cloud admitted, his gaze falling away from Tidus' again. "Obviously, I was wrong." Tidus stared at him a minute longer, his worry growing by the second as Cloud seemed to look more and more distraught.

Cloud hated himself for this. It didn't seem right. He had died, yet he couldn't remember the pain. He had been revived, a blessing that Zack had deserved and never received. Cloud felt lost, confused, and it was written clearly across his pale face. Why had his friends not been given a second chance at life? Zack and Aerith deserved it just as much, if not far more than he did. Why couldn't the planet just let him go?

"Take it easy, okay?" Tidus said, forcing the most comforting smile he could, but his eyes still held concern. Cloud didn't see it, however, as his eyes closed again—this time tighter than they had been before. Cloud looked like he was in pain. He put a hand to his forehead, and let out a barely audible groan. Tidus' ears still detected it like a dog's, however.

"Hey, tell me what's wrong," Tidus whispered. He was so scared, he could feel himself shaking. This wasn't like Cloud. Something had happened to him when he'd gone through the gate; Tidus was almost positive.

"My head... hurts," Cloud managed to tell him.

"Okay, let's get you somewhere safe."

Tidus got to his feet and, despite his swollen knee, managed to hoist Cloud up beside him. His first instinct was to return to the gate, but he thought better of it when he remembered the grand battle that was most likely raging on on the other side. Tidus was a little surprised when he felt Cloud lean in against his side. Cloud's knees were bent slightly, like he couldn't support himself. Tidus forced out a shaky breath and slipped an arm around Cloud's waist to help steady him, but his concern grew when Cloud's head fell limply onto his shoulder.

"Tidus," Cloud whimpered.

"Yeah?" The next thing Tidus knew, Cloud was unconscious, his body growing limper still against Tidus' body. If not for the arm still around Cloud's waist, Tidus surely couldn't have prevented him from falling to the ground. So much for getting somewhere safe. Tidus wrapped a second arm around Cloud, this hand coming to rest between Cloud's shoulders.

"Cloud?" Tidus whispered, though he didn't expect a reply.

A sigh escaped his lips, and he very carefully began to manoeuvre himself and Cloud to the nearest tree. With small, jerky motions, he was able to lower them both to the ground. Tidus wasn't satisfied until he had gotten Cloud sitting with his back against the base of the tree. Cloud's head dropped languidly down, and Tidus' brows creased with concern when he thought about the possibility that Cloud might hurt his neck sitting like that.

Tidus scooted in beside his companion, the tree providing just enough space so that Tidus' back could rest against it as well. Tidus brought a hand to Cloud's head, and gingerly tilted it up until it came to rest on his shoulder, then he let his hand fall back down to his side. His insides were all tied up in knots. There was something terribly unsettling about everything that had just happened, and until Cloud woke up, Tidus would have to be okay with not knowing what that something was.

Tidus stared at the gate in front of him. Before the gate lay a pile of his and Cloud's belongings. Their bags, bedrolls, and tent were strewn about in disarray. Tidus' blade, as well as Cloud's, were resting flat on their sides, just barely visible through the grass. Tidus didn't even try to figure out how their belongings had gotten there. If he'd noticed the pile while he was up, he would have grabbed a materia from one of their bags to continue healing his knee, but one glance at Cloud's placid face was enough to convince him to stay put. He didn't want to disturb Cloud again. But then... there was materia in Cloud's pocket, wasn't there?

Tidus gave a hesitant glance toward Cloud's pocket, the one farthest away from him. Tidus' intentions were, of course, innocent, but he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed about reaching over to retrieve it. With a deep breath, Tidus reached over to Cloud's right pocket, and luckily, the materia rolled out after having barely been touched. Tidus reached his arm out a little further, his fingertips straining to gather up the materia from its position in the grass. That was when he heard Cloud give a little groan beside him, and he withdrew his arm, refocusing his attention on Cloud.

"You okay?" Tidus asked, when Cloud attempted to lift his head off of his shoulder.

"Mm-hmm," Cloud whispered, successfully raising his head on his second attempt. He turned his face toward Tidus, but his gaze was on the ground. He stared down, no emotion whatsoever on his face, yet his posture still looked disturbingly solemn. Cloud blinked back tears when he felt them at his eyes.

"Is it your head again?" Tidus asked, ducking his head a little to try and meet Cloud's distant gaze, but he was unsuccessful.

"No, it's not that," Cloud said, quickly.

His eyes fell closed, and Tidus moved his hand to his face, gently coaxing Cloud to look at him, but when Tidus caught his gaze, he knew there was still something wrong. Cloud's eyes were full of sadness, and Tidus was used to that, but there was something else in them, too. Cloud was scared. _Terrified_.

"What is it, love?" Tidus asked, shocking even himself with how fluidly the last word had slipped off his tongue.

Cloud's eyes widened a little, then he looked down as emotion swept over him. It had been a long time since he had been addressed in such an endearing manner, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold back. When Cloud looked up again, Tidus could see emotion returning to Cloud's eyes, and he realized his soft words and gentle tone had had an impact that neither one of them had been expecting.

"Tidus, I'm failing," Cloud whispered.

"Failing? What do you mean?" Tidus asked, a worried frown creeping onto his sun-kissed face. Cloud swallowed and averted his gaze, hoping it might save him from trying to speak further, but Tidus brought a hand to his face again, and Cloud turned toward him once more as he was reminded of the comfort that Tidus was so good at offering.

"A minute ago, when I came through that gate, I heard Cosmos' voice in my head. And when I passed out just now, she told me the same thing again," Cloud whispered, his eyes finally coming to meet Tidus', and silently begging him to explain what his visions meant.

"Okay," Tidus said, slowly. "What did she say?" Cloud gave a sigh, and Tidus could tell he wanted to avert his gaze again, but Tidus did his best to keep his eyes locked with Cloud's. He stared at him, his pupils focused and steady, but he hoped Cloud could see by the way he looked at him that all he wanted to do was help.

"Only those with a strong will may obtain their crystals. I guess... it's no wonder I haven't found it yet," Cloud said, his eyes drifting away from Tidus'. Tidus inwardly regretted his inability to hold Cloud's gaze. Cloud gave a cold chuckle.

"How could I when I have all these doubts?"

"Come on. You'll get your crystal," Tidus promised him, forcing a half-smile.

"I must be doing something wrong." Cloud's tone was dark, sad. "Why else would Cosmos bother to tell me that?"

Tidus hesitated, unable to come up with an answer, let alone one that would be convincing. Honestly, he had no idea what was going on. He didn't know if what Cloud had heard in his head were memories, or Cosmos calling him directly, but maybe it didn't matter. He had to focus on the part that was bothering Cloud, and that was his crystal.

"You shouldn't worry about it too much, Cloud. Even if by some chance you didn't get your crystal, we'd deal. It's not like we can't fight without 'em," Tidus said, mustering a small grin.

"I know, but Cosmos said we're stronger once we have them. And I know... that she was trying to tell me something just now. She _needs_ me to get my crystal."

"Yeah, but—"

"I just... I just don't know where to find my strength," Cloud sighed, closing his eyes. "Fighting Chaos wasn't the answer... Dying... living again... it all got me nowhere."

"Cloud," Tidus murmured, wishing so badly Cloud would just look at him. It scared him the way Cloud was acting so unlike himself. Tidus was used to deep emotions getting the better of Cloud, but perhaps learning of his revival was taking its toll on him. Tidus breathed in deeply, and searched for the most soothing advice he could think of.

"Cloud?" Tidus said, firmly. His strong hands clutched Cloud's shoulders, and Cloud felt himself looking into his partner's eyes. "You can find your strength in me."

Cloud's eyes flickered with emotion—sadness, gratitude, relief. One of his hands travelled up to rest on Tidus', and he brushed it gently as it rested on his shoulder. He swallowed hard, and focused on breathing, in and out, steadily. His gaze fell toward the grass as memories of his battle with Chaos surged through his already fragile mind, but he knew where those thoughts were leading: somewhere comforting.

"You're right," he spoke up, pausing momentarily when Tidus seemed to be stunned by that response. "I think... you've been my strength for a while now," Cloud continued.

"Huh?" Tidus asked, softly, cocking his head to the side.

"I remember now. I fought Chaos because I wanted to be free of this world's endless cycle, but also because I wanted us to have a chance. That was the first time I realized I wanted to fight for us. I _still_ want to fight for us," Cloud announced, making eye contact, confidently this time.

"Well, that sounds like a strong will to me," Tidus told him, with a small smile.

Their heads shot to the side when they heard a noise in the distance, like a twig snapping underneath someone's foot. They waited, and Tidus rose from the ground. He held a hand out in front of Cloud, silently telling him to stay put.

"Anybody there?" Tidus asked, voice resonating with a frightened echo. His stomach turned when black boots stepped out from behind a tree to the right of the gate. Black clothing and silver hair slithered into view, and Tidus felt waves of tension surging down his spine at the sight of the man before him. Sephiroth.

Tidus knew Cloud would be even more panicked now, and he tried to stay in the way of Cloud's line of vision as long as he could, preventing him from seeing the Chaos warrior. He hoped those fearful waves he was feeling weren't strong enough to reach Cloud.

"What is it?" Cloud asked, looking up at his partner's back from the ground. Tidus glanced at his sword, still lying in the same position by the gate. He muttered under his breath. There was no way he could reach it and hide Cloud from Sephiroth at the same time.

"Cloud, I want you to run," Tidus whispered. Cloud's brows curled up in worry, those words sparking a deep pang within his heart, a pang caused by mako-blurred memories that were too hard to fully remember.

"What?" he asked. His voice was suddenly hoarse.

"Run. I'll follow you."

"Why? What's going on?" Cloud's panicked voice was making Tidus even more on edge, but he tried not to show it as the enemy approached. Tidus cursed when he felt Cloud stand up behind him. He heard Cloud give a startled gasp. It almost sounded like he had choked on something.

"Seph... iroth," Cloud stuttered. He felt his heart shrivel up inside his chest. Sephiroth—yet another obstacle he'd had to tackle here, which had left him still without a crystal. Was there any point in fighting anymore? Tidus shoved his elbow back behind him, hitting Cloud's chest hard enough to knock some sense into him.

"Cloud, grab your sword and run, okay?!" Tidus shouted, still standing strong and tall in front of his comrade's feeble form. Cloud hesitated, glancing between Tidus and Sephiroth, but he could feel his courage failing him. He couldn't fight Sephiroth again. It never did any good.

Normally, Cloud wouldn't have even debated leaving Tidus behind in a battle like this, in a battle against Sephiroth of all people, but his frantic mind and shot nerves were winning over his courage and rational thinking. He trusted Tidus, didn't he? Tidus had defeated Jecht on his own, hadn't he? Then for now, Cloud had to trust that he could handle this, too.

Cloud let out a grunt as he pushed himself into a run toward the gate. He dipped down just long enough to grab his sword, then he took off into the forest, away from Sephiroth, away from Tidus. He hated himself for running scared, but with his head as funny and fluttery as it was, and the knots in his stomach from his newly regained memories, he tried his hardest to convince himself it was for the best. He pleaded with the earth that Tidus would keep his promise and follow him; Cloud couldn't even let himself imagine a scenario where he didn't.


	30. Hero

**Chapter 30: Hero**

Tidus was down on his hands and knees, struggling to catch his breath. The thin slice that Sephiroth had made in his arm was nothing compared to the pain in his throbbing knee. Sephiroth had kicked him there twice, and the second time, Tidus had gone right to the ground. Sephiroth must have seen his weak point, as Tidus had never seen him attack with anything but his blade before.

Tidus tried to take in a few more breaths, but they were unstable ones that hardly did him any good. Defeated, Tidus rolled onto his back, and was able to catch a more regular breath now that the pressure was off of his injured joint. He stared up at the sky above him, the bright sun and small, puffy, white clouds a strangely pleasant sight for the type of day it had been.

Tidus felt queasy. Sephiroth was gone, and he had no idea where Cloud had disappeared to after he'd taken off. He doubted Cloud was in any shape to fight Sephiroth at the moment. He was still shaken up from Cosmos' message about the crystals, and from realizing that his fight with Chaos had had more of a sour end than he'd remembered.

Tidus saw a glow out of the corner of his eye, and recognized that it was coming from the gate. He tried to muster the strength to roll over, to get up and fight, but he was in agony. He just couldn't move. He heard a gasp from behind him, and a second later, he heard two pairs of footsteps heading his way.

"Tidus! Are you okay?" Zidane shouted, kneeling down at Tidus' side. Tidus was relieved when Zidane's face came into his line of view.

"It's my knee," Tidus whimpered, his eyes flickering down to his injury, then back up to Zidane. "It hurts pretty bad." He saw Zidane's face turn a little pale when he glanced at his leg.

"It's okay. We'll get you fixed up," Zidane promised. Tidus wanted to be comforted by this, but Zidane looked upset, more upset than he should have been from merely seeing an injury, even if it was one swollen beyond belief. Bartz ran over a second later, and knelt beside Zidane.

"Materia, Bartz," Zidane said, holding out his open palm. Tidus watched as Bartz dug in his pocket for the item. He was biting his lip, looking even more distraught than Zidane. Something was definitely wrong.

"What's going on?" Tidus asked, warily. Bartz and Zidane exchanged tearful looks, then tried to focus on Tidus once again. Bartz handed Zidane the materia, avoiding eye contact now, and Zidane pressed the magical orb to Tidus' knee. Tidus let out a groan, but he quickly brought his attention back to his friends, and tried to ignore the pain.

"It's Squall," Zidane eventually spoke up, eyes never straying from Tidus' injury, even though he could feel Tidus' eyes straining to meet his own.

"Yeah?" Tidus frowned.

"He didn't make it," Zidane whispered. There was disbelief in his voice, like even he himself couldn't believe he was saying those words. After all, how could such a horrible thing be true? Bartz bit his lip harder, and his gaze came to rest on the grass below him. He knew that if he were to speak, only sobs would escape him.

"What?" Tidus asked, his voice almost failing him as he desperately tried to catch Zidane's gaze again. "Ultimecia?"

"Yeah, it was Ultimecia," Zidane replied, weakly, eyes still on Tidus' knee. "Bartz and I managed to take her down, but... we were too late." Zidane closed his eyes, trying not to cry. He promised himself he wouldn't. He needed to be strong for his friends, especially Bartz. He knew Bartz was taking it the hardest.

Tidus pushed himself up to rest on his elbows, but allowed Zidane to continue healing him. He dared a glance at a tearful Bartz.

"What about Kefka? What happened to him?" Tidus tried, gently.

"He ran off," Bartz managed to reply. "I wouldn't doubt he's gonna try and stop us before we get to the Sanctuary."

"Cloud," Tidus said suddenly, attempting to push himself up. "If Kefka's still out there, then I need to find Cloud before he does." Zidane and Bartz quickly pushed Tidus down again.

"Whoa, easy there. I'd be surprised if you could even walk when there's this much swelling," Zidane frowned. Tidus felt himself start to panic, and when Bartz noticed this, he put a hand on his shoulder.

"Cloud'll be okay," Bartz said, but he had to bite his lip again when he began to doubt himself on that. He'd always thought Squall was a strong fighter, too, but sometimes, strength wasn't enough.

"No, you don't understand. Sephiroth's out there looking for him, too," Tidus explained, quickly.

"Oh, man," Zidane muttered. "Kefka _and_ Sephiroth, huh? So, Chaos really can revive his warriors now."

"Yeah, he can," Tidus said, stifling another noise of discomfort when Zidane unintentionally tensed up and pressed the materia a little harder to his knee. The warriors fell silent after that, soaking in the eery atmosphere of this cursed day. Chaos undeniably had the upper hand in this war right now, and as it stood, none of the Cosmos troops seemed to be in any state to turn the tides. Injured, heartbroken, confused—all of them felt one effect or another, but Tidus refused to let this be their defeat.

"Come on, let me go," he pressed, trying for a second time to push himself up. "I've gotta go get Cloud."

"No, one of us will go," Zidane objected. Bartz nodded and scooted in a little closer.

"You go, Zidane. Right now, you're probably in a better state of mind for a fight than I am," Bartz said, forcing a sad smile.

Zidane glanced at his friend, his friend who looked so lost and weary, and gave a gentle nod. He willingly handed over the materia before getting to his feet. Tidus managed not to flinch this time when Bartz placed the materia to his swollen leg.

"Don't worry, T. I'll bring him back in one piece," Zidane said, somehow finding the energy to force a half-smile, but only because he wanted Tidus to relax and stay put. There was a crease between Tidus' brows that clearly displayed his reluctance, but he soon gave in and placed his trust in Zidane. He nodded his approval and Zidane was gone in a flash, running through the woods as fast as his little legs could carry him.

* * *

Cloud was collapsed on the ground, his head resting against the trunk of a tree. He didn't know how long he'd been running, or how far he'd gone, but he was exhausted. More than exhausted. In fact, he felt downright sick. His forehead was drenched with sweat, and he couldn't stop fidgeting. His breath was coming out in thick, heavy pants. His face was flushed, his body warm. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought he had a fever, but he thought it was more likely that his symptoms were the result of stress.

The day had been crazy. Remembering that he had died after fighting Chaos, hearing Cosmos' reminder about finding his crystal, having to flee from Sephiroth, and getting separated from Tidus... It was all too much. Cloud didn't know how he was going to settle down.

He took in a few more heavy breaths and readjusted himself against the tree, tossing his head back against it in an attempt to open his airways and suck in a steadier breath. It didn't help. Instead, he forced himself to think of the only thing that seemed to relax him as of late. Tidus. Cloud closed his eyes, and imagined that Tidus was kneeling here in front of him.

He pictured those ocean-like eyes—not like the oceans back home, but the glistening, saturated ones here in Cosmos' world, and the ones he assumed Tidus had frequented growing up, earning him his darkened skin and aquatic talent. He imagined Tidus raising a hand to his sweat-covered forehead, and gently pushing his damp bangs to the side with his warm, tanned fingers. He tried to think of what Tidus might say to him in that moment, what words he might choose to comfort him.

Cloud fidgeted again and whimpered a little. He opened his eyes again when he decided he was just too damn warm to focus on his thoughts. His tension lessened a little when he saw a familiar face coming his way.

"Zidane? What are you doing here?" Cloud asked, as Zidane trotted over, tail swishing as he ran.

"Tidus was worried, so I came to see if I could find you." Zidane gave a small smile as he knelt down in front of Cloud. At first he was relieved to have located Cloud so easily, but his satisfaction dwindled as he took in Cloud's disgruntled appearance.

"Are you okay?"

"I've been asked that a lot today," Cloud replied, with a shaky exhale. "I'll be fine. Where's Tidus? Is he okay?"

"Bartz is healing him right now," Zidane said. He saw Cloud's expression change to one of concern, and he immediately regretted his approach to the explanation. Zidane quickly shook his head.

"Don't worry. It's nothing serious. His knee's pretty swollen, but when Bartz is finished with him, he'll be right as rain." Zidane managed another fake smile for his friend's sake. Cloud leaned his head back even further against the tree, and stared up at the sky peeking out from between the conifer needles above him. He didn't say anything for a long moment, and Zidane gave another small frown.

"Do you want me to take you to him?" he asked. Cloud brought his gaze back down to meet his friend's.

"I'm not sure if I can walk," Cloud admitted.

"Well, judging by how you look, I wouldn't recommend it, either," Zidane agreed, folding his arms as he crouched there. After a minute, he stood up and let out a sigh.

"Tell you what? I'll go tell the others where you are, and Bartz and I will bring Tidus here to meet up with you. Sound good?"

"Yeah," Cloud nodded. "Just be quick, alright?" Normally, Cloud wouldn't have requested such a thing, but he didn't trust himself to be left alone right now. He didn't trust his body, nor his mind, especially since this wasn't the first time he had regained forgotten memories.

"Okay, you just hang on a little longer," Zidane encouraged him. With a snap of his gloved fingers, he took off running once again.

Cloud closed his eyes, and focused as hard as he could on the simple task of breathing. He still couldn't calm himself, no matter how hard he tried. He knew he wouldn't feel at ease again until Zidane returned with Bartz and Tidus. He would feel a lot better—a lot _safer_ —once they arrived.

Cloud took in a deep breath, held it for five seconds, then opened his eyes as he let it out. His stomach flipped when he saw, standing straight ahead of him, Sephiroth. A small smile appeared on the man's evil face, and he stared at Cloud with his piercing gaze. Cloud sucked in an uneven breath, and pushed himself to stand up, though he wavered a little against the tree.

"What's wrong, Cloud? Feeling under the weather?" Sephiroth smirked. Cloud reached a hand behind him and took the Buster Sword from where it was leaning against the tree trunk. He swung it out in front of him and held it there in an attempt to keep Sephiroth at a safe distance.

"Sephiroth... Is it really you? Back again?" Cloud asked. He was surprised when his voice actually had some volume to it.

"What do you mean? You hoping I'm just a figment of your imagination?" Sephiroth cocked his head to the side when Cloud didn't reply.

"My apologies, Cloud, but I'm as real as you are."

Cloud's heart sank. He had expected as much, but confirming that Sephiroth really had been revived wasn't an easy piece of information to digest. Cloud's stomach fluttered as Sephiroth took a few steps toward him. He kept his sword pointed at Sephiroth's chest, but he could tell Sephiroth wasn't threatened by it. Cloud probably looked as pathetic as he felt. If Sephiroth could see how weak he was, then surely, he didn't stand a chance in this fight.

Cloud glanced around himself quickly, looking for viable escape routes. For now, he felt the best option was to run and regroup. Apparently, he wasn't as unpredictable as he'd hoped he was. He took a step to the left, ready to run, but Sephiroth moved with him, preventing his escape.

"Don't think I'm going to let you flee. You won't make it back to the Sanctuary," Sephiroth sneered, his smile becoming even more unnerving.

Sephiroth raised a hand, and from the trees behind him slunk four manikins—two of them in the shape of Aerith, two in the shape of Zack. They were crystalline, like the manikins Cloud was used to seeing—not like the lifelike one of Zack that he had encountered before. Still, seeing those manikins walk toward him now, seeing their familiar faces etched into crystal, it didn't make the thought of defeating them any easier. In fact, it made it even worse. Seeing them in that form... For some reason, it was just a stronger reminder that they were dead.

These manikins couldn't talk to him like the previous Zack manikin had. They couldn't try to trick him. Instead, they were silent, muted, unable to communicate or even look Cloud in the eye. They were lifeless faces, just another horrid memory of pain and loss from which Cloud couldn't escape.

Cloud felt his knees buckle beneath him, but he managed to stay on his feet. His heart pounded as the manikins danced their way toward him. He stared at each of them—Zack, Aerith, Zack, Aerith—and felt himself growing weaker by the second.

"I-I can't," Cloud stuttered, his gaze falling to the ground along with his sword.

He could hear the manikins approaching, but he couldn't get his body to move. Sephiroth walked right up to Cloud now, and held his masamune in midair, keeping it aimed at Cloud's chest. If Cloud had breathed out fully, his chest probably would have been penetrated by the tip of Sephiroth's blade. He was ashamed that part of him wished Sephiroth would just stab him already and get it over with. Cloud didn't want to die—not anymore—but he didn't want to face this fight either. He kept his eyes on the ground, and pleaded with his body to stay still.

"I can't do this," Cloud whispered under his breath. He wasn't sure if he wanted Sephiroth to hear that or not. Regardless, he was heard.

"I can't keep fighting you over and over again," Cloud said, louder this time.

"Don't you understand? It doesn't matter how many times you fight me, Cloud," Sephiroth said, pausing to smirk. "I'll always come back."

"But why? I've defeated you. Over and over. What makes you think that result is ever going to change?" Cloud asked, eyes slanting with utmost confusion as he struggled to understand.

"Because _you_ never change. You're so wrapped up in your own despair and your own weaknesses that you'll never grow stronger. However, if _I_ change, if _I_ become stronger... Even just slightly..."

Sephiroth drew his elbow backward, preparing to deliver to Cloud the last piercing blow. The manikins swarmed around Cloud, eliminating any hopes Cloud had for an escape. Cloud closed his eyes. So, this was it. Any second, that blade would be shoved through his chest again. This time, he prayed Sephiroth's aim would be good enough to make it the last time.

"I win," Sephiroth whispered, mouth twisting into the sickest of smiles. "And when Cosmos brings you back, I'll defeat you all over again. Just as you've done to me."

"Not this time!"

Cloud's eyes flew open when he heard that familiar voice. His head snapped to the side and when he was sure he wasn't dreaming, he let out a breath of relief as Sephiroth turned away.

"Tidus," he said weakly, lips curling into a thankful half-smile. Cloud ducked when Tidus kicked his blitzball in his direction. It hit one of the manikins dead-on, causing the four of them to scatter, leaving Cloud free to run, but Cloud still didn't have the strength.

"We're ending this right now! There'll be no more of this 'haunting Cloud' business," Tidus taunted, a confident smile on his face as he strolled sideways, spinning his sword casually. Sephiroth didn't seem fazed by Tidus' optimism.

"Oh? And how to you plan to stop such an inevitable cycle?" Sephiroth mocked, looking amused.

"This time... _I'm_ going to fight you," Tidus announced, getting himself into battle stance. He bounced on the spot as his adrenaline started to kick in. He was glad Bartz had been able to concentrate long enough to get rid of the swelling in his knee. Through all the excitement, he could hardly even feel the pain anymore.

"Tidus, don't!" Cloud called out, but his voice quickly weakened. "He's too strong."

"What's this, Cloud? Someone else you care about?" Sephiroth quickly jutted his blade toward Tidus, trying to skewer him like he had done in the past with Cloud. Cloud's breath got stuck in his lungs. Tidus rolled swiftly out of the way of the attack, and gracefully landed on his feet again. Cloud had to remind himself to exhale.

"Cloud, get goin'!" Tidus shouted, glancing between Cloud and the enemy. "You take care of the manikins. I'll fight Sephiroth."

Cloud hesitated, and shook his head with worry. He knew how strong Sephiroth was, how much damage he could do in a single blow. Cloud was familiar with Sephiroth's techniques; Tidus wasn't. The whole thing seemed like a horrible idea, and Cloud couldn't even begin to think about how he would cope if Sephiroth took yet another of his loved ones away from him. His mother, Aerith, Zack... Tidus couldn't be added to that list.

"Tidus, please, just run," Cloud begged, but Tidus shook his head, and his eyes pleaded with Cloud to reconsider.

"Cloud, you've just gotta trust me!"

Cloud grew silent as his mind shot back to what Tidus had told him back in the tent that night, the night he'd woken up after his fight with Chaos. _I'm here. You can lean on me, okay?_ And earlier today, after Cloud had heard Cosmos' voice in his head. _Cloud? You can find your strength in me._ Tidus' kind words suddenly began to ring through his mind like a bell—loud and clear. Tidus wanted to be supportive. He _always_ wanted to be supportive, and now, more than ever, Cloud needed his assistance. Help wasn't something Cloud usually asked for, but right now, he didn't even have to ask. Tidus was offering it; all Cloud had to do was reach out and take it. It was nerve-racking—terrifying, even—but if Tidus didn't help in this fight, then they were both doomed.

"Be careful," Cloud urged. With that, he pushed himself up off the ground and gave Tidus a nod before drawing his sword once more. Tidus smiled, then turned back to Sephiroth with an even wider grin.

"Alright. Let's do this, big guy!"

* * *

Cloud worked hard to lure the four manikins away from Tidus and Sephiroth; he knew he and Tidus would have an easier time fighting if they weren't distracted by each other's battles. When he'd succeeded in getting himself and the manikins a safe distance away from the other two, he drew in a breath, and searched deep within his mind, conjuring as much courage as he could. Taking down manikins of two of his dearest, most beloved friends would take more than mere physical strength; that much was certain.

One of the Aerith manikins closed her eyes and began to cast a spell, but Cloud was quick to deliver a few horizontal strikes, knocking her off balance, and ending her concentration. A second later, a Zack manikin was in Cloud's face, taking a hard swipe at him with a blade identical to his own, but Cloud managed to dodge it. He managed a quick glance in Tidus' direction, but his gaze only lingered a moment, long enough to be comforted by the fact that Zidane and Bartz had arrived to help him.

"One of us should go help Cloud!" Bartz shouted, as he and Zidane tried to stay behind Sephiroth and corner him. Tidus stood in front of the man, hitting him with several fierce attacks with the Brotherhood blade. Sephiroth managed to deflect a good number of blows, but not all of them, which made Tidus hopeful that he could win this fight.

"No, don't," Tidus grunted, swinging at his enemy once again. "Cloud needs to do this on his own." Zidane and Bartz glanced at each other, but silently obeyed Tidus' request. After all, Tidus knew Cloud a lot better than they did. Perhaps he had a plan.

Tidus cursed as Sephiroth punctured his arm once again, and a new trail of blood began to run down his forearm. Zidane took that chance to give Sephiroth a good slice in the back. Bartz glanced back over at Cloud, and tried to keep his worries at bay.

Cloud was being encircled by the four manikins. He quickly closed his eyes and rushed to cast a fire spell at the first Aerith manikin he had attacked. With a loud shriek, she shattered, and the pieces disappeared before they had even reached the ground. Cloud pressed his lips hard together, and fought to keep his emotions buried deep within him. These weren't his friends; they were manikins. He kept telling himself that, but the feelings of heartache, and sorrow, and hopelessness refused to go away.

"Aerith..." he tried to whisper, though it came out sounding more like a sob. "I'm sorry." Cloud could feel Bartz watching him, and he met his friend's gaze only for a second or two before he focused on the manikins in front of him once again.

"Tidus, get him now!" Zidane shouted, as he launched himself up onto Sephiroth's back in an attempt to knock the man off balance. He wrapped an arm around Sephiroth's neck, and drove a hard punch into the side of the man's head, but he was thrown backward onto the ground when an enormous, black wing sprouted from Sephiroth's right shoulder blade.

Zidane groaned as he landed on his backside, then he shook his head and gazed up at the newly revealed wing, flapping gently in the warm breeze. Tidus and Bartz stood awestruck for a minute, then prepared themselves for an even more intense fight. Bartz quickly summoned a bow, and released a slew of arrows at Sephiroth's chest. Only one managed to penetrate the skin. Tidus jumped into action once more. With a slick dive, he was able to kick one of Sephiroth's feet out from under him, but the one-winged angel simply took flight. He hovered a couple of feet above the ground, and Bartz launched a few more arrows at him. Unfortunately, his attacks were blocked.

"C'mon, you coward! Hurry up and fight!" Tidus yelled from behind, readying the Brotherhood once more for a new slew of attacks.

"I expected far better from the lot of you," Sephiroth smirked, as he gracefully floated back down to the ground. Zidane hurried to his feet once more, but Sephiroth spun on his heel and drove his fist into Zidane's stomach. Zidane let out a sickening noise—one that sounded like he was about to vomit—as he landed on his back.

"Zidane!" Bartz shouted, rushing to his friend's side. He knelt on the ground, and helped Zidane sit up just in time for him to spill his insides onto the ground beside him. Bartz tried not to look at the mess that Zidane had just made beside them as he comfortingly rubbed his back.

Cloud glanced over when he heard the retching noises that Zidane was making, but he quickly regained his focus when one of the Zack manikins struck him hard on the shoulder. Cloud stifled a painful groan; he knew that hit had probably been strong enough to draw blood. Cloud swung the Buster Sword at the Zack manikin, but it managed to block his attacks. Cloud could feel the warm crimson liquid beginning to trickle down the front of his shirt, and down his arm. He backed up a few steps, and closed his eyes as he brought his fist up in the air. He uttered a few quiet words before thrusting his arm out in front of him.

"Fira!" he shouted, engulfing the Zack manikin in flames. He closed his eyes again when he heard the manikin shatter like the first one. He couldn't watch Zack die again, real or not. Once he was sure the first Zack manikin was gone for good, he opened his eyes and backed away a few more steps as the remaining two manikins waltzed toward him.

Cloud's attention was caught in an instant when he heard Tidus release a loud cry. He swivelled around to look in the direction of the other fight, and his stomach felt like it might fall right out of him when he saw what had happened. From where he stood, he could see Tidus and Sephiroth side-on. Tidus was on the ground, crouched over, motionless. His head was hung low, his sword dangling limply from one hand while the other clutched his chest. Sephiroth's long masamune was through his chest and coming out his back. Sephiroth stared at him mercilessly, and let his blade linger there in his body as a way of savouring the moment.

"Tidus..." Cloud whispered, his throat suddenly gruff and sticky. "Tidus!"

Cloud didn't want anything more than to run to Tidus' aid, but the two manikins stood in his way. Cloud fought against them, but they pushed him back, and his knees eventually gave out beneath him. Just looking at Tidus on the end of that blade... it made him weak.

Bartz and Zidane stared wide-eyed at the sight before them, their expressions shocked, their hearts pounding. There was no way Tidus was going to be okay after an attack like that. Sephiroth turned his head toward Cloud, and his sick smile returned to his face.

"When will you learn, Cloud? Your suffering will never end, so long as you have people you care about," he taunted. Cloud gasped when he saw Tidus bolt upright. Tidus lifted his right arm up, away from Sephiroth's blade. With a shove, he was able to send Sephiroth onto his back.

"Hey, Sephiroth!" Tidus shouted. He lifted his arms up, and Cloud realized from the lack of blood that Tidus hadn't been impaled by Sephiroth's giant weapon. He'd just kept it tucked under his arm, faking it the whole time. Cloud had always pegged Tidus as a bit of a prankster, but this? Brilliant.

"You really need to work on your aim!" Tidus grinned, as he thrust his sword through Sephiroth's partially exposed chest. Sephiroth coughed once, and his eyes became frightfully still as he stumbled backwards. Tidus dug his sword in a little deeper, and purple smoke began to swirl around his enemy.

"How?" Sephiroth choked out, a trickle of blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth. Tidus' own mouth curved upwards only slightly, but his eyes held a real smile—a proud and honest one.

"Because Cloud _has_ changed. He knows he doesn't have to fight alone anymore," Tidus explained, knowing that every word was true to the core. Cloud trusted him, relied on him, and together, they could tackle what had once been impassable. Within seconds, Sephiroth evaporated into the wisps of fog, and Tidus let out a deep sigh of relief.

"You guys okay?" he asked, as he approached Bartz and Zidane who were still on the ground. Bartz gave a nod as he gave Zidane another gentle pat on the back. Tidus glanced back over to where Cloud was engaged in battle with the final manikin.

"Shouldn't you help him?" Zidane asked, weakly, his throat still stinging from having thrown up. Tidus gazed at Cloud, at his fierce battle stance as he duelled with the final manikin. There he was, face-to-face with a shadow of his deceased lover, his dear Zack, and he showed no sign of backing down. A few months ago, Cloud wouldn't have had the strength nor the courage to take down such an opponent. Now that he did, Tidus knew it was only right for him to finish this on his own.

"No," Tidus said, softly. "He's got this."

Cloud gave a brutal vertical swing, but the manikin swung back, and their swords collided with a heavy clang, resting there. Each pressed hard against their blades, but neither could manage to parry the other's attack. Cloud's eyes wandered up from his sword, and met with the manikin's blue, crystal eyes. He stared into those eyes, even when those emotionless orbs could offer him nothing. He searched that familiar, chiseled face for comfort, but found none. Maybe Cloud had finally separated manikin from memory.

Cloud released the pressure on his blade, and with one mighty swing, he struck the Zack manikin through the middle. It shrieked, and broke into pieces like the previous three, and Cloud forced himself to watch as the last of Zack's crystalline form vanished. Cloud breathed hard, and stood there for a minute, unsure of what to do next. His gaze remained on the spot where the manikin had disappeared. He waited there for a long time, just watching.

A moment passed, and he heard quiet footsteps behind him. A hand reached his shoulder, but he continued to stare at the empty space on the ground. He could feel Tidus' fingers caressing his tender skin where the manikin had so cruelly wounded him, but still, he couldn't face his partner. Not yet.

He had done it, finally defeated the memory that had threatened to keep him from Tidus for so long. He'd found within him the strength to fight the fiends that dared to take his friends' faces. That strength had been a long time coming.

Cloud felt his eyes turn to slits as tears tried to escape from under his lids, and he raised a hand to his mouth to try and hide his emotions. He didn't know why he even bothered to try.

"Cloud?" Tidus murmured. Finally, Cloud tore his gaze away from that damned spot as he felt Tidus' hand on him, gently coaxing him to turn away. Cloud held in a sob, and turned to face Tidus. He was wrapped in an embrace without even having to ask.

"I know," Tidus whispered, as Cloud nuzzled his face in against his hair. "I know this was hard on you." Cloud was thankful he didn't have to explain.

Tidus felt Cloud's hand slowly make its way up to his chest, almost as if he were nervous to do so, then Cloud gently clutched the material of Tidus' shirt. Tidus knew Cloud wanted to cry, and he definitely wouldn't have minded if he did, but he was also proud of the way Cloud was trying to be so strong. Tidus pulled him in a little tighter, wanting to give him that extra ounce of comfort. Tidus went to close his eyes, but he was distracted when a green orb floated down behind Cloud's back.

"Huh? Cloud, look," he gently urged.

"What is it?" Cloud asked, though his voice was so melancholy that Tidus doubted he cared.

"Just look." Cloud reluctantly pulled his head away from Tidus' hair, and turned his head to see what Tidus was looking at. The orb stopped descending when it reached Cloud's eye-level, and hovered there. Cloud gently broke free of Tidus' embrace.

"Is that—?" he started, but he couldn't get the word out.

"Your crystal? Kinda looks that way, doesn't it?" Tidus said, smiling softly.

"But... I don't understand. I wasn't even the one to defeat Sephiroth," Cloud said, weakly, blinking in confusion.

"No, but you beat those manikins, didn't you?" Tidus reminded him. Cloud was silent for a moment, his eyes on that green, materia-shaped crystal that he didn't feel he deserved. He wanted to reach out for it, but didn't feel he could do so with a feeling of satisfaction.

"What's wrong?" Tidus eventually asked, a small frown appearing on his face as his partner continued to stand there, unmoving.

"I just don't understand," Cloud repeated. Tidus sighed and took a step forward so he could stand alongside Cloud. He reached out a hand and let it hover just below the crystal, as if supporting it.

"The last time you encountered a manikin like that... a manikin of Zack, you were falling apart at the seams."

"Tidus," Cloud whimpered, struggling against emotions that fought to break free. "I'm _still_ falling apart at the seams."

"No, you're not," Tidus replied, shaking his head. "You're a lot stronger now. Back then, you wouldn't have been able to fight against anything that took Zack's form, but you've been able to move on," Tidus smiled. He gently batted the crystal in Cloud's direction, and it drifted a little closer to its owner before slowing and hovering at a stand-still.

"Take it. You've earned it."

Cloud glanced at Tidus, who gave him an encouraging smile, then with brave hands, he reached out and gathered the crystal out of the air. He brought it in close, and held it against his chest. He stared down at its bright green glow.

"The last time Sephiroth showed up, I remember, you and I had had some sort of argument, and I went off by myself. I know I was mourning over Zack when Sephiroth arrived," Cloud finally spoke up. Tidus knew there must be more to the story, so he kept quiet, and waited until Cloud was ready to go on.

"I think you're right. Back then, I wasn't ready to move on. I don't think I would have been able to take down those manikins if Sephiroth had brought them out the first time around," Cloud continued. He dropped one hand down by his side, and searched for Tidus' fingers. When he found them, he laced them in between his own. He didn't have to look to know the action had brought a smile to Tidus' face.

"What Cosmos wanted... It wasn't about Sephiroth, was it? It was about the past," Cloud said, though he sounded uncertain as he met Tidus' gaze.

"It seems that way," Tidus nodded.

"And you knew that, didn't you? That's why you sent me to fight those manikins on my own?"

"Well, I didn't _know_. I _suspected_ that was the case since you'd already fought Sephiroth once and didn't get your crystal. And I remembered what Cosmos told me. She said hatred alone will never yield the crystal, and that helped me figure out how to get my own crystal and beat my old man," Tidus explained. Cloud lowered his head, questioning him and silently encouraging him to continue. After all, he'd had a bit of a hard time getting Tidus to talk about that battle before. He certainly wanted to take advantage of this chance to hear about it.

"I realized I couldn't just hate him. I had to use more than just that. But when I thought about you and Sephiroth, I knew all you felt for him was hate. But the manikins... defeating them was different."

"It took a strong will. Like Cosmos said to me. And you knew," Cloud said, in complete disbelief. "I can't believe you knew."

"Suspected," Tidus corrected him with a tiny grin.

"Man, you mean Tidus was smart for once?" came Bartz's teasing voice from behind them. They turned to watch as Zidane and Bartz approached, and a weak smile reached even Cloud's stoic lips.

"What do you mean, for once?" Tidus whined, sticking a tongue out at Bartz. Bartz laughed, before moving in to give Cloud a pat on the back.

"Good job, Cloud. You got your crystal, huh?" he smiled.

"Guess so," Cloud nodded. He unlocked his fingers from within Tidus', and carefully lowered his crystal into his pocket.

"How are you feeling, Zidane?" Cloud asked. Zidane shrugged.

"Oh, you know. I'd be a lot better if I didn't have the lingering taste of bile in my mouth, but, hey. I'll live," he said, giving Cloud a brief smile.

"It's been quite the day, huh?" Bartz sighed. "What do you say we call it a night?"

"Fine with me. I know I'm usually the one with all the energy, but right now..." Tidus trailed off.

"Yeah," Cloud agreed, with a light smile. "We could all use some rest."

"Oh, good!" Zidane practically shouted, flopping onto his back into the soft grass. Bartz immediately knelt down beside him, and glanced back up at his friends.

"Do you think Kefka'll be around?" he asked.

"If he is, we've got a brand new crystal-bearing Cloud that he'd better watch out for!" Tidus proudly beamed. Cloud smiled as he felt Tidus' hand link with his once more. A weight had been lifted, and Cloud was just beginning to feel its effects. Letting go, even that little bit more, made smiling just a little bit easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And just like Zack, Cloud became a hero in his own way! I love it when Cloud gets his crystal. It makes me happy. Anyway, sorry for the long delay. Things got busy over the holidays, and then I took some time for much needed relaxation. Thanks to those who showed support for this story while I was gone!
> 
> With this story, I try hard to keep a balance between adventure/romance/fluff/sex/etc., and although there haven't been a lot of sensual scenes so far, they will increase as of the next chapter, so I thought I'd give a heads-up. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but hopefully it won't deter anyone from seeing the adventure through to the end.
> 
> I have to say, it's pretty exciting to get to chapters like this one where you realize that Cloud and Tidus really have gained a lot of trust in each other. Just like they do in the story, I think back to the early chapters where Cloud tried to keep his distance, and admire the work they've done to get this far. I love it when Tidus convinces Cloud he's earned his crystal. I think that moment's so sweet. Hope you all enjoyed it, too! Happy New Year to all!


	31. Drowning

**Chapter 31: Drowning**

The troops had never been so eager to get to sleep. They hadn't even bothered to set up their tents, as exhaustion had taken its toll on them by late afternoon. Instead, they simply collapsed on top of their bedrolls, which they'd tucked under the shade of the nearby trees. The air alone was warm enough to keep them comfortable. Tidus had no fear whatsoever of getting cold, as the minute Bartz and Zidane had fallen asleep, Cloud had curled up by his side. One timid hand slid up to rest on Tidus' chest while Cloud lay his head sleepily against Tidus' shoulder.

Tidus gazed down at him now, taking in his sleeping face, his relaxed mouth, and lightly shut lids. He couldn't shake the feeling of pride that had taken hold of him that moment when he'd watched Cloud take his crystal into his own hands, and accept that he held within him the strength needed to obtain it. Cloud had grown over the past few months—stronger, wiser, more open, and Tidus was proud to have been able to watch him go through those changes on this journey. Cloud had proven himself today, and that soft smile he wore as he slept was evidence of that. Tidus gave Cloud a squeeze in his arms, enjoying the closeness and wanting so badly to smile, but at the moment, even Cloud's warmth couldn't ease Tidus' troubled mind. It wasn't like him to worry, but with the final battle growing closer and closer, he found it hard to sit still.

After the events of the day, the battle ahead had become even more of a growing concern, and Tidus got butterflies in his stomach every time he thought about it. First, there was Squall. They had lost another ally today, and Tidus hoped it wasn't a sign of what was still to come. It was likely—given what had happened with Cecil and Cloud when they had experienced defeat—that Cosmos would be able to revive Squall, but there was no guarantee that he would get his memories back before the fight. Time certainly didn't seem to be on their side in that regard, and no way could he fight without a full recovery, both mentally and physically. It had taken a while for Cloud to feel like himself again after he'd been brought back. If Squall wasn't able to fight alongside them, their chances of winning would decrease. Even if only a little, it still counted in battle, and having the odds in Chaos' favour definitely wasn't a good way to start out.

Then, there was Cecil. The idea of fighting Cecil, a trusted and respected companion they had failed to save, made him sick. Tidus was usually pretty good at telling right from wrong, but after Cecil had been revived and converted to a warrior of Chaos, those lines had begun to blur. It didn't feel right to fight him as if he were just another Chaos warrior. Tidus remained hopeful that there might be a chance of returning Cecil to Cosmos' side, and wanted to be strong enough to make it happen. Quite honestly, though, Tidus was scared. He didn't want to be forced into a situation where killing Cecil was necessary, and he knew there was no way of determining his options until he was in the midst of the battle.

As if those concerns weren't enough, Tidus' fears only multiplied when he started to think about Cloud. The possibility that they might never see each other again after the battle still loomed over Tidus like a shadow he couldn't escape from—and that was _if_ they were even able to win that fight. The fear ate away at him. It took each happy memory of his and Cloud's time together, and surrounded it with a black fog, one that dampened each memory with a dreary darkness. If the time and effort Tidus had put into fostering such a beautiful bond with Cloud turned out to be for nothing, he didn't know how he would cope. Tidus forced himself to take a deep breath, and he glanced down at the man sleeping peacefully under the warmth of his arm. _No_ , he immediately told himself. _It would never be for nothing_.

Tidus breathed in again and tightened his arm around Cloud. Cloud gave a small, sleepy sigh, and Tidus watched as a tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Perhaps Cloud was dreaming a peaceful dream for once. Or maybe he just liked the feel of Tidus' warm arm around him, even in unconsciousness. A soft smile made its way to Tidus' mouth, too, but it quickly dwindled as his worries fought against it. There was still one thing bothering him, and that was whatever was to come before the last battle.

It wasn't like it hadn't crossed his mind before. He'd always imagined the eve of the final battle as an emotional one, and he was sure that wasn't about to change, but just how emotional, Tidus wasn't sure. If the possibility of being separated was as big a fear to Cloud as it was to him, then certainly, Cloud must have thought about it being their last chance for intimacy. The last time Tidus had asked him for it, Cloud had said no, and that made Tidus reluctant to even bring it up again. But he wanted so badly to share that act with Cloud, to know Cloud on that level, but to do so on the eve of battle seemed so... sad.

It seemed like the perfect way to end their mission here, and yet, somewhere deep within him, Tidus felt it was wrong somehow. He wondered, was it wrong to enjoy their last moments here while everyone else was struggling with the weight of the upcoming battle? Would he and Cloud regret not putting it off 'til later? He couldn't pinpoint the reason why, but there was definitely something wrong with that picture, like they would be selling themselves short somehow. That inexplicable feeling only weighed him down even more.

With a sigh, Tidus carefully untangled his limbs from Cloud's body and got to his feet. He felt a little guilty when Cloud gave a small shiver, but Tidus knew he had to leave him yearning for his warmth, even if only for a minute. He needed to clear his mind.

Tidus held his hands high above his head and stretched, hoping it might settle his thoughts, which were darting back and forth in his skull like boomerangs. The stretch didn't help much. He eventually let his arms tumble back down to his sides, and he took a few steps forward. With a yawn, he gazed up at the sun, so bright, so orange and full. By the look of the sky, the moon would be arriving soon to relieve the sun of its duty.

The sight stirred up a familiar memory, and Tidus' thoughts travelled back to that evening with Yuna in Mi'ihen, when they'd talked about Sin and watched the sunset. It wasn't long before he found himself missing Spira. What he'd told Cloud was true. He'd never really thought of Spira as home, but it was certainly the place he'd always thought about going back to when the war was over. If Cosmos could, however, send him and Cloud to the same place, then he would have to say goodbye to Spira as well. Normally, it wouldn't have bothered him much, but under the circumstances, it was just one too many problems in a pile of doubts.

Tidus glanced behind him when he heard one of his companions stirring. Bartz was still a-snooze, curled up into a ball, while Zidane snored loudly beside him, his limbs spread out in all directions as he lay on his back. Tidus was a bit relieved when he saw that Cloud was the only one who had awoken. His stomach flipped when he saw Cloud's expression; he was staring up at him with downward-curled lips, concern in his glowing eyes.

"You alright?" he asked, sitting up on his now wrinkled sleeping bag. Tidus turned to face him, and his hand travelled nervously into his hair.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he fibbed. He felt another jolt from his lack of honesty, but he didn't want to ruin what had been such a special night for Cloud; Cloud was probably still bathing in the afterglow of obtaining his crystal, after all. Tidus didn't want that joy, even as small as it was, to disappear.

"What's on your mind?" Cloud tried again, easily recognizing that Tidus was bothered by something, and not hiding it very well. He patted Tidus' sleeping bag, gently coaxing Tidus to join him, and he eventually gave in.

Tidus joined Cloud on the ground, and sat there on his bedroll for a long moment, hugging his knees, while Cloud's watchful gaze rested on him.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Not really. Not with the sun still flickering in my eyes," Tidus said, with a lopsided smile. Cloud frowned.

"Are you sure Sephiroth didn't hurt you earlier? Your arm? Chest? Anything?" Cloud asked, scanning his loved one for injuries, and silently hoping that pain wasn't the actual culprit behind Tidus' interrupted sleep. There was a small rip under the arm of Tidus' shirt where Sephiroth's masamune had been—thankfully missing its intended target—and his skin was sprinkled with a few cuts that he had cleaned up earlier in the day.

"A few scratches, but nothin' that'll slow me down, he assured Cloud with a thumbs-up.

"You're positive?" Cloud asked, head tilting sideways in question.

"Absolutely."

Cloud nodded, giving up what seemed to be a fruitless discussion, and turned his attention back to the radiant sunset, but Tidus still didn't think he looked settled.

"What is it?" he asked, nudging Cloud's elbow gently. Cloud gave a brief glance in Tidus' direction, then shook his head.

"Just be honest. Are you worried about the final battle?" Cloud asked, and suddenly, Tidus didn't seem able to speak. After a minute, the younger man shook his head.

"I don't know. There's just a lot going on in here tonight," he sighed, pointing to his temple.

Now, it was Cloud's turn to pull Tidus in against him. An arm wrapped around Tidus' shoulders, and he was tugged in closer to Cloud's body. They each leaned their heads sideways, resting together.

"That's new," Cloud finally replied, so casually that Tidus hardly noticed he was making a joke.

"Yeah, I— Wait, hey!" he frowned when he clued in. Cloud smirked a little. So, he _was_ still in a good mood. Tidus gave Cloud a playful shove, ending their brief cuddling session.

"I'm tryin' to tell you something here," Tidus laughed, appreciating Cloud's efforts to cheer him up.

"I'm sorry," Cloud replied, shaking his head, apologetically. "I was only trying to—"

"I know," Tidus smiled, genuinely, and Cloud smiled gently back.

"So, what is it? What's bothering you?" Cloud inquired again, his tone falling into a more serious one.

Cloud tucked his knees up to his chest as well, and linked his hands loosely around his legs. He glanced to the side, trying to identify whatever was causing Tidus' abnormally solemn expression. When he couldn't figure it out, he let his gaze fall to rest on the ground below his feet. Tidus was silent for another moment before speaking.

"Actually... a lot of things."

"Well," Cloud said, giving a soft smile as he glanced at the sun above them, vanishing on the horizon. "We've got lots of time."

Tidus relaxed a little, knowing Cloud was willing to listen. He gave another sigh before speaking again.

"Cloud, can I ask you something that... might be kinda personal?" Tidus' gaze flickered over to briefly meet his partner's. Cloud swallowed and prepared himself for the worst, but he wanted to help put Tidus' worries to rest, even if it meant discussing things he might rather leave unsaid.

"Of course. What is it?"

"I know that you'll understand, because I know you've been through the same. Worse, even."

"Yeah?" Cloud asked gently, ducking his head to catch Tidus' nervous gaze. Tidus bit his lip, but Cloud's patient eyes restored his courage.

"When you killed those manikins of Zack and Aerith," Tidus trailed off for a moment. "How awful was it?" Cloud let out a heavy sigh, and Tidus was able to silently count to thirty before Cloud spoke again.

"I don't know if there are words to describe it," Cloud admitted, his lips curling into a hard, downward curve as he met Tidus' eyes. Tidus shivered as he tore his gaze away, and stared down at his boots.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to fight Cecil. It just feels so wrong. And I know, everyone must be sick of hearing me complain about it all the time, but... I just can't let it go." Cloud was silent for a moment, and Tidus was sort of afraid to know what he was thinking.

"You... do understand, don't you?" he asked, frowning with uncertainty.

"Yeah, I do," Cloud nodded. "You know I do. Listen, Tidus, I know, it's a complicated situation, but if it comes down to it, we can make sure someone else fights Cecil. The burden doesn't have to fall on you." Silence struck again as Tidus absorbed Cloud's encouraging words.

"I'm just so sick of feeling this way," Tidus whispered, leaning his head back to stare at the stars. After a minute, he turned to Cloud again.

"Does it... ever get better?" he asked. Cloud was quiet at first, thinking it over, but he knew Tidus. Yes, Tidus had a big heart, and wanted the absolute best for all of his friends, but he also had the ability to bounce back from even the worst circumstances. After a minute, Cloud nodded.

"For you, I think it will because of how you deal with things. For me... Well, it was more difficult for me." Cloud let his head hang low as he came to the end of his sentence. A warm breeze filled the break in conversation, and when it ended, Tidus was more than a little surprised that Cloud continued to speak.

"After I lost Zack, I was alone. At the time, there was no one I could talk to about what happened. Even if there had been someone, I'm not sure I would have opened up. I didn't want anyone to know that I blamed myself. Then, the first time I was faced with that manikin of Zack... He kept telling me that everything was going to be okay, and I wanted so badly to believe him. I wanted to know that _he_ was okay."

"Yeah?" Tidus asked, swallowing hard. It was strange to hear Cloud talking so openly and so easily about things that he usually kept tucked so far inside himself. Tidus' curious eyes stared into Cloud's, searching deep within them for more pieces of the story.

"I know it's not exactly like our situation with Cecil, but I know you're worried about his safety, and your loyalty to him, just like I was with Zack."

"Yeah, that's right," Tidus said, impressed that Cloud had put all those pieces together. Tidus hugged his knees a little tighter. "So, you do understand."

"I do. And, Tidus?" Cloud spoke up again, catching Tidus' attention. "You're not alone. You'll get through this," Cloud assured him, the small, sincere smile on his face calming the tiniest of Tidus' frayed nerves.

Tidus smiled, and tried to confine his remaining concerns in the back of his mind, but instead they travelled directly to his stomach, making him feel sick. Cloud noticed immediately when Tidus' smile fell short.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Cloud asked, gently, but was distracted when Zidane cleared his throat loudly. He and Tidus turned to look at their friend, who, from the look on his sleepy face, was slightly displeased with them.

"Sorry to interrupt you lovebirds, but can you have your heart-to-heart somewhere else? I wanna get a few more hours of shut-eye," Zidane whispered, rolling away from them to face Bartz.

His tail danced in the air for a moment before falling gently back down to the ground and curling up against his back. Tidus and Cloud exchanged amused glances, then Cloud sighed, and rose to his feet. He turned and offered Tidus a hand.

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Yeah, okay. Wouldn't wanna wake ol' grumpy pants again," Tidus smirked, though the attempt at humour only made him feel sicker.

"I heard that," Zidane mumbled, sleepily. Cloud stifled a chuckle, and with a hand on Tidus' shoulder, gently guided him away from the campsite.

"Do you think we'll need our weapons?" Tidus asked, glancing back. Cloud shook his head.

"Let's take a chance, and hope we don't."

* * *

The forest looked different shadowed in the grey evening light. They passed the spot where they'd fought Sephiroth and the manikins, and walked past the gate where they had entered the forest, but everything felt so much calmer now. The danger was gone. The bright, beating sun was hidden for now. They walked, quietly, and leisurely, as the frogs peeped around them. Tidus brushed his hand against Cloud's, and was thankful when Cloud pulled it into his own.

Tidus found it strange to be the one seeking comfort, but it was nice to be on the receiving end for a change, especially since Cloud had become so good at trying to soothe him. Tidus liked seeing that softer side of Cloud, that deep, genuine kindness that he only ever saw Cloud display when they were alone—the kindness that involved a softer voice and more endearing eyes than he used with anyone else. Thinking about that, those emotions that Cloud reserved only for him, filled Tidus' insides with a strange feeling of anxiety, but this feeling was good. It eased that nauseating worry just a little bit.

After passing what was probably about a hundred or more trees—Tidus had been counting them out loud for a while as a distraction—they came to a small pond, surrounded by cattails. Tidus smiled as they approached, and he squeezed Cloud's hand as he leaned forward to peer over the tall plants. Water lilies rested on the perfectly still pond. Each white flower was dotted with a yellow centre, bright enough to be seen even in the darkness. A smile reached Cloud's face as Tidus continued to peek around the cattails.

"What are you doing? You're not going to swim in there, are you?" Cloud smirked.

"No way," Tidus laughed. "There's hardly enough water in there to hold me up! No, I'm looking for frogs."

"Oh." Cloud felt Tidus' hand twitch within his grasp, and Tidus' eyes met Cloud's own, as if seeking his permission to let go.

"It's okay," Cloud smiled, loosening his hold on Tidus' hand so Tidus could break free.

Cloud watched as Tidus tackled the slight decline to the pond with careful steps. Tidus knelt down at the water's edge, and cupped his hands before resting them in the grass. A little brown toad sat croaking just a few inches away from Tidus' fingertips. Tidus waited, motionlessly and patiently, hoping the little guy might just hop into his palm. Instead, the creature hopped in the opposite direction.

"Did you get one?" Cloud asked, raising a brow. He stood on his toes to try and get a better look over the cattails.

"Nah, he jumped," Tidus answered.

Cloud smiled again. He was sure that if Zack had been here, he would have been doing the same thing. He'd had the same spark of enthusiasm that made even the little things in life into an adventure. Cloud admired that about both Zack and Tidus, but right now, it seemed some of that happy-go-lucky personality that Cloud loved so much about Tidus was missing, shrouded in sadness, and Cloud only wished he knew why.

Seeing Tidus so down, having Tidus try so hard not to bring him down with him... it made Cloud hurt. He wanted to help, but he wasn't sure how he could when Tidus wanted to keep pretending everything was okay. It didn't matter. Cloud wouldn't stand by and watch him suffer in silence.

Tidus crouched, and shimmied forward a few steps before lowering his hands to the grass for a second attempt. He repeated this a few more times, but all of his attempts to capture his toady friend failed. Had he been in his usual, energetic state of mind, he probably would have had no problem capturing one of the little creatures, but tonight, he just didn't have it in him. Finally, he got to his feet and walked back to join Cloud on much less soggy land.

"No luck?"

"No luck. Oh well," Tidus grinned, but Cloud could tell that grin was strained. Tidus still wasn't himself, and that was enough to concern Cloud. As Tidus moved to stand alongside his friend again, he could see the disquietude on Cloud's face.

"Tidus, are you okay?" Cloud frowned. "You don't seem yourself."

"I'm okay," Tidus nodded. "I'm just a little stressed out, is all," he finished, as he headed for the willow tree that stood just a few feet away.

Cloud moved faster than he did, and stopped Tidus in his tracks just before he reached the tree. Tidus raised his brows as Cloud stood there in front of him. Cloud's steady gaze met Tidus' nervous one.

"Tidus, we're gonna be okay in the final fight. You're the one who taught me that confidence can bring us to victory," Cloud told him with a sincere smile.

"Thanks, Cloud," Tidus barely whispered, breaking eye contact. His head dropped. "But it's not just about the fight."

"Then, what? I don't understand," Cloud replied, shaking his head slightly. He raised a hand and let it fall gently on Tidus' shoulder, but he felt Tidus grow tense under his touch.

"Mostly, it comes down to... us. I'm worried about what's going to happen to _us_ ," Tidus told him.

"And I know I shouldn't be. All along, I kept thinking things would have to work out in the end, but... what if they don't? How do we know that everything will be okay?" Tidus went on.

Cloud's heart ached. Those fears were the same ones that plagued his own mind, but it was Tidus' optimism that had always kept him believing they would be together at the end of this journey. If Tidus was, however, afraid now, too, then who would keep those hopes alive? Was it now Cloud's job to settle his partner's frayed nerves?

Tidus' brows curled up in distress, but that expression softened a little when he felt Cloud's hand travel from his shoulder to the base of his neck. It lingered there for a minute, then slid down to rest on his partially exposed chest. Cloud was startled by the strong pulse under his fingertips.

"Tidus, your heart..." he started, his surprised gaze darting from Tidus' chest to his eyes.

"I know, it's pounding," Tidus uttered, his voice suddenly shaking.

"Hey, it's okay," Cloud whispered.

Hoping to distract his partner, Cloud clutched Tidus' collar tightly, and hauled him in for an unexpectedly rough, yet passionate, kiss. Cloud's sudden fierceness caught Tidus off guard, and it took him a second to recover and settle into the affectionate gesture. That first kiss ended too soon, but they quickly dove in for another, and another, when the first few didn't seem to be enough. And as Cloud's hand slipped from his collar into the front of his shirt, Tidus wanted nothing more than to give Cloud the same amount of satisfaction.

Tidus' hands were on Cloud's shoulders in a second, and Cloud groaned a little as Tidus pushed him up against the tree. Their lips remained locked, and Cloud knew from the way Tidus was biting on his bottom lip that he wouldn't have the will, nor the power, to deny Tidus the entry he was so desperately seeking. Cloud didn't even attempt to resist; in fact, his mouth was watering already, just waiting for Tidus' salty tongue to invade. He whimpered as that fantasy came true.

Both of Cloud's hands wandered into the front of Tidus' shirt. Oh, how those hands roamed, and warmed the bronzed skin that hid beneath that pesky material. Cloud was pleased with himself when his caresses induced a throaty noise from his partner. His victory was short-lived, however, as Tidus' hands slid from his shoulders down to his waist, and Cloud had to try his very hardest to keep his hips still. Tidus withdrew his tongue from Cloud's mouth, and moved his lips to Cloud's neck instead. One of Cloud's hands travelled to the material of Tidus' collar once more, and he gripped it tightly as Tidus suckled at his skin.

"Tidus..." Cloud mewled.

"You know, this is only making my heart pound harder," Tidus murmured.

"I know, but it's a better reason for it, right?" Cloud asked, somehow managing a smirk. Tidus hummed a response, and Cloud closed his eyes as Tidus ran his tongue along the side of his neck. He wished the collar of Cloud's shirt didn't cover so much skin; it was irritating. He was doubtful, however, that Cloud would let him undress him in the middle of the forest, with no shelter whatsoever to hide them from prying eyes. But then again, if Cloud was worried about being seen, would he have initiated the first needy kiss?

Tidus was distracted from his thoughts as he felt Cloud's hands on top of his own. At first, he thought Cloud was trying to remove them from his hips, but quickly realized that Cloud was merely trying to rid him of his gloves. Tidus continued his work on Cloud's neck as he allowed Cloud to tug his right hand free. He smiled as his glove fell into the grass. He soon felt the gauntlet on his other hand come free, and it clattered to the ground. Tidus hoped he was reading Cloud's signs right as he dared to continue on.

Gently, Tidus rid Cloud of his metal pauldron, and pushed Cloud's suspenders over the tops of his cool, pale shoulders. Cloud shivered as Tidus' warm fingertips grazed his skin, and he momentarily let go of Tidus' collar so his arms could be freed of the leather straps. With a few quick motions—and without having to even look, which made Tidus quite proud of himself—Tidus undid Cloud's belt, and it fell to rest on the ground with his gloves. Finally, Tidus was able to trail a newly exposed hand along the front hem of Cloud's shirt, before slipping it inside. The sigh that emerged from Cloud's mouth sounded like one of relief. Tidus withdrew his head from Cloud's neck, and met Cloud's eyes. Tidus' breath got caught in his lungs for a moment. He didn't know if he'd ever seen Cloud looking so radiant.

Cloud's hair was shimmering so brightly in the moonlight that it almost looked like strands of white gold. His cheeks were dusted with the smallest amount of pink from the pleasure that Tidus was bringing him, and he was breathing just a little heavier than usual from their heated moment. But what stood out the most were those mako blue eyes, which were staring into Tidus like never before. They looked into him, into his heart, into his mind and soul. They saw him, every desire, every emotion. And from looking into those eyes, Tidus knew that Cloud was searching for the same thing: to indulge in every last second they had together. Their eyes spoke to each other so loudly in that moment. It didn't matter where they were. It didn't matter what the future held for them. They were together _now_. They had to make the most of it.

Mouths met again in silent agreement. Eyelids fell softly closed as lips gave and received caresses that were much gentler than the first ones. Cloud leaned into Tidus' touch as those sun-kissed fingers trailed up and down his fair skin, still hidden beneath his shirt. Tidus was relieved when he felt Cloud ridding him of his pauldron, and the sound of it hitting the ground was like music to his ears. Finally, all that pesky armour was gone, but the undressing didn't stop there.

Tidus tried to keep his breathing steady as he and Cloud continued to kiss, but he was becoming antsy as he felt Cloud undoing his suspenders. After a few seconds, they fell from his shoulders and hung down behind him. Hands travelled to Tidus' chest once more, and Cloud tugged his shirt open. Within seconds, Cloud had slipped Tidus' arms through the sleeves, and the yellow garment fell into the pile of discarded items.

Tidus let his hand fall from inside Cloud's shirt, and they paused a moment to stare at each other once more. Cloud released a small smile when he saw Tidus' gaze flutter down to his shirt, then back up. Tidus' eyes widened a little as he realized he'd been caught.

"Go ahead," Cloud said, gently. "I don't mind."

Tidus gave a small, embarrassed smile before his hands wandered up to the hem of Cloud's shirt. Carefully, Tidus pulled the garment up over Cloud's head and tossed it aside. Cloud's arms slowly drifted down from their position above his head, and they came to rest around Tidus' shoulders. Cloud leaned his head forward to meet his partner in another kiss, this one quite tender, but he still felt Tidus push him a little harder against the tree. One of Tidus' hands returned to his waist, while the other ran along the side of his bare torso. Cloud broke the kiss and moved his head to the side. Tidus shivered as Cloud breathed warm air against his ear. Cloud smiled at his partner's reaction.

"I love you," he whispered. He felt Tidus tremble again from the warmth.

"I love you, too," Tidus cooed. He could tell Cloud was enjoying this, teasing him the way he was. Tidus smirked. He wasn't about to let Cloud have all the fun.

"Tidus!" Cloud gasped as Tidus hoisted him up in the air. Tidus thrust a knee against the tree's trunk, and with a firm grasp on Cloud's hips, lowered Cloud back down to rest on his upper thigh. Cloud stared at him with curious eyes, but clued in when he felt Tidus pat his leg. He felt his cheeks grow warmer, but he gathered his courage, and wrapped his legs around Tidus' waist. He heard Tidus stifle a moan. Cloud clung tightly to Tidus' shoulders as Tidus stumbled a step or two closer to the tree. He managed to press Cloud's back hard enough against the trunk to keep them steady.

Cloud's head now hovered a few inches above Tidus' and he stared down into those swirling ocean eyes, breathing hard. Tidus' steady gaze managed to calm him, and they pressed their lips together once again. Cloud's heart pounded erratically as he felt Tidus' hips start to move against him, gently, back and forth. One of Tidus' hands returned to his naked stomach, and Cloud tried so hard to suppress his urge to moan—the last thing they needed was someone overhearing them—but Tidus gave one good thrust against Cloud, and there was no longer any chance of him holding it in. For the first time, Cloud released a full-fledged moan, one that made Tidus cry out in unison with him. They panted, trying to get themselves under control, and their eyes met once more. This time, they were filled with uncertainty.

"Tidus... This could be a bad idea," Cloud grunted, as Tidus continued to move against him. Too much of this, and they were well on their way to soiled clothing.

"I know, you're right."

It took all of Tidus' willpower to cease his motion. He sighed a little as Cloud unlaced his legs from around his back. Cloud wobbled a bit as his feet touched the ground again, and Tidus tried to hide a smirk. He guessed it would take a while before the effects of _that_ moment wore off. They hesitated a moment, and tuned into the sounds of the night around them. The frogs, the slight breeze. It was peaceful, but too silent. Tidus yearned for those beautiful noises of Cloud's to continue, and Cloud didn't stop him as he leaned forward again, and began trailing kisses down his front.

"Tidus, what are you—?" Cloud started, but he choked on his words as Tidus reached his destination, which was quite far south and discernibly swollen. Cloud blinked a few times as Tidus pulled away and stared up at him.

"What are you doing?" Cloud tried again, his voice hoarse.

"Wouldn't you feel better if I just...?"

"Tidus, I don't know if..."

Cloud shut his eyes as he felt Tidus' fingers at the hem of his pants, tracing their way along his waistline. Tidus stared up at his partner's expression. Those incredible aqua eyes were hidden behind tightly shut lids. Cloud's lips were pressed into a firm line. Cloud was trying to deny himself of this, but Tidus didn't know why that was necessary. It wasn't long before impulse won the battle of wills.

"Okay," Cloud finally uttered. He kept his eyes closed, but his other senses were painfully aware of what was going on. He felt Tidus undoing the top button of his pants, and heard the zipper of his fly being tugged open. Cloud pressed his hands against the tree trunk, and dug his nails in hard against it. Just the thought of Tidus finishing him off in whatever way he saw fit made him so...

Cloud's eyes flew open when he heard the clink of armour somewhere off in the distance. By the way Tidus' head had shot to the side, Cloud knew he hadn't been the only one who'd heard it. They stood deathly still for a moment, their eyes wide and steady.

"Bartz and Zidane?" Tidus asked, quietly.

"No," Cloud answered, quickly. "It was too loud. They don't have that much armour on them."

"Um, right. Should we stop?"

"Yes, we should definitely stop."

Tidus' cheeks reddened as he turned his head back toward Cloud, and redid his pants up as fast as his shaking hands would allow. Cloud wished he had just done that himself; Tidus had managed to turn him on just that little bit more.

"Hurry," Cloud coaxed him, as he knelt to the ground. He grabbed his shirt from the top of the pile, and tugged it on before beginning the search for his belt. Tidus glanced around, looking for whoever had caused the sound, but he didn't see anybody. He started to panic again, however, as he heard footsteps and armour start to ring out through the air once more.

"Cloud, we don't have any weapons. What if it's an enemy?" Tidus asked, as he crouched by the clothes pile. He collected his shirt and thrust an arm through one of the sleeves.

"I don't know," Cloud huffed. "I don't know what we'll do!"

Tidus could still see the deep red blush on Cloud's face. Obviously, embarrassment and raging hormones were making rational thinking difficult for him. Cloud looked up from the clothes pile when he heard the footsteps growing nearer. He paused for a second before letting out a heavy sigh.

"Where is that damn belt?" he muttered, returning his focus to the array of garments.

"And, man, what is up with this shirt?" Tidus frowned.

"You're putting it on upside-down," Cloud replied, with a quick glance up.

"Oh." Tidus flung the shirt back onto the ground before making a second attempt to put it on.

"Tidus, Cloud," came a man's voice. Cloud hurried to his feet and froze as Warrior of Light came into view. Tidus had only managed to get one arm into his sleeve by this point, but he gave up, letting it slide off his shoulder and back onto the ground. He tried to keep an innocent look on his face as he got to his feet.

"Hey, Warrior of Light!" Tidus grinned. "How've you been? Long time, no see!"

Cloud didn't know if he'd ever been, or _ever would be_ , more thankful for Tidus' ability to act so casually.

"It _has_ been a while." The warrior looked like he was going to say more; his mouth opened, but he stopped mid-breath as his eyes travelled to the mountain of armour on the ground.

"Oh, that. We were just, uh... Uh..." Tidus stuttered, his eyes wide as his mind failed to fill in the blank.

"Training," Cloud said quickly. Tidus glanced at him. Cloud raised a hand to his mouth, and started nervously biting his knuckle.

"Yeah, training. Man, I totally forgot the word for a second," Tidus laughed, rubbing the back of his head.

"Ah, yes," Warrior of Light smiled. Cloud let out a breath of relief. It seemed Warrior of Light didn't notice how oddly they were behaving. Lucky for them, they had never spent enough time with him to really get to know each other.

"The gate to Order's Sanctuary is about an hour's journey from here," the warrior spoke up.

"Huh? You found the gate?" Tidus asked, raising a brow.

"Yes. I already pointed Bartz and Zidane in the right direction. They said to find you two and alert you. We're all trying to make it to the Sanctuary this evening."

"This evening? Then we'd better get moving," Cloud said, quickly, rushing to gather the remaining pieces of his clothing. Warrior of Light seemed to be watching Cloud with more critical eyes this time, but Tidus just gave him a smile, and the warrior seemed to relax. Tidus knelt and gathered the rest of his belongings once Cloud had finished.

"We need to stop by Bartz and Zidane's campsite. We left our weapons and supplies there," Cloud explained.

"That won't be a problem, so long as we make haste," Warrior of Light replied, the night breeze gently tossing his silver hair around.

"We will. No sense sticking around here," Cloud said, motioning for Warrior of Light to take the lead. The warrior gave a nod, and started off in the direction of the camp. Cloud gave a long glance back at Tidus; Tidus was standing with his arms full of his armour and clothing, looking like a child awaiting punishment for some wrongdoing. Cloud just let out a sigh of relief, and managed a half-smile to let Tidus know everything was okay.

"That was close," Cloud mouthed.

"Too close," Tidus agreed. Cloud gave a nod, then started off after Warrior of Light. Tidus stood and stared after his partner for a moment. He was thankful Cloud wasn't mad at him for almost getting them caught.

"I trust you are ready for the final battle?" Warrior of Light asked, turning his head to address his companions who were tagging along behind him. Cloud heard Tidus swallow hard. Cloud's own heart raced as he dared to ask,

"So, this is it?"

"This is it," Warrior of Light replied, turning back to the path ahead. Cloud took that opportunity to glance to his right, where Tidus walked so slowly, his head hung low. Tidus didn't want Cloud to see the pain in his eyes, but he could feel Cloud's gaze reaching for his own, and reluctantly, he met it. He was relieved to see a sadness equal to his own. There was nothing to say. The end was coming, whether they were ready or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: O_o Oh yes, that is my attempt at a sexy chapter, haha. And no, your eyes are not deceiving you, I really have uploaded two chapters today! It's a bonus to make up for the long break I took in December. So, go ahead, click to the next chapter and enjoy! And thanks, readers, for all your support! So happy to see people are still reading this!


	32. Nigh

**Chapter 32: Nigh**

Walking through the gate to Order's Sanctuary was one of the hardest things Tidus and Cloud had ever had to do. It was their final destination in their mission for Cosmos. It was the harsh indication that their journey was coming to a close. And it was in that crowded place where Cloud and Tidus would have to spend what could possibly be their last hours together.

Noise greeted them as they emerged through the gate, Warrior of Light just a couple of strides ahead of them. The chatter of their companions clashed with the sounds of weapons striking one another. Tidus and Cloud glanced around to take in their surroundings. Scattered across the watery ground were their friends, many looking battered and weary. In the middle of the group, on a small pedestal, sat Cosmos, their golden-haired goddess. Her eyes were lightly closed, and her hands lay limply in her lap.

Near Cosmos floated Squall, his body bobbing lightly up and down in the air, his back to the ground. Zidane and Bartz were huddled on the watery ground near the body, worried expressions on their normally cheery faces. They sorted through their bags, trading items back and forth to prepare for the upcoming battle, but each periodically glanced up to check on their friend above them.

A few feet away from Bartz and Zidane, Firion and Kain were training, throwing attacks at one another, and effectively blocking them. Onion Knight, Terra, and Vaan were sitting in a small semi-circle, talking amongst themselves. Lightning and Laguna were having a practice duel of their own, while Tifa, Yuna, and Shantotto sat and watched them. Warrior of Light excused himself from Tidus and Cloud's presence, and made his way over to the goddess.

"Cloud!" came a female voice. Cloud turned his head just in time to see Tifa pulling him into an embrace. She closed her eyes as her head rested on Cloud's shoulder, her dark hair falling in against his arm. Cloud was startled for a second, but it didn't take long for him to settle, and return her embrace.

"I'm so glad you're alright," Tifa whispered against his shoulder. Cloud glanced at Tidus, and was relieved when Tidus gave him an amused smile. He was glad Tidus wasn't jealous; there was certainly no reason to be.

"It's good to see you safe, too, Tifa," Cloud agreed. He gave her a pat on the back, then released her from his arms. She gave him a smile before turning to Tidus and enveloping him in a hug, too. Tidus' eyes widened a little, and he saw Cloud stifling a chuckle from behind Tifa's back.

"You two managed to keep each other alive, huh?" the girl smiled, releasing Tidus after he had awkwardly returned her embrace.

"Yeah, we make a good team," Tidus said, mustering a grin, and giving a wink at Cloud. Cloud couldn't help but smile, but their happiness faded as the familiar sickly feeling returned to their stomachs. For how much longer would they be a team? Would it be only for tonight?

"Come on," Tifa smiled, taking each of their hands, and leading them over to an empty spot in the Sanctuary to sit down. They were both thankful for the distraction. Tifa allowed Tidus and Cloud to sit next to each other, then she sat herself down next to Cloud.

"So, what's been going on here?" Tidus asked, glancing over at Tifa.

"Training, mostly. And waiting for Cosmos to regain her strength. She's been meditating for a while now," Tifa explained.

"Is she okay?" Cloud asked, furrowing his brows.

"I think reviving Squall drained a lot of her power," the girl replied.

The three drew their attention to the goddess. She remained still, even as Warrior of Light knelt before her to take her hand into his own. She sat, eyes hidden beneath closed lids. The only motion that came from her was a slight sway of her head as she breathed in and out. Warrior of Light kept her hand held tightly in his palm, and his free hand came to rest on top, keeping her white skin safe and warm.

Cloud found himself yearning for Tidus' touch, and when he felt Tidus' hand twitching on the water-like floor beside him, his fingers crawling forward until they grazed Cloud's own, it became clear that Tidus was longing for him just as much. Gloved fingertips just barely met, but it had to be enough for now. There were just too many eyes around that might catch them, and they'd already had a close enough call for one day. They weren't sure either whether their friends would appreciate them displaying their affections at a time like this, when danger was on the horizon and the end was near.

Tidus watched as Shantotto scampered over to where Vaan and the others were sitting, and Yuna rose to her feet, after having been left alone. She noticed Tidus' gaze on her, and she lowered her head, looking a little ashamed, but Tidus gave her a soft smile, and her cheery eyes lit up once more. She bravely took a few steps toward Tidus' group.

"Would you mind if I joined you?" she asked, hands folded in front of her waist.

"Not at all," Tidus smiled. Yuna's gaze flickered over Cloud and Tifa, who both nodded their approval, making her feel at ease as she sat down beside Tidus.

"How are you holding up?" Tidus asked.

"Well, I'm alright," Yuna smiled. "But I'm worried about some of the others. So many of them... are beside themselves with fear, and sadness, and pain," Yuna continued slowly, emphasizing each of those last few words. Her gaze wandered first to Bartz and Zidane, their gazes so very solemn. Then she looked at Lightning, her expression so fierce as she fought Laguna, it was as if this battle was the real thing.

"Everyone does seem pretty on edge, don't they?" Cloud acknowledged. Yuna nodded.

"It's understandable," Tifa spoke up, her eyes wandering to Onion Knight, Terra, and Vaan. Vaan seemed to be telling a joke of some sort, and when he broke out in laughter, the other two could barely manage a grin. "The battle ahead won't be easy. It's not just Chaos we'll be fighting. It's also his warriors. And the manikins," Tifa went on, her voice becoming more strained with each sentence. Tidus felt Cloud's hand inch a little closer to his own.

"Luck is not on our side, is it?" Cloud mumbled.

"You mustn't say that," Yuna said, shaking her head so that her brown hair whipped back and forth. "I believe we can win. We _all_ have to believe that."

"That... really is the best thing to do, isn't it?" Tidus spoke up, his voice lacking its usual high-pitched enthusiasm.

"I learned it from you," Yuna smiled, catching Tidus' eye. Tidus sighed, and let his gaze fall to rest on the ground. A small smile broke free of his tired lips.

"Thanks, Yuna," Tidus said, trailing a hand quickly through the girl's hair. Her eyes smiled at him, and Tidus suddenly felt that they'd made their peace with each other. Maybe everything would be okay now, even if they weren't partners anymore. They were still friends, and there would always be a part of them that loved each other, a part that no one would ever touch.

"Hey! Cloud? Tidus? Either of you up for a match?" Laguna asked, approaching the four still sitting on the ground. He spun his machine gun around in his hand as he walked, making his companions a little uneasy.

"I think I'm good," Tidus shook his head. "Should probably rest my knee a little more before the battle anyway."

"What about you, Cloud?" Laguna asked.

"Might not be a bad idea," Cloud agreed, pushing himself up off the ground.

"Good. A worthy opponent. I beat Lightning, no problem," Laguna grinned.

"No, you didn't," Lightning muttered, giving a swat at the man's head as she passed swiftly by him.

"Okay, fine. So, maybe it was the other way around," Laguna sighed, rubbing his abused head gingerly. "Anyway, c'mon. Let's go."

Cloud followed Laguna to a clear space where they could spar, and Yuna, Tidus, and Tifa watched from where they sat. After a few minutes of watching Cloud deflect bullets—with such skill, it was as if he'd been doing it all his life—Tidus got to his feet, and stretched his arms above his head.

"I'm gonna go talk to Zidane and Bartz for a minute, okay?"

"Sure," Yuna nodded.

"Take your time," Tifa smiled.

"Oh, thank heavens, it's Tidus," Bartz said, mustering a weak grin as his friend approached. "Please, cheer us up," he begged.

"Oh, don't know how much good I'll be at that," Tidus replied, wrinkling his nose.

"C'mon, T. Talk to us," Zidane pleaded, resting his head on his fist.

"Um, okay. Oh, I know," shaking an accusing finger at them. "Thanks a lot, you guys, for sending Warrior of Light after me and Cloud," Tidus hissed, low enough so that he wouldn't be heard by anyone else. Zidane and Bartz exchanged glances, and though their mouths fought against them, they displayed small smirks.

"Right. Didn't think about that being an issue," Bartz mused.

"Yeah, hope you didn't get caught in the middle of something," Zidane winked. His eyes widened a little when Tidus remained silent.

"You got caught, didn't you?" he smirked wider, his perverted little mind enjoying this story far too much.

"No, we almost did," Tidus corrected Zidane. "Well, we weren't doing _it_. We were doing... _stuff_."

"We don't need to know that," Bartz said, monotonously, through half-lidded eyes.

"Right," Tidus said, quickly, somehow preventing a blush from rising to his cheeks.

He was suddenly distracted by the figure floating a few feet above his head, and he turned to look at it. Squall's brown hair drooped lifelessly toward the ground. His fair skin was even paler than usual.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Tidus asked, causing his friends to regain their melancholy dispositions. Bartz gave a light sigh.

"Cosmos says he's regaining his memories right now. Unlike Cloud, she's decided to keep him comatose while he recovers. Says it'll be easier on us," he explained.

"Yeah, but it's not like we're not distracted. I can't stand waiting for him to wake up, not knowing when, or even _if_ he'll remember us," Zidane added, shaking his head.

"It'll be alright, you guys. Cloud bounced back from this. Squall can, too," Tidus assured them, forcing a small simper.

"Even if he does, I don't think he'll be fit to fight in this battle," Zidane said.

"Yeah, maybe not, but don't give up. Just fight his share for him. Make sure you kick enough ass for him, too," Tidus grinned. He was relieved when Bartz managed a smile, and when Zidane saw his friend's happiness, he smiled, too.

"Thanks, T," Zidane said, holding his fist out, and Tidus lightly bumped his own fist against it.

"That's what friends are for," Tidus smiled.

* * *

Cosmos awoke with a start. Her eyelids fluttered a few times before remaining open, and focusing on her dear Warrior of Light's face. His gentle eyes stared into hers as she regained control of herself.

"Were you dreaming, milady?" he asked.

"Yes," she whispered, voice meek. She mustered a soft smile, but it was one that Warrior of Light was able to see directly through.

"Tell me, Cosmos. Of what did you dream?" The question was followed by a long pause.

"Of Chaos. Of his twelve warriors, and hundreds of thousands of manikins," the goddess replied. She didn't look into her warrior's eyes right away, not until he tilted her chin up toward him.

"We are ready, Cosmos. Everyone here has obtained their crystals," Warrior of Light assured her, but she was quick to reply.

"I do not believe this will be enough."

"What do you mean?" Warrior of Light asked, swallowing hard. Cosmos' hand twitched within her warrior's grasp, and she clung to him as tightly as she could with her delicate fingers.

"This is not how I planned it. I did not expect to lose a warrior to Chaos. I did not intend to have a warrior in the midst of recovery on the very eve of battle. And Chaos has more numbers than I had ever imagined. I did not foresee him reviving his warriors, and I certainly did not foresee the creation of so many manikins," the goddess explained. There was so much pain and fear in her voice. Had her other warriors heard her, they surely would not have had the courage to even attempt fighting such a battle.

"What do you suggest we do?" Warrior of Light asked. The goddess got to her feet, and her warrior along with her, letting go of his hand as she did so. She gazed up at the light grey sky for what seemed like a while.

"What, Cosmos?" she was asked again. Finally, she brought her gaze back down and her eyes met her warrior's.

"Start over," she replied. Warrior of Light felt his mouth go dry, and he tried to rationalize her way of thinking.

"Start over?" he repeated. "Reset everything to the way it was when each warrior first arrived? Purge everything they have accomplished here?"

"It is better than having them all die, is it not? If they die in this battle, I fear I will not be able to revive them all. My powers... are waning," the goddess explained, bringing her hands up in front of her face, and staring at them as they trembled.

"But, their crystals..." Warrior of Light started, but trailed off.

"Will have to be retrieved once again, yes." Warrior of Light was silent for a moment, but he slammed a fist down on her pedestal when anger built up inside him.

"This is selfish of you, Cosmos. You will make them fight their way through this journey for you over again simply because you don't like the outcome?"

"You misunderstand, my warrior. I am _saving_ them," Cosmos said, placing a hand over her heart. "As things are now, they hardly stand a chance."

"Perhaps you underestimate them. They are brave and strong, Cosmos, and they are willing to fight for you."

"I realize this, but if this battle is not won, my world will be lost."

"Cosmos, you, Cid, Shinryu and Chaos are the only souls connected to this world, are you not? What will you really gain by defeating Chaos? Obtain a world that only two or three of you inhabit?"

"I ask you, dear warrior, what is wrong with that? The land itself is precious, is it not?" Cosmos asked, turning her head to give him a stern scowl.

"Your warriors are putting their lives at stake, simply so you can live the way you wish to. Looking at it from this perspective, Cosmos, can you not see that it is selfish?" Warrior of Light asked her, his eyes begging her to understand.

"If it is so selfish, then why prevent me from saving their lives?"

"Because restarting does not guarantee that their lives will be saved!" Warrior of Light said, raising his voice. This caught the attention of nearly all of the other warriors, and the Sanctuary fell silent. All eyes were on Cosmos and Warrior of Light. After a moment, Cosmos cleared her throat.

"Warrior of Light, could I speak with you for a moment?" she asked. She touched his armoured shoulder and coaxed him to follow as she passed by all of her warriors, attention remaining on her as she strode by, but everyone soon went about their business, paying the outburst no mind. Cosmos and her first warrior walked for several minutes through the Sanctuary until they were secluded enough to speak again.

"The odds are not in our favour, Warrior of Light," Cosmos said, her tone stern.

"I realize this, but you and Chaos keep the world in balance, do you not? If one of you is defeated, who's to say the land will not perish?"

"I..." Cosmos started. "I had not considered this. But it is impossible to know the outcome until Chaos is defeated, and this land knows no more evil. We must fight, and therefore, I wish to give these warriors a better chance of surviving this battle."

"No, Cosmos, I am not letting you go through with this. You are not going to throw away all they've achieved, especially when the outcome may be exactly the same the second time around."

"It will not be the same," Cosmos assured him, shaking her head. "It's never the same. And this is far more than the second time around." Warrior of Light's eyes were locked with Cosmos', and were filled with utmost confusion.

"I beg your pardon?"

"This is the thirteenth time you and your companions have experienced this journey. The thirteenth cycle."

"What... are you talking about?" Warrior of Light asked, his brows creasing.

"Eleven times, Chaos defeated the majority of you in the final battle. The twelfth time, Chaos corrupted Terra, Cloud, and Tidus, and kept them as his own warriors. This time, Cecil was lost to Chaos, and Squall was defeated in battle." Warrior of Light's mouth stood agape on his horror-stricken face.

"For thirteen cycles of this journey... You have been using us?" Warrior of Light managed to spit out.

"You all offered to—"

"Hold your tongue, Cosmos!" Warrior of Light shouted, holding a hand out in front of him, and closing his eyes. He couldn't bear to look his beloved and trusted goddess in the eye, not after a betrayal like this.

"We were unaware that... Our memories have all been... Cosmos..." he uttered, unable to form a complete, comprehensible sentence. He fell to his knees, and whipped the helmet off of his head, tossing it a few metres away. It hit the ground with a hard splash, then sat on top of the watery floor as ripples poured out from around it. Warrior of Light wished he could pull away from the goddess' touch when he felt her hand on his head, stroking his long, silver strands of hair, but he didn't have the strength.

"I am so sorry, my warrior," Cosmos whispered, as a tear trailed down her pale face. "I did not wish to cause you pain."

"Myself, and the other warriors... We have become stronger here. We have formed new friendships, defeated foes that we never believed we could defeat. I have spoken with several of my comrades. For many of them, this journey has helped determine who they are. Please, Cosmos. Have us fight, or send us home, but do not throw away all we have accomplished here. Do not have us repeat or lose what we have done," Warrior of Light begged, his eyes on the ground below him. When the pain in his heart became too great, he closed his eyes, and wished he could be soothed by the goddess' touch as her hand continued to brush over his head. He waited, but knew it would take time and effort before he could even begin to trust his beloved Cosmos again.

* * *

A long while of training passed, and although the warriors should have been exhausted, adrenaline and anxiety kept them wide awake. Most were beginning to set up their tents around the Sanctuary, though they doubted sleep would come easily tonight. The remaining few warriors were just finishing up with the last of their training. Tidus was in the process of setting up his and Cloud's tent. He glanced behind him when he heard footsteps approaching. He gave a grin when his eyes met with Cloud's, and Cloud returned the smile. He wiped the glistening sweat from his brow with the back of his arm, and he breathed a little harder than usual as he spoke—that last duel with Kain had been rough.

"I think I'm gonna go find a spot where I can get cleaned up," Cloud announced. He dabbed at his forehead again with his arm.

"Alone? Where are you headed?" Tidus asked, looking a little concerned.

"Well, Firion says that last gate we came through can be used to travel to any location in this world, so I'm thinking of heading back to that lake we visited. You know, that night it poured rain?" Cloud reminded his partner. There was a certain look in Cloud's eye, like he hoped Tidus would understand the words he wasn't saying. Tidus gave a nod. He understood perfectly where Cloud meant. It was the lake they had visited the night he and Cloud had talked about Zack and the afterlife; it was the night when Cloud had first held Tidus' hand, and had promised to consider letting Tidus into his life. Tidus tried to fight off a small smile. So, that night still meant something to Cloud, too.

Cloud leaned in a little closer, and glanced around before opening his mouth again.

"I don't suppose we could both slip away for a while," he sighed, voice low. Tidus glanced around at his companions. Some were already tucked in their tents for the night, while others remained outside, some chatting, and some still setting up their tents. Kain and Lightning had started their last duel of the evening. Sure, everyone was preoccupied, but that didn't mean they were oblivious.

"I don't know," Tidus groaned. "Trust me, I _want_ to, but they might start to worry if we both disappear." He tugged on the canvas in his hand, hoping it might make the crooked tent stand a little straighter. He felt Cloud's eyes on him, and he met them once more.

"This is not how I wanted to spend our last night here," Tidus whispered, an apologetic look on his face.

"It's not how I planned it either," Cloud agreed, looking equally sorry. Disdain shone in their eyes. They wanted so much more. They wanted to leave the others behind, and spend the rest of the time they had just soaking up each other's warmth, memorizing each other's faces.

"So," Cloud sighed, knowing it was not to be. "I'll see you when I get back, then?"

"Yeah." Tidus gave a weary nod. "I'll be here."

Cloud released a half-smile, and gave his partner a quick pat on the shoulder before he headed for the gate, the mighty Buster Sword on his back. Tidus watched him walk off and disappear through the portal, and released a heavy sigh. It just wasn't fair. Their last night here, and they were about to spend it distanced from each other. The closeness they desired couldn't be achieved when they were surrounded by fellow warriors. Perhaps the closest they would get was some silent embraces in the privacy of their own tent. Tidus knew all this, and he knew it might even be a good thing to keep a distance between himself and Cloud tonight—they had a battle ahead of them, and they needed to be well rested—but the fact that he couldn't have Cloud only made him yearn for him more. On the off-chance that they would be separated after tomorrow, he didn't want their relationship to end with regrets.

Tidus abandoned his work on the tent, actually hearing it sag a little when he let go of it, and walked over to where his friends sat. Zidane and Bartz were perched on the pedestal that was usually occupied by the goddess. They looked up from their conversation when they saw Tidus approaching, and greeted him with small smiles, smiles that still contained a hint of despair within them.

"What's up, Tidus?" Bartz asked, cocking his head to the side. "Trouble with the tent?"

"Nah," Tidus said, giving a quick glance back at the darn thing before facing his friends again. "I actually wanted to talk to Zidane alone for a sec."

"Me?" Zidane asked, pointing a thumb to his chest. "Oh, man, it's so tough being popular." With a smirk, Zidane got up from the pedestal and followed Tidus a few steps away, just until they were out of earshot of their other companions.

"What's going on?" Zidane asked.

"I hate to ask you this, but you're one of my best friends, and I don't know who else I can trust," Tidus said, quietly, his eyes darting all around to make sure no one else was paying attention. Zidane's expression grew serious.

"Sure, what is it?"

"It's about Cloud. He and I were kind of hoping to have some alone time before the battle tomorrow, and I was just wondering if you could cover for us for a while. We could leave our tent set up here. You just have to make sure no one goes in there to check on us, okay?"

"Sounds fair," Zidane said with a nod.

"You'll do it?" Tidus asked, brows raised.

"Yeah, but why was it such a big deal to ask me?" Zidane frowned, folding his arms. Tidus swallowed, suddenly hesitant to answer.

"'Cause there's something else, too." Tidus lowered his gaze. He could feel his face growing slightly warmer than usual, and was glad his tanned complexion often helped to hide his blushing cheeks.

"If Cloud and I are going to... I mean, we're going to need... Zidane, you know those things you keep in your bag?" Tidus asked, his gaze flitting up to meet Zidane's, but only for a brief second.

"What?! How do you know about that?" Zidane hissed, eyes wide, as he glanced back at the bag in question, sitting there beside Bartz. He had somehow managed to keep his voice hushed.

"Come on, man. I just know, alright? Now, can you please lend me some supplies?" Tidus whispered, his expression so very timid; Zidane wasn't used to seeing him like that.

"No way. I'm not _lending_. I sure as hell _do not_ want the stuff back after you're done with it," Zidane frowned, though a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Zidane?" Tidus whined, bouncing up and down slightly from his knees. "Why do you have to make everything so difficult? This is embarrassing enough, you know?" His tangled nerves were making it hard to stand still.

Zidane sighed, deciding to give poor Tidus a break from the teasing and help him out. He looked around, making sure there were absolutely no heads turned in his direction as he grabbed his bag from the pedestal. He motioned a 'one second' to Bartz as he returned to Tidus' side. Tidus knelt down with him, and they set their knapsacks down in front of them. Hastily, Zidane withdrew a couple of square packets, and dropped them into Tidus' open bag along with a small bottle. Tidus closed up the knapsack just as briskly.

"At least you're being smart about this," Zidane said, clearing his throat, his eyes on the sky in hopes of looking discreet.

"Thanks, bud," Tidus uttered, his rosy-pink embarrassment unfortunately showing through, even despite his dark skin. They stood up slowly, and tried to glance around casually at their friends, as if nothing had happened. After a moment's thought, Tidus found himself smirking. "Who do you use these with, anyway? Or, _plan_ to?"

"That's none of your beeswax, mister," Zidane muttered. Tidus released a breathy chuckle, which finally lessened his tension, at least slightly. He and Zidane continued to stand there for a moment, and Tidus couldn't help but ask the question that kept fighting to reach his tongue.

"Zidane, are we okay?"

"What do you mean?" Zidane frowned.

"It seems like the past while, you and I have done a lot of arguing. Did I do something to make you mad at me?" Tidus asked, his brows curling into a worried look. Zidane's mouth popped open into a round shape. The expression that arrived next on his face was unmistakable guilt.

"I've been a real crank lately, haven't I?"

"A bit," Tidus admitted.

"Sorry. I guess... I wasn't that good at hiding my jealousy."

"Jealousy? Why were you jealous?" Zidane sighed, then took a deep breath before he started to talk.

"You and I were best pals when we first got here, and I'll admit that when you first told me you had a thing for Cloud, I wasn't very supportive. I tried to help you anyway, but after a while, as you got closer to him, you started telling me less and less. I felt like I was losing my best friend. I guess I deserved it. I was a jerk from the start," Zidane sighed, his eyes on the ground. He looked up again when he felt his friend's hand on his shoulder.

"Zidane, I didn't know," Tidus whispered, his expression solemn.

"And after what happened with Cecil, I got worried about you. Thought you were gonna do something stupid, and I didn't know how to react."

"That's my fault. I didn't handle it well, either," Tidus shrugged.

"Eh, oh well. Let bygones be bygones, or whatever they say," Zidane said, forcing a smile.

"I didn't mean to leave you out of the loop, I just... I didn't think you wanted to hear about Cloud. And, I didn't think I was abandoning you. You and Bartz are awfully chummy, too, you know," Tidus reminded him.

"Yeah, I know," Zidane chuckled. "Guess it wasn't fair to take my frustration out on you, huh? You can punch me if you want. After all, I decked you one."

"I'm not mad at you. I just... didn't understand," Tidus explained, shaking his head, but a smile soon broke free of his downward-curled lips.

"It's alright. I'm glad we talked. I didn't want to go into battle tomorrow knowing we might never patch things up. _Really_ patch things up," Zidane admitted, flashing a soft smile.

"So, we're cool?" Tidus asked, offering a fist.

"We're cool," Zidane smirked, playfully pounding his fist against Tidus'. They continued to grin for a moment, then Zidane gave Tidus a pat on the shoulder.

"Now, quit standing around here. Don't you have things to do?"

"Yeah, but how will I get through the gate without being seen?" Tidus asked.

"Leave it to me. Oh, and a little suggestion? Take a tent with you, too. We've got extras just sitting around here now that we can buddy up," Zidane smiled. "Now, go."

Tidus took his time strolling over to the gate. He glanced behind him every now and then, watching as Zidane made his way back over to the pedestal where Bartz was still sitting. Bartz gave Zidane a smile as he approached, but his jaw dropped as Zidane immediately hopped onto the pedestal, startling him. Zidane thrust his hands into the air, his tail waving wildly behind him.

"Guys! Do you all realize that in just a few hours, we'll be heading into battle?" Zidane called out, catching his friends' attention. Tidus made sure his companions' eyes were not on him as he inched his way toward an extra tent that lay abandoned on the ground. It was sort of irritating to see so many unused tents in one place when he and Cloud had been forced to spend nights without them, but tonight, it would work in their favour.

"Some of us should think about getting our beauty sleep!" Zidane shouted. Tidus slipped the tent bag over his shoulder, and shook his head. _Some distraction_ , he smirked, before seizing his opportunity and rushing through the archway.

Tidus was a little disoriented when he stumbled into the gate. He'd never been in a portal like this one before. He looked around. He was in an empty space, surrounded by a circle of different gates. Inside of each archway was a translucent image of the location behind it. Tidus scanned each gate carefully, then his eyes went back to the image of the familiar path, the one he hoped—if he was remembering correctly—would lead him to the lake. With a leap of faith, Tidus charged through it.

He groaned as he landed hard in the grass, and he rubbed his tailbone ruefully as he got up. He recognized the wooded area, and bravely started walking forward down the path. The moon shone brightly above him, lighting his way. He breathed in deeply, the smell of foliage and sweet tree sap filling his nostrils. Even if he and Cloud did nothing but sit in silence tonight, the atmosphere would at least be peaceful. Perfect, in fact.

Tidus quickly found himself at the end of the path, and before him lay the lake he'd been hoping for. His jaw fell open as his eyes rested upon the most perfect picture he swore he'd ever seen. The Buster Sword rested against a tree at the top of the bank, the moonlight shimmering off of it, and Tidus could have sworn he felt Zack's presence somehow, like he was watching over Cloud, just like he should have been. A trail of Cloud's clothes lay abandoned on the bank, sloping down to the water. Ripples were slowly making their way to the shore, each one dancing across the otherwise still water. Tidus' eyes searched for the cause of those ripples, though he didn't have to look far. There, near the bank, stood Cloud, his back to Tidus.

It took Tidus a second or two to remember how to move his legs, and one by one, he took a few more small steps toward the lake. He watched as Cloud dipped a hand into the water, and placed it on his opposite shoulder. Beads of water trailed down Cloud's flawless skin, over his shoulder-blade, and Tidus envied them, just as he envied Cloud's beauty. The moonlight only added to that beauty, as it emphasized every drop of water clinging to Cloud's skin, bringing them to life as they shimmered and shone, before they rolled back down into the larger body of water where they belonged. The moon highlighted every strand of Cloud's brilliantly blond hair, making Cloud glow as if he were not even human. In that moment, Tidus could hardly believe he was. Humans just couldn't achieve beauty like that.

Tidus swallowed, hoping he could restore some moisture to his incredibly dry mouth. He took a few more steps, and flinched when a twig snapped beneath his boot. Cloud whipped around, sending water flying from his radiant hair.

"Tidus?" he asked, his startled eyes coming to rest on his partner, but Tidus couldn't answer. He was nothing short of speechless.


	33. Hush

**Chapter 33: Hush**

"Tidus," Cloud whispered again, as his companion continued to approach him. He threw an arm over his upper half in an attempt to conceal himself, though he didn't know why his insecurity caused him to do such a thing; it wasn't like Tidus hadn't seen that part of him before. Perhaps it was because of the way Tidus was staring at him.

"I, uh..." Tidus stumbled, words still failing to come to him.

He swallowed hard. Cloud cocked his head to the side very slightly, trying to identify the cause of Tidus' awestruck state. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, and he didn't fully understand why Tidus would be so taken aback by him, but from the way Tidus was staring at him, his eyes so gentle and full of adoration, Cloud could only assume _he_ was the cause of Tidus' sudden loss for words.

"What is it?" Cloud dared to ask, ducking his head a little. He was sure that the moon was bright enough to illuminate the pink heat rising to his cheeks. Tidus' brows curled upward, and he looked so emotional as his mouth parted, a soft chuckle emerging.

"Cloud, you're... You're stunning," he smiled.

Cloud recoiled, as if the words had caused him pain, when in fact, the effect was exactly the opposite. Those words knocked the wind out of him, made his heart feel like it was soaring. His brain could hardly register those words, but when it finally did, Cloud's expression softened, making him smile weakly.

"What are you talking about?" Cloud asked, quietly, curiously. His eyes begged his partner for further explanation, but Tidus merely shook his head and smiled wider.

"Man... It's tough to give you a compliment, huh? You never believe me when I do," Tidus chuckled again. He let the tent bag fall from his shoulder, and it landed in the grass with a clank.

"You brought a tent?" Cloud asked, in an attempt to distract his companion, though his arms were weaving themselves even tighter around his torso.

"Zidane's idea. Looks like we have the night to ourselves. I mean, unless you _want_ to go back to the Sanctuary," Tidus said, rubbing the back of his head. He hoped Cloud would want to stay put, and spend the evening on their own, but there was still an inkling of uncertainty that ate away at him. Part of him worried that Cloud didn't long for this time together the way he did.

"Won't the others find out?" Cloud asked, concern written clearly across his face. Tidus shook his head again.

"Don't you worry about a thing. Zidane's got us covered, and I'm betting Bartz is in on it, too," he smiled.

"Oh. Well, good, I guess," Cloud said, fidgeting slightly. He shot a quick glance downward to make sure the water he was standing in came up well above his waist. It had been a long time since he'd felt this exposed. He couldn't say he was a fan, especially when Tidus was just standing there, smiling, and _fully clothed_. Damn him.

"I-I should get dressed. Then we can set up the tent," Cloud spoke up, feeling those endearing blue eyes on him as he attempted to wade toward the bank.

"No, wait," Tidus murmured, taking a few more steps toward the lake.

He sat down on the edge of the bank, and Cloud was startled as he pushed himself off into the water, and started swimming. Cloud tried to convince himself not to be ashamed if Tidus took a glance of what was below the water as he paddled his way toward him, but he didn't have to worry; Tidus was being a gentleman at the moment, or maybe he was still distracted by Cloud's red cheeks and shimmering hair.

Finally, Tidus reached Cloud, and his boots touched down against the lake's sandy bottom. Cloud's eyes were already on him, and Tidus' own gaze wandered up to meet Cloud's. The two stared at each other a moment as Tidus got himself standing steadily, then he cautiously placed a gloved hand on Cloud's shoulder, his arm and sleeve dripping lukewarm water back into the lake as he did. Cloud gave such a small chuckle that, at first, Tidus hardly recognized it as laughter, but Cloud quickly followed it with an amused smile, and shook his head.

"What is it?" Tidus asked, brows furrowed.

Cloud unlaced his arms from his own torso, then touched Tidus' hand which was still resting on his shoulder. Tidus didn't resist when Cloud took his hand into his own, and carefully removed his glove. Tidus watched intently as Cloud gently tossed the leather garment aside, then brought the hand to his lips. Tidus closed his eyes and absorbed the sensation of Cloud's silken lips grazing the back of his hand, and trailing soft kisses over each of his knuckles. Tidus' breathing seemed to slow, almost to a halt, as he relished in the sweet reward.

"Let's try that again," Cloud whispered, releasing Tidus' hand now that it was freed of its leather bind.

Tidus nodded and returned his hand to its position on Cloud's shoulder. This time, Cloud shivered as his partner's warm flesh collided with his own cool skin. Water droplets that had been clinging to Tidus' body escaped onto Cloud's, and trickled down his front, immediately resulting in another tremble. Tidus smiled, and licked at his lips, eager to see what other reactions he might induce from the normally stoic Ex-SOLDIER, but he knew he had to be patient tonight. He _wanted_ to be patient, and would try his absolute best to be whatever Cloud needed.

Tidus longed to lean into Cloud's lips, but he didn't want to rush. Slowly, he raised a hand to Cloud's face, and brushed his thumb against his cheek, hoping that would imply to him what was likely to happen next. The corners of Cloud's mouth were tilted upward the slightest bit, into what Tidus had long ago recognized as a smile. Tidus smiled back, and checked in Cloud's eyes for permission before he leaned in and met Cloud's lips with a sincere tenderness. Cloud readily kissed back, and he was thankful for just how gentle Tidus was being with him, but in a way, it scared him. He knew this night was different than all the others they'd spent together. It was in so many ways. If this really was their last chance, then Cloud wanted every second of it to mean something, and he knew he wasn't the only one who felt that way.

Tidus continued to fondle Cloud's lips between his own until he felt Cloud's hands on his chest, gently pushing him away. He didn't resist the pressure, though concern cascaded through him as he pulled away. Two pairs of eyes locked, and Cloud felt guilty for the hurt look on Tidus' face. He quickly pressed another quick kiss to Tidus' cheek, just to let him know he meant well.

"Just wait, okay? I want you to..." Cloud trailed off, his hands moving to tug at Tidus' shirt. Tidus caught his eye, and in a silent agreement, they began working together to rid Tidus of his garments. Equal ground—that was what they always strove for, and it wasn't about to change.

Patient hands worked slowly, but steadily, while the couple tried to keep the mood as relaxed as possible; despite their attempts, their hearts pounded with anxiety. Cloud's eyes repeatedly darted up to meet Tidus', as if to make sure he was still comfortable with what they were doing. Tidus simply returned those cautious stares with soft, confident smiles, and Cloud felt his worries instantly lessen. Once Tidus' top half was completely revealed, Cloud backed off. His hands fell into the water with a light plop, and the heat began to flood back into his face.

"It's okay," Tidus smiled when he realized this. "I'll get it."

His hands dropped into the water that rested at his waist, and Cloud was ashamed for not being able to tear his eyes away as Tidus worked to undress himself. Hands were hardly visible under the surface of the water, but it didn't stop Cloud from looking. From what he could tell, Tidus' shaky fingers seemed to be making things difficult. Bravely, Cloud took a step forward, and Tidus briefly glanced up at him, but Cloud successfully avoided his gaze.

"Let me help," he whispered, his hands quickly finding Tidus' under the water. Together, they undid Tidus' belt and zipper, and before long, all of Tidus' lower garments were tossed onto the bank with the rest of their discarded clothing. Finally, they were ready to proceed.

Tidus' hand immediately rushed back to a pearl-white face, and his eyes worked to soothe the nervous Cloud.

"You okay?" Tidus asked, his hands travelling to Cloud's arms. He gently rubbed them, hoping to stop his shivering, but somehow he doubted that those tremors were caused solely by the cold.

"Yeah."

"Feel better now that you're not the only one all naked?"

"Yeah," Cloud answered, with a light chuckle.

Tidus could still see tension in Cloud's face, and he leaned in once more to be accepted by Cloud's lips. Tidus let go of Cloud's arms and let his fingers weave around Cloud's waist. Cloud let a hand travel to the back of Tidus' neck, and Tidus released a quiet noise of approval as Cloud traced light circles there with his index finger. Eventually, the kiss was broken, and Cloud lay his head on Tidus' shoulder, his breath warming his partner's neck. He wanted to speak, and he was relieved when, for once, words easily found their way out of his mouth.

"Sometimes I wonder... what I did to deserve you," Cloud whispered. So many kind words had been floating around in his head for so long; it was rare that he was actually able to put them into sentences, to say them aloud. He knew, though, deep down, that if he didn't say them now, he would regret it.

Tidus was certainly better than he was at making his feelings known; Cloud always felt his words came out jumbled and unorganized. What was an attempt at honesty would come out sounding like a bad poem, but with time running short, he felt the need to try. He _needed_ Tidus to understand the words he didn't always say. He needed Tidus to know that he cherished him, that he was thankful for him, that he loved him more than he ever thought he could, even when he'd thought loving someone was impossible.

Tidus filled the spaces within Cloud's broken heart, spaces that Cloud thought couldn't be filled by anyone but Zack. Tidus warmed those parts of Cloud's soul that Cloud thought were cold and dead. He found ways into the deepest, most sensitive parts of Cloud, the parts that Cloud himself had believed were unreachable. And even if Tidus recognized all those accomplishments, did he realize their importance? Did he even know how much Cloud appreciated all he had done?

"Oh, come on," Tidus laughed. "You don't have to flatter me."

"I'm serious. All those days I wasted, wallowing in self-guilt, hating myself for what happened to the people I cared about... And then you came along, and you treated me like I'd never been hurt. You treated me like I was normal," Cloud said, releasing a semi-bitter chuckle at the end of his sentence. Tidus pulled away, his hands coming to rest on Cloud's shoulders as he stared into Cloud's eyes.

"Normal?" he repeated, frowning. "Cloud, there was never anything _wrong_ with you."

"I don't know," Cloud said, shaking his head as embarrassment attempted to swallow him up again. "What I'm trying to say is, you just sort of... knew how to talk to me. Zidane and the others always spoke to me like I was about to break, and honestly, they weren't wrong. But you..." Cloud trailed off, his gaze resting on the water. Tidus nodded gently, hoping Cloud would continue. It wasn't often that he was this open, this honest.

"You saw something they couldn't, didn't you? You knew me. And even when I tried to resist your kindness, you were persistent." He looked up in surprise when Tidus let out a small burst of laughter.

"'Persistent'. You mean 'annoying'?" Tidus smirked. Cloud released a wider smile than usual, one that sent a bout of joy straight to Tidus' heart.

"Maybe at times. All I can do _now_ is thank you," Cloud answered with the sincerest of tones.

Tidus felt as if his chest might burst, but a heavy exhale and a giant grin managed to keep his dear heart intact. Tidus shook his head as he let out another chuckle, and he pulled Cloud into his arms. Cloud's chest was cool against his own, but he hoped the contact would quickly warm them both.

"You're not the only one who got a sweet deal, you know? I got you, too, remember?" Tidus continued to grin. Cloud rolled his eyes and chuckled at Tidus' playful, yet honest, response.

"I love you," he hummed, tucking his head safely underneath Tidus' chin. He closed his eyes, and relaxed as they tightened their embrace around one another.

"I love you, too," Tidus whispered.

* * *

Cloud's back hit the soft fabric of his sleeping bag, and he gazed up into Tidus' loving eyes. Cloud felt a little exposed, just lying there like a naked rag-doll beneath his equally nude partner, but he'd already sensed that tonight was different than usual. Every movement was unhurried. Each touch was made with utmost care. Cloud assured himself that there was nothing to fear. He was even further convinced when Tidus lowered his lips to his own in a slow, passionate kiss. Tonight, they would act like they had forever. That was really the best they could do.

Their lips parted with a soft noise this time. Cloud smiled, almost shyly. Tidus was staring down at him so fondly, he could hardly understand what he'd done to deserve it. He watched as Tidus' lips curled upward into a smile. Tidus analyzed every one of Cloud's distinct facial features, each illuminated by the moon's distilled light seeping through the tent walls.

"Look at you," Tidus whispered, a hand making its way to Cloud's left jaw. "So incredible."

Cloud leaned into the contact. A thumb trailed over the soft skin of Cloud's cheek before moving up to his earlobe instead. Tidus ran his finger over the precious earring he'd made, the one that Cloud was still proudly wearing. He couldn't even begin to describe how amazing it was that Cloud still carried that piece of him wherever he went. In hindsight, he was kind of surprised that their fellow companions—some of which were observant to a fault—hadn't noticed it. Or perhaps they had, and just hadn't had the nerve to say anything.

"I can't believe we're here," Tidus continued, with a soft chuckle. "Can't believe you're mine."

Cloud raised his brows a little as he gave Tidus a curious glance. Tidus' jaw fell open a little as he realized how awful that must have sounded, and he waited for words to reach his silent mouth. Cloud gave a small smirk as Tidus continued to search for the right thing to say.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, rushing his words. "That sounded a lot more possessive than I intended."

"It's okay," Cloud smiled, with a slight shake of his head. "I don't mind. Being yours."

Cloud had expected the response would take Tidus off guard, and he was glad when it did. Tidus' mouth formed an 'o' as he let those words sink in, and he remained bashful as a timid smile broke free. Cloud brought an arm around to rest on his partner's back, and Tidus was soothed by the cool fingertips of Cloud's other hand, lightly grazing the skin between his shoulder blades.

"What did you mean when you said you 'can't believe we're here'?" Cloud asked, his eyes half-lidded as Tidus caressed his earlobe between his fingertips.

"Well, you know. There were plenty of times when I thought this wouldn't work out, but..."

"As you know, so did I," Cloud replied, guilt detectable in his tone, and in his now wide eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Tidus said, hurriedly. "Life's too short for that." Tidus bit his lip as he finished speaking, and Cloud didn't have to ask to know what Tidus really meant. _Their time together_ was too short, or very possibly.

"Hey," Cloud spoke up, bringing Tidus' wandering gaze back to his own. "I'm really glad it _did_ work out."

"Yeah," Tidus smiled, weakly, hand falling from Cloud's ear. Cloud pushed himself up on his elbows so he could reach Tidus' lips. "Me, too," Tidus finished.

Cloud watched his shrinking posture carefully as he pulled away. Tidus looked so fearful now, and Cloud felt the need to keep talking. They couldn't give into sadness, or this remaining time would mean nothing.

"Tidus?" Cloud spoke up, but this time his eyes were the ones to flutter away. His brows wrinkled slightly, and Tidus cocked his head to the side, trying to figure him out.

"I don't know how to say... how grateful I am for all you've given me. I mean, really, I'm no good with words, but..." Cloud rushed on, but suddenly realized he didn't _need_ words to convey how he was feeling. His eyes found their way back to Tidus', as they always did, and this time, his voice was confident as he spoke.

"But if you'll let me, I'll show you instead." Tidus gave a crooked smile, not fully understanding what Cloud meant, but trusting him enough to go ahead with whatever he had planned.

Tidus whimpered as a hand reached the back of his neck, pulling him in against Cloud's lips again, and Cloud lay back down, bringing Tidus down with him. Tidus' hand reached for Cloud's ear again, fingers brushing gently over it. Their gazes locked as the kiss ended.

"Yeah," Tidus whispered, mesmerized already by Cloud's movements. "Show me instead."

Cloud's eyelids fluttered a couple of times before he lifted his head and seized Tidus' soft lips again. Tidus' hand slid from Cloud's ear to his neck, then continued downward before finally coming to rest on his chest. Cloud licked at his partner's lips, and Tidus willingly accepted Cloud's tongue into his mouth. Cloud did his best to learn Tidus, to taste every inch of that cavern that so few were privileged to explore.

Tidus felt a second hand on the back of his neck, gently coaxing him downward. Finally, they broke the kiss, and their eyes met again, as if to make sure they were both still consenting to their actions. Then, they began a new series of kisses, kisses that were given and received in slow, steady motions. Meanwhile, Tidus managed to ease a hand underneath Cloud's back, and he felt Cloud arch slightly, away from his touch and toward the rest of his body. He felt a tremor in Cloud's breath, even in the midst of their kiss, but as he let his fingers trace circles against the small of his partner's back, he could feel Cloud relaxing again.

That pale skin was so soft, and almost cool to the touch. Tidus loved it. He loved the way it was such a contrast to his own skin, loved the way he and Cloud complemented each other in so many ways.

Cloud trailed a hand down his partner's side, which caused Tidus to tremble. Carefully, Cloud stroked the skin there, as he attempted to swap their positions. Tidus recognized what Cloud wanted, and he allowed himself to be lowered to the sleeping bag. There he lay beneath his partner's naked form, and all he could do was stare up in awe. He knew it was crazy after all they'd been through, but part of him still found it hard to believe that he'd earned enough of Cloud's love and trust to be here with him, indulging in each other the way they were.

Tidus continued to stroke Cloud's back as Cloud pressed another gentle kiss to his lips, then to his forehead. They both smiled, and Tidus' hand fell away as Cloud sat up at the end of the sleeping bag. Tidus raised his head to see what was happening, but he realized Cloud wasn't leaving; he was just preparing to readjust himself. Tidus didn't fight the moan that rose to his throat as Cloud moved to straddle him. Cloud closed his eyes, hoping to hide his own pleasure, as he lowered his lips to Tidus' chest. The same amount of care and patience that they had used before was put into the kisses that Cloud pressed to that speckled bronze skin, and the gentle sigh that emerged from Tidus' parted lips told Cloud that that patience was appreciated.

Tidus raised a hand and slipped it into the array of blond spikes that covered Cloud's head. His fingers slipped through them, wandering through each section of blond strands over and over again. Cloud couldn't deny that it reminded him a little of Zack, but Tidus' touch was different; he couldn't pinpoint _how_ , but it was soothing nonetheless, perhaps even more so than Zack's. Then again, Zack's touch was a mere memory now, wasn't it? Tidus was real, warm, familiar, and even through the mere motions of those fingertips, Cloud could feel how sincerely Tidus desired him, how much Tidus wanted him to know he cared.

Cloud breathed in deeply, and his nostrils filled with Tidus' pleasing scent. He smelled like the sun, the trees, the ocean. Cloud secretly wondered if Tidus were to live in a city like Midgar, would he still have been able to keep such a pure, sweet scent. Even if not, Cloud would always imagine him this way. It was engrained in his memory now.

Curious, Cloud let his tongue sneak out to identify another of Tidus' qualities—that incredible suntanned skin. He wasn't surprised when that skin tasted salty, just like the sea. Perhaps that was just the way Tidus was. Perhaps he had been born a child of nature; the sea was part of his identity, and Cloud couldn't describe how much he envied that.

Cloud's hand roamed to the base of Tidus' neck as his lips and tongue continued their work on Tidus' chest. Fingers travelled over every nearby bone and indentation until they detected a flaw. Cloud raised his head and looked to where his fingers had ceased their motion. Beneath them, at the top of Tidus's shoulder, lay a thin line.

"This scar... From when Kuja attacked you?" Cloud asked, his gaze fluttering over to meet his partner's.

"No, that's, um... That's a pretty old injury, actually," Tidus admitted.

"What happened?"

"My old man."

"He hurt you?" Cloud frowned, a subtle hint of fury suddenly visible in the depths of his glowing eyes.

"No, he was aiming for my mom. I just got caught in the crossfire. She dodged him, he hit the clock above her head, and well... The glass shattered and hit me," Tidus shrugged, averting his gaze.

"Tidus..." Cloud murmured, his fingers tracing their way along the damaged skin.

"It's fine. I mean, he was drunk all the time, and that was the only time he ever tried to hurt either of us. We were lucky."

"Still... I'm sure it wasn't easy to deal with." Cloud's brows were creased with so much worry, and although Tidus hated that look—he'd seen it far too much over the past few months—it was a little endearing to know that that concern was for him.

"Eh, someone's always got it worse, you know?" Tidus shrugged again. Cloud paused a moment, just staring in disbelief.

"You're amazing for what you do," Cloud said, managing to catch his lover's gaze again. "Putting the past behind you without looking back... Even a past as painful as yours. And you do it with a smile."

"Hey, if you smile, you can get through anything," Tidus explained with a nod. His gentle grin was sincere, and Cloud stared at him for a moment before meeting his lips once again.

"Then for tonight, let's keep smiling," Cloud whispered, as they parted. He'd hoped the line would be a comforting one, but Tidus didn't seem impressed. He just stared at Cloud with half-lidded eyes, like he was the biggest doofus he'd ever seen.

"You're going into sap-mode on me. Try to watch that, okay?" Tidus smirked. Cloud released the most real chuckle Tidus had heard from him in a long time, and it made his heart leap against his chest.

"I'll try," Cloud teased.

Another kiss was shared between the two, and Cloud could feel their positions start to shift again. Tidus' hands were on his waist, and Cloud clung tightly to his beloved as he was manoeuvred to rest beneath him once more. Cloud wove his arms around Tidus' neck as the kiss continued. It was followed by several more quick kisses before Tidus' lips began a new journey down Cloud's neck. Cloud closed his eyes and tried to keep his breathing steady as Tidus explored and caressed that new, yet familiar, territory. Skin was captured between lips, and tenderly between teeth, and Tidus received quiet, but appreciative, noises for his efforts.

At a slow, easy pace, Tidus made his way down Cloud's neck, down his chest and torso. Cloud's hands travelled into Tidus' soft hair, and weaved in and out of those brilliant highlighted strands. A tongue ran down Cloud's front, capturing his cool essence. It entered his navel, and Cloud's breath hitched before a shaky sigh shot out of his mouth. Cloud was sure—and rather embarrassed—that Tidus had just discovered one of his turn-ons. Tidus raised his head a little, his expression turning into a questioning one, but with Cloud's eyes closed, he couldn't read him.

Once more, Tidus lowered his head. Cautiously, he kissed just above Cloud's navel before circling his tongue around it. Cloud released a breathy moan, and tossed his head to the side. Tidus was quite pleased with himself, but he knew things had just stepped up to the next level. He could see the growing heat between Cloud's legs, and could feel the same effect between his own, but he still didn't want to rush things. That was now more important than ever.

Tidus returned his lips to Cloud's, and Cloud's welcoming arms wrapped around his neck once again. They kissed for several long seconds. Kissing was their safe zone. It gave them some time to think, to rationalize. Tidus was the first to break the contact.

"Tidus," Cloud breathed, but when no more words followed, Tidus spoke up.

"Cloud, I brought protection. Everything we need, okay? So, no matter where this goes, we don't have to worry."

"Okay," Cloud nodded, but as his wary gaze wandered away, Tidus knew something was on his mind.

"What is it?"

"Tidus, please don't take this the wrong way. I do want this to happen for us, but, like Yuna said, I want to believe that things are going to be okay. And, if that's the case, then I... I want to wait."

"Um... okay," Tidus said, looking a little hurt, but mostly confused.

He sat back when he felt Cloud trying to sit up. Cloud paused for a moment, adjusting himself comfortably on the sleeping bag. A hand flew to his mouth, and he bit nervously at his fingertips. His eyes were on the floor of the tent as he tried to calm his breathing, and to gather his words. Finally, he let his hand fall to his side, and his eyes met Tidus' curious ones.

"I've thought about it a lot, and I want this to happen for us because we _want_ it to. Not because we feel we have to. I want to do it... when it won't mean goodbye," Cloud explained slowly, hoping it would make sense to Tidus the way it did to him. Obviously, those words had hit home. There was a sadness that bolted into Tidus' eyes.

"When it won't mean goodbye," Tidus repeated, solemnly. "When we don't have to worry about time running out?" he asked.

"That's right," Cloud nodded. "Do you... get that?"

"I think I do." Tidus took a minute to mull it over, then he spoke again. "Before, I was thinking this would be the perfect time to do this, but there was this doubt in my mind, like we deserved better or something. Maybe what you said is true. We deserve to do this when we feel ready. When the moment's really right."

"That's what I believe," Cloud nodded. "So... You're okay with this? With waiting?" Cloud asked, his lowered head just barely high enough for his eyes to meet Tidus'. He was relieved, however, when Tidus' gentle hand reached his shoulder.

"Yeah, 'cause, Yuna's right, isn't she? We gotta believe that we'll be together after this," Tidus said, raising his brows a little. Cloud smiled gently.

"Yeah, she's right. Or, um... _You're_ right. She said she learned it from you, remember?"

Tidus smiled, and he and Cloud rose to their knees as their lips collided once again. Cloud's hands slipped under Tidus' arms and laced behind his back, locking his partner in an embrace. Tidus' hands rose to cup Cloud's face as he kissed him even more passionately than he had all night. Minds grew hazy as lips and limbs entangled. Despite not gaining that extent of intimacy that Tidus desired, he knew they were making the right decision; the night had been amazing on its own anyway. He'd been closer to Cloud than he ever had been. How could he possibly complain?

* * *

Neither knew what time it was now. Somewhere between dusk and dawn. Probably closer to dawn than they would have liked. Tidus lay on his back, Cloud on his side. Sun-kissed fingers trailed through blond spikes as Cloud's head rested peacefully on Tidus' chest. They breathed slowly, deeply. Cloud's arm was draped over Tidus' waist. Their lower halves were covered by a sleeping bag, which had been unzipped all the way to serve as a large blanket.

Despite the peace and serenity of the moment, their hearts were pounding. The dangers of tomorrow still loomed over them, casting a shadow on their sunbathed night. It didn't matter how hard they hoped for the best, there was still a part of them that couldn't let go of their fear. Cloud knew they didn't have to speak of tomorrow, but in a way, it felt wrong not to. He knew Tidus was as scared as he was; with his ear pressed against his companion's chest, he could hear that fear beating perfectly. Cloud felt it was his responsibility to ease that fear.

"So, you living in my world, huh? What do you think about that?" Cloud asked, turning his head up a little against Tidus' chin.

"Guess I'll know when I see it. You don't have any stadiums that would be good for Blitzball, do ya?" Tidus grinned. Cloud shook his head against Tidus' chest.

"No stadiums."

"An ocean?"

"Well, there's this one place. Costa del Sol. It's a resort. Really nice beach, warm weather, sunny," Cloud smiled, glancing up at his partner. Tidus chuckled, and his breath ruffled Cloud's hair.

"Now you're talking! We should take a vacation there, to that Costa da Sunny place."

"Costa del Sol?" Cloud corrected, with a smirk.

"Yeah, whatever," Tidus laughed, then he felt his stomach turn. He found himself wondering if that would ever really take place, but he shoved that question out of his mind as quickly as it had come, and turned his attention to other things.

"So, what about Cosmos? Should we talk to her before the battle tomorrow?" Tidus asked. Cloud paused a moment. He'd thought about that a lot, too, trying to make up his mind about it, but he'd eventually come to a conclusion.

"No," he replied. "Wait 'til after. I don't want to spend the battle knowing it's the end for us, in the event that Cosmos can't... I don't want to spend the battle dreading that. It's a distraction I don't need."

"So, after?" Tidus asked.

"After."

Tidus nestled his chin into Cloud's soft hair, and breathed deeply, deeply enough to catch Cloud's scent. Cloud shifted a little closer to Tidus, hoping the warmth and close proximity might take away some of his own remaining fears. He didn't want to think about the worst case scenario, but if he lost Tidus, he would have to _get over_ Tidus, and getting over people was the hardest thing Cloud ever had to do. He'd only managed to let go of Zack because Tidus had helped him.

Cloud didn't want to have to find help from another. If things didn't work out with Tidus, then Cloud knew he was likely to give up. He would give up on love, on letting people in. He couldn't go through another heartbreak. It took too long to pick up the pieces, and the wounds were just too deep. Those thoughts chilled Cloud to the bone. He shivered, and clung to Tidus just a little tighter.

"I know," Tidus whispered, without even having to be told the thoughts that were going through Cloud's head. "I'm scared, too." Cloud sighed. They knew each other too well.

"I'm not used to this. Neither of us can offer any comfort."

"I'm sorry. You know I don't usually worry like this, but when it comes to you..." Tidus paused. "Things are different."

"Why?" Cloud asked, raising his head off of Tidus' chest so he could look into his eyes.

"You know. Because we've worked so hard to get what we have. Because I don't want to lose you," Tidus whispered, then he shrugged. "Because I love you."

Cloud closed his eyes, trying to mask his pain, but it only made it show even more. He felt Tidus' hand on his face and his lids flew open again.

"We can't lose tomorrow. We can't," Cloud babbled, though he knew words were useless.

Tidus' hand travelled down to Cloud's shoulder, and coaxed him to lie back down, which Cloud did with little resistance. He adjusted his head on Tidus' chest once more and gazed at the damned night sky through the tent; that sky was becoming brighter. Morning was on its way. It was one of the most bitter mornings Cloud had ever had to face, and that was saying something.

"We should sleep," Cloud whispered. Tidus' heart ached for him. He sounded so lost, so weary. Then again, he was sure his own voice was coming out the same way.

"It's gonna be a rough night, isn't it?" Tidus sighed.

"Mm-hmm."

Cloud raised his head, and pulled the sleeping bag up to their shoulders now, but was a little disappointed when Tidus rolled away from him. His cheek suddenly felt cold from where it had been resting on Tidus' chest. He sighed, and turned his head to look at his lover, all curled up, facing away from him. He watched for a while before he saw Tidus start to shake. In fact, his whole body trembled.

"You okay?" Cloud whispered.

"Yeah," came a weak reply.

"Why did you roll away?" Cloud asked, propping himself up on one elbow, and leaning over to see the young man's face. Tidus' lids were closed, but the skin around his eyes was wet. His mouth opened and closed as he sucked in and released shaky breaths. Cloud bit his lip as he came upon a sight that he hadn't seen in a long time. Tidus was crying.

"I didn't want you to see," Tidus whispered, his eyes opening slowly. He turned his head back to glance at his companion, and a weak sigh escaped him as Cloud pressed a kiss to the side of his face. Tidus settled back down as Cloud's arm slithered around his waist, keeping him in a safe, warm hold. Tidus' eyes fell closed again, and Cloud blinked away the tears that were suddenly at his own eyes.

"Maybe we should have known," Cloud uttered, shaking his head in defeat.

"What do you mean?" Tidus sniffled.

"We should have known it would be too hard to _even think_ about saying goodbye."

"Do you wish we had never...?" Tidus started, looking behind him, but Cloud whipped his head back and forth.

"No," he said, quite confidently as the first tears emerged. "I'll never regret this."

Tidus fought harder than ever against his tears, but they broke free as Cloud pressed another kiss to his hair. He wasn't surprised that he had broken down; he had a tendency to cry over emotional affairs anyway, but seeing Cloud upset only made it harder to hold back.

Ever so gently, Cloud rubbed his thumb against Tidus' abdomen, and he soon felt Tidus' fingers link with his own. Maybe they wouldn't be able to sleep, but now that they were close to each other again, they would at least have a better chance.

"We'll be okay," Cloud whispered, through the darkness of the tent, hoping so badly that by saying it, he could make it come true. "Somehow, we'll be okay."

 


	34. Fray

**Chapter 34: Fray**

If there was one thing that Cloud would never forget about Tidus, it was his ability to smile. If Cloud were to choose the most valuable lesson that Tidus had taught him, it was to never stop smiling. And so, on the very morn of battle, despite the butterflies in his stomach and the pounding in his aching heart, Cloud wore a smile. He wanted it to be the first thing Tidus saw when he awoke.

Cloud—fully clothed, now that the events of the night before were over, and the reality of the day ahead had sunk in—leaned over his partner's sleeping form. He watched in adoration, taking in each detail of Tidus' perfect face while he still had time. Cloud's smile widened a little as Tidus' nose twitched in his sleep, and as Tidus released those familiar soft snores of his. Those unique traits that solely belonged to Tidus... Cloud knew he would miss them dreadfully if this really was the end for them, but he couldn't let himself think that way. They'd agreed to keep hoping, just like Yuna was.

Cloud ran a gloved hand through Tidus' bed-mussed hair, then let his fingers linger on his partner's cheek. He stroked the skin gently, and fought to keep that damn smile on his face, though it was threatening to turn bitter.

"Tidus," Cloud whispered. "It's morning."

Tidus' lips were parted slightly as he slept, and Cloud debated leaning into them, and stealing a kiss, but he didn't want to wake Tidus that way. No, Cloud needed him to see that smile.

"Tidus," Cloud said, again, continuing to stroke his face. "Come on, Tidus. Wake up."

Tidus frowned a little in his sleep. Finally, deep blue eyes became visible behind heavy lids. Tidus blinked a few times, very slowly, then his eyes fell closed again, but not before a smile had made its way to his tired face.

"Good morning," Tidus murmured, groggily. "Nice to see _you_ so happy." Cloud gave an inward sigh of relief. Tidus had noticed. That was all he needed.

"Did you sleep okay?" Cloud asked, withdrawing his hand from Tidus' face.

"Well, you know. Not the best, but it was alright."

Tidus pushed himself to sit up, and he rubbed at his eyes for a minute before feeling awake enough to actually look around. He gave an embarrassed smirk when he spotted his clothes a few feet away, where they been so carelessly tossed aside after coming in from the lake the night before.

"Um, so, you thought it would be funny to just leave me naked, did ya? Look at you, all dressed," he pouted, playfully, folding his arms in front of his chest. Cloud gave a light chuckle.

"Sorry, but I wasn't about to dress you in your sleep. That may be one of your fantasies, but it isn't one of mine."

Cloud went to stand up, but he was immediately pulled back down when Tidus tugged on his shirt. Cloud fell to his knees, his arms landing awkwardly on Tidus' shoulders. Tidus smiled as he ran a hand along one of those smooth, pale arms.

"Really? It isn't?" he smirked, a devilish gleam in his eye that Cloud suddenly couldn't resist, though he would never admit it aloud.

Cloud eagerly met Tidus' lips when he felt Tidus leaning toward him, and he moaned a little when he felt Tidus coaxing his legs onto either side of his lap, but he willingly allowed himself to be manoeuvred into the position Tidus so desired. A sleeping bag was all that separated them, and right now, it was probably the only thing keeping them from doing something that, just the night before, they had been trying to postpone.

Their eyes met as the kiss ended, and they smiled, even though they could see the hurt behind each other's weak facade. Cloud let his arms fall from Tidus' shoulders, and he tore his gaze away from his lover's, though he could still feel Tidus watching him.

"We'd better get going. Gotta get back before the others realize we're gone." Cloud's head was hung low, and Tidus pressed their foreheads together. Cloud shivered as he felt Tidus' warm breath on his lips, and his body practically screamed at him to lean in again, but Tidus beat him to it.

"Just another minute," Tidus whispered, as his lips met Cloud's in a new series of short kisses.

When they parted, Cloud let his head fall upon Tidus' sturdy shoulder as he focused on catching his breath. He felt a hand snake up his back, holding him close, and Cloud wanted so desperately to cling to this moment, to cling to Tidus and never let go. He wanted them to stay here together and ignore the needs of the world around them, but he knew one of them had to be strong. One of them had to be the voice of reason, and get them back to the Sanctuary.

"Come on," Cloud finally said, his voice breaking, and his heart with it. "We have to go."

He got up, leaving Tidus cold, not just physically, but cold with longing. Tidus yearned for Cloud, for his warmth, for his lips, for his skin and smile. He could only hope and plead with the earth that this was not his last chance to indulge in those precious things.

Tidus gave a grateful nod when Cloud tossed him his clothes, but let his head fall into the palm of his hand as Cloud quietly dismissed himself from the tent. Tidus breathed in deeply, and released a breath that came out shaky. He felt like a knife had been driven through his barely beating heart. He missed Cloud already. There was a distance between them, one that Cloud was wedging there, and Tidus knew that he had to go along with it. They didn't have a choice. They had a responsibility to Cosmos, and that took priority over all of their personal affairs.

Tidus tugged his shirt on before standing up and slipping on his shorts. His fingers hardly seemed to be working. He could barely get his clothes done up properly, he was shaking so badly. Finally, he gave a sigh and bit his lip, trying hard to convince himself that mustering his carefree attitude was probably the best thing he could do right then. It wouldn't be easy under the circumstances, but then again, Tidus was good at smiling even when things were tough. And Cloud needed that side of him to shine through, now more than ever. Knowing that, Tidus believed he could do it.

He could wear a smile, just like Cloud was bravely doing. He could distract Cloud from the worries that lay ahead with his silly jokes and goofy grins. He could carry with him that optimism that had really made Cloud fall for him in the first place. He could make this day as painless for them as he possibly could.

"You ready?" Cloud asked, poking his head back inside.

"Hey, stop peeking, will ya?" Tidus managed to tease.

Cloud frowned, and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Tidus smirked as he realized that even despite all they had been through, he still had the ability to make Cloud uncomfortable. Tidus couldn't deny that it was fun to embarrass him. There was just something irresistible about those pink cheeks and wary eyes.

"I-I wasn't!" Cloud coughed. His eyes wandered to the tent ceiling, far away from Tidus' gaze. Tidus' grin widened, then he shrugged, his hands in the air.

"It's not like there's anything you haven't seen, anyway."

"Are you done?" Cloud asked, his eyes finally meeting Tidus' again when he realized he was being teased.

Tidus could see the corners of Cloud's mouth poking up into the smallest smile. Tidus quickly finished with his belt, then grabbed his armour and sword off the floor. He pressed a kiss to Cloud's cheek as he brushed past him, and he could feel his companion's tension ease a little.

"I'm done," he smiled, as he headed for the door of the tent, and placed his belongings outside.

"Want me to get your sleeping bag?" Cloud asked, as he eyed the disarrayed lump that lay next to his own neatly packed up bedroll. Tidus whipped around with an eager look on his face.

"No, that's okay. I can get it."

With a soft smile on his face, Tidus entered the tent again and knelt before his sleeping bag. Cloud watched with curious eyes as Tidus took the bedroll into his steady hands, and meticulously folded it down the middle. Tidus went slowly, patiently, and rolled the sleeping bag up, keeping it compressed enough so that when he came to the end, he was able to successfully clip the straps on it. Tidus looked up when he finished, to see Cloud staring down at him with surprise.

"When did you learn how to do that?" he asked.

"I've been struggling to figure it out ever since you tried to teach me. Then, a few days ago, it came to me. Guess it reminds me of you a little. Go too fast, and you won't get anywhere, but if you take your time..." Tidus smiled.

"You get the results you want, huh?" Cloud concluded, releasing a gentle chuckle. Tidus beamed; Cloud looked genuinely proud of him.

"You're certainly full of surprises, my friend," Cloud smiled.

"I could say the same about you, pal," Tidus laughed, as he got to his feet. Cloud released a sigh, and Tidus knew the fun was over. Time for reality to punch its way back into their lives.

"We should take the rest of our gear outside," Cloud spoke up, his voice growing a little more solemn.

"No problem," Tidus nodded, trying to maintain high spirits as he gave Cloud a thumbs-up.

He crossed the tent and collected Cloud's bag of supplies, as well as his own, then moved back to the tent door and tossed them onto the ground just outside. Cloud offered Tidus his sleeping bag with a smile. Tidus stood motionless for a moment, unable to keep his eyes off of his dear Cloud. Cloud quickly noticed him staring, and his eyes met his partner's in a curious stare. He swallowed hard as Tidus' hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"I just want you to know that out there in that fight, I've got your back," Tidus assured him. Cloud could hear sincere emotion within his crisp voice. Cloud sighed, trying hard to fight off sentiments that were too hard to convey with so little time left. He placed a hand atop Tidus', and squeezed it between his fingers.

"I know. I've got yours, too. No matter what," Cloud promised, his blue eyes full of such firm honesty that it actually caught Tidus a little off guard.

Hearing Cloud make promises like that was a rarity, and Tidus made a special point of memorizing those words, the tone of Cloud's voice, the look in his eyes. This was Cloud's way of making a possible goodbye as simple as he could. Tidus knew that.

"You know," Tidus spoke up again, hearing Cloud follow him as he trotted outside. "We could be looking at this all wrong."

He headed for an apple tree that stood a couple of feet away, and gazed up at its glistening red fruit. He picked the best-looking one, one that didn't appear to have any dents or mushy spots, and tossed it to his companion. Cloud's mako-enhanced reflexes allowed him to catch it without fail.

"We keep acting like the chances of winning this fight and having Cosmos send us back together are unlikely, but there's no reason why we should think that," Tidus went on, continuing to stand under the apple tree, staring innocently at the nervous Ex-SOLDIER.

"We're all exceptional fighters. Maybe this'll be a piece o' cake," Tidus shrugged. Cloud's eyes widened as one of the apples tumbled from a branch above, thumping Tidus right on the noggin before rolling to the ground.

"Owww!" Tidus groaned, glaring up at the tree in disbelief, nose scrunching up as he massaged his tender skull.

"Are you okay?" Cloud asked, eyes still huge and glowing.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Uh, what was I saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted?" Tidus questioned, finding his smile again.

"The battle could be a piece of cake?"

"Oh, right. Maybe it'll be fine, and we'll be sitting together at your kitchen table come tomorrow, eating homemade pancakes, happy as clams," Tidus went on. "Now, eat up. Don't want you fighting on an empty stomach, especially now that I mentioned pancakes."

He leaned back against the tree trunk, making it shake from the impact. Cloud's jaw dropped as a second apple fell from above, bouncing off of Tidus' head before joining its mate on the ground. Tidus hardly flinched this time, though his eyes widened in some sort of amused astonishment.

"Are you kidding me?" he muttered. "I don't think this tree agrees with what I have to say today."

Tidus expected Cloud would be swarming him with tender kisses by now, and asking him if he was alright. Instead, he was shocked to find the stoic SOLDIER fighting the strong urge to laugh. Cloud's hand flew up to cover his mouth, hoping he might be able to disguise how hilarious he found the situation, but Tidus had a keen eye, and couldn't be fooled, even when Cloud tried to respond with the gentle words Tidus had been hoping for.

"I can't believe that just happ— A-are you okay?" Cloud asked, but there was a slight tremor in his voice. He was just barely keeping it together.

"Yeah. Yep, you're laughing at me," Tidus said, with a grin and a quirked brow. Cloud shook his head, his lower lip curling inside his mouth to keep himself quiet.

"Here, why don't you just throw yours at me, too. It'll be comical," Tidus teased, snatching Cloud's apple from his hand, and hitting it against his head a few times.

Cloud's mouth dropped open, rounded into an incredulous smile, unable to believe his eyes, and finally, he burst out laughing. When he laughed, Cloud's voice still contained the raspy hints it usually held, but was also filled with relief and hope. It was like he'd been waiting for years to laugh like that—unrestrained, free—and it was as if it held promise of the future. That laugh was just the beginning of the joy and happy memories that were yet to come.

Tidus smiled a wide, genuine smile as he looked upon the cheerful man before him. Yes, this was Cloud, the Cloud Tidus had known existed somewhere inside that sad and tormented heart, the Cloud that Tidus had been searching for for so long. He'd found him, and he was beautiful.

"I'm sorry. It shouldn't... shouldn't be funny, but—" Cloud tried, but struggled for breath in between the uncontrollable rumbling of hilarity. "It was just so unbelievable."

"You're a dork," Tidus snickered, poking Cloud affectionately in the forehead. "But I have to say... I've been waiting a long time to hear you laugh like that. It was totally worth it, even if it was at my expense." Tidus' voice had evened out now, and was gentle, calm. Cloud's laughter died down at the sound of Tidus' soft voice, but he continued to smile wholly as he felt Tidus' hand move to his face.

"Really, is your head okay?" Cloud asked, cocking his head to the side, eyes full of sympathy now.

"It's fine," Tidus chuckled. Cloud leaned forward, brushing his nose against Tidus'.

"You know, you threw my breakfast away," he said in a teasing whisper, glancing at the perfect apple that Tidus had tossed to the ground.

"Well, I guess I'll get you another one, and then run for my life," Tidus simpered, nose grazing against Cloud's in return.

"Sounds good." Tidus continued to caress Cloud's face as they stood there, and when he caught Cloud's eye, he spoke up again.

"But, Cloud, about the battle? We've still got a chance. Let's hold on to that, okay?" Tidus smiled, his bare fingers travelling over familiar skin.

"Okay," Cloud whispered, voice calm and steady as his lids drifted closed. He tilted his head just enough to press a kiss to the palm of Tidus' hand, earning another smile from Tidus' rosy lips, and capturing one last taste of his partner's sea-salted skin.

* * *

The Sanctuary was dreadfully silent as Tidus and Cloud emerged through the gate. The sun had yet to fully rise there. The sky was still a light blue, with hints of pink and purple that allowed the two men to see where they were going. Tidus crept a few steps forward, checking in all directions for signs of movement, but there were none; the surrounding tents still appeared to be occupied. Tidus turned his head back toward Cloud, and gave him a wave, encouraging him to follow.

The two made their way back toward their tent with stealthy steps, but were startled when a figure popped out. Cloud gasped and Tidus fought back a yelp as Zidane jumped to stand in their way. Tidus stumbled backward, his back colliding with Cloud's chest, but Cloud's hands quickly steadied him.

"Calling it a little close, aren't ya?" Zidane whispered.

"Hey, back before sunrise. That's pretty good, don't ya think?" Tidus grinned, trying to hide how badly he'd been scared by Zidane's sudden appearance.

"Yeah, but we're supposed to be meeting as soon as the sun rises, so hurry into your tent, you two. C'mon, hustle!" Zidane moved to usher Cloud and Tidus toward their tent, but immediately halted when Cosmos' voice rang out.

"Awaken, my warriors, and prepare for battle. Be not afraid. We will be ready when the time comes," Cosmos spoke.

The three warriors glanced to the left, to the direction from where the voice had come, and saw the goddess striding alongside the tents. She pressed a hand to the fabric of one of the shelters, and seconds later, Lightning and Kain emerged. More warriors presented themselves as Cosmos touched the following tent. A look was exchanged between Cosmos and Warrior of Light when he was summoned by the goddess; it was a certain unidentifiable look that was noticed by Zidane, Tidus, and Cloud, but they quickly forgot about it as the next batch of warriors exited their tent.

"Hurry," Zidane reminded his friends, and he took off toward his own tent.

"C'mon," Tidus whispered, shooting a hand back behind him and lacing it with Cloud's.

Cloud obediently followed as Tidus led the way to their tent, but they never reached it. A loud rumbling was heard from above, and all of the warriors looked upward. The light-colored sky was rapidly turning into a fiery red, and Cloud clutched Tidus' hand a little tighter when he realized what was happening.

"Get down!" Laguna yelled from a few feet away. Without a second thought, Cloud launched himself at Tidus, causing both of them to land on the watery ground as the tremendous crash of one of Chaos' meteors shook the earth. The battle was beginning. Chaos was here.

Tidus fidgeted as Cloud lay atop him, Cloud's strong body shielding him from danger. Cloud grunted, and pushed himself up to hover above Tidus on all fours.

"Are you okay?" Cloud asked.

"I'm okay," Tidus nodded, sitting himself up, though he was still mostly covered by Cloud's shadow.

He reached for his sword, which had landed just a few inches away, and pulled it in close to his side before he and Cloud got to their feet. Cloud drew the Buster Sword, and held it within his gloved hands. His and Tidus' gazes were drawn to the left, to where a huge meteor sat burning in the midst of the water around it. The ground was scorched from where the rock had landed, and Tidus and Cloud were thankful to see their friends had managed to avoid the attack as well, though some had just barely done so.

"My warriors! Quickly!" Cosmos called out, and all of her soldiers—the fifteen that remained—rushed out of the maze of tents to stand by her at her pedestal. Warrior of Light, Firion, Onion Knight, Kain, Bartz, Terra, Cloud, Tifa, Laguna, Zidane, Tidus, Yuna, Shantotto, Vaan, and Lightning. They quickly arranged themselves in a long, straight line in front of Cosmos, guarding her.

Tidus swallowed hard as he saw a huge red claw tear through the red sky, the sky that was bleeding a deeper shade of red each passing second. Tidus felt Yuna shiver beside him as Chaos pulled himself through the jagged hole he'd so viciously torn in the atmosphere. He flapped his ebony wings and lowered himself to the ground merely feet away from the Cosmos troops, who managed to stand their ground.

The demon's mouth opened into a smile, the same evil smile that had made Cloud tremble in his boots during their first encounter. Chaos' smile grew wider as his crimson eyes slowly scanned over each and every warrior, his gaze making them feel so insignificant and small. They couldn't help but feel powerless against such a being.

"We'll be okay," Tidus whispered. With Cloud on his left and Yuna on his right, he hoped his words would offer comfort to the two people he cared about most. They had both at least heard those words, as they both nodded in agreement, but Tidus wasn't sure whether or not they had found solace in them.

"Cosmos," the demon spoke, the ground rumbling from his coarse voice. "We meet again."

"Chaos," Cosmos replied in a delicate, yet confident tone. "We will fight you, and _you_ _will_ fail."

"I am not so sure of that," Chaos grinned. He raised a red hand into the air, and the troops were startled as a wall of fire shot up from the ground, several metres behind the demon. Still, they managed to retain their courage, and stand strong.

"My warriors are brave. They will not back down," Cosmos assured Chaos, the marks of a slight frown etched between her pale brows.

"I do not wish for a surrender. I wish to end each of their miserable, meaningless lives," Chaos spat from between his long, pointed teeth.

"Look," Zidane said, softly, elbowing Bartz in the side.

Bartz looked ahead, and his breath seemed to leave him. From the wall of fire walked the warriors of Chaos—those who they had been unable to defeat in the past, _and_ those who had been brought back into the fight. Garland, The Emperor, Cloud of Darkness, Golbez, Exdeath, Kefka, Sephiroth, Ultimecia, Kuja, Jecht, Gabranth, and Cecil. Cloud felt Tidus tense up beside him. His hands formed fists, and Cloud was sure his knuckles were turning white under his gloves.

"Keep a level head, remember? Your dad and Cecil... If you have to, let someone else fight them," Cloud reminded him. Tidus gave a nod, but he didn't seem any more relaxed.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Tidus asked, his teeth clenched as a mix of fear and adrenaline surged through him. "With Sephiroth and all?"

"I... I don't know," Cloud answered, quietly. "I guess I have to be."

"We've got this in the bag," Laguna casually hummed, adjusting his weight from one leg to the other as he stood on the other side of Yuna, tapping his gun against his leg impatiently.

"You sound so sure," Yuna said softly, a hint of a smile on her nervous face.

"You're the one who said not to give up hope, right, girlie?" the man laughed, giving her a nudge in the arm. Yuna nodded, her smile widening a little.

"That's right, I did."

The Chaos warriors continued to march forward until they were a foot or so behind their leader. Then they stood still, their gazes wandering to those of their respective Cosmos enemy, and locking in place. Vaan returned Gabranth's helmeted gaze with an unrelenting one. Firion curled a hand around one of his arrows and slowly withdrew it from his quiver, ready to release it at The Emperor as soon as Cosmos gave them the go-ahead. Tidus cringed as Jecht rolled his head in a circle, making his neck crack loudly as he prepared himself for battle.

"Let's end this, Cosmos," Chaos grinned. Cosmos lowered her head, giving him the fiercest gaze she could. That's when it began.

Chaos bolted up into the sky, and his hand shot into the air once more. A new array of meteors formed in the bloodstained sky. The rocks cracked in midair, and orange light escaped from their openings. They caught fire, and shot toward the ground with incredible speed.

"Look out!" Lightning shouted, as the meteors came crashing down. Several screams escaped from the Cosmos troops, and they scattered to avoid the onslaught. Chaos glanced back at his own troops, and with a long nod, he gave them their signal to attack.

Warrior of Light stumbled backward as Garland slashed his chain whip at him. He managed to block the attack with his shield, but it only threw him even more off balance. Terra shot off several spells in quick succession, each of which Kefka dodged with his flexible form. She was thankful when Onion Knight was quick enough to give the harlequin a slash in the leg with his sword, slowing down his attempts to avoid her attacks.

"Oh, look who it is. The thorn in my side," Sephiroth said, his mouth twisting up into a small smirk. Cloud breathed hard, before charging at his enemy. He let out a loud battle-cry as he let his blade fall hard, driving it into the skin between Sephiroth's neck and shoulder.

"Sir Jecht, please, don't fight us," Yuna begged, her hands clasped together in front of her chest.

"Sorry, Yuna. No can do, this time," the man said, shaking his head. He grabbed his shoulder, and rotated it a few times before drawing his blade.

"Then I will not hold back," Yuna frowned, drawing her staff, and beginning to spin it in circles.

"You doin' okay?" Bartz huffed, as he swung his sword at Exdeath.

"Never been better!" Zidane grinned, from a few feet away. He jumped over Kuja's head, causing the Chaos warrior to spin around in confusion, and Zidane slashed at the man's naked torso with his twin blades.

"C'mon, Cecil," said Tidus, his hands forming tight fists. Cecil was taking slow, careful steps toward him. "Come on, man. We don't have to fight. We're friends."

"Friends?" Cecil mocked, his black armour disguising his face and familiar silver hair. "I don't believe so, Tidus."

Tidus rolled as Cecil took a swing at him, and he landed back on his feet easily. He raised a hand out in front of him, hoping it would stop Cecil from attacking, but Cecil merely shook his head and swung again.

"Dammit, Cecil!" Tidus shouted, jumping out of the way of another attack. When he realized his former friend was not about to back down, he heaved a hard sigh, but he refused to fight. Or maybe, he just _couldn't_.

Tidus' head shot to the side when he heard Yuna give a yelp, but he relaxed when he saw Tifa run to her aid.

"You alright?" Tifa asked Yuna, sending a few kicks and punches at Jecht as she did.

"I'm fine," Yuna nodded. Jecht backed off a little as Tifa continued to attack him, and Yuna took that opportunity to begin summoning Valefor.

"Tifa, look out!" Cloud yelled from her right.

A meteor was heading her way. Cloud held his breath, hoping his friend would have the time and speed to avoid the attack, but there was no time to find out. He choked on his air when Sephiroth charged in, and elbowed him hard in the gut. He didn't see Vaan jump in and push Tifa out of harm's way, though he heard the meteor hit the ground with another loud thud.

"You okay?" Vaan asked, releasing Tifa from within his arms.

"Yes, thanks," Tifa nodded, brushing the dust off her clothes. Vaan ran off to continue his duel against Gabranth, and Tifa took up her fight against Jecht once more.

Cloud was knocked off balance when one of Terra's spells went amiss, and bounced off of Sephiroth's blade. He stumbled back a few steps. It took him a moment to catch his footing. He stood for a minute, breathing hard. He could feel sweat forming on his forehead. Not a lot, just enough to remind him of the way things had been the night before. The night before, with Tidus.

_"Tidus..." Cloud murmured, his eyes meeting Tidus' in a deep stare. The sleeping bag below him was warm against his bare skin, and Tidus wasted no time in pressing his lips against his toned chest. Cloud sighed and curled a hand around the back of Tidus' neck, keeping him close. His breathing was rough and uneven. They had been at this for quite a while now. It was no wonder he was getting warm._

" _Tidus," he breathed again. Tidus' hands were pressed against his bare waist, the perspiration making their skin stick together. Cloud could feel the dampness on his forehead. He could see it glistening on Tidus' as well. Having that heat between them, that visible, tangible heat, only made Cloud's heart thud against his chest, and his body ache for any little bit of pleasure that Tidus could give him._

" _You know, you make my name sound amazing when you say it like that," Tidus smirked as his lips found Cloud's neck._

Cloud shook his head, ridding himself of the thoughts of last night, just in time to dodge Sephiroth's blade as he tried to run him through. Cloud heaved a sigh of relief. He wasn't letting that happen again.

"Cloud! The meteor!" Onion Knight called out.

Cloud looked to the sky, and took off running when he saw the large rock making its way to his location. The earth shook as the meteor hit the ground, causing Cloud to fall and roll a few feet. He landed on his back, panting. When he recovered, he pushed himself to stand up. He clutched his arm—the fall had drawn a little blood—and stared at where the meteor had fallen. His stomach turned. Under the edge of the rock protruded a long, black-gloved arm. Sephiroth's hand twitched before falling lifelessly against the ground, his masamune still in hand.

"A little help here?" Zidane called out, pulling Cloud out of his thoughts. Cloud blinked as Sephiroth's body dissipated into purple fog, then he jumped into action again, running to his friend's aid.

"Why do you refuse to fight me?" Cecil demanded, growing frustrated with Tidus' lack of participation in this fight. He took a few more swings at Tidus with his lance, but Tidus merely backed away.

"I told you. I've caused you enough harm. You died for me, Cecil. I'm not gonna kill you again," Tidus explained, shaking his head. He'd said the words so many times now, but either Cecil didn't believe him, or he just didn't care.

Tidus cried out as he was unexpectedly shoved from behind. He fell onto his hands and knees, and tried to catch his breath. The impact had knocked the wind right out of his lungs. It took him a moment to recover, but eventually, he gathered the strength to turn his head. When he did, he saw Golbez standing behind him. He sighed, and hung his head low, trying to take in a few good breaths.

"Finish him off, Golbez. He won't fight a former ally," Cecil announced, before marching off. Tidus didn't bother to lift his head to watch him go. It took too much effort, and he was in too much pain.

He regretted his inability to move when he saw a large shadow appear over him. He released a slow, shaky breath, and dared to turn his head just a little, just so he could catch a glance of what was behind him. He saw Golbez's enormous form, and he saw his silhouette raise its arm, weapon in hand. Tidus begged his body to move, but he couldn't take in enough air to make it happen. Instead, he closed his eyes, and waited for the impact. His eyes flew open again when he heard the sound of metal against metal.

"Hey, can't let this guy get away with hurting ya, can I?"

"Bartz?" Tidus asked, finally managing to turn his head around again. He could see Bartz had his weapon pressed hard against Golbez's. Bartz looked like he was struggling to keep an amount of pressure on his blade that was equal to his enemy.

"Get goin', Tidus. I've got this guy," Bartz said, though the nervous look on his face indicated otherwise.

Tidus pushed himself up onto one knee, and was distracted when something whipped by his face. He looked back at Golbez for a third time. An arrow had made its way into a space in his armour. Only one person could make such an accurate shot. Tidus watched as Firion rushed toward them.

"Come on, Tidus. I've got you," Firion said, gently, slipping an arm around Tidus' waist and pulling him to his feet. He gave Bartz a nod before getting himself and Tidus out of the way. Bartz had the advantage now, and swung his blade, effectively disarming Golbez.

"Here, drink this," Firion said, untwisting the cap on a potion and handing it to his friend. Tidus took a swig of the sweet drink, and swallowed. He waited for the pain to leave his back and lungs before returning the bottle to Firion.

"Now, get back in there," Firion said, shoving the bottle back into his pouch, and charging into the fight once more.

Tidus wiped the remains of the potion away from his lips with a swipe of his arm, then watched for an opportunity to jump back into the upheaval, but he was interrupted when Cloud was flung onto his back. Cloud rolled a few times before landing a foot or so in front of Tidus. Cloud grunted, and Tidus rushed to his side. Gentle hands helped him to sit up, and Cloud placed a hand on his chest as he tried to catch his breath.

"Are you okay?" Tidus asked. "Can you stand?"

Cloud glanced back at him, then pressed his hands to the ground, ready to push himself up, but the pain in his ribs was too great. He slumped back down with a groan, his face twisting up in discomfort.

"I need a minute," he breathed.

"We'll take it slow," Tidus promised him, wrapping an arm around Cloud's waist and attempting once again to pull him to his feet. He wished the memory of last night wasn't pounding so hard against his skull. Little did he know, it was stuck in Cloud's head, too.

_Cloud shivered as Tidus' hand slunk down his waist, over his hip, down his thigh. It lingered there. There, fingers danced upon unexplored skin. Cloud focused on breathing steadily, on keeping his heart rate down. Keeping himself calm only became more difficult as those fingers travelled to the inside of his thigh. Slowly, but surely, Tidus' fingertips made their way upward, caressing Cloud's skin in gentle circles. This was new territory, and Cloud could feel himself growing warmer in places he'd rather not admit._

" _Hey. Tidus," he mumbled, his lips caught in between Tidus'. Tidus released him from the kiss when he felt Cloud's hand on his own, ceasing his motions._

" _Everything okay?" Tidus asked, his eyes filled with concern. The last thing he wanted to do was make Cloud uncomfortable._

" _Yeah, it's okay. We've just... never done this before."_

" _Do you want me to stop?" Tidus asked. Cloud stared at him a moment, and he found in Tidus' eyes the love and respect he needed._

" _No, I don't," he replied. Tidus gave a gentle nod._

" _I promise, we'll take it slow," Tidus whispered._

"Is he okay?" Tifa shouted, running toward Tidus who was holding up a barely able Cloud. Cloud nodded, and Tifa rushed to his other side to help hold him up.

"I'm fine, Tifa," Cloud assured her.

"Are we winning?" Tidus asked, glancing over to where Tifa had previously been fighting.

"For now. Jecht doesn't stand a chance against Valefor," she said, glancing over to where Yuna and her summon were still in combat.

"Better get back in there," Tidus said, letting go of Cloud and allowing Tifa to continue his care. He took a few steps forward, scanning the battle intently to see where he was needed most. Chaos' numbers were dwindling. Perhaps the crystals _had_ made them stronger.

Before Tidus could jump back into the fray, he heard a familiar cry. He glanced to his left, to where Yuna was. His heart ached as he watched his father take hold of the mighty Valefor, and pull the beast into a headlock. Tidus watched in horror as Jecht cracked the aeon's neck beneath his muscular arm. The sound of the creature's breaking bones was masked by Yuna's pain-filled shriek. The girl's eyes closed. The sight was far too gruesome.

Jecht released Valefor from his grasp, and the creature fell to the ground. Its wings produced light-filled orbs, and within seconds, those orbs enveloped its body and vanished, leaving no trace of the great being behind. Tidus' jaw hung open. His mouth was dry. Seeing Yuna so broken up, it hurt him more than he could describe. But when Cecil mercilessly started taking swings at the defenceless summoner, Tidus felt his blood start to boil. He took another step forward, his fists clenched so tightly that had he not been wearing gloves, he surely would have made his palms bleed, but he felt a hand on his arm, stopping him.

"Tidus, are you sure you can fight him?" Cloud asked, Tifa still at his side. Tidus didn't bother to look back at his partner.

"Oh yeah," Tidus muttered. "I can fight him, alright."

Tidus charged into battle with a loud yell, and Cecil whipped around just in time to block Tidus' blade. Cloud watched for only a moment until he was certain Tidus could handle the situation, then he broke free of Tifa's hold.

"Let's go," he said, leading her back into battle. Tifa followed without hesitation.

_"Let's keep going," Cloud said, his chest finally rising and falling at a normal pace again as he lay on his back. Tidus raised a skeptical brow as he rested beside him, and propped himself up on his elbow._

" _Keep going? That wasn't enough for you? You've got more spunk than I thought," Tidus winked. Cloud rolled onto his side to face him, and he reached a hand up to cup Tidus' face. Tenderly, he stroked his cheek._

" _No,_ I'm _satisfied. But you..." His eyes flickered downward to the heat that Tidus was obviously still feeling, then quickly back up. Tidus shook his head, giving him an embarrassed little smile._

" _That's okay. You don't have to—" Tidus' sentence was cut short as Cloud captured his lips._

_Tidus whimpered weakly against Cloud's mouth as Cloud rolled atop him. His lips grew cold as Cloud's retreated, but that warmth returned a moment later at his waistline. Cloud stayed in place there, pressing a few kisses to hot, damp skin. He felt the muscles in Tidus' abdomen tighten beneath his lips._

" _If you want me to, I will. I'll return the favour," Cloud said. Tidus leaned his head back, settling down in silent agreement as Cloud continued to kiss his way south._

* * *

The battle raged on for much too long. The warriors were growing weary, but thankfully the end was in sight. Most of the Chaos warriors had been defeated. Others had been weakened to a point where they could no longer fight. It seemed that Chaos was their last remaining threat, and so, when they had finished with his lackeys, they turned their attention to the great, evil beast. The battlefield fell silent for a long moment.

"Ready?" Zidane asked.

The Cosmos warriors nodded their agreement. Only the sounds of weapons being unsheathed filled the air. Cosmos gave Chaos a confident look. There was no doubt in her mind that they could win. Chaos looked at her, and his vicious smile appeared on his face, only this time, it looked three times as evil.

The demon flew up into the air once again, and with an earthshaking holler, a bright light appeared near the fire wall. The Cosmos warriors shielded their eyes until the light had dimmed, and when they looked to that spot, their hope slipped away. On the horizon stood an army of fifty or more manikins. Dispersed between the manikins were human-like figures. These figures were the ones they had encountered before, the ones of people who had died.

Cloud bit his lip. Up ahead, he could see Zack. The perfect representation of his perfect Zack. He could feel Tifa shaking beside him. Her father stood alongside the manikins as well, as did Tidus' mother, and Yuna's father. One painful memory for every one of the Cosmos warriors, just to tip the odds in Chaos' favour.

The red demon smiled upon his enemy goddess. The disheartened Cosmos troops exchanged looks of defeat. There was no way they could take down so many enemies, and face such emotional circumstances, not when they were already wounded and fatigued.

"I will enjoy watching you lose, Cosmos," Chaos laughed.

He folded his arms as he floated above the battlefield, and every one of the manikins took off toward their enemies. The Cosmos warriors readied their weapons, though the looks on their faces clearly indicated that they were not ready for such a fight. Cosmos could see how weary they were. She could see their pain, both physical and emotional. She could see that they could no longer win this fight.

The battlefield quickly turned into a maze of mayhem. The fifteen Cosmos warriors were dispersed between the fifty or so odd manikins—both crystal and human-like. Each tried so hard to avoid the manikin that had been specifically cut out for them. Every now and then, Cloud caught a glimpse of Zack making his way through the crowd, trying to reach him, but Cloud always turned the other way and weaved further into the mess of manikins.

"Cloud, over there!" Tidus shouted from a few metres over. Cloud glanced at Tidus, who pointed toward Cosmos' pedestal. Chaos was approaching the goddess.

"Chaos!" Cloud screamed, his blade cutting recklessly through the manikins that stood between him and the master demon. The sound of shrieking manikins pierced the air, and Cloud could hear Zidane at his flank, ready to help. Firion wasn't far behind.

"Get him! Now!" Laguna yelled, charging ahead through the manikins just in front of him. Terra followed, sending magic flying in Chaos' direction.

"C'mon, let's go!" Bartz shouted, briefly placing a hand on Tidus' shoulder. Tidus moved to follow Bartz, but when he heard a sound behind him, he spun around, just in time to parry the attack thrown his way. He blinked in confusion when it was Cecil who was staring back at him.

"I thought Lightning finished you off," Tidus grunted, his face fixed in a fierce stare. The last he knew, Lightning had taken over fighting Cecil so he could help Warrior of Light with Garland.

"Did you think I was simply resting over there on the sidelines? I could not let myself be defeated by an opponent as meaningless to me as Lightning," Cecil spat. Tidus recoiled.

"Cecil, whatever happened to you... Whatever they did to you... I'm sorry," he said slowly, lowering his sword. His arm fell to rest at his side, his blade with it. He stared at Cecil, sympathy resonating from deep within his blue eyes.

"Actually, I must thank you, Tidus. If not for you, I would not be on the winning side of this fight." Tidus was sure Cecil was wearing a smirk under his dark helmet.

"Cecil, look around, will ya? All that's left is manikins! The other troops, your brother... They're all gone! What did you accomplish?"

Cecil opened his mouth to speak, but he choked on his words as an arrow penetrated his armour, just below the chest.

"Firion!" Tidus yelled, turning to look behind him. Firion took a few steps forward to stand beside Tidus.

"I'm sorry, friend," Firion said, gently, readying another arrow and pulling back. "But this battle between us has to end."

Cecil clutched at his chest, but still attempted to dodge the second arrow. He did not succeed, as Tidus jumped in and swiped at him with his sword. Cecil coughed as the Brotherhood blade was forced into his gut. He doubled over when Tidus withdrew his sword from his trembling body. Firion and Tidus watched him as he fell to his knees, his lance landing on the watery ground and making it ripple.

"I'm..." Cecil panted. Tidus swallowed hard as purple smoke began to swirl around Cecil's body. "S-sor..."

He was gone before the sentence had escaped his mouth. Tidus was just as happy not to have heard it, as he would never be sure as to whether Cecil's apology was sincere, or merely a final stab at his weaknesses. Tidus let out a heavy breath. The battle with Cecil was finally over. Maybe Tidus couldn't have saved him, but he had put his corrupt soul to rest. That had to be enough.

"Be at peace, Cecil," Tidus said, softly, staring at the spot where Cecil had disappeared.

"Come along, Tidus. There is no time to waste," Firion urged. Tidus heard Firion turn away, and immediately engage in the continuing combat with the manikins, but he knew he needed another minute.

"You okay?" Tidus didn't need to turn around to know who owned the hand that had just made it to his shoulder. Tidus blinked, and gave a quick glance at Cloud.

"I'm okay," he nodded.

"Good," Cloud said, before releasing an agonizing cry. Tidus whipped around when he heard it, and he felt Cloud's hand being torn from his shoulder.

"Dammit!" Tidus yelled, as Cloud fell to his knees.

A Gabranth manikin was directly behind him, and it swung its blades in front of him, as if to warn Tidus not to come any closer. Tidus drew his sword, unafraid. His eyes darted quickly to Cloud's collapsed form, then back up. He'd looked long enough to have seen blood on Cloud's midriff, but he didn't let it distract him.

"You okay, Cloud?" Tidus asked, his voice firm so Gabranth would know he was not about to back down. Tidus started slowly sidestepping, and Gabranth thankfully followed suit. Tidus managed to lure him far enough away from Cloud that they could fight without endangering Cloud further.

"Yeah," Cloud huffed. "I'll be okay." He dabbed at his torn flesh with a gloved hand, and flinched when it caused him pain.

"You sure you're alright, bud?" came a familiar voice. Cloud let his eyes fall closed.

That voice. That sweet, velvety voice that had once been able to comfort him in an instant now made him feel cold inside. He knew it wasn't real, knew it was just a game of Chaos', one that would mess with his head, _and_ his heart. And yet, he couldn't stop his eyes from wandering up and taking in that beautiful sight. Familiar blue eyes, inky black hair. It was just as he remembered, and though he wished it would bring him warmth, and a feeling of security, it didn't.

"Zack," he whispered.

"Cloud, no!" Tifa shouted. She rushed in, and stood in the small space between Cloud and the Zack manikin, keeping them at a distance. Her arms were held out beside her, helping her create as much of a barrier as she could. Zack eyed her curiously, his head cocking to the side.

"I know, Tifa," Cloud said, his words coming out in rough pants. He closed his eyes again as he applied pressure to his seeping wound. "He's not real."

"You'd better back off right now," Tifa snarled, practically shaking with fury. Her hands were in tight fists, and Cloud had seen her revved for battle enough times to know that she would be more than happy to clock Zack upside the head.

"Hey, come on. He's happy to see me," Zack grinned, touching Tifa's shoulder, and trying to push her aside.

"You know, Zack? For once, I'm not," Cloud sighed. He released a small groan as he pushed himself to his feet.

"Cloud," Zack said, the hurt in his voice ringing clear. "Don't do this." His eyes pleaded with Cloud, but Cloud was able to ignore it. He didn't know how such a mixture of magic and memories could create a creature so accurate, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter how this creature existed. What mattered was why.

This Zack manikin was here to aid in Cloud's demise, and Cloud refused to let that happen. In some ways, it was confusing. In his twenty-one years of living, Cloud had been through a lot. He'd experienced alienation, and pain, and loss. And although just months ago, he would have given it all up in an instant if there was even a mere chance of meeting Zack in the afterlife, now, he couldn't think of anything he wanted more than to survive.

There would always be hard moments ahead, but there would be good ones, too. Tidus was the one who had made him believe that. And if there was a chance of keeping Tidus in his life, then he had to fight with every drop of blood left in him to make it come true.

"I have to, Zack. This is over," Cloud said, his eyes fearlessly meeting those of his deceased partner. He lifted his sword off of his back, and though his weakened body shook with pain, he prepared himself for a fight.

"I'm helping, too," Tifa announced, getting into battle stance, her fists in the air, ready to strike.

"You guys are gonna regret this," Zack smirked, before drawing his own blade. Tifa gasped as the identical Buster Swords of Cloud and Zack clanged together for the first time.

* * *

"Cosmos!" Warrior of Light hollered, as he tried desperately to cross through the sea of manikins to the other side of the battlefield. "Cosmos!" His boots stepped sloppily, as they were now drenched from the downpour that had begun sometime during the fight.

Cosmos paced back and forth behind her pedestal. Chaos' eyes were on her all the while, and though she debated using magic to eliminate some of the manikins, she feared she should save her powers for something greater.

"Cosmos!" Warrior of Light said again, panting as he limped his way toward her. He knelt behind her pedestal, and gathered her small hands into his own.

"Please, Cosmos, I beg of you. End this. We cannot win this fight. There are too many threats."

"I know," the goddess replied, causing her warrior's mouth to fall open in shock.

"You are aware of this?" Warrior of Light asked, but Cosmos ignored the question.

"Are all of my warriors present?"

"All except Squall, milady."

"Oh, yes," Cosmos nodded.

She pulled her hands free of her warrior's, and raised them into the air. Warrior of Light looked up, just a few feet above Cosmos. There, Squall was slowly fading into view. He lay on his back. Small, sparkling lights danced around the contours of his body, and bit by bit, they made his transparent body visible.

"I had him cloaked," Cosmos explained. "I could not let Chaos see him."

"What happens now, Cosmos?" Warrior of Light asked, clambering to his feet. Cosmos lowered her arms and turned to him.

"You were right, my warrior. Enough is enough," she whispered. She took Warrior of Light's hands for the last time, and gave him a smile. "Now, return home. Live peacefully," she whispered.

"But, Cosmos—" the warrior started, but he was enveloped in a bright light before he could finish speaking.

The brilliant glow expanded, lighting up the whole battlefield for a moment before dimming out completely. Most of the warriors paused, and looked to where they had first seen the rapid flash. It had originated over where Cosmos and Warrior of Light were standing. Only now, Warrior of Light was gone, nowhere to be seen. Confusion started to set in, but when another flash filled the atmosphere, and Firion vanished in the same manner several seconds later, the cause became clear.

"She's sending us back!" Laguna shouted. "Cosmos is sending us back!"

Panic overtook the group as they realized how truly dire the circumstances were. This battle was futile. They seriously couldn't win. Even Cosmos knew they couldn't handle it, and she was about to sacrifice her life—her world—for the sake of their safety.

A crack of thunder drew Cloud's attention to the world around him, and he halted in his battle with Zack. His eyes darted across the battlefield in search of his most beloved companion. Finally, he spotted him a few feet away, just finishing off another manikin. Tidus noticed Cloud staring out of the corner of his eye, and when their gazes met, they fell apart inside. They were about to lose their chance for a future together. So, this was it? No proper goodbye? No last touch? Cloud wouldn't stand for that.

Tidus saw the change in Cloud's eyes; they went from glistening with sadness to burning with determination in an instant. He watched as Cloud started fighting his way across the battlefield as more flashes of light filled the air, and other warriors disappeared around them. Onion Knight, Kain—they were both gone now. Tidus swallowed his emotions and followed Cloud's lead in fighting his way through the manikins.

Rain-soaked and battle-marred, they reached each other. At first, they merely stared, but knowing they had little time, they rushed to close the distance between their cold, damp bodies. Arms quickly found their way around each other and locked in a safe, secure embrace. Their foreheads rested together for a long moment, the weather pounding down on them making it nearly impossible to differentiate tears from raindrops.

With another flash, Bartz was gone from sight, and Cloud knew he himself would be returning home soon. What did it matter if they made their love known now? Pretty soon, there would be no one left here to remember it. Fearlessly, Cloud took the plunge and captured Tidus' willing lips. Tidus could feel Cloud's hands clinging to his wet shirt, which, in turn, only made his shaking fingers cling tighter to Cloud. If Cloud was holding on, then no way in hell was Tidus about to let go.

Rain mixed with tears, and ran down their faces, giving a memorable salty taste to their final kiss.

"Maybe there's still time. Maybe we can reach Cosmos, and ask her—" Cloud's eyes drifted slowly open and towards Tidus' as he spoke, but he was met with a shaking head.

"We'd be putting everyone else in danger. We can't distract her when she's using all that magic to... to save us," Tidus replied, finding it hard to even finish that sentence. Right now, it didn't exactly feel like _saving_ when everything was about to be torn apart. He saw Cloud's chin tremble at the sound of his words.

"Tidus," Cloud whimpered, his fingers curling even tighter into the Zanarkand-made fabric. "Tidus."

"I know," Tidus whispered. His hand latched onto Cloud's, the one that was clutching his chest so tightly. He managed to pry Cloud's fingers free of the material of his shirt, and he laced their fingers together as another flash illuminated the sky.

"I love you," Tidus said, taking a step out of the way to stand at Cloud's side; there, they could both keep their eyes on Cosmos.

Their hands remained linked at their sides, their pulses pounding hard against each other's fingers. Cloud breathed hard, and inhaled, ready to deliver those same three words, but Tidus never heard them as the sky burned with another blast of light, and whisked Cloud away, leaving nothing but a scorching sensation in his hand.

* * *

Cloud slowly opened his eyes. He was lying on his back in a pile of debris. Carefully, he pushed himself to sit up, the pain from his still bleeding torso making it difficult. He flinched, but fought off the pain and glanced around. He was a little relieved to see that he had, in fact, made it home. To his right was Aerith's church, its collapsing roof and rotting boards just the way they had been before he'd left—maybe even a little more decrepit than he remembered. Cloud coughed. He felt like he was eating dust from lying in all the rubble. Debris from the surrounding fallen buildings, litter from the locals who used to inhabit the place. Yup, this was home.

"You okay, Cloud?" Tifa called out. Cloud's eyes scanned the waste. Just a few feet away from him sat Tifa. Her white tank-top had obviously been dirtied from the fall. She brushed herself off as she spoke.

"For the most part," Cloud replied, digging his sword out from the debris beside him. He let out a sigh, a long, loud, heartfelt sigh. He glanced around agaiin, praying he would catch some glimpse of Tidus, but there was no sign of him. _Well, that's it, then_ , Cloud told himself, his brows curling into a frown. _He's gone_.

Cloud tried to ignore the ache in his heart as he forced himself onto his feet. Perhaps he'd been a fool, thinking things would somehow work out. Why did he believe that fate would be kind to him for once? So, now what? Things would go back to normal? Whatever normal was. He was back at square one? Alone, and afraid to let people in?

He glanced over at Tifa, who had managed to get up out of the pile of rubble and onto the street. He sighed again, and bit his lip, trying to prevent reality from sinking in. He didn't want to think about what was next. He didn't want to miss Tidus.

Cloud stayed very still when he heard a disturbance further along in the rubble. It sounded like a few stray pebbles tumbling to the ground.

"Cloud?" Tifa asked, but her friend immediately shushed her and closed his eyes.

Cloud listened harder. This time, he heard a groan. He opened his eyes again, and proceeded further away from the church, in the direction of the sound. Cloud crossed the debris on shaky legs. A large slate of metal, which looked like it could have been the side of a dumpster at one point, lay across a section of waste. Cloud knelt and attempted to pull it aside. He stifled a groan as pain tore through his midriff, but still tried a second time to move the piece of metal.

"What are you doing?" Tifa called out, but Cloud didn't bother to answer as he successfully accomplished his task. He knelt down, his stomach twisting into an uncomfortable knot as he gazed down at Tidus' beaten and bruised body. His face was covered in dirt spots. One arm was almost completely covered in purple patches.

"Tidus?" Cloud asked, carefully, his voice coming out hoarse and throaty.

"Cloud..." Tidus whimpered, his eyelids closed tightly together. "My... my head hurts." Tidus' head rolled to the side, and Cloud's stomach flipped. The left side of Tidus' face, from his temple to his jaw, was coated in thick, crimson blood.

"Tidus?" he asked again, but Tidus didn't answer. He was unconscious.

"Tidus!" he yelled again, but it did no good.

"Cloud, what's wrong?" Tifa called out, trying to see as much as she could of the situation, but it was hard to spot anything behind the mounds of debris.

"Tifa, quick!" Cloud yelled, quickly grabbing Tidus' wrist and checking for a pulse. "He needs help!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Phew! Okay, that was a super long chapter, but I'll try to keep the note short. I uploaded a video I made which is based on this chapter and the previous one. You can watch it on clidusshrine.tumblr.com or vimeo under username "Tidus Strife". I also put a picture on the shrine which is a little representation of Ch. 24 when Tidus fights Jecht (one of my favourite chapters).
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and will stick with it 'til the end, which we are finally, sort of nearing, haha. I'd love to hear your reactions/comments to events so far, and look forward to sharing the rest of the story with you. Until next time! Thanks for reading!


	35. Respite

**Chapter 35: Respite**

"Cosmos!"

Tidus choked, awakening with a gasp. He panted, his eyes taking a while to focus on the room around him. His head was spinning, and his stomach was doing twirls to accompany it. He watched for what felt like forever as the blurriness of his vision faded away. His surroundings were completely unfamiliar. He'd half-expected to find himself back in his tent, with one of his Cosmos companions hovering over him with a healing materia in hand.

Instead, he was alone in a bed, covered in a white and brown checkered blanket. He turned his neck, and whimpered when it creaked with stiffness. Beside him rested a bed identical to the one he was in. The room's blueish-grey walls were covered in framed photographs and some drawings that a child must have done. To the right, light was streaming through the thin space between the brown, plaid curtains; it was just bright enough to give him a headache. He squinted his eyes to block some of the light, and put a hand to his head.

"Ow..." he groaned, pain searing through his temple at the mere touch of his fingertips. He frowned, and patted his head lightly, finding a soft padding. There must have been a bandage on it. He wondered what he'd done to make it hurt like hell.

"Tidus?" Tidus turned his head to the doorway, and gave a look of relief as he stared upon a familiar face. Tifa stood dressed in a black, leather outfit, holding a pile of towels. Her dark hair was free of the loose ponytail she'd been wearing back in Cosmos' world. She looked good, a lot less beat up than Tidus assumed he looked.

"Tifa. What's goin' on?" Tidus asked, voice hoarse and breathy.

He shook his head quickly to try and shake off the pain in his temple. That was a bad idea; it only made it hurt worse, and made his stomach feel even sicker. Tidus let his hand fall from his head, and turned his gaze back to Tifa. The girl entered the room and put the towels on the dresser to the right of the doorway, then proceeded directly to Tidus' bedside.

"I can't believe you're okay!" Tifa smiled, looking a little tearful. "You passed out after you hit your head. We were worried you weren't going to snap out of it." She pressed a gentle hand to Tidus' hair, well above the wound so she was sure not to hurt him. Tidus looked up at her as her fingers fell away.

"How long was I out?" Tidus groaned as he pushed his weak body to sit up.

"Almost two weeks now. Water?" she asked, handing him a glass from the nightstand.

Tidus' eyes widened a little in surprise. It took him a minute before he accepted the drink, and brought the glass to his chapped lips. He expected the water to be stale, thinking it had probably been there for the entirety of those two weeks, but its flavour indicated otherwise. Apparently, he had been in good care all this time.

"Two weeks, really?" he asked. Once the water had moistened his dry mouth, he placed the glass back on the small table. His attention went immediately back to Tifa.

"Yeah. It was scary there for a bit, but Cloud got a doctor here as soon as he could. A good one, too. He used to work in Mideel before it was destroyed, then he moved to..." Tifa trailed off when she saw the confused look on Tidus' face. "You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

"No," Tidus chuckled, sounding enough like his old self that it put Tifa at ease for the time being.

"Well, anyway, here. Let's get you free of this thing," Tifa suggested, reaching for Tidus' hand. That was the first time Tidus noticed the needle in the back of his hand, all bandaged up with medical tape.

"I, uh, I take it this wasn't your typical coma?" Tidus asked.

He glanced up at Tifa again, and saw the metal post beside her. A bag of clear liquid hung from the post, draining into the cord connected to the needle in his vein. He shuddered to think that that could have been the only thing keeping him alive the past two weeks. He also took note of the shelf on the wall above, lined with empty bottles—potions, antidotes, and a bunch of other concoctions Tidus didn't recognize. It looked like they had been trying every trick in the book to bring him back to the world of consciousness.

"Far from it," the girl shook her head. "The doctor said he'd never seen anything like it. Your responses weren't that of your typical coma patient, and the doctor didn't think your head injury was severe enough to cause such a long bout of unconsciousness. He said it was like you were just sleeping for a long time.

"Other than the fact that you were out of it, you were healthy, vital signs were good... I wonder, myself, if your body was just adjusting to the atmosphere here. The Lifestream that surrounds us is an energy that we're all used to, but maybe you needed time to adapt to it," Tifa explained, leaving Tidus looking overwhelmed by all the information; he just sat there, staring blankly ahead as if the words that Tifa had said were taking a long time to reach him.

"Anyway, the doctor said that as long as you were breathing fine and were conscious enough to eat on your own... which I think you are... we could remove this if, and when, you woke up. Don't worry, he showed me how," Tifa said, gently.

After receiving a nod of approval from Tidus, Tifa sat down on the edge of the bed, and tenderly took Tidus' hand in her own. Tidus hardly flinched as Tifa removed the tape and needle. Thankfully, he'd never seemed to get squeamish from that kind of procedure. He was no stranger to the medical room after enduring blitzball injuries over the years.

Once Tifa had finished, Tidus opened and closed his fist, testing to see if he felt any pain. He was relieved when he didn't; he had enough aches and pains as it was.

"I'm sure Cloud will be disappointed he isn't here."

"Cloud! Where _is_ Cloud?" Tidus jumped in, sounding lively, eyes lighting up with excitement as his mind raced toward the Ex-SOLDIER. "Will he be back soon?"

"He's out. On a delivery," Tifa explained, with a smile.

"A delivery? Oh, like, his delivery service, right?" Tidus asked, remembering the conversation he and Cloud had had about it. He was glad he had always paid attention to Cloud's stories, especially since his attention span was a little short when it came to other things.

"Uh-huh," Tifa nodded. She crossed the room to the dresser, and took a towel from the pile. She turned back to Tidus as she began to fold it.

"Cloud and I founded the business a few months ago, not long after Meteorfall. Figured it was a good way to safely get mail to the civilians, what with all the monsters still running around." Tifa paused. "I lost you again, didn't I?" she smiled, apologetically.

"Meteor... fall? Um, am I _supposed_ to know what that means?" Tidus asked, rubbing the back of his head.

"No, I guess not. I didn't know how much Cloud told you about this place," Tifa giggled. "You've never been here before, so it was silly of me to assume you knew."

"Oh, great," Tidus sighed. "Guess I can't blame Sin's toxin for my lack of world knowledge this time."

"Sin?" Tifa questioned. Tidus held his breath, then shook his head.

"Never mind," he sighed again, giving her a lopsided smile. "Looks like you don't know what _I'm_ talking about, either."

They were silent, then, and Tifa continued to fold the towels and place each one in the drawer. She was thankful for the distraction. It was a helpful little buffer to aid with the awkward conversation.

"So, when will Cloud be back?" Tidus asked again, mustering a chipper tone to his voice.

Tifa grinned, eyes shy, but amused. Tidus wasn't sure if Cloud had told her about their relationship or not, so he was hesitant to say too much, but he had a feeling Tifa had figured things out anyway. She had seemed awfully observant months ago when he had talked to her about Cloud the first time, that night when they had sat up watching over their poor, injured friend.

"I'm sure it won't be long. He was supposed to get home this afternoon."

"What time _is_ it?" Tidus asked.

"Almost four o'clock," Tifa said, glancing at the wooden timepiece that hung on the wall above Tidus' bed. She finished with the last towel, and set it in the dresser before closing the drawer.

"Fresh towels are here if you want to wash up," she said, patting the top of the dresser. "But don't feel you have to get up yet. Even if you do feel fine, you should probably rest."

"Nah, I feel antsy, ya know? Think I was stuck in that bed for a little too long," Tidus yawned, stretching his arms above his head and feeling an awful tug between his stiff shoulders. Tifa appeared unsure, looking like she wanted to push Tidus back down, fluff his pillow, and make him stay there while she pampered him for the day.

"I just wanna get moving." Tidus seemed indisputably determined.

"Well, take it slow, okay? I don't want you collapsing while under my care. I'd be in trouble with a certain spiky-haired delivery boy," she said, with a playful smile. "And I've got a pot of stew on. You must be hungry. The doctor said you could have solid food when you awoke, but maybe you'd rather something lighter? Would you like me to make you a shake? Or some soup?"

Tidus put a hand to his suddenly growling stomach.

"I'm starving, actually," he admitted. "I think I'm ready for a good stew."

"Okay..." Tifa still sounded wary, and her eyes proved it as she cautiously watched Tidus fidget.

"Need any help getting up?" The young woman cocked her head to the side, and offered a hand. Tidus moved his legs under the covers, just to make sure they still worked.

"Nah, I'll be fine." He certainly _felt_ fine, aside from his creaking joints and aching head. "I think I'd just like a few minutes to myself. It's a lot to take in at once, you know?"

"I understand," Tifa nodded, backing off. "But call me if you run into trouble. And I can help you downstairs when you're ready. So, I'll see you in a bit?"

"Yeah," Tidus smiled.

Tifa left Tidus in peace, pulling the door closed behind her. Tidus yawned again, and glanced around the room a second time, taking in all there was to see. So, this was where Cloud lived. Tidus had never spent much time thinking about what Cloud's home would be like, but even if he had, he was sure he never would have imagined this.

Maybe it was too small? Or too dank? He wasn't sure. Compared to the buildings in Spira, this place was seriously lacking in color. He supposed he should have expected it after hearing snippets of Cloud's history here. Cloud wasn't always the brightest and cheeriest of folk, even if he _was_ Tidus' ray of light.

Tidus heaved a sigh before flipping the covers off of himself. This was the first time it registered with him that he was dressed in what he figured were Cloud's t-shirt and pants. He smiled to himself, and brushed a hand over the white shirt he was wearing, feeling a little more safe and comfortable than he had a moment ago, simply from knowing Cloud had been looking out for him.

He looked around, wondering what had happened to his own clothes, but they weren't in sight. He would want a full explanation of what had happened when he'd first arrived here. That was for sure. Somehow he'd managed to injure himself, dirty his clothes, and not remember a thing? Yeah, he'd need an explanation, but first things first. He needed to freshen up.

Tidus crossed the room on weak legs. He wasn't surprised they were a little shaky after having been immobile for two weeks. He grabbed a green towel from the dresser, and headed out the door, quickly finding a bathroom on the left. He entered, closed the door, and undressed before entering the shower. He pulled the curtain closed around the tub, and turned on the faucet. He was careful of his bandaged head as the water sprayed onto him. It felt so good. All those taut muscles that hadn't been used for a while... he could already feel them loosening up.

He breathed in deeply as he took in the sensation of the warm water droplets trickling over his skin, down his chest and back. He was a little surprised when that sensation took him right back to that last night at the lake with Cloud. Even if his mind was a little fuzzy at the moment, that memory was still clear as day.

Tidus couldn't wait to see Cloud. His heart leapt every time the thought popped into his head. He was actually here, safe and sound in Cloud's world. They didn't have to worry about Chaos anymore, or fighting endless battles. Tidus hoped they could live normally now, really start their life together without war, or fear... just peace. He couldn't wait for Cloud to show him around the town, to meet Cloud's friends, to be introduced to this strange new world. But right now, what he wanted most of all was simply to see Cloud's face, for only Cloud could make him feel truly at home here.

Tidus stepped out of the shower, dried himself off, and wrapped his towel around his waist, then went to the medicine cabinet and swung it open. He found what he assumed was Cloud's cologne, and unscrewed the cap. He took a whiff of it and beamed—it really did smell like Cloud. Cheerfully, he sprayed a bit on himself. He reapplied the top and placed the bottle back in the cabinet. He grinned at himself in the mirror, and hoped Cloud would be as excited about their reunion as he was.

* * *

"Mmm! Smells delicious!" Tidus beamed as he came downstairs.

The bar greeted him, air filled with the scent of beef and potatoes. Tifa looked to the left to see Tidus at the bottom of the steps. She was ready to scold him for tackling the stairs on his own, but the jovial look on his face was too welcome a sight after two weeks of his pale, sleeping face; she didn't want to ruin the mood. Instead, she smiled, and waved her hand in the direction of the bar stools.

"Have a seat."

Tidus nodded and perched himself upon one of the stools. Tifa stood on the opposite side of the counter, and she dished up a bowl of food which she placed in front of a pair of eager eyes. Tidus grabbed the knife and fork that were set beside his place, then hesitated, thinking it might not be polite to start eating without her.

"Dig in," Tifa laughed, when she saw the look on his face. Tidus nodded a thank you, then hoed into his dinner.

"This _is_ delicious," he said, mouth full. "You guys must be rich, if you can cook like this."

"We're certainly not rich, but we do alright," Tifa smiled, walking out from behind the counter. "Isn't that right, Marlene?"

Tidus glanced over with a raised brow. He hadn't realized they weren't alone in the room. In the corner, a little girl, who couldn't have been more than four or five years old, was playing with blocks. Tifa walked over to her, and patted her head, her fingers gently sliding over the child's brown hair.

"Who's that?" Tidus asked, looking confused, hoping Cloud hadn't been keeping secrets from him; Cloud had definitely never mentioned having a child of his own, and given what Tidus knew about his relationship past, he could only explain this as a drunken mistake.

"Marlene. She's the daughter of our friend, Barret. He's not around a lot, so sometimes, Marlene stays with Cloud and I."

"Oh, hehe... Okay," Tidus chuckled, pushing his former thoughts aside with a breath of relief. Tifa knelt down and scooped the girl up into her arms. Marlene didn't object. Instead, she welcomed Tifa's embrace with open arms.

"I want you to meet someone, Marlene," Tifa said, gently, carrying the girl toward Tidus. Tidus could see the wary look in the child's eyes as she was brought closer to him.

"This is Tidus. Wanna say hi to him?" Marlene stared at Tidus for a long moment, then buried her head in against Tifa's shoulder.

"She's pretty shy, even around people she's known for a while," Tifa explained. Tidus nodded, and gave a soft smile as he stared upon the child.

"Well, maybe she'll get used to me. Cloud didn't like me at first either, but I grew on him," he laughed. Tifa smiled—smirked, even—and Tidus thought maybe he'd said too much. He shrugged it off with another chuckle. Maybe it didn't matter anymore.

Tifa lowered Marlene to the floor, and the girl took off toward her blocks. Tifa released a soft chuckle before returning to her spot behind the counter.

"Can I get you a drink or anything?" she asked.

"No, this is great," Tidus smiled, stuffing another forkful into his mouth.

Both of them looked up when the door to the bar swung open. Tidus spun around on his bar stool, heart skipping a beat, feeling utterly thrilled as he watched Cloud stroll in. Cloud's stoic expression spun into one of shock. His brows crinkled into a frown at first, then eased into a softer expression.

"Tidus, y-you're awake," he stuttered, the corners of his mouth twitching and almost forming a smile. He wasn't quite sure how he'd even gotten the words out, his throat was suddenly so tight.

"Yup. All in one piece, too. Well, my legs are a little shaky, but aside from that and getting hit in the cranium, I'm fine," Tidus grinned.

"Good," Cloud said, a soft smile fully forming on his face. "That's... good that you're okay." He strode into the room and tossed an envelope upon the bar counter, suddenly finding his own legs a little trembly,

"How was the delivery?" Tifa asked, opening the envelope and counting the gil that was inside.

"It was fine," Cloud replied, capturing quick glances of Tidus as his eyes darted back and forth between him and the counter; he wanted to make sure this wasn't some dream, that Tidus really was back.

Tidus ate another bite of his food, fighting back a smile. Even out of the corner of his eye, he could see Cloud's deep concern; he just assumed Cloud didn't want Tifa to see it.

"This is a good amount of money," Tifa acknowledged, before tucking it into the cash box that rested on the counter behind her.

"Mm-hmm," Cloud hummed. He tapped his bare fingers on the glass countertop for a moment before releasing a sigh. "Well, I'm gonna head upstairs."

"Aren't you going to eat something?" Tifa furrowed her brows as Cloud headed for the steps.

"Not hungry," Cloud answered, simply. Tidus frowned, and watched Cloud only for a second before pushing his bowl away from himself.

"Uh, will you excuse me a sec?" he asked.

"Of course," Tifa nodded.

"Cloud, wait!" Tidus called out, bounding up the stairs behind his partner. Cloud had ascended the steps surprisingly quickly. "What's got you running up here so fast, buddy? No hello? No kiss on the cheek? You just wanna do that in private, huh?" Tidus teased, giving Cloud a playful pat on the shoulder.

"Tidus," Cloud spoke up, tone firm. He turned toward the boy with a seriousness in his eyes that immediately drew a halt to Tidus' playful mood.

Tidus remained silent as Cloud brushed his index finger over his bottom lip. He fought the urge to open his mouth and taste Cloud, and instead waited patiently until Cloud had replaced his finger with his own set of lips. Tidus closed his eyes and sank into the kiss, the warm familiarity of Cloud rushing into him and calming his senses. His hands rose to rest on Cloud's waist, and was taken off guard when he felt the astonishing amount of tension within Cloud's body.

Tidus was the first to pull away from the kiss when the need for air became an issue, and he searched every disgruntled line in Cloud's face, trying to figure out what was making him so uptight. His head fell sideways in confusion when he couldn't identify the look swirling behind those mako eyes—eyes that didn't seem to burn nearly as brightly in this world. He raised a hand, and brushed a strand of Cloud's hair away from his face.

"Cloud, did something happen? Is everything alright?" Tidus asked, softly. Cloud shook his head. He looked downright weary.

"Fine," Cloud replied, closing his eyes.

"Cloud," Tidus uttered again, voice pleading for an explanation.

"Everything's fine," Cloud said, giving Tidus a smile that was almost convincing. "I just need some rest." He swivelled around, and headed for his bedroom. Tidus followed him, but Cloud turned abruptly back around.

"I take it you've got everything you need in the guest room? You'll be alright in there?"

"T-the guest room?" Tidus repeated, with a grimace. "Cloud, you can't be serious."

"Well, my bed is kind of small, and..." Cloud trailed off.

Tidus peered over Cloud's shoulder. From there, he could see into Cloud's room. From the doorway, it looked like the bed _was_ only a single, but it wasn't like they couldn't have snuggled into it if Cloud had wanted to. Tidus would have even been content sleeping on the floor, if it meant staying near Cloud.

"Are you embarrassed, or something? 'Cause I can wait for you to tell Tifa about us, if that's what you need," Tidus said.

"I do need that," Cloud agreed, nodding his head. "If we could wait a few nights... I just want us to settle into a routine first. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Tidus nodded back. He didn't fully understand what Cloud meant, but if time was what Cloud needed to sort out...whatever needed sorting, then Tidus was more than willing to give it to him. He was stuck here now, the last thing they needed was a rocky start.

Tidus looked down in surprise when he felt Cloud's hand slip into his own.

"Thank you," Cloud whispered. "I promise, I'll figure this out."

Tidus gave his partner a gentle smile, and squeezed his hand. Cloud smiled back before carefully freeing his hand from within Tidus' grasp, and heading for his bedroom. With one last look, Cloud softly shut the door behind him, and Tidus felt his heart drop. He ran a hand through the back of his hair, and frowned at the now closed door ahead of him. Suddenly, he felt lost, unable to sort out the mixed signals Cloud had just sent him, and Tidus found himself pondering over the same repeated questions. _What was it that Cloud had to figure out? And why did he feel he had to do it alone?_

He gave a sigh, and debated going back downstairs to finish his meal, but he quickly realized he'd lost his appetite. Truth be told, he knew he'd pushed himself a little too hard for one day. He knew he hadn't done that much, but just being on his feet again had worn him out. He still felt a little nauseated, and his body felt weak, like he was getting over the flu or something. Finally, Tidus decided to return to the guest room. He did a belly-flop onto the bed, and tossed his head sideways so he could stare at those damn color-drained walls. All he could do was hope for a brighter tomorrow.

* * *

Tomorrow eventually came, but when Tidus came downstairs and Cloud greeted him with nothing but a small nod, he feared the day would be no brighter than the one before. Regardless, he took a seat on the bar stool next to Cloud, and looked over at him with a smile.

"G'morning," Tidus said, softly.

"Good morning," Cloud replied, barely managing a smile in return. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah, I did. You?"

"Not bad."

"Alright, we've got eggs sunny side up and a stack of pancakes for Cloud," Tifa spoke up. She was facing the counter on the far wall, then she spun around, and placed Cloud's plate in front of him with a wide grin.

"Pancakes with strawberries on top for Marlene. Come here, sweetie," Tifa said, placing Marlene's meal on the counter, and giving her a wave.

The young girl, who was across the room, stopped playing with her toys and ran happily toward the counter. She stopped beside Cloud, arms outstretched, and Tidus could see the small smile appear on Cloud's face as he scooped the girl up and sat her on the stool to his right. Tidus ducked his head slightly to hide a smile of his own; seeing Cloud smile like that, and seeing him be so kind... it made him melt. Marlene's face lit up when she saw her strawberry pancakes, and she was quick to pick up her fork and start eating.

"And, Tidus, what can I get for you?" Tifa asked. Tidus' smile fell away.

"I feel bad having you cook meals for me," he said, fidgeting a little in his seat. "I don't mind fending for myself."

"It's okay. I enjoy cooking for people. Now, what'll it be?"

"Um, Cloud? What do you recommend?" Tidus asked, giving Cloud a gentle nudge with his elbow. Now, Cloud looked fearlessly in Tidus' direction.

"The pancakes are really good," he said, with a smile that was filled with more sadness than Tidus had seen in a while. Tidus didn't know if the smile made him feel better or worse. It was still a smile, after all, but something was off. The fact that Cloud still looked exhausted didn't help to calm his nerves any, either.

"What do _you_ think, Marlene? Are the pancakes yummy?" Tidus asked, ignoring his unease for now, and leaning his head forward to look past Cloud.

The little girl met his gaze, shyly, and with a tiny grin, she nodded. Cloud and Tifa raised their brows in surprise. It usually took a lot longer for Marlene to respond to strangers.

"Pancakes it is," Tidus grinned, turning back to Tifa. Tifa laughed, and faced the far counter again to continue her food preparation.

As Tidus waited for his breakfast, he cast a few quick glances in Cloud's direction, feeling hopeful that Cloud would turn toward him, and smile at him with that look in his eyes that made Tidus feel like everything was alright. Tidus figured Cloud was just waiting until there were no prying eyes or listening ears on them, and he respected that, but he just wished Cloud would give him something, any little sign to let him know he was okay behind those sad eyes. Finally, Tidus reached over, and touched the hand resting on Cloud's thigh. Cloud looked up when he felt the contact.

"You okay?" Tidus silently mouthed, worry embedded in his gaze. Cloud forced his best simper, and nodded.

"I'm okay," he mouthed back.

Tidus let his hand fall away again when Tifa looked back in their direction.

"So, what's on the agenda today?" she asked, glancing back and forth between Cloud and the food she was preparing.

"Deliveries. Three of them," Cloud replied, in between bites of egg.

"Cool. Can I go with you?" Tidus asked, looking hopeful. Cloud spun his head toward him.

"Are you in good enough shape to be out and about? How's your head, anyway?" This time, Cloud really gazed upon him, and as he scanned the square bandage, Tidus could see true concern in his eyes.

"Oh, it's still a little sore, but it's okay," Tidus smiled, his hand gently patting around the white gauze, all taped in place.

"Here you go. Enjoy," Tifa said, setting Tidus' plate on the counter before him, before spinning back around to prepare her own breakfast. Tidus grabbed his fork from the counter, poured a little syrup onto his plate, and took his first bite of pancake. It really was delicious.

"You're not dizzy or anything, are you? That was one of the things the doctor said to watch out for," Cloud said.

"Oh, that's right. I forgot to ask you that," Tifa jumped in, apologetically.

"Nope, not dizzy," Tidus replied, giving Cloud a confident smile. "Thanks for that, by the way."

"For what?" Cloud asked, staring innocently and curiously at Tidus.

"For getting a doctor here. I might've been a goner if you hadn't, so... Just, thanks," Tidus beamed, sincerely.

Cloud swallowed and drew his gaze back down to his food. How was it that Tidus' gentle smile could render him powerless? He wanted to drop his guard, pull Tidus aside, and explain to him all his worries right then and there. Perhaps telling Tidus would have been the right thing to do, but those worries... he knew they were the kind of worries that would _hurt_ Tidus, and he didn't want to do that. Not now when Tidus was just getting back on his feet again. Not when Tidus was the one in need of healing.

Cloud, unsure of what to do or say at this point, simply faced Tidus again and mustered a smile, though he didn't know how comforting it was.

"You're welcome," he eventually said. Tidus nodded, his own smile never fading. They soon let their gazes fall away, and continued their breakfast. Tidus was disappointed when Cloud finished, and got up from the counter. He felt he needed to do or say something, anything to keep Cloud there just a little longer.

"So, what do you say? Can I go with you?" Tidus asked, looking up at Cloud as he towered over him. Cloud was silent for a long moment, appearing deep in thought. He stared into those puppy dog eyes that were desperately begging him for an affirmative response, but he merely sighed.

"I don't know, Tidus. I don't want you wearing yourself out when you're still recovering. Besides, I don't know how comfortable you'd be on the back of my motorcycle all day," Cloud said.

" _I_ don't care," Tidus chuckled, picturing himself clinging to Cloud as they drove, but he could feel the corners of his mouth twitching as hurt and frustration pricked his insides.

He tried to determine whether Cloud was hiding his true feelings about the matter. Sure, Cloud probably _did_ want him to take it easy for now, but was Cloud also embarrassed to be seen with him? Or was there something far more complicated going on?

"I really think you should rest," Cloud said.

He forced one of his hands onto Tidus' arm, wanting to comfort the boy, even if it was only in some small way, but found his thumb tenderly brushing over his partner's skin, as if of its own will. Perhaps physical contact had been a bad idea. He should have known he wouldn't have the strength to let go.

Cloud cleared his throat, and tore his hand away, ignoring the hole forming in his heart—a hole that he himself had caused. He felt Tidus' eyes on him, but he couldn't look straight into them. He knew they would just be pleading with him for something that, right now, he couldn't give.

"I'll let you know as soon as I'm home, okay? We can talk for a bit," Cloud said.

"Yeah, that'd be great," Tidus said, forcing a smile.

Cloud caught only a glimpse of that false happiness as he tried to keep his gaze to himself. Cloud knew Tidus had been hoping for more, but Cloud needed his space right now. He needed to sort things out in his muddled head before he could even consider trying to explain them to Tidus.

"Have a good day, everybody," Cloud said, snatching his keys off the rack on the far counter, before heading for the door.

"Drive safely!" Tifa called out.

"See ya, Cloud," Tidus said, his voice coming out a lot weaker than he'd hoped it would. He closed his eyes as the door to the bar was pulled closed. With a deep breath, he spun back around on the bar stool to face his plate of half-eaten pancakes. Tifa turned to face him, wiping the counter clean where Cloud had previously been eating.

"Don't take it too personally, okay?" Tifa said, gently. "He's just trying to get back into the swing of things. He's just not used to having you here, you know?"

"Do you think... he doesn't _want_ me here?" Tidus asked, wanting an honest answer, even if it wasn't one he wanted to hear.

Tifa looked up at him, her brows bunching up in a look of sympathy. She shook her head. When Tidus had been hurt, she'd watched her best friend going around like a madman trying to get the proper help for him. Cloud cared deeply for Tidus; anyone could see that.

"Tidus, you should know that when you were unconscious, Cloud did everything he could think of to try and make you better." Tifa leaned over the counter as she spoke, elbows resting on the glass, voice falling into a more hushed tone.

"He brought a chair into the bedroom, and stayed there by your side, even throughout the nights. Sometimes I had to bring him a blanket and food, just 'cause he was too darn stubborn to leave. That first week, he hardly left you at all," she explained, expression soft. Tidus' heart warmed a little at the sound of that, but his mind still wandered ahead.

"What about... the week after that?" he questioned, voice quieting. Tifa knew he was digging to see when Cloud had become distant from him, but she was determined to keep him at ease.

"He wants you here, I'm sure. Give him a chance, okay? He'll come around. If you know Cloud at all, then you know it takes him a while to adjust to change."

"Yeah," Tidus replied, with a sigh. He thought back to the months it had taken just for Cloud to let go enough to let him in. Perhaps this was the same kind of deal, but Tidus hoped the wait would be much shorter this time around. He shook his head in defeat as he stuffed another morsel of pancake into his mouth.

"Yeah, I know."

* * *

It was late by the time Cloud got home that night. Tidus had tried his very hardest to stay up waiting for him, but he started to realize that Cloud might have been right about him needing to rest up. His eyes kept falling shut. His whole body was shaky and weak. Finally, he gave up and went to bed. He wasn't impressed when he awoke a few hours later with his stomach growling hungrily. He tried for several minutes to ignore it, but eventually, he heaved a sigh, and tossed the covers off of his tired body.

He crept noiselessly to the door, careful not to wake Marlene who was sleeping in the next bed over, and tiptoed downstairs. The steps were cold on his bare feet, but he forgot all about that when he reached the bottom of the stairwell. There in the bar sat Cloud, alone, and—to Tidus' surprise—looking a little drunk.

A tall bottle of champagne sat on the counter in front of Cloud, leftover from Tifa's birthday, though they had hardly drunk any of it at the time of the party. Beside it, a half-consumed glass, and Tidus didn't want to know how many times that glass had been emptied before he'd walked in.

Quietly, so not to startle Cloud, Tidus stepped forward into the bar. Cloud looked up when he heard him approaching, but his face showed no expression. There was no trace of sadness, or anger, or even the more subtle emotions of happiness that sometimes trickled to the surface.

"Hey there, Cloud," Tidus greeted, softly, as he took a seat beside his partner. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Cloud replied, voice low. He pushed the champagne bottle away from himself, and ducked his head slightly. "You weren't supposed to see me like this," he said, embarrassed.

"I'm not here to judge," Tidus promised, raising his hands in a surrendering motion. Cloud released a sigh and Tidus lowered his hands. He tried to analyze his companion—the way he was slumped over the bar counter, the way he was avoiding his gaze, the way he just hadn't been himself the past couple of days.

"I just wanted to make sure you're really alright. Things have been a little weird since I came to."

"I'm fine," Cloud lied. "Are _you_ alright? Have you been settling in okay and everything?"

"I'm, uh... I'm okay," Tidus replied, with a slight frown. "I mean, it'd be nice if you were around more." He saw Cloud's brows twitch into a look of guilt.

"You know, 'cause I kinda like ya," Tidus grinned. The playful look on his face went unseen by Cloud, as Cloud continued to avoid his gaze.

"I told Tifa about us today," Cloud said.

"Oh? That was fast. How did it go?" Tidus questioned. Cloud scoffed, harshly.

"Well, let's just say it was one awkward conversation I'd rather not have again, but... Honestly, she already knew."

"She did?"

"She said you two talked about me a while back, and she kind of got the feeling that you... felt something for me. And, she saw us together that last day... on the battlefield," Cloud said, with another sigh. "We did kiss. Guess that was pretty good evidence."

"But she was okay with it, right?" Tidus quizzed, raising his brows, and Cloud nodded. "So, that's good, right?"

Cloud suddenly let his head fall into his palm, startling his companion. Tidus stared at him worriedly. His eyes were closed tightly, and Tidus wasn't sure if he was in pain or fighting off tears.

"Hey, hey," Tidus said, softly, as he got up from his bar stool. He closed the distance between himself and Cloud, and wrapped an arm around Cloud's back. His other hand stroked Cloud's forearm.

"I'm here, buddy. Just tell me what's going on."

Tidus' gentle voice was enough for Cloud to let go of his secrets. This was _his_ Tidus, the Tidus who had listened to his every problem, and had met those problems with comfort and understanding. Cloud had learned long ago that he never had to hold back with Tidus; Tidus could handle the tough, personal, and painful conversations. He could listen to stories about Zack, and not feel slighted. Cloud wanted to believe he could tell him anything.

"Okay," Cloud breathed, swallowing his emotions and preparing himself to speak. "Why don't you take a seat?"

Tidus was hesitant to release Cloud from his grasp—he wanted to comfort Cloud as much as he could—but he did as Cloud suggested, wanting to hear Cloud's problems without a fight. Once Tidus had situated himself on his bar stool, Cloud sucked in a deep breath.

"The past couple of weeks... have just been really hard. Not knowing if you would ever wake up, not knowing if you would be the same if you did. We didn't know how badly you'd been hurt. The doctor said you seemed fine, but I couldn't help but think..." Cloud said, quietly, as if even to speak of it was causing him pain.

"I'm okay. Really," Tidus assured him with a small smile. Cloud didn't see that smile, but he could hear it in Tidus' voice.

"I know, but the fear... I just can't shake it," Cloud whispered.

"What fear?"

"The fear of losing you," Cloud said, honestly, facing his companion. Tidus swallowed, and reached for Cloud's hand.

"I'm not going anywhere," Tidus promised, his brows curling up into a concerned look. "Why are you so worried?"

Cloud released another bitter chuckle.

"Well, as you know, I have a tendency of losing things that are important to me."

Despite his abashment of having Tidus see him drink, he reached for his glass once more and downed its remaining contents. At least now, he could blame the alcohol if secrets and tears started seeping out of him. Tidus simply watched, unsure of what to say next. Luckily, Cloud continued on.

"And I didn't know what to tell Tifa. I wanted to stay at your side all the while you were unconscious. Hell, the first week, I did. I sat by your bed day after day. Tifa had to drag me out of there sometimes. But, I knew she might suspect something, and start asking questions that I didn't know how to answer. And I knew I had to admit to myself that you might never..." Cloud paused, swallowing painfully, not even daring to tempt fate by finishing that sentence.

"So, I eventually I just got back to work, taking on deliveries, but... I shouldn't have given up on you. I _should_ have been here when you woke up."

"It doesn't matter. It wasn't all that interesting. I sat up, drank some water. Wasn't much of a show," Tidus chuckled lightly. When Cloud didn't react, Tidus spoke on.

"So, why _did_ you tell Tifa about us today? I thought you wanted some time."

"I did, but, I couldn't wait any longer. I'm damn sick o' being lonely. I just want to be with you," Cloud said, his gaze flickering toward Tidus, then back down to the counter. "I don't want to hide it anymore."

Tidus was silent for a moment, letting the words register in his tired head, before squeezing Cloud's hand.

"Well, good," he smiled. "I don't want to hide it, either."

Tidus got up from his chair and took a step toward Cloud. He leaned over just enough so that he could press a light kiss to the side of Cloud's face. Cloud closed his eyes, and gratefully accepted the show of affection.

"Now, is that all that's going on in your worried little noggin?" Tidus maintained a lighthearted expression as he spoke. He brushed a hand over Cloud's head, then let that hand travel to his shoulder.

"I wish it was," Cloud replied. '

Tidus was disappointed that there were still heavy thoughts weighing down on Cloud's weary mind, and he wasn't sure how much good talking about it was going to help tonight; after all, Cloud wasn't in the best state of mind to be listening to advice. Who knew what he would do with the information he was given when fatigue and alcohol had the best control over his brain? Regardless, Tidus wanted Cloud to feel he could talk to him, and for Cloud to get his problems off his chest. He supposed the alcohol could at least help him in that regard; it made Cloud able to speak a lot more freely.

"Tell me. It's okay," Tidus coaxed, softly.

"Well," Cloud sighed. Tidus could hear his voice shaking already. "I don't really understand how you ended up here in this world when we didn't even ask Cosmos to arrange it."

"We _were_ holding hands right before we got sent back, right? And I remember my hand getting really hot when you disappeared. Maybe it was a physical contact thing, and I got pulled along with you?" Tidus asked.

"Yeah, I wondered that, too. And, it might not even matter, but it does make me worry because of how things ended with Cosmos."

"She sacrificed herself, didn't she? To save us?"

"I think she did," Cloud nodded. "Cosmos' intentions for us, and for herself... They were all a big question mark from the beginning."

"Yeah," Tidus agreed, though he figured there was more to what Cloud was saying.

"And in the end, I have to wonder whether or not she intended for us to be sent back together."

"Well," Tidus paused. "Why does that matter? We're both here, regardless of whether Cosmos meant for it to happen or not."

"It matters because..." Cloud swallowed before finishing his sentence. "It could mean you could get sent home, right? To Spira? Or you could disappear? Like you did before?"

Tidus frowned, surprised, and a little perturbed, that Cloud had a point on that one. He was far from Spira, far from the fayth. Was it harder for them to keep dreaming him now that he was in another world? Would he fade away if that connection became too weak? Maybe that had something to do with his two weeks of unconsciousness; they would probably never know for sure what had caused it. Tidus, however, felt no choice but to shake off his worries. Those sorts of things were out of their control.

"Maybe, I guess... But I think if either of those things was gonna happen, it would have happened by now," Tidus announced, hoping Cloud would believe him. "Hey, it's possible that when she summoned me, Cosmos might have used her magic to make me... you know, real? So the fayth wouldn't have to dream me anymore. It's possible, right?"

"Tidus..." Cloud suddenly whimpered. He slowly spun around on his bar stool to face Tidus, and pressed his head against his partner's abdomen. "Please, just make it all go away."

Tidus was startled by the contact, and by the fact that Cloud was even more intoxicated than he'd previously suspected, but he refused to be anything but supportive. Maybe he couldn't make all of Cloud's concerns go away, but he could make him forget about them, at least for a little while. With gentle hands, he coaxed Cloud to stand up, though Cloud looked rather confused.

"What are you doing?" Cloud asked, his tired eyes trying to understand.

"We're gonna talk about this, okay? We'll talk about anything you want, but not tonight," Tidus said, softly.

Cloud still looked confused, but things became clearer as he felt a gentle tug—Tidus coaxing him into his arms—and Cloud immediately leaned into his lover's embrace. Cloud released an unsteady breath, and closed his eyes as he rested his head against Tidus' shoulder. It felt good to be there in that embrace, with Tidus' warm arms around his back—those arms that offered more than just warmth, but comfort, and love, and hope.

"It's okay," Tidus murmured for what felt like the hundredth time that night, raising a hand to Cloud's head. He held it close against his shoulder, and stroked the unruly blond spikes that no other creature could ever hope to imitate. "You got overwhelmed, but don't worry. _We're_ gonna figure everything out."

They stood there for several long, silent minutes, swaying slightly back and forth in tiny, fluid motions—almost like they were dancing. Tidus didn't even consider speaking again until he felt Cloud fully relax in his arms. Even after the tension had finally left Cloud's body, Tidus decided to remain quiet, simply relishing in the feeling of having Cloud so close to him again. They stayed like that for so long that Cloud began to nod off, his body growing limp in Tidus' arms, then snapping back upright as he woke up.

"You're exhausted. You wanna turn in for the night?" Tidus whispered.

"No," Cloud murmured, sleepily. "Not yet. Just hold me."

Tidus met Cloud's request with a small smile and pressed a kiss to his soft hair. Problem solving could wait until tomorrow. Right now, the best option was simply to bask in each other's warmth. They both needed it, both deserved it. Respite had been a long time coming.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ...And there. Chapter 35 was also a long time coming, wasn't it? Sorry I took so long on this one. This is one of my favourite chapters (also, it contains one of my favourite lines: when Tidus says "You know, 'cause I kinda like ya." Waah, I love it), but I hope it was worth the wait. I'm super happy to have been hearing from a few more people over the past little while, so thanks to those of you who messaged & reviewed! It means so much as a writer to receive support, especially for something like fanfiction where fellow fandom lovers are the only ones who can really give you any credit for your work. Besides yourself, of course! You have to love to write for yourself, first and foremost! But still, I appreciate each and every reader, and thank you all for sticking with me all this time! I look forward to sharing Chapter 36!


	36. Tolerance

**Chapter 36: Tolerance**

"How're you feelin'?" came a curious little voice, as Tidus peeked around the doorway to Cloud's bedroom.

He wasn't surprised to see the room looking as out of sorts as Cloud did. The blankets on the bed were strewn about, like Cloud had tossed the covers off in a hurry that morning after already having a poor sleep. Cloud glanced behind him and released a sigh, a sheepish look on his amazingly still charming face.

"I've been better," he admitted, downing a pill with a glass of water to ease his aching head. Tidus could see dark circles under his eyes now that he had turned to face him.

"Rough night, huh?" Tidus asked, sympathetically.

"I'm really sorry you had to see me like that." Cloud lowered his eyes as he spoke, looking ashamed. "I don't normally drink."

"That's okay," Tidus assured him, a light half-smile on his face.

Cloud bravely met his gaze, and Tidus silently sought Cloud's permission to enter the room. Cloud gave a gentle nod, and Tidus approached him, pulling him into a warm embrace, one that Cloud graciously returned. Cloud breathed in deeply, and let it out, feeling himself relax as he usually did when he was in Tidus' arms.

"It's gonna be a long day on the road," Cloud sighed, his head falling weakly against Tidus' shoulder.

"Wait, you're still going to work?" Tidus asked, raising a brow.

"Yeah. Don't want Tifa to find out what happened last night," Cloud replied, though he figured she would put two and two together pretty easily when she discovered the majority of the champagne gone.

"Listen, Cloud, about last night..." Tidus started. "If there's anything at all you want to talk about—"

"Thanks, but, I'll be fine," Cloud shook his head, pulling away from the embrace, and mustering a half-convincing smile. Tidus frowned.

It appeared that Cloud was back to his closed-off, inhibited self now that the alcohol had worn off, and Tidus tried not to let himself get frustrated. Cloud had always been a tough nut to crack; this was nothing new. Cloud ambled over to his desk where papers were scattered from one end to the other. He shuffled through them until he found his keys hidden somewhere underneath the mess.

"Just... keep close to home, okay? I don't want anything to happen to you," Cloud said, his eyes twisted up into some sort of playful, yet sad look that Tidus, for the life of him, couldn't place. It was like Cloud was trying to hide the fact that he wanted to protect him by wrapping it up in a joke. He was still scared, at least that much was certain.

"Cloud, you don't have to worry so much. I'm not gonna disappear," Tidus replied, with what he hoped was a reassuring grin. Cloud swallowed, and permitted a small smile to inch its way onto his face, though that smile still quivered with hints of sadness.

"I'm holding you to that," he announced, patting his partner on the shoulder as he strode past him. Tidus turned to watch him as he left, his gaze boring into Cloud's back. He bit his lip in distress.

He knew that the past few weeks without him had sent Cloud into a tizzy, but he was back now. He was awake, and healthy, but Cloud was still terrified, and Tidus was lost when it came to figuring out how to take away the last of those fears. Until Cloud felt at ease, Tidus would be just as unsettled as he was, forever scrambling to find a solution. Would things between them _ever_ be easy? Tidus was beginning to wonder.

* * *

Wind whipped through Cloud's hair as he rode out of the city. Fenrir rumbled beneath his body, its wheels tearing up the ground below. Normally, being on the open road was the perfect remedy for Cloud's troubled mind, as he usually found that the fresh air and scenic landscape cleared his head, but right now, his thoughts remained on Tidus. Poor Tidus that Cloud had left behind... again.

It wasn't like Cloud enjoyed the distance; in fact, he sort of loathed it, but for now, a bit of distance made him feel safe. Having Tidus in this world was a blessing that Cloud wasn't about to take for granted, but with that blessing came a plethora of fears. Cloud was a bundle of nerves, worrying that Tidus might get hurt, or might be lonely here, or might disappear, or even get sent back to Spira if the universe decided to correct itself.

Cloud shook his head, not particularly wanting his mind to delve any deeper into the problems back home, but it wandered there anyway. Even if Tidus was able to stay in this world, Cloud worried he might let Tidus down somehow, or lose him altogether. What if he couldn't love Tidus enough? What if he couldn't give Tidus everything he needed? If they were ever to separate, Tidus would be forced to go on in this unfamiliar world without him, and Cloud didn't want to feel responsible for Tidus' imprisonment in this world.

And that's what it would be, right? Imprisonment? After all, if not for Cloud, Tidus probably wouldn't have been dragged into this strange world at all. Wouldn't Tidus blame Cloud for getting him stuck here? Cloud didn't ever want Tidus to resent him for that.

There was also the deafening fear that rang out in Cloud's frightened mind, reminding him for the millionth time that there was always a chance that something worse than a breakup could separate them. He could lose Tidus, just as he'd lost Zack, and that made Cloud want to keep Tidus safe from everything he could—Shinra, monsters, even disease. He knew it was impossible to protect him from everything, but felt it was stupid not to try at all.

It wasn't like these fears were new to Cloud. He had worried about many of the same things when he and Tidus had first become involved, but now that they were out of Cosmos' world, everything seemed so much more real. Now that they were here in Cloud's world, it felt like they should be even more committed to each other, because maybe for Tidus, there really was no going back home.

As Cloud's mother had always said, ' _home is where the heart is',_ and if that was the case, then Cloud was the only one who could make _this_ world feel like Tidus' home. And Cloud wanted that, more than anything. He wanted Tidus to love it here, to be happy here, and Cloud had to help make that happen. He had to be there for Tidus, now more than ever, but with that responsibility came concern.

For several nights now, Cloud had been plagued with nightmares. Many involved Zack's death, and encounters with the Zack manikin back in Cosmos' world, which were normal nightmares for Cloud, but for the first time in a long time, Cloud dreamt of Tidus' death. He dreamt of his pale body, his gorgeous blue eyes hidden beneath frozen lids. The warmth that he always carried with him was gone as Cloud placed a hand to his skin. Night after night, Cloud held Tidus close, trying desperately to stop his injured body from bleeding out, but was never successful. It was always either Jecht, Kuja, or Sephiroth—all the people who had hurt Tidus in the past—who would stand there laughing as Cloud tried to save him, but Tidus always died in Cloud's arms before he could. After that, Cloud would wake up in a cold sweat, feeling even less rested than when he'd first gone to bed.

He knew it was crazy to worry so much—even Tidus himself had told him that—but Cloud felt Tidus was his responsibility now. It was unlikely he would have ended up in this world if not for him, and Cloud wasn't about to let it end in disaster. He felt he had to do everything he could to make this relationship last, and to keep them both alive and kicking until it really was their time to go.

Cloud wanted to open up to Tidus with everything he had, to cross bridges they hadn't yet ventured across, but Cloud feared that opening up, and becoming even closer would drive him to be even more afraid of losing Tidus than he already was. Since Tidus had recovered from his coma-like state, Cloud had wanted to be as near to him as he could, yet he forced himself to retain a distance between them, not wanting to get too attached before he figured out exactly how their relationship was going to differ from how it had been in Cosmos' world, and whether or not things were going to work here as well as they had back there.

In Cosmos' world, things had been simpler. They'd had the same mission, and the same friends. Now, Tidus had to learn to fit into the small family at Seventh Heaven with Cloud, and Marlene, and Tifa. There would be times when living with Marlene and Tifa would not permit them to be as close as they would like. There would also be times when Cloud went to work, and Tidus would be left to busy himself with something around the house. Perhaps, in time, Tidus would find some type of employment as well, but Cloud wasn't going to suggest something like that so soon after his arrival in this world. Tidus needed to get his bearings first.

Cloud breathed in deeply, the pleasant smell of grass and trees filling his nose. It relaxed him a little, but not as much as he'd hoped it would. To no surprise of his own, deep down in the pit of his stomach was a feeling of anxiety, but one not solely caused by fear; it was pleasant, and exciting, but it was also induced by one of his most potent concerns. He kept thinking back to his and Tidus' last night in Cosmos' world, when they'd talked about taking the next intimate step in their relationship. Cloud wanted so badly to take that step, and he knew Tidus did, too.

Cloud remembered how incredible it had felt to be with Zack in that way. He realized that it being his first time had deeply impacted his emotions, but he remembered how much closer he'd felt to Zack afterwards. Of course, he was sure other guys like Barret and Cid would mock him endlessly if they knew; they would tell him to man up, that sex was no big deal, but to Cloud, it was. Cloud was sensitive, and he was honestly proud to say that he wasn't like most other guys in that regard.

He remembered how after his first time, he'd felt even more in love with Zack than ever before, and how subtle changes had taken place in the way they communicated with each other—Zack would ruffle his hair a little more tenderly, Cloud would speak his name a little more softly. Of course, Cloud wanted those things for himself and Tidus, too, and he felt selfish for even thinking about postponing it any longer, but the most terrifying part of it all was the fear that he might lose a little piece of Zack when they eventually did take that step. After all, that was one thing that Cloud had only ever done with Zack; it was the only thing that still remained _theirs_.

The truth was, ever since Cloud had gotten back to his world, things had been different. Back in Cosmos' world, he'd felt he'd made progress. He'd been able to move on. Of course, not completely, but enough so that he could be with Tidus, and not feel like he owed Zack anything but to live his life. When he came home, however, it was like he could feel Zack around him again, watching over him like he always had. After that, the guilt had come rushing back.

It didn't matter that Cloud loved Tidus. It didn't matter that Cloud _wanted_ to move on, and feel okay about it like he had back in Cosmo's world. No, all that mattered was the guilt. He couldn't ignore it. He felt that by having Tidus in this world, by _loving_ Tidus in this world, he was betraying Zack on his own turf. He knew it was unreasonable, but Zack had given him so much... If he really was watching over Cloud, then how could Cloud flaunt Tidus right in front of him?

Cloud heaved a sigh, and brought his motorcycle to a stop outside Kalm. He pulled the keys from the ignition and collected his clients' packages from the back of the bike. He forced himself to focus on the job he'd set out to do, and tried to convince himself that he and Tidus would figure everything out together. Cloud just wished he wasn't so afraid to let Tidus into the remaining depths of his heart. Cloud didn't know what he was more afraid of: not loving Tidus enough, or loving him far too much.

* * *

"Knock, knock," Tifa announced, her knuckles rapping lightly against the door to the guest room. Tidus pulled one of Cloud's grey T-shirts over his head before opening up, and greeted Tifa with a cheerful smile.

"I've got something for you," Tifa grinned, holding out a clothes hanger; Tidus' eyes lit up when he saw his familiar outfit hanging from it.

"My clothes!" he beamed, taking the hanger from her and running a hand over the clothing. He smiled at the sensation of the familiar Zanarkand knit under his fingertips; it made home seem not so far away.

"Just got them back from the dry cleaner. Had to get the blood out of them after you hit your head, and I had to do some mending, but they look pretty good now," Tifa smiled.

"Yeah," Tidus nodded. "Better than they've looked in months. Thanks." Tidus continued to glow as he carefully lay his well-loved uniform down on the bed.

"Um, if you're not too busy after you get changed, would you mind helping me look for something? Cloud needs some papers, and I haven't been able to find them," Tifa said, running a hand through her hair, making it look a little untidy. It matched her slightly frazzled demeanor. "I feel like I've looked everywhere."

"Sure thing. Might as well make myself useful while I'm here," Tidus chuckled, rubbing the back of his bandaged head.

"Thanks. I'm just gonna check on Marlene, then I'll meet you in Cloud's room. I dread having to look through his desk, but it seems like the only other place those papers could be," Tifa shrugged.

"Okay. He's not gonna freak if we go in there, is he?" Tidus asked, raising a brow. Cloud was such a private person, Tidus wouldn't have been surprised if Cloud was private about his desk as well.

"I doubt it. He knows I look there for business papers sometimes," Tifa answered.

"Alright," Tidus nodded. "I'll get dressed and see you in a few."

"Yeah," Tifa smiled, as she turned and headed for the stairs.

Tidus shut the door lightly behind her, and happily trotted toward his clothes. Quickly, he undressed, and pulled them on. He folded Cloud's clothes as neatly as he could and set them in the top drawer, then went to look at himself in the full-length mirror behind the door. He beamed when he saw himself.

He knew there wasn't much point in wearing his Zanarkand Abes outfit anymore. He was doubtful he would ever even get to play Blitzball again, but it felt good to be back in his own clothes. He felt more like himself, even if they weren't the most practical clothes for everyday life; he liked them, and they were easy to move in, which had made them great fighting clothes as well. And besides, he wanted to see the look on Cloud's face when he walked in and saw him looking less like a medical patient and more like a human being again.

Tidus scrutinized himself in the mirror. There was one more thing to go. With careful hands, he unpeeled the medical tape and square bandage from his temple; he squinted his eyes, as the tape did hurt a bit when it pulled off. He was relieved, however, when only a thin, red line was visible once the bandage was gone. At least the cut had healed well. He figured stitches had been involved at some point. He kind of wished that red line would remain a scar to mark his arrival in this world.

With another smile, Tidus tossed the bandage and tape in the garbage can by the door before heading into Cloud's room. Tifa was already in there, a file folder in her hands as she sat on the edge of Cloud's bed, digging through the folder's papers vigorously. She glanced up when Tidus entered the room.

"Hey, looking good," she smiled.

"Thanks. I finally feel like me again," Tidus grinned.

"Great! Okay, so, you wanna start with the desk? I'm looking for the list of clients from Fort Condor."

"Fort Condor. Got it," Tidus nodded, heading for the desk. "So, what's up with these papers, anyway?"

"Cloud called. He forgot to look up the client for one of his deliveries today. Funny. Not like him to be forgetful," Tifa said. Tidus let out a nervous chuckle.

"He's probably just having an off-day," he smiled.

Tidus shuffled through paper after paper. It was obvious Cloud needed to spend some time organizing his desk. There seemed to be no end to the slew of papers, all scattered across the desk in messy, overlapping piles. Eventually, Tidus started a new pile on the corner of the desk. Every paper he looked at, he stacked there, not wanting them to end up in the mix again.

"So, how are things going, Tidus? You settling in okay?" Tifa asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. I like it here," Tidus smiled, glancing in her direction, and meeting her gaze for a fleeting moment.

"And, you and Cloud? Things are okay?"

"I heard he told you about us," Tidus said, his fingers suddenly becoming a little more clumsy.

"He did," Tifa nodded, then she paused, and looked up at Tidus with an honest, respectful smile on her face. "I'm really glad you were able to reach him. I know how lonely he was before he met you. I didn't think he'd open up to anyone easily, though."

"Heh, you're right about that," Tidus agreed, his gaze flickering toward Tifa, then nervously darting back down. He decided not to let her in on the fact that they were a little distant these days, and instead focused on all the amazing experiences they'd had along the way. "But it was worth it."

"I'm so happy for you both," Tifa said, smiling again.

"Thanks," Tidus smiled back. "Me, too."

Tifa returned to the desk a moment later, and placed her file folder on Tidus' discard pile before retrieving another folder from the desk drawer. With a sigh, she slumped back down on Cloud's bed, and began flipping through the new batch of papers. Tidus frowned when he caught sight of something in the pile, something that contrasted to the white papers around it.

Tidus dug it out: a brown, leather-bound book. Cloud's name was neatly etched into its cover in capital letters. Tidus was startled when something fell from within its pages. He glanced down onto the desk to where it had landed. Carefully, he set the book down, and picked up the fallen photograph instead.

The corners of the photo were dog-earred, and one corner was completely charred, like it had been through a fire. On the right stood Sephiroth, his usual stoic look on his face, and his silver hair as long as ever. In the middle was Tifa, dressed in some sort of cowgirl outfit. Tidus gave a small smile. She must have been a lot younger then. Finally, on the left... Tidus was sure he knew that figure, too.

"Tifa, is this Zack?" Tidus asked, turning the photo toward her and pointing to it.

"Yeah, that's him," Tifa nodded.

"When was this taken?"

"Oh, must have been five years ago now. I don't know how much Cloud told you about this, but when he was sixteen, Cloud came back to our hometown, Nibelheim, with a few other members of the Shinra army. That's me, Zack, and Sephiroth in Nibelheim before they set off to investigate our mako reactor."

"Mako reactor?" Tidus repeated, looking baffled.

"Cloud's still got a lot to explain, huh? Sorry about that."

"That's okay. So, Cloud was here then, too? Were he and Zack...?" Tidus fumbled. Tifa understood the rest of that unfinished question by Tidus' curious, yet timid stare.

"Yeah, they were together at that point, but, of course, I didn't know that then. I doubt Cloud had told anyone at that point," Tifa said, standing up and coming to stand beside Tidus to obtain a better view of the photo.

"What happened to this picture? Looks like it's seen better days," Tidus said, eyeing the blackened corner.

"A few days after this was taken, Sephiroth set the town on fire. This was one of the few things that was salvaged, although at that point, the last thing I wanted to see was a picture of those guys from Shinra," Tifa said, a distant bitterness in her voice. Tidus swallowed, unsure of whether he wanted to know the rest of the story, but Tifa kept talking.

"After I found out about Zack's importance to Cloud, however, I... I gave this to Cloud as a gift. It was the only picture either of us had of Zack, and... You should have seen his face when he saw it."

Tidus was silent for a moment as he tried to picture what kind of face Cloud might have worn. He wasn't sure how joyous a reaction it would have been. Seeing Zack again... It must have been hard on Cloud in a way, even if it was nice to have a physical reminder of someone so special.

"Poor Cloud," Tidus acknowledged, his voice growing solemn. "He really did lose a lot, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did," Tifa nodded. She cocked her head to the side when she saw the woeful look on Tidus' face, his eyes still focused on the photograph. "You've helped him so much, though."

"You think?" Tidus asked, quirking a brow.

"I do see a change in him," Tifa assured him, and Tidus fell quiet, mulling that over. He hoped that was true. He hoped that he wasn't the only one who had noticed a significant difference in Cloud since he had worked his way into his life.

"Still, I feel like there's a lot he doesn't tell me. I mean, I didn't know any of this." He let the photo fall back onto the desk.

"Maybe he hasn't found the right time yet, but don't worry. I know he will."

"I hope so," Tidus nodded, but his thoughts wandered.

He eyed the leather book intently. He knew he shouldn't pry, but he wanted a glimpse of whatever other memories Cloud had tucked away within it. Perhaps the answers to his remaining questions lay within that book.

Bravely, Tidus flipped open the first page. A photo of a blonde woman was set in the middle of a parchment-colored page. The woman looked about thirty or so, and she wore an apron over her slim body. She stood in front of a building that looked similar to the one in the previous photo—Tidus guessed this was Nibelheim as well—and judging by the familiar smile on the woman's face as she waved toward the camera... Yes, Tidus was sure this was Cloud's mother.

Tidus flipped to the next page. A small blond boy sat on top of a wooden water well, his hair tied back in a ponytail. He wore a black shirt and green shorts, and wore a wide smile across his rounded face. Tidus' heart felt light. It was weird to see Cloud so young, so innocent and happy, but it was amazing, too. It thrilled him to know that there were times in Cloud's life when he truly was carefree. Unfortunately, the small smile that had appeared on Tidus' face quickly vanished as another realization hit him.

That poor, smiling, young Cloud in the photo had no idea what the world had in store for him. He had no idea that the life ahead of him would be filled with so much sadness. He had no warning of the tragedies he would face, or of the damages that would be done to him and those around him. Tidus bit his bottom lip, hoping desperately that someday he would be able to bring back Cloud's smile—that same carefree smile that he was able to wear all those years ago.

Tidus forced himself to continue venturing through the book. The next photo showed a girl with brown hair, all dressed in pink. She was kneeling in what looked to be a church. All around her, white and yellow flowers were growing out of the cracked floorboards. The young woman wore a soft smile, her emerald eyes focused on whoever had taken the picture. Tidus had only ever seen her in manikin form, but considering her appearance, he assumed this was Aerith. Tidus swallowed hard. He'd been right to assume that the photos in this book were of deep importance to Cloud.

The following page was empty from where the Nibelheim photo had fallen out. Carefully, Tidus tucked it back in place under its black photo corners before turning to the final completed page in the album. The last picture was of a tall grey church, its walls accented with dozens of stained glass windows. The building looked like it had seen better days. The roof had obviously fallen in in a couple of places, and Tidus wondered if it was the same broken-down church as in the previous photo with Aerith.

"Um, Tifa, what _is_ this place?" Tidus asked, turning the book toward her so she could see.

"Oh, that's the church in Sector 5. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering. Seems like Cloud's got a lot of important pictures in here. I just didn't really understand what this one was about."

"Well," Tifa said, standing up and placing the file folder back down on Cloud's bed. She strode over to stand beside Tidus once again, and gazed down at the familiar church. "This is where Cloud formally met Aerith, and it's where Zack and Aerith first met, too."

"Does Cloud go here a lot?" Tidus asked, glancing at Tifa.

"Yeah, he does," Tifa nodded. "Of course, he doesn't say anything about it, but I have a feeling he visits quite often." Tidus grew silent as thoughts began to swirl around in his head.

"Oh, there's that list!" Tifa said suddenly, her eyes lighting up as she tugged the papers out from within the messy pile. It was a miracle she'd caught sight of them at all.

"Alright, I'm gonna give Cloud a call, let him know I found this, and then I'll make us some supper, okay? I'm sure Marlene's getting hungry downstairs," she said, turning to leave the room. "She and I are heading out to the theatre tonight. I'm taking her to see a play that's pretty popular among kids her age right now—"

Tifa paused, and turned back around when Tidus didn't move, nor respond.

"You coming?" she asked, politely, smiling.

"Oh, right," Tidus replied, snapping back into reality. "Be right there."

He listened as Tifa's footsteps faded away, then he carefully tugged the photo out of the corners of the book, and turned it around to look at the back. _Sector 5, Midgar_ , Tidus read. He quickly memorized those words, then placed the photo back where it belonged before setting the book back down on Cloud's desk. He ran a hand one last time over the soft leather album before hurrying down the stairs after Tifa.

* * *

Tidus awoke that night when he heard Cloud come upstairs. He waited until Cloud had finished up in the bathroom, then he crept into Cloud's room to find his partner already curled up in bed. Cloud's eyes were closed, but Tidus doubted he had already fallen asleep.

"Everything okay?" Cloud whispered through the darkness. He opened his eyes to see Tidus' silhouette in the doorway, though with the house empty, there wasn't much question about who it was anyway.

"Yeah, just comin' in to check on ya. Didn't expect you to be back this late." Tidus took a few more steps toward Cloud's bed, and was pleasantly surprised when Cloud lifted the covers, allowing him to crawl into the bed with him.

"No, it was a long drive back home," Cloud said, closing his eyes again as Tidus' shirtless form moved in against him. He took in a deep breath, catching the sweet scent of Tidus' freshly shampooed hair as Tidus' head rested on his shoulder.

"Feelin' any better now?" Tidus asked.

"Better than I was this morning, yeah."

"Good, 'cause I was kinda thinking..." Tidus trailed off.

Cloud frowned in confusion when Tidus sat up and leaned over to kiss him. The crease in his brows eased as he sunk into the kiss, his lips eagerly accepting Tidus' sudden affections. As Cloud wove an arm around Tidus' neck, he felt a hand at his waist, stroking his bare skin.

"We have the place to ourselves, at least for a little while," Tidus whispered, planting a few more kisses on Cloud's lips. Cloud's heart lurched when he realized what Tidus had in mind.

"Tidus..."

Tidus backed off when he felt Cloud's hand on his chest, pushing him away. He knew he'd been taking a chance when he'd come in here seeking Cloud's affections, but it didn't mean it didn't hurt to be rejected.

"Not tonight, okay?" Cloud said, softly, sitting up to face Tidus. Tidus was staring at him with timid eyes; Cloud could see them thanks to the moonlight pouring through his window.

"I didn't even mean... I didn't mean _that_ necessarily," Tidus said, quietly, rubbing his arm in embarrassment. "I just wanted to be with you for a little while. Like we were back in Cosmos' place."

"I'm sorry," Cloud said, shaking his head, voice low. "I'm just... not in the mood."

Tidus fell silent. He knew it wouldn't take long to _get_ Cloud in the mood, if Cloud had wanted to, but from the vibes Cloud was sending him just then, he knew Cloud _really_ didn't want to fool around.

"Is something wrong?" Tidus frowned.

"No, not really."

"Then, do you not... Cloud, are you ever gonna...?"

"What?" Cloud asked, head sliding gently to the side.

"Are you ever gonna want to _be_ with me? In _that_ way?" Tidus asked. He was glad it was dark enough to mask his reddening cheeks.

Cloud suppressed a sigh. He could see the pain and confusion in Tidus' eyes, and he wasn't quite sure how he could take it away while still being honest with both Tidus and himself.

"I do want to," Cloud nodded, and that part was the truth. He reached for Tidus' hand, and held it tightly within his own. "It's just sort of a hard time for me right now. I'm still trying to figure a lot of things out," Cloud said, speaking slowly as if he was thinking carefully about each word before he said them, but maybe he'd chosen a little too carefully; Tidus was still left wondering what he meant.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" came Tidus' next question, as he basked in Cloud's gentle touch—the way those soft fingers circled over the back of his hand.

"I don't know," Cloud said, honestly, forcing a soft smile.

"'Cause, you know, I'm here. Even if you're not drunk, you can still talk to me about stuff," Tidus said, the smallest smile on his face. He was thankful when Cloud released a chuckle. It sounded like he'd really needed that laugh; there was definite relief in his voice.

"I know," Cloud said.

"Good," Tidus replied, giving him a small smile. This time, Cloud leaned in to him, and pressed a light kiss to his lips. Tidus' eyes fluttered hazily open as Cloud pulled away.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"Everything," Cloud said, softly, the corners of his mouth twitching upward slightly.

Tidus smiled a little wider, and lay back down on the bed. He was relieved when Cloud lay down next to him, his pale arm weaving its way around his waist. Tidus pulled Cloud in against him, holding him close. Cloud's head rested on Tidus' shoulder now, and Tidus let his eyes fall softly shut. It had been too long since they'd been this close.

"Do you want to talk?" Tidus asked, sounding hopeful.

"Actually, Tidus, I do need to talk to you about something," Cloud said, his eyes darting briefly toward Tidus. He looked a little ashamed, but Tidus met his fear with an understanding smile.

"Go ahead," he coaxed, softly. Cloud propped himself up on his elbow, and closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing hard. When they opened again, his eyes focused on the bedsheets, far from Tidus' gaze.

"You've never given me a reason not to trust you, so..." Cloud trailed off, and paused for so long that Tidus didn't think he would ever finish without being coaxed to do so.

"Cloud, what is it?" Tidus asked, gently—worriedly, even. Cloud's gaze drifted and locked with Tidus' for a moment, just long enough for him to gain the confidence he needed to continue.

"I don't know why, but when I got back to this world, things just felt... different. Maybe they wouldn't have if we'd spent those first two weeks together, but while you were unconscious, things started to change," Cloud explained, only making eye contact every now and then.

Tidus' stomach flipped. Cloud's words sounded a lot like the beginning of the end, and Tidus prayed that the conversation wouldn't lead to that. Cloud wouldn't break his heart, would he? Not now, after everything...

"I can't explain why, but ever since I got back, I've had this weight hanging over me. It's like I can feel Zack watching over me, and when I'm with you, I feel guilty. Because of him."

Tidus nodded slowly, trying to understand. Cloud's eyes were locked onto him now, awaiting a reaction. There was fear in those mako-infused eyes, a fear that Tidus hoped to ease as quickly as possible. Tidus imagined himself in Cloud's position. There was just something about first loves that stuck with a person. If Yuna had died, and if Tidus had believed for a second she was still with him in spirit, then Tidus probably would have felt a little guilty, too, having Cloud on his arm all the time.

"Well, that's normal... I think," Tidus said, forcing a small smile.

"Is it?" Cloud asked. "I don't feel like it can be. Anything that keeps me from you can't be..." Cloud trailed off again, and bit his lip as emotions rushed to the surface. Cloud's fist gripped the bedsheets below him tightly.

"Cloud, are you okay?" Tidus asked, scooting forward to lessen the distance between them. A hand reached Cloud's shoulder, and the mere comfort of the gesture nearly reduced Cloud to tears. He shook his head as he blinked away the water at his eyes.

"Tidus, I need help," he whispered.

"I'm here. I'll help," Tidus said, quickly, lowering his head a little in an attempt to meet Cloud's gaze again. He was unsuccessful.

"You can't," Cloud whimpered. Tidus was both surprised and confused by those words, but he refused to let them scare him.

"Why not?" Tidus tried again, raising a second hand to rest on Cloud's other shoulder, and allowing his thumb to gently graze over the cool skin. He could feel Cloud trembling under his touch.

"Because getting over Zack is harder for me than it should be, and I honestly just don't know _how_ you can help this time," Cloud confessed, his mournful eyes meeting Tidus' gentle ones. Tidus was silent, and Cloud wasn't sure he wanted to know what he was thinking.

"Back in Cosmos' world, I'd finally begun to feel free of the past, and now, I just feel like forgetting the past is selfish. But I didn't want to have to tell you that. I don't want to hurt you," Cloud went on with a sigh, his voice shaking as he spoke.

There was silence for several long seconds, and Cloud was beginning to regret speaking at all. He waited for what seemed like forever for Tidus to respond, but Tidus was just taking his time to form his best answers.

"But, Cloud, you're not _forgetting_ the past. You'll never forget, and I don't think you should. It's all a part of you."

A smile was audible in Tidus' voice, and Cloud felt weak at the sound. He wondered how Tidus could still be so understanding of all of this, so considerate and tolerant. Even when he felt like a mess, Tidus still _got_ him. They were connecting, even now when Cloud felt so detached.

"Then what do I do now? I feel like I'm... split in two," Cloud divulged, eyes closing in a pained expression as he tried to explain. "The part that's bound to Zack, and the part that's bound to you. Can they coexist? Or have I just been fooling myself all this time?"

"I don't know," Tidus said, honestly. "Cloud? I think your fears now are the same ones you were feeling back in Cosmos' world. They've just resurfaced, and feel a little stronger 'cause everything is new here. It's kinda like we've started over, and have to figure things out again, like how we're gonna fit into each other's lives. But we did it there, we can make it work here, too, even if it takes a bit more time."

"I hope you're right," Cloud whispered, brows furrowed slightly.

"We'll just have to keep trying to figure it out. Together, okay?" Tidus smiled again, his voice gentle. He ducked his head, trying to catch Cloud's gaze, but Cloud avoided it, and bit his lip. Tidus' unfaltering kindness was making it hard to keep it together.

"I mean, I get it. There are probably a million more reminders of Zack here, and part of you probably feels like I'm taking his place, and that it's not fair," Tidus went on. Cloud immediately perked up, shaking his head quickly, not wanting Tidus to feel slighted.

"No, it's not like that. I... Well, I guess before I fought for Cosmos, even though I knew I would never have a future with him, I did used to imagine Zack in that empty space in my life. A-after I regained my memories, I mean," Cloud struggled to explain. His throat was threatening to tighten, but he pushed through it, wanting to get his thoughts out into the open.

"After that, I trained myself to believe I was better off on my own, that I _deserved_ to be alone, because I wasn't strong enough to save him. Now you're here, but those feelings aren't completely gone. I just keep feeling like I'll do something to turn Zack against me, and for some reason, I just... I feel like I'll need his strength down the line."

Cloud paused to breathe, realizing he'd been chattering for a while, but Tidus' expression was soft, his eyes curious. He nodded gently, encouraging him to go on, since it looked like Cloud still had more to say.

"Maybe for me, with Zack, it's not even a romantic thing anymore. It's just safety. For you and me both. Because I want to be with you, and not have to fear losing you, or making stupid mistakes with you that make me feel like I should be alone again, and... Ugh, I'm rambling."

"No, this is good. You've gotten a lot off your chest," Tidus assured him, with a tiny smile.

"So, what do you think? Am I crazy?"

"No, buddy, you're not. I think all this is tied in with your memory loss. It wasn't that long after your journey with Tifa and the others that Cosmos summoned you, right? You were just putting the pieces back together then, and remembering a future that could have been, and ultimately, you're still trying to figure out who you are now," Tidus said, his mind easily transforming Cloud's words into explanations that would make sense to both of them.

"And let's be honest. Maybe I didn't give you enough time to do that. I pushed so hard to be with you that maybe you didn't have time to figure out who you are on your own."

"That's the last thing I want now. To be on my own," Cloud shook his head. "If I reverted back to my old ways, and crawled back into my shell, I don't know if you'd be able to pull me back out. I'm just... so afraid of screwing things up."

Cloud's voice fell into a whisper as he came to the end of his sentence, and he leaned in against Tidus, his forehead brushing conveniently against Tidus' lips. To his delight, Tidus was smart enough not to waste such a perfect opportunity, and he pressed a few kisses to Cloud's skin.

"That makes two of us," Tidus said, honestly.

"Tidus..."

"If you need me to back off, then I will. If you need to talk, then we'll talk, even about the things you think might hurt me. I can take it. You just need to be honest with yourself, okay?" Tidus offered. Cloud nodded.

"You don't need to cry," Tidus assured him with a smile. Cloud released a tearful chuckle as Tidus touched a hand to his face, a thumb grazing the bottom of Cloud's damp eyelid. Cloud released a shaky breath as he lay back down and wrapped his arms around Tidus' neck, nestling his head below his chin.

"I just hate feeling this way. I want to be with you so badly, and I'm so afraid of something happening to you that it makes me not want to waste a second of our time together. And at the same time, I don't want to feel like I'm betraying the man who saved my life. He's the only reason I even lived long enough to meet you."

"Mm, I get that. I mean, I'll probably never _fully_ understand how this feels for you, but... I'm really trying," Tidus promised, shoulders rising in a quick shrug.

"Thank you," Cloud whispered, wishing Tidus knew how much his efforts meant to him.

Tidus' arms slipped down to rest on Cloud's back. The boy knew he shouldn't pry any further, but with the pieces falling into place, there was one more thing he needed to confirm.

"Cloud, the reason we haven't slept together yet... It's because of your feelings for Zack, isn't it?" Tidus asked, though he sounded a lot braver than he felt.

Cloud closed his eyes, feeling a sudden ache in the pit of his stomach. He absolutely _did not_ want to answer that question. He wanted the bed below him to open up and swallow him so he'd never have to respond, but Tidus had said to be honest. Right now, maybe that was the best—no, _easiest—_ thing to do. Cloud was sick of hiding.

"I'm sorry," Cloud hesitantly replied, voice soft as he nodded against Tidus' neck.

"It's okay," Tidus assured him. "It's kind of a relief, actually. It means you're not repulsed by me, right?" he teased, immediately lightening the mood.

"No!" Cloud chuckled, pulling away so he could look his partner in the eye, another tearful yet incredulous smile on his face. "No, I'm definitely not repulsed by you."

He closed his eyes as Tidus cupped his face, and exchanged with him a few sweet kisses. Cloud could feel the tension leaving his body as Tidus' lips made silent promises of hope and devotion. Once Tidus had satisfied Cloud's lips, Cloud craned his neck, hoping Tidus would take advantage of the newly accessible skin. He released a contented sigh when Tidus did just that.

Cloud couldn't put into words how much he appreciated this, how much he _loved_ this. Even after confessing his remaining feelings for Zack, Tidus was still rewarding him with sweet kisses and a kindness that Cloud didn't even feel he deserved. Moving on was never easy, but maybe with help and trust, it could be done. This was love, and no way was Cloud going to lose it this time. He swore to himself he wouldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Don't know if anyone caught this, but when Cloud says he feels like he'll "need [Zack's] strength down the line," it's a little reference to Advent Children Complete when Zack helps him through the battle with Sephiroth. Hee hee. I thought it was cute. Plus, that's my favourite scene in the movie. Anyway, that's it for now! Hope you enjoyed!


	37. Open

**Chapter 37: Open**

Cloud woke up feeling more rested than he had in days. He opened his eyes when he felt an unusual warmth in his bed, and his eyes fell upon a still sleeping Tidus. Cloud sighed softly, and moved in a little closer to that warmth, leaning his head against his companion's muscular shoulder. So, Tidus had spent the whole night here. Perhaps that was what had kept Cloud's nightmares at bay for once. If he'd known that Tidus was the remedy for those awful dreams, he probably would have avoided an empty bed for a while now.

Cloud closed his eyes as he rested there next to Tidus. Honestly, he felt sick about the night before. He'd let Tidus down. Again. Cloud was sure that if he could just get Zack out of his head, things could be different. If he really did find a way to move past all the pain and worry that was so hard to forget, then maybe joining with Tidus—both mentally and physically—would become much easier, but he couldn't blame himself for not letting go. Zack had given him too much.

"G'morning," Tidus yawned, startling Cloud. Cloud raised his head so he could meet Tidus' eyes. He forced a smile.

"Good morning."

"Did ya sleep okay?" Tidus asked, grinning softly.

"Oddly enough, I did," Cloud nodded, his smile becoming a little more natural.

"Good," Tidus beamed. Cloud lay back down and clumsily slung an arm over Tidus' waist, releasing a heavy breath as he began to relax there.

"You working today?"

"As usual," Cloud nodded again. "Can you amuse yourself again while I'm gone?"

"Yeah, I'll be okay," Tidus assured him. His mind flickered to his plan for the day, but he managed to keep a straight face. He couldn't tell Cloud about his intentions. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

"By the look of Tifa's schedule, I'm free for the next few days. I promise we'll spend some time together, okay?"

"Okay," Tidus softly grinned, hoping Cloud would keep his promise. Cloud lifted his head and pressed a kiss to Tidus' lips. Tidus draped a hand over the blankets, and gently caressed Cloud's back through the covers.

"I love you," Cloud whispered, his breath warm against Tidus' skin, and they both smiled, like they'd been needing to hear those words. It was the reassurance they needed that their feelings hadn't changed, just their circumstances had, and it seemed to shrink their list of troubles for the time being.

"I love you, too," came Tidus' half of the sincere vow.

"I'll see you this afternoon," Cloud swore, getting up from the bed. Tidus flopped his head to the side of his pillow, watching as Cloud grabbed his towel, and headed out of the room. Tidus listened for the shower to turn on, then he rushed to Cloud's desk, and began digging for the resources he would need for the day's adventure.

* * *

Tidus fumbled his way through the streets of Edge. He kept to himself for the most part, keeping his gaze low as he trekked through the foreign surroundings and passed by new faces. It was strange to see so much poverty among the townspeople. Many were dressed in stained and tattered clothing. Others were curled up in alleyways, as if it was the only home they had.

Few graciously greeted Tidus as he walked by, and Tidus wondered if his vibrant clothing and unfaltering smile made him stand out a little too much amongst the crowd. He had spent most of the morning sifting through Cloud's books and journals, and reading snippets of newspaper articles to try and understand exactly what had gone down here months ago. Taking down Shinra, trying to stop Meteor and Sephiroth... Cloud and his group had been at the heart of it all. Tidus had read about the destruction of Midgar, and how Edge had been built using many materials found in Midgar's remains. It was quite obvious that they had.

Edge was dark and gloomy, not at all what Tidus would expect from a city. _His_ city—his Zanarkand—had been bright, and bustling with people and activity even at night. Here, people were subdued, almost drifting through life, just managing to get by. And for the first time, Tidus wondered if the reason he sometimes had a hard time understanding exactly what it was that made Cloud so sad was because he'd never known Cloud's world. Cloud's whole world was sad, filled with sorrow and destruction. It was no wonder Cloud couldn't always smile when everything around him was so bad. And what was worse, Cloud probably felt he was the cause of it. After all, he hadn't been able to prevent Meteor.

"Excuse me. Is this the way to the highway?" Tidus asked, as he came upon a pleasant-looking young woman.

He pointed to his left to where a set of enormous double-doors rested in the city walls. He was glad he'd found a map in Cloud's desk drawer before setting off on this little journey; otherwise, he was sure he'd have been far more lost than he was now.

"Yes, it is. I wouldn't recommend going that way, though. You know Midgar's nothing but a pile of rubble now, right?" she said, her voice soft, like she wasn't used to talking to people.

"I know," Tidus said, nodding gently. "I guess I just wanna see it for myself."

The girl nodded in response, and watched as Tidus headed for the doors. He took a deep breath before pushing them open and gazing upon the empty highway before him. The sun was just setting over the open road, giving an orange glow to everything in sight. Tidus smiled at the beauty, and assured himself that he was doing the right thing. With courage in his heart, he took the first step onto the highway, and headed for a city long abandoned.

* * *

Tidus was relieved when he finally reached his destination in Sector 5. The church looked even more rundown than it had in the picture from Cloud's album. Tidus gazed upon the broken windows and the roof which was completely demolished on the back end. To be honest, he was a little worried about going in alone. It looked like the remains of the roof could come down at any second, but he would never forgive himself if he came this far and didn't venture inside. Besides, according to Tifa, Cloud came here often enough. It had to be fairly safe.

Bravely, Tidus climbed the grey stone steps, but bits of rock crumbled under his boots. The sound of tumbling pebbles echoed around him, piercing the eerie silence. Still, Tidus carried on, and pushed open the church's creaky walnut doors. With slow, careful steps, Tidus entered the church. He gazed first at what was left of the tall ceilings above him, which contained enough holes to make Tidus feel a little uneasy. As he continued to look around, he could see broken pillars near the front of the church. Many of the wooden pews were broken as well. Tidus stopped in his tracks when he recognized the spot in the centre of the church; a large hole in the floorboards was home to a circle of white and yellow flowers. He remembered it from the picture he had seen of Aerith. She had been sitting right there.

Tidus shivered. He felt out of place, like he didn't have a right to be here at all. This was a sacred place, a place where a hero and heroine were to be remembered. Tidus didn't want to think about what Cloud would do if he found out he was here. Tidus wondered if maybe his reason for coming here was crazy in the first place, but he'd experienced a lot of crazy things, both in Spira and with Cosmos. Surely, this couldn't be so strange.

Tidus walked forward until he reached the hole in the floorboards, and he knelt down on the cracked wood. He gazed up above him, the now purple evening sky seeping openly into the broken church roof. Tidus gave a sigh, closed his eyes, and folded his hands in his lap. He felt silly, but this was for Cloud. If there was even a chance it would work, then it was worth it.

"Hey, there, Zack. It's me. Tidus," he started. His eyes flickered open for a moment, and he glanced around him, checking for ghosts, but he was still alone. It wasn't like he was expecting Zack or Aerith to show up, but he hoped more than anything that Zack would at least hear his prayers.

Even back when Tidus had first tried to gain Cloud's trust, back when he had first confessed his feelings to Cloud, Zack had been an obstacle that Cloud just couldn't get over. Even over the months they'd spent together, Cloud's thoughts often returned to Zack, and prevented him from moving forward. Tidus was proud of how far they had come—so proud, he didn't even have the words to describe it—but he didn't want to see Cloud suffer anymore, even if only a little bit. Tidus had confirmed that memories of Zack still managed to hold Cloud back, and ever since he'd looked through Cloud's book of photographs, he'd begun to believe that maybe asking Zack for help was the best way to cure Cloud of those fears and worries that still haunted him.

At this point, he wasn't sure whether or not telling Cloud would be a good idea. He didn't know what Cloud would say to him if he found out. He didn't know if Cloud would understand why he chose to pray to Cloud's deceased partner. It was a strange way of dealing with the problems at hand, but right now, Tidus was desperate for a solution. He wanted Cloud to be happy again. He needed to close the distance between himself and Cloud before they drifted any further apart, and who would Cloud listen to if not Zack?

"You might not know who I am. Well, I guess if you've been watching over Cloud, then maybe you do," Tidus went on. His eyes remained closed, but he listened hard, though he didn't know exactly what for. The wind? A voice? Something to let him know that Zack was hearing him. Nothing interrupted the silence, but Tidus continued anyway.

"Listen, maybe I don't have a right to be praying to you right now, but I need you to know that I care about Cloud, and I know you did, too. Cloud cares pretty deeply for you, too."

Tidus paused, and breathed in deeply as he collected his thoughts. He released that breath slowly, and thought back to Cloud. Cloud's smile, Cloud's laugh. They were rare, but they meant the world to him, and he needed Zack to know that.

"I want to be with Cloud for as long as he'll let me, and I know he wants that, too, but there are things that hold him back. I know he's scared of losing me, and he's scared of letting you go. Zack, I promise you, I will take care of Cloud, but I... I need your help," Tidus said, slowly opening his eyes.

"Zack, if you still care about Cloud, and if you believe that Cloud needs me, then please... Help him let go."

Tidus gently unfolded his hands and got to his feet. He looked up at the sky, which was as still as the church around him. He gave another sigh.

"Thanks, Zack," he whispered. He turned to leave, but gasped when he saw a figure standing in the doorway of the church. A hand leapt to his chest as he stared at the man ahead.

"Tidus?" Cloud asked, a definite crease between his brows as he approached, and Tidus couldn't decide whether it was a sign of concern, disapproval, or plain confusion.

"Gee, Cloud, I didn't expect you to be here, too," Tidus said, with a nervous chuckle. Cloud continued to walk toward him, and Tidus decided it was a sternness in his expression. Tidus lowered his head, expecting he would be scolded any second for coming here.

"How did you find this place?" Cloud asked, frowning. "No, wait. How did you even _know_ about this place?" Tidus tucked his hands behind his back. His fingers tied themselves in knots as he tried to explain himself.

"I, uh..." Tidus started. Cloud raised a brow, and Tidus couldn't come up with a convincing lie quickly enough to fool Cloud.

"I saw it in that photo album you keep on your desk," Tidus admitted, voice low. He dared a glance up at Cloud. Cloud looked a little taken aback.

"You looked through that?"

"I'm sorry. A picture fell out of it when I was helping Tifa look for some work papers. I was curious, and I guess... I got a little carried away." Cloud was silent for a long moment, and he took a few strides toward Aerith's garden before crouching down in front of it. He ran a hand through the flowers, and Tidus felt he had to interrupt the silence.

"Are you mad?" he dared to ask.

"No," Cloud answered, but it was hard to tell whether or not he meant that when his eyes were focused on the ground. "I just... don't usually let people look through it."

"Why not?"

"There are just... a lot of private things in that book. A lot of important memories that I don't like to talk about."

"Not even with me?" Tidus tried.

"Tidus..." Cloud groaned, his eyes still focused on the flowers.

Tidus backed off, but his mind burned; Cloud's words frustrated him. Even now, it seemed Cloud wasn't ready to discuss his past with him. He wasn't willing to familiarize Tidus with his memories, good or bad. Tidus was as helpless as ever, getting nowhere fast with the stubborn chocobo-head.

Both were struck by silence, and eventually, Tidus knelt down beside Cloud, pushing his irritation aside. He knew he had to be patient.

"Are these Aerith's flowers?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah. This was pretty much the only place they grew down here. Aerith, she... She loved them."

"And you love them, too?"

"Mm-hmm," Cloud replied. "They remind me of her. And of Zack." Tidus lowered a hand down into the flowers as well, the petals brushing softly against his fingertips.

"They're nice," he said, softly. Cloud released a small smile, then turned his head toward his partner.

"So, are you gonna tell me what you were doing here?"

"Oh, well, you know," Tidus said, getting up from the flowers and beginning to pace. "I was just lookin' around. Getting a feel for the city, you know?"

"Is that all?" Cloud asked, his eyes following Tidus as he strolled around. Tidus stopped walking, and rubbed the back of his head. There was no sense in trying to hide it. Cloud would find out eventually anyway, because heaven knew Tidus couldn't keep a secret like that.

"And I was praying for you," he admitted.

"Praying for me?" Cloud repeated, with a frown. He stood up, and watched Tidus carefully. "Why?"

"Well, ever since we came to this world, it seems you've had a lot on your mind. I feel like I don't always know how to help, so I thought that coming here might be useful." Tidus was reluctant to meet Cloud's gaze, but when he finally did, he found no anger nor disappointment in Cloud's eyes. Instead, there was a tenderness within them.

"Tidus, that's..." Cloud struggled to find the right words. He was touched. He felt so overwhelmed with astonishment in that moment that it was hard to even speak. "That's really sweet of you."

Tidus' eyes widened in surprise.

"Really?" he dared.

"Yeah," Cloud nodded, eyes gleaming with adoration, expression filled with gratitude.

"Phew, that's a relief!" Tidus sighed heavily, his hands falling to rest on his knees. "I didn't think you'd want me to come here."

"This place _is_ special," Cloud said, taking a few strides toward the door, his eyes on the sky as he walked. He smiled softly as he turned back to Tidus. "But that doesn't mean I mind sharing it."

Cloud raised his arm, his palm open and waiting for Tidus'. Tidus gave him a surprised look, but quickly rushed to Cloud's side and joined hands with him. Tidus returned Cloud's smile with one of his own as they headed for the door.

"What do you say we stop for a bite to eat before we head home?" Cloud offered.

"Sounds great. I'm starving after the long walk here."

"You _walked_ all the way here?" Cloud's eyes were wide as he gazed upon him.

"Yeah. Man, that highway is long," Tidus laughed. Cloud released a soft chuckle.

"So, you won't mind taking the motorcycle back?"

"Not at all!" Tidus grinned, deviously pleased that he would get to ride on the back of Cloud's bike after all.

* * *

Tidus followed Cloud into the restaurant, his eyes big and mouth agape as he took in his surroundings. After seeing the other buildings in Edge, Tidus had suspected this place would be a little on the dingy side, but the restaurant's interior was actually quite elegant. The walls were of a light-colored wood, and a chandelier hung from the ceiling. Several booths lined the walls while another few tables were scattered throughout the room, each embellished with red table cloths and small white candles. None of the tables were occupied, leaving Tidus and Cloud as the restaurant's only current customers.

"Table or booth?" a waitress asked, approaching the men.

"Booth, please," Cloud replied, then glanced back at Tidus who still seemed to be in awe.

"Right this way," the girl smiled, leading them to a booth on the left wall. Cloud gave Tidus a gentle nudge to bring him back to the real world, and Tidus released a smile as he followed Cloud to their table.

"Here are your menus," the waitress said, placing the books down on the table as Tidus sat down across from Cloud. "Can I get you some drinks to start?"

"Just water is fine for me," Cloud replied.

"Yeah, me too, please," Tidus nodded. The girl smiled and headed off to the kitchen. Cloud opened his menu, and glanced up at Tidus who was once again scanning his surroundings. He admired Tidus' childlike behaviour.

"You like this place?"

"Oh, yeah. It's just... nothing like the restaurants back home," Tidus replied, his attention snapping back to Cloud again.

"In Zanarkand, you mean?" Cloud's eyes suddenly looked bright with curiosity; he looked genuinely interested in hearing more about Tidus' world, which meant more to Tidus than Cloud would ever know.

"Yeah. They used to be pretty dark inside, but would be all lit up with colored flashing lights," Tidus explained, his hands waving about as he talked.

"Sounds pretty exciting," Cloud replied, with a soft smile.

"It was cool, but I like this place, too. It's nice. Kinda romantic." Cloud ducked his head to hide his growing smile.

"You noticed?" he asked, looking a little embarrassed.

"What? You _wanted_ it to be romantic?" Tidus asked, brows raised.

"Well, it occurred to me that you and I never had a real date," Cloud said.

"That's true," Tidus nodded, eyes wide. With all the monsters, and battles, and fighting, they had honestly never gotten an opportunity. It was certainly about time they had.

"Aw, Cloud, this is sweet of you," Tidus smiled, turning his gaze to the table as he started to feel a bit embarrassed himself. He wasn't used to Cloud being so forward, so brave.

"I just wanted to do something nice for you. I can't say I've been the ideal partner the last few days," Cloud sighed.

"Don't worry about it. You've had a lot on your plate. Speaking of which, what are you going to eat?" Tidus asked, mind returning to his grumbling stomach. Cloud smiled at Tidus before turning his attention back to his open menu.

"This place has the best lasagna."

"Lasagna?" Tidus asked, appearing slightly confused.

"You've never heard of it? It's noodles, cheese, tomato sauce, and meat, unless you get the vegetarian."

"Nah, the meaty version sounds good to me. I'm no stranger to a behemoth stew," Tidus said, closing his own menu and setting it aside.

"Alright," Cloud chuckled, adding his menu to the pile.

The waitress quickly made her way back to the table with a tray, and greeted the men with another friendly smile.

"Here are your drinks," she said, placing the water glasses in front of the two. "Are you ready to order?"

"Yes, we'll each have the lasagna," Cloud replied.

"Well, that's easy enough," the girl smiled, collecting the menus. "I'll be back before too long."

"Oh, and could you light this?" Cloud asked, his index finger tapping against the small, glass centerpiece.

"Of course," the waitress nodded, pulling a lighter from her apron and setting the candle in the centre of the table alight.

"Thank you," Cloud said, as she walked away.

Once she'd left, Tidus' gaze wandered up to meet Cloud's. Ever since they'd left the church, there had been this look in Cloud's eyes: a softness, a certain happiness. Tidus had never imagined that Cloud would be so open about their relationship in public, but for once, Cloud didn't seem to care. In fact, he seemed kind of proud to have Tidus at his side. Tidus wondered if perhaps by going to the church, he'd struck something in Cloud, something to make him feel close to him again.

Tidus felt himself smiling, and averted his gaze; he was sure Cloud would start questioning his silly grin, otherwise. Tidus' eyes scanned the restaurant once more. This time, it wasn't so much the interior that intrigued him, but the fact that absolutely no other customers occupied the other tables. It was a puzzle that Tidus couldn't put together. Here was this beautiful place in an accessible part of town, yet no one was interested in stepping inside?

"It's kinda sad. You'd think there'd be a lot of people in a nice place like this," Tidus spoke up, hoping Cloud might be able to clear up his confusion.

"I guess not a lot of people take advantage of the luxury," Cloud replied, simply.

"Why not?"

"Most of the townsfolk are still trying to rebuild their lives. They don't have the will, nor the means to indulge like this."

"Oh," Tidus nodded, as those pesky pieces fell into place. "And you're one of those people still trying to rebuild. Aren't you?" He saw the way Cloud's eyes briefly grew bigger. Apparently, his conjecture had been spot-on.

"Yeah, I am," Cloud eventually agreed, a soft smile still gracing his lips, which took Tidus by surprise. The Cloud he'd first met in Cosmos' world would never have been able to maintain that smile at a time like this. Tidus reached a hand across the table, and brushed his thumb against Cloud's.

"You know, it's funny. I really wanted to make sure this place stayed afloat. Edge needs a place like this, somewhere people can relax and enjoy themselves. I actually donate regularly to this place to make sure it stays in business," Cloud went on, eyeing the upscale interior.

"Yeah? Doesn't seem like your type of place," Tidus speculated with a slight frown. "N-not that you're not elegant, or anything—"

"I know," Cloud laughed softly. "But I figure _someone_ should enjoy it. The people of this world... have all been through enough."

Cloud appeared to be deep in thought now, probably reflecting on the damages that had been done to this planet, and Tidus was grateful to understand them a little better now. But Cloud was absolutely right when he said he was still one of the people rebuilding their lives after those damages, and Tidus wondered if Cloud might have been among those hit the hardest.

Sure, Cloud still had food and shelter, but he had seen the very worst of the evil in this world, had found its core and fought it, enduring losses along the way. He had been _hurt_ by this planet, from the day he was a sixteen-year-old lab rat to a weary Ex-Shinra employee with freshly recovered memories. He may have saved the world, but he hadn't saved himself from its horrors.

"Cloud, is there anything I can do to make things better? For _you_?" Tidus asked, his brows falling further into a frown. Cloud sighed lightly.

"I wish I knew."

"I just wish things could go back to the way they were before," Tidus confessed.

"Me, too," Cloud agreed. "It's like, ever since you recovered, I've been waiting for a sign. Anything to tell me that we're gonna be okay, and that it's alright for us to continue down this road. I thought I just needed some time to adjust, or some space to think, but nothing seems to be getting any clearer."

"I get that you need your space sometimes, but... I really don't think we can let this distance between us get any bigger. If it does... I don't think this relationship will work," Tidus admitted, his eyes meeting Cloud's.

There was a look of remorse in those azure eyes now, and Tidus hated that he had been the one to put it there. The only bright side was that those words had made an impact.

"You're right," Cloud nodded, shoving a hand through his hair. "You're right."

"So, what do we do?" Tidus asked. Cloud let out another sigh.

"I don't know."

"Your meals, gentlemen," the waitress announced, as she arrived with their plates. They'd both been so caught up in the conversation, they hadn't heard her emerge from the kitchen.

Tidus withdrew his hand from Cloud's side of the table and shoved it down at his side. It felt cold with the lack of Cloud's warmth, but Cloud's soft smile returned to his face, and Tidus couldn't help but feel better. Cloud really wasn't ashamed to be seen together like this; it was new territory, but Tidus would quickly get on board with it. It was nice to see Cloud this way—just feeling free.

"Looks delicious. Thank you," Cloud said, as the waitress placed their lasagnas in front of them.

"You're welcome," the girl smiled. "Do you need anything else?"

"No, I think this is all for now," Cloud replied, followed by a nod of agreement from Tidus.

"Okay, enjoy."

Tidus stuck a fork into his lasagna as the waitress headed for the kitchen. Steam rose from the hot dish, and Tidus smirked.

"Don't think I'll touch that yet!"

"It does look to be a little on the warm side," Cloud laughed, lightly. They grew silent as they watched the steam swirl in the air. Cloud searched his brain for the magic words that would put Tidus' mind at ease, but they were nowhere to be found. Tidus seemed to know what he was thinking anyway.

"Look, it's okay. I know that me living here is gonna take some getting used to. It's kinda crazy for me, too," Tidus explained, giving Cloud an encouraging smile. Cloud only found himself wanting to apologize. It reminded him that this whole experience was probably hardest on Tidus.

Tidus was the one adjusting to a new homeworld, with new people and places, and customs that were completely unfamiliar to him. And even though he had once voiced that coming here was, in fact, what he wanted, once they had gotten here, Cloud hadn't helped him adjust. He hadn't helped him ease into his surroundings. He hadn't greeted him with affections that would have made settling in much easier. He hadn't even asked if Tidus needed to talk. Like so many times before, Cloud had been the one seeking comfort, while blind to the fact that Tidus was perhaps suffering even more than he was.

"Don't apologize," Tidus knowingly spoke up, before Cloud could start. "I just wanna move past all this and start fixing what we have."

Tidus bravely scooped up a forkful of his hot lasagna and popped it into his mouth. His face lit up with excitement at the foreign but delicious taste.

"Wow, this is good," he beamed.

"Oh, I'm glad you like it," Cloud replied, the corners of his mouth just barely managing a smile. Cloud twirled his fork uncomfortably against his place-mat, his eyes fixed on it just so he could avoid Tidus' forgiving eyes. He didn't feel he deserved forgiveness, not after abandoning Tidus the way he had. He had to make it up to him.

"What we had in Cosmos' world... It was pretty good, wasn't it?" Cloud asked, daring a glance upward.

"Damn right, it was good," Tidus grinned, inhaling another bite of lasagna. Cloud's smile returned at the sound of Tidus' playful voice, and he couldn't help but agree. What they'd had... It had been amazing.

 _I'll find a way to fix it_ , Cloud silently swore. Finally, he picked up his fork and dug into his own supper. _I don't know where, or how, but I'll find a way. I promise._

"Mm, the food's awfully good, too," Cloud smiled, eyes looking up from his plate to meet Tidus'.

"Delicious," Tidus agreed, slurping a noodle off of his fork. He watched as Cloud happily took another bite.

"Tidus?" Cloud asked, as if he didn't already have his partner's attention. Tidus nodded for him to continue. "I really appreciate what you did for me in that church. I don't know if... anyone's ever prayed for me before."

"Oh, that," Tidus shrugged, timidly. "It was nothing. In fact, I... I thought you might be mad."

"Mad?" Cloud questioned. He couldn't imagine why Tidus would think such a thing, not after all they'd been through. Cloud shook his head. "No. You just had the courage to do what I never could."

"You were afraid to pray?" Tidus frowned. "Why?"

Cloud hesitated. He held his fork upright in the middle of his plate, holding it still at first, then spinning it around in a pool of tomato sauce as he tried to find the answer to Tidus' question. To both his and Tidus' surprise, he gave a soft smile as he responded.

"I guess I was afraid of the result."

Tidus pondered on that for a moment as Cloud returned to his meal. Had Cloud never prayed because he didn't feel he deserved to ask for guidance? Had he been afraid of what Zack or Aerith might tell him? Or had he been scared he wouldn't receive any comfort at all?

"Regardless, I do appreciate it. It really shows you care," Cloud went on, hoping to ease that wary look off of Tidus' face. His mission was easily accomplished. As Tidus caught sight of his gentle smile, he, too, began to grin, and stuffed another mouthful of food into his mouth.

"Well, you got that right! I sure do care," he assured Cloud. He was relieved to know that his visit to the church had meant something to him, that it had actually pleased him.

"I know you do, love. And so do I," Cloud smiled, softly, and watched as Tidus reddened at the nickname. "Oh, and Tidus?"

Tidus looked up only slightly, as he was still trying to conceal his burning cheeks. That look alone, though, still let Cloud know he was listening.

"It's nice to see you back in your old clothes. You look good," Cloud smiled, though it quickly twisted into a smirk, like he knew he was embarrassing Tidus even more by the minute with each endearing comment, but he felt the need to say it.

Seeing Tidus in his blitzball uniform again, in those clothes he'd worn during their long, arduous journey made him remember where they had begun, and he treasured each memory individually as they raced through his brain on fast-forward—Tidus holding him close as he recovered from his battle with Sephiroth, linking their hands as they hurried back from the lake in the pouring rain, watching Tidus gracefully set the white lily afloat for his mother, even just talking and laughing with each other. Cloud adored each memory, and swore to himself he would never let himself forget. Not this time.

"Stop that," Tidus mumbled, sheepishly. "The waitress is gonna think I have a fever."

Cloud scanned Tidus' red face, and let out a wholehearted laugh, leaving Tidus unable to keep from grinning. He supposed that seeing Cloud so happy, even at his expense, was worth it. Watching those glowing eyes that finally held more joy than sadness... Yeah. Totally worth it.

* * *

A peaceful silence hung over Seventh Heaven when darkness blanketed the sky that night. Marlene's soft snores carried through from her bedroom, Tifa was enveloped in pleasant dreams, and Cloud lay close against Tidus' warmth. The window in Cloud's room was open, and a warm summer breeze drifted in, tossing the curtains around gently.

Cloud's eyes flew open at the sound of movement. He immediately sat up, the blankets falling away from his bare chest. He looked to his left where Tidus was still soundly sleeping on his stomach, his arms folded up near his pillow and his head resting on them. Cloud scanned the room. His breathing stopped mid-inhale when he saw a figure near his dresser. He continued to hold his breath, and carefully got up from the bed, hoping to sneak up on his intruder. The figure turned to face him, and Cloud's heart skipped a beat, as he was sure his eyes must have been failing him.

There stood his beautiful, smiling Zack, each of his features as clear and perfect as he remembered. He was flawless, and Cloud knew that this was no manikin, nor ghost. This was him. This was his Zack. Cloud went to speak, but his voice didn't work as quickly as he'd hoped it would.

"Nice place you've got here. Did you decorate?" Zack asked, with a cheery smile, running a finger along one of the dusty picture frames that stood atop Cloud's dresser, leaving an obvious clean line in the middle of the dirt; inside the frame was a picture of Cloud and his companions who had accompanied him on his mission to stop Shinra and Sephiroth.

"Zack?" Cloud asked, uncertainly, not wanting to get his hopes up if this was another dream; most of his dreams seemed to end in tragedy lately. Zack looked at him and smiled again, cocking his head to the side.

"Yeah?"

"Am I dreaming?" Cloud asked weakly, feeling like his feet might sink into the floor at any second. He honestly couldn't say for sure whether or not this felt like a dream. Normally, Zack didn't talk directly to him in dreams, not in the moment like this. Zack took a few steps past Cloud, toward the bed.

"Um, yeah. Well, _one_ of you is dreaming, anyway," Zack explained.

"Huh?" Cloud turned around and watched Zack approach the bed and stare at its occupants. Cloud could see himself and Tidus still asleep. An out of body experience? No, he wasn't quite sure what this was.

"What?" Cloud demanded, patting his arms to make sure he really was standing next to the dresser, then he shivered.

When Zack laughed, Cloud realized there must really be two of him. He tried not to let that bother him, and instead focused on the fact that Zack was here with him. He took a few steps forward and stood beside Zack, watching the two sleeping forms, just as Zack was.

"So, that's him. Tidus," Zack said, as if he were determining how that name felt on his tongue. "You two look like quite the couple."

Cloud felt his face grow warm. The Cloud that was in the bed was lying on his side. Tidus was cuddled in close now, his face resting between Cloud's bare shoulder blades, and one of his arms draped loosely around Cloud's waist atop the covers.

"I-it's not like that. He just doesn't like me to feel alone," Cloud lied, though as soon as he said it, he knew how ridiculous it sounded. As if Zack was going to believe that, with the way Tidus was snuggled in against him. He was pretty sure Zack could see right through him anyway.

"Yeah, and I don't think you like to be alone anymore," Zack said, touching Cloud's shoulder and gently turning him to face him. Cloud closed his eyes, the shock of feeling Zack's touch after all this time taking him off guard. He allowed Zack to stroke his shoulder with his thumb.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"That's kind of why I'm here," Zack whispered back. He waited for Cloud to open his eyes again before he continued to speak.

"You don't have to hold yourself back because of me. I know you love him, and that's okay," Zack said. Cloud's hesitant eyes reached Zack's own and Zack gave Cloud a reassuring smile.

"It is?" Cloud asked, feeling so unsure. "You're really okay with it?"

"He makes you happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you," Zack promised. Cloud fought against a tearful smile. Zack's own smile faltered, and his expression grew into one of concern as he watched Cloud try to hide his emotions.

"It's the guilt, isn't it? You living on without me?" Zack asked. Cloud nodded, solemnly.

"Cloud, sweetie, you've gotta let that go." Zack's voice was velvety, more smooth and sweet than Cloud's memories had given it credit for.

"You say it like it's easy," Cloud said, a slight fierceness to his voice. "Zack, it's not easy."

"I know it's not," Zack assured him, his gentle hand never leaving Cloud's shoulder. "But I _want_ this for you, and I know you don't want to let him go. You _shouldn't_ let him go."

"Zack," Cloud whimpered, closing his eyes. He loathed the tear that threatened to roll down his cheek. "I wish that was all that was stopping me, but it's not. There have been so many close calls, so many times he ended up getting hurt. We nearly ended up in different worlds. Zack, what if I lose him, too?"

When Cloud's eyes opened again, they stared up at Zack, begging for an honest answer. His eyes delved deep into Zack's nearly identical ones, but as Zack's bravery stared back at him, he felt his gaze wander down to the scar on Zack's left cheek—just another reminder of how easily accidents could happen. Zack's hand remained firmly on Cloud's shoulder.

"I know you're scared. That's understandable, but not all love stories end as tragically as ours did," Zack said, a slight frown on his face. Those words pierced Cloud's heart like a needle. He managed a nod, but he was still too stunned by the potent comment to be convinced.

"I think I dream too much," Cloud mumbled, and Zack squinted.

"What do you mean? Right now?"

"No, always. I dream about Tidus' death, and your death, and... I dream about Sephiroth, telling me things like, ' _Trouble will always follow you. Wherever you go.'_ And all my life, that's been par for the course. Trouble does follow me. Zack, am I... cursed?" Cloud choked out. Zack shook his head, smiling softly.

"No, silly, you're not cursed. I know a lot of stuff happened, and a lot of it was not good, but I think you got stuck dwelling on everything that went wrong. I mean, a lot of things went right, too, didn't they?" Zack reminded him, nodding in Tidus' direction.

Cloud glanced at the bed, eyeing the couple laying there peacefully, and still trying not to be freaked out by the doppelganger in his bed. Or was he himself the doppelganger? He sighed and gave up trying to figure that out.

"So, what? Are we in the clear now? Are we safe?"

"Hey, I'm not saying there aren't going to be hard times, but Cloud, buddy, I'm gonna be watching over you two. I have been all along," Zack smiled at his tearful former lover.

"You have? Really?" Cloud blinked in surprise, elated that he hadn't been imagining Zack's presence around him, that his guidance was real. Zack nodded.

Cloud didn't know where to begin sorting through his thoughts, trying to recall all the times where Zack might have interfered to save them. With Sephiroth, with the manikins, maybe even with bringing Tidus here. But Cloud didn't want to ask. He just wanted to imagine.

"And you'll... protect us?" Cloud frowned.

"Aerith and I have been doing a good job so far, right? We're on your side," Zack promised.

Cloud stifled a sob as Zack pulled him into his arms, and for the last time—somehow, he just knew this would be the last time—he nuzzled his face in against Zack's chest, the material of his SOLDIER uniform soft against his face.

"So, what do I do?" Cloud asked, his arms lacing around Zack's back.

"There's only one thing you have to do, and I know it's hard," Zack whispered.

"What is it?" Cloud looked up at Zack, fresh tears ebbing at the corners of his eyes.

"You've gotta _let go_ if you want to let him in. Cloud, you have to let your guard down." Zack released Cloud from his hold, ending the embrace.

"But, how do I—?"

"You can't be afraid anymore, okay? Don't worry about me. Don't worry about him. Just open yourself up. Just let yourself _love_ ," Zack explained, though in Cloud's opinion, that answer was still far too vague.

"But what about—?" Cloud cut off as Zack flinched. Cloud's eyes grew wide, a nauseating feeling settling in his stomach at the mere thought that Zack might be in pain. "Wh-what's wrong?"

"Ah, sorry, time's almost up for me. Cloud, just remember. You can't improve the past, but you _can_ build a wonderful future. Or something like that. Angeal used to say those sorts of lame things all the time," Zack chuckled. "But, you know, I think there's some truth to them, too."

He backed up a few steps, and took one last glance around the room as he headed for the door.

"Zack—" Cloud choked out, eyes huge and fearful as he realized their parting was coming much too soon. Zack turned once more to give Cloud a parting wave.

"You two take care of each other, okay?" he smiled.

* * *

Cloud awoke with a start, his breathing hard and uneven. He sat up, panting, a hand rising to his chest. He could feel his heart thudding painfully against his fingertips. He looked quickly around the room, but his beloved Zack was nowhere in sight. His eyes remained locked on that spot where Zack had recently stood, by the dresser, near the door through which he had taken his leave. Cloud's gaze wandered to the picture frame that Zack had so delicately touched, only to be hit with the realization that his vivid dream had in fact been real.

There on the frame was a clean stripe amidst the surrounding dust, where Zack had dragged his finger across the dirty glass. So, Zack had found a way to physically visit him? Only to leave him again? Cloud felt panicked for a moment, heart threatening to fill with a deep, dark loneliness, until he looked down and saw Tidus sleeping in the exact same position as he had been in his dream.

That's right. He still had Tidus. Cloud's concerns dwindled as he breathed a sigh, and slunk back down under the covers. He rolled onto his side to face Tidus, suddenly feeling a little cold. He was shaking, and he wasn't sure whether it was from the breeze or from the vivid vision he'd just had. He scooted in close and tucked his head in under Tidus' chin.

"Cloud?" Tidus asked, sleepily. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Cloud replied in a trembling voice, as Tidus' arms readjusted themselves around his waist. He closed his eyes and returned the embrace. The sign that Cloud had so long been waiting for... The sign to let him know that everything would be okay... Perhaps Zack had been it.

As the young men settled in close to one another, Cloud found his mind wandering back to his times with Tidus, right back to the first time he'd found out Tidus had feelings for him. Back then, seeing this far ahead had been impossible. He would have never imagined that months later, he would be here, more in love with Tidus than he'd ever believed he could be.

Early on, he hadn't known of Tidus' patience, of his kindness. He hadn't been rescued by Tidus time and again. He'd never needed to place his trust in Tidus, but he had since learned how soothing it was to do so. Now, all he wanted to do was be immersed in all those things. He wanted to indulge in all the amazing things Tidus did, and said, and was.

That was what Zack wanted. Cloud knew that now. And for the first time since that day on the cliff five years ago, Cloud understood those dying words that Zack had said to him. Zack had made him vow to live for the both of them, but he had never meant for that to be a weight on Cloud's shoulders. He had meant for it to be freeing, for Cloud to live every day to the fullest, and experience everything life had to offer. He'd wanted Cloud to experience enough happiness for two lives, and from this moment on, Cloud swore to himself he would do just that.

"Yeah," Cloud said, again, feeling and sounding even more confident this time. "Everything's... alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, I didn't post this note originally, but I thought I'd better add it. The next chapter will be the last full chapter of this story (followed by a short epilogue). I was going to leave it as a surprise, but then I decided it was cruel to spring this on people, like, "Yep, this is the last chapter. Enjoy while you can." So, here's your advanced warning. Don't forget your handkerchiefs and fuzzy blankets for the next chapter; it might be emotion overload, haha. Until next time!


	38. Devoted

Yuffie was stunned when she trotted up to Seventh Heaven and saw a stranger outside the bar. Well, she knew he couldn't have been too much of a stranger. After all, he was playing trains with Marlene, and Marlene was like an alarm when there were strangers about. Yuffie gave a smile to the little girl, and a polite nod to the man in strange yellow and black clothing before heading inside the bar.

"Hey, Tifa," she greeted, sauntering across the floor to the counter and plopping herself down on one of the stools.

"Yuffie! What a surprise," Tifa smiled, wiping off the last area of the bar counter.

"Figured it was about time I stopped in for a visit," Yuffie grinned, glancing around at the bar which had remained identical to when she had last seen it—picture frames all over the walls, the counters and floors practically shimmering, they were so clean.

"Drink?" Tifa asked, tossing her cleaning rag aside and waving a hand toward the fridge.

"No, thanks," Yuffie replied, then she leaned in close across the counter. "So, who's the new babysitter outside?"

"Babysitter?" Tifa raised a brow, then she laughed as she realized to whom Yuffie was referring. "Oh, no, he's a friend of Cloud's."

"A friend?" Yuffie repeated, looking incredulous. "Or are we talking _more-than_ - _friend_?" Tifa bobbed her head from side-to-side.

"That's not really for me to say," she replied.

"So, he _is_ a _more-than-friend_?!" Yuffie asked, popping up from her seat. Tifa shook her hands rapidly.

"I never said that!"

"You don't have to say it!"

"Tifa?" Cloud said, coming down the stairs. He frowned when he saw the way Yuffie was smirking at him. He gave her a nod anyway as he came to lean against the bar counter. He went to speak again, but turned his head in Yuffie's direction when she refused to stop staring at him with that ridiculous look on her face.

"What?" he asked.

"New man, huh?" Yuffie grinned, devillishly. Cloud's mouth popped open into the perfect _o_ shape, then it snapped closed again. His brows twitched as he turned toward Tifa.

"Did you say something?" he asked.

"I didn't try to. She sort of just guessed," Tifa said, innocently.

"That's one fine piece of man candy you got there. Tell me, Cloud, where can I get one of those?" Yuffie teased, placing her elbows on the counter and resting her chin in her palms. She stared at Cloud, eyelids fluttering dreamily.

"Stop that," he muttered, rolling his eyes and trying his best to ignore her. "Tifa, I need a favour. Can I talk to you for a minute? Privately," he added, when Yuffie popped her head up, her interest obviously piqued.

"Sure," Tifa nodded, following Cloud upstairs. Yuffie sulked for a few seconds after being left alone, then she made her way to the window, and peeked out to get another good look at the Zanarkand boy.

She couldn't help but grin as she gazed upon him, as she identified exactly what Cloud's type was. With his bright clothes and beaming smile, he appeared the polar opposite of the stoic man Yuffie had become close friends with. Maybe that was what made it work between them, but Yuffie wasn't about to go on that assumption alone.

With no fear nor reservations whatsoever, she practically skipped outside. The door closed loudly behind her, alerting Tidus and Marlene immediately to her presence, and they turned their heads toward her from their position in the alley. They were situated in the middle of the concrete, using the cracks in the pavement as tiny tracks for Marlene's toy trains.

"Hiya!" Yuffie greeted, voice so loud and cheerful that it even made Tidus doubt his own optimistic talents. He raised his brows slightly, and Yuffie couldn't decide if he looked more confused or nervous. She soon decided she didn't care, and descended the few small steps from the bar.

"Hi," Tidus eventually greeted.

Marlene smiled and silently waved to the girl, and Tidus was glad to see he wasn't the only one who couldn't get many words out of Marlene when they were alone. It seemed to work okay, though. Tidus talked enough for the both of them, and he could make Marlene laugh pretty easily. They could still play some games together, thanks to Marlene's pointing and motioning for what she wanted Tidus to do, and Tidus enjoyed feeling like he was gaining her trust.

But the thought he enjoyed even more was that he might someday become a part of the Seventh Heaven family, with Cloud, and Marlene, and Tifa. Yes, a family. That didn't sound so bad. It had been a long time since he'd had one of those.

"I'm Yuffie. One of Cloud and Tifa's friends. Guess you heard all about our 'long, tiring, and sometimes even kinda boring' journey," Yuffie said, placing her hands on her hips as her eyes flickered between Tidus and the bright green train that Marlene was dragging along the pavement cracks.

"Um, yup. I know about that. Some of it, at least," Tidus nodded, head falling sideways as he finished his sentence.

"Uh-huh... Mm-hmm..." Yuffie analyzed him intently like she was sizing him up, deciding if he deserved to be here or not. After a minute of brow-scrunching and harsh staring, she knelt down right in front of him. Tidus pulled his head back quickly, as her face was way too close for comfort.

"So, what are your intentions with my Cloud?" she asked, her bottom lip pressing firmly against her top one.

" _Y-your_ Cloud?" Tidus stuttered. He felt like his pupils must have looked huge, his eyes had grown so wide. He inched back on his heels, just to put a bit more distance between himself and the strange girl.

"Well, Cloud's my friend. I just want to make sure you're good enough for him. That means no heart-breaking, life-taking—"

"Life-taking?! Are you crazy?" Tidus' eyelids had flew open even more, and he hadn't even thought that was possible.

"I think the question is, are _you_ crazy? You had better not be a murderer or something," Yuffie warned, leaning her head forward again, right into Tidus' personal bubble. He fell backwards onto his rear, and muttered an 'oof' as he hit the ground.

"I'm not any of those things!" Tidus assured her, waving his hands in surrender. "I just... I care about Cloud. And I really hope _you_ don't scare me away from him," he added, scooting back just a little more.

"Yuffie!" came Cloud's voice from the step, much to Tidus' relief.

Tidus looked to the door of the bar to see his spiky-haired pal standing there. Cloud quickly descended the stairs two at a time, thanks to his long legs. Yuffie stood immediately, and mustered her most innocent expression.

"Yes, boss!" she answered, saluting the Ex-SOLDIER. He rolled his eyes at her for the second time that day, and swatted her hand down.

"You'd better not be interrogating him," he warned.

Yuffie shook her head, while Tidus nodded vigorously in the background. Cloud's eyes went to his partner's, and he held back a smirk at the sight of Tidus' disturbed expression.

"' _Interrogate'_ is such a strong word, Cloud," Yuffie shrugged, making Cloud's eyebrows twitch.

"Anyway, go talk to Tifa. She has something planned for you for tonight," Cloud instructed.

"Alrightie," Yuffie said, sceptically. "But don't think this is over, mister," she added in a whisper, pointing to her eyes and then pointing at Tidus, her fingers fixed in a V shape. Tidus shuddered at her stalker-like presence.

Once Yuffie had entered the bar, and the door fell shut behind her, Cloud breathed a sigh and knelt down with two of his favourite people. Marlene immediately smiled, and handed Cloud a royal-blue train to play with. Cloud thanked her quietly, and rolled it along the ground as his eyes returned to Tidus. Tidus still looked a little stunned.

"Your friend is scary."

"Give it time. I think you guys will hit it off before long. You're not all that different," Cloud smiled. There was audible amusement in his voice that Tidus couldn't help but be thankful for; it was still such a sweet sound to his ears.

"So, the girls have plans tonight, huh?" Tidus asked. Marlene noticed Tidus becoming distracted, and she placed a hand on his, guiding it forward and reminding him to keep driving his little locomotive.

"Actually, I arranged for you to go with them. They're going to the theatre, and I think you'd like it, too."

"Oh. Y-you're not going? I thought you had a few days off," Tidus said, trying to hide his disappointment, but his voice hadn't cloaked it well. Cloud shrugged his shoulders and gave him an apologetic look.

"Sorry, something came up. I have an urgent delivery in Kalm tonight," Cloud fibbed. "It's not that far, but I'd miss the beginning of the play, and..."

"No, it's okay. I'll still go. I like seeing the city." This time when he'd spoken, Tidus had mustered more enthusiasm, even though it was slightly forced.

"Good. So, we'll have supper together, and then you'll head out," Cloud said, giving Tidus a pat on the shoulder and setting his blue train down on the ground again.

He felt Tidus' gaze follow him as he stood up, and he affectionately ruffled Tidus' sandy blond hair, in a manner not unlike the one Zack used to use with him. It felt good to pass the gesture along in that way.

"Cloud? I know what you're doing," Tidus smiled, softly. Cloud shifted an eyebrow upward in question, heart sinking into his stomach. Did Tidus really know what he was up to? How could he?

"Y-you do?" Cloud stuttered, somehow still managing to play it cool.

"Yeah. I know you're trying to keep me entertained even when you're not around, so... thanks." Cloud relaxed, and his smile deepened as his fingers slipped through dark blond strands again.

"Don't thank me just yet," he said, as he headed for the house, and Tidus spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out what he meant.

* * *

Everything was perfect. As planned, Tifa, Tidus, Yuffie, and Marlene were out for the evening, leaving Cloud with the house to himself. That was his chance to find the supplies he needed, to tidy his room until he was satisfied, and to assure himself that he was ready for what the night had in store for him. Cloud was ready long before Tifa dropped Tidus back off at the bar, and during that time, he sat on his bed, mentally preparing himself.

Cloud took a minute to relive his favourite moments with Tidus. He remembered their training session together, when he had fallen atop Tidus in front of their friends, and had frozen there, just staring into his eyes. He pictured his first kiss with Tidus, how new and exciting it had been, how warm he had felt. He thought back to when Tidus had fought Jecht for the first time, to how he had treated Tidus' painful, bruised body with his impulsive, passionate kisses. He remembered falling into Chaos' trap, and tumbling down along with the crumbling ground. He remembered how Tidus had rescued him from drowning that night, and how Tidus had saved him from bleeding to death. He could recall the night before their final battle, how they had kissed, and touched, and cried together.

Now, Cloud yearned for more. So much more. He wanted to experience everything he could with Tidus, to make the most of the time they had. Love, sex... Maybe even marriage someday. And if Zack wanted those things for him, too, and Zack was watching over him and Tidus, keeping them safe, then why should he hold himself back any longer? What stood in his way? In this moment, there was absolutely nothing. Cloud knew this was where he wanted to be, where he was _supposed_ to be. Tidus had made it back to this world with him for a reason. They belonged together.

Lights flashed in Cloud's window, and Cloud jumped up from the bed when he realized it was probably Tifa driving in. Any second, she would be dropping Tidus off here, and Tidus would be wanting an explanation as to why she and the girls weren't following him in. Cloud rushed around the room, lighter in hand. He was ready, and he hoped all would go smoothly, but right now, he was confident it would.

Cloud jumped as he heard the door close.

"Cloud?" Tidus called from downstairs. Cloud finished with the surrounding candles, and stuffed the lighter into his drawer.

"Upstairs," he called back, smoothing out his shirt a little, and running a hand through his hair to tidy it.

"Cloud?" Tidus asked again, as he appeared in the doorway. His jaw immediately dropped a good three inches, and remained there as he scanned the room, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

The checkered curtains of Cloud's room were drawn, the top of the bed covers were unturned, and cream-colored candles of different shapes and sizes were dispersed around the room. Some sat upon dressers, others lined the now tidy desk and beside table. The last one Cloud held in his hands. Cloud gazed into its flame, its glow illuminating his slightly flushed cheeks.

"Welcome home," Cloud said, softly, his eyes meeting Tidus' briefly as he spoke.

"Um... thanks," Tidus replied with a nervous smile, a hand instinctively going to rub the back of his head. "What's all this about?"

Tidus fell silent when he felt Cloud reach for his hand, and he allowed him to take it to help hold the candle. Tidus watched Cloud's face carefully, hoping to pick up on some tiny facial feature that might give him a clue as to what was going on, but with Cloud's eyes fixed on the candle, Tidus couldn't read him.

"Do you see this light?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah," Tidus replied, though the inflection in his voice made it sound more like a question.

"It sure keeps away the darkness, doesn't it?"

"Um, yeah." Tidus chuckled, lightly. "Cloud, have you been drinking again?"

"What?" Cloud asked, brows raised. "No. Just listen."

Tidus nodded, and regained focus. The tone in Cloud's voice was so serious. The uncertainty of the situation made Tidus' heart pound.

"Tidus, _you're my_ light. For months now, you've fought off my darkness. The truth is, I need you here," Cloud announced, his gaze moving up to meet his partner's.

Tidus' expression was soft, almost sad, and Cloud had to try hard to muster up the courage to speak on.

"For a long time, I was confused about what I wanted. You made me feel so many good things that I can't even begin to explain, but I was scared of what would happen if I let you in. I was scared of hurting you, of losing you... of losing parts of myself."

"Cloud..." Tidus cooed when it seemed the other blond was suddenly lost for words.

Tidus caressed Cloud's fingers with his own as they held the candle together. Cloud's eyes wandered back to the flame and remained there for a long moment. Tidus watched him oh so carefully now. He expected to see emotion rising into Cloud's features, but for the first time, Cloud's expression remained strong.

"Whatever this is about... I'm here," Tidus promised him, raising his free hand to rest on Cloud's shoulder. The corners of Cloud's lips turned upwards the slightest amount, and Cloud closed his eyes as a soft chuckle emerged from his throat.

"I know that," he said, with a nod. "And that's why I don't want to let you go. Not ever."

"What do you mean?"

"From now on, I'm gonna do whatever I can to make this work. No manikin nor memory is gonna keep me from you anymore. Tidus, I _love you_ ," Cloud admitted, and he smiled when he saw Tidus' expression soften with a look of surprise.

A gentle smile flooded its way onto Tidus' face, his heart fluttering with disbelief. He felt like he was flying, like he was too happy to fully comprehend those words. Cloud had said them before, but never like that. Never with that tone in his voice, never in circumstances like these; it was like those words had a whole new meaning, and Tidus had to figure them out.

Tidus hardly had time to dwell on those words, however, when Cloud removed the candle from their grasp and set it aside with the others on the dresser. Tidus' eyes fluttered closed as Cloud's lips met his own, so familiar and yet so new at the same time. He knew them, but something felt different. Tidus could feel in his heart that something was about to change.

He felt Cloud's hand on his lower back, and he took that as an invitation to return the favour. One of his hands came to rest on Cloud's waist while the other wandered into the curve of his spine. When Cloud broke the kiss, Tidus simply stared at him a moment, then smiled and delicately brushed a strand of golden hair out of Cloud's face.

"I love you, too," Tidus whispered. Cloud flashed him another small smile before leaning back in for another kiss. This time, Tidus could feel Cloud gently pulling him toward the bed, and Cloud tugged on his shirt to get him to sit down on the edge of the bed with him. Tidus did so happily.

"Tidus?" Cloud breathed, as they parted.

"Yeah?" Tidus asked, his eyes drifting slowly open.

"Remember when I told you about that resort, Costa del Sol?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I made arrangements for you and I to go over there and try to promote the idea of Blitzball. I mean, I can't guarantee that it'll catch on here, but we can give it a try," Cloud said. Tidus frowned.

"Blitzball? Why would you do that?"

"Because I want you to feel at home here. No matter what it takes," Cloud promised. Tidus' mouth curved into a smile, and he leaned in to embrace his companion.

"Wow, that... That means a lot," he whispered. Cloud smiled, and nuzzled his head in against Tidus' neck.

"But, you know," Tidus continued. "I already _am_ home. I'm with you, aren't I?" Cloud lowered his head as a chuckle escaped him.

"And I thought _I_ was the one being sappy."

"Oh, hey, come on! I was being serious!" Tidus gave Cloud's shoulder a playful nudge before they fell back into their embrace, their heads resting on each other's shoulders, and their grins lingering.

They stayed like that for a long time. Tidus could feel Cloud's fingertips gently stroking the nape of his neck. He smiled wider and tightened his grasp on his lover, letting him know that this moment meant something to him, too.

"Tidus?" Cloud eventually asked, his voice low and soft.

"Yeah?" Tidus asked, turning his head a little to kiss some strands of blond hair that fell in front of Cloud's ear.

"I'm ready to do this... if you are," Cloud replied slowly, in hopes that he would be understood.

Tidus pulled away enough so that he could look into Cloud's eyes. He was afraid he would find uncertainty in those eyes, but as he looked in them now, he saw nothing but strength and honesty. He had no idea where his sad, uncertain Cloud had gone, but he couldn't deny he liked what he was seeing.

"I'm ready, but Cloud, are you sure? If you think you're going to have regrets, you should wait," Tidus said, rushing his words as his nerves began to creep up on him.

"Tidus. I'm ready. I don't know if I've ever been more certain of anything." Cloud watched Tidus' expression carefully as it went from a long, worried frown to a look of understanding.

"Okay. But if you don't mind my asking, what changed?" Tidus asked, tilting his head to the side.

"I guess _I_ did," Cloud said, after a moment's thought. "I guess I realized that letting go doesn't have to be a bad thing." Tidus watched him for a minute, then nodded in response as a small smile took over.

Cloud pressed another kiss to Tidus' lips, and moved his hands to the zipper of his own shirt. Tidus frowned in curiosity as they parted, confused by Cloud's actions. Cloud was tugging his uniform open, his bare chest appearing little by little.

"Cloud, what are you doing?" Tidus asked. Cloud gave but a simple response.

"Letting my guard down."

Tidus pondered that reply for a second or two, then he nodded, and met Cloud's lips again.

"Let me... help you with that," he whispered, in between breathy kisses.

His hands quickly found Cloud's, and together they undid his shirt zipper the rest of the way. Tidus slipped a hand under the material that still covered Cloud's chest, his hand caressing him gently. He moved his face in against Cloud's neck, warming him with his breath as he lifted the garment off of Cloud's cold right shoulder. His hands moved to the left now, and worked to free Cloud of the shirt completely. Cloud shivered as the room's chilly temperature found his newly exposed skin, but he simply wrapped his arms around Tidus' back, holding his warmth against him for a few seconds before he began tugging at his garments, too.

Tidus' shirt joined Cloud's on the floor in no time, and lips met again hastily as Cloud pushed Tidus to lie down on the bed below him. Tidus mewled contentedly as Cloud fondled his bottom lip between his own, and as Cloud's hands found the zipper of his shorts. Tidus' fingers wandered to the back of Cloud's neck, and nestled there, gently stroking him while his shorts were removed.

Cloud let out a surprised grunt when he felt Tidus' other hand at his waist, undoing his trousers, but he didn't stop it; he didn't _want_ to. With small, gentle movements, they continued to undress each other. One by one, articles of clothing were tossed onto the floor.

They slunk under the bed covers that Cloud had unturned before Tidus had even entered the room. Now naked, and a little cold, they moved into each other's warmth, their chests pressing together and their legs weaving in between one another's. Their arms found their way to each other's backs, and once again their lips met, this time with a fiercer hunger. Their hips began to move against each other's, and although it felt good, it wasn't the way they wanted to obtain their pleasure tonight, and excitement was building faster than they had anticipated.

It was clear—even without saying a word—that the position wasn't right for them, and they were rapidly becoming eager to try something else. Cloud untangled himself from Tidus' body and sat up. When Tidus looked a little offended, Cloud silently coaxed him to sit up as well. The next thing Tidus knew, Cloud had taken his hand and raised it to his lips. He kissed each finger individually before slipping them into his mouth, letting Tidus know in the subtlest of ways that he could be the dominant one this time. He'd learned from their last few encounters like this that Tidus had wanted it that way, and quite honestly, Cloud didn't care one way or another.

Thankfully for Cloud, Tidus understood what those actions meant. The way Cloud was suckling at his fingers ever so delicately, the way he was thoroughly coating them—Cloud wanted him to prepare him for what was next.

Finally, Cloud removed Tidus' fingers from his mouth, and lay down on the bed beneath him. He spread his legs, waiting for Tidus to proceed, but to his surprise, Tidus was the one who seemed nervous. He held his wet fingers out to the side, like he wasn't quite sure what to do with them, though Cloud doubted that was the case.

"It's okay," Cloud assured him. Tidus took comfort in the fact that Cloud looked at ease, and so he moved forward. He was glad they were still mostly concealed by the bed blankets because, to be honest, he felt pretty awkward about what he was about to do, so much so that he was making Cloud a little nervous.

"Y-you do know what to do, right?" Cloud asked, a tiny, uncertain smile on his face. That smile was replaced with a serious look when Tidus brought his fingers firmly to his entrance. Cloud closed his eyes at the sudden pressure.

"Yep," Tidus nodded. "I just... want to get this right. So, you okay? You ready?"

"Yeah."

Tidus felt Cloud tense up as he circled his entrance, but he managed to push two fingers inside. Cloud's eyes were tightly closed, and Tidus prayed he wasn't hurting him. He pushed a little further, then pulled back slightly. He spoke up with a desire to lessen Cloud's tension.

"Have you ever done this before?" he asked, gently. Cloud's eyes fluttered open in surprise, and he managed a half-smile, thankful for Tidus' efforts to distract him from the slight discomfort.

"Once. With Zack. You?"

"Once," Tidus replied, adding a third finger. "With Yuna." He pushed in again, but Cloud hardly flinched this time.

"So, we shouldn't make complete fools of ourselves?" Cloud teased, though his voice remained a little strained.

"Hopefully not," Tidus chuckled.

Tidus continued to move his fingers inside Cloud's body as painlessly as he could. Cloud's eyes were now locked with his own, and he hoped the tender look in his eyes was enough to assure Cloud that his every move was made with love and care. Tidus was sure Cloud knew that when Cloud's arms wrapped around his neck, and held him close. Tidus felt so proud, and so loved in that moment with Cloud's hands curled around his neck and his fingers pressed between his shoulders—he knew by the way that Cloud was clutching him that he was wanted, that he was needed, and for the first time, he knew Cloud was looking forward to the act ahead just as much as he was.

It took Tidus a few minutes to get Cloud prepared, but after a few minutes of slow, patient movements and locked gazes, Tidus felt Cloud loosen up. Cloud was staring softly up at Tidus now, and Tidus smiled as he pressed a lingering kiss to Cloud's forehead. Cloud released a satisfied sigh as Tidus trailed kisses down to the tip of his nose, then his lips.

Tidus figured he'd might as well make a few more important stops before they truly began; it only seemed right to hit some of Cloud's favourite places first, to make Cloud feel as good as possible with those tiny actions that only Tidus knew he adored. Cloud released some gratifying noises as Tidus nuzzled his earlobe, suckled at his collarbone, licked at his navel. Meanwhile, his fingers pulsed gently inside Cloud a few more times. Cloud was definitely appreciative of his efforts, but he was ready for more.

As Tidus kissed his way down Cloud's lower abdomen, Cloud tugged open the drawer of his nightstand. Tidus glanced over as Cloud rooted through the drawer, but his lips never left Cloud's body.

"You... have everything?" Tidus asked, still smearing his kisses all over Cloud's waist.

"Yeah. It's your stuff, actually," Cloud chuckled, lightly, making Tidus perk his head up.

Tidus glanced in the drawer to see what Cloud was talking about. He was both relieved and surprised when Cloud motioned to the supplies he'd gotten from Zidane the night before the battle with Chaos. Tidus could see a few of his other belongings in the drawer as well. Some gil, a half-consumed potion, a few materia. Obviously, Cloud had salvaged the stuff from his knapsack and pockets before Tifa had taken his outfit for cleaning.

"Your sword is in the closet in the guest room, too. I don't know if I remembered to tell you that," Cloud said, rushing his words nervously.

"Cloud," Tidus whispered, pressing a kiss to Cloud's lips in hopes of easing his nerves. He felt Cloud relax a little beneath him, even as he eased his fingers out from within him. "It's okay."

"I know," Cloud nodded, mustering a sincere smile. This time, Tidus' hand reached into the drawer, and gathered the items they'd be needing. Lips met again, and Cloud's arms weaved around Tidus' neck again as Tidus worked to tear open a condom package. Cloud eyed it, and an amused smirk made his way to his face.

"Let me see that," Cloud said, momentarily tugging the package out of Tidus' hands and reading the print carefully. "' _Made in Lindblum_?' Did you get this from Zidane?"

"Oh, hehe, yeah," Tidus blushed. "Our last night there, I-I didn't know if we might—"

"You don't need to be embarrassed," Cloud smiled, gently, noticing his unease. "I just hope you didn't steal his entire stock, poor guy," he chuckled, eyeing the drawer which still contained another packet or two.

"Oh, don't worry," Tidus shook his head, his eyes growing unusually big. "He doesn't travel light when it comes to _these_ things." Cloud laughed heartily before meeting Tidus' lips again, and Tidus smiled at the sound of it, glad that the quip had made Cloud relax even more. Too bad it hadn't worked on both of them.

With his arms around him, Cloud could feel how shaky Tidus was. He broke the kiss, and glanced down to see Tidus' trembling fingers. Tidus tossed the open condom packet aside on the dresser before timidly meeting Cloud's concerned gaze.

"I shouldn't be this nervous, should I?" Tidus half-smiled. Cloud squeezed the back of his neck affectionately.

"It's our first time together. I'm nervous, too," Cloud said, honestly, giving Tidus a reassuring nod. Tidus nodded back, and Cloud sat up, getting to his knees before beginning to kiss Tidus again.

Tidus closed his eyes as Cloud kissed his way down his jaw, then ran a tongue down his neck before travelling back up to his lips. Cloud felt his partner shiver at the contact, and it wasn't long before he felt Tidus' hands between them. He was reaching for himself. Of course, it should have been expected. He'd done his job to get Cloud ready, but...

Tidus released tiny, muffled moans against Cloud's lips as he stroked himself, trying his best to prepare himself for what was ahead. He was pleasantly surprised when he felt Cloud's hands on his own, prying them away.

"Let me," Cloud whispered.

Tidus let his shaky hands fall away, and instead wrapped his arms around Cloud's back as Cloud continued to fondle him. Tidus had to pull away from their kiss as he found himself growing short of breath; Cloud's battle-worn hands were a little rough against the sensitive skin, but his movements were so careful and well-timed that Tidus felt a little lightheaded from the satisfaction.

Tidus tried to steady his breathing as Cloud kissed down his neck again, and onto his chest. Cloud ran his tongue along Tidus' salty skin as his hands continued to work. He let go when he felt Tidus stiffening; he didn't want to go too far just yet.

"Will you lie down for me?" Cloud whispered.

Tidus didn't know why he was being asked such a thing, but he wasn't about to object. He lay down, and within seconds, Cloud was hovering over him, smothering him with some more well-deserved kisses. His lips were becoming hot and sticky from their intermixing breaths, but everything felt so good, he didn't ever want to pull away.

"I love you," Tidus exhaled against Cloud's mouth.

"I love you, too," Cloud assured him. Tidus' hands found their way to his hair as he kissed his way down to his chest. Lips met the cold metal of the chain that hung from Tidus' neck—the Zanarkand Abes symbol—but to Cloud's surprise, Tidus simply reached for that last reminder of home, unclasped it, and set it aside on the nightstand. Maybe he really didn't feel the need to cling to home anymore, maybe he wasn't lonely for the worlds he had left behind. Maybe it was true that _Cloud was_ his home.

Cloud frowned, silently asking Tidus if he was sure about his decision to take off that important piece of jewelry. He couldn't recall ever seeing him without it before.

"I don't need it," Tidus told him with a smile, firmly believing that taking it off didn't mean he would lose himself, or his identity. Cloud smiled back, and pressed a kiss to Tidus' forehead.

"I won't let you disappear," he promised.

"Or forget who I am? Where I came from?" Tidus playfully asked.

"I won't let you forget," Cloud promised, his voice far more serious. His lips reached Tidus' chest again. His fingers rubbed circles along his abdomen.

"You're Tidus. The boy who grew up in Zanarkand, the city that never sleeps," Cloud began, his lips leaving Tidus' skin only long enough to speak his words.

"Warm like the sun, eyes like an ocean."

"Cloud?" Cloud immediately raised his head at the sound of his name, his expression both curious and a little worried.

"You okay?"

"Even if the fayth stopped dreaming... Or, even if Spira was tugging me back home..." Tidus smiled. "I don't think you'd let me disappear."

Cloud smiled back. He knew now why Tidus felt truly naked without that reminder of home clinging to his neck; Tidus felt it was his way of remaining here in the world of the living, preventing him from becoming a memory from a thousand years ago. It only made Cloud more convinced that Tidus trusted him—trusted him enough to let down his guard, just as Cloud had.

"You're right, I wouldn't. You're safe with me. You're real," Cloud smiled.

He felt Tidus settle beneath him, and he brought his attention back to relishing him. Cloud brought his lips to Tidus' left shoulder, and brushed them softly over the scar there, then trailed them down to Tidus' chest again. A soft noise escaped Tidus' throat as Cloud ran his tongue over his nipple, then took it into his mouth, suckling gently. Once he'd earned another noise or two, he raised his head to take in Tidus' face. His cheeks were a little flushed now, but he mustered a serene smile.

Tidus coaxed Cloud back to him with a gentle squeeze at the back of his neck. Their lips met again, and Cloud lowered his hips against Tidus', rolling them back and forth slightly. Tidus moaned, his back arching as his body tried to get as close to Cloud's as it could. Cloud eased his hands under Tidus' back, and held him close as their bodies moved together, their lips melting against one another's.

"Cloud?" Tidus murmured, after a few moments of Cloud's pleasant rhythm.

"Mm?"

"I think... I'm ready," Tidus spoke up. Cloud nodded against his lips; he could feel their heat pulsing between their thighs. Yes, they were both ready now.

"Me, too," Cloud whispered. He stopped moving his hips, and sat back up, pulling Tidus with him, arms around his neck. Tidus was still swarmed with sweet kisses as he reached for the condom again, and slipped it on. Then he reached for the lubricant bottle still standing on the dresser, and coated his sex with some of its contents.

Now, Cloud ceased his kisses, and pulled his face back just far enough that they could meet each other's eyes. Confident gazes were exchanged, and Tidus released a soft smile as he raised a hand. He captured Cloud's within his own, and laced their fingers together, then lowered them slowly, gently down to the bed.

Cloud's lips curled upwards as Tidus brought their linked hands to his mouth, and tenderly kissed Cloud's palm. Tidus watched his partner's expression oh so carefully as he moved forward, and he felt Cloud bring his legs up. Knees brushed against Tidus' sides, making the experience really settle in Tidus' brain, making it all the more real. They were really going to do this. But even though Cloud appeared ready, somehow, Tidus detected something within his eyes. A look of unease. Something wasn't right.

"What is it?" Tidus asked, worry written all over his face. "What's wrong?"

"Maybe... the position is wrong," Cloud said, quietly, looking a little ashamed.

"Okay?" Tidus said, waiting for Cloud to suggest something else. Cloud was still for a moment, looking like he was deep in thought, then he brought his lips to Tidus' once more, kissing him as he manoeuvred Tidus to the bed below him. Tidus leaned his head and upper back against the headboard, understanding what Cloud had in mind.

Cloud looked into Tidus' sea blue eyes and searched for all the trust he had ever placed in him. He quickly found it, and with it, found his courage. Tidus swiftly captured his lips as he hoisted him up, and Cloud's legs swung to rest on either side of his waist. Tidus lined them up and lowered him, and Cloud tossed his head back as their bodies connected. Tidus' breath hitched, but he quickly forced himself to relax, knowing it would make their joining more comfortable for Cloud, and hoping Cloud would relax along with him.

They looked in each other's eyes once more, finding all that trust, love, and patience that they needed to continue. Tidus kept himself very still as he leaned in to meet Cloud's lips in some slow, gentle kisses as they allowed their bodies to sink into the new connection. Cloud smiled at the contact and was grateful that Tidus was allowing him to take things slow. When their lips parted this time, they gave each other gentle nods, indicating they were ready to continue.

Tidus raised his hands, and let his fingers trickle down Cloud's sides before coming to rest at his waist. Cloud leaned over to meet Tidus' lips as he raised himself up for the first time, then slowly lowered himself back down. He could feel Tidus' muscles twitching below him, and he knew that everything they were about to do would feel incredible. Tidus met Cloud's lips eagerly as Cloud lifted himself up again, then forced himself back down a little harder this time. They both released a small whimper, and they paused for a moment, looking into each other's eyes once more. One glance was all they needed to know that everything was okay.

Cloud found it hard to believe that they were here in this moment, but it was that feeling of incredulity that made Cloud strive for perfection. Cloud loved Tidus, and he had to make sure in every move, kiss, and touch that Tidus knew that. Cloud had spent far too much time doubting Tidus' intentions, and even more time trying to keep himself away when Tidus was trying to work his way into his life. Now Tidus was here with him, and Cloud knew he couldn't lose him like he'd lost so many other things. No, he would keep Tidus as close as he could in hopes that they would last a lifetime.

It didn't take long for Cloud to break into a good rhythm, his body rising and falling in conjunction with Tidus'. Tidus was mesmerized by the way Cloud moved, the way he filled him with such a fierce energy with each small motion. Tidus watched Cloud's face each time he lowered himself, his eyes closing a little tighter, and his features twitching each time he drove Tidus just a little further inside himself. Tidus knew this wouldn't last nearly as long as he would like, but that only made him determined to memorize every detail about this night, about the way they were making each other feel.

"Are you doing okay?" Cloud asked, easing off his motions while they caught their breath.

"Yeah, you?" Tidus asked, face flushed.

"Yeah, but maybe now we could..." Again, Tidus understood what he meant. Cloud's forehead was glistening with a light sweat. His thighs were twitching with slight fatigue.

"Here," Tidus coaxed, gently. He captured Cloud's lips again, and eased Cloud's arms around his neck.

"Hang on, okay?" Tidus said, causing Cloud some confusion, but when he felt Tidus' arms holding him in place, he understood.

With slow movements, and utmost caution, Tidus moved Cloud to the bed beneath him, never breaking the connection between them. Cloud panted a little, obviously tired from the work he'd already done. He eagerly laced his fingers with Tidus' once more when he felt Tidus reaching for his hand, and he wrapped his legs around Tidus' back. He may have been timid to try this position in the beginning, but he was more than ready now; it was time for the last of his shields to come down.

"You all set?" Tidus asked.

"Yeah," Cloud nodded.

Slowly, carefully, Tidus began to move his hips, sinking deep inside Cloud for a moment before pulling back out. Cloud released a lustful noise, and Tidus took that as a sign that he was doing a good job. He pressed a kiss to Cloud's forehead before he continued to move again in the same motion. Cloud's free hand moved to the back of Tidus' neck, caressing him when he could, and clinging to him whenever small moments of pleasure overtook him.

From that moment on, everything began to blur. What stood out the most to Cloud, however, was not how good everything felt—although, every move they made together felt amazing—but how glad he was that this was happening with Tidus. Now that he was here in this moment, he had no fears, no regrets, and no guilt. It wasn't Zack or anyone else that he wanted. Only Tidus.

He wanted Tidus' extraordinary blue eyes staring into him. He wanted Tidus' perfectly tanned body warming him, and his battle-calloused hands caressing him. He wanted those soft, sea-salted lips on his own. He wanted to hear Tidus' pounding heart and gentle voice when this was all over.

Obviously, Cloud wasn't the only one with emotions running high. Tidus' thoughts were racing a mile a minute, along with his pulse, but the one thought that stood out amongst the rest was how much they had both changed since they had been together. Tidus was no longer the childlike teen he was when they had met; he was a brave, supportive young man, someone who Cloud trusted with all his heart, and he was ecstatic to know he was among the few souls who had ever earned such a title.

He had been waiting so long to earn Cloud's trust, and the fact that they were sharing an act this intimate seemed almost an impossibility when he thought back to where they had started. But with each quiet moan of his name, and each little twitch of Cloud's fingers as they clung to him just a little tighter, Tidus knew he deserved this. He had earned Cloud's affection, and Cloud was no longer afraid to deny him of it. Knowing that, Tidus swore to himself he would not let Cloud down. Not now. Not ever.

Sunkissed lips collided with pale skin as Tidus continued his movements. Cloud watched intently, analyzing the way Tidus' brows twitched with every little burst of pleasure. He silently hoped that whatever Tidus had had in the past with Yuna... He hoped it didn't compare to this. He didn't know how it could. He could see it in Tidus' eyes; Tidus was loving him with everything he had, and Cloud hoped Tidus knew he'd done the same thing.

Sporadic movements and tightening muscles indicated the moment would not last much longer, though both were trying their best to cling to the moment as long as they could.

"Cloud, I'm... getting close," Tidus admitted. Cloud groaned some sort of response; Tidus didn't think he was quite there yet. Cloud's eyes were tightly closed, but they flew open as Tidus slowed his hips.

"You ok—?" Cloud's sentence ended with a deep moan as Tidus moved his hand to his length. He wanted to make sure Cloud felt every bit as good as he did as they neared their end. Their eyes met again, this time a little more desperate as they knew it would all be over soon.

Tidus began moving his hips again, and he could feel Cloud's moving involuntarily with him. They rocked back and forth together, dying to remain in this wonderful moment, but neither could manage much longer.

"T-tidus—" Cloud managed, tossing his head to the side.

With a few more movements, he arrived with a loud moan, causing Tidus to mewl in unison with him, and the temperature seemed to skyrocket as Cloud's seed spread between them. Tidus could feel Cloud's muscles contracting around him, sending through him a new wave of delight, and with another couple of thrusts, he climaxed with a shuddering moan. Somehow, through his own pleasure, Cloud managed to spill a few lopsided kisses onto Tidus' nose and forehead as Tidus reached his peak. Cloud stroked the back of Tidus' neck as Tidus rocked his hips a few more times, trying to steal the last ounces of bliss from this moment.

And then, all too soon, the moment was over. Tidus withdrew from Cloud's body, and collapsed beside him, panting breaths and soft whimpers emerging as the euphoria began to simmer down.

They stared at each other fondly for several seconds as they caught their breath, their chests rising and falling heavily. Cloud was the first to speak, and he reached for Tidus' hand as he did.

"Here we are," he said, in almost a whisper. A smile crossed his face as Tidus pressed a kiss to the damp hair that was swept across his forehead.

"Here we are," Tidus repeated, smiling back.

* * *

They lay there for a long time, revelling in the afterglow. Cloud's bed was warm with the covers pulled up high, bodies pushed close together. Arms and legs were entwined. Fingers were laced. They lay on their sides, facing each other, their hazy eyes locked with one another's. They didn't say anything. They didn't have to. Their actions spoke louder than words.

It was a while before either of them made any move. When they did, Tidus was the first to speak up. He propped himself up on his elbow, and gazed down at his tired partner.

"So, on a scale from one to amazing... That was pretty amazing, huh?"

"It really was," Cloud nodded, a soft smile gracing his face. His smile grew as Tidus leaned over and met his lips. Cloud's arm travelled around his neck, caressing his bronze skin. Tidus leaned back just far enough for their lips to part and their eyes to meet.

"I still don't understand, though. What changed your mind? I thought you wanted to wait," Tidus said. Cloud was silent at first, wondering whether or not he should let the truth come out, but this was Tidus, and he felt closer to him now than he ever had. He didn't need to hold back anymore.

"Would you believe me if I told you Zack came to me in a dream last night?" Cloud asked. Tidus' heart leapt into his throat with the realization that his prayers may have worked, but he managed to disguise his shock with a mere shrug.

"Stranger things have happened, right? What did he say to you?"

"A lot of things. Told me to take my chances with you, said he was happy for us, that this was what he wanted for me."

Oh," Tidus nodded, unsure of how to react. He certainly didn't have any proof, but he liked to think that he may have been the cause of Zack's visit. "And that made things easier?"

"Yeah, it did. Just knowing that he's at peace with all of this, and just knowing that he's watching over both of us... It makes things a lot easier," Cloud said, another serene smile spreading over his features.

His eyes travelled over to the picture frame atop his dresser, to where Zack's finger had traced over the dusty frame, leaving a clean trail in its wake. His heart fluttered, his smile growing just a little wider, and his soul warmer. Zack really had been here with him. All he'd said had been true, and Cloud was proud knowing he had succeeded in following his advice. For the first time, he felt he hadn't failed Zack; he'd done just the opposite—he'd made Zack proud.

"You know, you really are beautiful when you smile," Tidus grinned, catching Cloud off guard. Cloud's eyes widened a little as he regained his focus, but when his expression softened, he and Tidus leaned together for another kiss.

Their noses rubbed together as they parted, and they rolled onto their backs, their heads resting together, their bodies still pushed up alongside one another's. Their hands brushed together, and linked under the covers, like two pieces of a perfectly-manufactured puzzle.

"So, Cloud Strife, what are your plans now?" Tidus asked, smiling as they gazed up at the white ceiling.

"My plans?" Cloud repeated.

"Yeah, you know. Life plans."

"I don't know. Guess we decide that sort of thing together now, don't we?" Cloud smiled, turning his head to press a few kisses to Tidus hair.

"Sounds good to me," Tidus chuckled, softly. "But, you and me, we're gonna be together, aren't we? For life?"

Tidus' eyes were so innocent and hopeful, and with burdens off Cloud's shoulders and his emotions on a high, he felt the same hopefulness that Tidus did. He wasn't the same Cloud that Tidus had met on a mission for Cosmos; he _was_ Cloud Strife, but happy. Better.

"And long after that," Cloud promised, capturing Tidus' lips again, knowing how much that would mean to Tidus after their discussions about the afterlife.

He was right. Tidus melted at those words, and at that touch. 'Til death do us part' just didn't make sense in this world. The Lifestream would allow them to exist together, even after death. And now, Zack would be waiting for _both_ of them, with welcoming, open arms.

"I just have one question," Tidus interrupted, slowly and hesitantly pulling away from the kiss.

"Yeah?"

Tidus bit his lip, wondering whether he should risk bringing up a subject that might spoil the quintessential atmosphere of their night, but he felt he had to. There was one thing he was still unsure of, one thing that he feared Cloud might forever keep a secret from him.

"It's more of a request, I guess you could say," Tidus went on, crinkling his brows.

"Tidus?"

"When we were in the church the other day," Tidus started, rolling onto his side to face Cloud. He propped himself up on his elbow again and stared into those curious blue eyes. "You said... you don't like to show anyone your photo album because there are a lot of private things in there."

"Yeah?" Cloud asked.

"Well, I was just wondering..."

Tidus stopped abruptly when Cloud threw the covers off of himself, and scrambled out of bed. Tidus bit his lip harder this time, and closed his eyes as Cloud headed across the room, too distraught to even consider taking this great opportunity to stare. He'd done it, struck a nerve. Just as his brain raced through ways to take back what he'd said, Cloud spoke up again.

"You want to see it?" the man asked, gently.

"Huh?" Tidus questioned, craning his neck to see what Cloud was doing. Cloud returned to the bed seconds later, crawling back under the covers and sitting back against the headboard.

"You could have just asked," Cloud replied, placing the leather album atop the covers. Tidus' gaze went straight to the book, then he eyed Cloud curiously.

"Really?"

Cloud didn't need to give a verbal reply. A gentle flicker of his eyes was the only requirement for making Tidus believe him. Tidus' eyes filled with excitement, and he sat up beside Cloud. He moved in close, his head pressed up against Cloud's. He gave Cloud a grateful peck on the cheek as Cloud turned open the first page. Cloud turned to look at him once more before he began. He whispered softly,

"This is my mother, Claudia. And behind her, that was my home, in Nibelheim."

"Guess I know where you get your good looks," Tidus whispered back, eyes meeting Cloud's in a tender playfulness.

"She was certainly pretty. And a great cook. I picked up quite a few tips and tricks from her. Fortunately, Tifa learned a lot of my mom's recipes while I was at Shinra. I was a terrible cook when I joined the army, but I think I've improved since then," Cloud explained, voice gentle and filled with affection, rather than sadness; it was a welcome change.

"You have. Remember that fish you made for me? That was amazing!" Tidus beamed, and Cloud tried to keep himself from blushing.

"It seems to have made an impression, at least," Cloud smiled, remembering the meal which, he did have to admit, had been rather tasty.

"You bet!"

Cloud continued on with the book after that, going through every page, and speaking about every detail he could think of. He even asked Tidus if he had further questions, willingly volunteering to give him information that he had forgotten or left out, and Tidus took him up on that offer. He asked about Aerith, how she had died, what she had been like. He asked about Shinra, Sephiroth, Meteor, even Zack, and not once did Cloud shy away from giving straight answers. Cloud didn't even flinch at the tough questions. He simply smiled softly, and explained, fully ready to be nothing but honest with Tidus. No more secrets.

And when Cloud turned to the first blank page, realizing he had come to the end of his photo collection, he allowed Tidus to take the book into his own hands, and look through it once more at his own leisure. To his surprise, Tidus had finally come to the end of his questions about the pictures, and instead seemed interested in what wasn't there at all.

"You must not take a lot of pictures anymore. There are an awful lot of blank pages in the back," Tidus observed, flipping through the numerous empty parchment sheets.

"That's a good thing," Cloud said, grabbing his phone from his nightstand drawer, and slinking back down into a lying position. He lay there on his back, clicking buttons on his cellular device.

"Huh? Why is that a good thing?" Tidus raised a brow. Didn't that mean Cloud didn't have a lot of things important enough to him to fill that book? It seemed kind of sad, looking at it that way.

"It means there's lots of room left," Cloud explained.

"For what?"

Cloud patted the bed, coaxing Tidus to lie back down with him. Tidus left the book on his lap as he snuggled back down under the covers, and he gave Cloud a curious glance as Cloud reached for him. Gently, Cloud pulled Tidus' head in against his own, encouraging him to move in close. They were pressed shoulder-to-shoulder, and as Cloud smiled and raised his phone up above them, Tidus understood perfectly. He grinned up at the camera, waiting patiently as Cloud captured them both in a beautiful snapshot.

"Us."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: THE END. Well, almost. There's still the epilogue, so don't leave yet! Okay, where do I even begin? Well, for starters, I should apologize for all those chapters along the way that were really short, because when I got to this one... Well, of course, this one was over 9000 words long, and then I kept asking myself, "Why, oh, why did I write so much for the smutty chapter?" But it's okay, right? It's been a very long time coming, and I wanted it to be worth the wait in every aspect. So, hopefully it lived up to those expectations!
> 
> And yes, I'm sure some of you are like, "What? Cloud was on the bottom?!" Buuuut, I have my reasons. I don't think I've ever seen anything where Tidus tops Cloud (not that there are a ton of fics/fanarts of this type out there, but I've seen a few), and I'm guessing it's an age thing? Or maybe their personalities? But I've always thought of Tidus as being the more forward of the two, without a doubt, and I think this entire story is about Cloud letting himself trust in another person, which is why I chose to write it this way.
> 
> Also, Zack probably topped with Cloud, and respectively same with Tidus and Yuna, so considering it was their first time together, they would probably be most comfortable proceeding in the same way they had done it before. But even so, I also made sure Cloud had lots of moments during this scene with Tidus where he felt dominant as well. So, hopefully, through all that, you know, mushy, blushy stuff, there was still a feeling of equals.
> 
> I gotta say, I love the ending. It was actually only a few months ago when I came up with the idea of Cloud taking the photo of them at the end. I originally just ended it with them about to look through the book, but it felt kind of unfinished. Then it came to me, and I knew it was the way I wanted to end it. With that one-line, super powerful, "Us." Hee hee. Yay, they're finally together! For real!
> 
> A little bit of random trivia here. This story was originally 32 chapters long, but when I edited it for upload, it grew a lot! So, yay, we get 39 chapters instead (counting epilogue). Why didn't I make it to 40 chapters? Don't know. It just worked out that way. And another thing, according to Final Fantasy Wiki, Cloud's mother's name was Claudia in her concept art, so I went with it.
> 
> So, yes, EPILOGUE! I plan to upload it either tomorrow or the next day, because it's only short, and I don't want to keep you poor readers suffering any longer. I think a year and a half is enough waiting for a resolution, huh? Stay tuned... :D
> 
> Oh, AND one more thing, I uploaded a new story called "Sunny With a Chance of Cloud." It's a collection of Tidus/Cloud ficlets that I wrote over the past few years. Just a little something to keep the Clidus love going. There will be a bit of everything in there. Fluff, sadness, cutness, humor, everything really. And don't worry, I've written a lot of oneshots for them, so there shouldn't be any shortage! Be sure to take a look if you're interested, and I sincerely hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thanks, as always, for reading! Feedback and constructive criticism is always appreciated :) Thank you so, so much to all who have been commenting, sending kudos, and showing your support! I can't express how much it means to have support, especially for a story like this that has taken up so much of my time and brain power the last three years. I will always try to write back to any comments I receive, so please, don't be shy! I love chatting with you all!


	39. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_Two Years Later..._

Cloud stood on the Junon wharf, gazing out over the wide ocean. Around the dock were other civilians, waiting patiently—accompanied by some small children who were instead waiting rather _impatiently_ —for their loved ones to arrive. Cloud adjusted the bouquet of cellophane-wrapped roses he held in his arms, clutching it just a little tighter. He'd figured he would stick out like a sore thumb carrying a present so cliché, but as he glanced around, he was relieved to see many others carrying the same types of greeting gifts.

Cloud looked back out to the water. A huge ocean liner was making its way toward the dock, and Cloud couldn't keep the smile off his face as he watched it. Any minute now, the ship would drop anchor, and the soul that Cloud longed for would emerge. Cloud's stomach fluttered, his heart pounding hard against his chest at the mere thought of seeing Tidus again.

Before he'd even realized the ship had docked, Cloud saw people coming down the ramp of the boat, down onto the wharf. He craned his neck, trying to pick Tidus out through the sea of people. It didn't take long for Tidus to find his way out of the crowd. Cloud's heart leapt when he saw him—his backpack slung casually over one shoulder, a huge smile on his face as he approached.

"Miss me?" Tidus asked, raising his eyebrows in a quick tease.

"You have no idea," Cloud smiled, heaving a sigh of relief. He watched as Tidus walked toward him, and he anxiously awaited the second Tidus became close enough to pull into an embrace; he knew he wouldn't be able to restrain himself.

"Hey, mister. You're Tidus, aren't you?" came a small voice to Tidus' left. Cloud suppressed a sigh, disappointed that they had been interrupted. Tidus looked down beside him to where a small, blond boy stood staring up at him in awe, his hands behind his back.

"Um, yup," Tidus smiled, rubbing the back of his head. "That's me."

"Will you sign my blitzball?" the boy asked, taking his hands out from behind his back, and shoving a ball as high up as his arms would reach. Tidus' smile grew into a wide grin as he took the ball into his own hands.

"Sure," he said, grabbing a marker from his backpack before scribbling his name onto it. He spun it around on his finger before tossing it back to the boy, who caught it with ease.

"Thanks, mister!" the child beamed, before taking off back into the crowd. "Mommy, mommy, look! I got it! I got his autograph!" his voice echoed.

Tidus and Cloud released soft chuckles as they watched him, then they turned their gazes back toward each other. In a few short steps, they were in each other's arms, too excited to care what bystanders thought of their public display of affection.

"I missed you so much," Cloud breathed into the crook of Tidus' neck. Tidus smiled, and pressed a few kisses to Cloud's hair.

"Betcha I missed you more."

"I don't know about that," Cloud smirked, just breathing him in, and enjoying every second of it.

"Oh, these are for you," Cloud remembered, finally pulling away and presenting Tidus with the flowers when he felt like they had been in each other's arms for too long, and when he realized they were probably crushing the beautiful arrangement. Tidus smiled and took the bouquet into his hands.

"Thanks! Red roses, huh? Pretty romantic, Cloud," Tidus practically sang, voice teasing.

"Yeah, Yuffie helped pick them out. She said red roses signify love, courage, respect, and passion."

Cloud's gaze met Tidus' adoring one; Tidus was obviously listening intently, with his tilted head and soft gaze. Cloud was suddenly aware of the attention on him, and he lowered his head—as if he wasn't already self-conscious about the present.

"Sorry," Cloud said, shaking his head, becoming a little timid. "I shouldn't have gotten something so lame."

"Hey, they're not lame. I love them," Tidus assured his partner, giving him another grin. He transferred the flowers over to one arm while the other wove around Cloud's shoulders, holding him close as they headed away from the dock.

"But, you know, you don't need to worry about us running low on any of those things. Not even that last one," Tidus added with a smirk.

"Huh?" Cloud asked, his head snapping up to look at Tidus, a timid look on his face as he concluded what Tidus meant. "You mean, passion?"

"Yeah, that one," Tidus winked.

Cloud lowered his head again, knowing he was in for a night of wild loving, but he was used to it. It was normally their way of reconnecting after having been apart for a while, and neither one of them was about to complain about that.

"So, how was the game? I mean, I saw it on TV, but..." Cloud spoke up.

His smooth way of changing the subject did not go unnoticed by Tidus, but he decided to let it slide. He didn't want Cloud to get mad for making him blush like those vibrant raspberries he hated so much.

"It was great. This new kid I recruited, he scored a bunch of goals, and after we won, this guy on the resort bought drinks for the whole team. It was a lot of fun," Tidus explained, casting sidelong glances at Cloud as they walked; he just couldn't keep his eyes off of him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there. If it weren't for the deliveries—"

"Come on, Cloud," Tidus sighed, giving Cloud a gentle shake with his arm still wrapped around him. "You make it to most of my games. It's not like you're never there."

"I know, I just _like_ being there for you," Cloud said, his own arm finding its way around Tidus' waist. Tidus released a gentle sigh.

"I like that, too," he smiled.

As they proceeded out of Junon, Tidus' head filled with thoughts of blitzball. Blitzball here in Cloud's world was a lot different than it had been back in his homeworld. Here, it lacked a proper stadium for one thing, and the majority of the game was played with everyone's head above the surface since not everyone could breathe underwater as effortlessly as Tidus could. Still, it was fun, especially since Tidus had been in charge of re-inventing the rules, and designing the blitzballs to look like the ones in Spira. Tidus liked this new version of blitzball because it reminded him of Cloud. Getting blitzball going in Costa del Sol never would have happened in the first place if not for Cloud's efforts, and it was a kindness that Tidus wouldn't soon forget.

"So, how are things back home?" Tidus asked, once they had reached the exit to Junon. Fenrir was parked just outside, waiting for them.

"Back at Seventh Heaven? Good," Cloud nodded. He politely took Tidus' flowers and set them carefully in the sidecar he'd attached to his motorcycle earlier that day.

"That boy I told you about, the one I found at the church, I told him all about you," Cloud said, smiling.

"Oh, yeah? Denzel, was it?" Tidus asked, raising a brow, and dropping his backpack into the sidecar as well.

"Yeah," Cloud replied, with a nod. "He's still pretty shy, but he's coming around."

"That's awesome," Tidus smiled, climbing on the back of the motorcycle.

"And how's the progress on the extension?" Tidus asked, wrapping his arms around Cloud's middle as Cloud put the keys into the ignition and started up the vehicle.

"The workers say it'll just be a day or two now."

"And then we'll have our own little place, huh? Right next door to Seventh Heaven," Tidus smiled, leaning forward to rest his head on Cloud's shoulder. Cloud turned his head back just enough to meet Tidus' lips in a crooked but much appreciated kiss.

"It should be amazing," Cloud smiled, blinking hazily as they parted.

"It _will_ be," Tidus grinned, pressing another kiss to the side of Cloud's face as Cloud revved the engine. Fenrir's wheels spun in the ground a few times before taking off through the open field—its destination: home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: THE END. For real this time. What a bitter-sweet moment, haha. I feel happy, yet sort of empty inside as well. I just can't believe it's over!
> 
> Anyway, I hope this was a satisfying way to end the story, and I thank everyone who read this and supported it in any/every way! I've so enjoyed chatting with reviewers, and watching the views/kudos climb over the past year, and it's been a really fun time writing/editing/uploading this work!
> 
> The fun doesn't necessarily stop here. As I mentioned in the last chapter note, I started a new collection of oneshots featuring Tidus/Cloud, and I hope you'll take a look at those as well. I'll be adding many to it in the future, so even if the first couple seemed a little somber, don't worry; they're definitely not all like that.
> 
> Also, be sure to check out my tumblr blog: clidusshrine.tumblr.com. It's basically an online shrine dedicated to these two amazing characters. There's everything from fanart to cosplay to videos, so I'm sure you'll find something you like there if you're a fan of this pairing. I recently started posting a lot of stuff I made with T/C models (thank you to those on Deviantart who made those amazing models and made it possible for me to make pretty things), so there are some scenes from this story and everything on there. I am also currently working on recreating Cloud's photo album from this story. It should be a fun project, and I will upload the pages when I'm done!
> 
> Other than that, I guess there's not much more to say. It's been a thrill sharing this story with you all, and thank you to everyone who saw it through to the end! Take care, and happy reading!


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